Fluffy White Blanket of Doom

It is finally arrived! The fluffy white blanket of doom!  Is it as bad as they have feared?  Will they survive?  Tune in to find out. 

Transcript

S3 E5

Fluffy White Blanket of Doom

SFX: Whirring noise as coop opens.

CLUCKY:Oh my,  it has happened. Look out there it’s just like Xander said a fluffy white blanket of doom. (SFX: Timpani) 

BELLA:  it has covered everything.

BRIDGET: I wonder if it is safe to leave the coop.

BRIGITA: I must say it does give the world a soft, cushy quality. It looks rather pretty don’t you think? 

CLUCKY: It’s so quiet and so still. 

BELLA:  Are you sure it is dangerous? It almost sparkles.

BRIDGET: Why have we been afraid of something so pretty? It’s just looks like a big fluffy blanket has been draped over everything.  

BRIGITA:  Yes, it has rounded off all the hard edges of the branches.  Oh look over there, the big old stump over there appears to be wearing a toque!  

BELLA:   Oh yeah the beanie hat thing!  And the big pine tree branches are dropping lower now that they are covered in snow. It looks like they have put on a fancy dress for a party.  

CLUCKY: I think I understand the song Walking in a Winter Wonderland.  We have lived here half a year and I have never seen the yard and woods look like this. It's magical.  

BRIDGET:  Those branches on the tree that lost its leaves look like they have been painted white with a thin layer of snow that has collected.  

CLUCKY: Yeah and over there, that trees’ branches are bent so low they are touching the ground.  I wonder if the snow is heavy.  

BRIGITA:  It must be!  Look up there.  A big pine tree has lost a few branches!  They have just snapped off.  

BELLA:  Come on lets go out in it!

CLUCKY: Hold on, I’m not sure that is a good idea.  It could be like a siren from one of Kitten’s books.  

BRIDGET: Sirens are beings from mythology whose song lured sailors to their doom. How is this fluffy white blanket of snow like that?

CLUCKY: It is totally like that.  Look at it out there, all beautiful, white and soft looking, practically calling us to venture out of our coop.  There are signs of danger too.  Look at those broken branches. We had better stay put.  There could be unknown dangers hidden under the fluff.  

BRIGITA:  Do you really think so?  (SFX: Sledding sound)  What’s that sound? 

XANDER:   Whoo Hoo!  That was awesome!  Cock-a-doodle do!  Get up you lazy birds!  How can you sleep in on such an epic day?  It finally snowed!!! 

(Lots of Bawking)

CLUCKY: Xander!  Well he is standing in it so it must be safe.  

BELLA:   Yay we can go out now!

BRIDGET:  The voice of reason has arrived.  

BRIGITA:  I can’t wait to touch it.  

CLUCKY:  Now wait just a minute ladies, maybe I should go first.  After all Xander is covered in lots of gear and had to ride a funny cart thingy on rails down here.  Maybe it is not that safe. 

BRIGITA:  I say he is wearing big boots, baggy overalls and a coat.  What are those things over his eyes and something on his head?  

BRIDGET:  We have seen him wear boots before and even a coat from time to time.  

BELLA:  True but the coat is not very often.  Oh my he even has on gloves.  Maybe it is dangerous.  (Bawk!) 

XANDER:   What are you all waiting for?  It’s the best day!  Don’t you want to try out the snow? Clucky, I thought you’d be leading the charge.  

CLUCKY: Bawk!  Wish me luck ladies..

HENS:  Good luck

CLUCKY:  I’m stepping on the first rung of the ladder,  it is covered in snow.  My foot had just slid right though.  It seems to flatten under my step.  

BELLA:   How does it feel? 

BRIDGET: Does it hurt?  

CLUCKY: No, it just feels cold and a little wet. My claw just kinda sinks in.  Ok, next step.  

XANDER:   Come on Clucky move your tail feathers!  You are wasting prime snow time! 

CLUCKY:  Oh I don’t like being rushed… I’m just going to jump for it.  (Flapping)  BAWK!  Oh my!  I’m stuck!  I jumped and my claws have sunk all the way to my feathers.  OH this is a deep blanket.  

XANDER:  (Laughing)  Are you stuck?  We did get quite a bit of snow. I think like 6 inches.  Are your claws able to reach the ground.  

CLUCKY: Bawk Bawk!  Help! It’s got me in its clutches.  Beware the siren snow!  

HENS: (Oh Clucky,  Flap your wings,  Show that snow who’s boss!) 

XANDER:   (Chuckling) Calm down Clucky, you are ok. I guess I should not have rushed you.  You just jumped in a deep part of the snow.  Just a second, I’ll open the cage and help you out.  (Cage open) Steps in snow.)

 CLUCKY: Brauk Brauk Help Help I'm stuck in this fluffy cold stuff! I can’t move! Help Help I'm moving my legs but im getting nowhere 

XANDER:  Stop your flapping so I can pick you up. It's ok we'll get you out of there. Ive got ya. I'm going to set you down on this patch of snow that I've stomped down with my boots. You should be able to walk here 

BELLA:  It’s ok, Xanders picking you up

BRIGITA: Xanders got you Clucky, don’t be afraid 

BRIDGET: I am not going out in that. I am going to stay right here in the cozy coop, No white fluffy blanket of doom for me 

CLUCKY: oof, I landed on my tail feathers. Careful ladies it's slick out here. 

XANDER:  Come on hens aren't you going to come out with us 

BRIDGET: I stated my case I am not going out 

BELLA:  It seems like a bad idea 

BRIGITA: I will not go out there unless I am forced to 

XANDER:  You're not coming! Suit yourselves. You can watch us have all the fun. Maybe it's for the best, I only have one extra helmet 

CLUCKY: Braaauk?! Helmet?!?!

XANDER:  ok Clucky let’s see if this fits. I borrowed a helmet from Maddox’s rollerblading barbie. Sorry its pink and purple. Maybe we can paint it if she lets us keep it! 

CLUCKY: Brauk 

XANDER:  It fits great! I'm going to put you on the sled now (Walking noises) 

CLUCKY: Oh this is nice. We’re going up the hill ok I'm off the snow. Oh I can see so much from here! I'm just sliding along (CLUNK) What was that!? Oh a big chunk of snow fell off those branches. I hope we don't get hit with one of those 

XANDER:  *panting slightly* almost there Clucky we’re almost to the top.Whew we made it. Ok I’m gonna rest for a minute 

CLUCKY: Oh wow we’re really high up here, with quite a view.  I can see all the way down to the coop.  It looks so small from way up here.  Wow!  Look at the trees.  I have to admit they do look really pretty covered in the snow.  It's almost like someone sprinkled powdered sugar over everything… yum powdered sugar… Now I’m hungry… 

XANDER:  Enjoying the view clucky?  Just wait till you see it at warp speed!  Just let me get this sled turned around.  

CLUCKY:  Bawk, What?  Wait what do you mean warp speed.  

XANDER:   Ok, Clucky.  Helmet secure?  Check, I’m putting my goggles down.  Sorry, I could not find any for you.  

CLUCKY:  Bawk! Do I need eye protection?  Why?

XANDER:   Don’t worry, your eyes are on the side of your head, I’m sure goggles are unnecessary for you.  Alright.  Ready… 

CLUCKY:  Probably Not

XANDER:  Aim…

CLUCKY:  Are you Aiming the sled?

XANDER:   Fire!!!  Here we go! 

CLUCKY: (Screaming)  What is happening!  Awwe!  So fast! It’s like we are a peregrin falcon in a dive!  AHHHH!  Oh no!  We are going so fast!  Maybe I should spread my wings to slow us down!  (Whosh) AHHH! I’m flying! Bye Xander!

XANDER:  Clucky, oh no! You just flew off!

CLUCKY:  Oh boy!  No more wind.  I’m falling ( flapping) oof!  Well that was not very graceful.  At least there was all this soft snow to land in.  

XANDER:  (Footsteps in the snow) Clucky are you ok?  You just flew off the sled.  Good thing you had all the snow to land in.  Ready to go again?  We only made it half way down.  

CLUCKY: Bawk! Half way

XANDER:  Come on, you can do it!  This next time keep you wings tucked in tight so the wind does not launch you off the sled.  

CLUCKY:  Next time?  Bawk!

XANDER:   Whew!  Well at least I did not have to walk all the way back up.  Alright, Tuck in your wings. I can feel it, its going to be a good run.  Ready

CLUCKY: Nope

XANDER:  Aim

CLUCKY: Bawk

XANDER:  Blast off!  

CLUCKY:  BRAAAAAAAAWWWWWKKK!!

XANDER:   Ha ha ha!  Isn’t it amazing Clucky!  We are going so fast!  

CLUCKY:  I’m seeing my whole life flash before meeeeee!  

XANDER:   We made it!  It’s nice how it just slows down at the end right buddy?  

CLUCKY:  I’m alive!  Wow!  We didn’t crash into a tree.  

XANDER:   You look a little wobbly.  Are you ok?  Were you afraid we were going to hit a tree?  

CLUCKY: Bawk!  No, I knew we would be fine.  

BRIGITA: Are you ok Clucky?  

BELLA:   It looked like you were going really fast. Was it scary? 

BRIDGET:  Of course it was, didn’t you hear him screaming the whole way down? 

CLUCKY: Well now… yes, yes I did. And it was scary but it was also so much fun!  I want to do it again!  It was a rush… well of course everything was rushing by me… maybe that is why they call it a rush.   Bawk Bawk! 

XANDER:   You look a little better Clucky.  Are you telling the hens how much fun that was?  Ladies, do you want to try?  

HENS: No, Nope, No thank you.

XANDER:  I see, you’d rather watch from the coop?  

CLUCKY:  You ladies are missing out!  I can’t wait to go again!

BRIDGET: You sure changed your tune quickly.  

CLUCKY: Of course, I’m alive!  New things can be scary at first but most of the time, if you give them a try, you will find out they are not that bad.  They may even be fun!  The first ride was pretty scary, especially cause i went flying off.  

BELLA:   Oh No!  Were you hurt at all?

CLUCKY: Not one bit. I landed in the soft fluffy snow.  Then Xander and I figured out that I needed to keep my wings tucked in.  Then it was like I was in a dive like the mighty peregrine falcon.  You know they can reach speeds of over 200 miles per hour when they dive for prey.  I’ve always admired those birds.  Well going down on the sled, after I realized I’d live, I imagined I was a falcon diving down the mountain!  By golly, I can’t wait to do it again.  

BRIGITA:  Maybe I will give it a try.  You make it sound most brilliant.  

(Music Transition) 

KITTEN:  Meow!  Will you look at that?  It’s all white out there.  Rubix do you see?  I bet if you went out there right now, we could not see you at all. You would blend in with all the snow.  

RUBIX:  Quick open my cage door and we will see.  Tell me if you can find me.  

KITTEN:  Nice try Rubix.

RUBIX: Oh come on Kitten, what could it hurt? 

(Bedroom door opens) 

MADDOX:  Kitten are you awake?  Did you see all the snow?  Oh it’s so exciting.  I came down here to grab my hat and gloves and to see if you wanted to venture out with me.  

KITTEN: Meow!  

MADDOX:  You do?  Great! Come on, lets go! Oh Rubix, you are up.  Do you want to come out and explore too?

RUBIX: Squeak! Escape opportunities abound! 

MADDOX: Let me grab your ball, You can climb in there.  

RUBIX:  Blasted ball.  No, I will think of it as my gateway to freedom. (SFX: Scrabbling) 

KITTEN: Meow, are you sure that’s a good idea?

RUBIX: Don’t interfere Kitten

MADDOX: Oh Kitten, you are worried.  Don’t worry, she is secure in her ball. (SFX: click shut) I’ll bring Rubix in if she looks like she is too cold.  

KITTEN: Meow, I’m watching you Rubix.

RUBIX: Squeak Squeak Squeak (I’m watching you) 

MADDOX: Let's go, Xander already took the sled down to the chickens.  Maybe we can catch up with them.  

(Music Transition) 

MADDOX: Kitten, Want to hop on the sled?  I can pull you over to the top of the sled hill.  It's much faster to take a sled down to the chickens than walk through all the snow.  We must have like 6 inches!  

KITTEN: I’m not sure.  

MADDOX: Here let me set you on.  Don’t worry, I’ll pull it slowly till you get used to it! 

ROSIE: Bark Bark Bark!  Hi Kitten!  It’s all this snow great?  Have you tried to bite it?  It melts in your mouth.  It’s like water you can eat!  

MADDOX: Good morning, Rosie, We are headed down to see the chickens.  It seems like you are enjoying the snow.  (Giggles)  Oh My! It’s so deep you are having to jump to get through it.  

ROSIE:  Bark Bark!  Oh Yes, It’s so fun!  She is right, it is hard to walk in.  Jumping is working for me.  

JACKITTEN:  RUFF Ruff!  Who goes there?

MADDOX: Oh Jack you made it out.  It’s ok, Kitten, he cannot get out of the fenced yard.  

JACKITTEN:  Ruff Ruff Ruff!  Invaders!!

MADDOX:  Jack stop your barking it’s just me. 

JACKITTEN: Huh?  Who? 

ROSIE: Bark, It’s Maddox.  Stop your barking Jack.  

JACK: Oh ok hrump.  Back inside to my nice warm bed. 

ROSIE:  Oy!  

MADDOX:  Bye Jack and Rosie, We are off. 

ROSIE:  Oh I wish I could come!  Have fun! 

KITTEN:  See you soon Rosie.  Meow, the sled is moving. 

(Snow crunching and sledding SFX) 

MADDOX:  We made it Rubix and Kitten.  Wow the hill down look pretty steep. You can see Xander has made a path already.  Rubix, I’m going to set you down in the snow for a minute while I position the sled.  (SFX)

RUBIX: Ha ha!  Oh, the ball won’t move… ugh, it is stuck in this deep snow… push… push.  Oh come on.  There is a path to freedom right in front of me I just need to get this ball moving.  (SFX) Oh it budged.  Oh a little more… almost… yes, I’m moving.  Yes, a little more  now I’m really starting to move.. Oh maybe too much.  Oh this hill is steep oh no, I’m losing control…

KITTEN:  Meow, Rubix is getting away!  

MADDOX: What is it Kitten? Oh No, Rubix your ball is rolling down the hill.  Hold on Kitten, we need to rescue her. 

KITTEN: Wait what?  Hold on to what?  

RUBIX:  AHHH! I’m losing control…. Ah ooh… ouch.  Slow it down, I’m going to be sick.  This ball is out of control… 

MADDOX:  Stop Rubix we are coming!  

KITTEN: Meow, I can wait up here….. Aahhhh… This is really fast… MEOOOOOWWWW

MADDOX: Sorry, Kitten, Normally sledding is fun but we need to rescue Rubix! Hold on we are gaining on her.

RUBIX:  Make it stop… I’m rolling out of control…

XANDER: Got ya!  

RUBIX:  I think I’m going to be sick… ooohh….

XANDER: Maddox, I have your hamster…. She does not look so good.

(Sled Noise) (Hops off and walks over) 

MADDOX: Oh Rubix, I had no idea you would start rolling down the hill! I thought I had stuffed your ball pretty well in the snow.  You poor baby.  

RUBIX:  ooh… come on self… pull it together… you're just a little dizzy… must escape… (Flop SFX)

MADDOX:  Oh Rubix, I had better take you back up now.  You are swaying on your paws.  

RUBIX: I’m fine…

KITTEN: I’m not fine!  That ride down to get you was terrifying.  I was so scared I could not even meow!  

MADDOX: Oh Kitten you are shaking.  Did the sled ride down scare you?  I’m so sorry, I had not planned on just jumping on like that but we had to get Rubix.  

KITTEN: I am getting off this sled.  What does that stand for anyway Sled?  Speeding lethal evil deathtrap? 

CLUCKY:  Kitten!  Wasn’t the sled ride amazing?!  

KITTEN: Amazingly horrific!  I saw my whole life flash before me.  I was so scared I could not even scream.  

CLUCKY:  Oh my first time down, I screamed and flew off when my wings caught air.  

KITTEN: First time?!  You mean you did it more than once?  

CLUCKY: Yeah, it was thrilling… well after it was over and I realized we were not going to crash into a tree and die.  

KITTEN: Well I’m getting off this thing and never getting back on!  

CLUCKY: You might want to…

KITTEN: (Hop) Meow!!! What?!  Oh meow, I’m stuck.  I can’t move.  This is awful!

CLUCKY: I was trying to tell you, you can’t just jump off.  I did that too.  The snow is so deep, your paws probably don’t reach the ground.  

KITTEN: Meow! 

MADDOX: Oh Kitten, did you jump off the sled? (Giggle)  It looks like you are stuck.  Here, let me help you.  

KITTEN: Meow

MADDOX: I’m going to place you back on the sled and I’ll pull you back up.  

KITTEN: Meow…

MADDOX:  Don’t worry it will be a slow walk back up.  I’ll get you and Rubix settled back in my room before I head back out.  I think you have had enough sledding for one day.  

KITTEN: Meow.  

CLUCKY:  Bye Kitten. I hope to see you soon.  Please consider giving the Sled another chance.  The hens and I would like to see you before the snow melts.  

End Credits

Bawking about?  

We asked for Resolutions.  

CLUCKY:What's the Resolution?  Are we revolting?  Charge!  

KITTEN:  Whoa Whoa Whoa Clucky settle down.  Its not a Revolution its a Resolution! 

CLUCKY:Oh there is a difference?  

KITTEN:  Yes a Resolution is a choice or a decision. Many people make those at the start of a new year to make and develop better habits or try something new.  A Revolution is fighting against the powers of the day because you feel oppressed, like the American Revolution, when the Americans fought against the British to gain the right to govern themselves and not be ruled by the British.  

CLUCKY: Oh, that’s a big difference.  I’m glad we don’t have to go to battle!  

KITTEN: Me too! So do you want to hear all the amazing Resolutions that got sent our way?  

CLUCKY:You bet I do! I always love to hear form our listeners!  

KITTEN: Many of our fans sent us comments so you can help me read them.  

CLUCKY:Oh this on is from Aroa, in Portland Oregon!  She has resolved to To explore more and learn more about Oregon and Washington. Oh that’s a great idea! I want to do that too!

KITTEN: Our next one is from Adam in Hilton Head, North Carolina, North Carolina: He says: I resolve to help improve healthcare by participating in the successful growth and development of an amazing company called TrueNorth Medical Physics. Oh My!  That sounds like really important work!  Keep it up Adam! 

CLUCKY: You go Adam!  2024 is going to be amazing! Oh wait, I have one more from our friends over at the Whoopie Chicken Podcast!  That’s a great name for a podcast.  Well it’s not really a Resolution but it’s a great chicken joke!  Can I still share it?  

KITTEN: Of course, we all love a chicken joke! 

CLUCKY:What do chickens grow on? 

KITTEN: I don’t know. What? 

CLUCKY:EGGplants!  Bawk Bawk Bawk!  Oh I wonder what eggplant tastes like.  I need to try it. (Gasp) You don’t really think it is made out of egg do you?  

KITTEN: No Clucky, it is not made out of egg.