I Need Blue

Diane: When Goodbye Comes Without Warning

• Jennifer Lee/Diane Z • Season 5 • Episode 8

Share episode

When the unthinkable strikes, how do we navigate the darkness of grief? Diane’s life changed forever when her husband, Harry, passed suddenly just days after their final vacation. What began as minor indigestion revealed three severely blocked arteries—something no one expected given his active lifestyle.

In this emotional episode, Diane recounts Harry’s final moments, the hospital rush, and the heartbreak of saying goodbye to their wedding song, Just the Way You Are. She reflects on their 41-year love, faith, and family, reminding us that grief doesn’t disappear—it’s something we learn to carry with grace, faith, and glimpses of joy.

Connect with Diane:

Email:DZIZZO01@att.net

Connect with Jen:

I Need Blue  now has a new home at The Healing in Sharing! Visit thehealinginsharing.com  to explore Round Chair Conversations, all relevant I Need Blue content, and ways to support the mission of sharing stories that inspire hope and resilience.

By sharing the hidden lines of our stories, we remind each other we are not alone — together, we step out of hiding and into healing. 

Instagram: @ineedbluepodcast
YouTube:     https://www.youtube.com/@ineedblue

Apple Podcasts: Listen & Subscribe
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheHealingInSharing11

Memoir: Why I Survived, by Jennifer Lee on Amazon

Support the show

Speaker 1:

Imagine when you share your darkest hours they become someone else's light. I'm Jennifer Lee, a global community storyteller, host, author and survivor, guiding you through genuine, unfiltered conversations. Together we break the silence, shatter stigma and amplify voices that need to be heard. Each episode stands as a testament to survival, healing and reclaiming your power. Listen to I Need Blue on Apple Podcasts, spotify, youtube or your favorite platform. Learn more at wwwineedbluenet. Trigger warning I Need Blue shares real-life stories of trauma, violence and abuse meant to empower and support. Please take care of yourself and ask for help if needed. Now let's begin today's story.

Speaker 1:

On January 10th, I read a Facebook post that stopped me in my tracks. It simply said just letting you know Harry passed away suddenly at noon today. I am in shock. I stared at the screen, frozen. The words felt unreal, like my heart needed a moment to catch up with what my eyes had just seen. I hadn't known Harry and Diane for long, but with them, time didn't matter. Five minutes in their presence felt like five years of friendship. That's just the kind of warmth they carried. Once I gathered my thoughts through the haze of disbelief, I left a comment I'm so sorry, diane. We're here if you need anything. Others shared their own words of comfort. Still, no amount of condolences could touch the raw ache behind Diane's post.

Speaker 1:

On February 22nd, we gathered for Harry's memorial a beautiful, emotional tribute to a man who had quietly touched so many. Then, on May 18th, over breakfast with Diane and a few close friends. Then, on May 18th, over breakfast with Diane and a few close friends, something shifted as she began to speak about the events leading up to Harry's passing. Her words carried more than just facts. They carried love, shock, confusion and the deep sorrow of having no chance to say goodbye. I sat there listening and something inside me stirred. I knew then we needed to honor Harry, truly honor him.

Speaker 1:

Though my time with him was short, harry left a mark. He was the kind of man who always had a smile ready and a lighthearted joke waiting in his back pocket. He had a gift he made people laugh, feel seen and feel welcome. The world feels dimmer without his light. And Diane, she, is full of memories, filled with the weight of love, the ache of absence and the torment of unfinished goodbyes. This space, this story, is for her, for Harry and for the love that remains even when the person we love is gone. Diane, thank you for being my friend and thank you for being my guest today on the I Need Blue podcast.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, Jen, it got me started crying already, it's okay.

Speaker 1:

I am fighting tears myself, thinking about you and the courage it takes to come here and speak with me today. About you and the courage it takes to come here and speak with me today. We were talking before we got started that Sunday was Father's Day and I thought about you and I can't imagine how that felt, because you're going through the year of the firsts right, the firsts of Harry not being here for everything. How are you doing?

Speaker 2:

You know I'm doing okay. I guess Under the circumstances I do the best I can, and some days are harder than others and I just try and keep really busy. So unless I have to focus on the loss, I do okay, you know. But it's still raw after five months. But it's still raw after five months.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, how many years were you married Last?

Speaker 2:

Tuesday, the 9th of June would have been 41 years. We didn't make it 41 years, wow.

Speaker 1:

Well, he's still with you in heaven, looking down, and I guarantee you in his heart. You are still the one and will always be the one. So, and we're going to go into this conversation at your comfort level. If you need a break, by all means. We're not here to trigger you, but to honor your love and the memory of Harry, and so I'm very honored to be able to do this with you.

Speaker 2:

Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Of course, tell me about your family children grandchildren.

Speaker 2:

You know the one thing I talked to one of my pastors over the weekend. The one thing I can't get out of saying is we because we're still we, always. So we have two children and their spouses. I have a daughter who will be 40 this year. She's not happy about that. Her name is Dawn Danielle, but we call her Dee Dee, and her husband is Brian. He is a vice principal. He's been a rock. They have three children. The oldest is Liam, he's going to be 11 this year. And then there's Lennox, who turned nine, and Laken, she'll be seven, seven, nine and 11. And then my son, brandon and his wife Stephanie, who is also a teacher, and they have three children. And the oldest is Adeline, and she also is nine. The middle one is Gianni and he is seven, the same as Lakin. And then the baby of the family is Rain, and Rain is four and a half. I'm blessed because they're all very close to us. My daughter lives a couple blocks away and my son lives about 10 minutes away.

Speaker 1:

I love that. All your family is there for you too, so you all have each other as you go through life together. Can we talk a little bit about? In the beginning? We said unfinished goodbyes in the beginning we said unfinished goodbyes.

Speaker 2:

What occurred before his sudden passing? It was a cruise with his cousin and his cousin's wife to go on a New Year's Eve cruise with them. That was for eight days and we left December 27th and we got back on January, I think 6th. You know, I had an excursion planned on the cruise for the Thursday before we got back. It was from Saturday to Saturday and we were in the Dominican Republic. We were going zip lining, which we had never done before, and then lunch and horseback riding, so we left the ship early, around 7.30.

Speaker 2:

You know, on a cruise you always eat so much, way too much. He was a type 2 diabetic so he was very, very, very religious about watching what he ate. But on the cruise we were bad and so we had breakfast and then headed out at 7.30 through the small town of Amber Cove to head to our van that was going to take us on our excursion. It was a long walk and it was warm out and we got about halfway and he stopped and said I need to sit down for a minute and I said okay and he sat. I said what's wrong? And he held his chest and and said I need to sit down for a minute and I said okay, and he sat. I said what's wrong? And he held his chest and he said well, I think it's indigestion, which made sense, you know, because he had eaten a big breakfast. So he drank some water, took some deep breaths and I said well, let's just go back to the ship. And he said my husband was always worried about money. And he said well, how much do we pay for this excursion? And I said well, it doesn't matter. I said if you don't feel good, let's go back. So he said give me a minute. And so he sat for less than five minutes and got up and said okay, I'm good, let's go. So we proceeded the rest of the way we went ziplining and we were on eight ziplines and if I tell you in that heat, if we didn't walk up 20,000 steps, we didn't walk up one and every picture on every zipline is his big smile and his wave. And we did that and we went and had lunch and then we went horseback riding and then we took the walk back to the ship and when we got back to the ship there was a huge line waiting to get back on the ship and it was hot and we were in that line for almost an hour and it was so hot. They were bringing us ice, towels and water because, you know, just to keep us cooled down. So we get back on the ship. That was Thursday. Friday, everything was normal. Saturday we get back to port. We come home. Sunday, we just do stuff around the house.

Speaker 2:

Monday morning we are pickleball players and Monday morning we went out and we played pickleball for three hours. And when I tell you we play pickleball, we play nonstop, we never sit down. And so we did that Monday and then Tuesday and Wednesday it was the 7th and 8th of January it was really cold out. He didn't want to play, it was too cold. Thursday morning get up, he's eating breakfast and I'm sitting on the couch with my back to him and I said do you want to play pickleball today or is it too cold? And I didn't turn around and I didn't hear anything. And then all of a sudden he said I'm having a DR moment. And I said I turned around, I said what he said Dominican Republic. And he's holding his chest and I said get dressed, I'm taking you to the emergency room. So he went in the bathroom. He went to get dressed. I waited a few minutes. I didn't hear anything. I went in and he was leaning over the sink and he said call 911, which fortunately they were right across the street from our house, not a minute away. I called 911, but the EMTs got there. He was very agitated. They were asking him questions and he was just barking back at them. The short end of it is they took him to the heart center at the hospital Holmes Regional and I was going to go ahead and leave so that I could get there before he got there. And I did got there and one of my pastors was actually already there. Everybody was praying heavily throughout our friends and family and my daughter also met me there and a lot of it is just kind of a blur because it all happened so fast, but he got there a few minutes after we all did.

Speaker 2:

It took a while. They wouldn't let us back to see him in the emergency room and then finally we went back and it was me and my daughter and they were just working on him and they had him all hooked up to oxygen and they were injecting him with stuff and the nurse was wonderful but she just kept asking Every time she'd give him medicine she'd say what's your pain level? And he'd just bark back at her. He said same, it's the same, it's the same. And he hated having that big oxygen mask on his face and he kept trying to pull it off and he said can't you put the one in my nose? And so she said, well, we'll try. And as soon as they did that, his oxygen just kept dropping and so they had to have the big mask on him. And then finally, you know, she said okay, we're taking him up to the heart cath lab. And so they get ready to wheel him out of the room.

Speaker 2:

And I couldn't get real close to him because he had so much, you know, between the mask and everything hooked up to him. So I just kissed him on the forehead and I said I love you and I'll see you on the other side, meaning the other side of the hospital. And he pulled the mask off and he said I'm so sorry. And I said what are you sorry about? You didn't want this to happen. And my daughter kissed him and he left, and little did we know that would pretty much be the end of it, and so a lot went on while he was up in the calf lab. They said it would maybe a couple hours, but we waited maybe about two, two and a half hours and I hear co-blue room three, and I had no idea what room he was in, but in my heart I just knew it was him, I felt it, I knew it and tried to get somebody to talk to us and find out. No one would give us any answers and so we waited and we prayed and there were just tons of church people and family there and eventually the nurse came out and doctor and they said yes, it was him who coded. But they resuscitated him. You know, they had to intubate him and have him on an impelio, which is a heart machine to keep his heart going. They said he's just very weak.

Speaker 2:

That was Thursday and we went through the entire day. Everything was touch and go. We couldn't go back to see him for quite some time. They kept having to stabilize him and then eventually, late in the afternoon, one of the nurses came out and she said he just squeezed my hand and tried to open his eyes and so she said you might want to go back now.

Speaker 2:

My daughter and I went in and my son had not gotten there yet. He was at work and he was trying to get to the hospital. I grabbed his hand and I just told him you know I loved him and he, I mean that's the slightest, slightest little touch of a finger squeeze that you can imagine that he was. It took everything in him to even move his finger and he had his one, his right eye, just. You could just see him straining to try to open it. So we knew that he hurt us and so we said what we had to say. And for me, I knew it was goodbye. I just did, and of course my daughter didn't want to believe that or, at this point, was still hoping for some miracle.

Speaker 2:

But that was the rest of that day. That was pretty much all that happened that night. My daughter, my son and my sister we spent the night. Of course we didn't sleep, but about two in the morning a nurse, a male nurse, came out. He started to talk with us and he said it is not good. He said we lost pulse in both of his legs. And as soon as he said that, a code blue was called again, and he didn't even finish what he was saying, he ran, he just ran. And, of course, here we are thinking you know it's Harry again just crying and praying. And about 45 minutes later the male nurse comes back out and he sees us and we're just, you know, looking at him. He goes no, no, that wasn't him. So we took a breath and he said it's not good, though he said his organs were all failing. We can't get the pulse back in his legs. We've had to resuscitate him a couple of times and the cardiologist will be here in the morning and talk to you more.

Speaker 2:

And so that was the night, and early the next morning the cardiologist arrives. He had said to me has he ever had heart issues before? And I said no, nothing. And he said well, he had a massive heart attack a week ago. And so I proceeded to tell him what we had done Thursday and what had happened and what we had done since. And he was looking at me as if I was lying to him and he said you mean to tell me that he wasn't short of breath or coughing or tired? And I said no, I said everything I'm telling you he did. He said his words to me were whatever protocol he was on kept his body so strong and healthy that a dead heart was pumping because he had three main arteries two were 100% blocked and the third was 90%. He said this man should not have been walking, moving, breathing, for at least the last week.

Speaker 2:

In itself was a miracle. And he told us you know, it is not good. He said the only option they have at this point is they could remove the I guess the port or whatever it is they had in his groin for the catheterization. Remove that and put it up by his shoulder. He said but the chances are very, very slim, less than 5%, that he'll survive that. And so my question the cardiologist was okay, if by some miracle he survives that, what would we be looking at? He would be on dialysis, he would be in a wheelchair, he would be on oxygen and he went on and on and on.

Speaker 2:

And I looked at him and I said him, and I said he has a DNAR. And if I could have taken a picture of the doctor's face, it was like shock. And he said who did you tell that to? And I said no one ever asked me, no one ever had me sign anything. No one ever asked.

Speaker 2:

At that point he said well, what would you like us to do. I said, well, what should have been done? Take him off all of the, everything they worked with us. And the nurse asked what I wanted to do and I said well, my only wish is that I'm there with him and he takes his last breath. And she grabbed my hands and got in my face and she said Mrs Izzo. She said, if you were my mother, I'd tell you the same thing. She said this is not something you would want to see. When we remove everything from him, it will be ugly, she said, and I really don't think you want that to be your last memory of him. So I said okay, she said, but we'll do the best we can.

Speaker 2:

So we had all of the family his sister and sister-in-law and my brother-in-law and sister and all the kids and everybody, of course, but the grandkids, because they had no idea this thing going on. They were at school. We all got to go in and before they unplugged him and everyone went in and said their goodbyes individually. They had us in a little room right across the hall from where he was and they were just very, very good to us and very gracious. And when everybody had said their goodbyes, she came to me and she said are you ready now? And I said, yeah, go ahead. And so they did what they had to do. And then she came across the hall and she said okay, you can come in. She said everything is unplugged and he is still with us.

Speaker 2:

And so I went in and my son-in-law went with me. He asked me what I wanted him to play, what music. And so I said, well, amazing Grace, my Chains Are Gone, was his favorite song. And so he put that on his phone and I just sat with him and held his hand and spoke to him and kissed him his hand and spoke to him and kissed him. The song was over and he is still breathing and the nurse is standing in the back of the room just shaking her head, like she. She said there's no way, this just can't be.

Speaker 2:

And so Brian said my son-in-law well, what else do you want me to play? And I said, well, play our, our song. And I said, well, play our song. Sorry, it's okay. So our song was Billy Joel, just the Way you Are. And so he put that on and it was a very long song and I put my head down on his chest and cried and the entire song played and at the end of the song my son-in-law said he just took his last breath. So that's how it ended. And it was just the nurse. Just even afterwards she said I cannot believe that that man kept breathing for that long. She said that should not have been. It was just so fast and it was so shocking my son, he never got to see or speak with him and it's been very hard for my children and my grandchildren and we've all just been dealing with a lot of grief in different ways and dealing with a lot of grief in different ways.

Speaker 1:

I would like to ask you, in recalling this story, does it become part of your healing process or does it just make you relieve the grief over and over?

Speaker 2:

You know, in the beginning, when he first passed, I just couldn't talk about it and my daughter made a very long Facebook post detailing everything so that people wouldn't keep asking me and I wouldn't have to even try to say anything. After a few weeks it became a little easier to talk about and I do believe in talking about it it helped with the healing. It doesn't make it any easier every time I tell the story. It's just as hard, but I'm able to get through it, so that's the difference.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for sharing and thank you for letting us into the emotions. Cannot imagine where you are, where your kids are. You did say within the story that Harry should have had a heart attack, but he was on a particular regimen that had kept him alive. What was the secret?

Speaker 2:

Well, we've been doing doTERRA essential oils for the last 12 years. Well, we've been doing doTERRA essential oils for the last 12 years. But initially, when I first got into doTERRA it was because he was on 16 pharmaceutical and over-the-counters and my goal was to get him off some of them. And when he finally stopped calling me the hocus-pocus oil lady and started accepting some of these things to replace his medications, in six months he was off all but six. And he did have type 2 diabetes. So those medications he continued, but they were reduced.

Speaker 2:

The cardiologist did say of course his type 2 diabetes and the medication was a big contributing factor to what his health was. He did everything religiously as far as his eating, his meds, his doTERRA. Neither one of us in the 12 years that we were doing doTERRA had so much as a cold. So we were very healthy and very active. Again, that just made it even more of a shock. He had been to his endocrinologist for his diabetes every three months and he had his blood work done right before we left for that cruise. And then his appointment was the Tuesday after we got back, two days before the heart attack, the second one. Everything was fine, all his blood work was good. Cardiologist said okay, see you in three months.

Speaker 1:

You all had a mission together of how to help people. You all used your passion and were able to help people, and I know that you're still helping people. Talking about family, how are your children and the grandchildren? How do they process that, especially grandchildren so?

Speaker 2:

when he passed. Friday night, when the kids all got off from school, we all went over my daughter's house and we sat them all down and my son-in-law told them that Pops was gone, told them that Pops was gone, that he had passed, and it's strange how each one of them had different reactions. The three girls went right to their moms or dads, started crying and hugging them. And then the boys, the two older boys initially laughed. It was like almost like they thought that he was kidding, until, you know, they got the realization. My youngest grandson, johnny, he was funny, he says. He looked at me and he says grandma, who are you going to marry now? So there was a little levity in all of it. But the girls struggled outwardly the most. The youngest one, rain. She had nightmares and she would wake up screaming that Pops was with her and she missed him. He was just so close with all of them, he did things with all of them. They adored him. They're just all processing it differently.

Speaker 2:

And we did just go on our annual family vacation, which was a cruise, and we decided to take his ashes with us, since he was supposed to be on the cruise with us. We said you know, let's take him one more time and do a burial at sea. And we did that and it was very hard, very hard, but it kind of opened up all the emotions freshly for everybody. But we did it and it went well and we were glad we did and he got to take that one last trip with us. So you know, it's just, it's ongoing. You know, now we're able to, you know, talk about him and laugh about you know, some of the things he used to do and say and have the memories, and he was a letter carrier for 32 years.

Speaker 2:

Well, six years ago I was able, fortunately, to retire him to help me with my doTERRA business and we made the decision at that time not to do gifts anymore and that's why we made the decision to do an annual family vacation every year. There were 12 of us, there were the six kids and the six adults. We did something different every year. We went skiing and last year we did a Disney cruise and then they loved the cruise so much we planned the carnival cruise for this year. We weren't going to buy gifts, we were going to make memories, and we have, and all the kids have all of those memories. So it was truly a blessing that we had done that. You know, I believe everything happens for a reason. That was just one more thing that we were able to do for the last five years with them.

Speaker 1:

And you're so right Making memories is the greatest gift you can give each other, and that carries on and on Unfinished goodbyes. Your son didn't have a chance to say goodbye. How does somebody who might be in that situation as well process that? How do they cope? Well, you know for my son.

Speaker 2:

It was very difficult. A little history my son, back in 2010, I believe it was my son was an addict and we were not aware of it. Long story is he overdosed in our home and his dad had to breathe life into his body. To breathe life into his body, he was in ICU with aspirated ammonia for 10 days, came out, went into a recovery program which was supposed to be 10 to 12 months, stayed there for 15. It was a Christian program and he came home a new creation. He was totally changed. Shortly thereafter he got home, he met his wife Within the next year. They married. He has been clean since 2012. So you know, the fact that his dad breathed life in him and he couldn't help him or say goodbye to him was very difficult. But he wrote him a text message on his phone and of course, I had his phone and I read it. It broke my heart. That's what he needed to do to say his goodbyes and of course, his words were you know, dad, you saved my life and I wasn't able to save yours and it was very hard for him. So he has been coping the best he can. It's difficult.

Speaker 2:

Father's Day Sunday I went over. His family was invited to his house and we were all there and it was just a very hard day. It was so rough. My daughter and her family were going to join us but they just couldn't. They just needed to be alone and quiet. So again, everybody deals differently. Sunday at church was very hard, very hard for all of me, my daughter and my granddaughter. I think it was hardest for us. They go to church with me and you do whatever it is that you need to do individually. It's personal.

Speaker 1:

And what words can you share with someone like me, a friend or somebody from church who wants to console you, but they're not quite sure what you need.

Speaker 2:

Well, I have such an outpouring of people and friends and church people and our pickleball community and you know, everybody did the right thing and the right thing is not necessarily to say anything. A hug means so much and you know I'm so sorry. I think that's really it. There's really nothing else anyone can say, especially if they haven't been there. And I learned a hard lesson as well, because I have many friends who are widows.

Speaker 2:

But a recent friend of mine, she would come to a class we would have at our home once a month and you know, her husband passed three years ago and she would still talk about him and weep, and I didn't get it and I had even said to her back in December. I said you know, I don't understand your pain, but I, you know, I love you. And I hugged her and we went to dinner the other night and she said you know what, that was the best thing you could have done. And I said now I get it. You know it was like was the best thing you could have done. And I said now I get it. You know it was like why is she crying all the time? It's been three years, you know. You just don't get it. You know you deal with it better as time goes on, but it's still raw and it's still there.

Speaker 1:

I believe that there is healing in hugs and that it's reciprocal.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and you know the hugs initiate the crying a lot and I would have. In the beginning I was a little embarrassed and tried to avoid it. But you know what everybody, they most of the time cry right along with me.

Speaker 1:

There's just no shame in it.

Speaker 2:

You know, let it out. You know people who hold it in. I think it's very difficult. I don't know how they do it. And also, if they don't have a relationship with the Lord, I don't know how they do it. And also, if they don't have a relationship with the Lord, I don't know how they do it, because I couldn't know how I would have gotten through it otherwise. I just don't.

Speaker 1:

Do you want to elaborate on your relationship with God and how that has helped you carry you through?

Speaker 2:

Well, my husband was an amazing man of God. Neither one of us had any faith in our life when we got married. Our kids were probably like around eight, nine, 10 in that area, and one day my daughter said how come we don't go to church or synagogue like our friends? A long story, but I had a friend invite me to church and I came home and I talked to Harry and I said I want to go and he goes, go ahead, I want you to go with me. And so that was in 1995. And he went the first time and it was an immediate transformation for both of us and our kids. And so we've been Christians since then.

Speaker 2:

But my husband, he became immersed in the Word. He couldn't get enough and he studied the Bible and he taught and he had a men's group for 20 years and he never met a stranger and he prayed incessantly for people. We'd be in the middle of Publix and run into someone and they mentioned a problem and we were praying right there in the middle of Publix or in the parking lot of BJ's, wherever we were, and he always said I'm not going to be one of those people that says I'll pray for you and then don't. He said we're going to do it right now, and if they didn't want to do it with us, we did it without them.

Speaker 1:

You know, and that's just who he was. God is patient and always right on time, right, absolutely yes, you and I have a mutual friend, deborah, who suddenly passed away and it didn't dawn on me right away, but I have a podcast episode with her and I realized I captured her voice and I captured her story and it's something that will live on, hopefully as long as I live, right. If you want to take this opportunity because I will give this link to your children as well to share a message with your kids, this space is yours. If it's too hard, you don't have to, but I learned a valuable lesson with Debra in capturing her voice and her message.

Speaker 2:

So it's funny you say that I actually saved his voicemail message from his phone because I wanted to be able to hear his voice whenever I could. I mean, he played the guitar and sang, and I was sad that I never really recorded him doing that often Some other people had, so fortunately we got little snippets of that, but my grandchildren used to sing with him when he played guitar and so we have those little things. So, yeah, that's really important. And for my children, oh gosh, I just. I mean, everyone loves their children, but I am just so blessed by both of them and their dad just adored them. We did everything we did for them.

Speaker 2:

My daughter is I may not be hers, but she is my best friend, my confidant, and my son is my new strong tower. I feel like I can rely on him. I know he'd be there if I need him. My son-in-law, my daughter-in-law as well. I'm so thankful that they found spouses that are perfect matches for them and I know one of the things their dad is the proudest of is that they are raising their children to believe the way that we believe. He was able to see almost all but two of them get baptized and that meant a lot. I just want them to know how much I love them and it's really immeasurable, and I think they know that, and I think they know that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for sharing those words, Diane, for your children. I would like to end this story with some of your happiest memories.

Speaker 2:

You know, it's the little funny things we like to remember. My grandson, lennox, talked about every minute we got to spend with those grandkids was special for him. He loved playing ball with the boys and they just loved every minute of it. They'd grab all their hands and jump into the pool together. He was just always there, always happy, always doing things for other people At his celebration of life. That was one of the funny moments. He was just always there, always happy, always doing things for other people At his celebration of life. That was one of the funny moments. He always used to pull on his private parts and Harry's thing was it's not silly punny, leave the silly punny alone. And so that's become a standard joke for all of us. Every time anybody sees that it's like leave the silly punny alone. Know, there's just been a lot of Harry-isms. We call them. You know, on the pickleball court he was known as Dirty Harry and they did an amazing memorial for him for me. They dedicated a bench with his name Dirty Harry's is on it and put up a paddle by the gate. There's just so much.

Speaker 2:

We met when we both moved to Florida in 1978. He was in the Air Force in Alaska and his parents had moved here while he was in Alaska and so when he got out he came here and I had moved here in 78 as well. I moved in March and then in September. We both loved to dance and we met at a club, old Best Western, on US 1. The host of America was the place of the live band and where everybody went to dance and have fun and that's where we met and the funny meeting was. I always wore glasses and I didn't like to wear them when I was out. I was with my best friend at the time, who is still in my life, and we tell the story.

Speaker 2:

I went to the restroom and this guy was standing outside the bathroom door and he was making comments to me and I ignored him because I couldn't see him and so I went in the bathroom. I came out and he made another comment and I just ignored him because I couldn't see him and so I went in the bathroom. I came out and he made another comment and I just ignored him, went to the table and I said to my friend Denise. I said, do me a favor, go to the bathroom. There's this guy standing outside the door and he's kind of coming on to me, but I couldn't see him See. If he says anything to you and if he doesn't, let me know, and let me know who's cute. So she goes a little while later and she comes back and she goes. He didn't say nothing to me, he goes and if I were you I'd go for it. So I go to the bathroom again and he looks at me and he goes. So are you going to say hello this time? And so that is how we met. And then, you know, we dated for a little bit and then he moved away. He moved to Daytona Beach and I wound up marrying someone else and that didn't last but six months and that was in 78. And then in 82 he moved back and we ran into each other again at a different club and we started dating and we got engaged in 83, got married in 84.

Speaker 2:

Here's a little tidbit that I love to tell people. Actually there's two things the night of our rehearsal dinner for our wedding when we got married at the old Port Malibu Country Club, which doesn't exist any longer, but his best friend was flying in from New York to be in our wedding party, and back then at the Melbourne airport there was no terminal, you would get off the plane on the tarmac. And so we're standing in the airport, tarmac, and so we're standing in the airport looking out the window and I see this young man coming off the airplane and I'm thinking to myself, I know that guy. And he comes closer, and he comes in the airport and him and Harry hug each other and I'm like, oh crap, I know that guy. And you know I didn't say it out loud, but I'm like, oh my gosh, I know him. How could this be the person he is?

Speaker 2:

Anyway, so we have the rehearsal dinner and we spend time together and I finally said I said Louie, I said I know that I know you. And he said I'm so glad you said that because I know you too. And we spent the next hour trying to figure out how we knew each other. And, of course, we're all from New York and Harry lived in Massapequa. And when I left home and got married the first time which didn't last very long either I moved to Lindenhurst, which was close to Massapequa, and used to go out dancing with my girlfriends to Massapequa, and used to go out dancing with my girlfriends. And we remember that this one night we met these two guys at this club and the reason I didn't remember Harry was because Harry was with my best friend and I was with Louie and we danced and we went to three different clubs and we went out to breakfast and we never saw each other again. Talk about fate, right? Yeah, you talk about something you meant to be. So that was that.

Speaker 2:

And then when Harry and I started dating the first time, I used to act. I was a stage actress and I was in Greece in Coco Community College at the time and I was playing Rizzo, and Harry came to the show and after the show I said to him wouldn't it be funny if we got married someday and I'd be Rizzo Del Pizzo Zizzo, because Del Pizzo was my maiden name. And he looked at me and he goes well, that ain't going to happen. So you know famous last words, and anytime anybody said something, I said, yeah, it took me three tries to find a man with more Z's in his name than I had, right? So you know, there's just great memories and we had lots of fun.

Speaker 2:

We never, in our almost 41 years of marriage and of knowing each other for way more than that. We never had a fight. We never fought. We bickered and argued with the best of them, but we never fought. And that was one thing my kids commented about too. You know, we never saw our parents angry at each other.

Speaker 2:

The one thing my husband said early on he had never been married before and knowing I had two very brief marriages he said we will never use the D word. And we never did. It's so easy for people to do that, and I know that for a fact. We got to do things that people don't get to do. My children got to experience vacations that some people only dream about. We went to California, did the entire Pacific Coast Highway, spent a night on the Queen Mary, went to Napa Valley, did hot air ballooning. We did dog sledding and sleighing on Lake Louise at Christmas. And that was another reason we wanted to do the vacations with the grandkids, because our kids, at this point in their life they can't afford to do that quite yet. We did so much, we had such a full life.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for sharing all of the memories. Thank you for allowing me, of course, diane.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for being my guest today on the I need blue podcast thank you, jen, for allowing me the opportunity and uh, I love you and I appreciate you, and uh, I hope I'm not too weepy.

Speaker 1:

No, I love you too, and you're so welcome. Thank you for listening. This is Jen Lee with the I Need Blue podcast. To learn anything and everything about I Need Blue, visit my website, wwwinadebluenet, and remember you are stronger than you think. Until next time.

Head Shot

Jennifer Lee

Host