I Need Blue

Sifu James DeFillips: Real-World Self-Defense & Awareness During the Holidays

• Jennifer Lee/James • Season 5 • Episode 15

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Have a plan before you need it.

The holiday season brings excitement—and dangerous distractions. Between shopping lists, phone notifications, and crowded parking lots, it’s easy to let your guard down. But awareness is your greatest defense. Train yourself to look up, scan your surroundings, notice who’s near your vehicle, and trust your instincts when something feels off. 

Distractions make you vulnerable; habits make you safe. Small choices like pocketing your phone, walking with confidence, and asking for help to your car can mean the difference between safety and danger. Don’t ignore that uneasy feeling—it’s your built-in alarm system.

Have a plan before you need it. When something goes wrong, you won’t rise to the occasion—you’ll fall to your level of preparation. Keep your escape plan simple: distract, disengage, and get to safety. Carry an item you can throw to divert attention, know where the exits are, and travel with a friend when possible. 

Confidence, awareness, and quick action are your best defense.

Bullet points from today's discussion:

Situational Awareness

  • Put your phone away when walking to or from your car or through parking lots.
  • Scan your surroundings—people, vehicles, exits, and lighting conditions.
  • Trust your instincts—if something feels off, it probably is.
  • Don’t dismiss feelings of unease; act on them early.

Planning Ahead

  • Have a plan before something happens; simple plans work best under stress.
  • Know your escape routes wherever you are (store, parking lot, street, etc.).
  • Default to escaping, not fighting—your goal is to get away safely.
  • Assume the attacker chose the time and place—you must choose the exit.

Practical Preparedness

  • Keep keys in hand, not buried in your purse or pocket.
  • Carry a distraction item (like “mugger’s money” or an old phone) to throw and create distance.
  • Avoid carrying your only defensive item (like keys or pepper spray) inside a bag that could be stolen.
  • Use strong body language—head up, make eye contact, walk confidently.

Increase Your Odds

  • Use the buddy system—shop or walk with a friend when possible.
  • If you feel unsafe, ask for store staff to walk you to your car.
  • If chased or attacked, yell or scream—make noise to draw attention.
  • Never obey commands that reduce your chance of escape (e.g., “Get in the car”).

Mindset & Training

  • Stay calm—panic clouds judgment.
  • Practice your plan mentally; repetition builds muscle memory.
  • Consider basic self-defense training to increase confidence and efficiency.
  • Remember: good habits today become your automatic reactions tomorrow.

Connect with James, Sifu of Wah Lum Kung Fu :

https://www.wahlumkungfu.com/

Melbourne, FL 32935

(321) 255-1048

Message to Sifu Lo: sifu@wahlumkungfu.com

Training Information: info@wahlumkungfu.com

Connect with Jen:

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SPEAKER_01:

Imagine when you share your darkest hours, they become someone else's light. I'm Jennifer Lee, a global community storyteller, host, author, and survivor, guiding you through genuine unfiltered conversations. Together, we break the silence, shatter stigma, and amplify voices that need to be heard. Each episode stands as a testament to survival, healing, and reclaiming your power. Listen to I NeedBlue on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or your favorite platform. Learn more at www.eneedblue.net. Trigger warning, I NeedBlue shares real life stories of trauma, violence, and abuse meant to empower and support. Please take care of yourself and ask for help if needed. Now let's begin today's story. The holidays, a season of joy, connection, and travel. But let's be real, it's also the time when distractions are at their peak. Between shopping crowds, packed schedules and long to do lists, it's easy to let your guard down. That's why situational awareness matters now more than ever. Not because we should live in fear, but because being prepared is power. My guest today knows all about that. Meet James Sifu of Wa Lum Kung Fu, a master instructor whose wisdom goes beyond martial arts. I've seen his demonstrations firsthand and trust me, the lessons he shares could change the way you move through the world. Wait until you hear about something he calls mugger money. Without further ado, James, thank you for being my guest and welcome to the I Need Blue Podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you, Jen. How you doing?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm doing great. Thank you so much. How are you?

SPEAKER_00:

I'm doing great today.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, we're in Florida, so it can only be so bad with the sun shining and the heat. So, you know, I really would like to start out with how your path led you to where you are today, helping others to protect themselves. Can we talk a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. It's been quite a journey for me. Um, I started as a teenager in the martial arts with the normal interest in just being very active. I was always drawn to the uh the art of the martial arts as well as the learning of fighting. But as I got older and started to instruct others, uh things have changed quite a bit for me. And now I see the benefits that it provides for children and adults. So my focus has really changed to more of a community awareness and helper.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. I think that that is actually great. And it's a great resource for parents as well, with kids who have a lot of uh energy, if you will.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

A very um productive way for them to get that out and learn valuable skills because what you teach goes beyond just situational awareness tips. Do you want to share a little bit of those um things that you teach, like discipline, things like that?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. One of the most rewarding parts of what I do is teaching the children. I have taught thousands of kids over the years. And although they may only stay a year or two, some stay longer, they come back and you realize the impact they have when they come back and they say how much it meant to them, how much it changed them, how it made them more confident in school, how it made them able to focus on school and not be so worried about being bullied, or what if this happens, or what if that happens. They've experienced some challenges. And that's one of the things that we really promote in the children's class is we push them to push themselves past their comfort level and do things that are physically demanding, push-ups and sit-ups and kicks, things that also are muscularly painful, long stances, and uh things that are really building of character. They're uh none of them are harmful to them, obviously, but uh but they're difficult. And I think sometimes today, our children don't get difficult in their life very often. And they need to be aware that that's gonna happen. It's gonna happen in school, it's gonna happen in work, and they need to know how to work through those difficulties. We help reinforce all the things that parents are trying to teach them, um, but becomes white noise at some point in all children's lives. So they hear somebody else say it and suddenly they say, Oh, how about that?

SPEAKER_01:

Now let's jump ahead to us adults. Our timing is perfect for this when we finally connected here is because we're coming upon the holidays and we both agreed that it would be a great time for you to share because we are very distracted at this time. We have our little list that we're paying attention to, crossing off of getting our Thanksgiving meals or Christmas gifts, whatever it may be. But being more distracted makes us more of a target. And so our goal today was for you to go through some really important tips.

SPEAKER_00:

Sure, I'd be happy to. Like you said, uh, distractions are the enemy. And during the holiday season, it's easy to be distracted. We're a little bit um, well, we're excited, right? Because things are coming up. We have we have a long list of uh food that needs to be bought and things that need to be prepared. And it's easy to forget our situational awareness. And it's one of the things we talk about here at the Kung Fu school. Situational awareness is not just looking at the things around you, but it's also parts and pieces of how you live your life. You make habits, and you can make good habits, you can make bad habits. I know that in today's day and age, everybody has a phone. It's easy to be distracted by a phone, but I think we have all seen people walking down the street looking at their phone, which is a very poor defensive position. Um, if you're in a shop or in a supermarket or leaving the supermarket, crossing the parking lot, that's one of the things we want to make a good habit of, and that's to put the phone away and pay attention to our surroundings. Look at the people around you. Look at the exits and the vehicles that are around you. When you go out to the parking lot, see what vehicles are parked next to your vehicle. If something looks suspicious, maybe call for someone to come out from let's say you're a public, you can always ask somebody to come out and help load the car, even if you don't need it. There's um possibility of somebody following you or somebody's behavior just doesn't fit what you're expecting. And this is another area that I talk about, and that's trusting your instincts. It is in our nature to notice when things don't feel right. But sometimes, if we're in a familiar setting like our local publics or our wherever our supermarket is, we may dismiss those feelings and think, oh, well, I'm I'm just being paranoid. Well, paranoid can be a good thing in some in some situations. So trust your instincts, listen to your gut feelings. If you feel like something is wrong about a situation, then take a second and make a plan, which brings me to the next part I think we're going to talk about, and that's planning ahead.

SPEAKER_01:

Go right on ahead. I love it.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. So one of the other things that I talk about with my students and with people that I help with self-defense is preparing ahead of time, having a plan in your mind so that when something happens that we hope never happens, at least our brain has something to fall back to. If we don't have a plan, the unfortunate thing is we often will fall to the attacker's plan because they seem to know what they want to do. And it's human nature. We just we tend to follow. And that's not a good thing when we're in a situation where our life or our property could be in danger. And that also brings up things we want to think about for scenarios. What is it that the person is confronting us about? Are they interested in theft or is it assault or abduction? Those are very different situations. And we want to have a plan that fits all of those. That plan needs to be to escape the situation. Even if you're very good at self-defense, escape should always be the goal. Fighting your way out, um, making a point, uh, beating somebody down is not the way you want to go into it. You want to have an escape plan. And the reason for that is your attacker got to choose the place, the time, and possibly the number of people. Always assume that there's more than one attacker. And it'll keep your mind right. You'll always be thinking, I need to get out of here, which is exactly what we should be thinking. In addition to watching the things around you, make sure you're not on your phone, have some weapons available to you, your keys in your hand, or if you have a weapon in your purse or on your body, be prepared with it and train with it. But also be prepared for when someone assaults you. If they say to you, I want your wallet, then you know what they want and you know what their motivation is. You could throw the wallet. And this is you mentioned this at the beginning. I'll tell the story. So my father was from New Jersey. As a child or as a teenager, they got to go all over the place. New York City, at that time, New York City wasn't that safe. And it was well known that uh joggers in Central Park would often get mugged. And my father told me what they would do is they would bring muggers' money with them so that when someone jumped out at them to mug them, they wouldn't take a second beat. They would take that money out and throw it to them and keep running. And odds are the mugger, if they just wanted money, they're gonna go for the money, they're gonna leave you alone. By the time they figure out that they got distracted, you're 50 feet away or more and running, which is where you want to be. That kind of brings me to the ideas that I've always taught my students, and that is to prepare some kind of distraction. Now, maybe you don't carry muggers' money, and in today's day and age, many people don't even carry money anymore. They do everything with their cards. But having a wallet or having some kind of valuable that you could throw somewhere where they have to go get it, near their feet or somewhere slightly close to them, is a distraction and hopefully enough time for you to leave immediately.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Okay, so very well articulated. And what I would like to share is listening to your instincts and having a plan do not require formal training.

SPEAKER_00:

Correct.

SPEAKER_01:

Right? And this is why we're having the conversation today. Because if you never have the formal training, that doesn't mean you're going to become a victim.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right. Even with formal training, you could make mistakes. So, really, having a plan is the most important thing, and you don't have to have any advanced training for that. You just need to plan ahead a little bit. I encourage people to think about what could potentially happen and try to see how you could react to that. And it's nice to make it simple too. If you make a very complicated plan, your brain's going to get locked up in too many options. So having one, maybe two, simple plans is the best thing you could do because you'll default to that and you'll increase your odds. And I think we talked about that at our last session in Indian Harbor. There's no way to plan for all potential situations. However, you can increase your odds. And that's what we do in self-defense. That's what we do in the martial arts, is we're trying to increase our odds so that if something does happen, we have a better chance of reacting properly and surviving the situation. So with that in mind, I usually tell people it's a good idea to write something down, plan it out. If you think that every attack is a theft and treat it like that, you can have one plan. All of the other things that they may want are not negotiable. You can't say yes to those things. Anytime the attacker says, do this, do that, lay down on the floor. If you realize, well, that's not something I want to do, it lessens my chances of survival, then you can default back to they're here to steal something. So even if they're not asking, I'm gonna give them my distraction. I'm gonna throw it to them and I'm gonna leave as quick as I can. Having training doesn't mean that you're gonna survive, it just means it increases the odds. And I do tell everybody that I talk to that it's not a bad idea to get some training. If people are interested in that, um, we obviously are a resource for that. Um, but there are many good resources out there. Having a weapon on your person is not always a solution unless you've been trained well with it. So a lot of people will default to carrying a firearm. But if you're not real burst with your firearm, that can actually be a liability as well. It takes a while to get a firearm out and ready. And a lot of things can go wrong in the process of that. So having a plan that doesn't require a lot of practice or a lot of advanced training is a good idea for everybody.

SPEAKER_01:

And would you agree that uh, let's say your car keys or something like that, having it in your purse as you're walking through that parking lot is not a good idea, especially if taking your purse is their objective. Well, now they've just taken your way that you thought you would defend yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right. So there are a lot of things you can use to make a hand or a fist more damaging. So that if someone did grab you and you had to strike out, there are many little trinkets that you can buy that you could have. And they could be attached to your keys or not. Um, but you do want to plan ahead. Somebody once told me, well, I could throw my phone, but if you throw your phone, that was your lifeline to call somebody. So again, planning ahead and thinking, well, maybe I'll carry a dummy phone. That phone that I was supposed to trade in and never actually gave to anybody, that's in the drawer at home, I can put that in my purse or I can put that in my pocket. And when they ask for something, I can throw them that phone and I can leave. By the time they figure out that phone isn't working, I'm gonna be long gone.

SPEAKER_01:

And the buddy system?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, having somebody there. Uh, like we mentioned at the beginning, if you feel that there is any danger, always a good idea, just like the attacker, bring help. If you can be somewhere with uh a girlfriend or another or a boyfriend, and you know that uh the area you're going into is maybe a little bit risky, you've increased the odds that someone will mess with you.

SPEAKER_01:

And say somebody is chasing you. Yell, scream, particular word you should yell that might get attention.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so you've brought me right along to the next thing that I was gonna talk about, and that is defensive postures and reactions. So once you have set up a plan for what I'm gonna do, there's a couple things that you can do to increase your potential for surviving the situation. One is you want to try to find the direction that you want to leave and not run randomly. So you want to look around and see if there's anybody that may be a friendly face. A police officer is an obvious one, right? But a family or uh an open store where you could go in and hopefully solicit help. Um, if there are people around, you want to make noise, you want to draw attention to the fact that you're being attacked. Sometimes in the cities, people won't get involved. But if you look, if you yell out fire, or if you yell something that may bring them over, that's what you're looking for. You're looking for something that's gonna make the attacker give a second thought. Any kind of movement you make, you don't want to uh alert them that you'll run it until you know you've got a gap. If they attack and you turn around and run, you've actually given them a chance to attack you. So you need to create a distance or a delay. You need about one to three seconds to safely be able to escape. And throwing something to the ground that distracts them usually provides about a second. If you're further away, if your attacker was foolish and attacked you from a distance, that allows you enough space to ditch and run. But if they're very close, you may actually have to push or shove to create that distance so that they're off balance just for a second, so that you can get away. Your turning and running takes one to three seconds, depending on the surroundings. But you want to look for where you're going so that you're not randomly running. You want to look for an exit route.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that you said posturing up because that also looks like somebody walking with confidence, right? They're head up, they're not distracted, making eye contact, being aware.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. You've said it perfectly. You want to not look like a target. Having a person with you makes you less likely to look like a target. If you look like you're not distracted, you look less like a target. Um, if you look confident, you're less of a target. All of those things add to the percentage chances for you. And that's all we can do, right? At any point, someone could attack. And I do tell people to be realistic. If you have gotten into a situation where maybe you shouldn't have, but it's too late for that. You need to know that something has to be done on your side of it. You can't follow the directions of the attacker where there's an a decreasing chance of escape every time you obey them. If it gets to the point where you actually have been confronted, you need to know a couple things that people I guess I would call them myths or misinformations about self-defense. Nobody is too weak to defend themselves. I often will hear from people that are smaller in stance or women, if no, I'm too weak. If a if a large male attacks me, what am I gonna do? But not attacking is not an option. If you're in that position, you've got to do something. So if everything you've planned you do and it doesn't work, then striking out is the last thing. And you want to strike out with all your power, that's when training will help you because it'll increase your ability to strike efficiently. Also, people sometimes will be told by an attacker not to make noise. Well, that goes to my don't listen to them, they're the bad guy. So make noise. If you if you scream, maybe they'll hurt you. Well, they might. But if you don't scream, they probably are gonna hurt you anyway. So scream. Hopefully, someone will come to your rescue or to your help. If someone is smaller and you've got a bigger attacker, you can still defend yourself, but you have to focus on technique, awareness, where your strength lies. You're not gonna try to hit somebody in the head if they're feet taller than you. But there's all kinds of things alone in all kinds of areas that you can hit. Hitting those properly, it comes with training, but striking after vulnerable areas, um, if you could reach them, like the groin and the eyes, are efficient and effective.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. And you know, going back to the the planning is so important because um if you get in the habit of every time, and again, we're not living in fear, but every time you walk out of the store, just scan the parking lot, put your phone in your purse, whatever. Now you're training yourself that every time you're out in public to just be aware.

SPEAKER_00:

Correct.

SPEAKER_01:

And as you train yourself, same thing like with a handgun, is is you have that muscle memory. So it'll help you to not be quite so panicked should you are become in a situation because you've been training your mind.

SPEAKER_00:

That's exactly correct. And that's what I would end with on this is that coming up with a plan for making yourself more aware and implementing those is how you're going to create those good habits today. So, today, tomorrow, the next day, think about these things when you're at the gas station, when you're at the supermarket, when you're walking on the road or at the beach. Think about these positions of defense and good habits and start to make them part of what you do every day. In addition to that, think about some of the plans that we've talked about. And what would you do if somebody were to step in front of you and block your exit or try to get a hold of you in a parking lot? What would you do to make that distraction and be able to get away? One of the important things I'd stress is staying calm, keeping a clear head, and working whatever plan you put in your head.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that is all so valuable. Is there anything that we have missed or that you would like to add before we close today?

SPEAKER_00:

No, I think this is a good start and you know, reaffirming that practicing self-defense is just the increasing of confidence and percentages. Um, I would encourage people to practice this, practice this, practice this. If anybody wanted more information, they could reach out to you. We are located in Melbourne, and I'm happy to give advanced training. Um, if people want to become students at Wallum Kung Fu.

SPEAKER_01:

Perfect. And I will have all of that information in the show notes uh as well. So it makes it easy for people to find. But James, thank you so much for all of this information. I really appreciate it, and I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00:

You're very welcome. I'm glad we could get this information out there, and I'd be happy anytime to do a follow-up.

SPEAKER_01:

I love it. I love it. This is something, again, we could revisit every six months. Well, I mean, we could revisit it every day. That's reality. In all yeah, in all reality, but um, certainly we'll we'll connect again uh in the future.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks, Jen. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01:

You're welcome and thank you for listening. This is Jen with the I Need Blue podcast. You can learn anything and everything about I Need Blue at ineedblue.net. And remember, you are stronger than you think. Until next time.

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Jennifer Lee

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