Don't Make It Weird
Two amateur authors and amateur humans—Daniel and Dina—discuss all things writing and books, and re-tell chaotic life adventures from cults to exes that think they’re horses. We’ve got you covered in this comedic and sarcastic, life-centered podcast. Follow us as we fail to not make it weird.
Don't Make It Weird
The One With Dzintra Sullivan
If you've ever wondered whether an elephant is more akin to a dog or a cat, or if you've found yourself lost in the peculiarities of Australian slang, buckle up for this wild literary escapade. With the brilliant Dzintra (Zee) Sullivan in the mix, we're throwing the rulebook out the window and serving up a feast of storytelling with a side of irreverent humor. From character games that will have you guessing alongside us to a hearty debate on the hierarchy of potato dishes, this episode has it all - including a pinch of philosophy and a sprinkle of survival tips.
Step right up for a comedic guessing game that explores which literary characters capture the hearts of authors worldwide, featuring a lineup from Frodo Baggins to Cinderella. But it's not just about the iconic characters; we're also tearing down the curtains to reveal the oddities and quirks within the English language and storytelling. Zee leads the charge with her insights into character development and the colorful world of indie publishing, making this episode a treasure trove for writers and readers alike.
We're rounding off the shenanigans with a foray into the world of cringe-worthy erotic literature. Be forewarned, it's as hilariously uncomfortable as it sounds. And for the pièce de résistance, Zee tackles the ultimate challenge of pitching her "Days of Death" series in a single heartbeat. So, if you're ready for a good chuckle and a peek behind the literary curtain with a crew that doesn't take themselves too seriously, pull up a chair and lend us your ears. You're in for quite the show.
Dzintra Sullivan's Website: https://www.booksbydzintra.com/
Dzintra on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DzintraSullivan
Daniel's website: https://dumps4danq.com
Dina's website: https://dinasaurusd.com
You can find the video presentation of this show on our YouTube channel, and the audio only version on any of your favorite podcast apps!
📢 Call us! Got a weird story, a conspiracy theory, or a better use for baby oil? Leave us a voicemail or text us at (347) 69-WEIRD! 📞 That’s (347) 699-3473!
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Don't Make It Weird Podcast on Twitter: http://twitter.com/dmiwpodcast
Daniel on Twitter: http://twitter.com/danqwritesthing
Dina on Twitter: http://twitter.com/dinasaurusd
Producer Sean on Twitter: http://twitter.com/shaceholdu
Music Credit:
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Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0
Free Download / Stream: https://bit.ly/al-swing-rabbit-swing
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Credits song written and performed by ...
I'm ready, baby, it's the.
Speaker 2:Don't make it weird podcast With your hosts Daniel and Dina. Source.
Speaker 1:Hello there, welcome to the don't make it weird podcast. I'm one of your co-hosts, daniel Quigley, and we are your writing storytelling comedy podcast for the writing community by the writing community guys. I'm joined, as always, by the observant, obliging, obstinate ostrich who's on top of Let me, let me get that last. Let me just get that last part again. Can I just get that again? Yeah, I'm joined, as always, by the observant, obliging, obstinate ostrich who's on top of once upon a death, dina Soris.
Speaker 3:Just like ornamental or.
Speaker 1:What it's? Just there is like a decorative piece. Yeah, let me ask you a better question, dina. Are you saying that I'm pretty live, I'm a pretty decoration, that my face is pretty?
Speaker 3:Himbo, like one of those From the Christmas tree that, like children, decorated and made when they were little and like you kind of have to keep it on the tree.
Speaker 2:Made of glue and macaroni. Yeah, it's like a nostalgia thing at this point.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Jesus, that's all I am to you, dina is, I'm just card.
Speaker 3:Ornamental card stock Well you know what?
Speaker 1:You know what, dina, your hair is on point today. Have I told you that lately your hair, hair looks fabulous, darling, fabulous. Nothing, I just, I just want us to have a good mood today. It's what I want. The good vibe today, dina, I want, I want my contact. Can I have eye contact, dina?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Is that? Is that a yes, no, no to that contact? Well, you know who might give me eye contact, but probably definitely won't. We've got a guess this week, and I'm so excited about this because we've been on her show, both Dina and myself, and now it is time for her to step into the hot seat. That's, that's how the saying goes. I'm pretty sure our guess this week is the number one International best-selling author and podcast host. Of what the book and talk wordy to me.
Speaker 1:She stands out with her philosophy that she chronicles the lives of her characters rather than creating them, a method that has won her much acclaim. Since her debut in 2014 with Arcadia in the halfway house series, she's authored over 20 books, including that Apple, oh my god, why would you do this to me? Z, including the Appalala clan and days of death series. Her dedication to storytelling and her impact on the indie author community Through her works and podcasts get us excited to have her on with us today on don't make it weird Joining us all the way from one day in the future. Please welcome Zintra Sullivan.
Speaker 6:Morning or afternoon. That sounds such a evening intro for just a little Aussie chick.
Speaker 1:I got the name mostly right tonight.
Speaker 2:I threw up your name terribly you put a hard Z on there, it's okay.
Speaker 1:Listen, if I got your name right, I mean, you already gave me the Appalala clan, which I don't even know, if I got that right and and that was a curveball, sean. Thank you for putting that in there for me. See how you feeling today, buddy. Are you excited? You're here with us. We get to bond, we get to be excited like.
Speaker 6:It's very, very weird. You guys like don't make it weird, podcast I it is weird. It's very weird to be on this side of the podcast, but I'm super excited to be here and I Can't wait to see what happens.
Speaker 1:Well, you know what's gonna happen next. All right, z, I got this for you because there's actually another member of our team, someone near and dear to our heart, the only adult in the room Come on I don't fear, I'm your creeper. Shawnee, take my third hand. Don't fear, I'm your creeper.
Speaker 5:Let's take mouth drugs and get high fear.
Speaker 1:I'm your creeper Shawnee. I'm your man Producer, sean everyone. Hey, buddy.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, see you. Welcome to the show. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 3:Can. I just say that that was actually a good intro, daniel.
Speaker 1:Sean clip that clipping it.
Speaker 3:You didn't like, try to like Like yeah, I got back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is objectifying, sean. I agree, this is what I should have been doing all along and and I hope that the audience appreciates this.
Speaker 2:Speaking of the audience, they can join us in our drinking games. We have certain buzzwords that will trigger a buzzer like this. If you hear it, it means it's time to take a sip of your drink. Also, we are all observing buffalo rules here. That means we all drink with our offhand. We are all right-handed, including our guest Z, so we'll all be drinking with our left hands. If anyone catches someone else drinking with their right hands, you can call up Buffalo, make them finish their drink.
Speaker 1:Out here, don't make it weird. We're out here to change lives. We're out here to bring truth to the forefront of humanity. So dim the lights, put on some good mood music and leave your disbelief at the door as we enter Dina's Tiktok.
Speaker 3:You know what I would like us to start doing for this segment? You guys should pick a Subjects like a topic, like are we going worldly, are we going political? Are we going celebrity? Like, give me, give me one of them.
Speaker 2:We could. I Feel like you're. You're putting the burden of the research on us and Sean, I have so many. I just can't pick those clothes rise and point at one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's go. We you know what we're worldly podcast. We're about to blow up in Australia, thanks, Belgium loves us. Belgium loves us and I hope that we can get the Aussies on board. So you know.
Speaker 3:Aussies, it's Aussie. I can see why can't see, can it?
Speaker 6:be both Aussies, aussies well, it's an S, so I've got Aussies. Yeah, it's pronounced with a Z, I guess. Aussies, aussie, aussie, aussie. Oh, you told me that I have to.
Speaker 1:Oh boy, oh yep, oh boy, oh sorry.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:I thought we were doing the whole thing. I'm ready.
Speaker 3:Are we ready? The plane crash position on commercial aircrafts is to ensure that you die because the lawsuit is hella good.
Speaker 1:Wow, okay, okay, hold on, let's bring in our air of safety expert and crash position expert Z Sullivan. What is what?
Speaker 6:is your professional opinion on this oh my god um, like, oh, I just I just watched yellow jackets. I knew like last week, a week before, and it's about a plane crash. So if, if I was in a plane crash, I would sincerely hope it was designed for all of us to perish, because I'm not strong enough for that. I'm not, I'm not built For that survival stuff. I'm going for last. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm not built for that, so I let's go with you, definitely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah it's so big airline is gonna is gonna kill you. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm with you on that. I would use producer Sean as my flotation device. That would be my method of surviving the plane crash.
Speaker 2:I Would drown you.
Speaker 1:That's where I show what are your thoughts on on this one, because this is a bombshell, a Dina drop, this is.
Speaker 2:this is a big one so You're saying it's because what about the lawsuit? What's the reason? They don't because the lawsuit would be so Expend like astronomical for them to pay out if they don't want you to survive, right, but the family will still sue for wrongful death, so there's still a lawsuit there.
Speaker 3:Pretty sure it's on the waiver that the family can't do if you die oh. So, there's a Five you can sue a green continue.
Speaker 1:I you can't sue.
Speaker 2:That seems backwards to me. I read the terms and conditions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's, that's my life All right?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, if that's true, then great.
Speaker 1:So, dina, what would be your preferred Survival position? Like what, what gives, what do you think you can give us the best chance to survive? What's your favorite position?
Speaker 3:I'm gonna go with the question, that's and with what's your favorite position. I.
Speaker 2:You know, we're just gonna clip what's your favorite position and you're gonna say car crash, dummy position.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, 100%. That is gonna be the. You know what? That could just be the the entire show, right there, let's just call it jazz hands everybody yeah thank you so much for being on the show. Did you just bill, dina, how?
Speaker 2:Why do you ask every time how that's a fair? Because that's how she's very graceful.
Speaker 1:So if you don't know about Dina, she is Incredible at MacGyvering ways to drink alcohol like out of bras and other containers. She's also equally good at these Contraptions exploding, destroying or spilling all over her. So so there's a little bit of a backstory there.
Speaker 2:What is the?
Speaker 1:best snuck alcohol, oh she's an. Aussie, I'm sure it's not real.
Speaker 5:Have you done a shooie.
Speaker 1:Zee.
Speaker 5:Not real.
Speaker 6:This is all right.
Speaker 1:No, she was not real green, she was all green.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I've done a shooie, didn't cut that out. Cut that out, I was young.
Speaker 2:I'll totally cut it out.
Speaker 1:Juicy how does it sound like a stupid?
Speaker 5:thing, it's when you. It's when you chug a beer out of your shoe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just like, literally you take the shoe off and you drink it out. There's no prep here, dina.
Speaker 6:It is a stinky shoe, can I say though in my defense sweaty shoe in my defense. Yeah, it was my own shoe.
Speaker 2:It should be.
Speaker 6:So you know. I wasn't grabbing some strange dude's shoe and just ripping it all, filling it up and taking my, my shoe.
Speaker 1:And I assume it's a smaller size, like you're not talking like a working boot here, like you know, yeah, yeah, yeah that might be like a gallon of so it might be a gallon.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're still. Oh, that's getting clipped.
Speaker 2:Yeah, clip that too Okay, so why don't we go to the story time? Tease Daniel.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I'm ready. I'm ready professional. I'm a, I'm a mature Z. Can I ask you a personal question? Yes, or would you say that would? Would you say that you're a tease Pickle pickle.
Speaker 6:Why? What if you hate? Oh?
Speaker 1:See, here's what I need you to do. I need you to put those rumors to bed, so to speak okay. Oh, I need you to get all all the hookers and boners out of the way and I need you to give a little ice cube down the nape of the neck, give the audience a little tease of of the story time you have for us.
Speaker 6:Of my story, a teaser um.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 6:Outback snowmageddon.
Speaker 1:Outback snowmageddon. Okay, let's go. Have y'all ever had outbacks?
Speaker 3:Pican salad should so good, oh my god.
Speaker 2:That's the most Australian thing that dina knows about.
Speaker 6:As I said, outback snowmageddon. I thought I'm sure I've seen that porn too, but it's not that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, daniels, read that erotica yeah.
Speaker 1:See, have you ever eaten that in outback steakhouse? Like are there outbacks in australia or is it?
Speaker 6:They don't have them in australia. There are two Outback. There are two. Yeah, okay, no one.
Speaker 1:Food store not.
Speaker 6:Yeah, no, I haven't been to either of them. They dare, I think. There's one in sydney, one in melbourne.
Speaker 1:Okay, so according to my us geographer, opinions are what like 20 minutes from each other? Right, like that sounds right.
Speaker 6:That's about that. I didn't have that far on the map. Yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just about.
Speaker 5:All right. Well, I can't wait to get there in like under five minutes.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited Strings. He said. There's the first buzzer there it is, is getting getting warmed up. We're starting to feel it now All right. So z For the folks at home that don't know, like we said in beginning, she does a couple of um, you know, incredible podcasts, what the book being one of them. And see, you guys have a have a proud tradition on that show of uh, playing a certain game. What, what, what game would that be?
Speaker 6:What's the game? Um? Well, we call it booker feud. Perfect we're gonna use that audio right there to bring that in. It sounds so much better without the visual, doesn't it? I mean, oh god.
Speaker 1:Oh no, it's such a good visual, but you know what you told us, that you actually haven't played, that you've just been the host. No, you've been screwing all of us. Smart and his time for payback.
Speaker 3:I have a question what are?
Speaker 1:we playing buddy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what.
Speaker 3:I have a question. So, since she usually does teams, are we doing teams or we just gonna do two versus one?
Speaker 2:No, we're just gonna go. You know I usually explain like how the game works when I introduce it. Dean, I don't know if this is your first recording with us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I wanted to give you the idea before you set the rules, because okay you have an idea?
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was my idea.
Speaker 2:So you asked me if it's teams or individuals. That's your idea.
Speaker 3:We can just, we can just move on, because I wanted it to be two versus one. Which did you prefer?
Speaker 5:You want to be two versus one, so you and see versus Daniel. Is that what you want?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Okay, we'll do two v one. We'll do a little.
Speaker 1:What was your idea, sean?
Speaker 2:Sean, what was your idea? I was just gonna do every man for themselves and you guys just buzz in with your answers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's go. I don't. I don't need no, I don't need no. Dina holding me back from my big brain. She didn't want to be on your team. Oh yeah, let's do this. I'm ready for a three-way. I'm excited about this. This is perfect, okay so unclear.
Speaker 2:Are we doing two v one handicap match or?
Speaker 5:yeah why, don't we let.
Speaker 1:I was about to go full misogyny on that one guys.
Speaker 2:I'm not Jesus christ. Z does not even want to play this game. So, z, what would you prefer? Do you want dina to be on your team or do you want to do every man for themselves?
Speaker 6:In on what the book is always in teams and let's say, I like a team action, I'm, I'm, I'm. I've had, I'd love to she likes a team action.
Speaker 1:Okay, I like to team up with dina. Let's do this.
Speaker 2:All right, so we're gonna play a little family feud knockoff. We like to call weird survey face off.
Speaker 1:Rolls right off the tongue, denis.
Speaker 2:Source D will team up with our guest C. Daniel will be the lone man on the other side. Say your name to buzz in. Okay, we surveyed 100 authors and we asked them what famous literary character do you wish you had come up with?
Speaker 6:Thank D's.
Speaker 2:What is?
Speaker 5:it Daniel.
Speaker 1:So I think that it's definitely going to have to be Frodo. I think that we got a lot of Frodo fans here, man.
Speaker 2:Good time.
Speaker 6:Survey says Frodo Baggins is a correct answer for 11 points. Do we get to confer? Do I get to confer with Dana?
Speaker 2:Of course, yeah, if you want to do that, go for it. Yeah, only if we're on a team.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, dana, what do you think? Yeah, we are.
Speaker 1:That's my move. I was hoping you got it, Nia.
Speaker 3:I was thinking that it was gonna be like what literary character? I was thinking like Edward Cullen or something Twilight, Like Twilight go big.
Speaker 6:Oh, twilight. Yeah, I was gonna go Harry Potter, but Edward would be fine.
Speaker 3:Harry Potter. No, no, no, do Harry Potter, because that also came in my head and I was like I'm happy to go with your choice, all right, so we're locking in Harry Potter.
Speaker 2:All right. Let's go. Harry Potter Survey says Harry Potter is the top answer with 22 answers.
Speaker 6:I like this game. Nicely done, nicely done, let's just go back and forth at this point Ha ha, ha, ha ha ha ha.
Speaker 1:This is bullshit, daniel. All right, I'm gonna. You know what I'm gonna go. I feel like Edward Cullen is probably a high-up answer, but fuck that shit. I am all about female empowerment. So Katniss Everdeen.
Speaker 2:Katniss Everdeen Survey says Katniss Everdeen.
Speaker 1:Let's go. Four points, that's not nothing, all right.
Speaker 6:Okay, Dana.
Speaker 3:Dina and Z. All right, z you wanna go with Edward Cullen this time.
Speaker 6:Well, I was thinking, maybe even it's Star Wars character, not Jar Jar B.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll save that one for me. Is that considered? Literary. No, I mean there's books. There's a fuck ton of Star Wars books.
Speaker 6:No, no, no, no. Edward Cullen, then Edward Cullen.
Speaker 2:Edward Cullen. Locking in Edward.
Speaker 3:Cullen survey says All right, we'll go with.
Speaker 2:Edward Cullen no Edward Cullen on the list.
Speaker 6:This guy's rigged, god damn it. It's rigged, all right, that's awesome, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 5:So for the record I prepared this game for everybody.
Speaker 2:Daniel and Dina had no knowledge of the subject matter or the survey ahead of time.
Speaker 1:All right, all right, let's see. All right, all right.
Speaker 2:He's looking at his bookshelf.
Speaker 1:you guys, I am definitely looking at my bookshelf for inspiration here.
Speaker 2:So is.
Speaker 1:Dina.
Speaker 3:I got one.
Speaker 2:Dina, you're a piece of obscure life. Daniel you've got five seconds before I bring it back to the girls Five four three, two, one.
Speaker 1:It is fucking shit. I blanked, I blanked, my mind's blanked, all right.
Speaker 2:Dina and Z for the steal.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, I got one.
Speaker 3:Z, it should be Dracula, go with.
Speaker 6:Dracula yes, 100%.
Speaker 2:Dracula survey says Dracula's on the board.
Speaker 6:It's like last, but it's OK, it's still there.
Speaker 1:That still points. It still counts, all right. I am going to go with King Arthur. King Arthur survey says Everything is based off of King Arthur. How would you not want to be the one that came up with King Arthur? I don't know, man, unless you're counting him as not to be the one that came up with Merlin.
Speaker 6:This day's rigged, this rigged, it's rigged, damn it. This is bullshit. What if it was the DNF that was stopping more along the lines, if it was in the fairy tale world, like Cinderella or the little mermaid or that kind of thing? Oh shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're right, or Scrooge. Would it be Cinderella or Snow White? Which princess is more famous? Nah, I feel like that's going to be too obscure because it's more Christmas.
Speaker 6:Up to you, that's. I think it might be more fairy tale orientated.
Speaker 3:Let's go.
Speaker 2:Cinderella. Cinderella Survey says oh, stop it Rigged.
Speaker 1:All right All right. I got one. It's real All right, we're going to go even more classic and go great Gatsby. So Gatsby, oh stop.
Speaker 2:All right, no way. J Gatsby is on the board. Let's go, stop it. Oh god.
Speaker 1:I thought his first name was great.
Speaker 3:Something shakes beer, oh, hamlet.
Speaker 6:Romeo, romeo, juliet, but if they be a two, would they be a double Romeo and Juliet?
Speaker 3:Yeah, can you have a double on there? I mean you can guess a double if you'd like.
Speaker 2:So it's Romeo and Juliet.
Speaker 4:Don't go Um, let's go with. Is that what you're guessing? Romeo and Juliet, let's do a double. Yeah, romeo and.
Speaker 3:Juliet. Survey says Romeo and Juliet, romeo and Juliet, romeo and Juliet, romeo and Juliet, romeo and Juliet Romeo and.
Speaker 4:Juliet, romeo and Juliet J Gatsby, romeo and Juliet. Well, the literary people are.
Speaker 6:You Are these 100.
Speaker 2:Americans. All right, honestly Is this what it is. I mean, I think the assumption is that they're American, just like the assumption that you made on your show.
Speaker 1:I am shocked that that wasn't even on there.
Speaker 2:I'm shocked you guys haven't filled out this board yet. I don't think these are that difficult answers, but you know.
Speaker 1:All right, this one I'm going to just take from you, dina, because I'm sure it's going to drive you insane, aslan.
Speaker 2:Line the witch in wardrobe. Yeah, Line the witch in the wardrobe. Aslan survey says I don't think that's going to be on there oh.
Speaker 1:God, all right, we are failing miserably, apparently. We just don't know what people think are great literary characters.
Speaker 6:Dana Percy.
Speaker 3:Jackson.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, Percy Jackson.
Speaker 1:Percy Jackson Survey says I feel like a fucking idiot.
Speaker 6:I like that.
Speaker 1:This has got to be number two right here. I got this one. I got this one. Sherlock, mother fucking Holmes, oh Sherlock.
Speaker 2:Holmes Survey says that's the ending. The number two answer Sherlock Holmes. Back in the game, baby. I mean Four answers remain uncovered or covered on the board.
Speaker 1:Shit, I now I'm feeling it, I'm feeling Jesus? Oh, we're not good at this Feeling. I got the next two.
Speaker 6:What about? What about? Um, I kind of remember his name from Gone With the Wind, or the chick from Gone With the Wind.
Speaker 1:The Dixie Chicks.
Speaker 3:I don't know, I don't know, I don't know their name. What about Frankenstein? Frankenstein?
Speaker 2:Is is in Dr Frankenstein, Dr Frankenstein.
Speaker 1:Are you locking in Frankenstein? Yeah?
Speaker 2:Okay, dr Frankenstein Survey says Womp womp womp.
Speaker 1:Alright Z for my next guess. I need hard eye contact here.
Speaker 2:I give up, but I need you to promise not to fall in love. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:Alright Z, you can't fall in love with me. But make hard eye contact, because the next character is Bond, james Bond.
Speaker 5:Ugh.
Speaker 2:James Bond Survey says what Fucking icon. This is bullshit so iconic, you guessed him 12th.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fucking hell. Alright, I still got another one. I still got. I got nothing. I got two, but I think one is the only one that has a shot here.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think we need to do two more guesses. So one guess each, alright, and then we need to move on. Alright, alright, I'm going to go Hold on. You just guessed and you were wrong, oh, sorry, so let's give it back to the ladies Z. Z.
Speaker 6:Z.
Speaker 3:I got nothing. Oh, oh, oh.
Speaker 6:Did we do it with Callandina or did we just talk about it? Wait?
Speaker 1:Dina thought about doing him a lot.
Speaker 3:Shit. No, I don't remember if we did it. I mean we'd all like to do it.
Speaker 6:I really liked to do him but and I think we actually did him he's got a sparkle.
Speaker 1:You got a sparkle, I'm pretty sure we did.
Speaker 3:No, I think we did, we did.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you guys did, you did and he wasn't on the board.
Speaker 2:And you guys were very frustrated especially after. Katniss was on the board.
Speaker 6:Yeah, damn it, all that sparkle and nothing else.
Speaker 1:All sparkle, no substance.
Speaker 3:Dr Jackal and Mr. Hyde, I don't know, I have no idea.
Speaker 1:Locking it in.
Speaker 3:That's a good one yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, Dr Jackal and Mr Hyde survey says All right.
Speaker 1:If this one's not on here, then every English teacher in high school is going to be fucking furious. Holden Caulfield.
Speaker 2:All right, holden Caulfield, who Survey says he's on the board.
Speaker 1:Let's go catch her in the ride. Catch her in the ride when you go to an actual school. That's not like by a cult. That's the main character you never read.
Speaker 2:Catcher in the Rye. Jesus Christ, dina. Even Sean's read Catcher in the Rye. No People have called me Holden Caulfield my whole fucking life because of my last name. It's true, all right, so that was the last guess, y'all. And it looks like Daniel, won by a landslide, it looks like 30.
Speaker 3:Ok, let's see if he can match. It's like.
Speaker 2:Dina won. Dina gets 800 points by default, so 29, 37.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I won.
Speaker 2:Or 38. That's right. 43, 47 to 24. Sorry, ladies, daniel crushed you. The answers you didn't get were Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and.
Speaker 1:Prejudice yeah, Shane's going to be furious about this one. Yeah she's so upset. I was thinking about him.
Speaker 2:And Hermione Cranger, double Harry Potter. Thank you for playing today's game. This is rigged.
Speaker 6:This is rigged. I much prefer the hosting position in the game. The answers are from like the 90s.
Speaker 1:The answers are from the 90s. Harry Potter wasn't, I guess. Technically would be, I guess.
Speaker 5:But still still. I know 97. 97.
Speaker 1:All right, all right. Well, you survived, z. You survived being on the other end of it, and we're proud of you. We're proud of you for going on this journey and having this menage with us. So it's now time to get the people what they want, because, you see, we're all about storytelling here, and every week, we aim to share an entertaining tale. So, without further ado, it's Storytime with Z.
Speaker 6:That's like normal, all right. So you guys asked for a story. It's a heartwarming story, my childhood. It's one of my most vivid memories that I have of growing up. I'm Aussie, as you know. It's fake Stay green screens, all of that sort of stuff. But I grew up on a farm and I was desperate to see snow. I've never seen it, never touched it. I don't know what it feels like. I don't know what it's like to play in it or run in it or see it, and all year all I did was wish for snow for Christmas, snow for Christmas, snow for Christmas Every day. I think I was 12 at the time. Snow for Christmas, and on Christmas morning I woke up and I ran outside expecting there to be snow and there was a mound like about a mound of snow about a metre wide that was in the backyard. I have no idea what it is, and I thought.
Speaker 6:OK, three foot three foot in diameter, snow, three foot and about a foot deep, and I saw a lot of snow that had been deposited and, of course, my parents said that my presence had been answered and that I had been given this snow and I rolled in it and I played it and I scrunched it in the snowballs and threw it at people and I should do and it was only a number of years later that I found out my grandfather had spent the year collecting the snow from his old freezer edge and shaving it down to make this mound of snow for me for Christmas. So I had snow in the outback in the middle of summer in Australia.
Speaker 1:Wow, your grandfather is immediately the coolest fucking person I've ever heard of. That's incredible. It was pretty cool.
Speaker 6:Holy cow. What a core memory to have huh, that's as close to snow as I can. It's as close to snow as I've ever gone.
Speaker 1:So you've never even all right. So have you ever traveled outside of Australia?
Speaker 3:It always bows my mind that, like Christmas is during the summer in other countries.
Speaker 6:Southern hemisphere. It blows my mind, christmas is hot, hot, hot, hot down under. Oh sounds kinky.
Speaker 5:Same thing, Brrrr, brrrr.
Speaker 2:See before we yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay. So even if I was, wondering my pants are still sticky.
Speaker 2:Less. That's just the best thing I could have heard in this moment.
Speaker 1:Don't go ahead and clip that. I got it. This episode is going to be renamed Dina's porno. Oh God, when I can't see anyone's reaction, I don't know if I'm like I've been gooped.
Speaker 3:Wait, wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. I know that we have a hard stop for Z, but I still need. I can't raise my voice because my child is sleeping right there, but I'm pretty pissed off at you guys. Uh-huh, Because in the audience I'm pretty pissed off at them too. Oh, Because y'all let me think for the last year that gooped meant jizz. I mean it can and it doesn't. It can.
Speaker 1:No, it doesn't. Anything can be jizz if you believe hard enough.
Speaker 2:It doesn't I thought we were establishing that getting gooped meant like getting egg on your face.
Speaker 1:It always meant both to me, honestly.
Speaker 2:You think that we named an episode after you getting bukkockied Like that would never happen. That's not what it was named after, which is what Tim told me, so okay.
Speaker 1:When you get gooped that means you've been fooled, you've been bamboozled.
Speaker 3:Correct. I thought that's what it meant. And then William Brett Hill on Twitter was like does that mean something that I don't think it does, Because it definitely means jizz.
Speaker 2:And then we had an entire episode where I told you guys this, I need to go back and watch it and you said yeah, dean, it definitely means jizz.
Speaker 3:If we said that we were fucking with you and I said it in front of my husband's yeah, and I didn't know, and I said it in front of my husband's friends Because they said you got gooped and I went. That's really inappropriate. Why are you talking about jizz? And the whole room went silent.
Speaker 2:God, I wish we had that on video. I really do too.
Speaker 1:This is just the best. I mean, Dean, you just got to have the right attitude about these kind of things. Sometimes you get gooped and sometimes I get gooped Do they use that phrase down under Z?
Speaker 2:Do they say you've been gooped?
Speaker 6:I've never heard it used in relation to jizz or anything else.
Speaker 2:Well, we can get that train rolling down there, if you want to hear, it All right.
Speaker 1:So Z, just to help us out here and be completely and utterly inappropriate what is the most Aussie version of jizz? Like, because Aussie's got their whole language of slang here. Like what would be the most Aussie version.
Speaker 6:Pretty simple people is just jizz. We're going with the classic we're going with the classic. Yeah, we're going with the classic. Well, just, I mean we get confused when you guys say, oh, I'm rooting for a team, super Bowl's going on, I'm rooting for this team, me now. In Australia, rooting means you're getting down, so in my visual I've got the entire of America naked. We're just all in the pouches.
Speaker 2:We're just all in the pouches. We all get the same G a big ORG because there's a football game going on and I'm like, oh, that's correct, that's the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the Super Bowl.
Speaker 6:It is what turns down America Exactly.
Speaker 2:Exactly how it goes.
Speaker 1:We all get together once a year for True Sex.
Speaker 6:It's the penny drop of Super Bowl.
Speaker 2:That's why.
Speaker 6:That's why I'm sad, that's why they're so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why it's so popular.
Speaker 6:So you go.
Speaker 2:And you need all the food and innovations at the door.
Speaker 1:I've been rooting for Sean my whole life, so this is it makes sense.
Speaker 6:Every time.
Speaker 1:I hear something I'll root for you.
Speaker 6:I'll root for you and I'm like, okay, I did really ask for this, I barely know you, man, you have one.
Speaker 1:OK, so hold on, hold on See. What does this mean if I say like I'm really rooting for your book?
Speaker 6:I mean you're getting down and naked in support of my literary characters, which is why you don't know what every guest book is saying and I could have written it better to have a least room. And I want to mine.
Speaker 5:I didn't write it.
Speaker 1:All right, I start using this all the time.
Speaker 2:Let's introduce the interview segment, Daniel.
Speaker 1:This is my new favorite inside joke and I'm so excited to abuse the shit out of this. Thank you for that Z. That was even better than I could have hoped for. All right Z.
Speaker 3:Daniel, we have a time crunch, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1:I'm going on to the next thing. Do not go. Your hair looks really pretty, by the way.
Speaker 2:What do you want?
Speaker 1:Z. Do you have a handkerchief handy, perhaps some sort of cloth or tear drying device?
Speaker 6:Why Is that you? Is it involved?
Speaker 1:Lost you on that one.
Speaker 2:He's, he's suggest yeah, I mean he wants you to think that just implied, but really he's he's making sure you have something in case you cry. Yeah, because these are hard questions with dinosaurs. Hold up Whoa whoa no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The layers of the potato we hand you. You had plenty of opportunities to say the thing to peel back the layers of the potato, take longer because you didn't let me feel back the potato.
Speaker 1:Yeah, could you peel back the layers of the potato? It's time for hard hitting.
Speaker 3:Ok, this question is actually, it originated in Australia from an Australian, so I'm hoping that, like you, can really get on board with this. So we're going to, we're going to establish something about the classes of the animal system here. The only animals that you have are I last question a dog, cat, water or bug. Those are the categories of animals for every animal in the world. Ok, so I want to know if an elephant is a dog, a cat, water or bug.
Speaker 6:I didn't get the last part of that question. I'm sorry I got dog elephant. Well now, and I'm like, Dragon is an elephant.
Speaker 2:Is an elephant.
Speaker 6:Dog what.
Speaker 3:It's an elephant categorized as a dog, a cat, water or a bug.
Speaker 6:Is an elephant, a dog, cat, water or bug, and those are the options and you're the scientists.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're the scientist in charge of reclassifying absolutely things into these four categories Absolute dog lover dog.
Speaker 3:Why do you think that an elephant is a dog?
Speaker 6:Because it wags its its trunk like the dog wags its butt when it's happy. So it makes sense.
Speaker 5:They both have a.
Speaker 1:When I'm happy. Oh yeah, we do.
Speaker 6:Oh, so that's that thought for later. Wiggly appendages when you're happy God every every day Dina.
Speaker 3:Where do hamsters live?
Speaker 2:Hold on a second Hold the.
Speaker 1:God, what just hit, you Will you survive, oh I don't know.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:Probably.
Speaker 2:You know I almost fudged a survey about the cross section of animals that try to kill you from both Florida and Australia, just to like make this and Dina and Z showcase. But I couldn't get the research done to make it a full game. So, I'm sorry, go on with your next question, dina, and we'll pray that you live through whatever just bit you.
Speaker 3:Where do hamsters live if they're not a pet?
Speaker 6:on that scale.
Speaker 2:Different question.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, this is a different animal based question. No, no, no, no, yeah, no question. Where do hamsters live if they're not a?
Speaker 1:pet, just in general. Yeah, the natural environment.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just like. Yeah, you know, I'm trying. I don't know, there are me wings.
Speaker 5:The first thing that came to my head is pornographic.
Speaker 6:So that's probably not the answer.
Speaker 3:I don't know either. That's the point.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, yes, yes, that's exactly where I went. Z followed your question. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. No, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Is it Richard?
Speaker 6:Yes, z, we've already crossed this line.
Speaker 1:This is going to be a whole show about sexual references, so my first answer was up the book, but I just thought that that might just you know, but I want to make it weird.
Speaker 3:No, that's that's I. That's where I went to. I'm pretty sure that's just right. Yeah, suspicious that it was an accident or wasn't an accident 23.
Speaker 1:Oddly specific. I'm here for it.
Speaker 6:That's a lot. There's a lot. There are a lot of seagulls.
Speaker 2:So what would you think up until 22? Would you think that maybe, like you, left some food out and they're just trying to eat?
Speaker 6:Yeah, they left some food out and left the door open by mistake. They hit 23.
Speaker 2:23rd one comes in and you count them and you're like wait a minute.
Speaker 5:That's it, and I need 23 full grown.
Speaker 6:If one of them is small, it doesn't count. You'd make 24.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it has certain size to grow.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Good to know.
Speaker 3:If Pinocchio's nose grows when he's about to lie and he says the phrase my nose is about to grow, then will his nose grow.
Speaker 6:Oh fuck, oh yes.
Speaker 3:Shit, but then it's.
Speaker 2:my understanding is his nose grows after he lies, not when he's about to lie.
Speaker 1:So you can't give it? What does his nose grow? I'm not high enough for this question. My nose is about to grow. I should not wait.
Speaker 2:This is a paradox, because if you say he says his nose is about to grow, but he's not lying, then his nose wouldn't grow. But if he says my nose is about to grow and that's a lie and his nose is supposed to grow, but then it would make it true. So that's the paradox. Yeah, it's a chicken or the egg situation.
Speaker 1:My brain hurts right now.
Speaker 2:I'm with Daniel. You broke Daniel.
Speaker 3:You know what We'll make it easier. You know what we can fix your brain. Oh, all right. See, honey, did you come in hot with this take? You got to give me reasons. You got to back your answer.
Speaker 5:Oh God.
Speaker 3:Nobody can argue with you. Oh God, okay, all right. So what is the superior form of potato?
Speaker 6:What is the?
Speaker 3:what of potato the superior?
Speaker 6:form of potato, potato chips, fries, fries, fries Whichever you call it, which depends on what side of the world you come from but hot chips, fried chips, double fried, particularly beer-battered double fried hot chips.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, I like that With the thick gravy With the thick gravy, with the battered french fries, with the thick gravy With the thick gravy.
Speaker 6:And that's the thing the fried hot chips with the thick gravy.
Speaker 5:And that's sort of gravy, mm-hmm. I'm passionate about this With the thick gravy, with the thick gravy, because it's that sort of gravy that you know.
Speaker 6:you put the chip in and it sticks to the chip. It doesn't drip off. We don't want drip, I want it to.
Speaker 3:Mm.
Speaker 6:What color?
Speaker 3:is the gravy.
Speaker 6:Oh, what color? Dark brown, really dark, rich, thick, and we're doing yeah. Thick, dark, rich, thick, thick, thick, diff.
Speaker 2:Just like I like my men, ah, ah, ah, big, dark and rich baby. Ah, the um, the um, really really, really, really really seriously and I don't want to floppy chips, buddy.
Speaker 5:I want a nice. I want a nice double fried. Double fried be a bad. It's stiff chips, crispy, like the chip that you hold and it it's up. It's not.
Speaker 2:I'm not flopping chippies. Yes, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 6:I discuss this a little bit I discuss this a little bit. I discuss this a little bit. I discuss this a little bit. Ah, I discuss this a little bit. I discuss this at work a lot. I like chips.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh yeah, we Gotta have a stiff chip.
Speaker 2:All right Z. Do you have a hat?
Speaker 1:Well, you already have a hat on, but maybe you could turn it around, because it is time to put on our um, sorry, we're going to put on our serious other hats here and we're going to talk about your book. Once upon a death Book, one of the days of death series, and, for the folks that you know maybe want to give this a shot and want to understand what it's about, I never chose death. Death chose me. Now I choose change.
Speaker 1:Ka Ma has had been the reaper for over a millennia. The mundane repetition of collecting souls, night after night, from an ever-increasing population was beginning to grind on him. Ka had witnessed an ocean of unique faces, all confronted with their final moments on Earth. Though different in appearance, they all showed one final emotion Fear. Ka wanted a change. He craved quiet serenity where he could perfect his yoga poses while listening to his favorite singer, michael Buble. Ka wanted nothing more than to retire and become a no one special in a nowhere special town. When strange things began happening in dead end Ohio, the question had to be asked you might be able to take the reaper away from death, but can you ever take death Away from the reaper? This was a fun, fun story. But if we for all the complexity, all the the comedy, all the interesting moments of it, do you think, if we distilled this book down to a simple premise, do you think it would be best described as a story about a hooker and a boner?
Speaker 6:How, did you get the hooker from? Where's the hooker from?
Speaker 1:The crocheting from your boy. You say hooker, like 20 times in the book.
Speaker 6:I do. Okay, yes, I went sexual. Sorry, I didn't, my bad.
Speaker 1:I would never go sexual yeah.
Speaker 6:Hooker and a boner yeah.
Speaker 1:Tell us, tell us a little bit about those characters where you came about wanting to come up with a humanized version of the grim reaper and his hobgoblin homie.
Speaker 6:I didn't come up with them. They came to me. Car came to me. He told me that he had a story to tell me and I wrote it and then a rock came along with him. Actually there's a preface to this series called death at a hotel and I write it as an anthology in a in an anthology Makes sense and that was where car was born in that particular series. It's now off the shelf because I got a lot of people who are reaper, people who are really big fans of the series, who told me that it was a little too smutty to sit in the series. So now I just give it away at book signings as a sole, like as an individual gift for buying the series. You get the reaper smut that goes along with it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and my interview with you on what the book you said that you didn't smut or sexual scenes.
Speaker 6:Well, it was an anthology, and part of having to be in this particular anthology is that they wanted a sex scene in it, obviously, and I was like I don't know right Sex scene and they went. We need you to write a sex scene in it. It has to be over 18 to be part of this and we need a hot sex scene in it. And I'm like, oh my God. So you know I'm writing cock and giggling because I don't write. And I wrote.
Speaker 5:Apparently it was a great scene, cause pretty hot, it was very hot, and it was in an elevator.
Speaker 6:So you know it was a very intense elevator scene.
Speaker 1:Now was he going down, or was he already up?
Speaker 3:He was going down. Oh my God.
Speaker 6:Like seriously.
Speaker 3:Something special coming in 2024 elevator scene, did you want? So you had a lot of interesting I don't know how to phrase this. You had a lot of numbers that seemed very meaningful and intentional. Throughout the series you had like a lot of sequences and just different codes. Almost that I picked up on. Was that intentional? Did you have to like go back and like change numbers at all to make them meaningful or significant?
Speaker 6:It's probably one of the weirdest ways that I write. Nothing is intentional, everything is circumstantial. I write as the words come to me Never make sense to me until I read it back and I think ah, that's what you meant At the time. I'm not really when I say that I'm a scribe. It really does feel like that. I use music, I tune out the world so that I can hear what the story is, and I literally just write the story. So the references that come about by car or by rock or by any of the other characters, and I don't generally make the connection until I read it back myself.
Speaker 1:So I kind of want to explore that a little bit more because. I think that's a really fascinating and kind of different approach to writing than myself and a lot of people that we've had on here. You know you said you've written over 20 books. Have you always used this kind of same style and approach and kind of just walk us through this? Because this is a really kind of cool way to go about it.
Speaker 6:There's only one book that I tried. I wrote Arcadia in six weeks, published her in three months and she was number one best seller in 24 hours. So I tried to write the second book and at that time somebody said to me you have to plot, you can't just sit and write. You're a new author, you know you take all this advice from different people that you meet in the community and they said you have to plot, you have to work it out, you can't just sit there and write. That's wrong.
Speaker 6:So I tried, and I tried to plot this book out and work out what they were going to do. I had all this post it notes up on the window of my office and the voices stopped. The story stopped. I couldn't write Like I knew the character she had introduced herself to me. Raven was there but I couldn't write it because I was trying to get her to follow this plotting that I had done and it wasn't until I went fuck you, what do you want to say? That the story was written in four weeks? And every other book I just surrender to the characters and I just write the story that they tell me to write.
Speaker 1:It's beautiful. I love it. Dina is a unashamed pancer herself, so you are. You are speaking her language right now.
Speaker 3:I love it all day. I cannot plot. I hate writing. When I plot, it just doesn't make sense. I have the biggest.
Speaker 1:ABD brain and I have to plot. Yeah, I know I plot nothing else in my life except for writing. I am the biggest hypocrite.
Speaker 3:I want to know what inspired how you built cause. So like, for those that haven't read it yet, he has flesh by day. And then is it 7pm, or is it sunset and sunrise or he goes to straight skeleton. Yeah, he's a boner, he gets a. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he gets. He, just yeah, he gets a boner, it's flesh dissolves. So I want to know where you thought of that, cause I hadn't heard of something like that.
Speaker 6:It dissolves off him at ripples and dissolves off his flesh. He like like, the energy around him just shimmers and he becomes a skeleton which he always likes to get his pants on because he doesn't want anybody to see his ischis.
Speaker 6:Oh, that's what that means he's very, very protective of his bits and pieces. He always has his pants on and his suspenders to hold them up, cause otherwise they don't stay. I know that this is not the typical way that reapers have been represented. They make them. Reapers are typically very scary characters and very intimidating characters. I didn't present like that to me. He was very adamant about the fact that he does not ever kill anybody. He is, he is a Uber for the soul. He simply escorts you from A to B. He never kills anybody and really doesn't like the way that Hollywood has painted him to be the bad guy.
Speaker 1:And I think that that's like a really important thing because I like putting your own twists on. You know these types of characters and I'm a big sucker for mythology. I love you know. Obviously I write about cryptids and things like that. But you know, you have sirens in here, you have old school, you know alchemists. Obviously you have the Grim Reaper, hobgoblins.
Speaker 6:Dead End is a little town in Ohio that is known throughout the world of the supernatural as being the most tolerant and understanding towns of humans. They don't look twice. The humans really don't give a shit. So you know, if things mysteriously happen in the town, the humans don't really register it. So it allows the supernatural who want to live on the plane of earth and live within the humans to accommodate themselves, to acclimatize to it before they moved into somewhere else on earth if they chose to. But it's generally the first port of call as far as human interaction goes Is Dead End.
Speaker 3:I noticed the name of your character. All the names of your characters were very significant, but specifically Ka, His first and last name. Could you say those for me please?
Speaker 6:Ka Ma, ka Ma, mr Ka Ma, as in Karma.
Speaker 3:Was that supposed to hold some sort of meaning for his character? Was that supposed to be like representative of something throughout the story that you did intentionally for the reader?
Speaker 6:That's the name that he came with. I really wish I had some sort of really deep meaning for way that I came up with it, but it was just the way that he came up. He sat next to me and he shook my hand. He said hi, I'm Karma and I've got a story to tell and I'm gone. Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:It was funny because I actually started reading this, the book, just as I was watching an episode of the Big Bang Theory where they were playing a board game called something of Ka and they pronounced it Ka-ah. And the entire time I was laughing as I was reading this, because I know that it's Ka, ka-ah, but I in my head I was like Ka-ah, ka-ah.
Speaker 1:I might bring that into the next book, ka-ah so one of my favorite things about how you write is just your prose style. I mean, it's got a lot of cleverness to it, a lot of turn of phrases, a lot of puns, a lot of wordplay. You know a couple like little ones that just stuck out to me just as I was reading. You know we had the crisp white shirt that clung to his muscles like a damsel to her hero. Or else we had my personal favorite one because I know that both me and Sean can relate to this which is Ka laughed as he pressed end, he picked up his burger with two hands and devoured it with all the pleasure it deserved, and I just I love those little turns of phrases, little kind of clever things that you do with your wordplay. Is that something that you know just kind of comes naturally? Is it something that you, like, have heard in prior conversation, or is it just a spur of the moment? You're like, yeah, that shirt would cling to him like a damsel in distress, ka-ah.
Speaker 6:I'm going to be the most boring guest you've ever had because I just I just write the words. I very rarely go back and change anything. I don't. I just you connect, write the words, I don't. I don't have any explanation for it, I don't honest, you connect with your characters very deeply, and that's something to be said.
Speaker 6:Yeah, and I don't honestly like when I come in on a new day and I want to write, I get some time and we're all busy parents, so getting time to write is also, you know, hard to do, and I read back the last paragraph before I start again. That's about as much as revision as I do when I'm writing, and even then most times I'm like oh, that's handed All right, don't know where it came from, don't remember writing it, but I just write.
Speaker 1:Fair enough. Well, we got time for one more quick one, and then we'll get into the segment that Dean has always, incredibly, prepared for. What was it that appealed to you? You know, you're, you're, you know you're an honestly writer. You've never seen snow. What was it that appealed to you about the location of dead end Ohio? Of all the fucking places in the world, why Ohio?
Speaker 6:Because it's in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of nowhere I write to an American audience. I do make that a conscious choice, that I write to an American audience. Most of my sales are American based, although this series is quite popular in Japan which is oddly and Denmark. It's bizarre, but I love it. Um, that, I wanted it. So I wanted it to be in America at some, at, in some area. So I wanted something that was remote and yet, um, what didn't exist, because it has to be a fictional town, is a fictional town in a real state. So I because you know, I can't go there, so I don't want to people to write me and go okay, well, that street doesn't exist and this street doesn't exist and blah, blah, blah, but I don't want that. So it's a fictional town in a real state. So I and I liked the location of it. It's a hot air and sort of area and in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 1:Makes it feels a little out back to you yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah, one last quick one.
Speaker 1:Cause, now that we got time, since Dean was out here peeing, um, I want to know. Something that really struck me about car is, even though you know, you would think, as a immortal, all-powerful being, he has a sense of respect and care about the human lives around him. Like you said, he is not a killer, he is the Uber of souls. But even just when it comes to respect for women, um, you know, having a very measured approach, that everything he does is not flashing, his power is not being domineering, except when he has to in order to protect others. You know, what was that conscious decision to? To bring that level of humbleness and respect to an incredibly powerful character.
Speaker 6:Cause I wanted him to be, or he presented to me as soft. I wanted to show his softness, his. You know Hollywood portrays him as being this big, scary monster and you know my kid gets I'm an 11 year old he's on the spectrum and he gets very disorientated by these sorts of portrayals. I wanted to show him that characters can be all sorts of different ways.
Speaker 6:So when Karl presented to me as being this very awkward, socially awkward, socially weird character that he wanted to go and immerse himself into the human culture and he had no way like, no real way on how, because he can't feel emotions. He doesn't have that connection. He doesn't know what's sad or happy or anything feels like. Or he knows what fear looks like, but he doesn't know what the other ones, because whenever he's met somebody or to take in their soul, that's what he sees is fear or anger. He never sees the happy or the that side of it. So I wanted to show the other side to him. And, of course, when he gets a job because you've got to earn a living, even if you're the reaper it allows him to really connect with the, the living and not the dead.
Speaker 1:I love that. That's a fantastic interpretation. Well, you know what Z you survived. We can take off our serious author hats and get back to the frivolity that we started with. So it is time for a segment that Dina is always incredibly prepared for off the wall questions. All right, oh goodness.
Speaker 3:Okay Z um and the Phantom of the Opera come face to face with each other. Are they friends or enemies?
Speaker 6:Is he? Is he fleshy or is he bony? Is he got his boner on? Because if he's meeting when he's a boner, then he's taking the soul. So there would there would be a a, a a is he fleshy or is he bony?
Speaker 6:If he's bony, it's a business transaction because he's doing fleshy for sure. If he's fleshy, I think he'd be quite friendly. He'd probably, you know, stand back a little bit and admire the cape, because he does. He wears that, you know, the cloak of his own. So he probably admired that a little bit. But I think that'd be friends.
Speaker 1:I love it. So, z, we've talked about a little bit when I came on your podcast, uh, but I think it is important that you have a platform right here for the American audience. I need you to spread awareness and how to survive the dangerous drop bear of Australia. Please inform the public.
Speaker 6:The drop bear. Don't go walking out at night time, sunset, sunset is generally, uh, drop bear territory, so you certainly don't want to go walking underneath the gum trees, uh, at sunset, and if you start to smell eucalyptus, run.
Speaker 1:What is the most dangerous drop bear attack you've ever witnessed personally.
Speaker 6:I have not witnessed one, but I've seen the scars down the cows' rump where the big flesh torn, gaping wounds from where the drop bear has landed and torn down the the cows leg.
Speaker 1:Makes sense. No, that's perfect and I'm right there with you. Thank you for spreading this incredibly important PSA. Um Z, would you say that we're friends still Like we, we, we, we.
Speaker 6:we like each other Like we're.
Speaker 1:we're cool, right now.
Speaker 6:Well, I like you. Do you like me? I want you to keep that in mind.
Speaker 1:I I freaking adore you. Yeah, dina, dina, do not so discord, all right. Uh, I just want you to keep that energy in mind. Um, for for this next segment, um, because each week we delve into some of the most cringe-worthy erotic literature in history, often pan-picked by the literary review, a renowned British literary magazine. In a segment dubbed cringey copulation, we showcase real excerpts. There it is we showcase real excerpts from real books that were genuinely intended to be taken seriously. This week's passage comes from Saved by the Grim Reaper, a monster erotica by Lilith Liana, and will be narrated by our guest, uh Z.
Speaker 1:Lilith Liana writes what she loves monster fantasy, and sci-fi erotica born and raised in Belgium, she devours ebooks as if it were, as if it heals her in her day job. She loves to organize, plan and mix, devours, baby plan and make schedules for other people. But when night falls she can let loose their fantasies, which star all kinds of monsters and human coupling sliding to them Twitter DMC.
Speaker 6:Oh my god.
Speaker 5:Don't read ahead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can't read ahead. Yeah, you said that you never got into the spicy side. Well Z welcome.
Speaker 6:Oh, okay, All right, Kyle, you're just gonna have to stay for a minute. Yeah, you just start reading unfortunately.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right, she put the boner away.
Speaker 6:All right, bone it down. Bone it down, all right. Can I have to use my double, double five number, my, like my 1-800 number voice? Okay, god, all right, yeah, please.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, definitely need that.
Speaker 6:His eyes burned brighter and with one move he dropped his black robe. He was naked underneath it, and boy did he have the right enough me for me. He was absolutely ripped. His muscular shoulders and his abs led my eyes lower to his impressive cock that seemed to harden and grew as I looked at it. It was massive, and when it reached its hardened state it looked like it was too big to fit. The only thing that hinted at him not being human was the color of his skin. It was the same color as his skull, an unnaturally bony white. That showed that his body was as monstrous as his face.
Speaker 6:The thing that impressed me the most was the ridges. I was pretty sure normal cops didn't have those. They circled his cock up like a spiral to the tip. Immediately, I wondered how it would feel inside of me. Can I touch it? I asked. My voice was a me a whisper? Oh, touch it, I asked. My voice was a me a whisper. He nodded once and, with his consent, I slid down to my knees before him. Oh God, I hang on. I lost it. Oh my God, I was so excited. I slid down to my knees before him. I was mesmerized by it. I lifted my hand, touching him carefully. His cock jumped up and I let out a small gasp. Was that normal?
Speaker 2:Ranged for her pleasure.
Speaker 1:Dina, what are your thoughts on a giant, massive ribbed, grim reaper penis Ranged?
Speaker 2:Ranged specifically yeah.
Speaker 3:This is red Like somebody from the cult had sex for the first time and didn't know what sex was, and we're like, can I touch it, come?
Speaker 1:on Dina, do the thing, Do the thing.
Speaker 3:Is this thing on?
Speaker 1:Z. How would you say his anatomy compares to Khan Maz anatomy? Is it similar in size and visual appeal?
Speaker 6:I don't know he wants me to be talking about that In bone form.
Speaker 5:No, Like no In fleshy form.
Speaker 6:When I wrote the sex scene in the elevator, it wasn't that that he was using, so I'm not really quite sure that only asked.
Speaker 1:That only leaves me the question.
Speaker 2:You just have to read and find out pal.
Speaker 3:She said he went down so he didn't need it.
Speaker 2:But no ridges needed.
Speaker 5:No ridges. And also for backstories.
Speaker 1:The main heroine in this story that Z just wrote was a virgin and had to have sex with a grim reaper, so she didn't become the wife of Satan. That's just very important backstory.
Speaker 6:And that I read. I didn't write it.
Speaker 1:Yes, that you read. To be very, very clear, she is not Lilith Liana, all right. Well, it is time, z. You've survived, you've done an incredible job, you've shown the world the light of boners, but now it is time. We have a proud tradition on this show. You've got exactly one second to pitch this book. You can lie, cheat, seduce, threaten, steal, do whatever you need to do to get people to buy this book, but you can only do it in one second and then afterwards, you know, give you a full elevator pitch. So you ready, z? I'm going to count you in.
Speaker 6:Oh the pressure. Don't do this to authors all the time and I hate it. Oh the pressure of it. Oh, I can't.
Speaker 2:It's so badly to be on the other side of this. I'm so sorry this makes me so happy.
Speaker 6:You got one second Z Dina. It's really not so fun on this side of the fence. A bina, that's unexpected. Boners and suspenders. An unexpected bina.
Speaker 2:That's a prize.
Speaker 1:Unexpected boner. There's the one second pitch.
Speaker 2:Dina, I just want to say I totally caught your moment where you were like elevator when he said elevator pitch. I was muted. You didn't hear it, but I was stifling my laughter.
Speaker 1:You were there All right, z. Give the folks a reason. Give us the full sexy elevator pitch on why they need to check this book out and check out the series.
Speaker 6:Check out the days of death series to find a fresh and new take on an old character. It's everything that you think you know about the repass. Throw it out.
Speaker 3:I have a question before we go Z because Becquo Westrop will not let me live this down If I don't ask you to say, oh, no, Cleo.
Speaker 6:Please To say what Sorry.
Speaker 2:This feels like a trap. Why are you doing this?
Speaker 3:Oh no Cleo, oh no Cleo To say oh no Cleo.
Speaker 6:Oh no.
Speaker 1:Cleo Beautiful.
Speaker 3:There we go. That's all that I know, don't know what that was all about, but thank you for that, Dina.
Speaker 5:I have a question for Z before we go.
Speaker 3:Thank you, you're welcome. You'll find out in post.
Speaker 2:Yeah Z, who was your favorite to have on your show? Daniel or Dina?
Speaker 1:Stop it. Dina's the right answer. Dina's the right answer.
Speaker 6:If you're going to put my back against the wall and make me answer. Dina has me at the dinosaur wall.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she fucking does. Yeah, that's a win.
Speaker 1:All right, so so hon, so Z. I need you to put on your earmuffs really quick. Just put them right here. We're going to have a quick Yep, All right guys?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, you've already decided no guys.
Speaker 1:Are we doing this? Dina? Are we doing this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah All right, let's add a few more animations for me to add in post. Perfect, all right, let's go.
Speaker 1:Let's go All right. Z, it is our proud honor to bestow your book the no Space Bell Prize, because we didn't hear no Bell and we fucking loved your book.
Speaker 6:Thank you so much. It's a very proud CIW award.
Speaker 2:Daniel, do you have any comps or anything that you can give for this book?
Speaker 1:I mean honestly, because I haven't read a ton of this genre. There's not really a comp I can give you, but I can tell you that it's got incredible writing. I mean just so funny. Everything has just a clever pun. The conversations the characters have is great. It appeals to the boner in me. I had loved this book. I flew through it. You can ask the guys I never physically read books anymore. If I have to, I listen to it Like I mean, I love listening to audiobooks. Sometimes, if there's no audiobook, I just put on, like Siri, to have me read. I read your whole book with my eyeball.
Speaker 2:Z I don't think you underestimate Z.
Speaker 3:I'm so excited.
Speaker 6:Thank you so much it's a huge compliment. And I am happy to send a paperback to one of your readers. Should you set up a comp for it, just tell me the winner and I will sign a paperback and I'll put a little bit of swag in it and I'll send it off.
Speaker 1:Dina, what are your thoughts on it? Quick, because I got to give my little piece in here, but I know you freaking love this too.
Speaker 3:No, yeah, it was really good. I couldn't really think of a direct comp, other than things that, like, I've beta read but never got published. So I mean, I guess it kind of reads like a quirky, kind of cozy version of Vampire Diaries in my opinion, but it's very cozy and quirky. Well, it's a cozy mystery.
Speaker 6:It is a cozy mystery Taking itself too seriously. I really enjoyed it. Yeah, that's the genre, that it's.
Speaker 2:Dina was a little scared at the beginning.
Speaker 3:Right but yeah, I just couldn't think of another. Yeah, but because?
Speaker 5:cozy is my core, or anything scary it's not scary.
Speaker 6:But cozy mysteries are typically the female lead. It's always a female. It's a female, an older lady, generally I think Agatha Christie, those sorts of things. They are your typical cozy mysteries. But I buck the trend with doing a male and keep it that way, because you know that's a boner.
Speaker 2:We need more male representation.
Speaker 6:We made great jokes, boner jokes. I have boner bumper stickers. That's what I'll put in the paperback. I have a boner bumper sticker too.
Speaker 1:I freaking love it. Send me one of those, I will pay you for a boner.
Speaker 2:Bumper sticker Correct A boner bumper sticker.
Speaker 6:All right, I'll send you all three of your boner bumper sticker and a paperback to the winner, no problem.
Speaker 1:You know what Best use of boner in a sentence, and I think that that can be the winner of your book. I think that we should put that out to the audience, to give us your best boner. I think that that could see nothing poor or uncomfortable, or Tweeted at us or put it in the comments below. Yep, absolutely.
Speaker 2:The best final wins.
Speaker 1:And guys Z, you've got so many best boner wins and Z, you've got so many incredible books. Like you said, you've written 20. You guys can check out Once Upon a Death book, one of the Days of Death series. It's available now, available on Amazon, anywhere where you want to get books. You can also check out her website books by oh my God, by Zintra, by Zintra, Books by DZINTRAcom. Like in the description. Absolutely so, Z. Tell the folks where they can find you. Give us all the info of where you are in the social media world.
Speaker 6:You can find me on Twitter, predominantly, or Instagram they're generally the two fight moms that I play on and, of course, booksbycentracom. I'm always contactable through there, so I'm generally around. Send me a message, say hello.
Speaker 1:Yep, check out WhatTheBook podcast and talk wordy to me. She is everywhere. She is an absolute joy, one of our absolute favorites out here. Dina, where can the folks find you?
Speaker 3:You can find me on Twitter at DinaSourceD. That's D like D's nudes D.
Speaker 1:And producer, sean, where can the folks find you? You can find me on Twitter at ShaysoulD. What are you having for dinner tonight? Wingstop, baby, let's go. And you can find me on Twitter at, not a sponsor. Danq writes thing. That's DanQ writes thing singular.
Speaker 2:It's Dank, and he doesn't have wings because he likes chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1:The real wings. Boneless wings Z. You can back me up. Boneless wings, superior wings.
Speaker 6:I can just see any ones I can eat with cutlery.
Speaker 5:Let's go.
Speaker 1:Another one for the fan Guys. It's been another great episode of Don't Make a Weird Podcast. We'll see you all next time. We love you all, jazz hands.
Speaker 2:Don't make it weird With Daniel Quigley, denosaurus and Sean Holden, produced and edited by me, sean Holden Team Song by Amaria, incidental music and sound effects provided by Voice Mod, as well as the YouTube Audio Library. You can rate and review this show on Spotify, apple Podcasts, good Pods and wherever else you download your podcasts. Got a question for Daniel or Dina? Call the Don't Make it Weird hotline at 347-69-Weird. That's 347-699-3473. And leave us a message. It could be featured on a future episode and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Don't Make it Weird on YouTube for the video presentation or on your favorite podcast app for the audio-only version of the show. Thank you so much and we love you.
