Sugar Daddy Secrets

We walk through Lexi’s story from the beginning: meeting a married man, getting pulled into the fallout of his first marriage, and then jumping into a fast proposal with no real time to heal. From there, we talk straight about what a sugar daddy and sugar baby arrangement is, why a married person using those sites is a huge betrayal, and how the lie “I’m single” shifts the blame away from the younger woman who may not know the truth. 

If you’ve ever wondered what to do when the receipts are real but your heart is still attached, this one will hit. Subscribe for more real talk, share this with a friend who needs clarity, and leave a review with your take: is confronting enough, or is walking away the only answer?

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Transcript

Tech Glitches And Welcome

SPEAKER_02 2:44

It's the name of the shape.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

All right, y'all. Technical difficulties here. Yes, yes, yes. I think we got this shit worked out, y'all. How's everybody doing up there? Y'all doing all right? Y'all doing good? We're gonna get started with the show here in just a second. We had some technical difficulties here, but I think that got worked out. In any event, want to welcome y'all to the show. I am the icon. The show is called Let's Talk About It. Today we have uh a letter. First off, how y'all doing? Y'all doing alright? I've had a good week as it gets closer to my vacation time. And uh but it's all good. Hopefully everybody's having a good day, a good week, or whatever you're having. Hopefully it's all good. So I didn't get to post on the last last week because we had uh a technical difficulty that we worked out, or I guess that we worked out, but in any event it's all

The Letter: Husband On Sugardaddy.com

SPEAKER_00 6:45

good. So without further ado, we have a um a bit of a letter here that I found maybe kind of amusing, if not sad, but amusing. But I don't know. I'll let y'all be the judge of that. So without further ado, this letter is entitled My Husband Is a Sugar Daddy. Yes, a sugar daddy. I didn't think those exist anymore. But in any event, let's get into the letter. Let's see if we can help this young lady. Um, it's kind of weird, but yeah, we'll get right into it. Off we go.

Lexi’s Backstory And The Discovery

SPEAKER_00 7:21

Icon. Please excuse if I'm not speaking correctly on this email, but I'm so pissed off right now. I found out that my husband is on this site called sugardaddy.com. And I honestly can't believe it. Because this fool is so damn cheap, I didn't think he would ever be on a site like that. Let's back up a little bit. My name is Lexi, I'm 30 years old, my soon-to-be ex-husband is 42. We don't have kids because he already has kids with his first wife. Now I honestly don't know why he didn't want kids with me. But I've met But I met him when he was working when I was working as a nanny for one of his neighbors. No, I didn't nanny for his kids, but I didn't know that he was married until his wife caught me and him at a hotel where she magically showed up and waited for him to leave the room. Well, maybe it wasn't like that. She called and said that one of the kids was hurt is that he needed to go home to get home. But as soon as he went out to his car, she was out there waiting on him. And all I remember is that she slapped the hell out of him and kicked him out of the house. So he came to stay with me in my trailer with my parents. Okay. He was there for almost a year, and I think it was definitely different for him because he's not used because he's used to the finer things in life, and it was hard for him to adapt to my lifestyle. Okay. But nevertheless, we made it work. But his wife filed for a divorce when she found out that it was that it was me. And she also got me fired from my job. Yeah, okay. Needs to say, I don't know why she came after me, but I didn't know but I didn't know he was married, or maybe I did. But the family I nanny for said they couldn't allow me to wreck another family in the neighborhood. So I was fired and blacklisted from the neighborhood I worked for. I didn't think that's possible, but I guess it is. I honestly didn't know that can happen, but they are but there's a first time for everything. So after his divorce, he quickly proposed to me and I immediately said yes, of course. And we moved out of the trailer park away from my parents. Into an apartment with a three-bedroom because he has kids. So it was okay. I started to nanning again in the complex that I lived in, which was huge, and we didn't really know a lot of our neighbors. And again, we had just moved in about a month ago. So I found out my cheap ass husband was on the site because get this, the lady that I'm nanning for, her best friend found the guy, found this guy to take care of her on this site and show me the picture, and I'll be damn icon. It was my husband with some with some of his old but current pics of him at the marina in the gym. So I played dumb and I asked for the site. I wanted to I wanted what she had, so I went home and created a profile, and sure enough, it was him and this profile said single father looking for a sugar baby. What the hell is a sugar baby? So needless to say, I haven't confronted him on this yet because I want to know what I should do before this gets out of hand. I know the girl that he's seeing, and she's 24, icon. What the hell? I don't understand why this is happening to me because I've been nothing but a good wife to him. And I also found out that she's pregnant, so I'm really starting to wonder about him. I can't believe that he's spending that kind of money on a female when he has me his wife, and the fact that he might have another baby is just not good. I want a kiss, but he said we should wait, so I said okay. So I'm not able to see his finances, I probably wouldn't understand him anyways, because every time I asked to go out or buy something, he's like we can't afford it or we don't have the money. But I don't understand how because when he was married, living in the community that he was living in, he had three vehicles, a nice house, damn icon. What the hell happened? I may not be the smartest when it comes to relationships, but I know how to take care of my man. I may not cook as good as his first wife, but he doesn't complain about it. Especially when I make ramen noodle surprise. I don't know. Let's just get to the letter. Ramanoodle surprise. So Icon, what should I do? I mean, I do love him, but I think he loves I think he loves me too, but this sight and this female has me all flipped. I just want to be happy with him, and though it seems like he has to start all over again, but I'm sure to him it was worth it. So icon, can you please help me? The Roma

Ramen Noodle Surprise And Red Flags

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Noodle, the Romanoodle surprise took me out because as much as I wanted to email her back and ask her what the hell was Roma Noodle surprise, I mean I can't even imagine you can't really do that much with Roma noodles. So, I mean, damn. Um my god. Okay, so uh Lexi, let's just give it to you straight. Um this is bad from the jump. Um the fact that you met this man and you didn't know he was married, but then again you may have said you thought you knew that he was married is just I don't know. It's kind of uh not a very good flex.

Sugar Daddy Vs Sugar Baby Explained

SPEAKER_00 12:50

For those of you guys who don't know what a sugar daddy is and a sugar baby is, a sugar daddy is usually a wealthy older man who gives money and gifts to support a younger person in exchange for companionship, affection, or romance. Um basically it's I didn't even think this should still happen. And the sugar daddy, the sugar daddy dating site is a real thing. No, I'm not on it because I don't need to be on it, because I'm not giving nobody my damn money uh unless we are in a committed relationship. So on this site, you can sign up to be a sugar baby, and there's sugar daddies, they're mostly uh mostly older white men, you know. I'm just gonna like I see it. Um mostly older white men that you know find younger women that they can take care of. I don't know what the agreement is on the relationship, maybe there's sex involved, maybe there isn't. Um, but basically it's just basically just what it is. So a sugar baby is excuse me, excuse me, a sugar baby is a female that is uh maybe on a little bit of a younger side. Um as I'm looking at this side, I see they're mostly like 25, 24, 23. Now I do see a 37-year-old, so I'm not sure if that qualifies her as a sugar baby, but hey, whatever. The ages range and they vary. I honestly did not know this was a thing. I've heard about um sugar daddies in the past, but I didn't know this site was a real thing. In any event,

Rebound Marriage And The Pattern

SPEAKER_00 14:35

I don't know what this guy looks like, I don't really care. Um but Lexi, you are 30 years old. You and I hate to say this, but I'm gonna say it's respectfully, you are kind of the rebound for this relationship because not only did his wife catch you at the hotel that you were in when I'm still trying to figure out the hell that even happened, but you were caught with her husband in a hotel room. And the crazy and sad thing is, excuse me, is that after you got a divorce, he proposed to you and you said yes. What the hell? So the only reason why I say that you're the rebound because there was no kind of healing process. Um there was no time for the healing process. Um when he got divorced, he jumped right back into a relationship. Now, I don't know how this could have been good for the both of you, because clearly, um, he was caught cheating on his wife with you. So clearly you have to have some kind of inclination of that you did not think this is gonna happen to you. I mean, he's on a site for sugar daddies, and he found him a sugar baby, and the girl's 24 years old, and you know her. Well, you don't really know of her, you know her through the lady that you babysit for or nanny for in a farming complex, and you have nannies? I guess you do. Whatever, it is what it is. In any event, you don't really know this girl, but she showed you a picture of your husband. What do you think you should do? You think you should just let this ride and just let him be happy or you want to stay in this relationship? Because clearly, I'm gonna tell you exactly where this is going to end. This is not gonna end good for you. And if he does have a kid by this woman, oh boy. Looks like somebody just pissed all over your parade. Because if he has a kid by this woman, which is clearly what you wanted, but clearly I don't understand it. I don't I don't understand it because clearly you're 30 and you said she's 24 and she's pregnant. I don't know if it's his kid, maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but that's something you're gonna have to find out on your own. But you are a 30-year-old woman. When you got kicked out of the house, you went to go stay with your he went to go stay with you and your parents in their trailer in their trailer home or their mobile home, trailer park home, or whatever it's called, trailer park community, whatever the hell it is. And he was almost there for a better part of a year. I'm trying to figure out how the hell this even happened or how this even came about because this doesn't make any sense to me. Because you said that the neighborhood that he lived in, he had three cars and he had the finer things in life. Well, if his wife took him to divorce court, then I guarantee you he ain't living the finer things in life anymore because he's with you and you're in a three-bedroom apartment. Just saying, I'm just saying. So, Lexi, you gotta be smart about this. Because if you don't think this is gonna happen to you, it is happening to you. I mean, the fact that you can't cook is just really diabolical. You're a 30-year-old, you're 30-year-old woman, and you said he doesn't complain when he makes makes when you make his Roman noodle surprise. God, I want to know what that is. Really want to know what you do to that. Because there's not a whole lot you can do with ramen noodles. I mean, they got different flavors. I mean, and I've seen sometimes uh um Asian culture, they do things, they do a lot of good things with ramen noodles, but you your ass ain't Asian. You are I don't I don't know what you are. I'm guessing, I'm guessing you're white. I'm just gonna say it. I'm guessing that you're white. But the fact is that you're 30 years old and you're still babysitting and you're a nanny. Maybe you're good at that, that's fine. Maybe that pays the bills, that's fine. I don't know what he does, but if he lived in that kind of lifestyle before he met you, and then that somehow got interrupted because of you, then I don't know. I mean, if he's got it, if he's filed for a divorce and he got the divorce and then he married you, but I don't think he was totally happy with you. I think what it was is that he was probably afraid of being alone. And when you are afraid of being alone, you kind of navigate to the next person that not really showed you kind of interest that is kind of there for the moment. Now, we've all had a rebound, we all know what a rebound is. A rebound is somebody that when you get a relationship, that's the first person you navigate, possibly have sex with, have a good time with, and then maybe two or three months down the road, it's completely up in smoke. And I think that's what this relationship is. I think this relationship is not gonna go anywhere because I think you are the rebound. The fact that he went and found somebody that's 24 years old, which is well, he's 42, so it's not really a big deal, but the deal is that he didn't give himself enough time to grieve the process of knowing that he got a divorce and that he's got other children. You wanted kids with him, but something tells him that he saw something in you that probably wasn't kid kid material. I mean, not saying that your situation's kind of bad, but sweetheart, you can't really cook. I'm trying to figure out how you was a nanny. Well, then again, kids do eat anything, so I don't know. Lexi, I think that you are headed down a bad road. I don't think anything is I don't think none of this is gonna go the way you think it's going to. Because you got married to this man, you're now about to be his second, his second wife, and you said according to you, it's gonna be your it's gonna you're gonna divorce him. Well, you said you're gonna divorce him, but then in the end, you said you loved him. Which one is it? Are you gonna stay with this man and allow him to continue to do what he's doing, or are you just gonna just say enough is enough? Obviously, he cheated on you with his wife, and now you're his wife, and now he's cheating on you again. What more is it gonna take? I don't understand it. Um I don't get it. So I don't think you and you said you're not really allowed to see his finances, but you said he claims he's broke and he's paying for all this stuff for this other girl. But I got a feeling that you're you were just there for the moment. You were probably just someone that was there for him to I'm not gonna say lift his spirits because I don't know what is going on here. I don't. I don't know how you guys you met him when you was working as an enemy, one of the neighbors. Clearly, um that didn't fathom out well because that doesn't really give me much to go off of, but I can probably spend it like this. You probably met him, and I'm not sure how the relationship got started. I don't know how y'all ended up in bed together. Because you didn't really give me a lot to go off of. So I'm gonna try to do the best that I can with what I got. Now the fact that his wife knew that he was cheating with you, I don't know how that even came about. Because this may not be the first time that she caught him. And if it's not the first time, then maybe I would say maybe need to sit down with the ex-wife and have a chat with her. Will she be friendly with you? Probably, maybe, maybe not. Maybe she said you had this coming. I mean, as I say, you did it to her, so now he's doing it to you. So I guess this all comes full circle. Damn it, really full circle. So I don't know how you're gonna spend this life. I don't know how what this life is gonna be entailed for you, but clearly um you need to get a little bit smarter about the relationship that you're in. You need to get smarter within yourself because if you don't understand finances, and it sounds like that you're relying on this man to hand in foot or to do everything for you. I'm not saying that, that's just what I'm just that's what I'm gathering. If you don't understand finances, I'm not sure how the hell you're even in a relationship. I mean, you're 30 years old, and if you've been nannying since I don't know when, I would hope that pays the bills, but if you're nanny if you're listening, let's just call it what it is, you're babysitting for somebody in the complex. A nanny would indicate that prior to you cheating, or prior to him cheating with you, you used to live with this other family. Now that's all fine and Danny, that's what I call a nanny. Nanny's like a live-in person, takes care of the house, the home, and then the family that you were nanny for saw this as a red flag, is like, oh no, and not to mention you are probably the talk of the HOA, which is even more bad. So, you're blacklisted from one HOA, which I'm not even sure how the hell that can even happen. But then again, there are a lot of women that talk in the HOA. So the fact that you are a nanny is just really I'm really taken back by that. So it doesn't mean you can't do that or pursue that, but it just means you gotta get smarter about your life and what you're doing with your life. You can't just keep going around sleeping with you know married men. You say you didn't know, but I think you kind of did know that he was married. Because if anything an HOA has taught me when y'all all have meetings and everybody gathers for a meeting, well, everybody knows somebody, everybody knows that you were a nanny for this particular family that you were nannying for. So miss me with that because I don't really believe that you did not know that he was married, because I've yet to see any single man in an HOA community unless you're older. I mean he's only 42 for Christ's sake, so clearly he's been in this community for quite some time. I mean, obviously, because the wife got the house and he had to move out with you and your parents in the trailer park. So, my guy, what the hell? Oh, give me just a second here. But but what I'm trying to gather is that you've had some rough relationships, and you've probably seen this as an opportunity to be with somebody who you thought loved you, but clearly I don't think he loved you. I think he was just there, you were just there for the moment. Now, let's just let's just forget all that.

Confront Him Without Going Wild

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Contrary to what you think or what you believe, it's not gonna help you in this situation. Because the situation is that your husband is cheating on you, and you want to know if this if this child is his. I don't know how you're gonna find that out unless you decide to do some single wife female type shit and go befriend this lady and get to know her on a personal level. I'm not trying to give you ideas, but I wouldn't I wouldn't approach her. Just like you didn't get approached when the wife, when the first wife found out you were cheating, you need to count you need to get in contact with your man, your husband. Because ultimately in the end, he's the one. And I gather that she did not know that he was married because in the profile it says single. It says that. Yeah, it says single father looking for a sugar baby. So you can't really go off on her and get back at her and fault her for knowing that that's your husband. Because you didn't even say nothing to the lady that you're babysitting for. Because you said that was her friend, her best friend, or her friend, or whoever she has, damn, but and she's 24. How old are these people that you're babysitting for? That's my thing. I mean, I don't get it, but whatever. In any event, I think that what's going on is that you are caught up in a kind of a bad situation because if he's coming home to you, man, I wish I had a lot to go on this side of I really don't have a lot to go on, but I don't know. So if he's coming home to you, I don't I don't know. I don't know, I don't understand, I don't get it. But in any event, it's not good for you, Lexi. I think you should confront him, talk to him, and find out what the hell's going on. If he's going to be honest with you, let him be honest. If he's not, if he is honest with you, then it's gonna hurt. Would you rather him keep lying to you and saying that, oh no, well, this, that, and the other? I mean, that's the crazy thing is I don't know what's real and what's not real on the internet anymore because I see these TikTok videos where these people have their where they're confronting their spouses and they have like dating apps and stuff like that. How in the hell do you even find this shit? I don't get it. I mean, that doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, it okay, it does make sense, but how do you find out if your spouse or your mate is cheating on you? I mean, then you find it through a website, but then again, I gotta say some of these people, and then some of these people that find these things, it's just really weird and diabolic how y'all find these things. But they're on TikTok, and it's probably where I see this stuff, is that there's they're exposing their cheating, their cheating partner or their wife or their husband. And I gotta say, some of it may seem real, some of it may seem stage, but I don't really know what's what, you know. But in your case, Alexi, you have somebody who showed you his dating site, you created a profile and went on the site and found out that that's your husband. So you have all the proof, you have all the evidence. Now, what you choose to do with it, I don't know. But what I would do is I would sit down, I would talk to him, and say, Find out why he's doing this. Because I thought that you were in love with me, and I thought we were gonna be together. Maybe not forever, because clearly when he jumped out of one marriage, he hopped right into another one. I mean, he didn't give him no time to breathe, no time to do nothing. He said, Sound like it's like he signed on a dotted line or said, and then went to you and said, Will you marry me? And you gladly accepted without any equivocations of what could happen or what you think was gonna happen. Because I gotta say, this is starting to happen all over again. He did it with his first wife, now he's doing it with you. I don't know if there's time to chart, I'm not even sure where this relationship is going with this new this new lady that he's got, but you can't go after her. You can because she didn't know, because it says that on his profile says that he's single. Now, I'm not saying do anything stupid, I'm not saying follow him and try to blow the spot up or crash out or do anything like that. I'm not saying none of that. I'm simply suggesting that you need to talk to him and find out what's going on with him because it doesn't seem like this is going to end well for you, and you're gonna be the one that's gonna be hurt over this, and you're gonna be if you're not already hurting now, you're probably gonna be much more, a lot more hurt. And the only reason why I say that is because you gotta understand, Lexi, you were, and I keep saying going back to this, you were caught. Well, he was caught in a hotel with you, and his wife was outside waiting for him. How do you think she would know that? Maybe he has another profile somewhere that you didn't know about, and maybe that's his MO. Maybe he's just not happy, or maybe he is happy, but he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. I don't know. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. But this is what I would do if I were you. Again, I would. You don't really need me to give you the advice. You have everything in front of you. You don't need to see his finances to know that he's cheating. You don't need to see his finances that he's spending money on this other person that he says he didn't have any money.

Money Control And The Real Motive

SPEAKER_00 31:53

I'm trying to figure out where the hell y'all stay because clearly he must be paying some serious alimony to his first wife. And that may be the other reason why he says he ain't got no money. But if he's living in that kind of community, he's got a good paying job. Only thing I can say is thank God you ain't got no kids behind. Because once this other lady finds out that he's married, if I'm sure you're going to tell her and try to look her up, I'm not trying to give you any ideas on that, but don't do anything stupid, don't do anything crazy. Again, the common misconception is that women always go after other women, even though they may or may not know that they're married. If they did know they're married, then yes, that's a huge problem. But if they didn't know, I don't I don't think so. I mean, it doesn't matter what a man can tell you, you need to do your due diligence, you need to try to get in this background, try to figure out who he is, what he's about, and what he's up to. So, and I guess the same way could go for men in this situation. Because I've seen women do this stuff to their spouses, to their husbands, and they ended up being the ones that's cheating, and it just it's just not good. It's not good, it's not a good look, it's all bad. So, what I would challenge you to do is just sit down, talk to him, and try to figure out what you can get out of him. Now, if he says, if he says yes, he's cheating, then you'll have your answer. But I'm not sure if he's gonna lie to you on this, and I know what he's probably gonna say. He's probably gonna say, Well, I thought I was in love with you, but I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with this other person, this 24-year-old, who apparently is having my baby. I'm not saying that he is his baby, but I'm just gonna say that's what I'm gathering the conversation is gonna be about. You're gonna be pissed off, you're gonna be upset, you're gonna be hurt over this whole thing. It's gonna be just just kind of bad for you. So I feel kind of bad for you, but turn this into a learning lesson, you know. I've seen women come from things like this, and women this what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger. And I'm I gather that you are a strong woman. You need to probably get some cooking lessons going, but I gather that you're a strong woman because I'm not sure what the hell ramen noodle surprise is. I'm still trying, you know, I was trying to look that up online, but didn't really see it. But anyways, I'm gonna try to stay on topic. But again, I think you were just there for the moment, and that's what happens in a relationship. Again, I say that when you come out of a relationship, I'm not even sure how they were married. If they were sound like they've been married for a pretty long time, if they have wife and kids, I mean if he has kids and they've been living in this neighborhood, but I'm not even sure about that. But I think you were just a rebound and you got caught up in a whole bad situation. And the bad situation is that this man quickly decided he wanted to get remarried again right after he signed on that dotted line, and then you were just there for the moment. Instead of you saying no, let's take the time to you know maybe progress our relationship, get to know each other a little bit better. You said yes. Who in the hell does that? Knowing what you knew about him and what had happened with his first wife, you still said yes. Why would you do that? I don't understand it. I would have just probably took the time and said, Well, listen, let's just take some time, and if it's meant to be, it will be. If it's not, if it's not there, it ain't. Now, you could have let him stay out wherever the hell he was gonna stay. I don't really think he was gonna be homeless anyways, but maybe he was. I mean, clearly the wife got everything in this divorce. Clearly, she got everything. I'm not even sure what state y'all in, but clearly she got everything, and probably got not only not only child support, but she's probably getting alimony too. Which damn Jesus. Listen, man, if you're gonna cheat, if you're gonna step out on your wife, don't have any assets involved. No, I'm just joking. I'm joking, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But what I'm saying is that she got everything, and though it was probably a step back for him to go live in a trailer park with you and your parent your parents, which again, I'm trying to figure out how that even came about. But I'm I'm trying to picture my head how that what that living situation was about. Because you said it was almost for a whole year, a whole year. He was probably working his ass off to get out that place. He's probably like yeah, I've got to get the hell out of here. But in any event, y'all found a nice apartment and you try to make a house a home. Nothing wrong with that, but I think you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I that's what I honestly think, that's what I believe. I think that while you're there for him, he's not totally there for you. And I've said this before. Anytime you're in a relationship like that, it just never just never gonna go the way you think it is, it's never gonna be what you want it to be because you gotta remember, he was caught doing something with his wife, with you, and again, the wife didn't come to you, she went to him as well as she should have, and she pretty much took everything for what he probably damn near had, and it would probably reduce him down to nothing because again, he went to go stay with you and your parents in the trailer park.

Self Worth And Safe Next Moves

SPEAKER_00 37:16

I'm just saying, damn it. So, Alexi, if you can take anything from this, I'm not sure how close you are with your parents, I'm not sure how if you're close with anybody. Maybe try to find some kind of outlet, find some get a second opinion, don't just take my opinion. Talk to your mother or your father, prefer your mother. Or I'm not sure how this is gonna go, but hell, talk to them both. Because you don't really give me a lot to go on in this letter, but I'm trying to do the best one I got with what I have. So, while I wish the best for you and I hope that this podcast finds you in a good way, I would not do anything stupid, especially to someone you don't even know, or that you know for a fact that knows that he was not married, because there's pictures of him in the gym at the marina, those are probably his fun days or his happy days, and I guarantee you he ain't got a kid in that damn photo on that damn site, and I guarantee you he may not even know about the first wife, let alone the second wife. You would be the second. I'm gonna say the first. So he probably wouldn't even know, she wouldn't know. So, what can you do? So, I hope that you find some kind of common ground on this. I hope you are just gonna sit back and listen and think about what your actions are gonna be because you don't want to end up doing something stupid, because that's a misconception. You know, we women get more hurt than men do, women have a lot more anger and aggression than men do. Why? Because they put up with a lot. Case in point, the first wife. I I can almost guarantee you she knew he was cheating. I can almost guarantee you that she knew he was cheating because this is probably not his first rodeo, but women put up with a lot of shit from men, you know, they put up with the cheating, the lying, and anything else, and the fact that she has made a home for him and his kids. I guarantee you she getting a nice little piece of something, something every month. I can almost guarantee you that, and that's what she should be entitled to. Now, whether or not you're gonna be entitled to that, I don't know because again, if you're talking about you're gonna divorce this guy, but then again, you say you love me, you still want to be with him, don't be that girl. You gotta understand there's somebody out there, there's someone for everybody out there. You don't need to be in a relationship that a man can just sit here and do whatever he wants and just do without consequence. What's he gonna tell you? I'm not gonna do it again. How do you even know that? Maybe he just needs to be alone and to get himself together and to try to figure out his own self. He's only 42 years old. In my mind, that's still kind of young. He ain't even nowhere near 50 yet. But maybe he just needs to be alone and try to figure out his life and what he's gonna do with his life and how he's gonna progress on with his life because I don't know how many since well, he's got kids already. If he's about to have another kid, oh boy, oh boy, but eventually what's done in the dark will come and last eventually what's done in the dark will come eventually come to light. So if he's gonna if he's Jesus, I'm trying to figure out how this if she's pregnant, hold on, if she's pregnant, then clearly he must have been doing this when you guys were maybe at his parents' house. Huh. Huh, I don't know. I'm just saying. So in any event, you have some thinking to do, Miss Lexi. Either you're gonna stay with him, which I pray you don't, or you're gonna know when to fold him and let him go. Let him go, make somebody else's life miserable. Because if he's gonna do it to you, and I'm not sure. Man, I'm still trying to figure out how she got pregnant though. How far along is she? I wish I would have known that. Because that would have really put things in perspective. Because that means he's been doing this before you or even in well, he was doing this with you. So not only was he banging you, but he was banging her. I don't know. Yeah, well, whatever. In any event, that's what it is. So um, oh my goodness, Miss Lexi. I don't know. I don't know. So a time will come in your life when people will regret the way they treated you wrong. Trust me, it will definitely come. So don't waste your time with explanation on people. Only hear what they want, they only hear what they want to hear. So I believe that you can overcome this. I believe that you're gonna be a stronger woman than this. You may be 30 years old, but still, you still have a lot of life to live, you still have a lot of love to give. If you I'm telling you that you were wrong, and I'm telling you that this is not gonna go the way you think it's going to go. I'm telling you that it's just gonna be a blow-up from jump. Well, I wish you the best. I hope that everything goes smoothly, but you may have to move back home with your parents. I know it's probably not what you want to hear because you're 30 years old, but hey, it is what it is. At least if you go back home, you can get yourself together. You can find clarity within yourself, you can get your own self together, get your own place. If this is your main focus of your job or your area expertise, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know how much you can make by being a babysitter or a nanny, because it seemed like when you had a when you were being a nanny, it seemed like that would have might have been a sweeter gig than what you're working with now. Because I've never heard of a nanny in a farming complex. I just heard babysitting. Again, a nanny is defined to me as somebody who lives in with the family and it's like their personal personal maid or something like that. Something like that. But they live on the property. In any event, I think you're gonna be okay. I think that you just need to take a break, take a deep breath, maybe get a glass of wine, figure out any and everything that you want to do or what you want to say. Don't turn, don't let it turn violent. You're gonna be pissed off, you're gonna be angry. I know that you're angry in this letter, but violence never solves anything. If you want Hit him where it hurts, hit him in his wallet. Hell his first wife did. I'm not sure what you're gonna gain from that, but you don't even have kids by him. So I don't know how this is gonna go for you, but I hope it goes well. And I hope that he finds some kind of solace in his life that would just make him stop and think, why am I doing this? But then again, most men don't. Most men like the thrill, the rush of having multiple women or doing this, that, and the other. I'm not sure what led him to this crossroads in his life. I don't know, but I don't wish nothing bad on you, and I don't wish nothing bad on him. I just hope that you two can sit down and talk about this and try to be reasonable adults. So, you seem like you have it all together, you're just a little bit lacking in the cooking department and the finance department, but that doesn't say you can't change any of that. I'm not trying to put you down, I'm not trying to shade you or nothing like that. I'm just trying to tell you, as a young woman, you're 30 years old, you should clearly have some kind of inclination of what your life is going to be like. So, if you come across another married man, tell him, hey, look, I appreciate it, but I'm not even into you like that because you have a whole wife. I don't care if you separate, I don't care if they're if she's in a whole nother country. That's what it is. So,

Final Reality Check And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 45:20

in any event, as we get ready to close this podcast out, I want to say thank you for those that continue to support my podcast. Um, believe your life can change for the better, and give yourself a reason to believe every single day, and that's what I believe. Because my life is changing for the better for because I get so much support from you people. But it's been a great day, it's been a great week. Um, Miss Lexi, I hope that this podcast finds you in a good way. I hope that you're just gonna be, I know you're gonna be pissed. Yes, she does need to know her worth and work on herself. Yes, she does. But I know she's gonna be pissed, but you gotta understand, women are much more stronger than men. That's why God put them on this earth. Because they're way much more stronger than men, because women have the ability to deal with things that men just can't. You know, when a when a when a woman cheats on a man, a man wants to go completely left field. He wants to go smooth off, he wants to, he he's seeing murder, basically. But when a woman gets cheated on by a man, then that's kind of a scary thing because women, you never know. You never know what they're thinking or what's gonna happen. But in any event, some people are not sorry for what they did, they're just uncomfortable that you know who they really are. They don't regret their betrayal, they regret the exposure. So, Miss Lexi, find who out find out who you are, be the person that you were meant to be. Be somebody that you can just walk away from this and keep your head held up high. Don't let this one instant define you as a woman. Because I know as a woman you're a strong woman, you're an independent woman, you're a beautiful woman, you're a great woman. And just because you just because you may or may not knew he was married, that doesn't mean you deserve this. Now, I do believe in karma and what comes around goes around, but still, you can come back from this. And I believe that you can come back from this. So keep your head to the sky. Always remember that you're grateful to be alive moving forward, no excuses, no distraction. Have a positive mindset. So as I get ready to close it out, I want to say again thank you to my listeners. Thank you for you guys for tuning in with me on the show. And we're gonna be doing this again sometime. So until next time, oh until next time, y'all take care of yourself and each other. We're gonna let y'all roll out with this track. It's called Sun Up by Jovi. Y'all take care now.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

With Let's Talk About It. Please follow me on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook. Thanks for spending time with me today. Always remember, I can't control life, but I can control how I react to it. Stay sharp, and I'll see you soon.