MY NEW NORM Podcast- S5 E1 / CECILIA DE LOS SANTOS / RESILIENCE

MY NEW NORM Podcast- S5 E1
Guest: Cecilia De Los Santos
Episode: Resilience

Host: BARRY SCOTT YOUNG
Produced by BEARANOOGA PRODUCTIONS

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We all have our own stories of change and challenges, and it is my hope these episodes will provide encouragement. I hope you will listen and will then share this podcast with others.

What if you were faced with life-altering health challenges and the responsibility of caring for your aging parents at the same time? In this episode, we bring you the inspiring story of Cecilia de los Santos, whose journey from San Antonio to Colorado is a testament to resilience and adaptability. Cecilia's career transitions, from managing a t-shirt shop to taking on a demanding role at the Summit County Sheriff's Office, showcase her ability to thrive in ever-changing environments.

Cecilia's story takes a profound turn with her battle against a life-threatening tumor and the subsequent chronic illnesses that followed. She provides a raw account of her daily struggles, managing panhypopituitarism and secondary adrenal insufficiency, and the strict regimen of steroids that keep her alive. Her experience highlights the resilience required to navigate the complexities of chronic illness and the relentless will to adapt and survive.

But Cecilia's journey doesn't end there. She shares the emotional and physical demands of moving back home in 2018 to care for her elderly parents, despite losing a significant portion of her vision. Her candid reflections on the challenges of caregiving, from medical advocacy to dealing with dementia, offer invaluable insights and encouragement. In her path to self-care and finding new creative outlets after the loss of her parents, Cecilia exemplifies the strength and grace needed to embrace life's transitions. Join us for a heartfelt conversation that underscores the importance of resilience and self-care.

Resilience-
Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.

Cecilia’s Personal Blog:
https://ceciliaofthesaints.com/

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Transcript

Barry Scott YoungHost

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00:03
This is the my New Norm podcast and I'm your host, Barry Scott Young. Welcome to Season 5.  The story in this episode is all about resilience, and what a story it is. Remember to follow, listen and share this episode with those you know. Thanks again for your interest and your support. 

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00:51
Emergency room doctor walks in as he's about to walk out, he stops and then he comes back and he looks at me and I'm just looking at him like what? And he goes. I know that you're overwhelmed. I know you're very overwhelmed right now, but you're doing a good job. And then he walked out. I'm like what doctor is gonna say that? You know, I was just like I don't know you, you don't know me. From that point on, that's what it was. You know the caregiving was top spot of my top jobs because it was. You had to put yourself aside. I am not the daughter right now. There were times when she didn't know who I was towards the end, but I knew the Lord was telling me something's up. My name is Cecilia de los Santos and this is my story. 

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02:05
Well, hello, we're talking to Cecilia de los Santos. How are you doing today? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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02:12
I'm doing great, Barry. How are you? 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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02:14
Doing great. We met each other, I think San Antonio 1990, 91. Is that correct? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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02:22
Well, that's why I asked you that question 1991. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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02:27
Is that correct? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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02:27
Well, that's why I asked you that question because I couldn't remember. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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02:37
I'm like. So when did this happen? It was around the 1990, 1991, and you were in the college group at Trinity Church. We lost contact, but I'll tell you, when we reconnected recently, I was absolutely amazed of your story, the things you went through, the things you encountered, and I couldn't help but think of this word. When I think of you, I thought of resilience. It's that word that means one has the ability to adjust or recover, readiness from illness, adversary, major life changes. That's what I think about when I think of you. And the other is whack-a-mole. When you go to the carnival and you play whack-a-mole, I think of you. You know your little head's popping up. Go ahead, try to hit me again. I'm coming back. So I am so pleased that you're here today. Where do you want to start with your story? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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03:38
I mean I can start in San Antonio, of course. Born and raised, got involved in the youth group, doesn't really start until I left San Antonio. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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03:48
What year was that? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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03:48
1998. As a matter of fact, it's this week, 1998, when I left Colorado. I'm going to say it was on the 28th or the 29th, wow, so not knowing. And I moved, you know, moved to Colorado on a whim. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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04:09
Why Colorado? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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04:10
Well, it's funny because I had a friend of mine, a really close friend of mine, that moved there and she kept telling me about it. She was like, hey, you know why don't you come check out? You know Colorado, and blah, blah, blah. And I never really heard of Dillon, Colorado, that's where she was living, up in Summit County, up in the ski resorts, Breckenridge, Keystone, A-Basin, you know all that Anyway. So we went, friends of mine, we went in April and we're like, okay, well, let's go on vacation, let's go check it out. 

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04:43
So we went for snow and I'm like snowboarding, never done that before in my life, but I took to it. So, while on vacation, quote unquote ended up getting a job, finding a job, me and my friend. We found a place to live. Well, she already had an apartment, so I basically just had to move in. And so, yeah, and that was so out of character for me, so moved to Colorado. Totally, you know, culture shock. I was the minority and there's snow on the ground. You know. Well, at the time when I moved there, it was just about summertime. So it was fine, I took to Colorado. I was only going to be there a year. Well, 20 years later, you know, 20 years 20 years what did you do? 

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05:34
Well, it's funny. In the beginning I worked at a t-shirt shop which is like on main street, a touristy you know. You know, souvenir t-shirt shop managed that for a little bit. Then I got into property management short-term, long-term rentals and then in 2006, I got a. I saw an ad in the paper for a civil clerk at the Summit County Sheriff's office. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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06:00
Wow. 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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06:01
And I was like, yeah, that was my response. I was like, wow. So something inside of me just said do it, go apply. I'm just like, okay, I don't even know what a civil clerk is, you know, didn't know what that was, page application. You're writing a dissertation on your life. I mean, you got to go through all these hoops. 

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06:30
Long short of it, I get a job at the sheriff's office. So I learned very quickly what a civil clerk is At the start of that job. I went into that job, naive about a lot of things, about humanity, about people, about a lot In that environment. That definitely, and I have to say that was one of the top jobs that I ever had. I stayed there for 11 years, got into records management, so working closely with the other law enforcement agencies in the county, working in the jail. But yeah, I would have to go down there from time to time. 

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07:12
I wore many hats, so many different kinds of hats there. It's not even funny, but I loved it. I loved it. It pushed me, it challenged me, it made me like people some days, and then not like people some days, because I dealt with the you know, managed and monitored the registered sex offenders in our jurisdiction. Oh my, the Colorado Bureau of Investigation. I was kind of a liaison between the agency and CBI, fbi. You know you've got so many people to answer to along the lines of your own supervisors, you know. But that was a great job. Again, it pushed me, it changed me. I think that's when you said resilience. I was. You had to be resilient in that job. You had to have thick skin. You sometimes had to act out of your. My personality definitely changed. I remember one of the patrol sergeants would call me Captain Mino. 

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08:22
Mino would call me Captain Mino. My boss, my sheriff would call me D-Lo. So I was D-Lo when I was there. So, yeah, d-lo had her own little persona there, but it was. It was one of the like I said. It taught me a lot. 

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08:38
I learned a lot of lessons in that job about life, about myself. Lessons in that job, about life, about myself, about myself. A lot Learned, a lot of lessons. Failed a lot but you know, would get called out. But it was great that the relationship that I had with my superiors was one of trust. You know, I welcomed, yes, the criticism hurt, but I welcomed it because it made me better. You know, sometimes we were scared of any feedback. We're scared of being criticized and you know, sometimes it's valid, sometimes it's not. But you take what you know, you own it, you own what you know belongs to you. I think that job taught me that. Just own up to it. Yes, I messed up. Let me pick myself up, get out of your office now and, you know, move on to the next thing. But that job taught me a lot and in the midst of that that's when I started my health journey that kind of came out of the blue kind of came out of the blue. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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09:53
So you're working with sex offenders in the jail, and so now you're transitioning into a health event. Where were you? What were you thinking? And give us just a little piece of your mental state. 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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10:04
Well, I had just started a job, so it was just a year into the sheriff's office. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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10:09
Okay 2007. 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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10:11
All of a sudden, you know, I had been working out, going to the gym at six o'clock in the morning, walking to the gym because it was walking distance from my apartment to where the sheriff's office and the gym was. Work out in the mornings and go to work. Then suddenly, you know having these headaches. Then suddenly, my energy level went from a hundred to zero, like overnight. It was the strangest thing. I got out of the blue and I was never one to be sick, you know. 

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10:40
So, yeah, I go to the doc, my primary doctor, we go through all the motions, everything looks good. I'm thinking, well, I'll to the doc, my primary doctor, we go through all the motions, everything looks good. I'm thinking, well, I just need like a pill, a vitamin, or yeah, something, something, very simple A Red Bull Let me just go buy something, a little happy pill, and I'll be fine. 

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10:56
Yeah, then he pushed me, he really encouraged me. Hey, here's this business card for a neurologist. You need to call them. As I'm walking back to the office, you know, I have that card in my hand and something literally tells me stop, call now. I'm literally fighting with myself no, I ain't got time for this right now Again, stop. And I can see myself right now where I was in front of the UPS store strip mall and I stop. And I can see myself right now where I was in front of the UPS store strip mall and I stop. And I call again, going through the motions go meet the neurologist, they do MRIs, all this and that October of 2007. 

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11:36
Go to the office and I'm literally it's a little small office in Vail, colorado sitting there. He's pointing to his computer monitor and he was like you see this little, you see the thing right here. I'm like, yeah, it didn't look big on the screen, you know. I'm just like yeah, and he's like well, you got a pituitary tumor. It's kind of embedded itself underneath, you know, it's kind of attached to your brain and partly in the, it looks like in your pituitary gland, so kind of like I'm talking to you right now. That was kind of like all right, so what are we going to do? Take it out? Yeah, so they're explaining. Yeah, we're just going to go in with the long tube like a vacuum, we're going to shrink it and then suction it out, bada, bing, bada, boom, see you later, bye. Okay, cool, the way he explained it. It sounded great. I'm like okay, I'll be out of there. You know I'll be outpatient, all this stuff. 

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12:37
Well, december 2007 is when I had the surgery, so went in on the 10th of December. I do remember that date. As far as what, I was thinking kind of like now, okay, let's just go in and take it out so I can move on with my life. That's kind of how I approached it At that point in time. I was like I'm going to. I still wasn't really grasping it Okay, let's go to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, yes, I got scared Because then I was like okay, I'm in the hospital and they're going to go. 

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13:09
Basically, they were going to go in through my nose, my nasal cavity, to get to the tumor. So it seemed fairly simple, cut and dry In the middle of the surgery, of them doing that. Apparently I had a spinal fluid leak and they're like oh, we got to get out of here, we got to address this leak and then we'll come back to the tumor. So when I woke up, there was literally a waterfall coming out of my nose and I had all this gauze underneath my nose and I'm like what's going on? My boyfriend at the time is calling my family, saying, yeah, they want me to call you because you know this is going on. My parents, who had never flown before in their entire lives, never been to Colorado, never been out of San Antonio, you know, out of Texas so, yeah, my parents end up showing up. 

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14:01
Okay, now things are getting serious and the tumor is still there and it's further down. Lost track of time, but eventually they had to go in through my head. So I got a cut from ear to ear along the front of my hairline. They had to go in, take a part of my skull out to be able to get down in there, kind of like a roadmap of how to get down there. So they got to the tumor, took it out non-cancerous. It damaged my pituitary gland and where the tumor was sitting was on my optic chiasm, where the two optic nerves intersect, my optic chiasm, where the two optic nerves intersect. So he, the doctor, had to move, the surgeon had to move my nerves out of the way in order to get to the tumor. So, with that being said, they put me back together. Frankenstein, luckily I didn't see myself, I didn't look, I wasn't able to see myself for quite a while, but apparently my head head's a tuge. But yeah, so in the midst of that long short of it, I'm thinking okay, they took the tumor out. 

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15:08
So now I have what they call panhypopituitarism, because my pituitary gland doesn't function. So your pituitary gland is kind of your control center that controls your hormones. It's kind of your control center that controls your hormones. It signals to your adrenal glands. That's where the big part of this is. I have what they call secondary adrenal insufficiency. So that pumps out your sodium, your potassium. Your blood controls your blood sugar, blood pressure. Your blood controls your blood sugar, blood pressure and that amazing hormone that we each have, the stress hormone, cortisol, the fight or flight concept. 

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15:49
When you're in a stressful situation, you know that adrenaline kicks in and helps you to deal with whatever you're dealing with at that moment. Well, I'm having to mimic that with steroids. So I'm steroid dependent. Hands down steroids keep me alive. So I take X amount of steroids daily, like you put gas in your car, you know how much gas you need in your car for the week, or what have you. So I take X amount of steroids every four hours to be able to function in a day. If anything, any undue stress interferes with that, any undue stress of any nature, I can go get a massage and I have to compensate for that. If I get sick, then I have to double up. I had COVID, so talk about tripling my dosage. I had COVID, so talk about tripling my dosage. 

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16:47
I have an emergency kit on me at all times that has liquid steroid in it In the event which I've had, several, quite a few what they call an adrenal crisis. So if I encounter a situation that's highly stressful, or I'm sick or something happens and I'm not prepared, then I can just pass out Non, you know, unresponsive. I need that shot, even if I recognize it, which I've had before, if I've recognized it on time and I'm trying to give myself a shot intramuscular so I can come back, you know, because I know, okay, I'm starting to fade, and it's happened before where I've been not fast enough and it's been EMT guys that have had to inject me, or they, more times than not, they don't know what to do, even though I have my medical ID bracelet. So I've run into situations like that. But time is of the essence, in other words, if a situation like that arises, what happens to you when you're low in energy like that? 

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17:50
I can feel it. I can only describe it like maybe what a diabetic feels like when their blood sugar is going low. I can feel when I'm getting low on my cortisol because I want to try to avoid taking extra steroids at all costs, because steroids, long-term use, tear down the muscles in your body. There's a lot of side effects to steroids and I'm reaping the effects of that. I just had surgery 12 weeks ago and it's still slow moving the recovery process is slow because I have my disease, the steroids. 

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18:35
It slows everything down in general. So, yes, I can feel it Kind of like you're walking in the clouds, you're lethargic mentally and physically, so I won't even recognize it because I'm already so far gone. Yeah, all of that to say that it's a daily management of this disease. But he carried me through because talk about stress in my job it almost cost me my life because my health was just deteriorating so were you taking more steroids in the process to keep a very normal life at work? 

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19:12
oh yes, way high amount, a high amount that my doctors were like you should not be doing this. I'm like, well, this is the only way I can function in a full time job. You know, 40 plus hours a week, I was dying, and on the weekends I was just, it was recovery mode, I was in bed. You know, like I said, it was just like a hamster in a wheel. I think I was trying to prove to myself I can do this. So I continued on until about the beginning of 2017. In January, I was passing out at work, having heart issues. I was on oxygen at night, I had an oxygen tank 46 years old, you know. So all of this and it just came to a head and I finally was like all right, I'm gonna have to resign. So I resigned in 2017. 

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20:14
Now, what family you need to move back? Because it was all about me. Those 20 years was all about me. Those 20 years was all about me and no kids, nothing. And I was happy with that. Until 2018 March I came. I would come visit mom and dad and my family once or twice a year, summertime, still close to my family. But in 2018, that came for my mom's birthday and something told me you're going to move back and you're going to take care of mom and dad. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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20:48
What kind of health were they in? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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20:50
Well, my dad was fine. What's funny thing is, my mom was having health issues. She had them off and on, but in 2014, that's when things got really serious and we almost lost her. They were going to go in to look at the stints in her heart, so that's all they were doing. But they went in through her left arm to kind of get an idea of what the stints were looking like. They something went way wrong and they almost lost her on the table. So, yeah, fast forward to 2018. She was, she was home. You know, mom and dad had always taken care of each other. So, right, you know, my dad was, was, was here, but something told me you're gonna come home, you're gonna take care of mom and dad, and that's all I knew. So I'm like, okay, didn't say anything until I got back to Colorado. You need to get me to Colorado because in the middle of that surgery, because of my optic nerves being moved, I lost a good chunk of my vision. 

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21:53
So I'm partially blind. I have no peripheral vision. I lost half of my central, so I have one good eye along the bridge of my nose. So imagine just one eye in the middle where my nose is. That's my vision. So tunnel vision can't drive, so yeah. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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22:13
So your mom and dad's health or at least your mom at the time was deteriorating, and so you meet up at the house. Your whole life's different, or will be. You've been thinking about yourself all these years, and now it's caregiving for your parents. What was that like? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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22:37
Well, when I got here my mom was still. She was on a walker, a rollator, so she was pretty mobile, for the best, for the most part. Yeah, dad, mobile, you know, they were business as usual. I think it was more like the adjustment in the beginning. I don't want to disrespect their space, invade their space or try to change anything, and I didn't, it's not in the beginning. So it was just kind of like gradually getting back into the swing of things like what does this mean? 

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23:12
I had no idea what the caregiving thing meant. Getting involved in their medical, with their doctors. I became very much their emergency contact. I was their advocate when they wouldn't speak up or didn't know what to ask. I was their voice, you know, with all their doctors, with their health prescriptions. I mean I became a doctor, nurse, bookkeeper, secretary, I mean I just everything. Which was fine because I remembered, I've always been a multitasker. I've always prided myself on my work ethic, which I learned from my dad and my mom and my brothers, my sister, all of us. We work hard, very strong work ethic. 

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24:04
One time I remember being in the emergency room with her and it was, I think it was around May, a couple of years ago she was literally flopping around like a fish Because she had a movement disorder that they hadn't diagnosed her with. I'm just worn out, I'm tired, beyond tired, sure, and she's. We're there and she's just not in a good place. She's not not knowing what's going on. But I'm watching this emergency room Doctor walks in and I'm talking to him, telling him. Then he, as he's about to walk out, he stops and then he comes back and he looks at me and I'm just looking at him like what you know, what did you forget? And he goes I know that you're overwhelmed, I know you're very overwhelmed right now, but you're doing a good job. And then he walked out. I'm like what doctor is going to say that? You know, I was just like. I don't know you, you don't know me, but you know he said that. From that point on, that's what it was. Um, talk about the sheriff's office being tough. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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25:22
Yeah. 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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25:24
Toughing me up. No, you know, the caregiving was top spot of my top jobs, because it was. You had to put yourself aside. I am not the daughter right now. Some moments, you know, I was the mean one. I was Captain Mino in my mom's eyes. Some days I was the angel. Some days I was the devil. There were times when she didn't know who I was towards the end. But yeah, it was a journey. But it was always mom. It was always something with mom. 

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26:04
Then, out of the blue, in the, in the summer of 2022, my dad started showing signs of you know, something's up. But my dad was an introvert. He kept his feelings to himself. You could ask him questions. He wasn't going to answer you unless he wanted you to know the strong, silent type he wasn't going to share. 

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26:30
But I knew the Lord was telling me something's up. So I'm getting on the horn with this doctor, getting in their face. You need to come evaluate my dad. I felt a sense of urgency Again, that urgency like that fire inside of me saying I'm not stopping. This has to be done. So I was hounding them. They would come, they evaluated them and then they were like okay, well, we can't put him on hospice because it was getting that serious physically. He still wasn't complaining, still wasn't saying anything, but he was just sleeping all the time. He was more lethargic than usual. Just out of the life was just coming out of him. So in the middle of dad, I still have mom to deal with because mom had been on hospice for two and a half years. So this is going on. Mom is on hospice, I'm taking care of her. She's in a wheelchair. So my, my job was to be Wonder Woman physically, mentally, everything. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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27:39
And I was You're still monitoring your condition with stresses and trying to be strong so you can be strong. 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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27:50
Oh Lord. So, Barry,  there's no other way. You cannot try to understand how to manage a disease that stress can literally kill you. And then you're a caregiver to your elderly parents dealing with their situation my mom having dementia on top of being on hospice, on top of being wheelchair bound, and I'm trying to keep the house moving, trying to keep me moving. So when I would get those instances where I'm going to die, I would run to my room, take the tablets. God help me. Every morning waking up at 5 o'clock in the morning, god help me, because once 6 o'clock hits, when mom wakes up, it's on Game on, so there's no messing around. Once six o'clock hits, when mom wakes up, it's on Game on, so there's no messing around. So, yeah, taking my steroids extra because I had to. 

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28:52
So, yeah, so, dad, it got to the point where, like, okay, they finally put him on hospice. He lasted two weeks. He passed on the 26th of November here at the house, and that was one thing. That was what they wanted to stay home, they wanted to be in their home, right, and that was to make everything possible. We were going to make everything possible for that to stay that way, which is why I said I need to sacrifice what I, what I want to do. That's gonna have to wait. My health is gonna have to wait, because it's mom and dad. 

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29:37
So, dad, I got very hands-on with dad. I never had to mom, I was hands-on in every aspect. Dad, I never had to. Mom, I was hands on in every aspect. Dad, I never had to, until that point because they found out he was bleeding to death. So I was having to clean him, you know, and it was like wow. But it was like in the middle of that I was still talking to dad, joking with him, even though he wasn't really talking. But we had that moment, we had that bond that we had never had that type of bonding before. But we did and I did it, and so he passed here, thankfully in peace. He never complained nothing. And then, okay, so now it's me and mom. How is that going to work? You know, mom and dad married 67 years. 

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30:33
How is that going to play out? And she was good. I tell you what. I think I get my resilience from my mom my mom, you could throw stuff at that lady and she would come back feistier than ever. She was obviously a born again Christian. So, yeah, she had her faith. She never wavered from her faith. So that was a true testament to her. So not only her physical, what how she is, her personality in general, that's how she was. She was going to make a way one way or another. She had a lot of pride. She didn't like asking for help because she was like I can do this. So I got that from her. I'm going to blame her for that that from her. 

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31:26
I'm going to blame her for that being stubborn and all that, but that's what kept her for so long and, by the grace of God, even though towards the end there after dad left, then it got a little. It got. That was a game changer because the dementia really kicked in more. But I didn't know. That's what I knew. She had dementia, but I didn't know what dementia was. Nobody told me, nobody told me. 

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31:50
So it was kind of like she would say things or do things and I would be texting her nurse. So do I just go along with this? Because something's telling me, just to go along, I would learn. I would learn the hard way. Don't argue, don't ask questions, redirect. So I begin to learn. Okay, just redirect. 

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32:11
Whatever I had to do to deescalate the situation, because it was tough to watch at times. She was bed bound towards the end because she fell in the house, headbound towards the end because she fell in the house. And that was the one time I didn't catch her. All the other times I was there. I could catch her on time because I would be the one to transfer her from the wheelchair to wherever she needed to be. Whatever she needed to do physically. I was there because I had to work. I was working out here at home strength training because I'm thinking, ok, I need to keep myself in check physically so I can, you know, handle them. So that came in, that came in handy. 

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32:53
But, yeah, mom, luckily she was small, but she was heavy. She fell, she fractured her hip. So from august until she passed on september 4th of 2023, yeah, that that was tough. But again I I asked the lord please, please, take her in her sleep where she's not in any pain. And I asked that for my dad as well. Thankfully that happened. Me and my sister were by his side when he took his last breaths, his last four breaths. We were there. My mom and I saw her last breath. She looked so peaceful and she almost literally it looked like she had a like, a kind of like a smirk, like a smirk on her face, like a little smile. She looked like she was at peace. 

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33:55
Well then, now it's like okay, all right, what do I want to be when I grew up? Now I have to take care of. You know the house is empty. You know I have no doctors to call, nobody to take care of. In general, I'm just like okay. So I guess it's me now. Now, like I said, it's like okay, I'm taking care of me now, catching up on what I had been putting on the back burner these past five and a half years, six years. I'm just kind of taking it one day at a time. It's been amazing. It's been an amazing journey that I still have more to go. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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34:36
What is the hardest thing about transitioning to helping others and now helping yourself? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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34:45
Well, it's funny because I think it's after mom passed and I still haven't really processed a lot of that. Right, if I'm honest with myself, even dad, I haven't really processed a lot of that. But after mom passed, even like now, getting back into working because I am working for helping our seniors, funny enough, I didn't know about helping. I didn't start working at helping our seniors until after my dad passed. Start working at helping our seniors until after my dad passed. I found out about them through my mom's hospice nurse when my dad was declining, like towards the end there. When he got on hospice I had to wave the white flag and then got found out about helping our seniors. A caregiver came, helped me with dad well, helped me watch mom while I took care of dad. It was more like it. So that's how helping our seniors came into play. 

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35:46
I work from home primarily, and I go to the office two days a week Thursdays and Fridays. So at this point I'm asking the Lord now, what is my purpose? I'm going to continue on with helping our seniors because he placed that in my path for a reason, right? So helping, that's my. It's like an outlet for me. I also have my blog site which I'm going to, a shameless plug. 

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36:13
Oh, please, if I may wwwceciliaofthesaintscom, but no, so that the writings. I've just now started getting back into the writings because I had a block there. I had, and I still have, a little bit of a block, but I'm busting, you know, slowly tearing it down, but that's an outlet. After mom passed and dad, I suddenly have become tapped into some like creative mode. I started painting and I don't paint. I don't know how. I wish I was Bob Ross, but I'm not. 

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36:54
But, but that urge to to feed into creativity has come on like strong. So I've been drawing, I've been painting, I've been writing. I'm like, lord, what do you want me to do? Even at this moment, like career wise, I would love to stay at, be able to stay at home, work from home, doing the data entry, administrative, whatever. But it's like I'm fishing now. I'm like, okay, lord, I'm gonna go fishing for a little bit and see if I get any bites on. What do you want me to do? So, yes, it's trying to, to change my focus and not to feel guilty. Not to feel guilty that I'm not taking care of somebody like mom and dad, but that I'm actually putting the focus on me so I can be healthy and whole, to be prepared for what he has. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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37:53
Yeah, well said. Well, I know that there are listeners listening to this episode that could really relate to your story. Maybe they're in the middle of caregiving, or maybe they are facing challenges with an unexpected medical event, or maybe they're dealing with stresses that interfere with their health A number of reasons and a number of situations that those listening may be facing today. Cecilia, what would you say to them? 

Cecilia De Los SantosGuest

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38:44
As far as my journey right now, I think I have found encouragement through obviously now you know my walk with Christ, which I've always had in my heart, which I've always had in my heart, even when I wasn't being obedient to what I knew, that God was telling me what to do. But during those difficult times, especially right now, even you know, being a caregiver to my parents, and even after that journey and starting this new journey on my own and getting my health in order, I have found encouragement with, even more so, spending time in silence. I used to be afraid of the silence. I would always have to have noise, always have to have the TV on or have music on. But now I find myself there's those times when I just have complete silence and I'm just alone with my thoughts, and that's been encouraging because then I'm able to hear more of what I feel the Lord is telling me what to do, of what I feel the Lord is telling me what to do. I'm trying let me rephrase that I'm trying to be more open to listening to what he's trying to tell me. I have found encouragement in I mentioned earlier in journaling writing your feelings out. Don't keep them pent up inside If you can't talk to somebody which I would highly recommend talking to somebody that you can confide in, somebody that you trust, whether it's at church or wherever you feel you need that help seek out those resources with your physician's office. 

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40:42
They can definitely guide your insurance company. I mean, you can definitely ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask questions for whatever you're feeling you need to ask. There's definitely a lot of resources and I do want to touch on caregivers who are out there that are taking care of their loved ones. Seek out resources with the physician's office where your loved one is a patient or your physician's office. They will have a caregiver support groups. A lot of them are called caregiver SOS in their community websites everywhere. They are out there and I am learning of these and I can look back hindsight and wish I only would have known or would have thought of these ideas, but at the time I was so focused on what was in front of me I couldn't see beyond that and I just implore you to do that. 

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41:46
Seek out resources, seek out somebody to speak, to write down your thoughts, your frustrations, your prayers, your aggravations, whatever. As long as you get those emotions out on paper or talking to somebody. That's very important. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to not have all the answers. It's okay to admit that you're tired and you're frustrated and you're just overwhelmed. That's okay to admit that, that's healthy, to admit that there are people that can help you, that can guide you through the steps of wherever you're at, in your walk, as a caregiver or just in general, if you're going through health issues. 

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42:37
Again, seek out support groups I mentioned. I have found support groups on Facebook, of all places that I have been a member of for the past 10 years that continue to assist me and help me sort out details and questions that I have for my physicians, or we talk about things that I could bring to my physician's attention. But it's all about not being afraid. Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself and admit I need help or I'm not perfect and it's okay. Admit that, the more that you admit that you're not perfect and it's okay, then that's the healing. 

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43:20
The healing is going to come not only on the inside but on the outside, because then you can start healing yourself mentally, spiritually and physically, which I am in the midst. That is my journey right now and I feel like I need to read real quick, second Corinthians, 12, 9 through 11. And he said to me my grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, most gladly, I will rather boast in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities and reproaches and needs and persecutions and distresses for Christ's sake, for when I am weak, then I am strong. I'm beginning to see, and the Lord is revealing things to me, like it's okay, one step at a time, one day at a time, I'm going to get through to the other side. 

Barry Scott YoungHost

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44:27
We all have a story, and that story is to encourage and inspire others. Don't isolate yourself. 

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44:51
Cece, thank you for sharing your story today. 

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44:55
 Thank you in advance for your support and interest in this podcast Until the next episode. This is the my New Norm podcast. It's all about real people and real stories!

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45:14
host, Barry Scott Young

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45:15
Thank you so much.