AutoMagic Door to Freedom

A door that can open and close itself?  How can this be? Is it magic?  What do the animals think?  Will villains enter the house?  Will Rubix finally escape?  

So many questions.  Listen in to find the answers to all these questions and more! 

Transcript

S3 E6

(Screwdriver noise, snapping noise) 

MADDOX: What are you up to mom? 

MOM: I am installing an automatic door on our slider so the dogs, mainly so Jack can go in and out to the dog yard as much as he likes.  Now that he is so old, he needs to go in and out more.  Also, sometimes, he has a hard time waiting for us to get to the door.  This door will sense him and open for him.  

MADDOX: Wow! I have noticed it's getting really hard for Jack at times.  So, will the door be able to open and close on its own?

MOM: That's the plan. It's almost ready… Just a couple more adjustments (SFX'. Clicking) There that should do it. (sliding noise) 

MADDOX: It works! It opened on its own (sliding noise, and now it is closing. How does it work? 

MOM: See this little box over on the wall by the door. That is a motion sensor. If something moves in front of it. I will send a signal to open the door. Then when the motion is gone it will close the door. 

MADDOX: What if the dogs want to come back in? This sensor won't detect them if they are outside. 

MOM: You are correct. That's why I have another sensor on the outside to let them in. Should we call the dogs and show them? 

MADDOX: Yes! Rosie, Jack! 

MOM: Come on pups. Check out the new door.

ROSIE: Bark Bark! Coming, OH I'm wanted! I'm needed! I'm going to get there as fast as my little legs can carry me. 

JACK: Ugh! Ruff! Huh, Oh man I was having that dream when I was chasing the cat.... I was almost about to catch it when I got called.... Ruff Ruff I'm coming... these old bones don't move as fast as they used to.

ROSIE:  I’m here! I’m here!  What do you need?  Is there a ball that needs to be found or a rope toy that needs to be pulled?

MADDOX:  Oh Rosie, what a good girl.  You got here fast.  You are always so excited to help.  

ROSIE:  Oh yes!  Let me help! 

JACK: (panting)  Ok, I’m here… what’s (pant)  all (pant) the commotion? 

MOM:  Good boy Jack, you made it.  Come look at your new door.  

ROSIE:  I’ll look!  What is it?  It looks just the same.  Does it smell different?  Let me take a sniff.  I’ll just get a little closer.  (Sniff) (SFX: Door sliding)  Bark Bark!  Whaaat?  What was that?  I just sniffed and it opened.  Did you see that Jack?  Huh? Did you see it?

MADDOX:  Good girl Rosie, you already figured out the door.  You just get close to the sensor and it opens for you.  

ROSIE:  Freedom!  Yippee!  Maybe I should run out fast!  

MOM:  Well Rosie figured it out quickly.  Off she goes to the dog yard.  Look now the door is closing (SFX)  Ok Jack, now it's your turn.  Let’s see if you can trigger the door.  

JACK:  Huh?  You do what now?  

MADDOX:  Come on Jack, I’ll walk with you.  Just come a little closer. 

JACK:  What? It’s time to go outside.  Ok, Open the door.  

MADDOX:  Jack, don’t sit down yet. Come a little closer to the door. 

JACK:  Ruff!  The door’s not open.  Why get closer? Ruff

MOM:  Lets go Jack, just a little closer and it will open for you. Come on… That’s a good boy..

JACK:  Ugh!  I’m moving… but …(SFX: door open) Huh?  You didn’t touch the door… and it opened… Ruff!

MADDOX:  That’s right Jack, it opens on its own now.  Come on now walk through with me before it closes.  That’s a good boy.  Look now it is closing.  

ROSIE:  I’m back!  (pant) I did 3 laps around the dog yard!  Did you just make it out Jack?  Isn’t it so cool!  We can come out now whenever we want!  Bark Bark! I wonder if I can go back in!  Run! (SFX: Bang) Ow!  (SFX: Door Sliding open)

MADDOX: Oh Rosie!  Are you ok?  You just crashed into the door!  I think you need to go a little slower.  Wait for the door to open.  

ROSIE:  (Shakes head) Brrrw!  I’m ok!  Oh now it’s open.  Do you think you have to whack it to get back in?  Next time I won’t use my head.  

MOM:  Rosie, are you ok?  That was quite the bonk.  Just slow down a bit and it will sense you.  Come on lets go back out and try it again.  I’ll give you a treat.

ROSIE:  Treat! You said the magic word, I’ll follow you anywhere.  Oh! Let me get the door.  

MOM:  Good Girl Rosie, you opened the door!  Here is your treat!

JACK:  Ruff! Treat?!  I want a treat!

MOM:  Oh Jack do you want a treat too?  Go back into your bed and I’ll give you a treat.  

JACK:  Ruff! Yes to my bed, I get a treat!  I’m going!  (SFX)  Would you look at that the door opened.  Something strange is going on.  Oh well to my bed it’s treat time.  

MADDOX:  Such good doggies, you already figured it out!  

(Music transition)

FERAL: (In the tune of La Vie en Rose) Kitten where are you? I’m looking for ma chere, you darling little cat. Are you home today mon amour, I’m looking for you everywhere… Kitten? Are you there? Hrm, perhaps I check around the back of the house - oh perhaps up on this deck?

Kitten?

Door open automatically

FERAL : Oh la la what is zis? It is a magical door? Of course my kitten would live in such a magical palace. Hello? Bonjour? Is anyone home? I will venture inside perhaps?

ROSIE: ( Whispering) Oh no! Who are you? How did you get in?  Oh did the door open for you?

FERAL: I am desolee, I’m looking for Kitten.

ROSIE: Dezzo what? What kind of name is that? Do I hear and accent? Where are you from? 

FERAL: No no, desloee. It is french for sorry. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Feral. I do not mean to intrude, but the magical door just opened when i got close. 

ROSIE: Yes, it’s meant for Jack and I so we can go in and out on our own. Poor old guy, when you need to go, you need to go. 

FERAL: Who is Jack?

ROSIE: He’s that big dog that is currently sleeping over there. He doesn’t like cats. You should be really quiet

FERAL: I am only looking for Kitten. She is mon amour.

ROSIE: I don’t know what that means, but if you’re a friend of Kitten, you’ll find her downstairs. Just go quietly down those stairs over there and you should find her..

FERAL: You are so helpful. I appreciate you very much. A bientot

ROSIE: - Bento? Like a japanese meal box?

FERAL: No, mon ami, it means see you soon.

ROSIE: You could just say see you soon then.

FERAL: You are right of course, but sometimes it is just easier to speak french for me

ROSIE: Ok. well Bento to you too!

FERAL: You are so friendly, I am looking forward to meeting you again. What did you say your name was? 

ROSIE: It’s Rosie

FERAL: Ah what is that saying A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet? Such a beautiful name for such a belle amie. 

ROSIE: (giggles) I’m not even sure what you said.  You better get going before Jack wakes up and discovers you.  

FEREL:I shall head down these stairs and look for my Kitten now. (SFX: walking down stairs) Kitten? Are you down here? Hello? Perhaps in zis room? Oh what is zis in the corner? Is it a mouse? I don’t like rodents!

Rubix: Mouse? I am no mouse. I am Rubix Ollivander Daniels the Hamster of Doom! I am the fiercest hamster formerly of Florida and now of Washington. Don’t be fooled by my small size. I have made creatures much bigger than you suffer and cry for mercy. 

FERAL: Is that so? Impressive, but I do not fear you, you silly rodent. I was raised in the streets and I have seen my fair share of bullies like you. You do not scare me. I am looking for my Kitten. Have you seen her by any chance?

Rubix: Ah, so a foolish cat then! You may serve as a brave minion then squeak squeak. 

FEREL:  Come again?  I did  not catch your mutterings.  Have you seen Kitten?

RUBIX: Murder Mittens? No. I have not seen her for a while. 

FERAL: Murder Mittens? Surely you do not mean my sweet and kind Kitten. 

Rubix: Ha! Love clearly makes you blind and weak. She tries to be my friend, but I do not need friends. I keep her around in case she may become useful but all she does is read and spend time with her bird brained friends.

FERAL: You mean her poulet friends? 

Rubix: No, they don’t lay by a pool, they’re in some sort of chicken house with nests. If she’s not around here she’s probably down there.

FERAL: Non, I was there not too long ago and she was not there. C’est dommage. I was hoping to invite her to a stroll along the forest path. 

Rubix: If you let me out we can find her together. Squeak squeak

FERAL: If I must be honest, I am not fond of you rodents so I like you better in zee cage

Rubix: Frenchy felines so incredibly useless! You will see when I put my H.A.P.P.Y plan in action you will regret this day!

FERAL: Did you say H.A.P.P.Y?

Rubix: Why do I even bother with such a kibble brained cat? Yes, my plan… Hamsters Annihilating Pathetic People Yes! 

FERAL: Oh mon dieu, c’est pas possible (slightly laughing). Do you not know what that spells?

Kitten: FERAL??? What are you doing in my house?

FERAL: Ah Kitten! Ma chere! How lovely it is to see you! 

Kitten: Feral, what are you doing here? How did you get in? Did someone let you in?

FERAL: Oh Kitten the strangest thing happened! I was looking around your humans house and looking through the windows for you. I happened to come across a window that turned out to be a large door and then suddenly it just opened magically.

KItten: Oh dear… the door… oh no. 

FERAL: Oh yes! I met a lovely and spritely dog named Rosie! She was so helpful to advise me about zis character named Jack and then directed me to zis lower floor to find you.

Kitten: Oh she did…. Great. She’s right about Jack though. You really shouldn’t come in through that way. Jack is not friendly particularly towards cats and his memory seems to be much worse lately.  He doesn’t even recognize me, not that it would matter.  He still does not like me. . He’s hyper aware of intruders so it’s a good thing he didn’t wake up and find you…. I guess. 

FERAL: Oh Kitten, always looking out for my safety. You are really such a tender sweet cat. I have also met your rodent friend - Ruby something.

Rubix: Are there hairballs in your ears? Rubix… BIX! Rhymes with inflicts! Like the terror I can cause once I escape this cage. Ha ha, squeak squeak

FERAL: Zis little one is very threatening non? But it is very difficult to take them so seriously when she’s so small.

Kitten: Yes, you could say her squeak is worse than her bite although I don’t know if Maddox would agree with that. She has rather sharp teeth. 

FERAL: Enough about zis rodent, I was hoping that you might join me for a stroll along ze path? 

Kitten: Well, we should get you out of the house before someone else finds you. We can go through the open window that Maddox leaves for me rather than chance Jack finding you upstairs. 

FERAL: One of ze things I like so much about you Kitten, so practical and intelligente.

Kitten: Sure… Feral, you have to promise me you won’t go near that automatic door again. It’s really dangerous for you if you encounter Jack. Rosie won’t hurt you, but Jack is really unpredictable these days.

FERAL: But of course Kitten. Whatever your heart desires.

Kitten: It’s not really my heart Feral. It’s just in your best interest. Let’s get out through…. Hey, that’s Clucky. What’s he doing up at the house? He’s never wandered so far away from the coop before. This is a crazy day. Let’s go and find out Feral. Just hop up here and go through this open window.

FERAL: After you ma chere. I will follow close behind. Very close.

Kitten: Not too close Feral. I do need some personal space here.

FERAL: Oui, of course. I must restrain myself. 

Clucky: Oh hey Kitten! Look at me! I’m up at the house! I haven’t been here in the yard since we first arrived!

Kitten: Clucky, how did you get over here?

Clucky: I’m what you call a free ranging rooster now. Free, Free Ranging Rooster…(To music of Home on the range) 

FERAL: Bonjour Clucky. (SFX) Record scratch)

Clucky: Oh hey Feral, were you IN the house?

Kitten: Yes. He accidentally came in through the new automatic door the mom person installed for Jack. 

FERAL: It has been quite an aventure today! 

Clucky: No kidding! Xander left the coop open for us and the hens and I have just been meandering all over the place. I forgot about all this nice soft grass up by the house. We can see it again, now that the snow has melted but the ground is a bit cold and squishy in between my claws.

FERAL: Yes the snow was quite difficult to walk through. It’s why I have not been able to visit my Kitten until now. 

Kitten: Hrm, so maybe the snow’s not so bad afterall.

FERAL: So what does zis mean zis free ranging you sing of Clucky?

Clucky: It means FREEDOM! Well during the day that is. Every evening I’ll return home to the coop to go to sleep and it’ll keep me safe from any local predators, but during the day I get to spread my wings and stretch my legs!  I have a larger area to walk around and explore. Hey Kitten, it’ll be just like Florida when we could visit each other really easily. 

KITTEN: That is so exciting, Clucky!  I have missed you being able to come up and explore whenever you liked.  

CLUCKY:  Yeah, me too! I thought I’d look in on the HOD. Is she still trying to take over the world?  

KITTEN:  Of course, somethings never change.  I still hear her hum her Hamster of Doom song to herself every so often.  It’s very annoying, it gets stuck in my head.

CLUCKY: Oh I remember that one!  Wasn’t it.?  Hamster of Doom….( Sings a little) 

KITTEN:  No No! Don’t you start that!  (SFX: Record Scratch) It’s bad enough I have to hear Rubix!  

CLUCKY: Fine! No one is letting me sing today. Is that your window? I’m just going to fly up and say hello.  (SFX: Flapping) Brawk!  Hey Rubix you in there?  How is my favorite HOD? 

RUBIX:  Yes, I am here Rooster, where else would I be?  And what do you mean favorite HOD?  I am the only Hamster of Doom!  

CLUCKY:  Hey Rubix! I have a joke for you!  Do you want to hear it?

RUBIX: If I must….(sigh) 

CLUCKY: What is small, furry and smells like bacon?

RUBIX: Oh please.

CLUCKY: Do you give up?

FERAL:  Oh that is a tough one… Kitten, do you know?

KITTEN: Hmmm.  Oh is it a HAMster?

CLUCKY: Brawk!  You got it Kitten great job! (K, F, C all laugh) 

FERAL:  Good one Clucky.

RUBIX:  Will you all please leave, I can not believe, I am missing out on day sleep to hear the 3 of you babble.  

CLUCKY: Glad to see you still have your fighting spirit.  So long HOD. (SFX: hop flap) So what are you two up today?  

KITTEN: Up to?  We are not up to anything… I was just showing Feral the way out.  

FERAL: and out we are.  It seems like the perfect opportunity to take a stroll.  There is a lovely path through the forest just over there.  It is quiet and the trees arch over the path making it quite secluded.  

CLUCKY:  That sounds kinda romantic. 

KITTEN: Does it?  Its just trees sounds like an opportunity for twigs to get stuck in my fur.  

FERAL: Fear not, I will save you from any branch that should try and leap upon you my precious. 

CLUCKY:  Would you look at that?! It’s starting to snow.  This weather is so strange.  Sunny one minute and snowing the next.  I have better head back down and gather the ladies.  Those clouds look like they are moving in fast. 

KITTEN: Oh you are right Clucky.  It looks like it could be a really bad storm.  The wind is picking up too (SFX gust)  Sorry Feral it's just not going to work out.  

FERAL: Oh this snow!  Spoiling my plans.  But I understand of course my darling Kitten. Go on inside and warm yourself by a cozy fire and perhaps imagine of the day when we can stroll together tail in tail down the tunnel of trees with the sun streaming though, with not a care in the world.  Just the two of us together. Doesn't that sound magnifique! 

CLUCKY:  It does! I’ll come too!

FERAL: Ahhh maybe not

KITTEN: Clucky that would be so much fun! With your new free ranging status we can go all over and explore.  

FERAL:  That’s not exactly… perhaps you have misunderstood…

CLUCKY: No, No, I totally get it.  We are like the 3 amigos!  Exploring all the uncharted paths life can throw at us.  Kitten Feral and Clucky!  We can be Club KFC!  I love it! 

KITTEN: I like it!  Club KFC. 

FERAL:  Why does that sound familiar?

CLUCKY: Cause it was meant to be!  Barwk (shake feathers)  Time to get going, the snow is collecting on my feathers.  Hasta pronto!  That means see you soon Amigos!

End Credits

Bawking about?

K: Hey Clucky, have you heard everyone bawking about groundhogs day this month?  

C: I did, but I don’t know what all the fuss is about.  So a little groundhog came out of his den.  What’s the big deal?

K: Oh it’s not just any groundhog, its Punxsutawney Phil.  

C: Who now?  He’s a phony Phil?  

K: No Punxsutawney Phil, actually that is just his nick name.  His full name is Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, and Weather Prophet Extraordinary.

C:  Wow that quite a long name.  I wish I had Extraordinary in my name. I can see why he shortened it.  So why does a groundhog have such a big name? 

K: Well he is a legend and he predicts when spring will come.  

C: He controls the weather?

K: No of course not.  However on February 2nd he comes out of his den and if he sees his shadow, he goes back in and there will be 6 more weeks of winter.  If it is cloudy and he does not see his shadow then that means spring will come soon! 

C: February 2nd!  That has already passed.  What happened? Did he see his shadow?  Will this winter last another 6 weeks?!  We’ve had some nice days… I was hoping spring was coming…

K:  He did not see his shadow so he is predicting that spring is on its way!  

C: Hooray!  I am so excited to experience spring! 

K:  Don’t get too excited just yet Clucky.  According to the research I have been doing, Punxsutawney Phil only gets it right about 39% of the time.  You have better luck, flipping a coin and guessing heads or tails.  

C: So you are telling me there is a chance he is right.  

K: Sure, but there is a bigger chance he is wrong.  

C:  You’re telling me there is a chance!  Hope Springs eternal Kitten. See Spring, it must be on its way!

K: Ok Clucky.  Hi Listeners, don’t forget, we’d love to hear what you are bawking about.  You can call in to our show at 321-345-1544 or reach us at kittenandclucky.com We’d love to hear you bawking on our next episode!