Episode #68 - 75 Years of Marriage

I had the pleasure today of sitting down with Earl & Lu Adams, long time members of our congregation. They were married at the age of 21 - and are now in their mid 90s. They have been married for 75 years, which is the second longest marriage I have ever known! How have they made it work? Well...marriage from the beginning was designed by God to be one man and one woman for life. God joins two together in a marriage in such a way that they are never to separate. Divorce is man's invention. Lifelong commitment to your covenant is God's design. 

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Transcript

Welcome back to all of our listeners! I’m BJ Sipe, and you’re listening to the Set Your Mind Above podcast – where everyday ordinary events teach us extraordinary eternal truths. I’m so glad that you’ve tuned in today, I am excited to share my life and my faith with you, and I sure hope that you’ll do the same with me along the way. 

Today’s podcast has actually changed from what I was originally going to do here at the last minute, so I am calling an audible. Today I was able to spend a lot of time with one of our Shepherd’s, Randy Ratliff, as we had Bible study together this morning and then spent the afternoon together getting lunch and visiting some of our members. Our plan was to grab Chick-Fil-A that has a food truck here in town on Fridays (it was amazing) and then go over to Morning Pointe to see Earl & Lu Adams. `We finished our lunch and found ourselves at Morning Pointe a few minutes early so we sat and waited for our visiting time to come. As we sat, we noticed some dead trees along with a great bit of mistletoe bundles in them, which is what I was going to do my podcast on originally – but we’ll save that for next week or maybe even use it towards Christmas time. Finally our time came to visit with Earl & Lu and we went inside, checked in, and made our way to their room. Earl opened the door, greeting us with us usual ear to ear smile and a handshake and invited to come sit. Lu was sitting in her recliner, insisting she get up to greet us but we met her with a hug in her chair instead. We sat for an hour and fifteen minutes together the four of us talking about all sorts of things: babies, grandbabies, great grandbabies, marriage, the church, and the current state of events in our nation. At one point Lu looked at me and said, “Ask Earl how old he is?” I never disobey a lady, so naturally I asked and Earl responded with his big grin and said, “I’m 96 years old.” “Wow, now that really is amazing” I said back, to which Lu replied, “What’s more amazing is that we haven’t killed each other yet.” Oh man did we all have a big laugh. His age and her joke prompted me to ask another question as the laughter died down. “How long have you both been married?” “75 years. It will be 76 in June of next year. We both were 21 years old.” I have to admit, that is the second longest marriage I have ever known. It could have been longer since they “only” got married at 21 years of age – which was an old age to get married back then when everyone got married at 16 & 17 years old. I then asked Randy how long him and Pam have been married, to which he responded almost 50 years now. We talked about marriage for a good long while before we said our goodbyes and made our way back over to where we parked my car by the Chick-Fil-A food truck off the bypass. As Randy and I drove along, I knew immediately that I wanted to change my topic for today. It’s not everyday that you get the privilege to talk with two people who have been married for 75 years, and I want to take full advantage of this opportunity to share some thoughts with you today. 

What makes a marriage last that long? That is such a wonderful question. Sadly, that question is more relevant today than ever before. Did you know that according to the most recent statistics, marriages in the United States last on average a total of only 8 years. In the United States, about 50% of married couples divorce, which is the sixth-highest divorce rate in the world. Subsequent marriages have an even higher divorce rate as 60% of second marriages end in divorce and a staggering 73% of all third marriages end in divorce. Many of these divorces take place long before even the 8 year average mark, as only 1-2 years into a marriage sees a significant rate of divorce in the U.S. This however, is not how God designed marriage to be. From the beginning, God’s design for marriage was that one woman and one man would be married for life. Let’s go back to the beginning together, and consider Genesis 2:21-25, “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” God is the one who instituted the covenant of marriage, not man. He is it’s author, designer, and he alone is the one that has the authority to bind two people, a man and a woman, in marriage. I want you also to notice what God said of a man and his wife, that he was to hold fast to his wife. The word here literally means to cling to or cleave. When you cling on to something, it is your earnest desire to never let go. That was God’s design of marriage – it is never to end, but lasts as long as two people live. Jesus reiterates this in Matthew 19 when he was tested by the Pharisees. Consider vv. 3-6, “And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Read that last statement from Jesus again – what God has joined together, let not man separate. When God joins two people in marriage, they become one flesh. It is a permanent union, never to be broken. In fact, the term joined here means to “yoke together” as you would two oxen to plow a field. They are yoked for the sole purpose that they will pull together in the same direction, and the yoke laid across them prevents them from being separated. In marriage, God has yoked two people together as long as they both shall live. They are to walk together in the same direction, united in mind, spirit, and body in all things. There is no earthly relationship that can achieve the same unity or intimacy as that of a husband and wife. We began by asking the question: what makes a marriage last? I think if you spoke to someone like Earl and Lu it would help you to understand the answer to this question is simple. It is not some great secret, it is not a profound mystery, nor is there some shortcut to always find happiness in a marriage. The fact of the matter is sometimes marriage is very hard. The answer is simply this: a marriage lasts when both parties love God & love one another with complete resolve that divorce is not an option. No matter how hard things get, no matter how rocky the road might be, you realize that God has yoked you together for life – and you’re going to learn how to pull together as one. I understand that divorce occurs, and I understand the exception for remarriage that Jesus gives later on in Matthew 19, but that’s not the point today. The point very simply is this: God designed marriage to be for life. Are you committed to his plan for your marriage? If you are, then one day you too can sit back perhaps after 75 years and praise God for how he has helped you to stay together as one flesh all along the way. 

Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Tune in, Tuesday-Fridays, as a new podcast episode will be uploaded each day. Also, be sure to follow the Facebook page for the Set Your Mind Above podcast for future announcements and video sessions. As you have the opportunity, share these thoughts with your friends and family, and share with me what important lessons you are learning from every day, ordinary events. Until next time know that I love you, that God loves you, and may we all each and every day set our minds above.