I Need Blue

Doug: A Navy Veteran’s Journey of Surviving Suicide, Mental Health Advocacy, and Hope

• Jennifer Lee/Doug Brinker • Season 4 • Episode 19

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Doug's inspiring journey highlights overcoming childhood bullying, finding purpose through sports, and serving in the Navy despite a near-drowning experience. After leaving the military in 1984, he battled depression, failed relationships, and two suicide attempts. Seeking direction, he re-enlisted, deployed to Iraq in 2004, survived an ambush and a life-threatening infection, and was later medically retired. Feeling abandoned, he turned to veteran advocacy, mental health awareness, and mentoring through organizations like Toastmasters and the VFW. 

In this episode, Doug emphasizes that suicide is a temporary escape from pain and urges those struggling to seek support, coping strategies, and community. His mission continues through Beacon for Hope, promoting daily acts of kindness and suicide prevention. He shares life lessons on resilience, mental health, and finding purpose through his upcoming book and speaking engagements.

Connect with Doug: 

Linkedin: 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/douglasbrinker-inspirationalspeaker/

Beacon 4 Hope LLC Website: 

https://douglasbrinker.com/

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/Beacon4Hope2024

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/Beacon4Hope/

Connect with Jen:

I Need Blue  now has a new home at The Healing in Sharing! Visit thehealinginsharing.com  to explore Round Chair Conversations, all relevant I Need Blue content, and ways to support the mission of sharing stories that inspire hope and resilience.

By sharing the hidden lines of our stories, we remind each other we are not alone — together, we step out of hiding and into healing. 

Instagram: @ineedbluepodcast
YouTube:     https://www.youtube.com/@ineedblue

Apple Podcasts: Listen & Subscribe
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheHealingInSharing11

Memoir: Why I Survived, by Jennifer Lee on Amazon

The background music is written, performed and produced exclusively by Char Good.
https://chargood.com/home

Support the show

Speaker 1:

Everyone has a story. They just don't always have a place to share it. Welcome to I Need Blue, the podcast about to take you on an extraordinary journey where profound narratives come to life, one captivating episode at a time. I'm your host, jennifer Lee, and I founded this podcast because I know there is healing and sharing. Each story you will hear shared on this podcast is a testament to our collective strength, innate ability to transform in the incredible power of healing. Please remember you are never alone. Please visit and share my website with those seeking connection and inspiration wwwineedbluenet. Thank you, char Good, for composing and performing the introduction medley for I Need Blue. You can find information about Char on her website, wwwchargoodcom.

Speaker 1:

Before starting today's episode, I must provide a trigger warning. I Need Blue features graphic themes, including, but not limited to, violence, abuse and murder, and may not be suitable for all listeners. Please take care of yourself and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Now let's get started with today's story. Douglas Brinker is the inspiring founder of Beacon for Hope LLC, where hope stands for helping one person every day. His mission is deeply personal, born from a life marked by profound trials and remarkable resilience, a proud Navy veteran and a two-time suicide survivor, douglas, is here to share his journey.

Speaker 1:

His story begins in childhood where, at age eight, he was raised in a Catholic children's home. He experienced moments of isolation and near tragedy, including a haunting memory of almost drowning, including a haunting memory of almost drowning. Later, as a young man, he served in Iraq, a chapter that added weight to an already heavy heart. After 36 and a half years of personal struggles, he felt utterly broken. In his own words, I was just taking up oxygen words. I was just taking up oxygen. Despair consumed him, leading to his first suicide attempt. Despite surviving, the emotional pain and feelings of hopelessness continued and two years later he tried again. For Doug, hope seemed impossible until he discovered its true meaning. Seemed impossible until he discovered its true meaning. He uncovered a purpose through his pain healing, inspiring and bringing light to others walking through the darkness. Now, as an inspirational speaker and advocate, doug shares his story to remind us all that even in the deepest despair, there is a potential for redemption, healing and hope. Doug, thank you for being my guest today and welcome to the I Need Blue podcast.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for having me. It's an honor.

Speaker 1:

Of course no, it's an honor to have you here and, first off, thank you for your service.

Speaker 2:

Welcome, Still serve just a different uniform.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, and we appreciate all that you do. As a military mom, I can't imagine what it was like, but nonetheless I truly appreciate you and I know I'm not alone in that. Let's go ahead and get started. In the introduction we talked about your childhood and we kind of began at age eight, and if that's where you would like to start again, we can. Or if there was something earlier on you wanted to share, that's fine too.

Speaker 2:

This is your story and we're going to share it how you would it really goes back, living with my adoptive grandparents until my grandma passed away when I was six years old, and then my adoptive grandfather took care of me issues that I have no knowledge of. I was placed in St Joe's Home for Children in Jackson, michigan, at eight years old and from there I would be raised by Catholic nuns and other Catholic administrators. I went to public school, which was just five minutes or so walking distance from the home, but while in the home, because it was a mix of different children of different ages, I experienced a variety of types of bullying and hazing. You know, obviously, being the younger, some high schoolers may the seniors and juniors may do goofy things to the underclassmen, and at about 10 years old, while in the pool, one of the older children attempted to drown me and from there it was a battle In the school I went to.

Speaker 2:

I was bullied from different types of forms of bullying, just never a sense of good direction. My grandfather would come to get me every weekend or every other weekend, and I would spend the weekends with him. And if I wasn't spending them with him, my day worker. So all the children were assigned a day worker and my day worker, greg Kerfman, took me with his wife, took me to their home and entertained me for the weekend.

Speaker 2:

It's interesting that after I left the home at 13, fast forward to 15 or so years ago him and I actually reconnected, because he goes to the same church.

Speaker 1:

Wow. Do you go to that same church then where you were at eight years old?

Speaker 2:

No, this is a church that I go to now. He goes there and we've reconnected after. You know me being just a teenager to being an older adult.

Speaker 2:

Describe that moment when you realized who each other were and wow, here we are In the book that I'm publishing, my Dark Shadow from a Suicidal Self to a Purpose of Hope, that comes out this year. In that chapter that I have in my book about being in the home, I give him credit in there because he was one of my early mentors in life. I really never realized it with him that very first meeting and told him how much I valued and appreciated him being in part of my life, Because I believe that God put certain people in my life at certain times of my life for certain reasons.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely agree. They say things come back around, and I love that you had the opportunity to say thank you to him because it's probably been on your heart for so many years and I have to imagine he was just overwhelmed.

Speaker 2:

You know I think about it. It's that full circle, because you never know I mean there's over 300 million people in this world and what's the chances of running into somebody Kind of like military you know unless you have these reunions, like I'm now part of in the Navy, where we connect every two years. That first connection, the same thing Six years ago, seeing shipmates I hadn't seen in 40 years. It's just really enlightening and very heartfelt to have people come back around.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, and it's a reminder of how you've grown as well. Awesome, I love that. So we're back into our teenage years, which are not always the easiest anyway, right, right. What was that like for you?

Speaker 2:

So I transferred from one school to another because my mom and stepdad had moved into a different school district, so I was the outsider. So during the move turpentine had gotten accidentally spilt on some of my clothes and I was actually sent to school the first day with multiple, multiple attempts to wash that stench of turpentine out of my clothing. I was still sent to school with those clothes. You know, I have a horrible memory in a lot of areas, but something like that I can remember sitting in the principal's office and people walking by and like what's that smell, and so that was embarrassing, because here I'm a new kid in a new school environment and I'm already setting a bad first impression, which wasn't my fault. So it was really hard, you know, because many of us want to feel accepted. I mean, it did, you know, obviously panned out.

Speaker 2:

I went on to finish middle school and go to Grasslake High School and played sports. I ran track, I played football baseball. I played football baseball. I was on the first ever state championship baseball team in 1980. So I am in the history books. At Grass Lake High School we played football and even though I was then 6'2 and about 155 pounds and took quite a beating from the more aggressive players. After graduation I attempted to go to Eastern Michigan but while visiting the counselors, basically, in a nutshell, told me that I would not succeed the first semester because I hadn't prepared for college. So I then decided I'm going to join the military and maybe the military would then pay for college. And I went into the Navy, went to Great Lakes, Illinois boot camp in the fall of 1981, which, if you don't like cold and snow, I wouldn't recommend travel vacations in Chicago in the fall.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I'm very aware of what that is like. I agree, you know. I have a curiosity question is to go from somebody who was almost drowned right in water and then you chose to go into the Navy, which is water like very interesting.

Speaker 2:

Tell me about that yeah, so I believe I was six or seven, I received for Christmas. I received a little sailor suit. So it's really ironic to nearly being drowned a few years later and then, eight years later, joining the Navy and going on a ship where there's lots of water. So yeah, I don't know why I did that. I guess I probably wanted to see the world. I was hoping, maybe, for a career in the Navy. Unfortunately that didn't happen.

Speaker 2:

So everybody has a job in the military and my job was what they call a bosun's mate or a deck ape. That's the person that helps drive the ship, helps paint the ship, helps tie the ship up and all the other janitorial operations of the ship. We're the janitors of the ship. I remember, you know, in November of 82, going to Beirut, lebanon, for the multi-peacekeeping mission. We had to go through the North Atlantic. I helped steer that ship through 40-foot waves, 20-foot swells and 45-degree rolls side to side. For two days. The ship wasn't allowed to go more than one-half a degree either side. Off course you would barrel, roll and become part of Davy Jones' locker.

Speaker 1:

Wow, Well, obviously you made it through that right. I can't imagine Did you get seasick?

Speaker 2:

No, I never did. The first time out, when we came back in and I went to the bowling alley and you're holding the ball right here the bowling alley felt like it was actually in the water, but that was really it for me.

Speaker 1:

So almost like vertigo by the time you got back on land.

Speaker 2:

Yes, oh yeah. Not so much for my other shipmates. You know that came on board later, they didn't fare so well.

Speaker 1:

Oh, it's not a good feeling. I love that you're sharing your memories what I can remember of and people were like what is that smell? Like? You remember the embarrassment, you remember all those emotions, and so those emotions tend to to pile up. Uh, you know, especially as a child and as a teenager, you don't know how to process them. So this led to you deciding you know, I'm, I'm just taking a box of gin, I don't have a purpose, it's time to go. Can you tell us about that moment?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I, you know, once I got out of Navy in November of 1984, I came home and for the next 15 years I just did what I call in the chapter of my book the minimum wage guy, Because A I never pursued the Navy paying for college, so I became just a minimum wage guy, you know, making that $3, $3.35, $3.50, $3.75 an hour and going through all kinds of different short, broken relationship with girlfriends and I was just existing. That's really how I felt. It was, you know, just a culmination of many things. You know, the very early years to my teenage years, to those early adult years that I just I got tired of rejection and that's what many of us, or most of us, don't feel comfortable with is being rejected If you come from a dysfunctional family or you come from no family, like I did. Really, I mean, I love my siblings that I have. We never grew up together. You know the siblings that are my half siblings. I only spent four total years with them. Or many families get the opportunity to have that. 18 years together. Like I said, the dead-end jobs, the broken, short relationships. I never felt accepted. You know, I was 36.

Speaker 2:

August 7th 1999, I entered the darkest part of the bar and with me I took all of my depressive medications that I was on because I was in dark depression for a couple of years prior and pitchers of beer and hard drinks. And my best friend, Don Tracy. If he wouldn't have found me and got me to the ER where they had to fill my stomach with liquid charcoal and pump it for over two hours, this conversation obviously would not be happening. And then I got out. After three and a half weeks of being locked in the mental health unit, I got out and came to where I actually work now today circle.

Speaker 2:

But the story doesn't end there, because it was all about me. It was all about my timeline, not anybody else's, and I decided when I wanted to go to therapy. I decided when I wanted to take my meds, and so I played that game and, sadly, February of 2001, a second attempt occurred, this time by a different method. Really, my darkest years were from around 1996, when my first wife and I separated, to 2002. And I needed discipline back in my life. So I went back into the military to get that.

Speaker 1:

How long were you in the Navy then?

Speaker 2:

18 to 21,. Three years, you know. We did get to go to international ports of liberty. I got the freedom to go to Rome, go to Italy and set two pews from the pulpit and listen to the late Pope John Paul give mass, the pulpit and listen to the late Pope John Paul give mass. And I had the opportunity to go to Mombasa, africa, the Maldive Islands, which, if you don't know nothing about, look them up now. It wasn't like that when I was there. But look up the Maldive Islands in the Republic of Mali there, but look up the Maldive Islands in the Republic of Mali, m-a-l-e and see how nice that place is.

Speaker 2:

I've had the opportunity to see and experience a lot of turmoil but also a lot of value of the international communities. They say join the Navy, see the world. It's a truth. But it wasn't until I went back into the Michigan Army National Guard and deployed to Iraq in the spring of 2004 as a truck driver that I saw doom and gloom. While there that I saw doom and gloom. While there, every day, we drove by probably a 30 acre dump site, because in Iraq they dump their trash and then burn it openly and they don't have landfills. They burn it and in that first time, just outside of Baghdad, I witnessed little huts and children and dogs running around like it was a community. That is where the poorest of poorest of poorest Iraqis live is in those garbage dump sites.

Speaker 1:

I can't imagine, in knowing the United States and growing up in a home, how do you process that?

Speaker 2:

It reminds me of the freedoms that America has. And while we have so many homeless veterans, while we have so many homeless individuals, in my opinion there's no one in this country that is homeless that's suffering more than those living in those dump sites, feeding off the trash that is dumped.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's unimaginable. If I was there, I would be like, oh my gosh, I just want to help all of them, you know, but yet you're helpless, right.

Speaker 2:

You're helpless and you know there's different parts. There's the Christian sector of Iraq, and then every day when we left our compound we traveled out the gates and in the fields, at 6 am were the wives in their black garb working the fields. And they worked those fields 12 hours a day, seven days a week, and it was an average of 110 to 140 degrees every day. Of course it's a very dry heat, but it's still the point. Could you imagine, in the hottest days here in America, putting all black on and having to stand outside in that heat for 12 hours working?

Speaker 1:

No, that's like a clip you would see in a movie.

Speaker 2:

Because I believe that and I've heard that the Iraqi husbands they have more value and appreciation for their dog than they do their wives.

Speaker 1:

And it sounds like you witnessed that. Wow, what is one other memory that you took away from Iraq where you were like, oh, that that maybe even played into later in life, where you were like, yeah, I can't process this.

Speaker 2:

We left the gate to take supplies to camps around Iraq and on one occasion we came under an ambush and rounds were fired towards my truck. After we got to a safe place, inspecting the truck, I noticed that there was rounds in my connex box, five foot from my door. And yes, we had a half inch piece of plexiglass on our door which we never knew was bulletproof or not. But I think about it with the near drowning and the near potential of sinking a ship in the Atlantic Ocean. And my two attempts, and now being in Iraq which was for my truck for the next mission prepared to get out of bunk and I stood up and I fell over. The bunk is approximately five foot, I'm 6'4", so I just contributed that to tall guy, short bunk, blood circulation cut off. But after I collected myself and stood up again and fell over again, I thought, hmm, something's wrong here and I never bothered to look down at my legs, thought it was internal. It was internal all right. When I went to sick call, the sergeant at the desk checked my temp. It was 104. Well, 104 in Iraq is normal temp, because it's 105 degrees.

Speaker 2:

At 8 o'clock in the morning they got me into the exam room and the colonel and his team came in and had me drop my trousers. And when I dropped my trousers he was like I was what, sir? He said Sergeant, have you even looked at your legs this morning? I said no, sir. He said you might want to consider looking at them right now. And when I looked down, my left leg, from my knee to my ankle, was as red as the recording thing right now going. You could feel the heat this far off my leg radiating, and they took measurements. My leg diameter was 18.6 inches, my ankle was 10.5 inches. So they admitted me automatic you know emergency into the field cache. They gave me the strongest antibiotics on the market and they put it in a bag and shook it up like a drink to administer, and it's supposed to work within 24 hours. However, mom gave me too many antibiotics when I was little, and so I have immune deficiency disorder against antibiotics where they don't work as fast as they're supposed to. So from there I was in the cache for three days.

Speaker 2:

Then they put me on the flight line to get me out of the country, and the night before I was due to depart to Landstuhl Hospital in Germany, my blood pressure dropped to 86 over 54. The flight major was very concerned because a C-130 is not equipped for emergency situations. It's an ambulatory transport. So they put me on the plane on June 3rd and flew me to Ramstein, bused me to Landstuhl. I was there for five days.

Speaker 2:

Every moment when I got out of my hospital bed the blood going to my leg pushed and my leg was stretched to the point that they told me if it would stretch any further which they're very concerned it would begin to tear open, going 20 feet to the restroom. It took me 15 minutes. So I went to Lichtenstein and then they flew me. From there they flew me to Andrews Air Force Base and from Andrews to Scott Air Force Base in Illinois, where I spent five days. And then I was flown to Fort Knox, kentucky, where I spent four and a half months in the medical hold unit and every day I went to the clinic complaining and the colonel finally told me Sergeant, if you come to my clinic with the same complaint, I'm going to write you up. So from there I lived with it and I got medically retired out of the military November 4th of 2004 and sent home here to Jackson, michigan.

Speaker 1:

So was there ever a diagnosis?

Speaker 2:

So I had cellulitis staph infection. The infection came from a scrape on my big toe, from being in my boots and jumping in and out of the truck during ambush attacks. And the bacteria is so bad over there Because, remember, iraqis are allowed to use the bathroom outside in the sand. It's not an illegal custom in Iraq. Plus, you have camels, you have scorpions, you have camel spiders, you have all these other contributing factors to providing bacterias in the sand. So what they believe is that little scrape that we just ignore here in America.

Speaker 2:

That bacteria entered my bloodstream probably about two weeks prior, which would be early May, and started to fester and build. And as it built, the cellulitis infection traveled up my leg, creating my lymph nodes to be this big, starting to travel into my right leg and swell up. And the colonel basically told me that if I would not have went to the clinic then they would have scraped me out of the motor pool, being dead. Because if that infection traveling up would have found a spot through my waistline, I would have had a fatal stroke, a fatal heart attack, a fatal blood clot, or they would have been forced to cut my leg off at my knee to save my life.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh. So, especially knowing all of this now, when that colonel said to you basically stop complaining, how did that make you feel complaining? How did?

Speaker 2:

that make you feel I was going to go to the media. We were ordered anyone that talks to any media without permission from public affairs office will be wrote up. So we were threatened by the senior leadership of the base Because you got to remember, this is all during the times of Walter Reed and the discrepancies at Walter Reed, where returning military were coming home broken and being sent to Walter Reed in a very disgusting environment and we actually had a comrade that had went before Congress and testified and had a senior leader removed and basically sent to Japan on paperwork orders because of the situation. So, yeah, I threatened to go to the media, talk to CNN, talk to all the reporters at the gate that they hung out at that gate entrance hoping to talk to somebody and we were ordered anyone that's on medical hold, that's on medical hold. If you talk without permission, you will be rolled up.

Speaker 1:

So was this another situation where you would consider you were helpless? Yeah, now felt like you don't belong.

Speaker 2:

Yep, my country don't. You know I volunteered. You know I left behind a three and a seven-year-old little boys to volunteer, to go put my life on the line for this country. I wasn't ordered, I volunteered. But I volunteered for a variety of reasons. I volunteered, maybe because I was running from all my past traumas, because I sure wasn't running for the money from all my past traumas, because I sure wasn't running for the money.

Speaker 1:

It wasn't like I was making a million dollars a paycheck to be over there. Right, y'all don't get paid enough I got $50 a month for hazardous pay.

Speaker 2:

$50 a month for getting shot at.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's ridiculous no-transcript.

Speaker 2:

starting 23 years it's been Toastmasters International Communication Leadership Organization. It's been the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the greatest military organization that no one does more for veterans than the VFW. You know, I just spent the weekend with 300 of my closest comrades running a mental health table and giving out over 800 pounds of resource information and listening to some stories where their loved ones took their life by suicide. And that's what I do, all the different involvements of military-focused, veteran-focused groups that I belong to. I do it because not only is it a good coping mechanism for me, but it's a sign that I'm living God's purpose finally. He was trying to show it to me and I was too blind and too ignorant early in life to really see it. I wanted to operate my life on my terms, absolutely, and so many people do that. I wanted to operate my life on my terms, absolutely, and so many people do that.

Speaker 1:

Two questions, and then I want us to have some time to talk about Beacons of Hope. When you were, you know, as you said, the first time, you know, taking the pills and drinking, was there anyone in your head that you were like, oh, they're going to miss me. Nope, I had a feeling. You were like, oh, they're going to miss me.

Speaker 2:

Nope, I had a feeling you were going to say that, and this is what I remember or don't remember I don't remember all those details you know wanted to do was get all the temporary pain gone, because that's really what it comes down to. We want pain to be over quick. We find methods to end the pain quick, picking up a bottle of pills or doing whatever. They always say that, and I believe this that suicide is a measure of erasing something permanently that could have been solved by something else temporarily. To start that hope incline, and I've seen it. I've lost lots of friends, I've lost colleagues, I've lost veterans, and what I found is we hurt so much. Many of us, many of us, have so much hurt inside. We don't know how to get rid of it the fastest.

Speaker 1:

So when you talk to somebody who has tried to commit suicide or somebody who's just so overwhelmed with life say, somebody listening right now that is inspired by your story, but they're just not quite sure where they belong what would you say to them?

Speaker 2:

I would say first, first and foremost, that you really do matter. You matter always. The people around you care about you, even though you may not think they do. I know that what you're going through may seem the hardest ever in your life, but it's only temporary ever in your life, but it's only temporary. And, as for someone that has been through the depths of hell many times, this is why I do what I do. I take the time to listen, because listening many people do not give the person in their immediate crisis enough time listening because we all have something going on and if I can do it, you can do it. To get through it, find support group, find peers, find coping skills that you may not have known you excel at and try to do something Journaling, mindfulness, grounding, going for walks, listening to soothing music. It's okay not to be okay, because people who admit that they're not okay and seek help are actually the strongest people.

Speaker 1:

I would agree, and everything you just said then leads us into beacon for hope.

Speaker 2:

A friend of mine in Toastmasters a few years ago wrote in calligraphy on a note card your God-given purpose is to be a beacon for hope. And she put just in there F-O-R. Creative mind thinking and searching the internet of beacon of hope and not exist. I believe it's been two years now. I took a class for four months with Christy Stocker here in Michigan and her program is to create your sweet life. In that program we had those hard, tearful conversations about finding your sweet spot in life and many, like you said, many.

Speaker 2:

Our society is a stigmatized society. It doesn't talk about certain. We'd rather talk about politics than we talk about people's lives, talk about politics than we talk about people's lives. What I've learned being a member of the Jackson Suicide Coalition, the Northern Michigan Suicide Coalition, the Governor's Challenge Committees, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, as a field advocate, is safe messaging. Is safe messaging getting away from saying committed to saying died by or taken their life by, because we commit sin, we commit adultery, we commit robbery and so, even as a society, even here in the mental health world, the word committed is still being used because we've been ingrained to say it that way.

Speaker 2:

But Beacon for Hope, the hope helping one person every day. A comrade Air Force comrade of a friend of mine, chuck Dodge, who's they call him Mr Enthusiasm because his tagline is there's no way to enthusiasm, enthusiasm is the way, and we collaborated together several years ago to come up with that. That is really what all of us should focus on is giving a little of our time, whatever that is, each day, to helping one person every day. Maybe giving somebody in line, that's short, a quarter, give them a quarter. That's helping one person every day, because you don't know the impact of that help, what that means to that person. It doesn't specifically have to be sitting down for two hours and listening to them share that they want to take their life. Yes, that's the primary reason why Beacon for Hope is around, but it's more for just the listening ear for people.

Speaker 1:

And I don't know about you, but I've found, say, for example, walking through the grocery store, if I just make eye contact and smile at someone, you know it doesn't cost anything, right, and it makes me feel good because I'm smiling and positive and you know. So, yeah, just a simple smile, Absolutely, Doug. Is there anything else you would like to share with my audience before we wrap up?

Speaker 2:

Like I said before, with the book coming out it's 22 chapters of my life. Every chapter will have kind of a little here I was in this part of my life, but at the end of every chapter I've tried to include some form of a quote that ties the information of that chapter. The chapters are very short. The book is 138 pages, easy read. Each chapter has some positive learning nugget from the experience.

Speaker 2:

Obviously, I am available for hire. You can go to Douglas at DouglasBrinkercom. I do have Calendly on my website and you can book me to come in. I can speak for an hour, I can speak for two hours, four hours, all day. If we do it all day or four hours, it's going to be more of an audience interaction workshop, because I want people to take full value away from not just my message, but I want them to take away something valuable that they can use in their life. People are hurting. They may not tell you, but it's knowing the signs, it's knowing when people's behaviors drastically change, and that's what Beacon for Hope and my speaking business wants to do. It isn't just about getting up there telling people I made two attempts on my life and walk off the stage. No, if somebody's actually thinking about it. That's the person I want to, to know that here are some things that work for me, for you to find that works for you, because what works for me may not work for you.

Speaker 1:

And when does the book come out?

Speaker 2:

The book is due out sometime mid to late spring.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing, doug, and thank you for being my guest on the I Need Blue podcast.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much and just remember, you do matter always and it's okay not to be okay.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. I love it and thank you for listening. This is Jen Lee with the I Need Blue podcast. If you want to learn anything and everything about I Need Blue, you can visit my website, wwwineedbluenet. And remember you are stronger than you think. Until next time.

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Jennifer Lee

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