Shifting Culture
Shifting Culture invites you into transformative conversations at the intersection of faith, culture, justice, and the way of Jesus. Host Joshua Johnson engages thoughtful guests in conversations about spiritual growth, justice, creativity, and healing - drawing from the teachings of Jesus to break cycles of division, violence, and pain.
If you're searching for practices that go beyond theory into real-life change - a way of living that honors the dignity of every person and seeks reconciliation even with those we disagree with - this podcast offers fresh perspectives for navigating today's complex world.
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Shifting Culture
Ep. 366 Jenny Marrs - Trust God, Love People
In this episode, I sit down with Jenny Marrs, author, adoptive mom, and co-host of HGTV’s Fixer to Fabulous, for a tender and deeply human conversation about grief, waiting, restoration, and the steady presence of God in the middle of it all. Jenny shares openly about a season of profound loss, the long and miraculous journey to bring her daughter home from the Congo, and the everyday choice to trust God when life feels overwhelming or out of control. We talk about compassion in a divided world, what it means to “go with the strength you have,” and how the smallest moments, from heart-shaped stones to a stranger’s kindness to a child’s simple confession of faith, can become markers of God’s faithfulness. This is an honest and hopeful look at what it means to live out Trust God, Love People in real time, and I believe her story will be both grounding and deeply encouraging for you.
Jenny Marrs is a designer, author, and passionate advocate for community transformation, family preservation, and orphan care around the globe. She is the author of House + Home = Love, and co-hosts Fixer to Fabulous with her husband, Dave. She and Dave live on a small farm in Bentonville, Arkansas, with their five kids and too many animals to count.
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Remember who God is, and remember the way he's been tangible and personal in your own story.
Joshua Johnson:Hello and welcome to the shift in culture podcast in which we have conversations about the culture we create and the impact we can make. We long to see the body of Christ look like Jesus. I'm your host. Joshua Johnson, you know, in this conversation, we step into a story shaped by trust, surrender and the fierce tenderness of God's presence in the ordinary and the impossible. Jenny Mars, writer, adoptive mom and co host of Hg TV's fixer to fabulous, joins me to talk about her new book, trust God, love people, but what she really offers is something deeper. Jenny shares honestly about seasons of waiting, the ache of loss and the small sacred markers of God's faithfulness that shows up right when we need them most. She talks about the years, long journey to bring her daughter home from the Congo, the moments of fear that push her toward surrender and the everyday work of restoration, both in the home she makes beautiful unfix her fabulous and in the lives she pours herself into at home. Her story reminds us that faith is built in the rhythms of showing up when we feel empty, choosing compassion in a polarized world and trusting that God will meet us with the strength we need for the next small step. This episode is an invitation to slow down, remember who God has been, and rediscover the beauty in our own stories. So join us for a conversation that's tender, grounded and full of hope. Here is my conversation with Jenny Mars. Jenny, welcome to shifting culture. So excited to have you on thanks for joining me.
Unknown:Thank you so much. Thanks for having me in your book,
Joshua Johnson:trust God, love people, which is fantastic. You write about picking up heart shaped stones as tangible markers of God's faithfulness. What stone are you carrying around right now? What's a marker that you have at the moment?
Unknown:Right now we we've just been walking through a season of loss. Lost a lot of people that are close to us. It's been a really hard probably four months. But two weeks ago, Dave's mom passed away, and she was just, you know, one of the best humans I know, and she's model of how to be an incredible mother in law. But this past weekend, Dave and I had to go out of town for a home show that we had already committed to a speaking event. And we went to dinner the night. We were going one night, and we went out to dinner, and there was a table next to us, and they there were just, it was four women, and they were kind of chatting and stuff. And they said, Hello, they noticed Dave and I, and had, you know, so they watched the show, and we were like, Oh, thank you, you know. And where are you guys from? And we got into a conversation, and it turns out the it was a wife and a daughter. I mean, a mom and a daughter, and then a sister and a daughter, and they were on this trip because the mom had just recently, and the daughter had just lost her dad, and mom had lost her husband. And we were like, Oh my gosh, and Dave's parents are Catholic, and so they always would pass out rosaries like that was just some that was something his mom always did. And so this woman handed us. She said, You know what? I just feel like I meant to give this to you tonight. She took it out of her pocket, and she gave it to Dave, and it was like, just this sweet little just a god wink, moment that we were like, oh, it just reminded us of Dave's mom, because that would be something she would do. But then also that we we've been obviously so sad, and we were like, Oh, do we go on this trip? Like, whoa. Do we leave the kids? And we already had this commitment. And it was just like this moment of God saying, I see you. And it was, it was a really sweet moment. And for us too, for that, that other, you know, the table next to us, for us to say to them, like, we see you. You know, God sees you as well. Like, it was really beautiful. So it was a really so it was a really sweet, sweet moment, yeah,
Joshua Johnson:as a beautiful, sweet moment. And you know, grief is, is hard, and when God gives you those, those things of saying, you know, I'm with you, I see you, and in presence, it's really such a gracious, beautiful moment that we have. You'll find that, you know it continues as the grief ebbs and wanes and flows through you, like you know there's going to be presence, and you talk a lot about that in your book, is that the in between time and the waiting time. Of of hoping for something and you're holding on to hope, but really not knowing if something is going to to happen. What rhythms have you found in your life to keep hope alive and don't calcify yourself into like denial and bitterness?
Unknown:One thing I've learned in seasons, particularly of waiting, is I found that those are the seasons where God's using or working on my heart and trying to teach me something. And so it's not easy. It takes a while to get there, but I have found that if I get to the point of saying, Okay, God, what should I be learning in this season of waiting. Then he then does teach me and reveals those things to me. Once I get to that heart posture, at first, it's like, just give me the thing that I want, and we need to get to the end of this part right now. I'm sick of this part, because this is the this is the hard stuff, but I know in those moments he is working, because that's those are the times when we're when I at least am relying on him. The most is when I'm in those either really hard seasons of like now grieving, or if we're waiting for something, or, you know, when we were waiting for our daughter to come home, or waiting to have kids, or waiting for healing all of those things. Those are the times that I had nothing else to lean on but to lean on God, and to to just keep coming to Him, asking and asking. Because I think sometimes in the sort of like abundant, restful, easier seasons, because everybody has all of those like that is life. You're going to have seasons of rest. But sometimes those seasons, you can sort of take God for granted, like you're just kind of cruising along and you you know you're doing your thing. And maybe they're not even restful seasons. Honestly, it's sometimes the really busy just seasons of life. Like, I mean, right now I have teenagers and work and like, I feel like this is a really busy season, so you're just sort of plowing ahead and making it through day by day, and you almost like, forget to rely on on God in those times. So I think using or looking at like, kind of changing our perspective on seasons of waiting or seasons of hard hardship, and looking at those and as an opportunity to learn something in that time, and as an opportunity for your heart to be shaped, and as an opportunity to lean fully on the Lord and knowing that he can use he can work in those those times, just as well as the you know, mountaintop, joyful times, and probably,
Joshua Johnson:what does that look like? I mean, yeah, but what does that look like for you? So if somebody that you need to rely on something that I think God was whispering, I don't fear. So if that's a big thing for you, it's probably because there's some fear in life of and worry and trying to rely on God, especially in a season like you're in now, in grief and loss and in busyness at the same time, what is what is like, tangible presence with God feel like for you, like, where can you find rhythms to say, I could slow down and I could actually sense or know that God is with me in these times where it may be chaotic or fearful.
Unknown:Oh gosh, yeah, I think in terms of, like, what does it look like tangibly? I there's times, you know, and I always start off in the morning in the word in some capacity, and I've been doing the Bible recap. I love it. It's something that just gives sometimes, like, right now I'm in Leviticus. I'm not following, like, the January to December, but like sometimes, like, Leviticus is kind of hard and kind of dry and kind of like, oh, gory. Like, I don't want to talk about slaughtering animals, but just getting and doing it every day, and spending, you know, whatever, however, amount of time that looks like, sometimes it's 10 minutes, but I think that that act like that, just doing it over and over, the actual, you know, showing up, part of it is really important, even if sometimes you're like, Oh, I didn't really get anything from that, but I think it's Very important. I think it builds just, you know, planting the word on your heart, and it builds, it builds so much in that discipline. And then I think, for me, I do have, I mean, I talked about I traveled. We just were we had to fly, and I hate flying. I used to love flying, and I hate it. Now I'm scared of it. I mean, I have this, like, sometimes it's okay, and sometimes I'm fine, and then some, usually when it's Dave and I away from the kids, I'm worried. And I remember being a kid and we never flew anywhere, because, first of all, we couldn't afford to fly anywhere. But also, my mom didn't ever want to fly. She was afraid of it as well. And so I always kind of felt like, if it was something my mom. Mom was scared of then it's a scary thing, and so I don't want my kids to be afraid of flying, and I try not to ever impart that onto them. But I do feel like I have this God just puts I always want to try. I love traveling. I want to go see new places, and I want to go visit friends that he's put on our hearts that live far away. And I feel like when I'm flying, it's one of those times that I'm like, Okay, this is truly I'm out of it's out of my control. Lord, I have to hand it over to you. So it's like this act of surrender that I either cannot go or I can choose to trust him. And sometimes I'm really freaking out, honestly, like, not good, but I have to choose to trust him in that moment, because I get on the plane, and so I think it's those like just sort of, even if you're afraid, doing it anyway, because you have to, you have to have the markers of faithfulness. You have to learn who God is, and you have to continue to just look back on who he is and what he's done for you in the past, so that you can trust him now and trust Him in your future, and know that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, because bad things just happen. I mean, that's just part of life. It's not always going to be you were not promised that if we choose to follow God, follow Jesus, that everything goes great, goes perfectly. We're actually told the opposite, but we just have to keep that eternal perspective and also remembering who God is. And I think that's, for me, the key is like, Okay, what is the heart of God? And the heart of God is love, and all of the you know, all of the names of God and how faithful he is, and how he's with anger, and he's a shelter and all of those things, and just kind of reminding ourselves of who he is. And in those times when, yeah, when fear comes or sorrow comes, but yeah, resting in that, and then having that, that discipline, like I said, I think is really important whether and that looks different for everyone. For me, it's, I, if I don't get into Scripture first thing in the morning, I will, it's, you know, I will get busy in the day, and it just probably won't happen. So I do try always, first thing to to spend time in the Word the
Joshua Johnson:book title, trust God, love people. It's, it's more than just a book title. It's part of what you're trying to do in life. Like this is who you are. Where did it become real for you in your life? Where is this? Trust God, love people.
Unknown:You know, I grew up in the church. I grew up my family had a wonderful family, had a wonderful experience. I was I felt like as a like, teenager and young 20 something, I was just kind of, like cruising along. I could get I've always been sort of driven in terms of, like, achievement and, you know, just doing whatever I needed to get done. I could just work harder and do it. And it was one day when I first decided we were ready to have kids, and, you know, we were like, Okay, that's what we're gonna do. Let's go. And then they didn't get, you know, it didn't happen. And we, we struggled for for several years trying to have children, and I think that whatnot. I think I know that was the first time that it was ever, there was ever something that was truly just out of my control, like I couldn't just work harder or do something different, or go to a different doctor or solve the problem on my own. It truly was a season of learning to fully surrender and fully trust that there's got, you know, God's working in this and how can he be working? Because I did, at the same time, believe that he put that desire on my heart. So I knew, because I didn't use I wasn't like, I wasn't one of those kids you grew up thinking, I want to have a lot of kids. When I grew up, and I didn't even know if I wanted to have kids, my mom always laughs, because she's like, You have five kids, and I didn't know if you would ever have any. And so all of a sudden it was like, I wanted, that I wanted to. And I thought, well, I all right, this is something I want, so I'll go. You know, now it's time. And so I knew that God put the desire there, but he also used that time to change my heart and to learn who he really is, and to really learn to surrender and be open handed with my life and the things that I'm are in my life and the people that are in my life. I think that was probably the first turning point in my 20s, and then the loving people piece. I mean, I've always been people pleaser, and so I think that's different than loving people pleasing people, you're never going to you're just never going to please everyone. It's impossible. But having viewpoint towards others that is bent on compassion is really important. And I think I say that because I think we don't really know what everyone's carrying. And I think everyone that we interact with is carrying something, and we have no idea. That is. And so I think that always leaning into compassion first and thinking, you know what this person is, for example, maybe really rude to me today, but I have no idea what happened just before our interaction. And so I have to just view them from that lens. And they may not like me. They may totally disagree with me all of the things, but if I can view them as a child of God, I then can can move forward in that. And I don't have to make it about me, and I don't have to make about me, and they don't have to be my best friend, and I don't have to, you know, spend a ton of time with them, but I can compassionately love them in a tangible way. That's what's required of me in that moment. But I also just don't have to be angry with people, you know, because there's a lot of opportunities right now in our world to be angry with one another and somebody else's opinion, or all the things. And I just, if you're if you're letting go of that, it's about me perspective, and it's actually, really, genuinely, you're trying to live the Jesus life of loving people, then you can passionately view people from a lens of, okay, we may disagree, but that's okay. You know, I it's not my job to make you think like me or be like me. That's that's just not my job. But I can go up for you or, you know, I can offer you just a kind smile, or, you know, I think it's just those that viewpoint of how to how to view people is through a lens of compassion.
Joshua Johnson:I think compassion is such a is such a key and a helpful thing in this world, and especially in the world of our polarization and our, you know, us versus them mentality that we have in this world, that we need to see people, that they are made in the image of God. They're fully human and made, and God loves them. We should actually see them with compassion as well in that trusting part and then trusting God. I think you know when we we It took about five years for us to have kids as we once, we started trying, and it was really hard. And I think the biggest piece for during that time, for my wife especially, was a comparison thing, like, God, why are you giving them babies and not me? Like, why not me? Why not me? And I think that's a it's a hard place to be in when you're like, hey, there's a desire, and we think, and it's a good desire, and it's a desire that's from God. But we aren't seeing that yet. I don't know if you struggle with comparison and like, struggle with that, but how do you get to a place where you know it's not just about why didn't you give this to me? God, but I'm going to trust
Unknown:you. Yeah, no, that's a hard one, because I do remember one time, specifically, sitting in the waiting room at another appointment and looking around and everyone else there was pregnant, and I was like, oh, and I just left that appointment and just sat in my car and cried and cried and cried, and my sister in law called and let me know she was was pregnant, and I cried and cried and cried, and I'm working for her. And it wasn't. It was just I couldn't separate my joy for her versus my pain for myself. I think it well, I don't know if I ever really got there perfectly, but I really did get to a place where I said, even if and had to get to that place, it was like the rock bottom moment of like, I either trust you or I don't, and I don't know how this ends, like I have no way to know if I'll ever have kids, but I know that you are trustworthy, and I have to choose to walk in faith, because I don't know, I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, And I have to believe that I can only see just so far ahead, but you can see much further ahead. And if that's the case, then what I can see feels really sad, and I'm feeling a lot of self pity, and I'm feeling a lot of yes this comparison, but I have to trust that there's something on the other side. And now obviously, all these you know, the boys, my young, my oldest are 15, the twins. So 1516, years later, it's easy to say, because here I am. I have five kids. But in that moment, and in that that season, I did get to that place of fully surrendering. But I don't know that I ever got to the place of saying, of not feeling sad still when someone else was pregnant and I wasn't that, I was at the like, towards, you know, the end once I was finally feeling like, Okay, Lord, I really do trust you. I don't think it was like, there was times when I was mad at God. Definitely, but towards the end, it was just like, I'm, you know what? I'm sad and and I kind of feel like that's okay. He would, I think he was okay with that. And I There were times when I just didn't go to baby showers, or I couldn't, I just couldn't be there, you know, for a friend. And I hated that. And I afterwards, like my sister in law, I had to apologize to her afterward, but it just really was a matter of protecting my heart, and I didn't want to become bitter, and I didn't want to become cynical, and that was very hard, but I got. I got to a place of fully surrendering, but I wasn't not sad. I think that's okay too,
Joshua Johnson:as you're going through this process, you decided to adopt, and you decided to go through the adoption process. What did that look like for you? What was that decision like? And how was it waiting for that
Unknown:while we were still trying to have kids, we just we thought, Well, okay, maybe this, maybe this is not like Dave and I had already talked about adoption, actually, we thought our we would grow our family through adoption at some point. And so we were like, Okay, maybe that's what's happening. You know? It was one of those where, again, we were just like, trying to solve the problem. Like, okay, well, it's not working this way. Okay, never mind. We'll do this. And let me tell you, you can't just solve the problem. So we were like, right adoption, we started researching, and then we were, it was like we were chasing all of these paths of like, oh, there's a baby that was at the Children's Shelter, okay, this could be it. And then, you know, that door would close, or there's this waiting child in the Ukraine, and that door would close, and like, we were trying to scramble to get paperwork, and it felt like a scramble, scramble. And then we ended up getting pregnant, and so we put all of the adoption stuff on hold, and I felt really confused, because I was like, wait. I did like, I do feel like, even though it was frantic, God used that time to really open my eyes up to adoption and to all of the complicated layers of it, but then also the beauty of it, and also the need of kids here and abroad. And so after the boys were about a year and a half, I felt very strongly that it was time to start our adoption again. And I mean, we were like barely breathing, like surviving at this point, because the boys were only a year and a half, were old, and it was chaos. And so I didn't say anything to Dave, because I thought he would think I was crazy. And then Dave came home one day and was like, Hey, let's go for a walk, and we're on a walk. And he's like, Hey, I think we're supposed to start the adoption process again. I feel like we are. And I was like, I feel like we are too, but I didn't want to say it, because I didn't know, and I wanted us to both be on the same page. So this book felt very clearly we were called to adoption. And then the and I talk about the story in the book, it's kind of a long story, but it was God brought our daughter to us in a way that was like so clear, and he made it so so clear that she was our daughter through so many different like, very tangible things that happened, and I'm thankfully dude, because we were also stepping into huge spiritual battle at that point, and we knew it and we felt it, and so we needed to have clarity. We needed very clear discernment. We had a lot of people praying for discernment for us, making sure that we were on the right path, because this obviously, is a huge thing, but we also in that process, when we started the process with Sylvie, Sylvia's adoption. She was born in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and there was just a lot of turmoil, political instability, a lot of things happening, and she was very sick. And honestly, day to day, we did not know if she was even alive, much less she would be able to come home ever, because they put a halt on any adopted children leaving the country at one point. And so that process was again. It was like, oh. It was like what we had experienced with trying to have get pregnant times a billion because she was alive and and and met her and held her, and she was being, you know, held from us, essentially. Almost the only way I can describe it is that she was like being held ransom, but we couldn't pay the ransom. We couldn't get her, we couldn't get to her, and she was legally our daughter. She had her US visa, and she wasn't allowed to leave. And the US Embassy told us we could try to get her out of the country, but if we did and we were caught, we would go to prison for child trafficking, even though she was our daughter legally. And we were like, Yeah, that's not a good idea. Let's not do that. But we, we basically had everyone and anyone helping us, you know. We were talking to our senators, our congressmen and every you know, and we were just on our faces before the Lord during that season of like, lore, this and it, it like it was, it was truly impossible. I. Every day was just so hard because we again, didn't know if she was alive, if she every day she was in and out of the hospital, which hospital is kind of a generous term for where she was. Again, we got to the point where we had a dear friend. We came a dear friend over the course of those years. And she is an amazing woman. She's Congolese. Her husband had passed. She had six kids of her own, and she took Sylvie into her home for us. Got to the point where we talked to her and had prayed, and we basically were like, Okay, this is it. Like, I don't think she's ever coming home. We need you. You need her to live with you forever, like, we don't know, maybe someday, maybe 10 years from now, but in the meantime, we basically had a contingency plan of sending Sylvie to school and paying for her every month her needs, but not being able to get her home to us. And we got to that point, and then, like out of a complete only God miracle, there were about 700 kids that were stuck, and three were allowed to leave in July of 2014 which is when Sylvie came home and we got the news that she was allowed to leave because she had a medical visa, and she was on that medical list, and she was one of the top ones on the list just because of a Wait time. And I mean, there's, there was then this incredible Red Sea parting miracle, you know, all of the things. But then there was also the survivor's guilt of all the other kids that got left behind and the other families that were still waiting. And so there was, that was, there were so many layers to that whole process that we had, really, our faith was tested and refined and all the things, yeah. So that was, yeah, another season of just being like, Okay, Lord, we can't do on our own.
Joshua Johnson:Yeah? Talk about inscribing. Isaiah, 60, verse four, over the bed the paint and prayers with your paint pen. And what was the praying like with that. Why were you inscribing that? What does that look like for you?
Unknown:Well, it's something Dave and I have always done when we've renovated homes and or built our home together, we've always written verses on the walls and the floors before we paint or install flooring and on Sylvia and Sylvia's room, we just were moving into the farmhouse where we are now. And so Sylvie and I was pregnant at the time, which was a total surprise as well. Like that was another crazy God story. And I was like, what now? Why? So Charlotte and Sylvie were going to be sharing a room, and so over where Sylvia's bed was going to be, I inscribed, you know, your your daughters will be carried home. And I don't even know it was just, I just prayed for, you know, what verse didn't scribe, and it was Isaiah 64 and I wrote it on the wall, and then we, you know, painted, and I wrote it down in my journal. So I remember I and I always take pictures of what I write and where, so I know what verses are there, but kind of like that, I don't know. I just thought we would carry her home, like, okay, she's gonna be careful home. I kind of hold on to that as like a promise to us, but because of the way how quickly she was allowed to leave, and the fact that we didn't want to wait, because things can change very, very quickly, we wanted to get her out. When she was given permission to get out as fast as we could, and I was pregnant, or I had just had Charlotte now, so Charlotte was eight weeks old, and Dave's visa, he had just been over in February, so we thought his visa was fine, but it wasn't. It expired. So we ended up not having a way to get Sylvie home. We had to reapply for the visa and all of this. And so we actually asked Laura sylvie's foster mom if she would be able to get permission to bring Sylvie home, and we assumed the answer would be no, because they don't. We knew that the Congolese officials didn't want anyone that wasn't, you know, the the parent bringing kids home, so we thought the answer would be no and we would have to wait longer. And anyway, she was allowed to bring her because she got permission. And so literally, Sylvie was carried home by her foster mom, who we adored, and I mean, truly believes, actually very much so physically, say, tangibly, saved Sylvia's life, and she was able to stay with us for a week during that transition period, and was able to, like, help Sylvie just know that she was safe, because we had both been to visit and stayed with Laura, for Laura to come here and to she was kind of silly safe person at the time, and for her to be able to show her and be here with us, it was such A gift that you were it was beyond what we could have even prayed for on it was amazing, yeah,
Joshua Johnson:and then what she whispered to you and what she said to you a year later, yeah, it was a it was a tear jerker moment in your book. So what, what did? What was she able to say? You
Unknown:know, when she first came home, she was. So didn't speak any English, of course, and she had just she was incredibly traumatized. I know it was. Everybody always says how resilient kids are and they are, but when you've been through the things that she had been through very, very hard year when she came home for everyone, including our other kids, because our boys were only four, and then we had an eight week old when she came home. And so Sylvia was two and a half, and so a year later, we were starting to come up for air as a family. We were starting to feel like we could all breathe and not be kind of living in this like trauma. Every moment, everything was so stressful for that first year, year and a half, and we were in bed when laying in bed one night, getting in her bed every night, I had to lay with her. Once she finally moved to her own room, we would take turns, Dave and I, we'd have to lay in bed with her until she fell asleep. And we would always sing songs. And she wanted to sing, Jesus loves me. And she had the cutest little her voice was really raspy when she was little because she had a lot of airway issues, but it was so cute. And she was doing, was doing great at that point. She was healthy, so but it was just adorable. And this little French accent, oh, it was adorable. And she said, Mama, Jesus carried me home. And, I mean, it was the most profound thing. She was three and a half, and she said, Jesus carried me home, and I and I it like I couldn't even really process like or what to say back to her. And I was like, Yes, baby, yes, he did. And as I wrote it in my journal again, because I didn't want to forget exactly what she had said. And it's one of those, like faith, like a child, moments where she can see something so clearly. And I think for her, it was clear. I think he, I so believe I had prayed so many times that he would be near her, and that he would be tangible to her, and that she would feel his embrace. And I, I believe that he was there that whole time in very tangible ways for her when she was itty bitty, and for her to say that she doesn't remember it now. But I feel like that was one of those, like the veil is thin moments, and thankful that I wrote it down, because in the blur of, you know, with little kids in chaos, I could have forgotten that, and I did. That's one of those things I would never want to forget
Joshua Johnson:such a beautiful moment to see what God does, especially in the in the hearts of young people. They're, you know, three years old, so that he's, he's doing those things and she could tangibly feel that your work is restoration. Your spiritual metaphor is also restoration. Restoration is is who you are, and it's what you do, and it's what God does. What does it look like for you in not just in a home? Because I know that you do it in homes all the time, and you restore homes and make them beautiful, and they're great. I love it, but what does it look like to do it in in everyday life is bringing restoration into everyday life, into your life.
Unknown:Oh, I think for us, I for me, it's been a continue. I think it's a continual process. I don't think any, I don't think we're ever like, alright, I learned that lesson now I'm good. You know, I'm pulling your sword. It's just life. We're here on Earth, and we're broken and all the things. But, you know, I look at, I look at the the way that God has worked in my life, through hard walking, through hard things, and I see his hand so clearly in those hard seasons. And like we said with my daughter, like I think one of the most tangible examples of restoration is adoption. Because, yes, healing is lifelong. Because trauma is real. It's very real. And you know, when your your brain is forming until you're two years old. And so you're you're learning what love is. You're learning who you are in those first two years. And so when those connections are broken at an early age, they're very, very, very hard to restore. I mean, for example, if a baby's crying and they're not being held, you know your mom, your natural instruments as a mother, when your baby's crying is to pick your baby up, to feed it, to comfort her, him, and provide that comfort. And that's that connection is then formed for the baby in their brain, like cry, mom is going to pick me up, I'm going to get fed, I'm safe. And when that doesn't happen, that connection is broken in in that baby's brain, and the pathway is never formed properly. And so trying to heal those connections, the human brain is so complicated and so layered. And so trying to heal those pathways in the brain and trying to create connection with a child. Who is terrified of everyone and everything has been one of the hardest things I've ever done as a as a human and as a parent. So being able to watch like, just for example, when Sylvia first came home and was terrified, terrified of trees and grass like anything, like she would not go outside and step on the grass, because she'd only ever seen dirt, and she'd never seen grass, she'd never seen a tree. And one day she we, you know, we were, you know, going outside with the kids, and she walked out and she didn't have shoes on, and I tried to set her down. I was like, Hey, you want to play? And she freaked out and picked her feet up, but then she put her feet down, and and then she just started running, and we and then she, like, got on this, you know, one day she got on her bike. And it's like, all those little things that you almost take for granted just raising your biological kids. And we just have had this front row seat till just so many moments like that, so many, I mean, animals we live on farms, so the animals again, have been one of those things that was Sylvie was terrified, terrified of, and now we just put down our dog, Dolly. And I won't say what happened when Sylvia first came home, but her and Dolly did not have a good relationship at all, at all. Sylvie didn't like Dolly. Didn't want to be around. Dolly didn't didn't want her near. And Sylvie was the one who wanted to be holding dolly when we had to put her on and and carried her in the car and held her in the car, and laid with me that night before we knew we were going to the vet in the morning, and laid next to dolly with me. And that picture in the past. You know, that's 10 years or so, like is incredible what God has done and how he's healed, and not everything. It's a lifelong process. But I think that I I've never seen so many tangible examples of restoration in so visible, in such a visible way as I have through being an adoptive mom, I'm grateful because it's not I mean, we're doing a lot of hard work, but it's God doing the healing, and there's so many prayers that have have been poured into her life, and then also our other kids too, and seeing the way that they have learned. And and I speak back, it goes back to what we talked about the beginning. They've learned to be compassionate in a way that they would have been, well, I don't know, maybe I hope they would have been, but in a really deep, tangible way, because they know how people deal with things that are unseen. So a lot of times, we assume a disability is always visible, but it's not. And so they know that they've lived, that they've lived with that and through that, and so I think that it's helped them to have compassion on others. And we went to dinner recently with a colleague and his family, someone we work with, and his family. We never met his family, and he was like, I want to he called us ahead of time, and he's like, I just want to make sure you're, I prepare you guys, and you can talk to your kids, you know, ahead of time, because their son was is severely autistic. And I was like, Okay, no, absolutely this. Okay, well, make sure the kids are, you know, like, we'll prepare them. And, like, it wasn't even a thing, like, our kids were like, Oh yeah, he's obviously dealing with something. And it's they were just so kind. And they met him right where he was, and it was such a beautiful dinner. And I was like, You know what they and afterwards, I Dave, and I talked about, I'm like, I think they really do know how to understand that just because someone looks quote, unquote normal, that that doesn't mean they're carrying something heavy or hard, or their brain may not be functioning the way that everyone else's quote, unquote normal brains, and it's one of the hardest things for sure, like, isn't that easy? But it's also been really incredibly beautiful and and I'm so grateful for being able to, you know, parent, this wonderful person who's incredible.
Joshua Johnson:One of the things I really love in your book is when you hit a wall filming, or, you know, when things are really difficult and hard, when, hey, it's a season now, it's really hard, it's busy, it's difficult. God tells you, go with the strength you have, what does it look like for you? Just like, what does it look like when God says, go with the strength you have so that he can be strength for you?
Unknown:Yeah, I pray that a lot, especially lately, I love that story of Gideon to be like a I'm not cut out for the job. Lord. And like, God was there face to face, and he said, No, wow, but I love that God put that in the Bible for us, because it's like, okay, it's it's okay if I feel very ill equipped, and I am very tired and I don't want to do this, and I don't have the strength to do this, and it's okay. And I think. That for me it's just okay, one step, one small step at a time. So like on, for example, we found out the day we were I was getting ready in the morning. Dave took the kids to school for me because we had a we had a walk through. This was in April of this year. We had to walk through in the morning, side to get ready and do my hair and stuff, which takes forever. I mean, Dave just throws on a hat, you know, so it's quick. So he takes the kids to school in the morning, when we're when we're doing, you know, when we're filming. And I was getting ready, and my friend, our neighbor, Jill, called her, and her husband had gone to South Africa. They were there on vacation. And a place, it's a place that they love, that we love. It's an incredible connection thing. But anyway, she called and told me, and I thought it was odd that she was calling, so I answered. I was like, oh, what's going on? And, you know? And she told me that Bob had passed away the night before in his sleep, and her husband, and it was, he was basically like a uncle. I mean, my kids called him Uncle Bob. He was our neighbor, but we lived here now for, gosh, 14 years, and he's been, he's been a constant in our life. He's here for every holiday, all the things and so that. And then Dave came home that morning, you know, took the kids, and I had to tell Dave. And then the thing is, when we're filming, and especially when we're filming with homeowners, we have, there's a production schedule, and our producers, our camera crew, and our producer, was in town for this, and we had to film. And so we went, and we can't reschedule with the homeowners, because they actually were in town just for this walkthrough, because they didn't. They're not living here yet. So we had to go and film, and I had to, like, take breaks and just go sit in the garage and cry in between. Like, so those moments I'm like, Oh God, I can't do this. I really just can't do this. And those are the times I'm like, I need you to get me through this, mom. Like, not I'm not looking at my whole day. I'm looking at these next, this next, like we just have to walk through the living room. I need you to get me through, walking through the living room. And then I'll take a break, and I'll come back out here and Cry some more, and we'll talk again. And like he did. And so then I go, okay. I'm like, Okay, now we gotta do the kitchen. All right. I gotta, I have to listen. I have. Because the other thing is, okay in a normal job, I could go, even if I couldn't reschedule it, I could still go, and I could listen, and I could I could do the walk through, and I can do all the things. But the fact that the cameras were on and I know that someone's watch it, they're going to be like, Oh, Jenny looks really like, Oh, she doesn't look very nice this this morning. Like, what is wrong with her, because they're going to judge whatever faces I'm making, because I can't pretend to smile right now. And so I'm also having that narrative in my head as well, like there people are going to watch, they're going to think what's wrong with her, and they're not going to know what was really wrong with me that day. And so those moments, yeah, those are the moments that it's it's really hard, and there's been a lot of those kinds of moments, to be honest, especially because David had dementia, and so the past three years have been just like a constant grieving of something, you know, like, it's just been really, it's a very hard road. And so there's been so many times that we'd be driving to the job, to a house, and ball I'm crying in the car. And they're like, Okay, I'm like, All right, here we go. Okay, you know? And so those are the times it's like, okay, I need your strength, Lord, right now, right now for this, this next hour I got out, give me an hour, and then I will worry about the next hour. But I can't think about like, oh, this whole month, or this whole year. Can't think of it that way, because it's too overwhelming. And I know he meets me right then, and and I can, you know, one step at a time, little by little like to say that too.
Joshua Johnson:Wow, wow, wow. Thanks. But Jenny, think of think of your reader, and think of people who are going to pick up your book. Trust God and love people. What hope do you have for them?
Unknown:Oh, I hope that I can. It can be encouragement and to whomever, like whatever season they're in. You know that it can be an encouragement, I think that to remember who God is and remember the way he's been tangible and personal in your own story. Because I think at the end of the day, we all have a story, and I will say I questioned it so many times. Writing this book, like who wants to read this is just like my rambling about my life, and it's really writing it. I'm really wrote it for my kids. I want my kids to have these stories, but who else is going to care about this? And I think we all feel that way, like my who's my? Who am I? My story is not really that unique or different or important. I'm not doing any I'm literally just renovating homes. I'm not making you know, I'm not saving lives every year. But I hope that by me telling my story, it inspires people to realize that their story is important too. And all of those little, even as small as they may seem, those God moments that we have, like, no matter what, which ones they are, whether it's the, you know, when somebody started, like, not scared of grass, like, that's a God moment. And now you have the huge moments, but you also have the little ones, and just to recognize, remember them, honor them, be grateful for them and and really just again, love people out of the heart of compassion that you've received through your trust and of God and in his faithfulness.
Joshua Johnson:Couple quick questions at the end here. One, if you go back to your 21 year old self, what advice would you give?
Unknown:Oh, gosh, go home early. I always was a night owl. Nothing. We always nothing. Good happens after midnight. I would tell myself, just go home early, like your old self does.
Joshua Johnson:All right, good advice. Good advice. It's good anything you've been reading or watching lately you could recommend.
Unknown:Okay, I Well, I do love Heartland, if you're if you're mom with girls or boys, I know I just watch. It's one of the shows that Charlotte and I love. Charlotte loves horses, and it's just one of those shows that's just happy and I don't have to worry about what's going to happen. It's never inappropriate. And we we love it. All the other kids pretend that they don't love it. It's Charlotte and I really love it, but they pretend they don't, but they always come on the couch and end up watching it with us, because it's just a sweet story about a half like a family, and it's really good. So yeah, I would say that, yeah, heartland,
Joshua Johnson:trust God love people is available anywhere books are sold. So you can go and get this wonderful book. I love, I love your, your your ramblings of your story. And you know that's what you you just described it as, but it's a beautiful little book, and it's helpful for us to know that in your story and in our stories, that God is faithful and that he's going to be with us in the moments that are difficult and hard, and the incredible moments and the the happy moments as well, that he is there and he's present. We could trust him in the middle of it, and he's faithful, and we could love others well and compassionately. It's great little book. So well done. So people could go out and get that. Is there anywhere else that you'd like to point people to? How could they connect with you? Yeah.
Unknown:So, I mean, I think if you just I'm Instagram is the only place I'm really active. Jenny Mars, I can't keep up with everything else. But our new season for the show will air sometime in December, but I'll announce it there once I have a date. Yeah, that's the only other thing. Yeah.
Joshua Johnson:All right, excited, excited to go watch the new season of the show, like during Christmas, Christmas break. I'll just watch a bunch of it. It'll be good. And so, Jenny, thank you for this conversation. I really, really enjoyed talking to you. So thank you so much. Thank you. You you.
