She Carried Her in Her Heart for 7 Years | Tammy's Adoption Story

There’s a version of the adoption conversation that feels too small, too rushed, and too boxed into false either-or choices. So we made space for something deeper: Tammy Tuttle’s story of “the third choice” and the long, faith-led road that brought her daughter, Remy, home. Tammy is a mother of five who started with a simple desire to adopt, then spent years learning patience through closed doors, doubts, and the kind of waiting that tests your peace.

We talk through what adoption actually looks like on the ground: overseas adoption barriers, domestic infant adoption realities, and the practical steps that matter most, including contacting local family adoption attorneys, completing a home study, and getting adoption paperwork finished before an opportunity appears. Tammy shares the moment she finally surrendered the desire to God, asking for it to be removed if it wasn’t meant for their family, and waking up with a calm confidence she couldn’t manufacture.

Then everything changes with one phone call and an impossible timeline. Tammy tells the birth story that still brings her to tears: meeting Savannah, receiving an invitation into the delivery room, and witnessing the courage it takes for a birth mother to choose adoption. We also explore what people rarely say out loud, including the grief adoptive parents can feel for a birth mom after leaving the hospital, and the surprising, beautiful bond that can grow even when an adoption begins as “closed.” Tammy closes with how she tells Remy her adoption story with love, why Remy’s compassion matters, and the scripture that reshaped how she sees adoption.

If this story moves you, help us reach the next listener who needs hope: subscribe, share this episode, and leave a review. What does “the third choice” mean to you?

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The background music is written, performed and produced exclusively by Melissa Turri.
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Transcript

Welcome And Trigger Warning

SPEAKER_00 0:01

I'm grateful you're here today. I'm Jennifer Lee, and this is the Healing and Sharing podcast. If parts of your past still feel close, childhood wounds, loss, or moments that continue to shape you as you unpack them, this space was created for you. The Healing and Sharing is where women tell their stories honestly, connect through shared experience, and take steps towards healing together, letting others know they are not alone. Here, survival becomes strength. Before we begin, a gentle trigger warning: this podcast includes discussions of domestic violence, childhood trauma, and other sensitive topics. Please take care of yourself and ask for help if needed. You always come first. Thank you to Melissa Turrey for composing the beautiful opening melody. To learn more, visit thehealingandsharing.com. Now let's begin today's journey. Some stories remind us that when God places something on your heart, it's there for a reason, even if the path to it takes longer than you expect. Today you'll hear the story of Tammy Tuttle, a mother of five whose journey to her youngest child started long before she was born. Tammy always had a love for kids and began her career as a teacher. She got married and quickly found herself raising four kids in what she affectionately calls wonderfully overwhelming chaos. Life was full, busy, blessed, but deep down she sensed God placing a very specific calling on her heart, adoption. The path wasn't simple, but there were doubts, closed doors, long waits, and moments when it seemed like it might never happen. But one night, after fully surrendering that desire to God, Tammy woke up with a peace she couldn't explain. What happened next would link her family to a young woman facing an impossible choice and eventually bring a little girl named Remy into their lives. This episode serves as a powerful reminder that when we entrust our deepest desires to God, he responds in ways far more beautiful than we could ever imagine. Tammy, thank you for being my guest today, and welcome to the Healing and Sharing Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Thank you so much. And I'm just I feel so honored and blessed to be able to share this beautiful story that God's given us. So thank you. You're so welcome.

The Third Choice And A Calling

SPEAKER_00 3:08

And I've already had the honor of hearing this story. And before we get started, I said I have my Kleenex ready because it is emotionally joyful. And as you like to put it, this is the third choice, and it's not a topic that is so much talked about. So I'm glad that uh that you're here to share your story with us today. Yes, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

I I know I just recently heard that a few months ago, um, a new term that was being talked about called the third choice. Uh, because you know, in society, when a woman finds that she's pregnant, it seems like, you know, our whole society has made her feel that there's two choices to make. You can either have the baby or abort the baby. But they're leaving out the third choice. The most wonderful, beautiful choice that we've been able to experience, my prayer has been is just for God to show me little spots in my life where I can share the beautiful things that He has done for us and the beautiful story of adoption. And it it might inspire a family that's wanting to adopt, or it might inspire um a birth mom. Again, I thank you for allowing me to share it with you. Of course.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

And speaking of sharing, I want to invite everybody to go to the website as well. Tammy wrote a blog uh about her story to also uh correspond with our conversation today. So if you enjoy reading, um, go check that out on um the healinginsharing.com. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

So yeah, your your introduction kind of led right into this. My husband and I had four children, um, one right after the other. So it was just boom, boom, boom, boom. I remember feeling so, you know, wonderfully blessed. It was funny because I have a grandmother that would call me every day and be like, okay, you're done, right? Because she was the oldest of 13 children. You know, you're the one helping the mom with everything. And so I feel like maybe she felt like she missed out on just being a kid. Maybe every time I would tell her I was pregnant again, I felt like she was mad at me. And so I remember after four thinking, um, you know, okay, mama, yes, yes, I feel like, you know, we're complete, you know, we're complete. And I really had that peace that we were. So it wasn't long after my youngest son, he was a toddler running around, and I just started feeling that desire in my heart. But I knew God specifically put the calling for adoption on my heart. I just thought, okay, just start praying about this. And when I first brought it up to my husband, he was um as the protector of our family. He was very concerned about a lot of the things that can go wrong with adoption. There's so many risks as the protector. He did, he didn't want us to get disappointed or hurt. You know, so I feel like it was hard for him at first to really uh surrender that control and being that protector of our family where he was willing to take those risks and say, let's go, you know, let's do this thing. Um, it's funny because I remember praying so many times, you know, Lord, I know you've put this on my heart. And I know you want my husband and I to be in agreement on this. So you're gonna have to change his heart because uh he's gotta, you know, be just as sure as I am on this. It was years where you feel really, you know, excited about just jumping and doing it. Um, but I knew nothing about adoption. I knew nothing about any of it. So I was just researching and looking here and looking there. And I've I just felt like I was in a big mess of like all of this information and not knowing which way to go. And again, that's where prayer came in, just Lord, okay, there's so much out there, you know, you tell me which way to go. And so it was years when my husband finally said, you know, why are we look, why are you looking into overseas adoption? And, you know, when I'm sure there's, you know, babies in our own community and, you know, here in our, you know, in our area that need a home, that need love and, you know, need a family. And that was like the light bulb moment that I had been praying for because I I didn't bring it up. He, you know, he said that. And I thought, okay, this is gonna happen. God's changing his heart. God just, you know, put that in his heart. And so I think that was important because then he felt at peace about it. It was like God was guiding him too. Something that's so important that God taught me through this is just being patient. I mean, we we live in a society where we want it now. You know, we're talking years and years of praying about something. It's important to remember that he's orchestrating it all. If you know for sure the calling is from God and it's still not happening, there's a reason. There is a reason, and and it can be so frustrating.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

During this time, while you're going through the process of trying to adopt, what were the conversations? What did they sound like with your four other children in the house? Were they aware? Yes.

Overseas Vs Local Adoption Basics

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Yes, yes. And they were so excited about adoption. My oldest daughter specifically was just, yes, yes, you know, she thought it was just so excited about it. They all were very aware of it, they knew about it. But again, they're, you know, they're having their busy day-to-day lives of school and sports. And I'm glad that you mentioned that because I feel it was so important for them to be on that journey with us, right? To see that, oh, mom has this calling from God. It didn't get answered right away, but we're just still being faithful and praying about it. And we're still gonna just wait and let God guide us through this. When she was in high school, my oldest daughter, right after God gave us Remy, she was in an English course where they had to write an I believe statement. She wrote an I believe statement about adoption that she believed strongly in adoption after she had, you know, turned it in and she brought it home and she handed it to me and I read it and I just, I just cried. It was just so beautiful. And it kind of let me see what the journey was like from her perspective, you know, as as a as a child watching. And at the end of the paper, she said, because of the journey, that she could not wait to become a mom one day and that she would love to be a mom through adoption. It inspired her and touched her so deeply. She's actually engaged, getting married soon. And so she still says, yes, that adoption is still very much on her heart. I love that. You know, it's just beautiful to see that.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

I love that too. Explain the differences in trying to adopt someone overseas versus trying to adopt someone right here in your in your backyard in the United States.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Yes. I remember I researched um China because I I knew a family in our church that had adopted a little girl from China. And I thought, well, let me just start there and research that. That was a very quickly closed door because the first agency I called about that said that you could only have, I don't know if it's still the same thing, but that you could only have three biological children if you wanted to adopt a child from China. Well, we had four, so that closed that door. I just was kind of Googling all these things, not knowing anything about it. A lot of them, they have, you know, rules where they would keep the baby in um in a home until like a year and a half, 18 months was the soonest that you could um actually bring the baby home with you. You know, adoption laws for each country and feeling very defeated and disappointed after I would like see everything that was involved. And it can be very overwhelming, you know, when you're trying to look into adoption when you don't know anything. Looking back, my advice and I tell any any friends or any family members that I know of that uh, you know, have adoption on their heart, find your local uh family adoption attorneys in your area and just call them and tell them, you know, we're a family praying about adoption. Can you can you put me on the list? Can you put me on your list in case you have a birth mom that comes in looking for a family? You know, could you reach out to me? And in the meantime, make sure that you have all of your paperwork ready because that was crucial with the story with Remy. If we had not in faith stepped out, gotten all of our adoption paperwork ready, we would not have been able to have adopted Remy because her birth mom at the time that she reached out was seven and a half months pregnant. So she was due in six weeks. So they specifically needed a family that had all of the paperwork completed. If you know for sure that this is a calling from God, take that step of faith, get all of your paperwork completed. And that way when God does bring the opportunity, you're ready and waiting. Um, and you have all of your things taken care of.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

How long did it take you to get your paperwork ready? So someone listening has an idea.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

It was a long process. Again, I was raising four children, busy schedule, you know, at the time. So we were very, very busy and we would, you know, do everything as we could. It took uh almost a full year. Um it was health checkups for my husband and myself. I still can't believe I had to show that our our animals were up to date, our pets were up to date on their vaccinations and their, you know, checkups at the veterinarian, all the fingerprinting. There was a lot of little stuff that had to be checked off. That's important to have that part done. You know, you're preparing for the miracle.

Surrender, Peace, And A Setback

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Yes. And then in your moment of, are we really supposed to do this, God? Like it's taking a long time. But as I said in the introduction, there was, you know, a moment.

A Church Phone Call Changes Everything

Delivery Room Moments And A Sign

Honoring Birth Moms And Staying Connected

Telling Remy Her Story With Care

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Special moments, like you remember exactly where you were. So I I remember I was in the bathtub, bubble bath, shut the door. I was all alone. I thought, I'm just gonna cry in here because I didn't want the kids to see me crying. And I didn't want, you know, my husband to see me crying over it. I wanted to just be alone and cry with God. And so I said, Lord, I feel like this just is not meant to happen. Maybe this isn't even from you. So I'm asking you in this moment to just take this desire from my heart. I thank you for the beautiful, amazing family that I have. You've blessed me beyond measure. And so I'm so thankful for that. And I just give this desire, I'm asking you to just take it from my heart because I don't want to want something that you don't want for our family and for us. I gave it back to God. I can just be free from it now. Went to bed that night, and there's really just no way to explain it, except I woke up with the most amazing feeling in my heart. It was still there. But not only was the desire still there, it was stronger. And I was like, okay, God, you're gonna do this. This is so amazing because you're my beautiful, amazing, loving, wonderful father in heaven. If I cried out to you and I gave you my heart and just said, please take this desire from me if it's not from you. So that was a really big moment for me. And it's like exciting for me, 14 and a half years later, for me to talk about. And so we got our paperwork ready. We found a local adoption agency that helped us with that, told us what to do. Then the adoption agency would ask you to prepare a little book that told about your family, almost like a scrapbook. And you would put pictures in and just, you know, tell about the things you love to do and just to kind of um show what your family was like. And so a birth mom chose us with the adoption agency from looking at our book. And I remember we got the call. This birth mom has chosen you. She wants to do a phone call with you. Oh my goodness, I was so excited. You know, did the phone call with her. I was excited, but it's funny because I thought, gosh, why am I feeling a little bit unsettled with this? So it was kind of a scary feeling, but I thought, okay, maybe it's just my nerves, you know. So waited. And then we had uh like a week or two later, we had another phone call with her. You know, a few days after that second phone call, the adoption agency called us and said, This birth mom has decided to go another route. She wants to hire a private attorney and not go through an adoption agency. And so we're so sorry to tell you that that just kind of fell through at the moment. And I was like, oh, that's why I had that uneasy feeling, you know. And it was like, again, God assuring me, you know, that he was guiding everything. He was, he was behind it all. So I remember our family members and everyone thinking, you know, oh my gosh, you know, I'm so sorry. Are you so upset? And I was like, you know, really, I'm not. Like, I'm not upset. I just had a piece, you know, about it. When things kind of fall through or when things don't work out the way you want it to, it's for a reason because they're not supposed to. It's because God already has the plan for you and that's not it. And so um, after that fell through, it wasn't long. I love this too because I've I've already got goosebumps. I can't, I get so excited. But um, so when you're praying about something and it's years and years and years of closed doors, you know, of course that can be very defeating and very, you know, disappointing. But when it starts happening, oh my gosh, the open doors just start flying open. We got a phone call one day and my friend called me from church. Um, she went to my church, she worked at the church. She had never ever worked in the front office. She had never filled in as the receptionist before. That day, the receptionist wasn't there. They asked my friend if she could answer the phones that day. By the way, my friend knew that we had been praying about adoption for years. So she answers the phone and it's a it's a local adoption attorney that just happened to go to our church. And she says, I have this girl, you know, this young woman, she's seven and a half months pregnant and she's looking for a family to adopt uh her child. Do you know if you have any families in the church that um are, you know, looking to adopt and they have to have their paperwork ready because she's doing six weeks. Well, my friend immediately thought of me and called me and she just said, you know, Tammy, are you guys still praying about adopting? And I said, Yes. And she said, please tell me you have your paperwork all ready. And I said, Yes, we actually do. And she said, Okay, you got to call this number. So right then I had goosebumps and I I felt, oh my gosh, this, this, this is it. I, you know, and and so I called the number. The attorney said, Can you come in and talk? And so I obviously dropped everything, got went right in there and talked to her. She said, just tell me about your family, tell me about yourself. You know, I was telling her, and I look up and I literally see her like tears, like she's starting to cry. And I said, Oh my gosh. And she said, This is just amazing. She said, every single thing you're telling me is what this birth mom has asked for in the family to adopt her baby. And she, you know, she said, it's I just, it's like everything you're saying. I was so excited. You know, she's due in six weeks. The birth mom wants it to be a closed adoption, um, which I was fine with whatever the birth mom wanted. You know, those six weeks flew by. I didn't tell anyone this. This was a prayer between me and God. But I thought, Lord, how wonderful would it be to be there, you know, when our child is born and to be with the birth mother and be there the night before she was born. Uh, I got a call. It was like 9:30 at night. Um, the C-section was scheduled at like 10 a.m. And the attorney said, Could you possibly come earlier? Or do you want to be? She said, I know this is crazy, but the birth mom just called and said that she would love for you to be in the delivery room if you'd like to be. That she said, You are her mother. She carried her for you, and you are the first person she wants to hold the baby, touch the baby, and see the baby. And I just lost it because I thought, God, you even answered that one, you know, prayer that was between me and you. I mean, it just blew me away how he just cares about even the little details. So I got to be in the delivery room and I got to hold Remy, touch her, kiss her. The doctor was sobbing and crying. It was just a moment that I will, I will never, ever, ever forget. But I do have to share one thing that happened when I before Remy was born. I came in and I didn't even know Remy's birth mom's name at that point. She didn't know mine. I walk in and she's, you know, prepping there, they were prepping her for surgery. And I came in and immediately just hugged her, held her, hugged her for the longest time. She said, Hi, I'm Savannah. And I said, Hi, I'm Tammy. And when I said my name, she started crying even more. And I thought, okay, she's not sure, you know, and this is okay. Like if I'm just here today to be here for her and help her with whatever she needs, I had already decided, you know, I want what she wants. I'm here for her too, you know? And she said, I have been praying for a sign from God that I'm making the right choice and I'm doing the right thing. And I've just, she said, I've just been in such prayer, waiting for a sign. And she said, I just lost my mom and her name was Tammy. And I was just like, oh my Lord, oh my gosh. So we just hugged and cried some more. And that was beautiful. That was a beautiful moment. She just asked me if I would just rub her head during the surgery, during the C-section. And so I stayed right with her. I held her, I rubbed her head. Um, and it it was like one of those moments I remember where I was torn because after Remy was born, I didn't want to leave Savannah. I didn't want to leave her. You know, I wanted to be with her too. Just so many moments. But in another pivotal moment was after Remy was born. I stayed with Savannah for a while. And then we I went back into the little nursery. And Remy was in the little bed, and my husband and I went in. And oh my gosh, she was just this beautiful, beautiful, healthy, precious baby. And my whole family, all the kids and my mom, like they were all their faces looking in the little glass, you know, looking into the nursery. And I'll I took, I took a picture. I'll never forget the excitement on their face looking in at their new little sister. Uh, Remy just reached up and grabbed my husband's pinky and held on to it and wouldn't let go. And she was just so strong and so beautiful. And and so while we're in this big happy moment, the nurse came over to me and said, Um, Savannah wants to see you again. And I thought, again, in my heart, I thought, it's okay. If she tells me she's changed her mind, I'm okay with that. Like I want, you know, I wanted to be there for her too. I was fine with her changing her mind. Like in my heart, it just kept, you know, I was kind of worried about that. Like, okay, I don't want to get too attached because what if the birth mom changes her mind? So I just like gave it all to God. And so I walked back into where Savannah was sitting and she just said, I'm so sorry, but I just had to ask you is she everything you hoped for? And I just like it makes me cry every time I get to that when I tell that part because she's just so selfless in that moment. She wasn't thinking about herself. She was just hoping and and and wanting to know if when we saw Remy and all the family saw her, if like if it was everything we had hoped for. And I just said, Oh my gosh, Savannah, she's so much more. She's so much more than I ever could dream of or hope for. And again, I just held Savannah and stayed with her for a while. But it was just one of those, you know, beautiful moments I talk about in the blog. Um, birth moms. Like we do not as a society give enough honor to birth moms in these stories, just the selfless courage that they show and and and the love. And uh, you know, I just in the beauty of choosing life, want the world to honor birth moms so much more and talk about them so much more than they do. I reached out to Savannah. So, yes, it was a closed adoption, but we made it our own way. Like it's so funny because, you know, the attorneys were very particular. Three pictures a year, you know, da-da-da-da. And we've just kept wanting to reach out to each other. Savannah wanted it to be closed because she wanted Remy just to have, she told me she wanted her just to have the nor a normal life growing up. She didn't want to complicate it with a birth mom. And, you know, I told her whatever she wanted, I was fine with. I kept reaching out to the attorneys, you know, can you send Savannah this? And she'd reach out to the attorneys. Oh, can you tell Tammy this? And so we got they got to the point they go, can we just give each give you guys each other's emails so we can get out of this? We were bugging them so much because we kept wanting to talk to each other, which was so funny. So we were able to, you know, start and we've we've kept that communication for Remy is now 12 and a half years. For 12 and a half years, we have kept that, and we also do phone calls. Uh, we we talk, we just hear each other and talk um at least, you know, once or twice a year. We email probably every other month. But I did have a moment that I wanted to share when we got home from the hospital with Remy. I never expected this. So this is something that I I don't know if um adoptive moms or expect, because I never expected this. This kind of blew me away. I couldn't stop thinking about Remy's birth mom because here I am with this miracle, right? This beautiful baby in my arms. And I'm thinking, her arms are empty. Like she just went through a C-section. You know, she's got pains and she's hurting. And when you have a baby in your arm, it makes in your arms, it makes it all worth it, you know. But here she is going through all of that. And then she just leaves the hospital and her arms are empty. And I could not stop thinking of her. And it, I I couldn't stop crying, feeling for her. I couldn't stop worrying about her. Um, it like hurts my heart to think of it right now, even just how much I worried about her. And I worried that maybe she had changed her mind. I just I felt guilty. Like here I am with this beautiful gift in my arms, and she doesn't have that. And so I called the attorney and I just said, you know, I I can't stop crying, thinking of Savannah. And I just have to know that she's okay. I have to know that she's at peace with her decision. If she's changed her mind, it's okay. I'm fine with that. I just have to know. They called her and called me back and said, she said to tell you right now to put a huge smile on your face to let you know that she is so at peace and she is so happy that Remy is with you because you are her mother. She would say, I know that you all along were Remy's mother, and I just carried her for you. I just grew such a beautiful, beautiful bond with her to this day. It's even stronger. I don't think people talk about that a lot either, the bond between an adopted mom and a birth mom and the beautiful moments that they share. They have forever. I wrote that blog about birth moms. I just emailed her that little section and I read it and I sent it to her. I said, I'm doing a podcast about Remy's story. And she said, Oh my gosh, tell everything. Please tell them everything. And when I sent her the little section about the birth mom, she said, Can I respond to that? Would you, is it okay if I if I say something? And I said, Yes, yes, say what, you know, say what you want. And I I thought, you know, maybe I could even share it. And so I just jotted down what she emailed back to me. And she's she wrote, so these are Savannah's words. We bonded, we became family. We lift each other up. We have so much trust and love in our connection. Tammy, you are my angel. I'm not the angel. I get to see photos of Remy and hear all about her. You and I talk and laugh each time until we cry. I'm not the special one. You are. I wish you could see it from my side, but really we will argue this one until one of us finally gives in, and I'm right, so it won't be me. You have the special heart. Do you remember how you refused to leave my side? Do you remember that you stayed with me when I felt scared and alone? And I told you, go be with your little girl. You rubbed my head and you told me that I was okay. Do you remember all the tears you cried over me? You are my angel, my sister. You give me peace. You are my world that has held sweet Remy through all of her days. You are the one who reminds her every day that she's amazing, kind, and beautiful. You are her amazing mother, and Remy will share every legacy of your beautiful soul with her children, with the people in her life, and even with strangers. I thank God every day for you. You are the kindest love that I have ever encountered. And so those were her words. And so I have such a beautiful, beautiful bond with her. We do, we argue because I tell her every every time I talk to her that she's my angel, that she's my hero, that I look up to her so much. And she gets mad at me and says, Stop, you're my angel, you're the angel. So we always argue about who loves each other more. And uh and we're able just to um, like she said, we laugh and cry together every time we talk. She's the most selfless and courageous and most beautiful, beautiful heart. That her heart is just so beautiful that I've ever known. And and I the cool part is when Remy does something that's just really shows her compassion and kindness and selflessness to another, you know, kid in her class or to a family member or something, it's the coolest feeling in the world because I get to feel double proud. I get to feel proud as her mom, but I also feel proud for Savannah because I call it like, you know, the a double dose of a proud mom moment because when she makes that achievement that she's been working for, you know, when or when she, you know, shows that beautiful heart of hers and and does something so sweet for someone in my heart. I feel like that I'm proud of her, but I know Savannah is too. And like I feel like she feels it somehow, just somehow she does. And so it's just beautiful. And I I know that one day we will all meet each other. I've I've told Savannah this because Savannah says, you don't ever have to feel like Remy has to meet me or and she says, let Remy decide. Let Remy decide because she may not ever want to meet me. And if she doesn't, it's okay. I just know in my heart that we're going to. We're gonna all be together. We're going to meet. We've, you know, I've shared Remy's beautiful adoption story with her. Um, you know, age appropriate. I've I've always prayed, God give me the words to tell Remy about her beautiful story in a way that makes her always feel so prayed for, so wanted, so loved. You know, help her feel you in this story. And I've always asked for God to give me his words. And he has done that all along the way. I've shared with Remy, you know, that she grew in my heart. She didn't grow on my belly. She grew in my heart for seven years. I told her, you know, most babies only grow in their mom's belly for nine months, but you grew in my heart for almost seven years. And when she was little, she would go down all the kids. She would say, Well, was Riley? That's my oldest son. She'd say, Was Riley born? Did he grow in your heart? I'd say, no, he only grew in my belly. And she'd say, What about Carly? Nope, she grew in my belly. Cole? Nope. Caden, nope. They all grew in my belly. Remy, you're the only one that grew in my heart. Look how special that is. That's so beautiful and so special that you grew in my heart for seven years. And so she loved to hear that story when she was little. When she was probably like eight, I said, you know, you have a birth mom and a birth dad. You have mommy and daddy, but you also have a birth mom and a birth dad. And so she said, Tell me about that. And so I, you know, I told her and I said, Your birth mom carried you in her belly, and she knew that God told her that you were meant to be our baby. And she said, Um, so how did that happen? Where were you when I was born? I said, I was right there. I got to be right there. I was the first one to hold you and see you and touch you and kiss you. Your birth mom let me be in that room. And she'd say, So then you just brought me home. And I said, Yes. And she said, and my birth mom just went home and I said yes. And then she thought for a moment and she said, That must have been really hard for her. And it was just such a beautiful moment of Remy showing her heart that she didn't think of herself in that moment. She thought about what her birth mom might feel like. And then it was the best moment because she waited a minute and then she goes, but you can't argue with God. If God told her that, then that's what she had to do. And I just love that story because it's so true. You know, when you're sure that God has told you something, then you can have that peace and know that you're just following what God wants you to do, and you can't argue with God. But again, I just I want to emphasize that, you know, there is a third choice, and it's so beautiful and it's so healing, and it brings families together. And, you know, I truly believe Savannah is my family. You know, she's my family and she's Remy's birth mom. She is forever going to be a part of our life. And I look forward to the day. I can't wait till the day that Remy wants to meet her, and then we could all just hut hold each other and cry. I feel like God's giving me that vision of like the three of us just hugging and crying one day. And I can't wait for it. You know, I've told Savannah that. And she says, Well, the first thing I'm gonna tell her, you know, is you are her mom. You know, I said, Savannah, it's okay. She knows that. You know, it's just, it's so neat how Savannah, this through this whole process, has wanted to protect me and has looked out for me, you know, and like she said, I I feel like I see me and Remy too, you know. So it's just, it's been a beautiful, beautiful journey. It's been a beautiful God story. I'll never ever get over what God has done in any mountaintop where God wants me to go and share it and yell it out to the world. That's what I'm gonna do. And you just provided me with one. So thank you.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

You're so welcome. I mean, yeah, my Kleenex is like crumbled up in my in my hand in the third choice, like you said, the the recognition, the emotion behind it. And the fact that you you have a relationship with Savannah is so unique and definitely God orchestrated.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

A hundred percent, yes. A million percent, yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Oh my gosh, you know, going back, I loved that you all made that scrapbook, the family scrapbook. I know you are having conversation with your kids, but what a way to um get them involved as well and in beginning to create a memory.

Remy’s Baptism, Scripture, And Closing

SPEAKER_01 34:24

Oh, yes, yes. And um, I didn't mention the caseworker. So we also, when you're preparing for adoption, you have a caseworker that comes and interviews the whole family. They had someone um that came out on two different occasions to talk to each one of them and say, well, what do you think about, you know, adopting a a sibling? And, you know, what do you think about having a new little brother or sister? And so they were able to share, you know, their excitement and and that they were really wanting that to happen too with the, you know, with the caseworkers. So they truly felt a big part of, you know, being a big part of it, which was wonderful. And again, which was beautiful because they learned um their faith grew, you know, and they learned life lessons through watching us go through, you know, following God and being faithful to God when he puts a calling on your heart and not to give up. You know, don't give up when it doesn't happen immediately. Don't give up when all those doors are closing. Be confident in what God's put on your heart and wait for it. And what if we'd given up early? What if we hadn't persevered and waited? You know, then this beautiful story of our beautiful, precious Remy wouldn't be ours. And how old is Remy now? She was born on August 8th, 2013. So her birthday is 8-8. She had her triple golden birthday when she turned eight, right? So she turned eight on August 8th. So that was a really special day. I said, Remy, you know, we told her in the weeks leading up, we're like, you're gonna have your triple golden birthday. Like, this is amazing. You we're gonna, whatever you want for your birthday party, you tell us. Where do you want to go? Do you wanna go, you know, somewhere? Do you want to have a big party? What do you want to do? And she kept saying, you know, I'm I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. It was so cute. And then one day she said, I just I figured it out, mommy. I know what I want to do for my for my triple golden birthday. And we were so excited. We said, Okay, Remy, what is it? And she said, I want to be baptized.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

Isn't that beautiful? And so we had our family and friends all come over. We live near the beach where we can just walk to it, and we all walked together. She was baptized on her triple golden birthday. So that was a beautiful moment that God brought to our family to her. Oh, that is beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

I have to give a big thanks to Savannah as well. I just for her journey through this whole process. Uh, she's very strong, and I know that this can't be easy at all, but God is carrying her through.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

I hurt for her. I hurt for her because I know she goes, she's gone through some things that I wish I could take from her, you know, but I can't. I live, you know, far away from her now. You know, she shares with me certain hard things that she goes through, and it breaks my heart. And I just pray for her. I pray for her boys. And Savannah always wanted to know about, you know, all my other kids too. It's so sweet. It's like we just we cared so deeply about each other's families. I just I want her to have all good and and not have to go through any more hard times. But I just pray for her. I do everything, you know, in my power just to lift her up. This the conversations that Savannah and I have had. Um she's she shared with me that her faith is stronger. So that's a beautiful thing, too. There's another scripture, it's Ephesians 1.5 in the Bible, and it it talks about adoption because I love that word. My favorite word in the whole world is adoption. And in Ephesians it says, God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. We are all adopted into the family of Christ. And what a beautiful way to look at that. And that's why I love that word. I again, I'm just so thankful that um I get to talk about it today with you.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

Well, I am very thankful that you are here today, too. So thank you so much. And Tammy, thank you for being my guest today on the Healing and Sharing podcast.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Oh, thank you, Jen. Thank you so much for this opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 38:33

I'm forever grateful, some days are better than others. Wake up and you put one foot in front of the other. Same routine, same places, you just keep on pushing through. I feel level for putting everything on the line. Not sure if you would make it home, leaving it all open gods. Be replaced with all the new buttons. Lean in me, let me be with everything. I'll keep you safe from all the harm. I'll heal you from the war. The thoughts that keep you up at the little toys on my door, I will always be okay.