Peace & Prosperity Podcast

How to Take Accountability - Episode #76

• Jason Phillips • Episode 76

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The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.

 Embrace accountability and manage high-functioning anxiety with practical strategies for personal growth and self-discovery. Learn how taking responsibility can boost confidence, enhance relationships, and foster integrity. We’ll explore ways to assess your capacity, heal personal areas, and manage anxiety effectively, all while reminding you to practice self-compassion. Tune in for actionable advice and insights to empower your journey. 

Plus, remember to join our podcast community—like, share, subscribe, and let us know what topics you want us to cover next. Engage with us, send a DM, or leave a review. Let's continue this journey towards peace and prosperity together.

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Speaker 1:

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, Y'all, we are going there today. So today we're going to be talking about how to take accountability. Now, y'all know this is always one of the hotter, most pressing topics on the podcast, because we want to know, like, how can we step it up? And you know, when you take more accountability, you are more confident and it takes you to have ownership, to really have a lot of integrity, to say that I'm going to take accountability and then to actually go ahead and put that into practice. So before we talk about how to take accountability, I want to first talk about why you need to take accountability.

Speaker 1:

One is going to enhance your character. So if you're thinking, how can I be a better person, how can I be more responsible? How can people trust me more? The more you lean into being accountable, the higher you're going to be on that scale. Whether it be again, trustworthiness, integrity, people are going to look to you because you're owning up and saying, look, I want to step my game up, and often we're pointing at somebody else you did this or you did that. You didn't do this. You made me feel this way, right? How many times have we heard that? You made me feel, you made me do? Come on now. Does somebody really have that much power over you where they can make you do these things or did something? They do lead you to feel a certain way and then, because of that result or, at the end result, was you behaving in a certain manner? But let's pause and stop always putting the blame on someone else and what they made you do. It didn't happen like that. You had a role in it too.

Speaker 1:

So why don't we always take accountability? Because we feel like, if we take accountability, I'm a bad person. I did something wrong. Listen, we all make mistakes, self-included. So the more we can take accountability, the more we can have an even ground like level the playing field, and move from there. Another reason we don't take accountability is we feel like we're going to be exposed or found out. Oh, if I say I did this or I didn't do that, then that means I'm not as good as I say I am. Trust me, whether you say it or you don't say it, it's not changing how people feel about you or what you have done or what you haven't done, but trying to avoid it or downplay it. That's not a good look, y'all. So let's get into now that we talked about, like why we need to and why we don't.

Speaker 1:

How do we? The first? Don't overcommit. There are times when we say we're going to do something because we want to be nice, we want to help somebody out, but then we feel like or we get into the situation and figure out oh, this is too much for me. I said I was going to help Brandy, joe, jackie, kevin. I can't help all these people, but don't blame them because they asking you for help. Take accountability that you said yes to all of those people. That's the first step. Don't overcommit. Look at your calendar first If you're trying to help somebody financially, look at your pocketbook, look at your bank account before you say, yes, I got you.

Speaker 1:

And then you get mad at them when it was you who gave them the yes. The same thing in relationships too. You say, hey, I'm going to do this around the house, or I'm going to do, you know, spend this much time with you, this around the house, or I'm going to do, you know, spend this much time with you. Do you truly have that much time to give, do you? Because if you don't, it's OK, but I want you to think about it first before you just willingly give that yes. And now that person is upset with you and you're like, well, you put too much on me now, but you agree to it. So it was a two way street. It wasn't just that person.

Speaker 1:

So, number one, do not over commit. Number two this is where the work comes in. I want you to identify where do you feel the most hurt, where do you feel like you are not being heard or the healing needs to happen? And once you identify where that place is, I want you to get the help that you need. You see what happened right there. You identify this is the source of pain and after you identified it, now you're saying I'm gonna do something about it. That is you taking accountability. So when you show up in these relationships, when you show up for yourself, now, the healing is already in process. Yeah, that that number two is going to be a game changer. Hey, peace and prosperity family. I want to take a moment to talk about something vital for all organizations Employee wellness. I focus on tackling issues such as low morale, burnout and helping teams thrive by improving their employee wellness. Here's what some of the past organizations have shared about their experiences.

Speaker 3:

Vincent Phillips has been a tremendous value to our team. His session on psychological safety and mental health tools for leadership has been immense for all of us.

Speaker 2:

The privilege of joining Mr Jason Phillips a wonderful session about psychological safety and psychological health. There are a lot of key takeaways from from his presentation. I mean he discussed just how leadership impacts team health and team mental health.

Speaker 1:

In Jason's session today and I just took away a lot of invaluable information to bring back to my shop. You're interested in investing in your team's mental health? Visit Jason L Phillips dot com or visit the link below, and let's talk about creating a thriving work environment for your organization.

Speaker 1:

Now back to the episode Number three be open to apologizing. See, that was my thing, because some of y'all don't like to forgive, don't like to apologize and do not like to say hey, I was in the wrong. My bad, I'll never forget. I had two colleagues. They were getting into it, upset about whatever work stuff, and I remember asking one of my colleagues like hey, what, what's the situation? And she said well, she feels like blah, blah, blah. A, you know, this is what the situation is. And she was so, so deep into what she said. She said I'm not going to. What did she say? She said I'm not going to apologize for what I did because I meant everything I said, but I will apologize if she took it a certain way. And whatever she said, I was like hold up, hold up, hold up. Basically, you're not giving a real apology. You feel what I'm saying? Like, she said I'm going to apologize not for what I said but for how she took it. If she took it that way, all I know is that that right there threw me for a loop because like, are you apologizing or are you not? And then the last piece is after you apologize, I want you, oh.

Speaker 1:

And then the last piece after you apologize, is ask yourself how am I contributing to this problem? See, when you take accountability, you don't just put it on the other person, but you have to look inward at what is your role or what has your role been in this situation. How are you contributing to it? And we often don't want to do that. How are you contributing to it? And we often don't want to do that? But that, right there, it humbles you and it lets the other person know that you are truly sincere about doing something in this situation and you're not just putting it on them. This will help you in any relationship.

Speaker 1:

Let's say you're a parent and you're upset with how your kids are behaving or what they're doing or not doing in school. How are you contributing to it? Don't just put it all on your kid, even if it's only five percent of something that you could do differently, that five percent goes a long way. Because now you're saying, OK, look, I've been letting you get away with not studying on a weekend when I know or I knew you should have been studying more. That's ownership. That's saying that, hey, I can be a little bit more strict with you, I can be more disciplined with you and not putting it all on the child in a relationship.

Speaker 1:

You've been upset because this person, you're not communicating well, but you take ownership and say you know what? But there are some times when you're talking to me and I'm checked out, I'll be honest, I'm I'm waiting to respond, and it's going in one ear and out the other because I'm still hurt from when you disrespected me or when I didn't feel heard two times ago. So I am contributing to the poor communication now with yourself. Maybe there's some goals that you have set for you and you're looking at your environment is why you can't reach these goals. Well, I don't have all the necessary tools or my mindset's not right. My health when my health is better, then I'll be able to perform or to move like I want to.

Speaker 1:

You know what that sounds like. It sounds like you only take accountability when it's conditional. I want you to take accountability for that too. That is you contributing to the problem. See, accountability can go a long way and it can help in a number of ways too. But we have to be open to taking a lot more ownership and stop putting the blame on other people, other systems, other situations. But what can we truly do to address this problem? Y'all let me know how you start showing up and what changes happen in your life when you start to take more accountability.

Speaker 1:

All right, y'all, y'all be blessed Peace. Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. Again, if you are feeling like, hey, hey, I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, don't beat yourself up about it. It is okay. We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own, but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through. Okay, and lastly and lastly, make sure, if you have not like share, subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend. And if you want to hear certain episodes or have certain conversations, let me know. You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up. All right, y'all Be blessed Peace.