When A Dating Profile Lie Meets Real Life

He thought the flex would win her heart. Instead, it exposed everything he was trying to hide.

We read a letter from Joseph, a 34-year-old dad who meets Mae through Filipino Cupid, visits her in the Philippines, and brings her to the US on a K-1 fiancé visa. The problem is not distance or culture. The problem is the story he sold: a big house, multiple cars, “millions” in the bank, and a life that does not exist. When Mae arrives and sees a two-bedroom townhouse, one Ford Flex, and the reality of child support and tight finances, the relationship starts breaking in real time.

We talk about why online dating lies hit harder than people think, especially when marriage is on a 90-day clock. We also push back on the idea that someone “should be grateful” just because America looks richer on paper. Respect matters. Honesty matters. And if you have to buy attention or chase clout to feel chosen, you are setting yourself up for debt, anxiety, and heartbreak.

You will hear clear relationship advice on rebuilding trust: get off the apps, stop shopping while you claim to be committed, come clean about money and responsibilities, and offer a real apology without excuses. If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

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Transcript

Pre-Show Banter And Welcome

SPEAKER_01 2:52

It's the main one.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. How's everybody doing after? You're doing all right, you're good. Have a fun day, right? Hot a great day. We're gonna get started here in a minute. Let's go through with this one a little bit. Yes.

Joseph Writes In With Regret

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Oh, welcome to the show, y'all. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Uh this one came in. I guess I immediately had to read it. In any event, welcome to the show. I'm the icon. The show is called Let's Talk About It. Where we I just give out sound advice. You know that's what it is. Well, we got one for you today. Um by the name of Joseph, I was quite uh take when I was reading this because he kind of did a Mr. Jeklin and Mr. Hyde on me. One minute he was nice, and towards the end of it, he got kind of ruthless. But I guess he came back to himself, so it is what it is. Any event, excuse me. Let's get started with the show. Uh this email is entitled or letter, whatever. It's entitled, I overplayed myself. Ooh, let's get into this one. Give me just a second. Gotta pull this email note up here right quick.

The Fabricated Profile And Real Facts

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Okay, so as I said before, I overplayed myself. Let's get into it, shall we? Alright. Icon, hello, hello, how are you? You know I'm good, you know, just not just joking. My name is Joseph. And I'm from California. I have a problem which I'm sure you can appreciate. You see, I'm 34 years old, I have three kids by three different women, and though I thought my life would be different because I honestly thought I'd be further along in life, but I guess not. So I stopped dating US women because of you, and I had to say that you were right. The time I spent with these American women was just the worst. I'm not saying it's all their fault. I share part of the blame and all that because I started out good, but end up but finishing has yet to be determined. So I took some notes from your previous podcast about the site you recommended, and I have to say, damn, did my DMs explode with potential? The site used to talk about is Filipino Cuba, if anybody wants to know. I mean it did overwhelm me to a point where I had an anxiety attack, but nevertheless I found the one that I thought would make me happy. Jesus, Lord of Mercy. So her name is May, and she is from Buda, Buya Laka, I don't know, Buya Loca, Philippines. I don't know where the hell that's at. That's someplace further south in the Philippines. Have you ever been there? I visited two years ago and I must say it was great. The flight, as you know, was ridiculous, but hey, I don't I don't have to tell you. But I was taken with her and her family. Well, fast forward now it seems that it's going to shit really quick. That was quick. And I'll explain. You see, Icon, I may have left I may have let on a little bit more than what I should when it comes to who I am. I sent you a screenshot of my profile, and I want you to be honest about it. Okay, so we're gonna pause for a minute because this guy is taking um he gave me his profile. Of course, I'm not gonna share it because you know, whatever. But the profile exudes him as being this um this philanthropist, this this uh dominance towards women, like he's just the the shit. It might have been like it might have been he might have let on a little bit too much of his profile because as we get on later into the show, we're gonna find out that he's not who he seems to be. He paints himself as he has this huge house, he has all these cars, and he has this banging job, and all this other shit. So the profile is a bit fabricated, and we're gonna get into more of that, and I'll explain why it's like that. So we're gonna pick up another. So my profile is a bit fabricated, and I honestly thought that by doing this it wasn't causing such an issue, but it's caused some distrust among me and my future wife. The only thing that is really my profile is my picture and my kids. No, I'm not a rich tech guy that works for Apple, but I do work for a software development company that I work for, and I don't make close to a million a year. As a matter of fact, I'm far from that, but I do alright. I also didn't tell her that I do pay child support for my two kids, the third one lives with me. So, her K1 visa was approved, she is now here and she sees the way that I live if she's not happy with me. Well, why now would she be? Again, I did tell her that I have a five-bedroom house with three cars and that I live in a gated community. I sent you the pictures of where I live, and she sees now where I live, which is a two-bedroom townhouse and one car that is a Ford Flex. I honestly didn't think it was gonna be a big deal. I thought that she wanted to be with me, and I may have fudged the numbers when I said that I have millions in the bank, but it turns out I have way less than that. When I went to visit her, I did flex a little while I was there. I maxed out two of my credit cards trying to impress her, but she's clearly pissed off with me. And I told her that I'm sorry, and she said she says that why did I lie to her? And I honestly don't know. I thought this is what women wanted. Wanted to hear, but clearly I was wrong. I think my problem is that when the DMs overwhelmed me, I didn't know what to do besides try to keep it going. But me, I love the attention I was getting. We're 60 days into our 90 days of getting married. I'm a little scared because when she's talking to her parents, I was able to translate some of the conversation. Her parents said that she should think about if she wants to stay with me or not. Because if you come back home, well, you'll have to start all over. But Icon, here's the crazy thing. This is where it gets dark. She doesn't want to stay in America with me. She legit wants to go back home and start over. She called me a liar and a coward. Icon, I've seen where she lives. You mean to tell me that she would rather go back to her country, live in a paper mache house, then that was cold. Live in a paper mache house than to be with me? Make that shit make sense. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to her. She should be kissing my feet and forgiving me because you would thought I would have been cheating. Or maybe I should, because there's so many that would love to be with me. And she's just stupid because she can't understand why I did what I did. But I understand what I did was wrong, but how else was I supposed to get someone to fall in love with me? She has left she has left and went to go stay with my sister. I'd be lying if I say if I wasn't crying about her because I really love her so much. And I really don't want to lose her. My sister said I was a stupid one and I need to own up to it and make it right. Or I'll just be doing it all over again. Honestly, I kinda ask for your advice because you seem to be right about a lot of things. You helped me in some pretty bad times with your podcast. So I know you'll keep it real with me and I'm ready for it. Sorry if I sent you this email five times because I borrow I'm on borrowed time and I need this ASAP. So if you can please guide me to a better place, I'll be forever grateful, and who knows? Maybe you can come to my wedding or I can send you an invite. Well, first off, um, holy shit. Hold on.

Host Reaction And Hard Truths

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Um I yeah, so Mr. Joseph, first off, clearly you are you really overplayed yourself on this one, my friend. Um I don't understand what the hell you were thinking about. Um you're mad because she's mad at you because you fabricated a whole life story, and that's just ridiculously wrong. The fact that you would mock her house as paper mache is even more diabolical because I think what you said to her was wrong, and if she hears this podcast, she's probably gonna be more pissed off. But hey, it is what it is. I'm gonna give it to you straight. So I think you're wrong on so many levels because you're wrong, you're angry with her because you fabricated a life that you have not even close to being who you say you are. When you guys go into, and this for anybody that's listening, when you guys go into a dating profile, there's no need to be someone else other than yourself. What I've learned is that if you just be yourself, then the right woman will eventually come along, and if she doesn't, she will. Because there's no point of trying to fabricate something out of a lie, you know. Secrets and lies will always kill a relationship. No matter how careful you are, you always get caught. What's done in the darkness eventually will come to light. So, what I'm saying to you then, Mr. Joseph, that you sent me this profile that depicted you as like you were just straight flexing, straight balling out of control, like you had money out the wazoo. But you didn't have any of that. You not only went over there to meet this girl, but you spurged and you maxed out two of your credit cards. Something I would never ever do. You don't have to. It seems like you're trying to buy this girl's affection, you're trying to buy her love, and that's just wrong. It's wrong on all accounts. Listen. Let me back it up a little bit. Because I'm not always right about everything. Now, when I say I don't date American women, that's my prerogative. I just tell people why I don't date American women. And the fact that you said that um that you might share part of the blame with that, well, I think you probably share maybe three-fourths of the blame. Because judging by this letter and you kind of didn't keep it real with your fiance May, and you now have 90 days to get married. So for those of you guys that don't know, a K1 visa is a visa that would um give your future spouse uh 90 days entry into the US, but you have within 90 days to get married. If you don't get married within 90 days, well then you have to leave and go back to your country. That's what a 90-day 90-day uh K1 visa is, and I know you guys, some of you guys watch the show 90 Day Fiance, some of it's scripted, some of it's real, whatever, but I'm just giving you what I know now. Not all

K-1 Visa Pressure And Trust

SPEAKER_00 16:28

American women are the worst. I for me personally, I just can't seem to find the right one, and though I have tried, I decided to take my chances on the site that's called Filipino Cupid, where I did find somebody. So, and again, I'm not 100% right on everything. I do this show, just trying to offer my opinion and my advice. If it works for you, it works for you. If it doesn't, there's no hard feelings. Again, I've gotten plenty of hate mail and plenty of emails saying that you know you think you the shit because you do this, you do that. No, I don't. I don't. I just do this to help people out. You know, I like to give good advice. I've been told I give good advice, so I'm gonna try to give you the best advice that I possibly can. So while you think that I'm always right, my friend, I'm not always right. And but we're gonna take it back to your letter. Um, you had an anxiety attack because your DMs were exploding. Well, that's the thing about the Filipino women. Though they are good women, they are good people, and let's not be let's be clear. Let me be real clear. When I say they're good women, they're good people, they are. I've been to the country twice, I'm going back there a third time, and though all women are different, all different countries, there are some not so honest people or honest women in the Philippines, but for me, finding someone that you can truly love and respect you and that honors you is a plus. Now you found May, and she's from Bula Loco, Philippines, which again, okay, it's V-U-L-A-L-A-C-O Philippines. Now, I did look this up on the map, it's somewhere further south towards the Philippines. But the fact of the matter is that you went down there, you visited her, and you should have probably told her what your life was like, you know, instead of you going in there flexing with all this money or this money that you don't have, that you probably put yourself in debt even further, and that you have uh that you pay child support for two kids she didn't know about. Do you not think your future wife needs to know all of this? I mean, listen. It's okay to fabricate a little bit of the lie, but when you take a whole damn segment or a whole damn life and try to make it your own, it's just diabolical. It's wrong. It's wrong, it's eventually gonna catch up to you because lies always catch up to you. It doesn't matter how careful you are, it's always gonna catch up to you. So I think what you did was not only wrong, but then you kind of degraded her towards the end. And you're talking about her paper mache home. Listen, not everybody is blessed and fortunate to live the way we live in America. Um, yes, we have a corrupt government right now and an asshole for a president, but still, still one of the best places on earth to live. Now, you took it a step further towards the end to try to degrade her and say that that you were the that you're the best thing that's ever happened to her. But I think your problem is that you got this attention and that you wanted to. And let's be honest, when these Filipinos, when they DM you, they are really looking for someone that they can love. It's not that they want out of the lifestyle they're in, they're looking for genuine love. Now, event to their country. The men there are maybe 85% horrible than the men in the US. Because why? As again I say, they rely on the women to work and they rely on the women to take care of everything, while men go off and do Lord knows what. Now, the fact that she said she was gonna leave you and go back home clearly should be an indication she wants to be with you for you. She doesn't want to. If you kind of sold her on the lifestyle, but the lifestyle wasn't real, I'd be probably pissed off too. Because you sold her on a dream that's now become a nightmare. And the nightmare is that I don't know what the nightmare is, because I think that she was anticipating on coming here. Well, I'm just spitting fact, I'm just spitting my opinion. She may have came here hoping for a better life. But the fact that she said she was gonna leave you because of your lies, you had one, two, three, lie after lie after lie, maybe almost ten lies. I mean, what do you expect her to do? You want her to kiss your feet and forgive you. Well, that's gonna be up to her. Because let me tell you something. And I've seen this before if you project an image oh that is not real, and eventually you're gonna have to try to keep up with that image. The fact that she got a 90 day uh K1 visa is awesome, it's amazing. But the fact of the matter is that when she came here and that you showed her a life. That wasn't even yours, so she's now looking at you like, What the hell is this? You told me you had a five-bedroom home and three cars. I mean, I don't even know if they know what a Ford Flex is, but they do know what a five-bedroom home is. So, Mr. Joseph, I think that what you did, and you should really be humbling yourself, and you should really be trying to figure out what your next move is gonna be. Because I can give you the advice, but the fact of the matter is you should be calling this woman and groveling at her feet, begging her not to leave you because you lied, she didn't lie, you lied, you've seen where she lives, and then when you went over there, you kind of spent money like crazy because you thought you had it like that, but clearly you ain't got it like that. What is the point of trying to find someone that you love that you want to be with and then lying to them? What is the point of that? What is the point of just trying to live a whole separate life than what your life is now? Do you think that there's not a woman out there that wouldn't want you for you? And rather just you know, you make this whole lie, this life that you're not even gonna keep, or that you can't keep, that you don't you don't even have access to.

Why May Might Walk Away

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Oh my gosh. So the fact of the matter is this. The fact of the matter is this. You clearly messed up, and your sister is right, you are the stupid one because she's not stupid. Now, if you heard her on the phone and you were able to translate some of the things that she was saying to her parents, I don't think she was saying anything wrong. I don't think she was saying anything bad. I think she wants to be with you for you. As I said before, the Filipino culture is a very good culture, it's a rough culture because they have so many beautiful women there, so many beautiful places to see, but they are just an impoverished company. I mean, company, country, not company, they are very impoverished. So, if you find somebody like that, why not just hang on to them? The fact that you just kept this life going and going as diabolic until she got over here. I mean, I'm trying to figure out what this conversation would even look like. You know, you have three kids and one stays with you, big deal. If I'm thinking right, maybe she does want kids. But when you bring somebody over here with the anticipation of marrying them, you have every right and you owe them every explanation as to you being honest with them because you've already seen what she looks like, you've seen where she's lived, you've seen what she's done. So I think if she's here and she wants to go back home, that's gonna be on her because you lied to her. Now, Filipinos can take there's only so much they can take, and lying is not one of them. They are very jealous women, but thank God you didn't tell. Well, she's probably gonna know now about you know, you you're probably still on this site, which I can from life of me can't understand why you're still on the damn site if you have this young lady here at home with you. Why would you need anybody else? It seems like to me you're playing a deadly game. You're playing with fire, eventually you're gonna get burned, and you're gonna lose probably the best woman that's ever happened to you because you said you got three different uh baby mamas. Now, I'm gonna go back to your letter where you said it's probably more of your fault. If you're sharing 50-50 of the blame, then yeah, I would say it's more of it's it's a it's a 50-50 split on who's to blame. But now that I see what you wrote in this letter, I'm starting to begin to think that you're probably the cause of all of this. You know, I think that what you were doing in your previous relationships is that you were splurging and that you were working your ass off trying to provide a lifestyle for these women, kind of a a finer things than life lifestyle is what you were trying to provide. So, I don't know what men get out of that because I think at the end of the day, if you find somebody that wants that kind of lifestyle, then and if you want to work 10 times harder to try to keep them happy for that lifestyle, that's no relationship, that is just pure greed, pure materialistic bullshit. And when you want to align yourself with materialistic things instead of putting your relationship first, well, that's a recipe for disaster. It truly is. I don't understand why men need to go down this road because they see, I tell you what, I know why. It's because in America, women and men alike see this lifestyle that they think they're gonna get out of this lifestyle. Oh, I'm gonna be rich, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that, and then you guys kind of like the shit just gets out of control. What is the point of living within your means instead of living beyond your means? You know, a lot of rich people aren't really rich, and what I mean by that is that we see this stuff on social medias when people are flexing with all this money, it's not even real money. Do you think for one damn minute I'm gonna take a hundred grand or five hundred thousand, I'm gonna flex with that on IG or TikTok, knowing that at the end of that take I can probably get shot or stabbed or robbed? Who the hell does that? Who does that? Everything that is going on over here is strictly for clout chasing, clout chasing and trying to see who can get a bigger bag.

Stop Buying Love With Money

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Now, with that being said, I think that what you what you were trying to do with your past relationship, you were trying to buy them all, you were trying to keep them happy by buying them things. I don't know why your relationship ends. I'm just taking a wild stab in the dark here. I'm just taking a shot in the dark. I don't know why it ended, I don't, but I think it ended because of a life that you were promising these females and that you couldn't give them. Now, you have custody of one kid, you pay child support for two. I can only imagine what child support is eating your ass up in. My goodness. And then at the fact that you went to the Philippines and kind of maxed out two credit cards, that says a lot. But it's it's just ridiculous. It's not only ridiculous, it's just it's just bad. So here's what I'm gonna say to you, man. If you're a man, you're looking for love, and whether you find her here or another country, just be yourself, just be honest. There's no point of trying to live a whole separate life because when you try to live a separate life, you gotta keep up with both lives, and that's hard to do. I think it's much more easier to be yourself rather than try to live two different trying to live a double life. Because when you live a double life, you are not only gonna be confused, but you're gonna kind of be even more confused, more disconvogulated because the fact that you're trying to put up with two different lives, you don't know which way is up and which way is gonna be down. And when you get two lives going, it kind of comes in a tangled web, and then you're like, Oh my god, what the hell am I doing? Why don't you men just try to be yourself and just tell these women who you are? Now, as I said, when I meet a female, I tell them, I'm not rich, I'm not poor, I am somewhere in between, and I mean that. I am. I live in a four-bedroom duplex. I have two vehicles, uh, one's a 2007 and one's a 2017. That's as real as you're gonna get with me. There's no point in me trying to produce a lifestyle that I know that I'm not gonna be able to keep up with. Because if I try that, then I'm just gonna make myself not only crazy, but I'm gonna go broke doing it. I mean, I don't understand it, I don't get it, I don't get it because it's much more easier just to be yourself than to try to be someone that you're not, and when you're trying to be someone that you're not, then like I said, it just all spirals out of control, it all gets out of control really quickly. And while you think you're on that level of being like, Oh, I can handle this, I can do this. Well, you're not gonna be able to handle it because eventually, when you have a young lady like May, who eventually is gonna find out what really goes on behind closed doors, well, then you can't get mad at her because you lied at her. She has every right to get mad at you. Now, I don't know what Miss May was expecting. I don't know if she was expecting a finer things in life, so to speak. I don't know whether she was expecting to live her best life and maybe she can help her parents back home. I don't know. But it's clear to me that she doesn't quite seem like a really good gold digger to me. It seems like she was just somebody that was here for you. And yes, I know that you kind of fabricated this lies about the five-bedroom home and the three cars, and that's probably a life that she envisioned herself in. But I don't think she wants to marry you if you're gonna be a liar. I don't think she wants to marry you if you're just gonna lie through the whole marriage or the whole relationship.

Living Beyond Your Means Backfires

SPEAKER_00 31:52

I'm trying to figure out for the life of me how it was that you two. Well, I know how you met, but I'm just trying to figure out what more damage have you done to this young lady to kind of like say, well, it's almost her fault. But it's not her fault, it's your fault. You did this, you did this, you now have to atone for it. If she decides to leave you, hey, you're gonna have to go back to the drawing board, my friend. But at least if you go back to the drawing board, you are definitely gonna know what not to do. Damn, damn, damn, Jesus. I gotta take a drink of my tea. So if you had to start over again, that's gonna be on you. You did this, you caused this problem. And it sounds like your sister and I are on the same agreement or the same page about how this is clearly your fault and that you're the stupid one. I mean, the crazy thing is, if you feel this way about her situation, or if you think that she's done wrong, why bring any of this up? You know, paper mache homes. Okay, oh my goodness. I'm gonna try to keep it on this letter. So, me guiding you to a better place is this is gonna be me trying to take to get to a better place. You have some atoning to do. What you should be doing when you hear this podcast, you should be groveling at her feet, you should be apologizing one time a thousand times over, you should be telling her how sorry you are and that you lied to her, and then you should just lay all the facts out there. This is who I am, this is where I work, this is what I do, this is how much I make. Because let's be real honest, when a Filipino finds a person that they love, they're not in this room for the money, they're not, and you didn't say that when you went over there. That was one of the first things she's asked for. So, my guess is that you guys have been talking for a while, and there are now don't get me wrong, there are women in the world that's like that, and I know y'all probably gonna sit here and say, Well, why do you always put so much high regard on Filipino women? That's because I've yet to meet one that's kind of with gold digger status. Now, I don't discredit women over here in the US, I just think that they want too much, you know. They they don't want enough of you, they want enough of your money, but they don't want enough of you. And to me that's a problem. Because if you don't want enough of me, but you want my money, then why are you in the relationship? So while I'm saying that all women are not bad, it's probably more of a 50-50 split. You have some that are strictly in this for the money, then you have some that are strictly in it because they want to be with you. I got a feeling if May knew the real you, she would probably love you a lot more, and you would probably be getting married, and you probably wouldn't be real emailing me this letter. That's my feeling.

Get Off The Dating App

SPEAKER_00 35:13

I want to tell you something, Mr. Joseph. The next thing you should do is you should get off Filipino Cupid because you already have the woman that you want. If it doesn't work out, then you may go back to Filipino Cupid. But don't keep this damn thing up because not the fact that Filipinos are they're they like to snoop, but you can slip up one day, leave your browser open, she can get on your computer and be like, Oh, I want to check email, I want to call my parents, but your email pops up, or she sees the app or whatever on your phone or whatever, Filipino Cupid, and she sees you DMing these other women. So you need to find out, my friend, who what you want out of this life, who you want to be with. Do you want to be with May, or do you want to let May go back to the Philippines and try to try your luck at somebody else? Because I gotta tell you, when you find that special one and you know you find that special one, stick with that one. Don't try to go back and keep poking the bear and saying, Well, I can get more honey. Uh that was a bad analogy. I can get more than what I bargained for, or I can get I can have any women that I want. If you can have any women that you want, you wouldn't be in this situation. You wouldn't have three different baby mamas, and you wouldn't be trying to live a separate life. I mean, this shit sounds like it's a lifetime lifetime movie, you know. The man with a double life. But real talk, real talk, you should definitely get off the site because unless you're currently still acting, active looking for her, don't waste your time and don't waste her time. Let her know what you plan to do. Let her know that you messed up, and that if you want to be with me, I will be 100% honest with you, I will be 100% um transparent with you. I will not go back, I will not go back on my word. Hang on for a minute. But you should really be focusing on your relationship with her if that's what you want to do, if it's not what you want to do, let her go. Don't waste your time and don't waste, don't waste your time, don't waste her time, don't waste your time. Because I gotta say, I think you have a good woman. I think that she's definitely in your corner. I just think if you were a little bit more honest with her, I think we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. But hey, it's all good. I'm glad you emailed. Now I'm just trying to give it to you the best way I can. So again, I say, men, if you are just out here looking for someone and you want to try to find the right one, but you can't find it at home, wherever your home may be, it don't necessarily have to be in the US, it could be Canada, Europe, uh, Dubai, whatever. Just continue to be well, Dubai, hold on, hold on, Dubai, they they got money over there. I'm real tall, they got money. I mean, they got so many whys, it's ridiculous. But, anyways, if you're trying to look for somebody, just continue to be yourself. There's no point of being somebody that you're not, and when you when you're trying to be somebody that you're not, like I said, it's like a house of cards, it all falls down, it all comes down quickly, it'll fall down quickly. So, Mr. Joseph, I hope that this podcast is somewhat inspiring to you. But and I hope that if you let your girl listen to this, that you apologize for all the wrong things that you said to her or said about her. Maybe you didn't say it to her face, but you said it. You know, because not everybody wants a green card in America, some people just want to be happy, you know. You gotta stop thinking like you're the best thing walking this earth because there's plenty of men out here, plenty of good men, that will love a woman like May. And if you lose Miss May, then you're gonna be up shit creek without a paddle, and then you're gonna be back to square one. Then you're gonna probably be emailing me another damn email talking about well, this is what happened. I don't know what I did wrong. Really, you don't know, really, you know what? I would honestly, I would probably even do you one even better. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your current with your current baby mamas, but I would probably ask them for a observation of you. And if they give you an observation, and don't get mad at what they say, but you need to find out where you went wrong with them. Because again, I think that you went wrong with them is that you were trying to buy their affection and that they got so kind of used to the life that you kind of lost track of the life. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. So when you lose track of who you are and lose track of folks of what you're trying to do, then it eventually comes minute, it just becomes nothing. You're just simply just somebody that's trying to keep their

Attention Addiction And Better Choices

SPEAKER_00 40:41

head barely above water, you're trying to find love, but the kind of love that you're trying to find is the kind of love you're trying to buy, and when you're trying to buy somebody's love, that might work in the beginning, it might, it might, that might work in the beginning, that might work, that might work in some cases, but in this case, I don't think it's that case. I think this young lady here is just generally a lady who really wants to be settled down and happy. So and if you guys get a chance, well, I'm not gonna say that. If there are men in my feed or that watch this podcast, if you're single and you don't know what you're doing wrong, maybe take a look at yourself in the mirror. Now, I know I get it, you know, we want to be when we get the when we don't get the attention at home, but we get in other cultures, that makes us like happy. That makes us like, oh my god, we're like so over the moon taken, you know, because we never had this kind of attention before. But when we get this attention in some other part of the country or the world or whatever, well then we don't know what to do with ourselves. We're scrolling through the list like it's food, you know. We're going through the menu trying to figure out what we want or what's good or who's better or who's got the best product. And I get it, you know, because let's be real honest. When I was on the site, I was taken by it too. But eventually I had to find the right one for me. And when you find the right one, then ultimately it falls into place. So, and when it falls into place, then when you find that somebody that you really connect with and that you really love, you hang on to that. There's no need to go shopping, there's no need to keep watching or keep figuring out which which is the best and which is not the best because you already have the best, and if you have the best, let it be the best, let it be that way. Because I gotta be real honest with you. In this day and age, it is hard to find a good quality woman, and that doesn't matter if it's here in another country, it is just really hard to find a good quality woman. Now, the crazy thing is, Miss May could have been like, Well, I'm gonna stay with him and just you know do other do other things. What I mean by do other things, see other men. She could have said that, but she didn't say that. She's willing to go back home and try this all over again. And if that's not a good woman, I don't know what is because she just wants to be she wants to be truthful and honest with you, but you can't seem to do that with her. So you can only build upon truth, anything built on lies will eventually crumble and fall. So remember that. Remember that because it's hard, it really is hard trying to find somebody that you really want to be with. And I'm sorry to say that I still just not seen it over here with American women. I know this country is one of the best countries on earth, so I've been told because I don't know because you know China probably leading the way in that right now, or Japan, but What I'm saying is though I know we're supposed to be this great country on earth, but this country is a good country. It's just that when you're trying to find somebody, it's just not there. It's not there. Now, I've been told I'm not a handsome man. That's fine. That's good. I'm completely fine with the way I look or who I am. Don't you worry about it because somebody else loves me. And then when I'm with that somebody else, and then you see me years down the road, then you're like, oh wow, you really landed that. Yes, I did. Yeah. Yeah, I did land that. So when you find a good woman, that woman is going to eventually be there for you. She's going to love you, she's going to respect you. Love is a very fragile thing. Loving people is hard work. Being with someone is hard work. But when you put the work in, in the end, the rewards are great. They're good. Because when you love that person, that person loves

Real Love Takes Work And Honesty

SPEAKER_00 45:00

you back. Well, you're like head over heels in love with them. So Filipino women are some of the most beautiful women that I've seen thus far. Now, I've only dated um women in this country. But when I found the one that I loved in the Philippines, I was like, oh my god, she is just amazing. She is beautiful. She is everything that I want, everything that I need. And I found my happiness. And when you find your happiness, you want to hold on to that happiness because you don't want nobody else to have that happiness. And I know you can say, well, I thought you said there's a bunch of women. Yeah, there is a bunch of women over there. But you can't go through a whole damn continent or a whole damn country trying to find out what you want or who you love. You can only find out the one that's right in front of you. And the one that's right in front of you is the one that's gonna love you, the one that's gonna respect you, the one that wants to be with you, the one that wants to make you happy. I mean, if that ain't love, I don't know what is. I don't know. So I think that, Mr. Joseph, you need to do some serious soul searching within yourself. You need to find out who you want to be with. Either you want to stay with Miss May or you want to go back to the dating pool. Because I gotta be real honest with you, my friend. Just because your DMs are blowing up now, that's still you may have another anxiety attack on your hands if you want to keep going down this route. So, again, I say, if you're not going to be with Miss May, let her go, let her go back to the Philippines and let her try to find her happiness. Because I gotta say, if you let her go back and she finds her happiness, and you see maybe a social media post or something or Facebook or whatever, I'm not sure. But if you see her and you're like, oh my god, I can't even let this happen. And you said you cried for this woman, so if you cried for her, clearly you love her. I mean, geez, what the hell are you crying for? I mean, were you crying because you were mad, or what were you crying for? Come on now. So, if you're crying for somebody, clearly you love them, clearly you have feelings for them. And I'm gonna assume that it was always all good between you two until she got here and discovered your sham of a lifestyle that you live. Now, I don't get it, I just don't understand it. But hey, it's not for me to understand because I tell my boys, if you want to find a good woman, just be yourself, don't be somebody else, don't pretend to be somebody else that you know you're gonna have a hard time keeping up with. You know, when you're yourself and when you continue to do, be who you are, then everything comes into place, everything falls in line. You know, your love, your head over heels in love with her. You're like, oh my god, I can't be without her. Oh my god, I love her so much. Oh, I just love her. So the fact that she has a nine-day fee, uh 9-day visa, a K1 visa, is just awesome. I would take those last 29 days, because you're already on 60 days. I would take those last 29 days, and I would spend my whole time trying to make it right with her, and I pray that you do that. I really do. I pray that you both don't you don't let this good woman leave you and then go back to her country, and then you're gonna regret it. Because I think they can get over the whole kids thing, but and I know they don't have child support in their country, but we have it over here. But again, if you're gonna share a life with this woman, she needs you need to be upfront and transparent about everything, you need to let her know everything that you are possibly lied to her about. So you need to come clean, you need to respect her, you need to sit down and talk to her. I don't care where you do it. Maybe might I suggest a candlelight dinner, or maybe a weekend somewhere, maybe in a nice hotel, how about an MC Suites? I don't know. I'm just saying, but you don't want to lose this woman, and then you're gonna be crying up another river, and then you're gonna be sending me more damn emails talking about man, I don't know what I did wrong. No, I really love her. I could tell you what you did wrong. I just told you what you did wrong. Don't freaking lie to somebody who you want to be with. I mean, it'd be good if you had that life, but you don't have that life, you don't have even near close to that life. I mean, Jesus, godly. I got me man up here, damn it. Got me killing my damn vape. It's good though. But I'm simply saying this, Mr. Joseph. Get your affairs in order. Figure it out. I'm giving you everything I could possibly give you, everything I could possibly throw at you. I don't know what you want out of this lifestyle. You're 34 years old. It's a lot younger than I am. I mean, I'm 48, but you know, who's who's really counting? But it sounds like May is a good woman. It sounds like she really loves you, and I think you love her.

A Simple Plan To Make It Right

SPEAKER_00 50:27

Because if you didn't, you wouldn't be crying over her. Now, it'd be different if you were saying, Well, I was crying because you know I was cutting up onions. Nah, I'm just joking. But it seems like you have a good woman, a good Filipino woman, and again, this ain't no shade towards no women that's on my feed, my live, or that's listening to me, or whatever. Again, I'm with the hate mail shit, so send it after you hear this because I'm pretty sure it's coming. As I said before, I don't date American women. After my wife passed away, things went differently for me, and I found somebody who I can truly love. And that's alright. That's alright. In relationship, you don't need to lie and keep secrets, you're in a relationship to grow closer, not to hide things and run from and ruin trust. Let that sit in with you for a minute. You don't need to lie or keep any secrets. Because it's the first you want to spend your life with. So if this person chooses you, if she chooses to come back with you, man, you got some serious, some serious making up to do. And I hope you man, again, I would this is what I would do, Mr. Joseph. After you heard my podcast, I wouldn't email you after this is over, let you know, or whatever, if you're on my live, whatever. I would plan a good weekend for her. A good weekend. If you can afford it. Now I'm not saying you need to break the bank, max out another damn credit card or whatever, but if you can afford it, I would plan a nice weekend, a nice getaway, where it's just the two of you that you can just sit there and just talk. Because she's gonna have questions for you, she's gonna have a lot of questions. She wants to know a lot of answers. Number one, why did you lie to me? Yeah, yeah, why'd you lie? But I would take that weekend and I would try to make things right with her. Because if you don't, you're gonna lose a good woman. If you think you can find somebody better, by all means knock yourself out. Again, don't waste her time, don't waste your time. If you don't think she's the one for you, then keep it moving, keep it pushing. But clearly you've been crying over this woman, so clearly she's done something right and you've done everything wrong. And I guess you could say, well, you're not cheating, but it kind of feels like you are because you lied to her about this lifestyle that you have. So, I don't know, my friend, but lies is a betrayal. A man who lies to you is a man who doesn't value you or the relationship that you have. So, again, let that sink in. So, I hope that this podcast finds you well. I hope that this is putting some things in perspective for you, and even to my listeners. I hope that if you're thinking about trying to buy the affection of a woman, don't. Because if a woman really loves you, she's going to love you for you. Now, so I've heard or so I've seen that some women, you know, stick with some men for the money. That may be true, but you don't need a woman like that, you just need a woman that's going to be there for you, so you guys can take care of each other and so you guys can have a life of your own. But even though money is needed in this world, there are some people who rather be broke. Make sure I'm getting this right. There are some people who'd rather be in love and be broke than to be miserable with money. Because we know money, though we need it, but I think that in my situation, I don't have a lot of money. I don't. I'm not a rich guy. But I do what I can to take care of my family and provide for my family. And I'm good with that. Because that's what all I want to do. Now, should I win the lottery over the weekend? Then y'all won't ever see me again. Now I'm just joking. I'm just joking, y'all. I'm just joking. But if I won the lottery this weekend and I told my girl, I don't think nothing would change. I think the only thing would change would be our mindset and what we can do for other people. But would I lie to have money in my bank? Yeah, I would. I'd like to have a lot of money in my bank. But I don't. But I do what I do for my family because I love my family. You know, and I wouldn't change any other way. But if money seems to be a factor that comes into our relationship, I don't think it's gonna change me. It's not that's not gonna change my family. Because I'm still gonna live a simple life. I'm gonna live within my means. If I could win the lottery over the weekend and I could tell my girl, like, hey, I won the lottery, you know. Well, what does that mean? Well, that means we're gonna be living a lot more comfortably. We're gonna have money in the bank, we're gonna have money for you and the kids or to do whatever. And that's all I want. You know, I don't need to go out there and buy a million-dollar home and a $500,000 car. Why would I need any of that shit? I don't need none of that. Though money is happy and it's good to have a relationship, but I think being with the one that you want to be with the most is the most happiest and the most rich relationship that you can anybody could ever have. So that's just me. That's just my opinion. So, Mr. Joseph, again, I hope this podcast finds you in good form, good taste. If you want to email me back, um, I probably won't make the wedding, not sure when your wedding is, but let's just say I can't get off work. I gotta keep grinding because I'm going to the Philippines in August, and I'm gonna have a damn good time. Yay! So, but we're gonna get ready to shut it down. Just

Final Thoughts Thanks And Farewell

SPEAKER_00 56:34

want to say thank you for my listeners, thank you for the downloads. You guys keep sharing my podcast and keep sending me the emails, um, emails of support. I did get a few hate ones in there, but you know, we'll go through that later. But I appreciate the people that really support my show, and I want to say thank you to all of you guys. So, as we get ready to let this show phase out or dwindle out, I'm gonna leave y'all with this last track. It's called Meta by Blue Steel, one of my favorite artists. So, until next time, my friends, you guys take care of yourself and each other.

SPEAKER_02 57:41

You've been listening to icon, but let's talk about it. Please follow me on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook. Thanks for spending time with me today. Always remember, I can't control life, but I can control how I react to it. Stay started, and I'll see you soon.