Competing Tragedies

Feral is back trying to impress Kitten and brings her a flower with an unexpected surprise full of drama no one saw coming. 

 New words in this episode:
•Et Viola (French - Ta Da!)
•Hummingbird
•Encounter
•C’est incroyable (French - That’s incredible)
•Frantically
•Desperately
•Imminent
•Irritant
•Confrontation
•Plummeting
•Indistinct
•Nourishing
•Irony
•Metallic
•Life altering
•Aaptive
•Lair
•Ordeal

Themes:
•Working though exhaustion
•Facing fears
•Challenges of interruptions
•Demonstrating Active Listening & Empathy
•Managing Unexpected Developments

Questions to ask your Listener:
•What sound do Hummingbirds make when they fly?
•What direction can hummingbirds fly that other birds can not? 
•How fast do hummingbirds wings flap per second? 
•What attacked Brigitta?
•What saved Brigitta’s eye? 

Songs:  
•Hummingbird by Clucky

Transcript

EPISODE 9: COMPETING TRAGEDIES

SFX OF CHATTER AND THEN THE SOUND OF A LIGHT THUD.

FERAL:

 Et voila!! Kitten, ma cherie, I present to you a gift.

KITTEN

 Oh hi Feral. That wasn’t necessary.  What is that?

CLUCKY

 Feral! Buddy! Good to see you! It kind of looks like a mangled flower.

FERAL

 It is a large beautiful blossom that paled in comparison to my Kitten, but nevertheless I decided it must be a gift to my beautiful amour to show the depths of my feelings. 

BRIGITTA

 That is so darling of you Feral. Kitten you’re so lucky.

BELLA

 It’s a strange flower…it seems to be moving. I’ve heard the phrase shaking like a leaf before, but never shaking like a flower.

CLUCKY

Bella’s right…. Feral, where did you get this flower?

FERAL

 I found it on my way over here. In the garden. It did seem to be strangely wiggling in my mouth on the way here.

KITTEN

 Oh dear…. Maybe we should take a peek inside of it….I’ll gently open it up a bit more.

BRIDGET

Maybe it’s just a bee, but be careful Kitten. You don’t want to get stung.

HUMPHREY

Who are you calling a bee? I’m not a bee!

CLUCKY

WHOA!!! Look at you. You’re the tiniest bird I’ve ever seen. You are a bird right?

HUMPHREY 

Yes, I’m a bird, who clearly is having the worst 24 hours of luck.

KITTEN 

Oh we’re so sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do to help?

HUMPHREY 

Make sure that you and that black cat doesn’t eat me?

FERAL

 I do not eat birds. After that last bird encounter with Miss Peckham I have not eaten or killed any birds. I only meant to bring a flower to my precious Kitten. What were you doing inside of it?

HUMPHREY

Well…. The short story is drinking nectar and trying to gain some strength but there’s so much more that’s happened!

BELLA

Oh you poor thing. Kitten won’t hurt you. She’s a very sweet cat that considers birds friends. You can come out a bit more of that flower. 

SFX OF LOW RUSTLING - BIRD EMERGING FROM PETALS, FEATHERS RUSTLING…

HUMPHREY 

I’m still damp thanks to that cat. 

FEATHERS RUFFLING AND SOME SHAKING LIKE A DOG SFX

KITTEN

Oh, you’re a hummingbird. 

CLUCKY

Do you hum a lot? What songs do you know? I love to sing…

MUSIC STARTS - 

join in if you know it…There once was a humming bird so small he fit in a flower...nobody? 

RECORD SCRATCH/ MUSIC STOPS

HUMPHREY 

No, I don’t sing. I chirp but I wouldn’t call it singing or humming.

KITTEN

Actually hummingbirds got named because when they’re flying, their wings move so quickly it makes a humming sound.

HUMPHREY 

Hrm, I wouldn’t call it humming, it’s more like buzzing. See? 

SFX buzzing sound for hummingbird flying

CLUCKY 

That’s cool! Look at you hovering in place. I didn’t realize birds could do that!

HUMPHREY 

It’s actually unique to hummingbirds. We’re also the only birds that can fly backwards too. 

(MORE BUZZING SOUNDS) 

FERAL 

Oh la la! C’est incroyable. With such skills how can life be so bad?

HUMPHREY 

Well it all started yesterday afternoon. I was just flying around looking for nectar when something red caught my eye. I immediately zipped over to it and discovered it was not a flower but some sort of tool that humans use. When I rose up I found myself trapped. 

BELLA 

Oh that sounds frightening.

CLUCKY 

Was it a trap? Did it have bars? Were you caged?

HUMPHREY

No, I don’t think so. I just kept flying up into this white space and it didn’t allow me to go any higher. I started flying frantically around, looking for an opening so I could get out and it felt like it was closing in on me.

KITTEN 

Oh! That sounds really frightening. But you eventually got out right?

HUMPHREY 

NO!! That’s what I mean about my bad luck for the past 24 hours. I just kept flying and bumping into this stone wall. It looked like stone all around me except for the ceiling which was all bright and white. 

BRIGITTA 

Oh that sounds dreadful. I had a terrifying moment myself, don’t you all remember when I nearly lost my right eye after scratching it on that blackberry vine?  

FERAL 

Mon dieu, that sounds terrible. Those blackberry vines are a menace to society. I myself have gotten scratched many a time. 

BRIDGET 

Yes, Brigitta we remember that, but I want to know what happened to the hummingbird.  So, how did you finally escape?

HUMPHREY 

I didn’t!

CLUCKY 

Well hang on now, you must have escaped because you’re here now. 

HUMPHREY 

I didn’t realize that getting stuck was only the beginning of the dramatic events that then unfolded.

KITTEN 

Oh do share! 

HUMPHREY 

Well, I just kept flying in circles, trying desperately to get out. I knew my life depended on it. Because we fly so fast and our wings beat 50-70 times per second we use up a lot of energy quickly. 

BRIGITTA 

Oh my!! My wings don’t beat that quickly but I did a lot of flapping when I scratched my eye. The skin near my eye is quite thin and not protected by feathers like the rest of my body.  It is really easy to get a serious wound in that area.  

FERAL 

Was the wound so serious? Were you hospitalized?

BRIGITTA 

Yes I was! 

BRIDGET 

You were not!

BRIGITTA 

Well I practically was. The skin above my eye swelled up so much that I could not even open that eye.  Xander and the mom person had to catch me and put this blue goop on my head for days!  

HUMPHREY 

Blue goop would not have helped me. I was getting progressively more tired and weak. I thought that death was imminent.

CLUCKY 

Yeah, I would agree that death would be an irritant in this situation.

HUMPHREY 

Not irritant. I said imminent - meaning it was going to happen soon.

KITTEN 

You’ll have to excuse Clucky. Sometimes he mishears words. 

BRIGITTA

 I thought I was going to die too! We have so much in common!!

HUMPHREY 

I was feeling so weak. There was a chain hanging down from the centre of the ceiling. I quickly grabbed onto it. I couldn’t perch on the stone any longer because I was afraid I’d slip and fall to my death. I latched onto the chain with my weary feet and just rested. It had to be evening. I think several hours had passed, but there was a glow from the lamp that was connected to the bottom of the chain. It was the only thing that kept me from being in complete darkness. I knew that death was knocking at my door.

KITTEN 

Oh my. This is a terrible story. The only reason I know that it didn’t end badly is because you’re here now telling us this tale otherwise I don’t think I’d want to hear the rest. 

HUMPHREY 

When the morning light came, I was so weak. I could barely keep my eyes open. I must have fallen asleep clinging on to the chain but I had no strength at all. A small breeze could have knocked me down to my death. 

CLUCKY 

So, who rescued you? 

BRIGITTA 

Well, in my case it was Maddox. She came down with Xander and noticed the bump that had grown above my eye causing it to close.  

CLUCKY 

Not you Brigitta!  We know you were healed by the blue goop. 

HUMPHREY 

I’m so happy you were saved too, but In my case, in the morning a human came through a door, looked up and started yelling that I was still up there. The next thing I knew the chain wobbled and I fell upside down, but the problem was, my foot got stuck on the chain, so now there I was just dangling by one leg, caught on a chain, hanging upside down. I didn’t have any strength to pull myself up. I started making peace with dying.

FERAL 

Oh mon dieu. Zis is a frightening story. I have lived on the streets for so long but never encountered such a confrontation with the end of my life. Perhaps it is because they say cats have 9 lives?

KITTEN 

We don’t really have 9 lives Feral.

FERAL 

Are you positive ma chere? You are very intelligente, so I must believe you know better than I.

HUMPHREY 

Ahem, shall I continue?

BELLA 

Oh please do!

HUMPHREY 

Well, yes, hanging there, my life literally slipping away. There was some commotion and movement down below. I couldn’t even open my eyes to see what was going on. I heard some voices, maybe 3 different ones, mentioning a ladder, a moving blanket, knocking me down with a broom… just indistinct muffled voices because I was even too frail to hear. 

BRIGITTA 

Were they going to knock you down with a broom? The monsters!

HUMPHREY 

I don’t know exactly what happened, but I felt a gentle push and then suddenly I was plummeting down and then THUD 

(SFX OF SOFT THUD) 

I landed on something soft and then I felt some warmth surrounding my body and some voices again saying that I was still alive and that my neck hadn’t broken. 

CLUCKY: 

GASP! 

That fall could have killed you. You’re very lucky to be alive. Those humans were heroes.

HUMPHREY 

Well not exactly because they brought some sweet nectar out to me but i didn’t have the strength to drink it and then suddenly it was like the human dropped me into it and i was suddenly just wet and sticky. 

CLUCKY 

Were they trying to eat you? You know humans eat birds right? Not all birds, but maybe they thought you’d make a good snack!

HUMPHREY 

Oh the irony of being drowned in the liquid that would normally be life saving. 

CLUCKY 

Did they fill it with metal too?

HUMPHREY 

Metal? No!

KITTEN 

Irony Clucky. It’s when events or words are the opposite of what you’d expect and often are found funny. In this case, it would be kind of funny to die in liquid that otherwise is nourishing for hummingbirds. 

CLUCKY 

That wouldn’t be funny at all!! 

KITTEN 

Well, that’s irony. Not metallic. 

HUMPHREY 

Precisely. I think it was an accident though, because then the human seemed to be cleaning me with a wet cloth and stroking me and apologizing. Then they brought out a smaller container of the nectar, one that I couldn’t fall into, and planted my beak into it. I barely had any strength to open my beak but I knew this was my only chance for survival.

You should have heard them cheer when they realized I was swallowing the sweet sweet nectar of life. 

BRIGITTA 

Oh that reminds me of when Xander and the Mom person came to treat me.  Xander picked me up while the Mom person got the goop.  They had a whole conversation about which goop to use.  There was a spray goop and one you could smear on.  They decided on the one you could smear on because it warned that if you got it on the eye it could result in blindness!  I could have been BLIND in one eye. 

BRIDGET 

Blind in one eye is not the same as almost dying. 

HUMPHREY 

No it’s not, it’s definitely life altering, but I couldn’t even open my eyes because I was so weak. I just kept trying to drink the nectar and gain some strength. And then while I was drinking I kept hearing them talking about putting me in a box and what to do with me. I knew that I had to do everything I could to make my escape before they decided to keep me captive. 

FERAL 

Could you not run away if you had no strength to fly?

HUMPHREY 

Actually no. Hummingbirds are not able to walk or run. We can perch with our legs and feet, but our fastest way to move is fly. When I had finally had enough strength to sit upright without falling over I suddenly found myself being placed into a clear box and then a metal lid was put on top. I think I heard them say it was a cooling rack?

KITTEN

Oh… you were in the kitchen? 

CLUCKY 

Isn’t that where humans prepare food? I had a sneaking suspicion that was what they were planning. 

HUMPHREY 

I was a little panicky. I’ve never been inside a human’s lair before. 

BELLA 

Oh…. calling it a lair makes it sound so much worse and scary.

KITTEN 

It’s not terrible inside a human's home. That’s where I live. 

FERAL 

I agree with Kitten, the home can be quite warm, dry and comfortable. 

HUMPHREY 

Well it turns out it wasn’t that bad. They left me a small container of nectar and I just kept drinking and then I had enough strength to finally fly and hovered inside the box a little bit. It was difficult to fly in such a small box and I certainly didn’t have the strength to pop off the lid so then I just perched on the side and waited to see what would happen. 

BRIDGET 

And…..???

HUMPHREY 

It wasn’t long when the humans returned and discovered I had gained enough strength to start flying. They seemed very excited that I had survived the ordeal and said they were going to let me go.

HENS, KITTEN, CLUCKY, FERAL 

Hurrah, hooray, Yay, 

CHEERING IN GENERAL

FERAL

And so they must have set you free because here you are now.

HUMPHREY 

Yes, They took me outside near a large red flower that I normally feed from near their house and lifted off the metal cooling rack lid. I was a little concerned about my ability to fly, because in a small enclosed space I was fine, but out in the wild and open I felt a little nervous. But, I plucked up some courage and then set off. I landed in a nearby tree, looked back and saw the humans waving at me. They seemed happy.

LOKI 

Who seemed happy?

SFX (LOKI’S POUNCING SOUND AND HUMMINGBIRD BUZZING SOUND)

CLUCKY 

ARGHH! 

FLAPPING

Land sake LOKI!! Again? Stop surprising us like that! 

FERAL 

But isn’t that his name, Surprised?

LOKI 

That’s not my…. Never mind.

CLUCKY

You scared off our new friend. Come back hummingbird!! We don’t even know your name! 

LOKI 

Oops Sorry! Come back hummingbird! 

HUMPHREY 

(SFX BUZZING BACK) 

I feel like I’ve seen you before. 

LOKI 

I live down below. 

HUMPHREY 

I think you’re the dog that’s near one of the flowers I feed at.

LOKI

I know my human mom feeds hummingbirds. She just rescued one this morning. I heard all about it. Got stuck right outside our front door and apparently they had to use a fireman technique of spreading a big blanket so it had something soft to land on. They were so pleased that they saved a hummingbird from the brink of death.

CLUCKY

Well, I’ll be. What a small little world we live. This is the hummingbird your family I saved I think. Feral almost ate him. 

FERAL 

I did not! It was an accident. He was inside of the flower I wanted to give to my Kitten.

LOKI 

It sounds like you have a bit of a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time little guy. 

BRIGITTA 

Oh Loki, if you want to hear about being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I have a story for you!  I nearly went blind by blackberry vine…

CLUCKY 

Hold that thought Brigitta.  Little hummingbird, are you ok now?  There are some more of those red flowers you like just on the other side of our coop.  

HUMPHREY 

This hovering here is taking a lot out of me.  I think I will go get a snack. 

KITTEN 

If you’re going to be around the area, we should know your name! 

HUMPHREY (

SFX OF MORE BUZZING AS HB HOVERS) 

It’s Humphrey

BRIGITTA 

So Loki, as I was saying, I was just minding my business looking for worms when this blackberry vine attacked me! 

CREDITS