Janelle joins Tracy Lynn, the master of decluttering, to talk about simple ways to create systems that keep your home, and your life, clutter free. Ah!
Janelle joins Tracy Lynn, the master of decluttering, to talk about simple ways to create systems that keep your home, and your life, clutter free. Ah!
Janelle:
Hey everybody. We're going to get right to it today in talking about the gift of problems. Let me tell you what today is not going to be. This is definitely not about rah, rah, think positive. You got problems, so do I. Just put a positive spin and keep on going. It's not about that. We're really going to talk with coach Devlin here, Devlin worldwide, with our podcast, Love + Money, because we're all about doing success well. We're all about doing success while having really meaningful relationships with your significant other, with kids, making family really, really shine during the time of you also growing a business. It's also about our health, prioritizing our own health. It's about being mentally sound and having that pride that we're doing things the way that we want to do. We're walking in our gifts.
Janelle:
Then of course, we like to bring in some fun home hacks, like our next episode coming up. Things that we can use, tools to be able to make home life even more simple and maybe bring a little bit of fun into it. I want to start today with the quote, "The great goal of becoming what one is capable of becoming can be achieved only by those who are willing to pay the price. The price always involves unpleasantness, discomfort, and even pain." That's a quote from John C. Maxwell. Andrew, you did some training with John Maxwell as a John Maxwell coach a few years ago, but let's talk about problems. I have an outline for us for today that we'll kind of just jump in. You work well with me sometimes just asking you out of the blue, so you just can respond as you do with all your clients. That's your thing. As we talk about problems, what do you feel like is something with your clients that is a common problem that you're commonly coaching them through and they have these huge ahas?
Andrew:
I was doing a live event out in North Carolina a few weeks back. What always amazes me is I ask what is a very simple question. What is a problem? How would you define it to a five-year-old? It always amazes me what people say. The successful people have very different answers than the people who are struggling. A lot of people will say a problem is something that you don't want, a problem stops me getting what I want, a problem prevents me from being successful. These are common... This is what they believe problems are. If I asked my people that are doing life at an even higher level, what is the problem? They're like gifts, opportunities to solve, something that's going to take me to a higher level. It's like radically different.
Andrew:
Average people want to get rid of problems. Successful people want to create more problems. So if you want to be successful, your job is to create more problems faster. My example is for those that know Atari Computers we're massive in the 80s. How many problems does Atari have now? Zero because they're bankrupt. What about Apple? How many problems did they have on a daily basis? Thousands? Hundreds of thousands?
Janelle:
I would imagine.
Andrew:
Yeah, because if you're in business, you're going to have more problems. Now, I want quality problems, so a question I ask to audiences is who would like to owe $250,000 to the IRS for 2021. I see from the hands or the lack of hands where their psychology is. And I'm like, "Yeah, I would love to do that. I would love to owe that." Where the average person they go, "No, I want to attach rebate." And successful people go, "No, love to all that much money because it means I did $1,000,000 this year." Then, the new challenge, the new problem is how do we get to keep some of that? Now that it involves a great CPA, which is a quality problem to find one. It's a quality problem to have one. But that's what we're really looking at. We're not trying to get rid of things. We're trying to move towards them.
Andrew:
But again, so many successful people have more problems than people who are struggling. People who are just going paycheck to paycheck, they have struggle, they have problems. But the CEO of a multi-million dollar business is going to have more problems than them. Not that they're less serious or more serious, just the volume of problems. You'll see people like on the Shark Tank, the sharks don't need to make more money. They just love the game. They love growing business. They love seeing something materialized and they're not doing it for money anymore. They're doing it because they have a skillset and a passion to do it, so we want problems. If we don't have a problem in our marriage, we're probably not married. If I have no problems with my kids, I probably don't have any. If I haven't pulled a muscle, I'm probably not working out. I'm probably not exercising.
Janelle:
I'm feeling it right now. I was going to sit on ice while we did this, but yeah, it's because we're involved. We're in the game. And like we talk about a lot, we have to know the game that we're in. So what game are you in? There's going to be problems. And just like our episode before, if you guys haven't heard our first episode about the illusion of balance, that's what we talked about. That it's knowing the game that you're in. And then you're surprised. So I'm not surprised now if I get certain messages or things, whether it's from the team or... I'm not surprised because I know it's part of the game that we're in, that we're going to have to stop and problem solve. We're going to have to work through things, but it's because there's massive growth. There's going to be problems.
Andrew:
People like the idea of concepts more than the idea of reality.
Janelle:
Let's talk about that. You mentioned it a little bit last time, but let's talk about it.
Andrew:
So we got a new puppy about 12 days ago. When people think of puppies, they think of wagging tails, they think of excitement, they think of cuteness. She's got all that going on, but they don't fall in love with the reality of having a puppy. My alarm clocks been set twice a night to wake up at one to two and then four or five because she needs to go to the bathroom because she was nine weeks old or whatever when we got her. That's the reality is I haven't had a good night's sleep for ten days. Now, she's just started sleeping through the night.
Janelle:
Thankfully I'm the deep sleeper, so I can sleep [crosstalk 00:07:08].
Andrew:
Yeah, Janelle wouldn't wake up if there was an alarm.
Janelle:
I'm sleeping just fine if anyone's wondering.
Andrew:
Yeah, so I put the dog next to me because I'm the only person in the house that will wake up. One of my kids did set their alarm for 2:00 AM so that they could get up. I didn't know this... So they could get up. Where Janelle was just been gone and getting certified as a mental wellness coach, so she was gone for the week. So sweet kid, 2:00 AM, alarm clock. I wake up and it's voices in the house, so I'm on full alert running through the house thinking that there's somebody in the house.
Janelle:
I had no idea about this.
Andrew:
No, I don't think I told you. And then I realized it was talk radio. She turned on the alarm, it went onto talk radio 2:00 AM in the morning, fast asleep, full volume. All the kids were asleep. And now I'm wired because I think there's an intruder in the house.
Janelle:
That's a problem, but it's because you have awesome kids.
Andrew:
Yeah, so it was sweet. It was sweet, but anyway, I took the dog out. But the reality is the dog is going to pee and poop and chew and then run off and whatever else puppies do. But we've got to fall in love with the reality of owning a puppy. We've got to fall in love with the reality of marriage, the reality of business, because so many people, they have the concept of, "I'm going to get married. It's going to be a wonderful wedding day and we're going to live happily ever after."
Janelle:
Disney really messed us up for a lot of that I'm just going to say.
Andrew:
Yeah. Some of us didn't watch too much Disney. Some of us watched other things, but the reality is life is hard. And if you want a great marriage, it's going to be hard. And if you want a bad marriage, it's going to be hard. If you want to be in shape, it's going to be hard. If you want to be out of share it, it's going to be hard. Running your own business, it's going to be hard. And if you want to work for somebody, it's going to be hard, but we've got to choose our hard. And we've got to choose to fall in love with what the reality is of what we're doing. Like Janelle said, know the game you're in. So if you're playing monopoly and it says, "Go directly to jail. Do not pass go." Don't have a hissy fit. You're playing monopoly. If you don't like that rule, don't play monopoly. Go play chess, but don't get angry when one of your pawns gets taken because that's the game you're in.
Andrew:
With business, you're going to have personality conflicts. You're going to have record months followed by crashes. You're going, "No, my business is crumbling." It's a rollercoaster. And it's supposed to be. When you have massive growth in business, you're going to create a leadership gap because your people aren't equipped to handle that growth. So you can cheer and you can feel excited about this 40% growth in a month, but then the reality of that is you're going to have to grow your people because to hold it is something completely different than achieving it. So we've got to know what's happening. We've got to know where we're at. We're going to know that there's going to be ups and downs. And I love this Usain Bolt quote, the sprinter.
Janelle:
Oh yes. Last time, you talked about Usain.
Andrew:
Yeah. He said, "It's not what you do when you win that defines if you're a champion. It's what you do when you lose."
Janelle:
There's some great quotes from him. After that episode, actually, when I was upside down on the inversion table... I did it. [crosstalk 00:10:19]. Because he was getting after me for not doing it and using it. But I was upside down reading about Usain Bolt. And I was amazed. I saw some short videos on him. I love, and I never tire.... I don't know about you guys, when we're talking high-level here, people that don't want to live average, they want what God has for them, they want to be living their best life. But I never tire of those stories of someone coming from nothing or having worked through a challenging time and then finding that inside that allows them to be able to press on. And that is age old wisdom pressing on amidst trial.
Janelle:
That's what we're talking about problems. And we will, as we always do, share our five takeaways, but I'm hearing right now that first one is average people, they just want to get rid of problems, but successful people realize that it's creating problems. And when we know that, we're not surprised. And the second thing is the concept, realizing that there's some concepts we have and we're holding onto and that we need to instead of fall in love with the reality. Let's talk about the cycle of problems because I pulled out of my wallet, from Tony Robbins, the cycle of problems. Having worked for Tony for a while, I know this is something you have worked through. You don't need to look at this, but I do. I need this cycle. We'll share this image on our YouTube channel here with you guys so you guys can see this, but do you want to talk about that? Because we have choices. I know for me, I can get frustrated with the problem and I can want to stick there because I want a solution or because I want to have some sort of a closure, maybe understand-
Andrew:
Or some get connection.
Janelle:
Some people definitely get connection.
Andrew:
It's that the pain, the struggle, the problem becomes who they are. And they want to talk about the problem and they want to pull people into the problem. I call this basement people. There's balcony people and basement people. Basement people, you think they're there with a hand up because they want to come out the basement, they want to come out of their hole. And so you go, "You know what? I'm going to help. I want to serve." So you show up and you reach for them and you grab hands and you're like, "I'm going to help this person. I'm going to save this person. I'm going to help this person get out of their struggle, their challenge, whatever it is." And then they pull you.
Janelle:
Dang it. I thought that was only me that happened to.
Andrew:
No, they want company in their basement. And they're going to tell you, "We're family. We're friends. You should sit in the basement with me if you're a friend."
Janelle:
But wait a minute, you're maybe referring to times that I've been a basement person.
Andrew:
No.
Janelle:
But I have been. I've been on the other end trying to pull people up and I've been a basement person. And sometimes-
Andrew:
But we all have.
Janelle:
People think I'm very... Well, I am an optimist. But the truth is, with people that were closest to, they see us day in and day out. If I'm having something I'm working through, I can kind of be that basement person to you sadly, but thankfully because you know the game you're in for marriage, you support me, you help me to talk through it, you let me just talk, talk, talk as us women especially need to do sometimes and just get it out. And I feel a weight lifted off of me. And I wish it wasn't that way, but I know for me having problems sometimes I do just need to voice it whereas you internalize and kind of go, "Okay. What [crosstalk 00:13:41]?"
Andrew:
Yeah, Janelle's an external processor.
Janelle:
Know if you're an external person.
Andrew:
I'm an internal processor.
Janelle:
And I'm a processor.
Andrew:
External processing's like a bat. They need to send out a signal and see what comes back to them from other people. And then you go, "Oh, what I was feeling was right" or, "I was off." So Janelle needs to... The best place for us is walking. Because if we sit next to each other, my thinking face isn't friendly.
Janelle:
It's like a permanent grumpy face to put a nicely.
Andrew:
That's how I think. That's my thinking face.
Janelle:
Or angry face is how I interpret it. I think that's really important. Now we're talking to the relationship side. With those closest to you, as you're helping and wanting to support them working through a problem, it's really important to not just say, "Well, be a balcony person." That is important, but I think you brought up a really good point of stepping back and saying, "Okay, know how you process and know how your significant other processes." Okay. Sorry. That's messing me up with the accent.
Andrew:
I don't have an accent.
Janelle:
Okay. So know how the other person processes as well, because then you can have that knowledge, you can take a deep breath knowing, "You know what? This is just part of it. Once they express to me what they're working through and they have a safe place, the burden is lighter and we can really move on from that." So it really is a practice like anything.
Andrew:
The danger is if you're going to the basement people to help them. There's a lot of people, I know that care so much. So they're going, but they're spending so much of their time in the basement with people that don't want to leave the basement. And in the meantime, they're not going up in the balcony. What I want, I want to be around people that lift me up, pull me to that next level, and then I want to pull other people up. And we want to go up.
Andrew:
Some of my best friends, a guy called Pete from Australia, we clicked like that, we would mountain bike together. And when he smoked me, which he did a lot, I would edify him. I smoked him less, but if I did, he would edify me. And we were both on a higher level of energy at the end of every ride because we pushed each other, but we supported each other. And that's what I want. I want people that want to get better, that grow, and that we're both lifting each other up. If you have a conversation with somebody and you feel higher at the end of that conversation and they feel higher, that is something to have more of in your life. But if you're around people and you're like, "I am so drained." That's probably not somebody to hang out with. You can still help them, but it's probably not somebody many to make a peer.
Janelle:
And to really have boundaries around which has really been a growth area for me. So decide to be a balcony person. But the other half of that is to know yourself and to let others that you're in conversation with, whether it's in work, it's in the office, it's teammates, of how you processed and what works for that. So the Tony Robbins cycle of problems... Did you have one more thing you wanted to say?
Andrew:
Yeah. I've got some stuff I want to dive into with relationships, but we're going to save that for another podcast. This is one that I really feel will transform a lot of marriages. For a lot of guys, if our wives aren't happy, we feel like we're failing. So we can avoid that by just staying at work, providing for the family, trying to be good enough, but then feeling inside like we can't do anything right. For women, there's other factors there. We're going to dive into that. Maybe podcast four.
Janelle:
Ooh, we'll do that maybe podcast four, because this next one we have is with our professional organizer who's different than you might think. You're going to love the takeaways. So we definitely will have that for number four. So let's just kind of recap as we're talking about... Again, I have the fourth thing is that we don't grow through easy times.
Andrew:
Our marriage has never improved in easy times. It's always being in the thick of battle and figuring it out and understanding what I need to let go of for my ego and understanding how I can meet Janelle's needs at a higher level. And making sure that they're a realistic need because I think there's partners out there that just have unrealistic needs about their relationship or that they don't feel worth, so they're trying to get worth from their partners. So again, we'll get them over.
Janelle:
We'll make sure we bring that in. Let's talk about the cycle of problems because I hope that for all of our listeners, everybody that's watching here on the YouTube channel as well, that you feel encouraged to be able to throw off some shackles that are holding you down because you think this is abnormal. These problems you have are abnormal. I hope this allows you to feel freedom, that you're in good company here with us. So, let's talk about that cycle of problems and this is a fantastic visual. At the bottom, it says here, "Problems in life are nothing more than opportunities. When faced with a problem, you can either ignore, blame, or find a solution. Effective solutions create change, and change often creates new problems," like Andrew's saying, "but better quality problems. The secret is finding an empowering meaning in each opportunity you are faced with."
Janelle:
You might need to go back 15 seconds, listen to that again. What do you want to say to this? Because I like this visual with problem at the top. And then we can go to the left, ignore or blame. There's one way to go about it or we can go down and go solution, what's the solution to our problem? What's the change that we're going to implement? What change needs to take place? But like we just read, that change then creates another problem. It's just a better quality problem. So what else do you want to say about that?
Andrew:
You're not getting rid of problems, so get rid of that idea. What I've found is people don't like the word problem, but if we change that to challenge, how many people rise to challenges versus avoid problems? That's what we've got to do. We've got to accept that this problem, this challenge, is here for our growth not against our growth. I see challenges and problems as a test. Am I really convicted to this path? The more I'm on the right path, the more problems and challenges, the more resistance I'm going to feel. I've met so many life coaches who believe that when they're on the right path, there is no resistance. They're just in flow state. That sounds really nice.
Janelle:
It sure does.
Andrew:
I wish. I wish, but again, I love mountain biking. In order to mountain bike, you got a ride up the mountain. You've got to earn your turns. I don't particularly enjoy riding uphill, but I really do like riding downhill. But I've got to do the effort to get the reward. The best times our marriage has improved is when there's the most friction and the most blockage. And then when we work through that, that's when we get exponential growth. But then we're going to hit another challenge, another block.
Janelle:
Maybe even on road trip.
Andrew:
Maybe.
Janelle:
We're heading out today for a road trip and we'll be sharing some pictures here with you guys, but this is a big part of our lifestyle. We know that even all of us being on the road for a week, there's going to be things that's going to come up. And so knowing that, I think allows us to be able to give grace to each other and knowing that each problem really can be a gift. I have the fifth thing down here as rise to the challenge, decide to rise to the challenge because that's kind of person you are. And if there are others watching you, even little people, just know that it matters.
Andrew:
And they're always watching.
Janelle:
If they see how you... They do see how you react to problems, they see how we react to problems, and it makes a difference. Please know, and don't let the lies sneak in that say it doesn't matter, your kids are watching, others are watching. And so if you feel like you need to project and be nasty about things, that just kind of keeps on going into space. That isn't good for anybody. Make a decision to solve the problem, invite change in, and invite others into the process. Again, especially if you have kids and especially if they're watching you working from home, whatever that looks like. But I'm really excited for the next week's podcast with organizing and some really great hacks when you're busy and a lot of us working at home. Then for the next one, we'll go a little bit-
Andrew:
Into those relationships. And again, my goal for my relationship is that my marriage wins. A lot of times, I want to win and me and Janelle are pretty competitive people. I did try to keep up with her in the gym and put my back out. But anyway, she does work me in the gym, but we're both very competitive. So a lot of times we can get into wanting to win in a debate, if you want to call it that, which can turn into an argument. But if my goal is that the marriage wins, then she wins and I win. That's just better for us, it's better for the kids, but they're always watching. Your kids are going to follow your example. Although, my parents were so screwed up and I did the exact opposite, so either way, you're influencing them. Anyway, we're going to get into these problems because we haven't gone through this.
Janelle:
All right, well, I know you have a client coming up. I'm going to end with the same quote we started with.
Andrew:
I'm actually going to go through this because he just told me that he's going to be late, so we're going to go through a little bit.
Janelle:
Bonus time.
Andrew:
Problem. When you're faced with a problem, you can go into blame and there's three things that blamers do. They blame others, "You know why? It was my high school teacher. They were so mean to me. They said I was an idiot and I was never going to learn. It's their fault." "It's my parents' fault." "It's my friend's fault." "It's my wife's fault." "It's my kid's fault." "It's my team's fault."
Janelle:
Ex's fault.
Andrew:
They blame somebody else, "It's the president's fault." Whatever they want to blame, but the likelihood of that person knocking on your door and saying, "Hey, guess what? I'm really sorry, but it was my fault that I put you on this path. Please, can you forgive me?" The likelihood of that happening is pretty much 99% it won't. So if you're waiting for an apology from somebody that you think screwed up your life, it's not happening. Get over it, change your story. So you can blame others or you can blame events or entities. What I mean by that is, "It's the government's fault." The government is an entity. They're not going to knock on your door and admit fault. "It's time's fault. That person has more time than me. That's why their marriage is better. That's why they've got a better business," whatever it is. But people will blame time. Never knocking on your door. "It's God's fault." God's not knocking on your door saying, "Yeah, you're right. It's me."
Andrew:
These people will blame something that is never going to accept responsibility and they'll get stuck there. The third thing they'll do is they'll blame themselves, "I'm not smart enough." "I'm not social enough." "I'm not articulate enough." "Well, it's my genetics. That's the reason that I'm not in shape."
Janelle:
"I'm not a morning person." Am I a morning person?
Andrew:
You are when you make a decision.
Janelle:
And I get enough sleep.
Andrew:
She'll get up at 5:30 and hit the gym. Awesome. But if she's not got a plan, she will sleep until I wake her up, which might be 10 on a vacation. It might be 11.
Janelle:
You're being conservative.
Andrew:
She just keeps on going.
Janelle:
It's my Viking blood.
Andrew:
It is.
Janelle:
I can't help it.
Andrew:
She likes to hibernate for winter. So, we can blame others, we can blame ourself, and we can blame events or entities. The self one is what people think is most noble because at least they're accepting responsibility. They're not it. What this does create is a victim. And I want you to make a conscious decision right now, will you consciously and willingly choose to be a victim in your life? Will you find someone to blame, something to blame, or blame yourself? Because if you blame yourself and you do all the other blame, you end up as a victim and victims always fail.
Andrew:
Now, if you fail, failure is a great place to learn. It's a great place to visit. It's not a great place to live. I know that because most of my teens and early twenties, I lived in failure and I stayed in failure and I thought it was me. I accepted that as an identity rather than a behavior. You can blame or you can ignore. And ignore is like an ostrich burying its head in the sand. I know they don't really do that but it is a good visual. So, they don't know what that debt ratio is. They don't know what their cholesterol or heart rate is. Whatever it is. They don't know-
Janelle:
What's in the bank account. I just read something about that, how many people don't know their login for their bank account.
Andrew:
Yep. Bury their head in the sand. And these people are hopers. They're hope that one day their marriage will improve. They hope that they're business will improve. They hope that marriage will suddenly work itself out and income will get better and they'll have enough money to pay taxes. They hope all of this, but the ostrich gets eaten from the rear end without ever seeing the lion coming.
Janelle:
Ooh, strong visual, Andrew.
Andrew:
That's the ostriches. You can be a victim, you can be an ostrich, or you can be a champion. Now champions do some things different. They know the problem, but they also know their outcome, "The problem is I need to lose 15 pounds. I'm going to lose 15 pounds. The outcome is I'm going to get lean strong, healthy, and confident." See the difference? The outcome is, "Oh my team, they're just not doing what they need to be doing. My business is going down." That's the problem. The outcome is, "I'm going to find some amazing people that want to grow with me and run." So we got to know the outcome. A great phrase is only Google what you want. If you do not want a white pickup truck, do not Google, "I do not want a white pickup truck" because all you're going to see is white pickup trucks because Google goes, "Why would you be asking for something that you do not want?"
Andrew:
Does that make sense? But that's so many people, "I don't want my marriage to go downhill." "I don't want to get out of shape." It's wimpy. It's not people living at the best. So champions know their outcomes. And that's what separates so many people, that they know the solutions. And I'd encourage you to do three solutions for every challenge, no one solution... It's a trap. You don't feel freedom there. Two solutions give you stress. Should I leave the marriage or should I stay in it? Should I hire a relationship coach? Should I go on a marriage retreat? Should I read a book about marriage? The options start giving you freedom, but too many options cause you to shrink, cause you to be overwhelmed, cause you to not know. That's why I say three to five options for every challenge.
Andrew:
So we know our outcome, we know our solutions, we choose which one's going to give us our outcome the most. And then ownership. Ownership is massive. Now on my last business trip, I went to rent a car and they said, "What car would you like?" And I said, "The most stupid car you have with full insurance please." And they said, "Great, we've got a 485 horsepower Dodge." And I was like, "Great." And so there was smoke coming off the tires, there was donuts happening. I had fun in that car, but if I owned that car, I wouldn't drive it like that because I rented it. We've got to own the solutions. We've got to go into action and own it. We've got to treat it like it's ours and we want it for a long time.
Andrew:
And then the next step is action. This is when reality hits. Everything else you've done up until this point is just entertainment, it's just you working through stuff. But when we go into action is when life actually changes. Right before people go into action, they own it, and then they say, "You know what? I'm going to go and I'm going to work out. I'm going to get in shape on Monday." They go right back to being a victim or an ostrich. "I'm going to work on my marriage as soon as she's nice to me." "I'm going to grow a business as soon as I have some more income or as soon as I get a pay raise." There's always something else.
Andrew:
So right at the moment of action is when people become victims of ostriches again. Again, if that's you, that's awesome as long as you take the failure and learn. That's the best learning we can ever do. And then we're going to go back and make a decision to be the champion again, and we're going to move through it. So once you've done the action, once you've done the work, what do you get then? You've had your challenge, your problem, you've taken ownership, you know your outcomes, you know your solutions, you've got into action. What do you get there?
Janelle:
Sore muscles.
Andrew:
Sore muscles and new challenge
Janelle:
New challenges.
Andrew:
A new challenge. They're not going away, a new problem. Yeah, you want to get in shape and now you feel like your legs have been hit by a baseball bat. That's a normal problem.
Janelle:
Or a real problem is that I'm working out hard and lifting a lot with my legs and then I'm frustrated that my jeans are tight in my quads.
Andrew:
Yeah, so you've got to go, "What's my outcome?" My challenge to Janelle is what is your outcome? Just because she can lift 756 pounds a leg press for reps... Not me, back goes out about 500 pounds, but that was two weeks of not being able to do anything. But she can lift it. But if it's not aligned with her outcome, then she's doing a behavior that gives her the opposite of what she wants. Does that make sense? Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Everything's got to be aligned with our outcome. So you get that new problem and somebody's going right through it, they've been the champion the whole time. They get to the new problem, the new challenge, and they become the victim and the ostrich again because they didn't expect a new challenge. Does that make sense?
Andrew:
The challenges are there for us to grow, but if you don't know your outcome, it's like you setting off for a drive without plugging in the GPS. When we set off today for our road trip of epicness, I'm going to put in the destination even though I know where I'm going, because if there's a traffic jam it;ll reroute me around the traffic jam if there's a problem. I still need my destination in place. I still need to know my outcome before I set off. Working out, know your outcome. If you don't want to look like a bodybuilder don't train like a bodybuilder. If you don't want to look like an endurance athlete marathon runner, don't train as an endurance athlete. Does that make sense? We've got to know the outcome. What's the outcome with marriage? I'm going to throw you on the spot. What's your outcome with marriage?
Janelle:
Well, it is to win because we talk about that a lot. I would say my outcome with marriage is to just be always learning and keeping things fresh. That's my positive spin on it. What I would have said before I knew not to Google what I didn't want, I would say I don't want to be stagnant in my relationships. But now I would just say I want them to be just alive and active.
Andrew:
Yep. So I asked her a couple of weeks ago and I remember what you said. You said, "I want it to be fun and playful." That's, Janelle. That's Janelle at her best. So a marriage that's fun and playful. I said, "Well, what's your outcome with kids?" And she goes, "Pretty much the same. To be fun and playful with my kids. And a great role model."
Janelle:
And that's how we first connected on the cruise ship. It was just fun. We just had a great time. We played in the arcade on the cruise ship.
Andrew:
I did beat her on the skiing machine.
Janelle:
I don't think you beat me.
Andrew:
No, you don't remember.
Janelle:
Pretty sure. We'll have to go back to some video footage on Princess Cruise Lines, but we had fun together. We had fun.
Andrew:
We'll share that story on the relationship.
Janelle:
All right everyone. Just to summarize our five takeaways for today as far as the gifts of problems, number one, average people get rid of problems, successful people create problems and know that cycle. Second, fall in love with the reality, not just the concept. Number three, decide to be a balcony person and know yourself, know what you need to do to be able to express and work through things if it's journaling, talking, that sort of thing. Four, know that we don't grow through easy times. And five, decide to be the champion. I kind of changed that from this last part. Victim? Uh-uh (negative). Ostrich? Uh-uh (negative). You're going to decide to be the champion and that's how we're going to live.
Janelle:
Other things pass through, we can recognize it, take lessons from it, but we decide to live as a champion in our relationships, in our health, in our marriage, in our parenting, and how we are doing success well. If you haven't already, make sure you have subscribed, like, and please share. Who else do you know that will benefit from this kind of a mindset around business and family? We would love to hear in your comments below as well for other upcoming topics. Thanks for joining us today for Love + Money.
Andrew:
All right, guy. Until next time. Bye.