The Shocking Truth: 8 Hours of Training Is All Doctors Get on Menopause

Shattering taboos and exposing medical blind spots, this deeply personal exploration of perimenopause and menopause reveals truths that will validate the experiences of countless women struggling in silence.

Amita Sharma, founder of Nourish Doc, shares a shocking revelation from her research interviewing thousands of experts worldwide: OB-GYNs receive virtually no education about perimenopause in medical school, with just eight hours devoted to menopause during fifteen years of studying female physiology. No wonder so many women find themselves misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety when their hormones begin shifting.

The conversation delves into the profound physical transformations that receive little attention in mainstream discussions. "Your gut microbiome changes, your brain changes," Sharma explains. "You are fundamentally a different person." These changes extend far beyond hot flashes, affecting everything from cognitive function to weight distribution, yet most women navigate this territory without maps or guides.

Most powerfully, Sharma courageously shares her personal awakening during perimenopause – how decades of emotional suppression and people-pleasing suddenly demanded expression. "I was angry at myself for not allowing myself to express, for trying to please other people and not myself," she reveals. This emotional reckoning, while challenging, ultimately led to greater authenticity and self-compassion.

The discussion illuminates how these transitions often spark relationship difficulties, with data suggesting 60% of women experience partnership challenges during this time. Difficult but necessary conversations about changing libido, emotional needs, and personal boundaries emerge as women reconnect with their authentic voices.

Ready to understand your body's transitions with greater clarity and compassion? Visit nourishdoc.com to explore expert-driven resources designed specifically for women navigating perimenopause, menopause, and beyond. Your journey deserves validation, support, and the wisdom of others who truly understand.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Lift One Self Podcast
• 0:35 Meeting Amita Sharma of Nourish Doc
• 1:29 Mindful Moment Meditation Practice
• 3:42 Understanding Perimenopause and Its Impact
• 5:00 Medical Knowledge Gaps and Research Limitations
• 8:04 Fundamental Bodily Changes During Transitions
• 10:42 Emotional Suppression and Relationship Impact
• 15:22 Personal Journey of Self-Discovery
• 22:41 Resources and Support Through Nourish Doc
• 24:32 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast, where we break mental health stigmas through conversations. I'm your host, nat Nat, and we dive into topics about trauma and how it impacts the nervous system. Yet we don't just leave you there. We share insights and tools of self-care, meditation and growth that help you be curious about your own biology. Your presence matters. Please like and subscribe to our podcast. Help our community grow. Let's get into this. Oh, and please remember to be kind to yourself. Welcome to the Lift One Self podcast. I'm your host, nat Nat, and today this is for the ladies and gentlemen also because you need to support. We're going to be getting into the conversation of perimenopause and menopause and some of the taboos that you've heard, some of the misconceptions, and also be validated with your experiences that you might get some. Oh, it makes sense. My guest today is Amita, and, amita, could you introduce yourself to myself and the listeners so we can get to know who you are?

Speaker 2: 1:09

Yeah, yeah, my name is Amita Sharma and I am founder of a company called Nourish Dog. The idea behind this is really making a global holistic wellness platform for help women navigate from perimenopause, menopause and beyond. So here I am, in front of you.

Speaker 1: 1:29

So, before we get in the conversation, are you willing to do a mindful moment with me?

Speaker 2: 1:36

Yeah, I would love that.

Speaker 1: 1:37

Okay, and for the listeners, as you always hear my safety spiel when I asked to close the eyes, if you're driving or need your visual, please do not close your eyes. Yet the other prompts you're able to follow. So, amita, I'll ask you to get comfortable in your seating and, if it's safe to do so, you're going to gently close your eyes and you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose and you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out. You're not going to try and control your breath or the rhythm of it. You're just going to observe it, allowing it to guide you into your body.

Speaker 1: 2:17

There may be some sensations or feelings coming up, and that's okay, let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go. Surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be, be with your breath, drop deeper into your body. There may be some thoughts or to-do lists that have popped up in your mind, and that's okay. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath, creating space between the awareness and the thoughts and dropping deeper into your body, allowing yourself to just be. Again, more thoughts may have popped up. Gently, bring your awareness back to your breath, beginning again, creating even more space between the awareness and the thoughts and dropping deeper into your body, allowing yourself to just be, be with the breath. Now, at your own time and at your own pace, you're going to gently open your eyes while still staying with your breath. How's your heart doing?

Speaker 2: 3:54

Great, I'm relaxed.

Speaker 1: 3:57

So can you explain to some of the listeners what perimenopause is?

Speaker 2: 4:02

Yeah. So you know, a lot of us don't even know this term, perimenopause. So perimenopause is a transition years for women before they hit the menopause. So it's basically it's not one switch that happens. Most of us think, oh, menopause, my periods are off, fine. But the body starts preparing yourself for this transition. Could be 10 years, could be four years, could be more. In my case, I started doing perimenopause, started suffering perimenopause when I was 40. And so your body is slowly, slowly preparing you before you hit the off button of menopause. And that perimenopause is the transition years before you hit menopause.

Speaker 1: 4:51

What did you learn in your experience? What were some of the symptoms that you had no idea and that when, with your research, you discovered?

Speaker 2: 5:00

Yeah, so I am not a medical doctor, but big disclaimer. What I have done is that I have interviewed over 3000 or 4000 of holistic experts, integrative medicine experts, from all over the world, and we've done a lot of in depth research on perimenopause, menopause, postmenopause. So one of the things, what I discovered and I interviewed a lot of gynecologists is that OBGYNs are not taught about perimenopause in medical schools. That is the biggest, biggest thing that I personally discovered. And no wonder.

Speaker 2: 5:32

When I was going through perimenopause, I went to my physician or medical practitioners and nobody told me that this is what is happening your hormones are going out of whack and you need to do XYZ, and I was, you know, offered a depression, some kind of a medication to take care of my anxiety and depression, and that's still typically the case. And that's the biggest thing I felt that I discovered. Ob gyns told me that perimenopause is not taught to them at all. Menopause subject of menopause is taught only for eight hours during the 15 years of learning about female physiology, but that that's it. So that is, I think, the biggest.

Speaker 2: 6:19

Biggest gap we have into today's day and age about perimenopause is that we don't know where to turn to as women who are going through perimenopause and then we are caught by surprise. The way I was caught by surprise, I had no clue. Different type of symptoms. I thought, oh my god, I'm having a heart attack. I'm strange things you know, you start imagining, but you don't know that you're going through perimenopause and it's okay. That's the problem. That is the biggest problem, I feel.

Speaker 1: 6:47

Yeah, there hasn't like as you said, there's like only eight hours. And then there's not research. It's only now coming to the forefront that they're starting to do research and inquire about it, yet it's not fully in the medical system. Those are people that are the outliners, that are in holistic and that really want to go outside of the parameter of the medical system to start finding the resources and tools to support and validate women in their experiences.

Speaker 1: 7:16

Because, like you said, the majority of people think menopause, oh, you're just going to stop your period. You might, you know, your vagina might get dry or everything's going to start sagging because you don't have the estrogen. Yet that's not the case for everybody. You don't always get hot flashes, you don't always feel the anger or rage. There's a plethora of different symptoms and I think it's really great that you have created a community where women can share and, you know, work together with this and not have to hide in, you know, secrecy and shame and guilt and really just be lost of like what's really going on with me and not feeling validated by the medical system, not being seen and you know that's the problem.

Speaker 2: 8:04

Uh, it's. It's actually shocking, if you ask. My personal opinion is that we have not paid attention to this phase of a woman's life. I mean, like we, first of all, women topics are underfunded and under-researched, but this particular topic is just beginning, like you said, to talk. We are beginning to talk about it and thanks so much to some of these celebrities who are at that age group now and who are vocal about it and talking about it. And now, as a society, as a community, we are still at least opening up the subject. But still there is like so much work to be done.

Speaker 2: 8:37

We do not understand this even now, because of the lack of clinical trials, the lack of research. Can you believe? Our gut microbiome for women changes, our brain changes, right? I mean, can you imagine so? You're a different person, you. You just have to put a reset button when you're going through all that and all the other symptoms, of course, but if you're, fundamentally, your body is changing, your microbiome is changing, your mental health is changing, your weight is you know, you tend to put on weight all those things are changing. You are a completely different person and we don't understand that, and that is a fundamental issue right now.

Speaker 1: 9:18

Yeah, and you know the beauty stigma that's placed onto women. All of a sudden, when the body's changing, then you don't feel that you're of value because the beauty standards have changed significantly for you. So then that becomes some self-hatred, some self-loathing towards yourself, and then you're seeking on the outside to make me feel my youth and not really, you know, honor your body. You're actually chastising it and getting angry with it. So then that creates its own blockages and diseases and separation. And so the next question I have when you were speaking, and to the gynecologist and holistic, did the topic of emotional suppression come up with regards to perimenopause and menopause?

Speaker 2: 10:04

So I think OBGYN did not bring the emotional suppression part of it.

Speaker 2: 10:09

A lot of other holistic experts, like when I talked to the mental health experts or neuroscientists you know those people, like people like yourself, you know other people they brought in the emotional suppression part of it and they talked about how women generally doesn't matter which ethnic group or which part of the world, for example generally suppress their emotions as they're growing up.

Speaker 2: 10:35

That's how they are trained, their emotions as they're growing up. That's how they are trained and and uh, you know, and then they don't um, open up with their emotions at all and that is a problem we need to say well, how we feel or express the expression part doesn't exist. And suddenly, when they're hitting perimenopause, menopause all these years they have been full of empathy, caring suddenly they said, oh, I don't care, I need to take care of myself. I mean that I heard from so many women and that was also one of the reasons was they were also going through separation in their relationships, maybe a divorce, and then at that point they just say I don't get, I really don't care, so I and actually the data proves that 60 of open communication or other symptoms can also impact their relationships and eventually lead to a separation or divorce.

Speaker 1: 11:52

Yeah, because I know one of the symptoms can be a lot of, like you said, irritation and rage and frustration and, how you said, they were very empathetic, nurturing.

Speaker 1: 12:02

Now it's all of a sudden like I am not doing this anymore and I think some of that becomes an awakening that you were in a role that you thought you had to be a certain way, where now it's like I didn't even consider myself as a human being.

Speaker 1: 12:17

I othered myself and I was totally in this role and not realizing that some of that was a trauma response to find some safety and security, because it's always it's a very powerful state to be giving, it's a very vulnerable state to receive, and so when you're trying to earn your way or prove this image of yourself, that's denial of emotions.

Speaker 1: 12:41

And when there is rage and when there's anger and frustration, a lot of people want to say that there's an issue or label you know the woman that's neurotic and there's like she's just the B word and she's just this and that where it's like, well, that's a protective emotion. What emotions is she protecting that she doesn't feel safe to really express and feel that she has to come to this default of an emotion, because when she feels that other emotion she doesn't feel validated or seen or listened to. So this one has to come in in defense of protecting herself and having a voice. So it has to come out in this way because the other one there's no voice for it and being able to work through that. Did you experience any of that for yourself?

Speaker 2: 13:31

Absolutely, yes, absolutely. I grew up in a culture where women have to give right, and I think it's not necessarily the culture that I'm coming from an Indian culture but I noticed that, like I said, all the cultures are similar when it comes to women. I'm sorry to say that is the truth. I was shocked to have this revolution. You asked me what was I surprised about? I was surprised about. No matter which woman I talked to, they all felt the same in the way I feel.

Speaker 2: 14:00

And I also felt that, you know, I felt as growing up, or as an adult, I kind of molded myself to please others, right? I did that thinking that, oh, if I do this kind of a behavior, or if I behave like this, that other person who I'm trying to please would be pleased with me. I tried that for years and years, decades. I should say that. And you know what? They were never pleased, right?

Speaker 2: 14:26

Because I was not being who I am, I was not being truthful to myself, I was not expressing my feelings, and I felt that whenever I tried to bring my feelings, or true feelings, I was not being listened to, I was being kind of dismissed because my role was no, you need to kind of, in a very strange way, serve what I am trying to say to you. You know, and you don't have an opinion Right? So I think it happened to me. I've never expressed that, but it happened to me for decades, to me for decades. And then during the petty menopause journey, like you were saying, I don't know what happened Suddenly my all these built up it wasn't rage, it was built up pent up emotions or pent up feelings which I had never expressed for like 40 years or so, suddenly started coming to me and it just started becoming anger Like.

Speaker 2: 15:20

And I was not angry at someone else, I was angry at myself for doing that to myself, for not allowing myself to express, for trying to please other people and not trying to please or mean myself what I want, and I think this feeling so many women go through. I was lucky that I survived because of the anger and all the pent up emotions and all that thing. I was able to somehow get through it.

Speaker 1: 15:51

But I think it can completely put you in a path which could be reckless in a way right Very much, because it could hijack your behavior and your choices and then you don't really have clarity behavior and your choices and then you don't really have clarity. So it goes from one extreme to the next extreme rather than be in the middle of. Okay, let me feel, because again, it's healing. The crux of healing is does it have to go deep? Yeah, the deep is you have to feel your emotions. If you really want to get your authentic self, you have to feel your emotions and not in a way that you identify with them, that you feel them. You listen to the information Like too much stoicism makes it that you're not human and we see where that's going in the world right now and too much you know. Identifying with your emotions, thinking that your anger, thinking that your sadness, that isn't its benefit neither, because there's a weakness in that. It's just being able to feel these emotions and have safety and let them pass through, like they're giving you some information. Like you said, you had a script in my mind that this is the way I need to be and I need to find my validation on the outside of myself. So I'm people pleasing, find my validation on the outside of myself. So I'm people pleasing, I'm trying to find my safety to be recognized and for to see. You know we give because there is a chemical release that when somebody feels happy, it lights us up Like we don't, like there's a reward in this thing, and so when you have felt unsafe, you do that to feel a sense of belonging. Yet then, all of a sudden, when there's awakening, it's like wait a minute, who said I have to do all of this? And I really appreciate your transparency of explaining like I got angry with myself because I had to see like you allowed this. You, yeah, you, um, tolerated certain things. Where was your voice? Why didn't you stand up for you? And so that grieving because that's a grieving process, because there was a loss, and then there's a tenderness and there's an acceptance that has to be there and being able to be accountable and seen and everything else it's like oh, and that's why you need radical compassion and that's why you need radical kindness with yourself.

Speaker 1: 18:05

Because when it gets activated, it's like what do I do with these emotions? Nobody's ever given me a safe container when I was young, to feel this stuff and it's, it feels like a tsunami of stuff and it's very disorientating. It's like what personality am I? And I got so many different, because one minute I love you but I hate you, and I want to be with you but I don't. And you're feeling that all at once. And we haven't normalized this. We have a really black and white thinking that it's one or the other, and it's like no, you have different parts that are going on, yet it's not identifying just with one. It's being able to integrate it all and have a wholeness with a w, so that you're able to listen to what's going on, yet be connected into self and have clarity within yourself, so that you can have the autonomy of choosing, which is really deep work and go ahead no, no, I was just going to say, but sometimes you're so scared to express your emotions for the sake of pleasing others, and that's what happened to me.

Speaker 2: 19:12

Like, like I'm just I've never said that in a podcast, but that is the truth, because you, you bring up a topic which is so deep inside me and it's the fear that we all have women as women, sometimes in our families and our close families, and that is the way some of the family members will control you, so that you are pleasing them and and you keep pleasing them. But still, that is a control, like a mental control is what I'm trying to talk about. You know what I'm saying. And then suddenly you realize that you have just given up your personal identity to please others and they're never going to be pleased unless you behave in a certain way and you're doing injustice to yourself, to your atma, to your soul, right, and that's kind of the revolution I came up with is what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 20:01

Yeah, exactly Now I want to ask you what has forgiveness look like for you?

Speaker 2: 20:33

I, yeah, I forgive people very easily, in the sense I let go of things. Right, that's the only way I your using your words here, but and you have forgiven themselves, forgive, forgiven them for whatever, but moving forward. You cannot let them again run over you or bulldoze you. Does that make sense? Of course, boundaries.

Speaker 1: 20:56

A lot of people get boundaries and forgiveness mixed up.

Speaker 2: 21:00

Yes, you still have to set your boundaries with the person or whoever, and yet you've forgiven them. But on the other hand, that doesn't mean that they can again take over and mold you into a way that you were before. So forgiveness in my mind is that, yes, you let go of whatever has happened in the past, but you don't let that past again control you, moving the present or the future.

Speaker 1: 21:31

Now we've spoken about this perimenopause and menopause, and you spoke about your organization. Can you let the listeners know what you have to offer and where they can find you? So?

Speaker 2: 21:43

uh yeah, perimenopause is, like I said, something underfunded under research, so we decided to go a very deep into this topic. So what we've done is we've created 20 plus programs, that those are self-served initially, and then they're followed by expert driven, where we invite experts from all over the world to give coaching or to give guidance to the clients. So we start with something really basic and something super affordable and then go up the price. That really is the idea to make it open for everyone in the world. And you can find us at nourishdoccom. Wwwnourishdoccom.

Speaker 1: 22:29

And for the listeners it'll be in the show notes so you're able to click and you know, you know, just send a message. If, at any time, there was a tingle or an aha moment, that's your, you know your nervous system signaling to you that there was some information here that would serve you. So just reach out and find out some more information about this. I want to ask you is there a question that I did not ask, that you think would be valuable for the listeners?

Speaker 2: 22:59

Yeah, I think some of the one of the side symptom that I want to bring out that a lot of women have and they are not open to talk about this could be possible loss of libido that could impact their intimacy, that could impact their relationships with their partners or spouse or you know. So I think that is something women need to deeply, like we were talking about here, that voice, if something like those kind of things are happening, to have open communication and that's also for the partners. You said that you know you need support. So I think that is something that we as women ignore sometimes and but it's we need to bring it out.

Speaker 1: 23:47

We do, we do. I want to thank you for you know giving us the most valuable thing you have in life, which is your time, and you know the dedication of doing that alchemy taking the impurities of your own life and turning it into gold, yet sharing that gold with others and giving a platform and a voice to so many women that they don't have it. So I want to thank you for everything that you're contributing and the light you're bringing into the world. Amita, thank you so much Thank you.

Speaker 1: 24:18

Please remember to be kind to yourself. Hey, you made it all the way here. I appreciate you and your time. If you found value in this conversation, please share it out. If there was somebody that popped into your mind, take action and share it out with them. It possibly may not be them that will benefit. It's that they know somebody that will benefit from listening to this conversation. So please take action and share out the podcast. You can find us on social media on Facebook, instagram and TikTok under Lift One Self, and if you want to inquire about the work that I do and the services that I provide to people, come over on my website, come into a discovery, call liftoneselfcom. Until next time, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. You matter.