Unrequited Love And Boundaries Between Friends

Someone writes us convinced he’s “losing his boyfriend” and planning a proposal to save the relationship. Then the twist hits: the guy he’s chasing emails too, and he’s blunt about it. He says they are not a couple, he isn’t gay, and what Jamie calls romance is actually friendship. From there, we slow the whole situation down and look at what’s really happening when feelings turn into entitlement.

If you’ve ever been stuck on someone who doesn’t choose you, this conversation will hit home. Listen, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review if the show helps you. What’s your rule for handling rejection without losing yourself?

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Transcript

Welcome Back And Upload Issues

Jamie’s Letter And The “Relationship”

Chase Responds And Sets Boundaries

Reality Check On Consent

Support Without Forcing Identity

Jealousy And The Cost Of Control

Rejection, Self-Worth, And Moving On

Keep The Friendship Or Lose It

Therapy, Parents, And Next Steps

Closing Thanks And How To Reach Me

Outro Music And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Yes, yes, yes. How y'all doing out there? Hope everybody's having a good day today. It's all good here. Gotta go get some more vape juice. Yeah, I know I love my vape. Gotta get my fix on. Yes, that there's a shit right there. Okay, how's everybody doing out there? Y'all having a good day, good week, whatever. I know I am. It's been a good week all the way around. Okay. Uh first off, I received some emails from some loyal listeners saying what happened to last week's show. I thought it was uploaded, but apparently there was some technical difficulties, so um I'll have to uh get that show back up. But nevertheless, I'm here. Um not really back, but I did a show last week without you guys. I'm sorry, but luckily the show didn't take, so I guess it wasn't meant for me to be. So I guess I gotta do the show again, so whatever. Yes, that thing behind me that's for the backdrop, so I can filter out all the you know the people in the traffic and shit going back and forth, but whatever. Any event, I want to welcome y'all to the show. The show is called Let's Talk About It. I am the icon, where we have a excuse me. We have a letter from I wasn't gonna do this show to be honest with you. I was gonna say the hell with it, but I think this show has sort of like two parts to it. It's like two people talking. So the first part is the this person that's talking, then the second part is gonna be the person that responded because luckily for me, I didn't know this person responded until I read the email, and I was like, Who the hell or what the hell is this? So apparently, uh this letter is titled He's back on the Opposite Team, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. But when I read the letter, I was like, Really? Really, seriously? So, in any event, before we get into the letter, want to say to my listeners, thank you guys for reaching out to me. Uh, all is well. Just like I said, there were some technical difficulties last week with the upload. Um, the upload didn't take, not sure why, but nevertheless, we're gonna get that show back up and running, and we are gonna go from there. So, um, how y'all doing out there? Y'all doing alright? Y'all good? I'm great. This weather's been kind of crazy, up and down, snow, ice. One minute we're having 80-degree weather, and then we're back down to the damn 30s and the teens. Weird shit, we're having, I tell you. Ah, it's that Midwest weather, though. It is what it is. So, without further ado, let's go ahead and get into this letter. Because um, hopefully, y'all can make some sense out of it. Because I was damn sure trying to make some sense out of it. But nevertheless, it was uh quite a weird read, and you will see why. So, without further ado, let's get into it. This letter is entitled He's Back on the Opposite Team. Ugh geez. Hi con my name is Jamie, and I'm 19 years old. I'm from San Jose, California. Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years, right out of high school, and those days were fun, but I kind of wish I can get them back. I'm writing it because I feel that I might be losing my boyfriend to another, and I need to understand on how I can keep him happy because he is the one that I want to marry. Okay, so much. So I'm thinking about proposing to him, but I don't know because I know I'm losing him. I'm trying to keep this shit together, y'all. I'm losing him, so I need some advice. I need some advice too because I have found some rather damning information, and he has been seeing someone else, and I'm not too happy about it. I've been nothing but a good man to my man. I need to keep him happy. He needs to be with me because we love each other, and I know that he's just confused about what he wants. Icon, I have Icon, he has been so much sorry, I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying to keep it together. Icon, he has been so much time with he spends so much time with his best friend, and she's really getting on my damn nerves. I know that they have been best friends since birth, or so he says, and that's not the issue. The issue that he spends all this time with her and their family are really good friends. I suspect the family doesn't know that he is gay because when I came, because when I come around, he introduced me as his friend. I'm really getting tired of him doing that. Because we've done more as a couple than any other couple, and it's time for his friends to know the truth. I'm tired of hiding, I'm tired, I'm tired of hiding this from me and his family. So I talked to him about it, needs to say he wasn't happy about hold on. So I talked to him about it, and needs to say he wasn't happy about he comes talking about he's not gay. That's just me being infatuated with ill. But I told him how I felt, and he said, Dude, I'm not gay. Why the hell would I be? I was pissed. I sat the shit out of him, and and what the hell was he talking about? He said, Dude, I'm not gay. We just hang out as friends. So I asked if he was ashamed of me in front of his parents. He replied, Jamie, what the hell are you talking about? So clearly, Icon, he's confused. This is why I need your help. So I can claim what is mine. I also copied him on this email, but wanted him to know that I was emailing you. So icon, please help me get my man back. You know, when I read this letter, I was like, I thought I thought Jamie, I thought Jamie was a girl, but Jamie is one of those names that can go universal, unisex name, can go for a male or female. So clearly when I read this letter, I was like, get my man back. So in any event, as I said before, this letter has two parts to it. Um, the first part is going to be Jamie's side of the story, uh, needs to say. But I have some questions for Jamie. So, and I asked him this is the guy you're seeing in the closet, he said he doesn't know. And I asked him, So, are you truly a couple? And he was like, in my mind, yes. I was like, Well, what the hell? What does that mean that in your mind that you're a couple? What makes you sure that he's yours? Because he's always doing nice things for me, and we hang out quite often. Okay. The number one million dollar question was I asked, were you are you having sex with him? He said, Well, not really. And I said, What does that mean? Not really. He's gay, but we haven't done anything. But you said you guys done more as a couple. Okay. So I don't understand when you say you're a couple if he's never done anything done anything with you. Because he said, I can feel that he wants to be with me, he's just scared. So let's make that make sense. So that's gonna be the first part of this letter. Um, before we get into the other half of the person that written me that wrote me this letter, it's kind of diabolical that you would think somebody is yours, that you think somebody feels a certain way, and clearly they don't feel the way that you feel. I don't get it. I don't know what's in this guy's mind, or Jamie for that matter. I think you're a little bit off the reservation. Not a little bit, you're kind of far off on this one. So, in any event, um, I felt that Mr. Jamie was confused. He's confused about what's going on, and I'm gonna read the the other side. This guy's name is Chase, and as I said, I wasn't gonna do this letter, but Chase written me, he sent me an email like three days later, after I looked at Jamie's email, because I wasn't gonna do this this show because his letter was too short. Number one, number two, I didn't really have much much information to go on to, but Chase has kind of put some things in perspective, and Chase is the guy that um Jamie is chasing. So, um without further ado, this is Chase's response in response to uh Jamie's letter. Because again, he said he copied him on it, which I'm not even sure why he did that, but thank god he did, it just saves me a lot of a lot of going back and forth. Um this letter goes as follows. Uh hey dude, icon is it? Yeah, that's that's it. That's me. It's icon, yeah. It's good, it's good, it's good, it's whatever it's whatever. My name is Chase. I received this email that Jamie wrote to you about me. And forgive me, but I've never heard of your show. But I felt the need to send this email because Jamie is some screwed-up way, thinks we're a couple. Yes, he does. Dude, I want to set the record straight. I'm not gay, nor have I ever been. I think Jamie's just looking for his first love or being gay, uh, because he just came out two years ago after high school. Okay, yes, we are friends. I would consider him to be him and Angel to be my best friends, because I knew Angel before I knew Jamie. But we really didn't know or meet Jamie until middle school. And though I'm not talking shit about him, he was definitely a loner when we met and when we met him. He was having trouble making friends because he's socially awkward. That part I can definitely see. But as the years went on, I'm attracted to my BFF Angel, and he knows that I'm not sure why he thought that we were together or I've ever given an indication I was gay or that I liked dudes. Oh shit, wait, could it be the nights that I stayed at his place? Hmm. Or the time that we wrestled with our clothes on. I'm not sure why you felt the need to point that out, but whatever. But to be honest, Icon, he's a great friend, and I guess I just missed the signs that he would give me, like, when we slept over at his place. Most of the times he would wake up with his underwear on and nothing else. I'm sorry, y'all, I'm trying to keep straight face. Most of the time he would wake up with his underwears on and nothing else because he's an only child and he told me that he gets cold at night. So at that time I just thought it was his lifestyle. I didn't read too much into it. But now I probably should have noticed. But to be honest, all I could think about at that time was Angel. But what's crazy is that I've talked to Jamie plenty of times about Angel, and this was a s this is at the start of high school. We all graduated together and we still remain friends. Even though he has feelings for me, I must let him know that I'm clearly not the one for him and that he will find somebody. But I have to be honest, he doesn't take rejection that well. I remember when his mom told him that Lady Gaga wasn't gay, and dude fell into a deep depression. He didn't like come out of his room for a week. Over Lady Gaga? Jesus. Come to think of it, I'm sure. I'm not sure what the ending result was. Hell dude, come to think of it, I'm not even sure why he's gay. Because he had a girl that was somewhat similar to him, but then again, she moved to another state. So we confronted him, so we we confronted him and we thought that he was okay, but I guess he decided to try the same sex. Dude, help my bro out if you can, Chase. So Oh boy, I tell you. Oh my gosh. Okay, so it's crazy because Jamie is clearly he's on some man, he's on some shit. I mean, I've never heard of this before. I mean, usually when people come out and say that they're gay, their best friends are supportive of him. And I guess that's what Chase is trying to do. Chase is trying to be supportive of his friend Jamie. He's not talking shit about him, he's not discrediting him, but he's simply not gay. Um, clearly the signs uh that Jamie were putting out, Chase clearly missed. Because Chase, which I'm assuming that Angel is his best friend, and that's who he wants to be with. Now, for Mr. Jamie, you I don't know what to say about this because I mean you guys must just graduated just recently. I mean, I don't understand how you could think that I don't get this. It sounds like you're gonna need some serious therapy because it sounds like you're trying to lay claim to somebody that is clearly not interested in you. And Jamie, yes, I'm talking to you right now because clearly your friends are there for you to support you, but I don't think you want that kind of support. I think you're going to try to you're trying to be reckless about this. You're trying to lay claim to somebody who you don't even have any claim to. You guys said you've been a couple for two years, and how does that even play out? I'm trying to figure out how that even that sounds like some single white female type of shit. But the crazy thing is, Jamie, it feels like you put your whole heart into this letter and I think that you're trying to get me to convince Chase that he should be with you. That's not how this show works. This show works, is the what I can give you the best sound advice that I've clearly can for you, and I honestly think that you're gonna need some help because I think that what you're doing is not only I wouldn't say diabolical, it is diabolical. Because it's like you have some kind of I don't know the words I'm looking for, but dude is clearly losing his mind. I mean, I don't understand how you could think that you and Chase were in a relationship. I mean, I get it for socially awkward, I get that you may have had a flame with a female, and that's the thing. Here's the thing if you dated somebody that was somewhat similar to you, but it didn't work out, or she moved away. I'm trying to figure out how you became gay. I don't know what oh, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know how you became gay. I don't know what led you to think that you say that you were gay and that you surely thought that Lady Gaga was gay. Lady Gaga is not gay, she is as a whole husband, and just because people sing songs about gay people doesn't necessarily mean that they're gay. I don't get it neither, but whatever. Katy Perry kissed a girl and she liked it. That was a big deal. She's not even gay, whatever. In any event, you're not losing somebody because you never had him, you're not even losing them. Hang on for a minute. You're not losing somebody because you didn't really have him. You have him as a best friend, and I would say that you should keep him as your best friend because you don't want to lose a friend like that. I mean, Chase is clearly not down, he's not disrespecting you, he's just saying that you clearly have issues, and that the signs you put out that you clearly missed. So I honestly think that you should I'm not sure what you're doing right now after high school, but and I think that's what the hardest part is for some people. You know, I can't really say that for myself because me and my uh late wife were together through high school, and after we got out of high school, well, we got married in high school, I think we got married her senior year, but of course, that's a lot different times than what it is today. You know, today is a lot different than what you guys do versus now. But I think that it sounds like you're hinging your whole life on Chase, and I think that's a bad idea because Chase clearly likes somebody, and he's even told you that he likes his best friend Angel, and you knew about this, but you seem to be somewhat jealous of the relationship when they even included you as their friend, as their as their their their third best friend. It's not to say that you're third wheeling, because I don't even think that's the case. I think they saw somebody that was potentially socially awkward, couldn't make any friends, and they befriended you for that. And I think that deserves some points, Mr. Jamie. Because you don't want to lose friends like that. Because they're supporting you. Chase wants to support you. I'm pretty sure Angel wants to support you. I'm not sure what your beef is with Miss Angel. If they've been best friends before you, then hey. And if their families are really good friends, then hey. But clearly, clearly, I hope this letter finds you in somewhat good good taste and a good form. Because I don't want you going to this man's family and making a complete ass of yourself, which I fear is what you're gonna do. So you said you're gonna wait for my response. Well, here's my response. I hope you tuned in to the show, and I hope you're listening right now. Don't do it because you're gonna get yourself hurt, and the whole going through a depression or the lady gaga, um, because you because you found out she wasn't gay, that's not really to go into a depression. There's a lot of people out here who you know that are actors or singers that are that portrayed that that's they don't say that they're gay, they sing about I don't know, but it's different. So just because you sing a song about gay people doesn't necessarily mean that person is gay, they're just supporting your lifestyle and that they're understanding that your lifestyle is and that they're trying to fight harder for your rights. That's basically what I'm interpreting as. That's what I'm going with. But I think what they are doing for you, not to you, is commendable because this letter could have gone the other way. They could have been downplaying you, they could have been talking bad about you, they could have been saying all these other things, but they're saying clearly nice things about you. And the nice thing is that you're still their friend, and that they want to be your friend, and that if they want if they want to continue to be their friend, that's what you should be, is a good friend to them. Because let's be honest, I you know a lot of people thought I was gay, um, because I grew up with women, and I've been hit on by a few gay people in my day, but I just tell them I'm not gay. I don't know if I broke any hearts over that. I mean, clearly I don't know, but people till to this very day think that I'm gay, and clearly I'm not gay. But I've had I'm not gonna say I've had my share of heartbreak, but I have never experienced you know the the same sex. Now I've had friends that are gay, or associates that are gay, not friends, because I don't really have any friends, but at the same time, not ever did I decide I want to sample something from the other side of the bar and be like, huh, I can work with this. Yeah, yeah, no, that's not me. And there's no disrespect to gay people. There's no disrespect if you're gay and listen to my show. I just that's just not the lifestyle for me. And I'm not saying I'm being forced to be gay, but it's a choice. Some people are either born with it, or some people come out as that lifestyle, and that's that's clearly what it is. So I don't have a problem if you're gay. Um, you know, my daughter, she just told me that she was gay, and I still love her just the same. So, but I mean for her, I don't think she's gonna have a problem with making any friends because she's pretty popular in school. But in any event, I think, Jamie, that you need to find some. Uh would definitely say you need to try some therapy because I think you're gonna go down a road and you're gonna get yourself hurt, and you're gonna be upset about what Chase is probably gonna say to you, and you can't get upset. I'm not sure why you even would slap the man. I mean, he's not gay, he's not gay. You smacking him is not gonna make him any more not gay, it's just probably just gonna piss him off. The crazy thing is he didn't even mention in the letter what he did to you or that you did get smacked. So I'm assuming that's water under the bridge, and that's a good friend, you know. To have somebody like that, um, that speaks volume because in this day and age, you smack somebody, you're allowed to get your ass whooped. I mean, let's be real clear, let's be honest. So, I think that what you the way you're going about this, I think you should just let it be. And I think if they're supporting you, you should continue to support them because they're trying to be a good friend to you. And friends, as you know, in this day and age are very hard to come by. You don't know who is who, you don't know who's doing what, you don't know if somebody is your friend one minute, they're stab you in the back the next. So please take heed to what I'm saying and understand that even though Chase is not the one for you, that's not saying you're not gonna find somebody for you, but it sounds like you're too. I don't want to say you're too needy, but it sounds like you're too jealous, you're needy and jealous at the same time, and I'm not even sure why the hell that even is, because you're laying claim to somebody who is clearly not gay, who has told you he's not gay, and you're gonna try to change this man's mind. I'm praying that you don't do anything stupid. Uh, thank god y'all don't live together, or if y'all do, if you haven't said y'all did or y'all didn't, but I think they're being very supportive of you. I think you have a good set of friends, and I think if they decided to take you by the hand in middle school and bring you into their circle and not like disrespect you, I think that's the you should show them the same curse that they are showing to you. Because let's be honest, this could have gone a totally different way, you know. I mean, you're talking about proposing to somebody who's not even on the same team as you, he's definitely on the opposite team. He's definitely, I mean, definitely on the opposite team, but I think that you, my friend, need to come to some kind of realization and understand that you need to find out what makes Jamie Jamie. You need to be happy, excuse me. Jamie needs to be happy for himself. Jamie doesn't need to like go out there and just put himself out there. I'm not sure what you guys are doing after high school. I'm hoping that you guys are working or if you're furthering your career, but that to me should be the main focus. If you guys are out of high school, if you guys are working, and if you're focusing on your lifestyles and what you want to do, I think that should be the primary goal. But again, I don't want to sound like a dad, but you know, it sounds like you guys have just graduated. If you're 19, it sounds like yeah, you just graduated. And I'm not even saying that you're confused or anything, maybe he's just not the one for you. Well, clearly he's not the one for you. Clearly, he's not. So let's get that out the way. So, what you should be doing is just trying to do something to make yourself feel better, do something to make yourself feel like getting your self-esteem back. Because I've got a feeling that when he tells you no, he says no, you're gonna either have a whole fit or you're gonna go into a depression that is unwarranted or unwanted. Because really, you shouldn't go into a depression if he told you he's not gay, but you want to keep forcing it on him. I don't know what you expect for Chase to do. I don't get it. I don't get it. Um, the person who I really wanted to hear from would be Miss Angel, but I don't think she's I think she's just leaving it up to you guys to work this out, and that's probably a good thing. But I think that what she is what you are doing to your best friends is just it's not right, you know. You gotta learn to let shit go. So, and here's the thing in life, you're gonna get rejected so many times, but that doesn't deter you from who you are, that doesn't put you into a downward spiral, it doesn't put you through a depression, it just makes you stronger, and you know you gotta do better. You're gonna have a lot of heartache in life, we all do, and the important thing is that you just get back up and you rise from it. There's no need to go into a depression, you need to spiral out of control, or do none of that shit. Because when you do that, then it's like you're taking yourself down a deeper, deeper hole, and there's no need for that. I'm pretty sure you guys are some fine people, but this letter that you wrote is just really ridiculous because you're laying claim to somebody that again that is clearly not on the same team as you, he's definitely on the opposite team. So I hope that you can understand, and I hope this advice finds you well, because I just don't want to, and I want to I you know I appreciate a follow-up, you know, if you want to tell me what happened, but I think for you, my friend, I think you just need to let this one go and just continue to be the good friend that you are because as I said, they're supporting you, and the least you can do is support them because you don't want to lose these two as friends. I mean, yes, these two, if they're close as Chase says they are, which I'm sure they are, because it seems like they've been friends for a very, very, very long time, and just be happy for them, you know. Don't try to break this couple up or try to do something spiteful and deceitful and thinking he's gonna run into your arms, because that's probably never gonna happen. I don't even think that's gonna be even something close. If he told you that who he liked, that he wanted to be with, all you can do is be happy for him. I mean, it'd be different if y'all was fighting over the same girl, but it seems like you're fighting over somebody that's not that you shouldn't even be fighting over somebody with. That's what I'm saying. So I don't know. Give me a second to get something to drink. Lord, I'm gonna get some get my tea, you know. Not to get off topic, but Yeti, this damn thing is awesome. You know, I'm putting like a cold beverage in this thing, it stays cold all damn day, and there's like no ice in there. It's weird. I love this thing. I shouldn't should have found this sooner. But what I'm saying to you. And I pray that you don't do nothing deceitful. I pray that you don't do something that's going to jeopardize their relationship because that relationship can jeopardize your relationship too. Because this shit can come back on you, and when the shit comes back on you to eat you eat you alive, then you're not gonna have anybody, and that's the sad thing, you know. Why come people can't just let other people be happy? Why can't other people just be happy for other people? You know, I got another letter coming, um, another show coming that I'm not gonna give too much away, but let's just gonna say it's it's definitely quite the eye-opener. But and that's the thing, people need to be happy for other people. It doesn't matter if it's not you, and if you want it to be you so bad, then just wait your turn, wait your turn, or go out there and make something of yourself to do something that's gonna make you and the person that you want to be with happy, you know. But there's no need of trying to be deceitful, be disrespectful to a relationship because you want this guy. But let me ask you this: if you decide to do something like that, what is the outcome gonna be for you? You think he's gonna run into your arms? You think he's gonna say, Oh, well, you know, let me just try this once, I'll try anything once. I don't think so. I don't. I think if you do something that vindictive and that deceitful, that you're gonna ultimately push this person into somebody else's arm, and then you're gonna be in another uphill battle trying to fight this person off to try to get what you claim to be is yours, but what it's claiming that it's not yours. We don't own people, there's no control in people, so you can't make somebody fall in love with you. If the person is meant to be with you, then surely something will happen. But you trying to put on a show or proposal to this man is clearly gonna get your feelings hurt, and I pray to God that when you do hear this show that you don't do it, and I get a letter from you saying that you did do it, because I'm just trying to I'm just trying to be straightforward with you. It's not gonna go the way you think it is, it's gonna be a disaster, it's going to be a it's just gonna be a shit show. Because the only person's gonna be hurt out of this is going to be you. Nobody else is gonna be hurt. They may feel sorry for you, and you might think this is gonna be something that you're gonna be comforted by. You might be comforted in the in the in the beginning for the probably the first five or six minutes, but then after all that shit settled, it's probably gonna go down because they're gonna sit there and tell you that I told you I wasn't gay, and you went on ahead and you did the shit anyways. So, my question is what is your end game here? Because clearly, Chase is just a good friend. I think you just treat him as such, treat him as such, and continue to be the friend that he needs you to be. Be a supportive friend, be a good friend, be a best friend. I mean, I'm just saying, I mean, what more is there to do? You know, but I think what Chase wants for you, he wants you to be happy, he wants you to find somebody, but it's just not him. It's not him, and I'm pretty sure he's told you that many and many times, many, many times. I mean, yeah, dudes wrestle, I mean that's not a big thing. I mean, it doesn't really necessarily make you gay or whatever. And then, you know, he said you did some something weird where you were one minute you had clothes on, the next minute you were waking up in your underwear. Okay, not really that bad, but I don't know. Maybe you're kind of testing the waters with him to see if he if he's gonna bite, but clearly he didn't, so that should give you a clear indication of who this guy is to you. He's a friend, he's a very supportive friend. If you're socially awkward and he still manages to be your friend, and Angel still manages to be your friend, dude, just take the freaking win. Take the win. Because as I said, you're just gonna end up hurting yourself. You got to figure out, Jamie, what it is, who it is that's gonna make you happy. And you want to say that it's going to be Chase, but Chase doesn't think so. So you, my friend, have to figure out what you're gonna do in life, number one, number two, how you're gonna navigate this life about being gay. I don't know how to answer that, but it's what it is, and I'm not even saying if it's gonna be a phase or not. I don't even think it's a phase, I think it's just if you are, you are, if you're not, but clearly, somewhere along the lines, I really want to know which how long you were in this relationship with this other girl with. Did this even say that in here? Hold on, let me take a look. Yeah, so Chase doesn't even know why you turned gay. I mean, clearly Chase had no indications of you being gay, but maybe this is just something that you know you came out the closet and decided, hey, hey, it's not working with this person, so let me try the same sex. I don't know, and that's not for me to question. If you're gay, you're gay. That doesn't make it seem like I'm just questioning people's models on how you became gay or why you're gay. If it's your lifestyle, your lifestyle has nothing to do with me, and I'm just trying to give you the best advice that I clearly can. But if you want to be happy, go be happy. If you want to be miserable, I wouldn't recommend it. Because as I said, you have a very you have two friends that support you, you have two friends that care about you. Don't let this no be a hard no, and then you go down the rabbit hole and you just kind of spiral out of control and be like, well, he doesn't like me, so nobody else is gonna like me. That's never the case. Never the case. When somebody rejects you, you just have to keep going out there and just putting in your best foot forward and your best effort. And then once you do that, somebody will eventually somebody eventually will come come to you or come for you. I mean this world is so different from what I grew up in back in the day. You know, back in the day, if you were gay, that was a huge secret. You know, now being gay is just a thing of the past, you know. But kudos to those people who are. I don't have any issues with them. It's just not a lifestyle that I want to further myself with. But I will support you in any way that I possibly can, and there's nothing wrong with that. So I think that if this is who you choose to be, then go ahead and be that person. But you can't really flip-flop and forth between the two flavors. I mean, maybe you can, I don't know, because this day and age, oh my gosh, this day and age, these kids are so different these days. And when I say y'all different, I mean I I don't know. I I don't know. I do, but I'm trying to find the words to put it in, put the words in. But then again, I don't really know. So and if you're just gay, then you're gay. That's just funny as funny as me. And I did laugh at the letter a bit because I thought what he was writing, it seemed a bit funny and a bit awkward and a bit odd because here's a guy who clearly wants to be with another guy, but the guy doesn't want to be with you, and the guy is just definitely not into you. So and then when he said that they did he did these things that you know you wrestle. I mean, boys wrestle. It's not a it's not a big thing. I mean, it kind of reminds me of that that movie Um Cruel Intentions. I don't think y'all seen that before with Reese Witherspoon and Michelle Gallery. Is it Michelle Gallery? Yeah, it might have been her, anyways. But um, yeah, but there was a scene in there where this guy was clearly under deaf in the closet, but whatever, you know. You had to go back and look at it. I'm not gonna sit here and talk about the whole damn movie, but so I hope that this this this this letter, this podcast finds you in good spirits, Mr. Jamie. I hope you're actually waiting, and I hope you're not going to do anything that's gonna further like I don't want to say embarrass you, but I think you are gonna get embarrassed because I think that as I said it's gonna hurt you more than it's gonna oh goodness. I think it's gonna hurt you more than it hurts Mr. Chase because you know his feelings and you know where he's at and where he stands. And I'm pretty sure his family knows the same thing. So when you get introduced to him and his family as this is my friend, that's clearly what you are. You're nothing more, you're nothing less. If you try to call it anything than what it is, you're just gonna be completely, completely, completely embarrassed. And then you're gonna be even more pissed off because you're like, Well, what did I do wrong? Well, I'll tell you what you did wrong. You assume that this guy liked you, you assume that this guy loves you, but he loves you as a friend, he probably loves you as a brother. I mean, that's the way I see it. As I said before, this him and his his his best friend Angel took you under their wing, they made you a friend, and I mean, if that don't give you brownie points, I don't know what the hell does. But I think that these people have your best interest in heart. I think what you should do is that you should still instill and instill have their best interest at heart too as well. Because I mean, let's be real honest. If this was me in this situation, I probably would have talked to you first. I mean, but I think he has done that. Well, no, I don't think he has done that. He's told you that plenty of times. So you're reaching out to the show to say, Well, help me get my man back. Again, that's not the way this works here. It's really not. But I can't help you get somebody that you never really had. I mean, that's just me. So if I could give any advice to you and your friend, is that you just gotta need to continue to be best friends. Because I'm sure when you find somebody, he's going to support you. I'm sure when you find somebody that is gonna love you for you, he's going to support you. And I'm talking about Chase supporting Jamie. Because and that's all he wants for you. I mean, it sounds like you guys are really like really something like you guys are all really close. And I mean, that's a rarity these days. That really is. And you've never had sex with him, you've never done any of these things with him. I'm just still trying to figure out in my mind what would make you think that you're a couple. Because if you're still thinking that way, if you're still feeling that way, then you need some serious help, some serious counseling. Because it sounds like not seeing a white female syndrome, it sounds like something else. I just don't know what it is. But it sounds like you're just trying to make him love you, you're trying to make him fall in love with you, but it's not gonna happen that way. You have to understand, Jamie, that there are rules and there are limits to what you're doing, and the rules are he's just not into you. So maybe um focus on you, focus on taking care of you, focus on finding out what makes Jamie happy, focus on yourself, your life, your career. Put a career in place, keep hanging out with your friends, and they're gonna keep supporting you as much as you can keep supporting them. See, when you do that, the reward is gonna be greater, the reward is gonna be higher than what you've expected. So who knows? You could find somebody out there tomorrow and be like, oh my god. And then what? I'm pretty sure if you do find somebody tomorrow, you'll two seconds later, you didn't forgot about who Chase is. I mean, besides he's your best friend, but you forgot that you fell. I wouldn't say in love, I just think you're kind of infatuated. I think you are infatuated with him because he's a guy that took you in as one of his best friends. So, and I get I don't know, I don't get it. I can't say I get it, I don't, I don't, but I think that if he took you in like that, then like I said, you can find somebody tomorrow. I mean, somebody could be looking for you right now, or not like that, but you know, I'm not saying I'm not saying there's a person looking for you, but you know, you know what I'm trying to say. You stay out in San Jose, California, so I know that on the West Coast predominantly not really anything goes, but you're in a state that it's it's largely recognized as um let's just say there's a lot of relationships out there. I'm not gonna say it's just a gay state because it's not a gay state. I mean, there's no such thing as a gay state, gay state. But I think that, and if you heed what I'm trying to say to you, I think that you're gonna find somebody who's going to be so into you that you're gonna forget about Chase and your whole infatuation or your illustrious lifestyle with Chase. Because that's that ship is sale. That's gone. You you ain't gonna get that, unless Chase decides to email me and say, Hey, we are on and we on and popping. I doubt that's gonna happen. And I was curious to really know about Chase and his relationship with Angel, but you know, but it's all good because it seems like he cares more about you when he wrote this letter, and the fact you copied him on it, which was really really diabolical. But maybe you guys listen to the show together and just kind of go from there. Try to figure out, you know, where do we go from here as best friends now? You know, I think if you guys sit down and he talks to you about it and says that let's just say like this: if this was me, if I was Chase, I'm like, listen, bro, you're one of my good friends. I love you like a brother. You know, you've been there for me through you know talking to me about angel, and I just want you to keep being there for me. You know, I'm gonna be there for you as long as you continue to be there for me. I'm not the one for you, I'm not gay, but I hope you find somebody, and if you when you find somebody, I'm gonna support you just like you supported me. That's if I was Chase, that's what I would say to you. That's clearly what I would say to you. I'd be like, Well, and then your response should be I understand, and I apologize, but I'm sorry I felt this way, but I'm just trying to figure out who I am, and then Chase probably be like, Well, you got to find that shit someplace else now to joke. No, but I'm just saying though, but I mean, if you guys are really good friends, like you say you are, then you should really that's the conversation that you should have with him, you know, and don't bring Angel in this because Angel is a neutral party. I mean, she don't even know. I I would hope. Well, she probably don't know because nobody said anything about Angel. So she probably doesn't know that you're feeling this type of way about Jace. So, but I mean, what can you do? Seriously, what can you do? Um, sorry, sending the text. But that would be that would be my response to you, Mr. James. If that was if I was Chase. Um I was gonna make a joke, but I'm not gonna do that. Just because the name is Chase don't mean you gotta chase him. That was corny as hell, wasn't it? So, Mr. Jamie, I hope this podcast finds you well. I hope that I'm giving you some kind of advice that you can follow, that you can listen to. And if you told I think you should talk to your mother or your parents, or you're an only child, which that's not really bad per se, but I think you should talk to your parents about this. Um, because it sounds like I don't even know if they know, but if they do know, they do. If they don't, they don't. But I still think you should talk to your parents about it. Um, maybe get some clarification, get some clarity, get an idea on who Jamie should be and who he needs to be. Now, I'm not saying take the advice of your parents and saying, well, you're not gay, but if you're gay, you're gay. Um, just because you're gay don't mean you gotta live like a certain type of lifestyle, you're just a human being that likes the same sex of a man. So, yeah, I'm not saying you know, you should talk to them and they should be like, Oh, well, you know, yada yada yada wooty-woo. Not saying that, but I think you should talk to your parents, as I said before, Mr. Chase, Mr. Jamie. Hope this pot this podcast finds you well, because I think that your guys' friendship is much more important than any relationship. Um, and I say that with you two, not with Angel, because I know Mr. Chase is in love with his best friend, and I'm sure hope she feels the same way. But I don't know, you know, but Mr. Jamie, I would encourage you to either talk to your parents, get in some kind of therapy, some kind of counseling. Um, because clearly we don't own people, my friend. We can't make anybody fall in love with anybody. We can't we can't we can't do that. We just can't say, well, hey, you're in love with me, you're gonna be with me. You can't, you gotta get out this mindset that he's mine because he's clearly not yours. I don't think he's going to be yours. Um, the mindset that you should have right now is just trying to figure out who you are, what you're gonna do, and how you're gonna do it. And I'm not talking about anything with Mr. Chase, I'm talking about things with you that's going to make you happy, and when you find those things, keep working towards those things because I guarantee you you're gonna have the same support um with your two friends than you're gonna have anywhere else. So, again, don't do anything stupid, don't do anything irrational, and please, please don't propose to them. Don't do that. So, as we get ready to wrap the show up, I just want to say thank you um to Jamie and thank you for Chase for you know you both emailing me um because I appreciate it because it saved a lot of trouble. Number one, number two, as I said before, I wasn't gonna do the show, but everyone for Chase that chimed in, then you know it is what it is. But I want to say thank you to my listeners, I want to say thank you to the guys that follow me on social media, and again, um the show that was supposed to air last week, I have to redo because it was technical difficulties with that. But in any event, we will get the show back up and running. So, um, you guys have been wonderful. I appreciate you guys reaching out, checking to see if I'm okay. Everything is okay. Just because you don't hear from me about a podcast, you know. I work two jobs, y'all. You know, I gotta keep that money rolling. You know, this economy's so freaking screwed up, it's ridiculous. But I still love doing what I do. I work two jobs, take care of my kids, come home, and hey, do me. So, if I can offer anybody some advice or if you want to talk about anything, please feel free to email me. The links are always in the description of all my podcasts, d6mpire um357 at gmail.com. I appreciate the letters y'all send me. I appreciate the appreciate the support that y'all give me. Um, I like doing what I do, you know. Um, one of my listeners asked me uh before I let you guys go, I was like, your show is I wish I I wish I wrote that down. But and I'm paraphrasing here that your show is just remarkable because it's different than what they listen to with other podcasts. And I'm not discrediting any of the podcasters because I listen to some other podcasts too, and there are some that are just good, some that are some of the in-between, and some that just they're just they're just fine. I'm not gonna call them bad because you know a lot of people might think my show is bad, and that's okay. You know, I just do this because I like doing it, and then I like giving out advice, so I don't charge for the show, I don't do none of that, I just do it because I like doing it. But I appreciate the support on this platform, I appreciate you guys coming in and letting me speak to you or talk to you or do whatever. Um, I had a co-host, somebody asked me about the co-host, but I think she's probably not gonna be coming on. Um, I think she's a little bit too busy. Um, I was looking forward to the this co-host coming on, but maybe we'll get her on the phone, and but in order for me to do that, I'm trying to figure out how I can do that because I'm also trying to figure out um some more platform ideas for the show. But if you guys have any comments, gripes, complaints, whatever, feel free to reach out to me. My number is listed on one of my social media sites. You can feel free to drop me a WhatsApp message if there's something you want to hear. Um, I'll get it, I'll receive it. We go from there. That's all we can do, right? So, oh but I hope you guys have a fantastic day, fantastic week, and then you know, I'm gonna see you guys on the next time around. Just gonna let y'all trill with this call Love Me More by Maine. But until next time, my friends, you guys take care of yourself and each other. And yeah, we'll see you next time, y'all. Y'all take care.