No Threesome Still Two Pregnancies

Two women have been together since middle school. They want kids. IVF is way more expensive and complicated than they expected. So they make a decision that feels practical and controlled: ask a male friend they trust to help them conceive with “no strings attached.”

I talk through the real questions hiding under the shock value: what sexuality labels can and can’t explain, why “no strings attached” rarely stays that clean, and how gender double standards shape the way people judge women’s choices. We also get into the big practical issue nobody can dodge: what role does Jacob play once the babies arrive, and how do you tell your parents without letting shame run the whole story?

If you like unfiltered relationship advice with real-life stakes, press play, then subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

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Transcript

Opening Banter And Storm Update

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Let y'all agree with this for a little bit longer. We're gonna get the chill started here shortly. All right. Well, how y'all doing out there today? Well, we're back, y'all. Another beautiful day. If y'all hear a lot of rumble in the background, we got storms out this way, so hopefully I won't lose any power. But if we lose any power, I think I still be live on Buzzcast, just probably won't hear me. But hey, we'll be good. Any event, how's everybody doing things? Y'all doing alright? Y'all good? Y'all having a good day? I'm having a fantastic day. Hopefully y'all's week is going well. Hopefully y'all is well with everybody. Oh been working crazy hours of both jobs. No, this world is going to shit. Now we got this dumbass hidden in the White House. I gotta work twice as hard now. But nevertheless, I still have time to uh converse with my peeps about my podcast. By the way, I want to say thank you to all my loyal listeners. I have surpassed 750 downloads. Um somebody likes me, but I appreciate it, appreciate y'all chiming in, listening to the show, and making my show what it is. Yeah, I love it. Any event, we're gonna get the show started. I am icon. The show is called Let's Talk About It. And today we have a letter from what this letter kind of sounded familiar to me because I think it sounded similar because I it felt like the show that I did, but in any event, uh huh. Here we go, I guess. Okay, sorry about that. In any event, here we go. Let's dive on into it, shall we? So this letter is entitled, um comes from a young lady named Jennifer. Um she is from Houston, Texas. The letter's entitled I think I'm straight. Yes, I think I'm straight. Icon, hey, so first I'd like to say I enjoy your podcast, though there are tons of them out there, none like yours. Well I appreciate that. I feel that your show, though at times are comical, you really try to help your listeners. But the crazy thing is, I didn't think I would ever find myself writing to a podcast and asking your opinion. But here it goes. My name is Jennifer, I'm from Houston, Texas. I'm 25 years old, and though life has been good to me, I still struggle with who I am. This will make sense as I explain it to you more. I'm sure that you have done a show like this before, but I can't remember. But here it goes. I've been gay for the better part of my life. I've never been with a man before. Before I have always had physical traction to females. Me and my girlfriend have been together since middle school. Damn, middle school? Whatever. Um, and she also has never been with a man, or at least that's what she tells me. But I don't know. I don't know. I trust to the fullest. But there's been a key part of our lives missing, and that is having kids. We both wanted kids, and we were gonna try to uh try to IVR IVF in vitro fertilization. We looked it up, and the costs are not what what we had anticipated, and there's a lot that goes into the process, as I'm aware that you uh that you know, of course we talked to our parents, and though they seem to have a different outtake on this matter as we did. It did get us both thinking about what we had thinking about it, and we have strong feelings about it. Wait, wait, hold on. Okay. So my mother said that she didn't have the money for it because in this world, this world is not doing so well thanks to the current dumbass idiots sitting in the White House. If I said that, my girlfriend's mother said the same thing. My parents, my parents did, so we clearly are struggling with this, but have come up with a solution. So we have a friend who's a guy, great guy, oh boy, and he's definitely a guy that I can see myself losing my virginity to. Wait, oh okay, right, got that. Okay, I forgot she hasn't been with the man. But to my girlfriend is against it for some reason, but but here's how I thought it would play out because since I've never had been with the male before, I watched a lot of porn, and I would ask him and then tell my girlfriend in that order. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, so I must admit, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but his qualities are simply the best. And before you ask, no, he doesn't have a girlfriend. I know this because we all stay in the same apartment complex. He's so focused, takes really good care of himself and his two dogs. Okay. With that being said, me and Amber talked about it, and I said that I'd be willing to carry our baby, but the crash out thing is that we approached him with this and he was excited, maybe too excited, lol. But needs to say that we went through with it, and there were no strings attached. And yes, before you asked, we all took all we all took an SED test wait, we all took an SED test before we had sex, and we're all good. As you would say. Fast forward four weeks later, I'm pregnant. Congratulations. But the only part the only best part of is but the only best part of it, because without going into too much detail, I love the fact that he was so gentle and very passionate. But I have a girlfriend, and though I'm pregnant, I've been secretly still sleeping with him on the side. Oh boy. This didn't sound good at all. I feel as if I betrayed my girlfriend. But there's but there's also a plot to plot to this plot twist, not tit. Plot twist, not tit. Since we don't since we don't sleep in the since we don't sleep at his apartment, we go to the Marriott in Houston. Now the day I was supposed to go meet up with him, I had gone to the doctor's appointment and forgot my wallet. So when I returned home, I heard some moaning, and as I entered my apartment, I seen that Jacob was there with Amber and oh my god, he was really piping her down. So good. They didn't even know I was in the apartment, so I grabbed my wallet and proceeded to go to my appointment. Damn it, that ain't diabolical. I don't know, I don't know, I don't get it. Honestly don't know what's happening. Part of me felt relieved and the other part felt betrayed. So I went to my appointment, met up with Jacob, and I honestly didn't care that he was piping down Amber. Because let's be honest, Icon, he's amazing in bed. Though I was pregnant, I did make him use a condom. Okay, got it. Icon, the story gets more complicated because as I confessed to Amber about also getting it from Jacob on the side, Amber admitted to me that she was pregnant as well. And I was like, what the hell, Amber? She said yes, I'm also pregnant. And she said she was sorry, but like so we're both about to have his baby. She said yes, with this look of excitement on her face, so I asked her how long I asked her how long has it been since this has been going on. She said two weeks. Wait, she said two weeks. I slept with him, so I was mad, but really didn't have the right to be because I told her that I've received him since I found out I was pregnant. She high-fired me like we were in high school all over again. So I asked her what this means for us, and we're both kind of stuck. Okay, that's kind of a messed up word to use, stuck. Because though we love each other, I'm not sure if we both are still gay or attracted to each other. Uh-huh. But the worst part, but the worst the worst of it all is that I'm not trying to tell my parents that we banged the same guy, and that we're going to that way, that we bang the same guy, they're going to think that we had some kind of threesome. LOL. Oh my god, Icon, I really need your advice. As I'm writing you this email, we can't seem to stop, and again, he is just so passionate and caring. And he does go to the appointment with me and Amber, but we have two different OBGYNs. That's probably good. I feel like I've done this before. Huh. So it's not totally awkward, but I don't know. But it's bad, but I know that this can't last forever. But I honestly think how bad it's going to look to our parents. But Amber's already told her parents, and they rewarded her with a baby shower, welcomed their soon-to-be grandchild with open arms. Her dad was very ecstatic. I mean, she even told them who the guy was, and they're still happy that she's having a baby. I was uh, damn, I hope my parents are this excited for me as her parents were for her. So, Icon, I guess just need to understand who I am and if this is the right move for me because I'm feeling like I'm not gay anymore. Well, okay, yeah. Um, I don't know. I'm gonna tread lightly on this one. Um so Jennifer and Amber have been seeing each other since middle school. And though they both have never been with the man, it seems like Jennifer has lost her virginity to Mr. Jacob. Um, I don't know where to begin because it's kind of like holy shit, um, is this really happening? Yeah. So the only good thing, well, I mean, there's a lot of good things that you can look at this because both of you guys were careful. You everybody took SED's STD test, which is a good thing. Um, and though you keep um though you keep getting it from Jacob on the side, you still make a use of protection, even though you're having his child. Now, I did submit questions to Miss Jennifer, but she hasn't gotten back to me. So I'm gonna say I hope all is well with her, and I hope everything is good. Um, I often question how some people can be gay and they haven't really sampled anything from the other side of the buffet, but that's not really my case to say, or not for me to kind of judge. I'm not really judging them on this because I get it. Um IVF is very expensive and it's like through the roof and pricing, and I've had this kind of some this similar situation happen to me before, but this is like a while ago. This is a while ago when I was married. I even told my wife about this, and she like laughed. Um I was working for a company, and there was this um this young lady that worked at a grocery store that I delivered at, and she and her significant other, which was a woman, they were trying to have a baby, but they couldn't because of IVF. And IVF is very it's very expensive, and there's a lot of things that go into it. So she even asked me if I would do it, and I was like, I don't think I could do that, I don't really feel comfortable doing that because not only I didn't feel comfortable, but I went on and told my wife, my wife's like, Oh yeah, you should really totally do that. I was like, No, I shouldn't. Because here's my thing: I have kids, and I can't just see myself getting someone else pregnant and then just them raising my kid, knowing that I have a kid out there, and then later on down the road, they're coming at me like, yo, pops, what the hell? You love me with these two chicks? I mean, I don't know. It was at the time it was weird. If I could, would I do it now? Probably not, because I'm too attached to kids. I love my kids, and I don't think that me. Now it'd be different if I did like a sperm donor type thing, and you know, you go to a clinic and you hit it off in a cup, and then they do it that way because I don't really know them then, and I don't really know the kids, so yeah, I don't know. But I think Jennifer, what you're struggling with is that you've never been with a man before, but you've been tracked to females, and though you've had some kind of some kind of feeling of that you may want to be with the man, and that you did lose your virginity to Mr. Jacob, which I think that part is kind of um you're not really a clinger. I'm not really saying that you're a clinger, but you're enjoying the sex with Mr. Jacob because he's a very passionate lover. Now, you does you did say take care of his dogs, and you did guys did say that there would be no strings attached. But when you say no strings attached, I'm still trying to figure out how this is gonna play out in my head that you and your girlfriend are now pregnant with Jacob's child. I was really counting on her to answer the questions so I can get a better understanding, but I just went ahead and did the show. So I'm gonna try to answer the questions the best that I can because I think that I don't think Jennifer, I don't think that you're lost. I just think that you're and you're 25 years old, so you have been gay since middle school. Or you could have been gay even sooner, I don't know. But and I kinda I kinda and I wish I could talk to somebody to say, well, if you never really slept with the opposite sex, how do you know that you are gay? I mean, what brought this on? What how did you even get this way? But I think that would be kind of offensive, but then again, I'd probably want to know the answer to that question. Because and I get it, I think being gay for some people is a choice, and for some people they're born with it, and for some people it's just a lifestyle. But even with that being said, I still don't have any issues with that. Now, I know you're struggling with um Jacob and because I don't even really honestly think that you and your girl have been having sex with each other, or I'm not even sure how the hell that works, but yeah, I know how it works, but I'm just saying. I think that and you said your girlfriend Amber told her parents, and that they're like ecstatic about it. Well, that's the thing. So, and I'm assuming you're both kind of up there in the same age, uh, since you guys went to middle school together, or whatever, whatnot. And I'm pretty sure at some point in your parents' life they wanted grandchildren. Now, you didn't say if you was an only child or whatnot, which again we don't really get into that unless you really kind of share that information, but I think that for Amber's parents, they're excited because they're getting a grandchild. I think your parents would be kind of happy too. And even though they told she told them that who the guy was, but I don't know, she didn't really say anything. I don't know if she said anything about you, but any event, it's gonna happen. So I'm trying to figure out where Mr. Jacob fits into all this, this whole equation, because it's kind of like. Really, not really a screwed up situation, but and you guys say there's no strings attached. Let me tell you guys something. It's gonna be hard um if you two do decide to stay together, but something tells you that I don't think you're gonna stay together because you're too in love with the pipe. And I'm trying to keep it clean here because we have younger listeners that listen to the show. I think that you're in love with the pipe and you like what he's has to offer you, and you think he's a passion lover. You said you could see yourself losing your virginity to this guy. The fact that you're not jealous of your girlfriend being with this guy speaks volumes to me. I mean, damn. And I guess it's just different, you know. I mean, do you think that you're still gay now? Because you said that you're still getting from getting it from him on the side. This guy must be one hell of a guy. I know that. I know I gotta get my tea, my red diamond. But I really wanted to know more about Miss Jennifer and Miss Amber because I think that maybe your girlfriend has sampled what was on the other side of the bar, and she's probably not telling you. Um, but for her to like, I can't really say it's wrong because you guys all made this agreement, so I don't really think it's an issue. I just think the issue is that you're both having his child, and I'm trying to figure out how he's gonna fit into all this because is he gonna be a father? Is he gonna just be? I can't really say it's front enough because you guys all live in the same damn apartment complex. How the hell is this even gonna work? I don't I'm trying to figure this out. I mean, help me understand this. I mean, two girls, and you didn't you guys didn't even have a threesome. That's like even more um not really weird, but I guess it's just kind of thrown before a loop that you guys really want this kid that bad. And it sounds like that. I don't really know if your friend was jealous, but I think she maybe she had a talk with her parents behind your back, and oh man, I don't even think she even told him no. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't tell him, but I think that she wanted this child to make her parents happy and to make herself happy. It's nothing wrong with what you guys did. I think it's just the way that you guys are going about it. Because you were living as a couple, um, you're not married, you didn't say if you're married, so you guys are living for a couple for the better part of most of your adulthood life, and now that you guys have these kids coming, which is gonna be a little bit more different because let's face it, I I honestly can't really see you guys staying together. I really can't. I'm trying to picture this in my head on how this is gonna happen that you and your girlfriend are gonna be raising, and if you she's excuse me, if you're four weeks pregnant, she's not too far behind, so I think you'll somewhat similar have the they're gonna be close in age, so I'm pretty sure there's gonna be a lot of questions when these kids get older, and whether or not you choose to stay with Amber or try to make it work with Mr. Jacob, but you said Mr. Jacob, he's very organized, he's very he takes care of his dogs. I don't really know. You said he was like really excited to do this, so he must have been really excited to do this, and I'm trying to figure out how this came about with your girlfriend Amber, because the fact that you guys are both pregnant is still throwing me for a loop. I don't understand it, I don't get it, but maybe it's not for me to get, maybe it's not for me to understand. Uh, what is what is for me to understand is that you guys may have a tough time because I think you guys are both are gonna be in this boat where he is ultimately gonna be a father, and you don't know if I don't know. That's why I wanted to get the questions uh from her, but I really wish you would answer the questions, but she didn't. So I'm gonna try to I'm trying to answer this without the best way I can because I think there's a lot of questions that my listeners may have that I still might kind of have that I still don't understand it. So I'm gonna go back to this letter again, and I think that let's just start with this. I think that Jennifer, I don't think you're gay anymore. I really don't, and I think that your girlfriend maybe she's on, maybe she's playing both sides of the fence because clearly you like what what has happened with you. You like that the fact that you had had a man that was passionate enough to give you a child that is passionate and vet and that was just a gentle lover for you. And I think you like that, and I think that you want to keep that going now. Whether it's not it's gonna be Mr. Jacob, I have no idea. I don't know. Um what I can say is that I think that it's not again, it's not bad. I just think that there's gonna be a lot of questions raised when you guys have these kids. I mean, because even though you guys said there's no strings attached, and he was more than happy to do this, I mean, I'm just still kind of bad because are you gonna stay in. I don't know, because it sounds like you guys are you're in what we call, I don't know the relationship term for this, but you're in a thrall. I want to say you're in a relationship, but then again, you're kind of not in a relationship. But the only good thing is that you guys are doing this responsibly, which I know a lot of people say, well, oh no, it's no, it's nasty, it's disgusting. It's not really disgusting because if she's having sex with him, she's still using a condom, even though he's still banging Amber on the side and he's banging you. I don't really see the problem with this. I mean, men do this shit all the time. So let's not be so critical of what these two women are doing. When men do this shit all the time, men have multiple kids by multiple different women, and then all they get is a high five. But the moment a woman does it, a woman is like, Oh my god, she's a hoe, she's a tramp, she's a she's a thought, and that's not right, it's not fair. So I think the same standards that apply to men should be also applied to women. So it's not disgusting, they're not married, they're not in a relationship. The only person is in a relationship are the two females, and that's Jennifer and Amber. Now, whether or not they choose a standard relationship, it's going to I think these babies are really gonna test you guys both. I think they're gonna test you guys to your limits, and probably I wouldn't say your breaking point, but I would probably say that it's just going to be um it's gonna be quite different. So, to my listers, let's not be so quick to judge because as I said, men have been doing this shit for years and for centuries. So, while we think it's disgusting, I mean I don't think it's disgusting, I think this guy was really in paradise because he's getting the bang to women, and then the current the whole thing is that you guys don't even live together. So, we could call this like casual sex basically. So, it's no different if you found this guy on Tinder or some kind of other dating app, and you decided, well, yeah, I think I want him to be one to be having my kid, so there, no strength attached. So, Amber's parents welcome this guy, or welcome not this guy, welcome their daughter being pregnant with open arms. I'm pretty sure it's gonna work the same way for you. Because why? Even though you're are gay or lesbian, parents still feel that need to say, Well, I I still want grandkids. And here's the thing men can't have kids, so I think you two are gonna be okay, if you know what I mean. I think you're gonna be okay. So I think when you tell your parents, which I'm pretty sure that may be what you're working on now, because this I got this letter a week ago, and I sent the and when I read the letter, I sent the responses to her to see if she's gonna answer questions. So those may come later. If so, we'll do an update on it. But I think what your parents are gonna be, I think your parents are gonna be ecstatic that you're having a baby and that they're gonna have their grandchild, as well as Amber's parents are, so it sounds like it sounds I mean it sounds okay to me. It's not really a bad thing. It's I don't really think it's a bad thing, because let's be real honest, this could be going a different way if he was married or if he had a girlfriend, or if you guys are married, and you guys are stepping out on each other, but you're not. I think that in a relationship, if you can sit down and you can have an open conversation about your sexual needs or having a kid, then hey, who am I to judge? I'm not judging it, not judging that one bit, but the fact that it's just so open is just leaving room for not really doubt, but just room for uncertainty from you and your girlfriend Amber because she's happy, and it's like you guys are both doing the same guy, and you guys are both happy. So if it works for you, it works for you. But I gotta say, that this gravy train might not last as long as you think it's gonna last, but I would just say that kind of be careful because with the baby comes your emotions, your emotions are gonna be going insanely out of whack. Um, one minute you're gonna be up, and the next minute you're gonna be down. So whether you try whether you guys choose to go through this together, as friends, or as lovers, or whatever the hell you want to call yourself, hey, all I can say is you guys can be there for each other. So, but I don't think it's a bad thing, I just think that I mean I gotta be really honest with you. I'm not even sure if I can go about this a different way because you know when I think back to that situation happened to me, and if I would have done that, but at the time I was married, and I told my wife about it, she kind of laughed off, she's like, Yeah, I think you should do it. But I don't know. Given what I know now, what I probably would have done, I don't know, I don't think I would have. But I think what you guys are doing is just well, one you're young, so you're 25, so biological clock is ticking. So, and I'll put the question out there to my listeners if they think that this is something that let's be honest, y'all. Don't shade these people because this kind of shit happens every day. I mean, we see uh, and then the thing that happens is that the guy is usually cheating on his woman and then gets another chick pregnant, so that's diabolical, but this isn't that case. This case is just two lesbians or two gay lovers that wanted a kid. Well, one Amber thought Jeff was gonna have a kid, but Amber didn't want it that way, so now Amber is pregnant with his child. It's not a bad thing, so let's not let's not be so quick to judge, let's not be so quick to say, oh well that's nasty. I would never do anything like that. Well, you don't really know. Because as I said, two men can't have a kid. They have to, and I don't even think this would even work with I don't even think this would have worked in a man's in a man's mind to say, I'm gonna lay down with this woman and we're gonna have a kid. I don't even think I I kind of wonder about that though. I don't think a man would even do that if he's a g if he's a real gay man. I don't think he would have. I think the gay men would just probably just adopt it and called it a day. Now, women on the other hand, if this is the route you choose to take, you want to have your child natural because you want this child to belong and you want to bond with this child after you have this child. That's that's a good thing. Unfortunately, men can't bond with kids because men can't have babies. So let's be real about this. So it's different from a woman than it is a man because when a woman has a baby, they put the baby on top up there with the mother and they bond with the child, and that's a good thing. Men, on the other hand, have to either go out and adopt or adopt or adopt. Oh man, I'm still trying to think about that though. Huh. I don't know. I don't know. In any event, I think you should be happy. I think that you should be struggling no more about who you are. If this is what you want to do, if you want a man instead of your girlfriend, then I think you should go for it. Um, but what I would say that you guys don't do is don't get too invested in your emotions and say, well, I think this can work. Because let's be real honest, it's not gonna work as long as Jacob is in the equation. Because when you guys have these kids, and you're gonna feel a roller coaster of emotions. Now, I am not an expert on the female body, mind, or anything, I've just seen this before. I've seen this with my sisters, I've seen this with my own wife, and there was a roller coaster of emotions going through my wife's mind when she had our kids, but then again, I was there for the birth of all my kids. Now, my sisters, on the other hand, um I think some of their child's fathers didn't even show up. So, and that kind of put a that kind of put a strain on them because they were doing this all by themselves. I'm not saying that you guys are gonna be doing this all by yourselves, but uh you have to ask yourself this question. If you guys say there's not gonna be any strings attached with Mr. Jacob, then what do you want to tell your kid as he gets older? What do you want to say to your kid that well, this guy that we had a baby that that's supposed to be your father is not really your father, he doesn't really want to be in your life, and then I could be wrong. Jake could want to be in both of your kids' life, but I don't know. I just have a lot of unanswered questions that I hope that we get to do a follow-up on this, because I still think this is kind of some information that we kind of need to follow up on. And like I said before, I don't think you're confused anymore. I think you know what you want. Follow your heart and let your heart lead you to the right place. If, in fact, you and your girlfriend decide y'all gonna break up or end it or whatever, but y'all want to remain friends, there's nothing wrong with that. But what I would cautiously do and cautiously consider is that what is Jacob's role in both of your guys' relationship? Is he just somebody that just really has really good sex, or are you and Amber, do y'all want to be with this guy, or well, not together, but not together, but does somebody want him or does somebody not want them, or do y'all both want them? So these are the things that's gonna play out. These are the things that's gonna you need to ask yourself because there's gonna be some hurt on somebody's side on either your side or on her side, or maybe both of your side, I don't know. Because most people fly out, drop it sounds like that. Mr. Jacob is just he sounds like he's an okay guy. I mean, I don't really know a lot about him, but you just said he like takes care of his dogs and he's really organized, he's really go focused or oriented, and that's good. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

So take it off, take it all, get it. Anytime, anyway, we can leave.

Closing Thanks And How To Reach Me

SPEAKER_00 38:48

I'm assuming that he has a job because if he didn't, he wouldn't be living where you guys are living. And I'm assuming that he has his shit together, and that I got not sure why he's single, but then again, that was another question I asked, Miss Jennifer. But hopefully I'll get these questions answered. Who knows? Maybe I will, maybe I won't. But in any event, you two ladies have a decision to make, but you Jennifer, you have a huge decision to make. You have to figure out if this is what's gonna work for you. You have to figure out if this is going to be something that you're gonna be invested in. I mean, I know you're gonna be invested in the baby, I got that part, but I'm talking about your relationship. Because if you if she high-fired you, I don't really see the and I'm not looking for the drama part. I don't really see the the issue with Amber. I think that she's happy because she's pregnant and that she's having a baby, but at the same time, there was no mention of your guys' relationship on how you guys are gonna proceed forward with this relationship. So while I won't proceed caution with this, and then I would try to like ask myself before this child gets here, what is the role in all this? How is this gonna affect me? How's it gonna affect Amber? And how's it gonna affect Jacob? I don't know. But as I said before, I don't think there's anything wrong with what you guys did. I think it's just the timing of it is just kind of off because and the only reason I say the timing is off is because your friend went behind your back and got pregnant by the same guy that you're gonna now gonna have a baby by. And that but then again, you're still banging this guy, and she's still banging this guy. I mean, thank god you guys use the protect is all I gotta say. Jesus, Lord of mercy. But I'm not judging, not judging, just saying, because you know some men out there just out there popping with a rolling stone, so Miss Jennifer, I appreciate it if you could just follow up with me because as I release this show to you, and I hope this show finds you in good faith and good comfort. Tell your parents if they want to ask who the guy is, go ahead and tell them. And then if they ask about um your girlfriend, I would say that tell tell them that too, if they ask. I mean, here's the important thing is the important thing is you guys weren't all in the same room just getting it on. That's the important thing. Now, the fact that you guys came up pregnant with the same guy is kind of awkward, but not weird. I mean, especially in this day and age, Lord have mercy. But just be keep an open mind that what you're doing, I still think it's responsible because you're having sex with this guy, and even though you're pregnant by him, you're still making use of condom. So that says a lot because there are some women who just don't give a damn, and there are some men who just don't give a damn neither. Like, well, you're already pregnant. Let me go ahead and get the real thing, let me go ahead and feel that thing out. And I mean, because you know there are still kind of diseases in this world, and the fact that you guys did it respectfully and responsibly, that's that's that's give you points right there in itself. I mean, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Now, if this was me, and this situation was presented to me, which I said it was, if I was in Mr. Jacob's shoes, I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna lie, I would have done the same thing he would have done. I would have. But nobody has any kids. I mean, before before this happened, nobody's had any kids. So I think it's I just think it's it's not wrong. I don't think it's bad. I just think there's gonna be a lot of questions when that time comes. And I think that you still need to ask yourself is what is Jacob's role in all of this? Because let's be honest with you, you two are probably gonna be friends after this. You're probably gonna stay friends. I'm not sure if you're gonna stay lovers, because clearly your mind is someplace where it's not on really Amber, it's on Jacob and what he's done for you, and you did kind of lose your virginity to him, so there's a saying about that though, but I don't know what the saying is, but usually when you lose your virginity to somebody, you kind of not you don't come too clingy, but you kind of crave it more because you didn't say if you didn't like it, you said you loved it because he was a passionate lover, and if he's a passionate lover, that's something that you've been missing from your life. Now, let's be honest, I know when you're gay, um and you're attracted to the same sex, and they say, Well, a woman knows a woman's spot, and a man knows a man's spot. I get that, but there's also something that's missing, which is The passion and the comfort of a man. So I'm just pretty sure that you guys just didn't do the dude and it was over. I'm pretty sure it was a lot of pillow talking. A lot of pillow talking. Huh. Yeah. A lot of pillow talk. But that's okay though. I mean, if this is what you want to pursue, I think you should go ahead and pursue it. I think you should go ahead and just try to see if it's going to work for you. If it's gonna work with Jacob, it's gonna work with Jacob. But me personally, I would probably not try this with Jacob. I mean, it sounds like this guy. I don't know. I'm just kinda I'm still kind of bowed about the whole thing because if he's if he takes really good care of himself and his dogs, I think that maybe he did or he didn't want kids because you didn't even say if he meant if he told his parents, or didn't really speak about his parents or his situation. All I'm hearing is from you, Ms. Amber. And I know Amber's parents are ecstatic, and they're gonna throw her a whole baby shower and oh my god, it's gonna be awesome, yada yada yada, whoop de woo. And I'm pretty sure that's what you want too as well. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you want that, you can have that. So, Jennifer, as I would say to you, keep doing what you do, keep your head up. There's nothing to be ashamed about, there's nothing to be upset about. It is a it's a good thing. It's a good thing. Now, you may feel a certain way, you might decide, well, I feel different. Don't feel different, feel happy, feel happy, feel joyous because you're about to have a baby. Whether or not this man's gonna be involved is gonna be totally up to you. But I hope for the most part that when this thing, when you guys have these kids, that he does that you do decide to keep them in the lives of the kids. Because like I said, you're both young, you seem like you guys both have a really good head on your shoulders. That's just part of the the aspect of life that you were missing. And I know that you really wanted this, but probably not as much as Amber because she really wanted it and now she's got it. But it's a good thing. Let's just call it what it is, it's a good thing. Don't worry about the negative bullshit that you're gonna probably hear, or if you guys choose to tell other people that if you do, you do, if you don't, you don't. Me personally, I would just say, oh well, I went and got IVF. So I would use that, and if you don't want nobody to know, ain't nobody gonna know. So but as we get ready to close this show out, Jennifer, I hope this podcast finds you in good faith. I hope that you can uh respond back to so we can do a follow-up and see how everything is going. I hope that you're not gonna be struggling no more with your sexuality and where this is gonna go because I honestly don't think you're gay. Now you can be bisexual, um, maybe if you're still down for that kind of thing, or who knows? Because let me let's be honest, this could just been a phase. This could just been a phase, and you could be just like, Well, I like Jacob, but Amber, but then again, I like Amber, but then Jacob, or you know, don't maul this over too much. If you need further guidance in the system, just talk to your parents. I know parents always put things in this perspective for you, and they're gonna tell you the right way. So, I'm pretty sure being gay in this world today is not a huge thing, it's just that some parents want grandkids. Now, I know that you may want to hide this back from them, but don't hide it. Just go ahead and let them talk, just go ahead and talk about it. You guys go out for a nice lunch or brunch or whatever it is y'all do, sit down, y'all talk about it, and let them know. I mean, they're eventually gonna find out any damn way, so whether or not how they're gonna find out is totally up to you. They can find out through word of mouth, or they can hear directly from the horse's mouth, and that would be you. So, I hope that you would just take this time to consider everything, your options, and what you can do for yourself, and how happy that you can make yourself, and how moving forward with life, this can be beneficial to you. I'm just gonna say be beneficial to you because it's gonna be honest with you, your parents are gonna be happy one way or the other, because they got a grandkid on the way, they got a grandkid on the way. So I think for parents that know that their child is getting to have a grandkid on the way, I think all that's gonna be wiped out with the grandkid because we all know that when you have a kid and the grandparents get involved, it's like, okay, this went over well like I like I thought it was gonna go over. So don't be too hard on yourself, just think about it. So think about it and don't think too hard on it, don't worry too much about it, and don't stress too much about it. Because this is a decision that you made, it's not a bad decision because again, nobody's married, nobody has kids. So it's not like you guys got pissy ass drunk and decided to go back and bang it all out, and then that's how you woke up with the baby. No, you planned it out, which is really commendable, and you thought this thing through, you talked over with your girlfriend, even though your girlfriend wanted a PC action too, well, still these releases, she may not be, you know, 100% gay, but you know, I just really understand. So, in any event, it's what it is. So, as you get ready to close the show out, I want to say thank you to my listeners. Um, thank you for the downloads, thank you for you guys hanging in there with me. Um, and you guys can follow me on all my social medias and my links are in the description of the podcast. If you know somebody's going through something, y'all want to talk it out. Hey, y'all can hit me up. Um, I also have on my site now that you guys can leave me text messages or whatever, uh, the numbers there, or you can guys leave me feedback, good or bad. I take it both, doesn't really matter to me. So, in any event, we're gonna let you guys rock out with this next track. It's called Fade by Ray Ali. And until the next time we meet or we see each other, you guys take care of yourself and each other.