Peace & Prosperity Podcast

Clarity: The Missing Piece in Your Confidence Puzzle - Episode #87

• Jason Phillips • Episode 87

Share episode

Send us a text

The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally. 

Feeling stuck or doubting yourself? What if it’s not your confidence but your clarity holding you back?

In this episode, Jason breaks down why high achievers stay stuck despite their skills. You might be excelling at work but still struggling personally because you lack a clear blueprint.

Clarity builds confidence. When you know what you want and why, creating a winning strategy becomes easier. Jason shares practical ways to get clear on your goals, stop tolerating what drains you, and move forward with conviction.

If you’re tired of feeling lost, this episode will show you what’s really in your way – and how to fix it.

To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
 
 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jphillipsmsw/
 
 Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jphillipsmsw
 
 Visit Jason's website for a consultation:
 
 Website -https://www.jasonlphillips.com
 
 To book Jason to speak to your team or organization:
 
 https://peaceprosperitycoaching.hbportal.co/public/660d8068c9d2d600253b215b/1-Inquiry

Support the show

Speaker 1:

Think about if you're getting into any type of competition. When you know what the guidelines are for that competition, you're clear on what you need to do. So once you're really clear on what it takes, what the guidelines are, what the standards, all of those things, then you start game planning so that you can crush it and win the competition. In essence, you build your confidence that way. Welcome to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. I'm your host, jason Phillips, licensed therapist, confidence expert. We're going to unpack the difference between confidence and clarity. So what if I told you that your confidence is not broken, but your clarity is? Yeah, I'm talking to you because you're sitting here doubting yourself, thinking that you're the problem. You're not sure about who you are and you're starting to beat yourself up internally, but in essence, you are confident. You have the skill set. Essence, you are confident. You have the skill set. There are no limiting beliefs, at least in this area of your life. But what you're lacking is clarity. I've seen this before in clients that I've worked with. They'll come to me thinking that hey, I'm stuck, I'm not sure about this, or I'm dealing with imposter syndrome. I'm doubting myself when we start to unpack what's really going on with them. They do have confidence, they're great in a lot of areas in their lives, but they lack the clarity and, because of the clarity, or lacking it, it's causing them to be confused. I've been there before you probably have been there before. You may be here now which is why you're tapping into this episode and I'll tell you that in different points of my life, when I lacked clarity, I felt confused and it led me to think that maybe I'm not confident about the next step, when in reality, I needed more clarity on that blueprint of what that next step should look like. So like, for instance, when I was going to grad school the first time a lot of different options, you know, should I go to this school, should I go to that school? Should I study this field Psychology, social work, a mix, mental health, all of these decisions and they were great decisions, but at the time when I wasn't sure about what was best for me, that caused me to doubt OK, what if? You know, what if I do this and it goes wrong? There are all these different statements and questions that I'm having when, in essence, it boiled down to me needing to get even more clear on what my goals are. Same thing when I was in my career about, I would say, four years in I started thinking about going back to school and I'm like do I really want to go back to school? Do I want to be a researcher? Do I want to get into academia? All of these questions, which again led me to not being clear.

Speaker 1:

So it can seem like you lack something such as confidence, the sureness in your decision, but that's because the clarity is missing. So let's kind of break that down, the difference between confidence and clarity. When you're confident, you're going to be sure of yourself. And there's the difference I was talking to or not talking to. But I had an interaction with Dr Reese, who's a great coach as well, and she talked about the difference between self-confidence and craft confidence. Sometimes, when you have craft confidence, you know you're killing it in that area, that skill set, this specific field. But then the self-confidence that lets you just be, you Meaning, when you get up, you're going to wear what you want to wear. When you have in your relationship, you're going to say what needs to be said. See, that has nothing to do with your skill set. That's all about you being comfortable. Sometimes we lack that, we'll be confident in this area. You know, we know we can crush it at work. But then on our personal lives you're like, oh, maybe not so much. So that's the confidence piece we want to be able to master, both the skill confidence and the craft confidence, or the self-confidence and the craft confidence. But then what about clarity? That's when you know what the next step is.

Speaker 1:

I think about clarity as having a blueprint. You know your roadmap for your life and when you follow that roadmap, everything seems to be clicking. For me I use myself as an example. When I was going to school, I knew after school I wanted to work in the federal system for five to 10 years, then I want to go into private practice, then I wanted to do a whole host of things. But that clarity was really already there from the time I wrote my personal statement. Fast forward to 15 years later.

Speaker 1:

Now, when we don't have that blueprint, that roadmap and it doesn't have to be like crystal clear, doesn't have to be like crystal clear Then we start to second guess Am I doing the right thing? Do I know what I'm talking about? What's going on with my life? I'm feeling stuck. That's when the self-doubt kicks in because you're not sure about what you're doing and you start to confuse yourself, even on the difference between you being confident and then you essentially lacking clarity. Another sign that you are confusing the two, or you're not sure about what's next, will confuse overthinking with planning.

Speaker 1:

So we've been thinking about this for a long time in our head. When it comes to putting things out on pen and paper, not so good, we can talk about it a whole lot. When it comes to taking action steps, oh, we're feeling a little iffy, we're stuck. When that happens again Now we feel like we're just spinning our wheels, not because we're not taking steps or making progress, but because the progress is not tangible. You're talking about it but you're not following through. You're talking about it but you're not following through. And then it leads you to not trust yourself because you can quote, unquote, talk a good game, but where's the proof behind it? Y'all may have heard that, being less sure about what's next.

Speaker 1:

When you are clear, when you know that this is what I'm doing now, you can say it with some assertiveness, with some security. You know, you can be passionate about it because you're following what is for you. When you become that clear. Now the confidence, it just comes right along. Think about if you're getting into any type of competition when you know what the guidelines are for that competition, you're clear on what you need to do. So once you're really clear on what it takes, what the guidelines are, what the standards, all of those things, then you start game planning so that you can crush it and win the competition. In essence, you build your confidence that way, so you're not going to feel stuck when you know what to do, how to do it. You kind of have that roadmap A to Z, and then you're taking actions. The clarity builds the confidence.

Speaker 1:

Now let's get into some of the signs that you are lacking clarity. Number one you're second guessing everything. You are not making sure statements. You may be saying things like oh, I'm going to try this out, I'm going to see if this works. When it comes to setting See, like, what do you mean, jason? So when you set that goal, let's say you're going to work out how much, how often. Well, I'm probably going to the gym about I don't know three or four times a week. Then I bump it up to four or five. That's a big difference between three and five. So let's leave out that wiggle room and just land on four.

Speaker 1:

When you say I'm going to try to meet all of my goals this week or I'm going to try to eat clean this week, um, why are we just trying? Why are we not doing more? What's up with that? Sometimes we give ourselves that out by saying we're going to try to do something when, in essence, we need to make the decision and push for that decision that we're making. Right Again, you're going to be super clear, you're going to be assertive, and then you're going to be confident enough to follow through all the other. I'm going to try, I'm going to see what's up. We'll make something happen. When you give yourself that out, you're already telling yourself, you're doubting yourself and you don't believe you. Nobody else is going to believe you. The last sign that you struggle with clarity is it's hard for you to articulate your vision.

Speaker 1:

Now, this is something that I see a lot when I'm working with high achievers. I'll ask them something about their goals and they start to be very unclear, maybe fumble around the words. Very unclear, maybe fumble around the words. It's not like coming straight out. For instance, when you ask somebody to talk about who they are. Sometimes people can really fumble, that they'll stumble. Or when they do talk about themselves, it's really really quick and I even had to learn this about myself.

Speaker 1:

I'm listening to other people maybe introduce themselves, whether we're in the classroom or on a stage, and I'm short and sweet, to the point, and somebody else is breaking things down more elaborate. I'm like, oh okay, I've seen the gap there and it let me know. Let me be super clear about who I am. Let me show up with confidence and let me not leave anything out. Doesn't mean that I have to be super cocky or grandiose about myself, no, but what I am going to be is clear that I'm Jason Phillips. I'm a licensed therapist, confidence expert, college professor, 15 years experience in the field. I've worked with veterans, communities, high achievers. I've worked with big Fortune 500 organizations. I've been named XYZ. I've been in these. Again, I don't have to always elaborate to that degree, but my point is now it's clear about who I am and what I'm bringing to the table.

Speaker 1:

It's not just like oh, I'm Jason, go to the next person. Same thing comes for our goals and our vision. When you're not sure about where you're going, that's a sign that you lack clarity. Oh, I want to be successful. What does success look like for you? Does that mean that you have more time with your family and you can take vacations at your leisure? Does that mean that you've grown your bank account to a certain number? Does that mean that you reach this level of peace in your home and in your heart? Be clear about it. Some of us aren't driven by certain things, and that's okay. But just know what is it that feeds you, what's gonna push you to that next level? And when you get that type of clarity, be confident and sure about it. Don't wax and wane, don't let your head go low when you say it. Say it with your chest and be proud. Hey, to be super clear, that in itself is something that a lot of us strive for and you want to be proud of when you can get to that level.

Speaker 1:

So now, when you're thinking about how do you regain that clarity, because I don't want to just tell you the difference between confidence and clarity, the signs that you're lacking clarity, and then not give you some things to do about it. First question I want to ask you is what do you want for yourself right now, in this moment? And I would challenge you not to just say it out loud, but write it down so that when you see it, it's crystal clear. And if you need to make adjustments, that's fine too. But you can refine the vision that you have and even make it even more detailed.

Speaker 1:

Next, what are you tolerating that is draining you? What are you allowing to happen in your life? And you know that you're not happy with this thing? It could be a person, it could be a relationship, it could be an event, something that's happening in your life, but it's taken away from who you are and where you want your life to go. I will challenge you to write that down too. And then, what are the steps that you need to do something about it? It's not enough just to say, oh yeah, I'm struggling with this or I don't like that. What are you going to do about it?

Speaker 1:

Lastly, if you had the confidence and clarity that you desire, what decision would you make? What would be different? Spend some time on that one. I don't want you just hurrying up and telling somebody or telling yourself what you think you want to hear. Be honest with those statements. Y'all. You have what it takes right now the doubting yourself, the feeling stuck, the overthinking, the not being clear about who you are and where you want to go is stopping now. If you want to take some action, I've given you some things to think about and also to implement so that you no longer are feeling like you don't have what you need and you're just stuck in a place of sorrow and you're drowning. All right, y'all, as always, be blessed Peace.

Speaker 1:

Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. Again, if you are feeling like, hey, I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, don't beat yourself up about it. It is OK. We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own, but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through. Ok, and lastly, make sure if you have not like share, subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend. And if you want to hear certain episodes or have certain conversations, let me know. You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up. All right, y'all. Be blessed Peace.