I Need Blue
I turned around to see a masked man pointing a gun at me. It was just the beginning of a series of events, including robbery and abduction, which changed my life forever. I Need Blue, hosted by Jen Lee, is a podcast series featuring lived-experiences from survivors of life events. I NEED BLUE creates space for survivors of trauma to feel they BELONG, are LOVED, UNDERSTOOD and EMPOWERED! I called 9-1-1 and they provided me with life-saving directions to help my customer who was having a medical emergency. Law enforcement rescued us and caught the robber. Our first-responders face unique traumas every day. I NEED BLUE provides space for them too!
I Need Blue
Mika: Her Dad Becomes a Hero, Saving Her from a Murderous Boyfriend
Mika’s story is one of trauma, loss, and resilience. Growing up in a humble immigrant household, she was shaped by responsibility and a strong moral compass, but a violent relationship and the tragic loss of her father changed her life forever. Through grief, guilt, and healing, Mika discovered forgiveness and purpose, now guiding her to create a non-profit educating youth on emotional awareness and healthy relationships. Join us for this heartfelt conversation about recognizing warning signs, prioritizing self-love, and turning pain into advocacy.
Connect with Mika:
Personal Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/k.banks.1?igsh=MXA5cWZzMjRqMmYxdQ==
Business URL:
https://www.instagram.com/aladinsevents?igsh=enlkdzVwczM1eXcz
Connect with Jen:
I Need Blue now has a new home at The Healing in Sharing! Visit thehealinginsharing.com to explore Round Chair Conversations, all relevant I Need Blue content, and ways to support the mission of sharing stories that inspire hope and resilience.
By sharing the hidden lines of our stories, we remind each other we are not alone — together, we step out of hiding and into healing.
Instagram: @ineedbluepodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ineedblue
Apple Podcasts: Listen & Subscribe
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheHealingInSharing11
Memoir: Why I Survived, by Jennifer Lee on Amazon
You never think it will happen to you until it does. One moment. Life is normal, routine, predictable, and then suddenly you're fighting to survive. I'm Jennifer Lee, a survivor author and host of I Need Blue podcast. You belong, are loved, understood and empowered to share. Welcome to season five. Listen to I Need Blue on Apple Podcasts, spotify, youtube or your favorite listening platform. Learn more at wwwineedbluenet. Before we get started, I must share a trigger warning. I Need Blue shares real-life survivor stories, including discussions of trauma, violence and abuse. These conversations are meant to empower, support and let others know they are not alone. Please prioritize your well-being and ask for help if needed. Now let's get started with today's story.
Speaker 1:I unexpectedly met Micah by winning her giveaway at a networking lunch. Among the items was a blue journal. Wanting to express my gratitude, I sent her a thank you email. That simple act of appreciation turned into a conversation that left me speechless. Turned into a conversation that left me speechless.
Speaker 1:As we emailed back and forth, micah shared a glimpse of her past. I've overcome a lot of trauma my ex tried to kill me but my dad died saving me. I've been kidnapped, dragged by a car, shot at and so much more, but I'm here, I'm alive and I share my story because it matters. Then she said something that hit my heart in a way I can't describe. The steps you are taking will touch many women. Please never quit doing this.
Speaker 1:We later met for coffee and our connection deepened. I was drawn to her unwavering faith, her vision of creating a non-profit to help others and her incredible resilience. Despite all she had been through, she carried a light within her that refused to be dimmed. Micah, your story is one the world needs to hear. Thank you for your friendship, your strength and for being my guest on the I Need Blue podcast. Thank you, it's a pleasure, absolutely. Now, with the podcast, I tend to do things in a little bit more of a chronological order, so do you mind kind of taking us into what it was like for you as a child and growing up?
Speaker 2:Yes, my parents are from Haiti. They came here and they started a family. They came here for a better life. I am the second child out of four. I have three brothers and I am the only girl. Growing up we didn't have a lot, but I am raised from love. Watching my parents just come to America and just making things happen and being able to purchase a home was just major for me. My father didn't know how to read and write, so at a very young age I would write the checks for the mortgage. I'll be responsible for going with them to pay FPL bills, comcast bills, whatever it was. So at a very early age I understood bills.
Speaker 2:Growing up, my childhood was wonderful Me and my brothers. We loved to play outside, whether it was football, whether it was racing, riding our bikes, roller skates. I moved to North Miami in 2000. It was a home. My father ended up purchasing a home, so that was something major, coming from an immigrant that did not speak English. From there, it was wonderful. I was closer to more family members. I was raised in a better neighborhood. I went to public schools all my life. But it was wonderful and I love my childhood.
Speaker 2:Honestly, I don't think I'll take anything back from it. It kind of played a role of where I'm at today in life, even though I had big roles as a little girl. I do appreciate my parents for that. I really do Certain things I didn't understand because we would only get like one or two pair of shoes every school year and I always wished I had more. But it was not until my father passed away and I seen the income that he had and the sacrifices that he made for us and he made sure that we had shelter. He made sure that we were well fed and well taken care of. So coming into my adult life, when I was able to see it, I understood more of what my parents had to sacrifice to get us the better life that we have now. So I'm very grateful for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I often describe my childhood as well, as we didn't always have what we want, but we always had what we needed.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that was love.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and you say that with such love.
Speaker 2:Yes, because I come from a stable family where it was not that we were rich or anything, but it was centered around love. And I watched my dad love my mother Like I can't say I ever seen him put his hands on her, mistreat her or anything Like my parents never even went to the movies or went on certain dates because it's something that they're not used to, but I seen them like come together and make it happen for one another and just build a family and build it. It's like building a legacy, because back home they don't have what we have, they don't have the opportunity that we have. So for me it was definitely raised from love.
Speaker 1:And speaking of back home, then have you visited Haiti?
Speaker 2:Yes, so I know I say back home as if I was there, but my parents, you know, originated from there, but I would go every summer for about three months. I love it so much. I haven't been back since 2016 because that's when all the chaos in Haiti started. All the gangs took over the streets. So I haven't been back ever since.
Speaker 1:I bet that's hard to not go back and to know what they're going through.
Speaker 2:By the grace of God, majority of my family has left Haiti and came to the US.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm glad to hear that most of them have been able to come to the United States. Yes, and three brothers. How is that?
Speaker 2:It gave me tough skin. I didn't have anybody to play Barbie dolls with but my imaginary friend, but it gave me tough skin. I just was a tomboy for a very long time until I hit my freshman year of high school. A young lady by the name of Patricia, she moved across the street from us and then she started to style my hair a certain way. So now I became more girly, wanting to get my nails done and, you know, she just shifted me in a way.
Speaker 2:So having a brother, brothers was very nice because they were overprotective of me. My older brother, of course. He went to high school before me. So when I got to high school it was like, yeah, this is my little sister, y'all better not mess with her. And then my little brother, we are very, very close. The two that's under me, we're very close. So I love my brothers, I love them. God did bless me with a cousin. Like one of my cousins came to Vids and she ended up living with us for a few years. That was also when I was in high school, transitioning into, like, my girly phase. So I consider her like my sister as well. But I didn't have a sister at a younger age where we could play with Barbie dolls and you know, do all the fun stuff together. But as I transitioned and I started getting my hair done and my nails done, that was somebody that took me under her wing Like let's go, sister, let's go do this, let's go do that. So God did bless me in my like later on.
Speaker 1:That's awesome At a time when, like you said, that transitioning just as a girl in itself can be very challenging, so love that you had the support there for you.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm so grateful for it.
Speaker 1:So as you're getting older, you're in high school, you know generally there's the whole boyfriend thing, but you also had brothers. How was that?
Speaker 2:My brothers never really stopped me from having a relationship. They were more supportive. They'll get to know whoever it was I was dating at the time. I don't feel like there was a brother that was like, hey, you better leave my sister alone. No, it was more like, hey, okay, what's going on? So I didn't have mean brothers.
Speaker 1:And were you protective of them as they were of you?
Speaker 2:Very, and being the older sister, I remember the school would call me my brothers when they got in trouble, my younger brothers when they got in trouble in school. They would be afraid to call my mom. So they would call me. But little did they know is I'm going to give you discipline as well. So I used to come out to the school. Big sister, stop being bad, you know, embarrass them in front of their friends. But little school big sister, stop being bad, you know, embarrass them in front of their friends.
Speaker 1:But I was always overprotective. I've always been there to support them and help them make better choices in life as well. That's awesome. I think it's great that you have them and they have you. So now in the introduction you have quite the story, and I always say on my podcast that you share what you're comfortable sharing how you're comfortable sharing it, and so I always like to let the guests kind of take the lead. So wherever you would like to start in sharing that journey, we are here to listen.
Speaker 2:Okay, I have definitely endured a lot of trauma and I'm so glad that God has gave me the strength to just keep it moving. I was in a five and a half year relationship where my partner was a very good boyfriend. Like he was a great boyfriend. He put me through the beginning of my college. He brought me my first car. He was always there.
Speaker 2:But everybody had flaws and his flaw was kind of something I should have walked away from as soon as I seen the red flags, but I didn't. So I remember once we had a tiny argument and I was like you know, I'm not going to talk to him for a couple of days. And this man pops up to one of my friend house and he's like oh, come outside. And I'm like how does he even know where I'm at? I'm like you don't even know where I'm at. He was like oh, you think I don't know where you at. And I looked out the window and I seen his car. I told him I was like listen, don't cause any trouble here, leave and I'll meet you at home. So he was like all right, you got five.
Speaker 1:How early on in the relationship did that incident occur?
Speaker 2:Probably after a year and a half I want to say I'm not too sure what the timeline, but that was the first red flag that I did see. And when I went outside to get the car, I was telling my best friend's brother-in-law to move the car out the yard and while he was doing so he came back around the block. And when he came back around the block, he's like back around the block. He's like give me the car, give me the car. And I'm like you're not gonna do this right now. Whatever, and I did not know, he had a gun. The gun ended up falling, but he picked it up and got in the car and left. So that was the first red flag, but I ignore it, being young and dumb, um, so I went back to his home and then I spoke to him. I was like you don't do nothing like that, that's embarrassing. I just put it on a shelf and I kept going in that relationship because he apologized immediately and promised it would happen again.
Speaker 2:It was another time. This is the second red flag that I've got and that I ignored as well. The second time, another incident happened and I was like you know what, I'm going to take a break from him, just not talk to him today. Did I think we was broken up or anything like that? No, so what happened is I got in my car and then I was driving. I see a car behind me and when I look back I'm like oh, that's his mom's car. She had a sign in the front that said blood of Jesus in Creole. So that's how I noticed it was her car. So I pulled over to the side a little bit and he jumps out the car and I'm like why he looks so angry and he started to bang on the window. Pow, pow, pow, pow right. He started to bang on the window and I'm like what's going on? So I drive off. As I'm driving off, I looked at the rear view mirror and I noticed that he had a gun. So the first time he didn't shoot, he dropped a gun. The second time he did shoot. It pierced the back of my car and I kept driving. The gun fell again. So I do believe that was God that was dropping the gun all this time, and God gave me chances.
Speaker 2:But sometimes what we don't realize is that we don't pay attention to the red flags. You know, sometimes we have to look and say you know what this person have anger issue. Let me just walk away. So I was speeding through traffic and I caught the 911 operator and as I'm driving I'm explaining what's going on and I made it to the police station.
Speaker 2:So that day he did get arrested and he was arrested for about, I want to say, two to three months. He was in there for a while and being dumb again, oh my God, I hate to. I really hate to see people in jail because you know you don't get treated good. But at the same time, what I've learned is some people earned jail because of their actions, not able to control their emotions, and that's what I learned later on. So I ended up contacting his lawyer and saying, hey, I would like to drop the charges, and they still made him sit for a month or two months or whatever the time was right. They still made him sit for that amount of time and I believe that the judge was fair because it was like you know what, instead of me, just let him go, let him get a taste of what it's like to be behind bars. When he came back out, we was doing wonderful. Then he ended up doing federal time for something that happened before he even started talking to me. So he was gone for about three and a half years.
Speaker 2:I found out that he was talking to somebody else, so I kept hearing about this person and then I'm like I brought it to his attention Are you talking to this person? And he admitted that he was talking to her. That's why his phone was always under the bed when we went to bed at night. I wanted to leave at that time and I felt like that was a perfect opportunity to leave, but I cared too much about what other people would think. So in my mind I'm like, hmm, if I leave, they're going to say I used him. If I leave, they're going to say that I am using him for his money. I forgave him. He came home. She kept popping up again, so I told him you have one last time.
Speaker 2:I remember one time we went to the bar and while we was at the bar and he was sitting there, his phone begins to ring. So when his phone began to ring, I said who was that calling you? And then, once he realized that the number that he had saved her under was a guy number, he tried to play it off. I said, uh-uh, put on speaker. And she spoke oh, we have each other back, no matter what, and this and that. So I told him to drop me home. He got extremely upset, so he dropped me home.
Speaker 2:That night, I no longer had intercourse with him. I no longer went to certain places with him. I no longer went back to his house. Now this is October 2016.
Speaker 2:So in January of 2017, I decided to go to the park and have a talk with him. So we're talking at a park and his phone was about to die. So we went back to the house. And when we went back to the house, he got a charger. He said hey, my mom wants to see you. And I was like no, it's okay. Like I don't want to go in your house, you know. So when we drive off, one of my friends texts me and I laugh and I'm like oh my gosh, she's so funny. He was like how did you forgive her? But you did not forgive me. And I'm like, because you are my partner and you continue to do the same thing, her, she's a friend.
Speaker 2:That incident was minor, so he got so mad. He was like don't worry, don't worry, I'm tired of this. He was like you treat me unfair. And he was like you know what, if you move on, I'm going to kill you in that N-word. So then I took my phone. I said say it again. Say it again so I can record you. So if anything happens to me, they know exactly who did it. He got extremely quiet. So then I calmed down and I just put my phone on my lap. He took my phone, he threw it out the window.
Speaker 2:So at that time I was starting my last business. I recently took a course and I also was selling waste trainers around that time. So all my vendors and everything was good, and at that age I wasn't good with passwords. So now I get extremely mad. So we start going back and forth in the car and I was like, let me out of the car. He didn't want to let me out. He was driving crazy, he was running into cars, he was running into all type of stuff. So finally I was able to get out the car but I had a backpack on. So he grabbed my backpack and he started to accelerate. So I started to run backwards and I fell on my rear and he pressed the gas and my whole rear was. The skin was off and I almost got ran over by another car. When this happens again, this is another red flag that you're just ignoring. So after that date I decided to not communicate with him. No more, have no dealings with him at all. I went to the hospital. I did not do any reports, which I should have did reports. I let it go. So that was basically the done data. I'm not dealing with this person anymore. He kept trying. Valentine's Day he sent stuff to my mom's house a whole bunch of balloons and teddy bears and chocolate.
Speaker 2:I started dating the father of my child kind of after that incident occurred, but it was private. So when it was finally his birthday, I posted him for the first time. And when I posted him for the first time, my ex-boyfriend went crazy. He was very upset, I believe. I posted him and like 30 minutes later he called me. He was like is that your new in? Let him know, we're going to bump heads. We're going to bump heads and I'm like what? And I was planning my dude at the time's birthday. I was getting a chef together, I had to go prepare a room, I had to do so much stuff.
Speaker 2:The father of my child contacts me. He goes hey, what's up with looking for my address? So he started to ask for his address and a friend notified him. Hey, be careful, because this guy said he's looking for you. At that time I was like you know what I text him and I said, hey, you know, you just got out of jail. It's so much fish is in the sea, do not go messing anything up for something that you did. So, I guess because he couldn't get the address. He just made a U-turn. I was still talking to my friend trying to plan everything, and then I started to hear footsteps and then I hear gunshots. Immediately the Holy Spirit just told me like he's here. So I got up off my bed and I looked and I could see somebody running across, but it didn't make sense to me. So I got up and I went to the living room and my dad was at the door.
Speaker 2:Two weeks prior, my dad changed the doorknobs of the house. I love to share this part of the story just to bring awareness. You know how on the inside you can just lock it, the doorknob. So my dad changed it from you need the key on the inside and a key on the outside. So I told my father. I said, dad, I don't think that was a good idea, but my dad had his way, where it's like oh, you don't know, no better, you're just a child. And my dad carried a lot of keys. He had multiple cars and he had properties in Haiti and he had a ring with a whole bunch of keys.
Speaker 2:So my dad looks at me. He goes, oh, it's here the guy. My ex-boyfriend is here. So he's looking for the key. And as I'm looking because everything has happened so fast as I'm looking, he ran this way and I see him coming into the gate and shooting again. Mind you, he was shooting my friend. I didn't know he was shooting at him. My dad is like run, he locked the door. I ran and as I'm turning to close the door, I see they're tussling.
Speaker 2:Instead of going into my room, which was immediately on the left, I went straight down to my brother's room because he wouldn't know exactly where I am. So I went into my brother's closet and I threw some sheets over me. When I threw the sheet over me, I was on the phone with the operator. Yeah, this is what's going on. This is my address. I shared all the information and I hear him tussling with my father. I seen him first, but he was still. You could hear things falling. And I told him he's. I heard a gunshot, like one more gunshot, pow, and I'm like I think he shot my dad. I think he shot my dad and I hear everything falling. So then I'm like he's going to get me next, he's going to get. I started hanging. I hung up the phone. So when I hung up the phone, I immediately got scared.
Speaker 2:And then I had a cousin that was visiting me from Haiti, from my dad's side. She was visiting, so I heard the bathroom door open. When it opened, I thought it was him going door for door looking for me. So I got more scared. I became more afraid. She discovered him on the floor right. So when she discovered him on the floor, she started to scream, which in Creole means uncle, uncle. So as she's screaming, uncle, uncle, I'm like, oh my God, he's about to kill her. So I start to do a countdown. So I'm like five, four, three, two, one.
Speaker 2:And it wasn't until recently that I realized that God was with me at that time, because I was like what made me count down? Like I've never been through this situation before. I wasn't trained for this situation. So I was like what made me count from five? I was like five, four, three, two, one. And when I ran out I seen her like jumping around and I seen him laying on the ground. So then when I ran to him, I seen his dentures was on the floor, his wallet, his keys Remember, he was holding the keys so everything just came out and I noticed that it was a hole on his chest. So as she's jumping around going crazy, I decided to apply pressure on it and as I'm applying the pressure, the blood is coming out, like I'm like OK, he's gone. His eyes was rolling back. I was checking for a pulse. I didn't feel anything. It's as if he died immediately. So I was just over him and I'm just like I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that this happened to you. I'm just apologizing to him. I started kissing him all over his face. I'm like I'm so sorry or whatever.
Speaker 2:At this time I'm not losing my mind yet because I haven't fully processed it. The father of my child started to call me and when he called me and I answered, I said hey, he just killed my dad, in a very calm voice because it still didn't hit me. Then I received another text message from the guy he texts me. He goes you broke my heart and then I looked at the phone and I put it back down. So my other friend, the one that ran he ran to another neighbor's house. The neighbor's brother ended up coming over and when he came over he was like what's going on? What's going on and at this point I'm still calm because I still haven't processed what was going on and I told him I said my ex just killed my dad. He was like what I said, my ex just killed my dad. So he walked in and he came back. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. So I seen the officer come and I guess he was waiting for backup because it was shooting. So he didn't come along.
Speaker 2:So when they actually came in, the paramedics came as well as soon as they came in and they said that this is everybody to get out, because now it's a crime scene. That's when it hit me like, oh my God, this is real, it's actually happening. I started crying you know the whole process and they took me in for questioning, answered all the questions. As I was getting questioned, they asked me was somebody else involved in the shooting. Did somebody else get shot? I said no, I don't think nobody else got shot. No, so what happened is when I came back to the crime scene, completely forgot that I was talking to my friend, I seen the vehicle. So when I seen the vehicle, I was like, oh my God, he got shot. So I'm like, hey, did you guys remember? You guys asked me, did somebody else get shot? And I completely forgot that I was talking to my friend. They was like okay, they wrote down his information.
Speaker 2:So not only did my father die, but for the next three days in my mind, I thought he died as well. Three days later he came walking into my mom's yard. He had the hospital gown. I was like, oh my God, thank God you're alive, because I'm already tripping about my dad's situation and I thought you were gone. He was like no. So he got shot several times in the legs, he got grazed a couple of times and then he got shot, but he was able to stand up and walk and everything. So I was like thank you God, by the grace of God, that he's still alive.
Speaker 2:Through this trauma, through this experience that I went through, I realized that as the days were going by, bills were still coming and at that time I was doing lashes at my mom's house and actually that day that he came, when everything happened. I was supposed to do somebody lashes that morning, but she came late. So I was very, very strict on my time because I felt like once somebody come late, they're going to always do it. So because she was 15 minutes late, I didn't have nobody after her I did not take her. It's like God made that happen, because would she have been in the living room while I was doing her lashes, she would have been a victim as well and I would have been dead. It would have been three people dead in one shot in the front. So I thank God for that.
Speaker 2:It was a lot and as everything was going, bills were still going, so I had to pop open my lash bed and keep doing lashes. My family members were coming to visit. I had to take over. After the funeral happened, I used to tell my brothers like yo, like y'all, need to step up and help me. And one of my brothers looked me in my eyes and he said this is all your fault, so you have to pay all the bills, and it hurt my heart so bad. So ever since then I worked extra hard. I tried my best to make it meet for my mom. You know I tried my best to be there for her, so that's one of the main traumatic thing that happened to me was my father's death. So he died in 2017. We finally got justice last year, 2023. He did get sentenced to life. He got sentenced to two life sentences, one for my father and one for my friend that was outside.
Speaker 1:Where was your mom during the whole incident?
Speaker 2:My mom that day. She said that I caught her right Because she appeared about 15 minutes after everything happened. And she told me I called her and I don't remember calling her. She was like Mika, you called me. And when she came to the scene she was like what's going on? What's going on? And she started to look around and she goes OK, mika's right here, johnny's right here, jesse's right here. She's looking around naming all her kids, like everybody that live in the house, and she was like where's Poppy? Where's Poppy? And I'm like, oh my God, how am I going to tell my mom this?
Speaker 2:So the paramedics and the officers were like ma'am, do you have high blood pressure or do you suffer from anything? You know, just before she knows the news and she was already putting two together because it's a crime scene. There's an ambulance truck there, you know just, and it happened so fast, like they taped it up so fast. So she found out about it and it was a lot for her to deal with, because my parents were married for over 30 years. They were together not married, but together for over 30 years. They came to America together. They started a family together. I don't know any other woman or any other men but my parents. That was very hurtful for her. I thank God that her sister was able to come, because now that she's here they actually are together, so she doesn't feel alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awesome when you came out of the closet and you went to your dad. Where was the ex-boyfriend at that time?
Speaker 2:At that time I didn't know where he was. He had gotten back into the car when officers finally came and they wanted to question me. I said I will not speak until you guys catch this person. So when I went there they was like, okay, we're going to take you, we want you to point him out. So I was like, okay, yeah, he got arrested at his parents' house. He actually got arrested in front of his mother, father, his family members. He was able to go in and change his clothes and shortly after. Yes, immediately.
Speaker 1:Wow. You and I also had conversation about what it was like for you going to court. Would you like to share?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it was so frustrating because it was a process that started over and over again. So when we first started, the public defender that he had didn't want to pick up his case. So he kept saying, I have this case, I have that case. So it kept, you know, just going backwards. And then 2020 happened. So when COVID happened, it pushed all the dates back. Then, when he found a lawyer, you know the lawyer was very rude. He was just like, oh well, if he's like this, then why did you marry him? Or your dad would be alive, like he'll say certain things just to make me angry, but it didn't work because I guess he tried to make me look crazy or make it look like I have a bad reaction. That did not work. That lawyer ended up getting suspended for a while. So everything was on break again. When it was time to come back to court like we started with questioning and everything we started the whole process. We started trial. He ended up getting suspended. They paused the whole thing. Then, when it was time for her to come back, he ended up passing away the same lawyer. So the lawyer passed away. So they pushed everything back again. Finally, we was assigned to a new judge. So this judge said you know what? This has been going on for too long. This needs to be done by the end of the year. So this happened 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022. And then finally, in 2023, we were able to finally start trial in the ending of December In 2024, in January he was finally sentenced. Start trial in the ending of December In 2024, in January he was finally sentenced.
Speaker 2:It was very annoying because it's like you have to keep reliving your trauma and it's one thing to tell a story and it's another thing to actually see everything. The first time I didn't get to see none of the evidence, because it never made it that far, but I did have meetings that I had to sit down with my attorney and, just you know, just go over some things. So I had to relive the moment, relive the moment, relive the moment. And finally, when court happened, I had to sit outside. So I had to hear my family tell me what they had to experience. I wouldn't want my family members to experience what I experienced, or nobody else, so they had to hear the 911 call. They had to see my reaction, how I was calm one minute, going crazy the next minute calm, another minute. Going crazy the next minute. I was just all over the place not understanding that somebody that I love just killed somebody that I love as well.
Speaker 2:For my mom, I felt really bad because you know, when you go through these court processes, the medical examiner comes, so you're seeing body parts, you're seeing the brain, you're seeing the bloody scenes. My mom didn't see the bloody scenes. Yes, she's seen a little bit of residue, because when they clean up they don't really clean up thoroughly. So to see him laying down there lifeless although I faced my own trauma, I know it's a traumatic experience for her to see her husband in that situation and it wasn't his fault. He did not deserve that. He came to America just for a better life and to provide for his kids. So for that to happen, I know it hurt them a lot and it hurt my family.
Speaker 2:This whole situation hurt my family a lot. One of my brother became an alcoholic and then another one of my brother he started really smoking marijuana. But one thing that I did say I said when I go through this, I'm not going to drink or I'm not going to smoke, I'm not turning to drugs. And I didn't have time to really grieve because I had to go back to work and because of my story, because of what took place, I was so booked, so many people started to find out about me and find out about my business and they started to support me. So I was working nine to nine, nine to nine, nine to nine, so I didn't have time to grieve till like later on. I'm very thankful because they said that a lot of time trials doesn't go that long. Usually they'll just plead guilty and then be over with.
Speaker 2:So a lot of the people that came to the court that was from the city that was working at the police department at that time the detectives, a lot of them remember my dad's situation. There was one lady she actually is an officer in a whole different state now and she came down and she was like I can remember your story like it was yesterday. She was like your story was different, like I remember your dad. I remember the way you panic and I got to sit with her like outside.
Speaker 2:Your dad, I remember the way you panic and I got to sit with her like outside and I spoke to her for a while and she was like I would never miss this. She said I had to be here, like I had to be here, and then one of the crime scene investigators that was there she no longer worked for them as well. She also told me your story really impacted me and showed me a different, you know life, of things that can happen and I never experienced it before. So she made sure that she was there. So I was very grateful for everybody that came out and didn't give up on us.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like you ended up having more support than you ever realized in going through this? Yes, I have a very big family and they flew from all over.
Speaker 2:I have a very big family and they flew from all over. And another thing was like my dad had life insurance for a while and the life insurance he he told him I never received my packet was going on. I keep asking you guys for information. He was like you know what I'm going to go ahead and change. So literally three months before he passed away, he changed his life insurance to a different company and because was so new and fresh, it didn't cover anything. So thank god for having a big family, because with haitians our culture when somebody passes away, everybody comes together and bring money. So he was able to have a wonderful, wonderful funeral ceremony. Um, we had about 300 guests or probably plus, like the community came out very supportive. So I really thank God for a lot of things. Thank God for my family as well.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. You know it had to be tough to move forward with court hanging over your head. How did you get through that? How did you manage that?
Speaker 2:Grace of God, I had to keep going. My dad trained me growing up, like everything that he taught me, it played on, it benefited me during that time, during that season, because I had to get up. And you know what? I got to handle this FPL. I got to handle this, I have to handle that. So there's a lot of stuff that he put in me that I was like, okay, I kept myself busy, basically Because if I was free I probably would have just went completely crazy.
Speaker 2:After my dad passed away, I went to the cemetery every single day for about three months and then my mom, she came out there one time and she was like leave him alone, you're not letting him rest, just leave him alone. And then after that day I really haven't been back and I don't really plan on going back, because something my pastor said is like when you're going to the cemetery, you're not visiting anybody. The soul is already gone, it's left from the body. So you know you're just going to the cemetery and I'm like you know what? He's absolutely right. I would always kiss my dad.
Speaker 2:I'm a very affectionate person, so I would kiss. I was kissing him. I remember being in the kitchen like he was cleaning, he was mopping the floor and I was kissing him. I was like I love you and he looked at me a certain way, like you know, like you know, that memory lives with me forever because I had a sweet moment with my father before it happened and, um, you know, I'm, I'm just, I'm grateful for it. Honestly, I'm grateful for it. It was challenging I'm not going to say it was easy, but I feel like the best thing that I did was to keep going. Life goes on after death.
Speaker 2:Was there a moment for you where it all just kind of hit the grief and the loss and all of that. Of course, the funeral home allowed us to see his body before he got embalmed, um, so they covered him in a blanket and only his head was like his face was out the only thing. And I went me my mom, my aunt, they allowed the family, the immediate family, to come and I just released it all like I cried so much I couldn't hold it, you know, and I am a feet person, like I love I love feet. So I went to my, you know, and I am a feet person, Like I love feet. So I went to my dad and I would always mess with his feet and I was just holding onto his feet and I was just crying so hard Like I can't believe this is happening right now, Like I can't believe this is real. And even at the extra funeral I didn't hear nothing they were talking about.
Speaker 2:I had a boo-hoo cry the whole time because it was just a feeling of guilt, because my father at one point didn't want him around, like didn't like the guy for me anymore, Because they ended up finding out that he shot at my car, like later on when they went to go pick him up for the federal case. So after that time my father never wanted me to be with him anymore and I'm like it's all my fault. I should have listened. Like you know, your parents know best and even though we don't understand that at the time, at the moment but the parents, your parents, will always want what's best for you and I didn't realize that till after and I had so much guilt I'm like this is all my fault. This is somebody that I picked to love.
Speaker 2:I blamed myself for a long period of time, Even sometimes, like when I sit down like I just recently purchased a home, I'm like you know, my dad sacrificed his life to come to America for a better life. I was like he would be so happy to see me in this home. Like I think about it all the time. I always say, man, I'm so blessed that I had the father that I had. He didn't abandon us, he didn't leave us for dead. He really was a real man. So when I date, I should look at people that have the same mindset as my father, that wants to provide for the family, that wants the sweet love that you know just understand the importance of family.
Speaker 1:What does forgiveness look like for you? Oh my.
Speaker 2:God, that was the hardest thing to do, ok, so it was very hard. I had a lot of bitterness in my heart. So in 2019, I remember getting on my knees and I said God, give me the ability to forgive this man. Like I don't want to take this into the next year, like I want to be able to release it. You know, and I prayed about it and I'm not going to lie it, just it wasn't easy because I had to keep seeing him and when everything first happened, he flicked a birdie at my brother. So you know, it made him more hurtful, more intense, like you know what you did. But I did forgive him. I had to in order to move on, in order to not be in a dark space.
Speaker 2:In January 2024, during his sentencing, we were able to speak to him. Just final statements. My mom spoke, my brothers had the opportunity to speak and I was one that spoke and I was like you know what? I forgive you, you know, but you made a bet and you have to lay in it. And I was like God gave you so much chances. I seen the red flags and I ignored them and I said God gave you so much chances. I said the first time you know, you dropped a gun. The second time you pierced a bullet and you dropped a gun and the third time you actually killed somebody. So you had chances. So it wouldn't be fair for you to be released running the streets wild because God gave you your chances. So now you have to lay in that bed.
Speaker 2:But I do believe even my mom forgave him. I forgave him, my older brother forgave him. It's just one of my brother that he hasn't gotten to the forgiving part yet. Like he's not there yet and I cannot force him. That's something that he will have to do on his own. But honestly, I forgave him. I did Like I had to, like that's the only way that I was able to keep going. And did you forgive yourself? Yes, eventually I did, because I had to realize that my dad did what any father would do. He told me to run, he was protecting me. He's a superhero.
Speaker 2:It's so crazy that I had a conversation with my father probably like two weeks before. It's like family members were calling us, like oh, we see, we're having dreams that somebody is robbing the house and we're having dreams about this and having that. And what my father told me. My father said if I die, it won't matter to me. He said I accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish in life. He said I came to America, I gave my family a better life and in the house where my parents' house are paid off. And he said I paid the house off so if anything ever happened to my kids where they can't afford a home, they always have a home that they can go back to. So I think about that a lot.
Speaker 2:And another thing that I think about what my dad said a couple months before that is you see, your mother. I love her and I would do anything for her. Whatever I can do for her, I will do it because at my lowest she was there. When I got sick, she was there. She didn't miss no doctor appointments. She was always there. Those two things live with me and I hear it all the time. It's as if I could hear his voice just speaking to me.
Speaker 2:Our life was written before we were even born. So I do believe that it was supposed to happen the way it happened, even though it's unfortunate, because I feel like God has given me a voice to speak and I'm training the bad for good. I want to get out into the community and speak about controlling our emotions, because majority of the people that is incarcerated is because they couldn't control their emotions Boyfriends killing girlfriends, girlfriends killing boyfriends. I do believe that a lot of my story, a lot of my trauma, is testimonies as well. Because I survived it, I'm able to speak about it and hopefully my story can change others.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. It starts with one voice, right? Yes, Controlling your feelings. Love that you're bringing that to light. Is there anything you would like to add in regards to that topic of controlling your emotions?
Speaker 2:Controlling your emotions is very important because in a second your life can change. One wrong decision. Your life can change because, like I said, this guy has so much potential and, just like that, now you're behind bars for the rest of your life. And when I look at the video because our neighbor had a camera that was facing towards the house and when I look at the video, everything happened in a few seconds, not even a minute. Him coming up, coming out the car, shooting this person, going back to the car. He shot with one gun. He went back to the car and he went and got a bigger gun and then went in the house.
Speaker 2:In those few seconds of you being angry and not being able to calm down, you lost your life. Two people died behind us and one person got injured behind us, just because of you not controlling your emotions. One mistake, you only take one mistake. That's what I would mean. Now I learned how to control my anger because I feel like with the trauma, with all my traumas together, it's like I learned how to control my emotions. I'll shut down, I won't talk. I will just try my best not to get control my emotions. I'll shut down, I won't talk. I will just try my best not to get out of character and I don't feel like some people understand me, like some people will be like why are you not talking or why are you not engaging with me? And it's not that. It's like I don't want to say the wrong thing, I don't want to go beyond myself. Like it's very important, that's something that's very important for me. It's just controlling my emotions.
Speaker 1:What advice would you give to your younger self?
Speaker 2:Pay attention to those red flags. Red flags, red flags. That is very important to pay attention to the red flags. If you see somebody is able to pull out a gun once, they'll do it twice. Sorry sounds good, but is the person really sorry? My advice to my younger self is pay attention to the red flags and don't be afraid to walk away. God will give you much, much more a better person that understands you, somebody that will control their emotions. So that would be the advice I give my younger self.
Speaker 1:Thank you for sharing. Now your journey has brought you to where you are today and wanting to establish this nonprofit. Can we take a minute and you tell us about that?
Speaker 2:friends. I want it to be something that's nationwide. I want to travel and speak about it. I want to go to schools and educate students. It's very important that we attack our youth first, because they are the main ones that are going through the emotional phase where they're learning their stuff at that time. So you know, it's very important to speak to them as well. In my venue that I'm opening, since it's a community outreach, I do plan on teaching financial literacy. I do want to gather people together that can come and speak to our community about what's going on. My goal is to tell people about controlling their emotions, and I feel like it's very important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're definitely on to something there. So, kudos, keep moving forward as it it evolves. And you have more information, please pass it on and I will share it with the audience as well, and quickly tell us about your ebook.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I do have a personal credit ebook that I will be releasing soon. I myself, in my adult life, has always been doing cash, cash, cash cash until it was time to purchase my house. During the process of my house, I see how important it was. So after purchasing my home, a lot of people started asking me like, oh, what did you do? And I'm like you know one of the main things that you need is credit. And I realized that a lot of my family and friends are in the five 600, like lower credit scores. And you know, I started investing and learning more about credit.
Speaker 2:So I put all of my knowledge that I have learned into one book. It's full of information. It's literally full of information. It could take you from to 500 to the 750s, maybe 800. To fix your credit, if you go to a credit person, they'll have you pay $1,000, $2,000 when you could just purchase an ebook for about 68 bucks, and it'll have all the information there,000, $2,000 when you could just purchase an ebook for about $68. And it'll have all the information there. So you just have to read it and get it done. You just have to take action.
Speaker 1:Yep All the information at your fingertips right.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's there. The extra bonus that's in there. It has 20 different dispute letters. So it's phenomenal it has so much information in there.
Speaker 1:All right, I can't wait to see it, so very excited for that. So this is going to be great. Micah, thank you for being my guest today on the I Need Blue podcast. Of course, it was a pleasure, absolutely, and thank you for listening. No-transcript.
