Peace & Prosperity Podcast
In the Peace & Prosperity Podcast, Jason Phillips, licensed therapist and life coach, shares personal experiences that force you to think deeply about your values, beliefs, and behaviors to ensure you achieve peace, happiness, and success in your life.
Peace & Prosperity Podcast
Real Talk About Mental Wellness with Venus Austin - Episode #93
The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
In this episode, Jason sits down with Venus for a raw, honest discussion about burnout, grief, and the cost of always being “the strong one.” Venus opens up about her own experience with burnout—going from managing eight tasks at once to barely handling two—and how that shift forced her to confront her mental health.
They explore how grief shows up in unexpected ways, including the loss of her beloved dog, Coco Chanel, and how society often overlooks that kind of pain. Jason shares reflections from his time in hospice and the personal losses that shaped his healing journey.
Together, they challenge the myth that vulnerability is weakness, offering a powerful reminder: you only get one mind, one body, one life—and it deserves to be cared for.
Plus, remember to join our podcast community—like, share, subscribe, and let us know what topics you want us to cover next. Engage with us, send a DM, or leave a review. Let's continue this journey towards peace and prosperity together.
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It's a lot like dealing with that because, like you, people don't honor that either. It's to most people and I get it like they're just dogs, so it's like you just keep on going. But Chanel, coco Chanel, was our baby, so yeah.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Peace and Prosperity Podcast, where we talk mental wellness, confidence and real life tools to help high achievers thrive. I'm your host, jason Phillips, licensed therapist, speaker coach, and I'm glad you're here. Let's get into the episode, all right, y'all? We back for another episode, and this time we are talking about mental health. A very important topic yeah, Kick us off V. Why is it important?
Speaker 1:It's just like your physical health. People ignore mental health because it's not, like it can be taboo, stigmatized, especially in the Black community. But it's just as important as your physical health. Like it's literally you're dealing with things every day. So if you're not mentally sound or healthy or taking care of yourself, it's going to be hard for you to show up.
Speaker 2:And I'll say, the thing that helps me with my mental health is checking in with people like y'all, like I mean having therapists, having the coaches and the support too, but like sometimes your friends will either hold you accountable or they'll ask you like hey, are you? You're good bro, your friends do the same Same.
Speaker 1:Like I had an experience actually with an associate earlier today and like she saw me and she and she said it. She was like, yeah, I see you. And that was like whoa, and it was a good, I see you. But those moments where you're like, okay, I'm showing up authentically, like me, and people are feeling it.
Speaker 2:I remember it was years ago when I was in leadership I had the are you doing good? You all right, and I'm like, yeah, I'm cool. And then when they kept asking me on different days and different people, I'm like I must not be doing as good as I think I am.
Speaker 1:Because you don't know People, you think you're showing up a certain way and that's good. But other people can serve as like a barometer, especially if you trust them. You might not be thinking you showing up how you think you showing up.
Speaker 2:Because I was in leadership. I'm taking care of everybody else. I'm making sure people their family's good, they got time off. I'm making sure the caseload is not getting too heavy. I'm making sure people their family's good, they got time off. I'm making sure the caseload is not getting too heavy. I'm trying to make sure my family's good wife is good family. I'm doing everything for everybody else.
Speaker 1:And when they kept asking me, I'm like I must not be doing that good, what do I look like? Did you then step back and then say ask them like why they were asking you that?
Speaker 2:I didn't ask them that, I just figured, like you know what I got to give myself some more support and I had also, you know, like I was eating good. But I think some of that eating was coping with daily stressors.
Speaker 1:Oh, you mean eating good, like eating good. Yeah, you know what I'm saying I was like low.
Speaker 2:I was almost 30 pounds heavier. Oh wow, you know what you saying.
Speaker 1:I was like low, I was almost 30 pounds heavier. Oh wow, you know what you were and you trimmed down a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I just thought about it, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not even realizing like it was a doctor and doctors usually don't say this but I was just having like random pains and aches and he was like, yeah, you kind of are a little overweight. And I don't even know if he said it like that. He was more direct. I was like, oh, okay, and I didn't. I'm like damn I am Because nobody had said that. Right, and I still was pretty like I still looked good.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Dressed well and all of that. But once I started to really focus on my physical health and mental health in a different way, I was like, oh snap, I'm feeling better now, that combo is important and people ignore it.
Speaker 1:Both of them play a factor. But I always say if you're not mentally there, it's going to be hard for you to push yourself physically. It'll show up in aches or being tired all the time. Yeah, always needing a nap.
Speaker 2:You need a nap after a nap. So for you, V, because I know you've been vocal about taking some breaks, not burning out, Like what were some of the signs that, hey, I need to slow down.
Speaker 1:Short temper.
Speaker 2:So my boy was catching that. That's what that means Listen, yeah.
Speaker 1:Alfred, sorry to your brother, sorry. And then like just not feeling like me, not really been able to sleep and not being able to do the things I normally would be able to push through and do, and I was like, oh, shoot something ain't right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's one thing too about like high performers, high achievers we can juggle a whole lot for a long time and then it's almost like, at some point it's just like I can't, I can't do it no more. That that's not good. You're like what You're like? Wait, I was doing eight things before. Now I'm struggling to do two. But I was doing eight. Now I can only do one barely.
Speaker 1:That's exactly how it felt and it was almost like a switch, like one week I had it and then the next week it was like I can't. I literally cannot do it anymore.
Speaker 2:Because I look at you in the same light. So like when I think about basketball players, those great players that just go, go, go, and then they like, yeah, I'm about to retire.
Speaker 1:It almost happened, I was like I can't do this, I'm going to have to shut it down. But yeah, that was my biggest clue.
Speaker 2:What was the decision process like for you to kind of really shut it down, slow it down? What was that?
Speaker 1:That was hard because I was juggling with like feeling like I was a failure, because I couldn't do it. So I had to tap back in with my therapist and my therapist really helped me realize that like just because I'm a high performer and I'm not able to do it all the time, I'm not supposed to. She also kept reiterating she's like you realize you're doing a lot. You literally have two full-time jobs and that's just your work, but that's not accounting for the fact that your wife, like your daughter, sister, all these different things she's like you're really doing a lot.
Speaker 2:So it's like normal for you to feel this way, but you need to kind of reel it in what's the term too, because I know you, you and Alfred just had a huge loss with Coco. What's the term when you're a dog parent? What's that term?
Speaker 1:Fur baby, you're a fur mom, right, yeah, I'm a fur mom.
Speaker 2:So that's something too. You were juggling.
Speaker 1:And people don't understand.
Speaker 2:That's a lot.
Speaker 1:Still dealing with that. She is on my phone right now as my screensaver. It's a lot dealing with that, because people don't honor that either To most people and I get it like they're just dogs, so it's like you just keep on going. But Chanel, coco Chanel, was our baby, so yeah.
Speaker 2:So I remember I used to work in hospice. First out of grad school I started working in hospice and we would lead grief support groups we would do they had one for like losses of any family member or a loved one, and then there was one specific to spouses. But what I remember was when people would go around and share how they were doing and what was going on with them when they had a loss of a pet. It was almost like hold on, let's make sure you good, because we know just how important your pet is a fur, dog or cat, whatever is for you.
Speaker 2:And that's when I was like I didn't have it, like we didn't have Snoop at the time. Um, because you know Snoop, he's, he's the person now, he's the person right like Snoop, he like at a party, yeah. So I understood. I understood then the gravity when people they had maybe lost a spouse of 50, 60 years sometimes, and then when they lost their pet, they were like, hey, how are you doing Right? So that's what let me know early on, like, okay, we can't like weight these losses differently.
Speaker 1:Right, right, then we've been taking time. I've been really gentle with myself with that, because I am, as you know. I'm kind of like, okay, we deal with it and we move on. This season has forced me to slow it down, so I'm slow with things now. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I know, when I lost my grandmother and then, less than two years, my mom, I was like, okay, at first lost my grandmother and we were close, really close, but then when I lost my mom, I'm like, oh snap, like I got to slow down and get in with my therapist or get a therapist, because sometimes just finding a person is tough. Yeah, that can be an issue too. So I remember that, you know, and it takes a while too to recover from those losses.
Speaker 1:So what would you say? Your, how did you kind of not, how did you cope with it, with the loss of your, like your mom?
Speaker 2:in particular and still coping with it. Yeah, I mean, it's different. Honoring her, I think, one thing that does help not to keep doing, but the fact that I am about to finish my degree. That's something she kind of mentioned like, yeah, you should get your doctorate, your PhD. I'm like you get a PhD, you know, but now it feels different being able to get this, have this accolade and honor in memory of her Other things, you know. Having a daughter who she favors too, that's something that I enjoy, like looking at my daughter and spending time with her. What else do I do? It's different in each holiday or occasion. How I honor her is different. And then just really talking, like sharing, like this, and checking in with other people who've had losses, and living for each moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think people underestimate like talking and they think keeping it inside and not sharing.
Speaker 2:And thank you for asking too.
Speaker 1:Of course, yeah, you know you know I'm a check in you know I'm a check in, but talking about it and being open and authentic about.
Speaker 2:It is like important too. So I guess it's kind of similar, like it's different. But for men talking about our mental health or our emotions if we even use that word emotions, feelings that can be taboo Sometimes for women in leadership positions, positions especially in the job or on the job, y'all can't keep it, kind of keep a close hold too.
Speaker 1:I actually had a moment. I haven't talked about this on like to really anybody outside of Alfred. He was there recently, maybe a couple weeks ago. I had a photo shoot, um, for our skirts. So we uh re-released our skirts, our wrap skirts, and the photographer or not photographer, but the agency owner, the model agency owner was there and we just built a really good rapport with each other, a good relationship so far. And when I walked up to her she was like she gave me a hug and she was like what's wrong? And she was like I see you and Jason, I like the tears fell because I was overwhelmed. I had a rough week at work. I was in the middle of trying to relaunch these rap skirts and I didn't really felt like I had enough time to really get the shoot, like from the creative direction perspective together. The location was kind of like not my favorite, it was just a lot. And then, like honestly, it was just a lot. So when she said that she saw me and she was like what's wrong, I was like lost it.
Speaker 2:So I think, yeah, I mean I'm glad that you had that space, because kind of circling back like entrepreneurship is hard on your mental health.
Speaker 1:And that's what I meant to say.
Speaker 1:to wrap it up, my bad I lost my train of thought because I went back to the moment, but kind of like on the job. I think as a leader, you have to I think it's helpful to be vulnerable and to be real. So in that moment, instead of like hiding it, I felt I was low key, embarrassed, but at the same time I was like you know, it's OK, I am overwhelmed and it is OK to show that Now we honor it and move forward, unpack it later and keep moving and even at my nine to five, like with my team, I show emotion, I'll tell them like, hey, I don't today, I don't have it today.
Speaker 2:So if I say something short, that takes courage. I used to close my door and like, look, I'm just.
Speaker 1:I ain't got it today, yeah.
Speaker 2:If somebody's listening, they've been on the fence about getting help. What would you? How would you encourage them, or what words would you have for that person?
Speaker 1:You owe it to yourself to honor yourself and to advocate for yourself and to take care of yourself. You only get this one body, this one brain, this one being right, and you owe it to yourself to show up for yourself and get the help that you need. So it's hard and it can be hard to really admit. It can feel like you're weak, that you need to get help, but it's not where life is hard, especially right now To me. I think normalizing that, like if you don't have a therapist, I might be looking at you like how you, how you coping with all this and you ain't got no therapist.
Speaker 2:Oh, as always, v. This is good. We're going to keep it going. Yeah, absolutely Anytime. All right, y'all Peace. Thanks for tuning in to the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. If today's episode brought you clarity, encouragement or even a moment of calm, share it with someone who needs to hear it too. Your support helps us keep these conversations going. And remember you don't have to do it all alone. If you're navigating stress, burnout or just need a space to reset, I'm here to support you. Connect with me at jasonlphillipscom, or send me a message on social media SintLPhillipscom. Or send me a message on social media. Until next time, protect your peace, pursue your purpose and keep showing up for you. Be blessed.