A Feral Journey

Our favorite "Trash Can Kitty" is back and he has a story to tell.  He has found Kitten and cannot wait to regale her with his adventures.  Kitten may not be as excited as he is to be reunited.  

• If you missed Season 2, Episode 9: The Move Part 4: Are we there yet?  You may want to listen to it first before jumping into this episode.  

Music and SFX courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com
Searching Song Lyrics by Amy Daniels & Christine Rozum and  Music:  Nat Bonham / Connect With Me/ courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com

Transcript

Season 3, Episode 3: A Feral Journey

Down at the coop

Birgita: That was certainly a harrowing ordeal you went through Kitten! I can’t imagine being stuck in a tree, and in the rain!!

Bella : I’m glad you’re alright

BRIDGET: I’m glad the mom person didn’t fall off the ladder either! How scary!

CLUCKY: Yeah if the mom person fell off the ladder, how would we get food?  Xander told me she is the one that buys it from the farm store. 

Kitten: Meow, Clucky always with the food… Well I certainly am lucky things turned out the way they did.

Clucky: So Feral is here… that just boggles my mind!

Kitten: I’m pretty sure I didn’t the dream up the whole thing. He’s supposed to come by again today. 

Clucky: Hoo wee! I’m excited to get a chance to meet the infamous Feral.  I just want to hear his dashing accent.

Feral: Ah, do I hear someone calling my name?

Clucky: BRAUK!!! You startled me! Oooh, Frenchy accent you must be Feral.

Feral: But of course! How many cavalier french cats do you know? We must do introductions.  My apologies I forget everything when I am in the breathtaking presence of the radiant Kitten. 

Kitten: Hi  Feral, It was sure an unexpected surprise to see you last night.   Let me  introduce you to my friends. This here is Clucky.

Clucky: Brauk! Howdy!?

Kitten: And our lovely hens, Bridget, Bella and Bridgeta. 

Bridgeta: Cheerio Feral. 

Bella: Hello! 

BRIDGET: It’s nice to meet you.

Feral: Ah ze pleasure is all mine! Any friend of Kitten is sure to be a character of great respect!

Clucky: Well, I’ll be, I think I like this Feral (SFX: Guitar riff) friend of yours Kitten.

Feral: Ah yes, Kitten, how lovely it is to see mon amour again. I cannot believe after such a journey I have actually found you. My heart is bursting with joy beyond any words I can express.

( Music starts) 

CLUCKY:Oh boy does he sing too? 

F: I was searching, searching for you.

Without you, the sky’s were so blue

CLUCKY:aren’t blue skies a good thing?

F: When you left you took my heart,

Without you I fall apart

K really Feral we don’t know each other that well… 

F: My heart beats for you.. Kitten Kitten 

(Muisc scratch to a hult) 

Kitten: ok, that was nice…

CLUCKY: Oh I was just getting into it.  

Bridget: Me too… Kitten Kitten… (Maybe with a little music) 

KITTEN: .uh huh…. So Feral, how is it that you’re here in Washington and on our mountain?

Feral: I am telling you it must be fate that our worlds collide again. I left shortly after you and your family departed, intent on seeing you once more. I could never have imagined that you would be living up on this strange wildly growing landscape. I miss roaming the city with the concrete and tall buildings and the street lights. It is incredibly dark here at night.

Kitten: Oh yes, we never venture out at night here. It is eerily dark. You can not even see your paw in front of your face.  However, on clear nights I have never seen so many stars in my life. 

Clucky: I like the nights when we have a full moon because it really brightens up the place a bit more. 

Feral: But wis all this rain and clouds it seems dark all ze time. 

Kitten: So how exactly did you get here and where are you living?

Feral: Ah Kitten, it is so heartwarming that you want to know about my adventure here. I know you must be surprised to see me, but do you not realize that it was your heart that brought me here.

Kitten: Um no. That seems rather impossible. So how did you get here?

Feral: Well, mes amis, please sit down, make yourself comfortable and I will regale you with the story of Feral and his journey to WAshington.

Clucky: This sounds exciting!

Feral: The tale starts after you left. My heart was broken mon amour and I longed for you. I have never felt such a strong connection to anyone before. I set out on the road almost immediatement. I followed your car but it was traveling too fast. I remember hearing your family say that it was not far to Washington where your new house would be. So I started traveling down a lonely highway with only ze memory of your beauty to guide me. 

Clucky: How does beauty guide you? That sounds like some sort of super power to me. Feral, are you some sort of super cat?

Feral: Oh Clucky, you flatter me. You obviously have not experienced the power of love before.

Clucky: Not enough to use as a map!! 

Feral: It feels as though an angel must have been helping me because not long after I was traveling down zis big road, a car suddenly pulled over and almost run me over! (car tires screech) It stopped just ahead of me. I was a bit frightened when a young boy got out of ze car. He came towards me with his hands outstretched and said ‘Here Kitty kitty. What are you doing out here on the road? This isn’t safe for you.” I was thinking, no it’s not when there are these lunatic drivers almost running me over!

Bridgeta: Oh my! That does sound frightening! What happened next?

Feral: He asked his mother if they could put me in the car. I was lying there, frightened not knowing what to do. But then I saw that there was a furry head peeking out from the car. I thought these people must like animals and be kind and then I thought Oh la la! Perhaps this is a better way to journey to see my kitten! 

Kitten: Oh Feral, you should never get into cars with strangers! 

Feral: Oh Kitten, you fear for my safety? Your care for me makes my heart go pitter patter. But do not fear, these people were kind. They put me in the car where I met their large dog - very fluffy black and white thing. It seemed to lose fur like crazy. There was fur everywhere, you would think he would eventually run out but he just had so much.  I am cautious  around strange  dogs, some that you meet on the street can be most aggressive  but this one seemed friendly enough. He gave a bark and howl of greeting.   The little boy kept me in his lap and we started to drive. 

Clucky: Weren’t you afraid of where you might end up? How did you know where they were going?

Feral: Zat is an excellent question. I did not sink of these things when I was carried into the car. I was just happy to not be running on the stones and dirt on the side of the road. My paws were getting very tired and it was so hot on the cement.  I thought, I could just ride a while and rest my paws.  Then to my amazement, I heard one of the other children asking how much longer it would be to get to Washington so I knew I was going in the right direction. Fate was smiling down at me! 

BRIDGET: Feral you’re very lucky! 

Feral: Ah, but this car seemed too good to be true and soon I discovered that this family was a little bit… what is the word? Unbalanced! 

Clucky: Unbalanced? How? Did they fall over a lot? 

Feral: No, no one fell over, we were all sitting in a car

CLUCKY: Oh right. 

FERAL: They really loved music.  All of them were singing along including the giant fur factory seemed to know all the songs and sing along.  His version was very howly and out of tune.   Then all of a sudden, one of the children shouted “its’ Furnado time”. I was very curious. I had not heard this term before. I did not know what to expect.

Kitten: That sounds very ominous Feral. 

Clucky: Obvious? There’s nothing obvious about this Furnado Kitten.

Kitten: Not obvious Clucky, OMINOUS - it means there’s a feeling that something bad or unpleasant is going to happen.

Bella:  It certainly does sound scary! 

Clucky: So it sounds obviously ominous! See what I did there? 

Feral: Oh yes I do, obviously ominous very clever! It was one of the ze most frightening moments of my life. Suddenly I could feel wind rushing into the car, they had lowered all of ze windows in ze car creating a strong vortex of wind swirling around and around and in zis wind was also a large amount of white fur flying through the air! I sought I would get sucked out of the car and my fur was blowing all over ze place. I sought for sure that one of my lives was definitely over! 

Kitten: Oh! It sounds like a tornado! 

Clucky: Kitten this is no time to be talking about food! This sounds nothing like a tomato! 

Kitten: A Tornado Clucky.

Clucky: What’s a tornado?

Kitten: It's a weather phenomenon that usually happens in the midwest. According to the National Weather Service, A tornado is a violently rotating column of air extending from the base of a thunderstorm down to the ground. Tornadoes are capable of completely destroying well-made structures, uprooting trees, and hurling objects through the air like deadly missiles. (SFX:Blaster) Tornadoes can occur at any time of day or night and at any time of the year. In fact there’s a section called Tornado Alley that runs through the middle of the country, through several states. 

Clucky: Do these things come out of nowhere?

Kitten: They’re usually associated with thunderstorms. 

Bridgeta: We had thunderstorms in Florida, but we never had these tomato thingies.

Kitten: Tornados. Actually there are tornados in Florida as well as hurricanes. Sometimes, a hurricane can cause tornados occur right after the hurricane passes.   There can also be tornados made with water. They’re called water spouts that can develop over water. They usually disappear once they hit land though. And with global warming, more places are getting tornados that didn’t get them before. 

Clucky: Can we get these tornados here in Washington? 

Kitten: Well, luckily it is less common here in Washington. This area is not known to get many thunderstorms, so the likelihood of a tornado is pretty small. Also, with all the mountains and the trees, the winds cannot usually create the conditions right to form a tornado.  It is better to have flat open spaces in states like Kansas, Minnesota and Iowa.  

Feral: Kitten - you are a treasure trove of knowledge. You are not only beautiful but also tres intelligent! I am humbled by what an amazing feline you are.

Kitten: Oh Feral, you’re embarrassing me. I just like to read, and Maddox and I do it a lot. It’s so fascinating to read new things. 

Clucky: So did you get sucked into that tomay…I mean Tornado?

Feral: No, the young boy held on to me very tightly but I feared for my life. The people in ze car were just laughing and shouting “Furnado! Furnado! This is so much fun!” 

BELLA:  Why were they yelling Furnado?

FERAL: Oh zat is because of their giant furry dog.  His hair seemed to be everywhere.  And when they opened the windows, the wind seemed to gather it all up and swirl it around za car. I could not wait to get out of zis car. Zey finally closed all ze windows and the wind stopped swirling but I must have looked like a disheveled cat. I saw my reflection in a mirror in ze car and my fur was all over ze place. I spent some time trying to make myself presentable again. I am certain I got a hairball because of zis nonsense. 

Kitten: How long did you ride with this family? 

Feral: It felt like an eternity. I traveled across the country from my native Montreal, and it did not feel as long as zis car ride with this strange family.

Clucky: You’re from where? Mon-real?

Feral: Montreal, it is a city in Canada. It’s in the French speaking part of Canada. 

Kitten: You’re Canadian? 

Feral: Well, i don’t have a passport, but I was born there, so I guess, yes, I am Canadian. True North, strong and free…. And poutine is fantastic.

Clucky: What’s Putin?

Feral: It’s poutine. It is a famous dish in Canada. It is french fries, rich gravy and cheese curds. Especially the gravy is so tasty. 

CLUCKY: You had me at french fries.

Feral: When I was in Canada, I would rarely find traces of it in the dumpsters but when I did, ohhhhh, it was magnifique. I’ve tried to recreate it here, but ze Americans don’t use cheese curds that often and the gravy is not quite the same. But I digress

Clucky: Oh excuse you. 

Feral: Excuse moi?

Clucky: I thought you burped because you said “I digest”.

Kitten: No, he said digress… it means he’s gotten off topic.

CLUCKY: I digress all the time!

Feral: Kitten, you and I…. you see this growing connection and how we just understand each other? Non? Soon we’ll be finishing each other’s sentences.

Kitten: No Feral, we just have good vocabulary but that’s hardly finishing each other’s

Feral: SENTENCES!!

Kitten: Meow 

Feral: Alright but I must continue before it gets dark…. Now where was I? 

BRIDGET: You had just survived the furnato…

Feral: Ah yes, I made my escape from the freaky furnado family at the next town they stopped. After zat I wandered on my own for a while. I would rest my weary paws from time to time and find food in dumpsters along ze way. I cannot remember how long I was traveling on my own like zis wis only my longing to find my Kitten to motivate me to carry on. 

(Music Starts again) I was searching, searchig for you….

(record scratch)

KITTEN: Oh no! We are not doing that again.  

(Protests from Clucky and the hens… Oh Man, He’s a good singer.  Songs are fun) 

Feral: You wound me Kitten. (Sigh) Back to my journey, finalement, I happened to discover a trainyard. 

Clucky: A trainyard?? What were you doing in a trainyard?

BELLA: What is a trainyard?  

FERAL:  Sacre bleu! You do not know what a trainyard is? 

BELLA: I know what a train is but I’ve never heard of a trainyard.

FERAL: A trainyard is where the people store train cars that are waiting to be assembled into trains.  There are lots of different tracks that can and one must step very carefully because so many things are moving.  

BELLA: Thank you for explaining that.  Where you scared to be there?

Feral: Pas de probleme! No not at all. I traveled by train from Montreal for a good portion of the time. It is quite a nice way to travel. There is something very comforting about ze rhythm of the tracks. Cachunk cachunk, cachunk cachunk. It reminds me of the strong beating of a heart and of course my affection for Kitten. 

Clucky:  I’ve never been on a train before. That sounds so exciting! What kind of trains did you find?

Feral: This was a freight train yard. Those are the big boxy cars designed to carry all zorts of things.   I have also been on passenger rail, which is made up of cars with seats and beds for people,  but for a cat out on adventure, there is something so much more romantic about a freight train. Looking out over the quiet evenings with only the rhythmic sound of the train and the moonlight shining down over you, yes it is quite romantic indeed. Oh Kitten, the nights I dreamed about our next encounter! 

BRIGITA: How Romantic! (Sigh)

Clucky: (Clears throat) How long were you on the train for? It already sounds like you’ve been traveling for a really long time.

Kitten: Clucky has a point Feral. How long had you been traveling when you got to the train?

Feral: I do not know, but I had a bit of problem.

Kitten: Problem? What kind of problem?

BRIDGET: Oh I don’t like the sound of problems!

Brigita: I don’t like the sound of the train or the problems!

Bella: I don’t like the whole idea of unknown adventure!

Feral: I got on a train, but it seemed to be traveling the wrong direction and it took me some time before I figured out I was heading to California.

Clucky: Californie!!! That’s two states away in the wrong direction!

Feral: It was a few days before I realized my erreur and got on a different train. I must have been on ze “down” train because I found a beautiful yellow train called “UP” that went the right way. Up north is the direction I should have been traveling.

Kitten: That must have been the Union Pacific Train. 

Feral: Oh Kitten, is there anysing you do not know? Incredible cat that you are. 

Kitten: I think I remember seeing one of those yellow trains when the mom person was driving us down to the vet one time. I saw it in town near the paper mill. 

Clucky:  I’m confused. If I remember right, we weren’t that far from Washington when we were at the motel where you met Kitten. We drove the next day and in a few hours we arrived at the house. Why has it taken you so long Feral? 

Feral: Ah, yes, but you went by car and your people knew the way.  I traveled by cat…with only my heart to guide me…it is less direct and takes a bit  longer.   I also don’t read directions well you ended up in places that may be furzer than you had planned. Traveling by cat is much more unpredictable. But zere is still more to my story!

Clucky: There’s more? This is an epic journey. So, what happened after the train fiasco?

Feral: The UP train was much better! I was in a…. Box car. 

KITTEN: Oh was it full of children? 

FERAL: No, why do you ask? 

KITTEN: There is a wonderful book series called Boxcar children I was hoping it might be based on a true story. 

FERAL: No there were no children.

Clucky: Was the car shaped like a box?

Feral: Not exactement. It is a type of train car. There are several kinds. I traveled in ze auto car for a little while where zey transport cars. But zis car has holes in the walls so it got a bit chilly so I moved to a different car. There are also grain cars - I sink I heard some train people also call zem hopper cars. Strange, they don’t hop. The uzer problem I had with the other train was my foot slipped on a lever as I was traveling from train to train and I discovered that I had opened a door in ze bottom of the hopper car and the grain started to empty out onto the tracks.

Kitten: You started draining a hopper car? 

Feral: Oui,  It would appear so. It was an accident. I quickly ran to anozer car, running on top of ze train going by several tank cars. 

Clucky: Was it a military train?

Feral: No. 

Clucky: But you said it had tank cars. Aren’t tanks found in the military?

Kitten: Not that kind of tank Clucky. Storage tanks. These types of round cars carry liquids like oil. 

Clucky: That sounds like a lot of liquid to be transported around.

Kitten: Trains are an important mode of transport for freight. There are many other specialty cars to carry goods and raw materials. There’s a lot of timber cars in our state. 

BRIGITA: Timber?

KITTEN: Yes, large trees that have been cut down. 

Feral: Yes, the smell of fresh cut timber was quite nice. I enjoyed sitting on those cars for part of my journey. But, after the grain car incident the train stopped and that’s when I realized I was in California so perhaps it was a good accident after all. If I had not made this mistake, it would have taken me even longer to get here. On the next train, I had a fun surprise. I found myself in a box car and I was looking at the freight. Lots of boxes stacked on top of each other and all listed as “cat toys”. I sliced open a box and inside I found hundreds of cat balls and stuffed mice. I batted these toys around for a long time to occupy my time while on the train. 

Clucky: So when did you know to get off the train? 

Feral: At the next train yard, I was out exploring and waiting for the train to leave when a man picked me up. I was afraid I was in for some more furnado but he put me in a box, gave me a nice can of fish and the next thing I knew I was in what they call a pound.

Clucky: Hey Kitten, you were in a pound too, right before Maddox adopted you! You and Feral do have lots in common.

Kitten: Hardly Clucky. I mean, being in a pound is not really all that unique. There are lots of animals in shelters and they arrive there in different ways.

Bridgeta: Kitten - how did you end up in that shelter? You just heard about how we came to the Daniels family and we know you were adopted, but how did you end up at the shelter. Feral was taken there by a strange man in a train yard. Were you ever in a train yard?

Kitten: No, I was lost in a swamp but that is a story for another time.   Let’s hear the rest of Feral’s story before it gets dark.  He needs to get home.  So Feral, the shelter?

Feral: Oh mon cheri, I am so sad to hear that you have suffered in those barbaric cages at the shelter. I would never wish that on my worst enemy let alone my greatest love.

Kitten: It was cold and loud but I have put it behind me.

Feral: Such a brave Kitten! I don’t know how long I was there for. I started to scratch a mark on each day on the wall of my cage, but zen they moved me from one cage to anozer and I lost track of my days. Ze only good thing was that I was being fed but after having the freedom that I did for so long zis captivity was frustrating. But zere was one day that a young woman came to the shelter and she spent a long time talking to me, and stroking me and all of a sudden, I was being packed into a portable cage. She took me outside and strapped my carrier on the back of a motorcycle! I could feel the wind in my face and enjoy the fresh air again. It was a lot of wind but nothing like the furnato. She brought me to her home which is not zat far from here. I live in her barn and I sink she wants me to catch rodents. I don’t like rodents. They are disgusting creatures so i chase them away and hope that is good enough. 

Kitten: So you live there? Don’t you miss the great adventures and the freedom that you had?

Feral: Oh Kitten, the plan was to stay only for a short time and then move on to find you. But here you are, You have come to me! 

Kitten: Oh, well I wouldn’t say it that way.

There is a sudden beeping noise.

Clucky: What’s that sound? Feral it sounds like it’s coming from you.

Feral: It is zis maddening box around my neck. 

Kitten: Oh, is that a GPS tracker?

Feral: I don’t know what it is but every time I sink about running away or hiding somewhere, it starts beeping and then the woman comes and finds me EVERY TIME!! I don’t know how she does it. I have tried to take it off, but it is impossible. She comes and finds me and brings me back to the barn. . My freedom is completely lost forever, but now that I have found you Kitten, I no longer need to be free. Our hearts can be joined as one. We shall roam the mountain together, make beautiful music while we bask in the moonlight and whisper sweet nothings to each other. It is perfect no?

Kitten: Meowl, I don’t like going out at night. it’s far too dark and there are far too many predators.

Clucky: She’s right Feral. You shouldn’t be out at night at all. 

BRIGITA:  There are cougars and coyotes.

Bella: And bears!

Bridget: And birds of prey like Eagles! 

Clucky: Don’t forget those Bill cats. 

Kitten: Bobcats.

Clucky: Do they prefer to go by Bob? 

Kitten: No, they’re just called bobcats, not billcats. 

Clucky: Maybe they’d like to be called Ted or Kevin? Why do they all share the same name? I think their friends and families would find that confusin’. 

Kitten: Oh Clucky.

(The GPS collar starts beeping again.)

Feral: This collar needs to go. I need to be able to see you when my heart desires Kitten. I should go now before she comes to find me. It would be far too embarrassing for her to pick me up and carry me away from you. Kitten, we are togezzer now. I feel my heart beating in rhythm to yours. I shall come and visit you again very soon! Perhaps on a day when it is not raining? 

Clucky: Feral, you probably haven’t been here that long, because lately, it’s never not raining these days!

Feral: Perhaps you are right? What is a little bit of water when I can see mon cheri. 

Kitten: it’s been nice seeing you again Feral, but I don’t love being out in the rain. I guess I’ll see you around if you’re living up here.

Feral: Count on it, mon petit bijou. I will see you again soon! A bientot. And au revoir new poulet friends. 

Feral scampers away.

Clucky: What is a poo lay?

Kitten: I’m not sure. I don’t speak French or Feral. I wonder how often he’ll come by.

Bridgeta: That cat is definitely smitten with you Kitten! Oh.. that rhymed!!!

BRIDGET: He’s quite a character!

Bella: He's weird.

Kitten: I agree. Looks like a dark rain cloud is coming back in again. I should head back to the house. 

Clucky: Be careful Kitten! Don’t go chasing chipmunks and getting yourself stuck again.

Kitten: Thanks Clucky. I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t be chasing them again any time soon. I’ll have to figure out another way to get to know them. See you again soon. 

End Credits: 

What are you bauking about?

KITTEN:Oh we have something new today!  This fun fact come from Ella from Washington.  She sent us a note on our website kittenandclucky.com

CLUCKY:We have a website?

KITTEN:Of course we have a website.  We have an email too.  

CLUCKY:We do?  What is it?

KITTEN:It is kittenandclucky@gmail.com

CLUCKY:Wow!  And anyone can email us or send us notes on the webpage?  

KITTEN: Yep! Anyone anytime. 

CLUCKY:That is so cool!  What did Ella from Washington have to say?  

KITTEN:She said that: Chickens have great memories and can recognize over 100 faces! They can also recognize different animals such as dogs and cats.  Is that true Clucky?  

CLUCKY:Of course it is true!  I always know who you are when you come to visit as well as the beasts.  

KITTEN:True.  Oh come on, I thought you had finally started calling them dogs and not beasts.  

CLUCKY:Sorry, some habits are hard to break.  Thank you Ella for sharing your fun fact!