Why Success Feels So Exhausting - Episode #104

The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Dr. Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.

For many high achievers, rest feels unproductive—and that's exactly why burnout often goes unnoticed. In this episode, Dr. Jason Phillips, licensed therapist and confidence coach, explores the five hidden reasons successful people struggle to slow down, including tying your identity to productivity, feeling uncomfortable with rest, overextending yourself, losing touch with what brings you joy, and believing that slowing down will cost you everything you've built.

If you're constantly exhausted despite your success, this conversation will help you understand why—and how to begin protecting your peace without sacrificing your goals.Plus, remember to join our podcast community—like, share, subscribe, and let us know what topics you want us to cover next. Engage with us, send a DM, or leave a review. Let's continue this journey towards peace and prosperity together.

To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jphillipsmsw/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jphillipsmsw

Visit Jason's website for a consultation:

Website -https://www.jasonlphillips.com

To book Jason to speak to your team or organization:

https://peaceprosperitycoaching.hbportal.co/public/660d8068c9d2d600253b215b/1-Inquiry

Transcript

When Rest Feels Uncomfortable

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So, if rest feels uncomfortable for you, you may need to think where are you resting at? Do you need to schedule a massage? Do you need to get out of your house so you can turn your brain off? Think about that.

Welcome And The Big Question

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome to the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Jason Phillips, licensed therapist and confidence coach for High Achievers. Here we talk about mental health, burnout, relationships, and building success without losing your peace. Let's get into today's episode. Welcome to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Jason Phillips, licensed therapist, confidence expert. And today we are going to be diving into why high achievers like yourself struggle to slow down. We're going to break this down in a couple of reasons. We're going to talk about five specific reasons that you struggle with slowing down. And then what do you do? So the first reason, well, first let me before I jump into the reasons, ask yourself have you been someone who has struggled to slow down? I know as a high achievement myself, this is something that I have had to constantly work on throughout my life when I take a step back. There have been times where in my personal life I've been super busy, in my professional life, I've been super busy. And then it's real crazy when in both aspects of the life it's super busy, super busy. So when I talk to you all about this, it's not just from professional experience, it's from personal experience as well. So you're like, okay, Jason, what are these reasons?

Productivity As Identity

SPEAKER_00 1:57

The first one, your identity is tied to your productivity. If you slow down, that means you may not know who you are because you are so used to producing. The word yes has been ingrained in your vocabulary. So to actually pause and rest, it's like, wait, well, what am I supposed to do? Now you may see like the Kobe pictures behind me for those who are watching on YouTube. But I remember Kobe was asked in one of his interviews, it may have been like game two of the finals or something like that. It was either the Western Conference Finals or the NBA Finals. They said, Hey, are you gonna rest now? Are you happy? He said, No, there's still more work to be done. Because he was about winning and producing. And you likely can relate to that. It's like if you slow down, you don't know who you are without being able to produce. And this is not just in your work life, but probably in your personal life too. You're that person who gets things done. People rely on you, they call you for help and you show up. So you're dependable, you're responsible, but you're probably exhausted too. So we'll get to that. And if you do take that pause, it may feel like you may lose yourself. I know when I work with workaholics, they will have all types of PTO. Like sometimes they they lose it. Why? Because they don't know how to rest. So they're like, oh, I'll roll it over, and sometimes it doesn't roll. So now you have lost time off because you have been so committed to just producing. And sometimes you produce it for somebody else, not even yourself. But that's a whole nother conversation.

Rest Requires A New Environment

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Second reason why you struggle to slow down is because rest for you, it feels uncomfortable. It's not relaxing. Now, the the key here is to identify if you take a day off and you are still busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, you're busy cleaning up the house, you're busy organizing, you're busy just doing something. That's not because you didn't have the time. So we can't say it's not because I don't have time to rest. No, what did you do with that time? The trick here, often, at least for me, I'll say this works, is to change your environment. Like for me, the best place for me to rest is on vacation, likely at a pool, a beach, just somewhere where I'm not thinking about what I have to do at home. I'm not thinking about what emails need to be responded to. That will often shift things up. So I talk a lot about, you know, the thoughts we have and the feelings and how they enter, they impact our behavior. But another piece that we often forget is how our environment can shape all of those things too. When you go to the gym, what are you more likely to do? Work out. You go to the library, what are you gonna do? You're probably gonna read. When you go to the beach, some of like my wife, she'll fall asleep. I might fall asleep, but I'm definitely gonna just chillax and my body will just rest because the ocean, the water, all of these things just force me in a state of bliss. So if rest feels uncomfortable for you, you may need to think where are you resting at? Do you need to schedule a massage? Do you need to get out of your house so you can turn your brain off? Think about that.

Burnout Support For Organizations

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Most workplaces say they care about well-being, but their teams are still burned out, overwhelmed, and running on empty. If your organization is trying to support high performers without sacrificing their mental health, this is exactly the conversation we need to have. I'm Dr. Jason Phillips, therapist and speaker, and I help organizations address burnout, build confidence, and create cultures where people can perform at a high level without losing themselves in the process. So if you're planning a conference, leadership event, or training, visit jasonlphillips.com to learn more about bringing this conversation to your organization.

Stop Chasing Praise For Overdoing

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Alright, let's get back to the episode. So whether it was your your workplace, whether it was at home, by you just doing the most, they're like, Oh, you're so great, mom, you always come through. Or babe, you got that done for me. I appreciate you. Your boss is saying, hey, you really nailed that last report. Can you do this next one? You're like, oh my gosh, when will I get a break? Well, you won't until you advocate for yourself and stop looking at all of these rewards for being great to other people and start thinking about how can I be a great person to myself? What does that truly look like? As opposed to looking at all these kudos I'm getting because I'm overextending myself. Now. So, all right, just to recap, we said number one, the reason why you struggle with slowing down your identity is tied to your productivity. Number two, rest feels uncomfortable. When you're not just doing something, you're like, what do I what do I do? Number three, you've been rewarded for overextending yourself.

You Forgot What You Enjoy

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Number four, you don't know what to do when you actually do rest. Now, what do I mean by that? You you're not sure what you enjoy anymore, what your hobbies are, uh, what you love, whether it be a restaurant, what music you like, what concerts. Why? Because it's been that long since you have truly prioritized rest. Now, don't blame anybody else. You have got to take accountability for this. These are your interests, these are your loves, this is your personality, things that you like to do, your hobbies. But when you don't know what these things are, you will avoid it. Because sometimes change is uncomfortable, and you're like, well, let me just get to work. This is what I know I can do and I can do it well. But how is that truly working out for you? All right. Now, this last one, it may hit a little bit.

The Fear That Slowing Costs Everything

SPEAKER_00 9:08

You may be under the idea or impression that slowing down is gonna cost you everything. All the things you work for, all the titles, all the accolades, all the praise. You're like, well, I can't take a day off, or I can't do this with my family, or I can't. It's like you have put all these barriers, mental roadblocks into your mind that you refuse to give yourself a break. So here's the reality it's not that you have a time management problem. Sometimes we say, Oh, I don't have enough time. It's that you have a rest problem, it's hard for you to do it, and you haven't really cracked the code on that. As always, y'all, go back, listen to the episode because you may have missed something, you may have been multitasking while you're listening right now. But I want you to catch this.

Rest Problem Not Time Problem

SPEAKER_00 10:08

If you're a high achiever, you're struggling to slow down, it's starting to really cost you. I want you to also come to the next workshop that I have because we're gonna break down all this and more why you are winning publicly but still drained privately. As always, y'all, be blessed. Peace.

Workshop Invite And Closing

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Thank you for tuning in to the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who could benefit from it and make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode. And if you're looking for support, coaching, or a speaker for your organization to help you create more peace and prosperity, feel free to reach out. Until next time, protect your peace and keep showing up for yourself. God bless.