Ep. 132- REDEFINING GRANDPARENTHOOD- LOVE & ECONOMICS (Ep. 74 Replay) 

 MARIE-JO

 Hello, and welcome to Finance Conversations. This is the 74th episode of the Merging Life and Money Show, and I am super excited to be here today. Let me say happy Emancipation Day, Bermuda. Stay safe while enjoying the Cup Match festivities. Peace! And as you can see, I'm wearing my Somerset colors, and it is Somerset all the way.

Let's see what tomorrow brings. Before I start, let me apologize to my followers and listeners. I was scheduled to broadcast at 5, and I did so I started, but I actually experienced Some technical difficulties. So here I am. So today I will be talking about Grandparenthood. Why? Simply because after nearly three years I finally got to hug my grand boys as they are visiting with me for the rest of the summer.

It is unbelievable how much we take for granted when it comes to grandchildren. Just touching them and hugging them made me realize how much They mean to me how much I missed having them in my space and of course, how much they miss their granny. Even though we were very regularly seeing and talking to each other virtually over the past three years.

Moreover, this time away from them was emphasized even more the importance. of grandparenting. Some of you may wonder, okay MJ, what this has to do with money and finance? It has everything to do with it. One of my favorite sayings is, show me what you have that money cannot buy, and I will tell you how rich you are.

Before I get into it, let me introduce myself. For those of you who do not know me, I am your host, Marie Jo Caesar. I help professional women transform their relationship with money by tooling them with the necessary financial skills and knowledge they need to take control of their money, manage their finances, and recognize that they can live their best lives with the money they have.

Thank you for joining in today. And if you have any comments, put them down in the chat. And if you happen to be watching the replay later on, make sure to type hashtag replay. In the chat. Welcome, welcome, and welcome. I come to you live every Thursday at 5 p. m. Pacific Standard Time to give you essential information about how to achieve financial wellness and live your life with means and meaning.

As you may know. The Merging Life and Money show's primary purpose and my very strong why is to empower as many women as possible by sharing what I know about money and finance so that they can live their greatest lives yet. So grab a pen and a notebook. Whether you're a parent or a grandparent or even a young adult who happens to be a grandkid you might want to take some notes to share and talk about with family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. Because it is about sharing values that could benefit others. Now let us begin. Grandparenthood, what does it really mean in today's world? Let's find out. I will focus on the following points.

The first one would be the meaning of grandparenthood and its contribution to the quality of life. The second one will be the joys and challenges of grandparenthood in this modern world. And we'll take a look at how grandparenting is gradually changing. Lastly, I will talk about the increasing importance of what it means to be a grandparent.

How does being a grandparent work? So for many people, it's a role that they love and respect as grandparents, add something special to family life, and their help. often makes everyone's life better. So grandparenting is, in my view, a rewarding experience that is different for everyone, for everyone. 

Although it may not be the most significant aspect of our lives, it is more meaningful than most of us realize. For those of you helping with the upbringing of your grandkids, Grandparenting is the most essential aspect of your lives. And today, a growing number of people are doing exactly that. I will add that globally, mortality is declining, and life expectancy is on the rise.

This has been the case for many years now. Therefore, it is totally normal for most kids to grow up while their grandparents are still alive. You can be a grandparent young enough to be in your 40s nowadays. And some grandkids can be old enough to retire. While you are still alive. Consequently, despite the clearly established status of grandparenthood, the role of grandparenthood is not precisely defined.

While there are situations where many Grandparents are separated from their Children and grandchildren for whatever reasons, right? Most of us live at some distance from our grandchildren and manage to maintain an active role in their lives through the magic, I would say, of technology and regular visits, as is the case for me.

So let's look at the first point. What I want to address today is the meaning of grandparenthood and its contribution to the quality of life. Grandparenthood is one of them, and I'm repeating it, one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. And you would hear me say that over and over again in this show.

It gives you a unique chance to love and be loved. It gives you a unique chance to grow emotionally close. In a way that cannot be matched by anything else. As a matter of fact, research has shown that this love and closeness can have a significant effect on how well and quickly grandchildren grow up.

However, being a grandparent is about more than just love. It is about teaching important values and customs to the next generation, about bringing people together and making the world a better place. It is a fact that when parents are involved in the lives of their grandchildren, they help build bridges of respect and understanding. They help people feel like they belong and are part of a group. In addition, when most people think about the role parents play in their lives, they probably think about All the great things great parents do for their children and grandchildren. As you know, they can make a huge difference in the lives of their loved ones by clearly spoiling them with gifts and treats, allowing them to do things that mommy and daddy would not allow.

Taking them on special trips or just listening to them and being there for them. But what about the grandparents’ role in society as a whole? What effect do grandparents have on everyone's quality of life? New research shows that being a grandparent can be good for both the person and the whole community.

So depending on how far away they live, and depending also on factors, I would say all the factors that I will address later on grandparents can be caregivers. They can be teachers, or they can even be playmates as their grown children, who now have their own families, trust them to give advice. So for many families, the grandparents take care of the kids on a very regular basis.

And in some cases, they take care of their grandkids more than anyone else. As noted earlier, whether they live close by or stay in touch from far away, grandparents love, and emotional closeness have a big positive effect on their grandchild's healthy growth. All of these are important, and grandparents do a lot more special things for their grandchildren.

As a matter of fact, the Journals of Gerontology are the first scientific journals on aging published in the United States. They reveal that grandparents have become a huge part of what it means to get older. And because people are living longer, they can be grandparents for a very long time.

It was suggested that men and women might be grandparents for almost half their lives. And it's not unusual for grandparents to see their grandchildren grow up to become adults. Believe it or not, becoming a grandparent is now becoming. Less of a sign that you are getting older and more of a sign that you are in your midlife.

I love it. Today, many adults become grandparents while they are still working and doing many other things in their lives. It was found that middle-aged working men and women were most likely to say that the role of grandparent was often more important than the role they play at work, which clearly indicates that being a grandparent is an important job for older people.

I would also look at grandparenthood in the societal concept. Past research on grandparenthood, especially satisfaction in the grandparent role, shows that the frequency of contact between grandparents and grandchildren is positively related to grandparents’ satisfaction. All right. So contact with grandparents.

I should say contact with grandchildren may provide grandparents with a range of positive experiences; that includes a sense of emotional closeness to grandchildren, that includes strengthening generational ties, linking family members that includes I would say social solidarity, and the satisfaction of fulfilling normative expectations.

It was also found that gender differences in life expectancy, life course events, financial resources, and socialization also impacted grandparenthood. For example, grandmothers express greater grandparent role satisfaction than grandfathers. Suggesting that Continuity with maternal involvement in child-wearing may make women more comfortable and satisfied in their grandparent role.

It was also suggested that grandmothers were more likely than grandfathers to have participated with their grandchildren in recreational activities. religious activities, and even family gatherings. Similarly, grandchildren reported more contact with their grandmothers than with their grandfathers. Also, past research findings suggest that African American grandparents have more contact with their grandchildren than white and that older adults with lower educational attainment as educators of working-class status are more satisfied in their grandparent role than grandparents with higher levels of education.

It was also found that poor health limits opportunities for contact with grandchildren and also inhibits grandparents. So please, grandparents, do whatever you can do to age in a very healthy fashion. So you could have a greater chance of enjoying your grandchildren. And lastly, I will say that strong bonds between generations also depend on the degree of disruption.

and the family's lives. You know, changes in life stages like separation, divorce, and remarriage affect the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren in different ways. For instance, grandchildren often lose touch with the grandparents or the parent who does not have custody of the kids.

And for these grandparents who knew the children well before the divorce, the loss can be very hard to bear. As a result, now you see that grandparents who do not have custody of their grandchildren often have to go to court. To make sure that they can keep seeing them. And even that does not always work.

Also, it is important to remember though, that divorce can also make children more dependent. on their custodial grandparents for help, which can lead to naturally closer ties between the child and that grandparent. I'm going to end this point by saying that the truth of the matter is that if a person is deprived of a close relationship with their grandparent, they could lose that additional nurturing.

They could lose that emotional security. And they could lose even a sense of their own culture, their own history. For instance, in a situation where the grandparent helps take care of, feed, and teach their grandchildren. For the grandchildren, the relationship is important. Even when they are grown up, even when they become adults and grandchildren, adults still like to talk to and learn from their grandparents.

Okay. Although most of the time it is the adult grandchildren's job to keep in touch with their grandparents, most of them see their grandparents less often. So grandkids. If you're an adult and if you are listening, do not forget your grandparents. Regardless of what the case might be, alright, grandparents have a huge impact on their adult children's beliefs, as they help them to appreciate what it means to be an older person.

Now, let's look at the second point that I want to talk about today. The joys and challenges of grandparenting in today's world. Okay. I also want to look at how grandparenting is gradually changing. Becoming a grandparent is a life-changing experience. I said it before. I will say it again and I will say it again and again.

It comes with new privileges and responsibilities that you never before, such as getting to witness your child become a parent and experiencing that unconditional love. Grandparenthood is a wonderful time in life. It is a time, as I said before, to spoil your grandchildren, watch them grow and learn, and create lasting memories together.

It is also a time to enjoy the simple things in life, like spending time outdoors taking walks or just enjoying each other's company. So grandparenthood is also one of the most rewarding experiences of a lifetime. I said it again. It is a time to share your love, your wisdom and your life experiences with your grandchildren is a time to connect with them on a deeper level to create lasting memories and to instill values and traditions that will be passed down for generations to come. It is also the time when you can teach your grandchildren important life lessons, such as the importance of family, the importance and the value of hard work, and the joy of giving back to the community, the joys, the love, and the laughter that comes along with being a parent, a grandparent are incomparable. Okay, not to mention that. The bond formed between a grandparent and their grandchild is definitely unbreakable.

Additionally, grandchildren can help you learn new things, okay? And in addition, they keep you young at heart. And they give you unconditional love. Like everything else, there are always multiple sides to a situation. In fact, in doing the research for this show, I realized, I learned that; that was something new to me, that some societies only recognize grandparents either on the father's or on the mother's side. 

But in modern Western societies, both the father's and mother's grandparents are considered grandparents. Now, in Western societies, it can be hard to figure out who is a grandparent because of the number of divorces the number of adoptions, and artificial methods of getting pregnant are on the rise, and grandparents who have adopted grandchildren or stepchildren do not always make it clear that they are grandparents.

In fact, recent anthropological research suggests that back then, and I'm saying way, way back then 30, 000 years ago, the fact that people are living longer made it possible for grandparents to care for children and pass on their culture. So those roles help the population grow and help people become more creative.

In most recent years, I would say, the eighties late seventies, and early eighties, the drug and AIDS epidemics made it so that more and more grandparents are raising their grandchildren at the same time, high divorce rates at the end of the 20th century led to the creation of laws About when and how when parents can see their grandchildren.

Grandparents also play an important economic role, both as people who buy, things for their grandkids, like toys and whatever the case may be for their grandchildren, and as people who offer services, such as care of grandchildren that enable mothers to remain in the labor force. The social status and image of grandparents are often tied to the status of elders in a society.

So it is. Modernization can sometimes lower the status of the elderly, and by extension, grandparents by taking away their economic control and making them less important, as a source of knowledge. And I will also note that if grandparents don't have any authority in the family, they may be able to get along better with their grandchildren.

In fact, the US Grandparents Day in the proclamation of 1995 as the year of the grandparent shows how important grandparenthood is to society. However, the image of grandparents in the media hasn't kept up with the times, I could tell you that, as they show grandparents as old, passive, and powerless, right?

Truth be told, new research suggests that children's books and TV commercials are just starting to show grandparents in a better light. And I would be remiss though if I didn't mention that less attention has been paid to situations where grandparents are physically and financially dependent on their adult.

Children and grandchildren. In some cases, grandchildren in this situation complain that their parents are failing in their duty and responsibilities as they find themselves having to deal with grandparent-sitting and the potential for household chaos by having to take care of their sometimes quote-unquote mentally sick grandparents.

And we know that. Alzheimer's and dementia have been on the rise in the elderly population. Now, let me look at the third point that I want to talk about, which is the increasing importance of grandparenting. 

In the world we live in now, being a grandparent is more important than ever. Okay? With everything changing, our grandchildren need our love, they need our knowledge, and they need the stability that we offer them more than ever. We are playing an increasingly important role in their lives with more and more families living apart and so many families struggling to make and meet.

We often provide the strength and the sense of tradition that children crave. We also serve as a source of affection and support. Offering a unique perspective on life that can be invaluable to grandchildren. And we also help to foster healthy relationships between parents and children by serving as, I would say, a positive role model.

As caretakers and supporters, we provide a much-needed respite and play a vital role in the lives of our grandchildren, particularly when parents are feeling overwhelmed. For example, in times of crisis, we can also offer financial and emotional support to our kids. And by treasuring the tradition of the past and supporting the future generations, we are making.

a lasting contribution to the world. Our grandchildren need to know that we will always be there for them and that we love them no matter what. So simply put, we are essential to the family. We are You know, the heart, we are a very important part of any family and in today's ever-changing world, our role is more and more important.

Never before to add to it. It is also important to note that we are living in unprecedented times. Okay. Despite this, we continue to face everyday challenges. One such challenge is how the pandemic has affected our loved ones, particularly grandparents. One group that has not received a lot of attention, I would say that the COVID-19 pandemic has swept the world and left very few unaffected.

For grandparents, the pandemic has often meant taking on the role of primary caretaker for their grandchildren. Okay, I know this is an unexpected challenge for many, but one that can also be a welcome change, particularly for parents who might be feeling isolated or lonely. So the chance to spend more time with their grandchildren can be a bright spot in an otherwise difficult time. And while caring for young children can be exhausting, it can also be immensely gratifying. So seeing the world through the eyes of grandchildren can be a joyous and enlightening experience. One that reminds us of the wonder and beauty of life.

Even though the pandemic has brought many challenges, it has also given grandparents the gift of time to connect with their grandchildren in a way that they may, who knows, never have thought possible. And I must also mention that COVID-19 claimed the lives of many grandparents. Which in the same way has affected large numbers of grandchildren.

So I will end this point by saying that as we continue to face the challenge of this pandemic, it is important that we take a step back and appreciate all the good in our lives. For many grandparents, this has meant rediscovering the joy of parenting. And being reminded that every day is a gift. Okay, so let's continue to appreciate life even as we face difficult times.

And let's remember the sacrifices grandparents are making for all of us by raising their grandchildren during this pandemic.

Oh my God, I've been talking for 34 years. 40, 34 minutes. I am going to wind down some and summarize what I talked about. I talked about grandparenthood, and I focused mainly on three points, the joys and challenges of grandparenting and how grandparenting is changing the increasing importance. of grandparenthood and the meaning of grandparenthood and its contribution to the quality of life.

As I see it, grandparenthood is one of the most rewarding experiences life has to offer. I said it again, it gives us a chance to love and be loved unconditionally. To develop emotional closeness with our grandchildren and to watch them grow and develop into healthy, grounded adults. I am so glad to see those boys.

They have grown. So much in the past almost three years that I last saw them when parenthood also provides an opportunity to pass on our values and our traditions to the next generation. And in today's fast-paced and ever-changing world. It is more important than ever to hold on to the things that make us who we are.

So by passing on our traditions and values to our grandchildren, we help to ensure that they will be passed down. For generations to come. In short, grandparenthood makes the world a better place by filling it with love, laughter, and a sense of connection to those who came before us. My last thought on parenthood and being a grandparent, myself, is that the role of grandparents has changed because of the way society has changed.

Okay, grandparents of today are working later in life, even after they retire, grandparents today are more likely to live in a way that does not allow them to take care of their grandchildren. And this is not what I would say. Intentional, right? Grandparents are also less likely to live close to their children, which changes how they help their grandchildren and how involved they are in their lives.

So when they retire and become grandparents, baby boomers want a higher standard of living than the economy can provide. As a woman myself, you worked very high, very hard, I should say, and you want to leave this retirement. Yes. By design. Okay. And not by default. So more of the baby boomers' money might go toward keeping up with the standard of living they choose to have. And of course, in so doing less money will be available for their grandchildren. That is the way it is. Awesome. All the people now live longer than they used to and the possible need for long-term medical care can also take money away from the grandparents. Money that they could have used to help their younger relatives.

Other factors are, of course, technology, the internet, video games, and TV, which are all new forms of entertainment keeping young people's attention and time. I can tell you that it can be hard for grandparents to get their grandchildren's attention when they are competing with so many different technological things to do.

Electronic devices are used by grandchildren as young as toddlers. So you know, not to keep up when parents have to learn how to use the internet and they have to learn how to play video games so they can spend time with their grandchildren. Also, email has become a way for grandparents to stay in touch with their grandchildren. Zoom is another medium used to remain connected and used to talk to the grandkids more. Generally speaking, if the grandchild and grandparent do not understand how important different things are to each other, it could actually make the child and grandparent more distant.

And the grandchild might even think that the grandparent does not understand how it feels to be a child and could end up caring. I should say and could end up not caring about the grandparents' concerns. So regardless of how involved a grandparent wants to be, one thing is for sure, their life does change when becoming a grandparent.

And no matter the role or the style of grandparenting, the love, and connection you share with your grandchildren is one of the most precious gifts you can give. So I am going to stop here. And as you know, I like to end my show with a quote. Today I chose a quote from an unknown author, and it reads, “You never know the love of a grandparent until you become one.” Amen to that one. 

This brings us to the end of today's Merging Life and Money show. I hope that you enjoyed today's show. And I do apologize for the delay in streaming today. Okay. Sometimes technology gets the best of us. So for more information about how to achieve financial wellness from the inside out and live a purposeful life with the money you have, join me next week, Thursday at 7:00 p.m. PST,6 pm Mountain time, 8 pm. Eastern time, 9 pm Atlantic time for my Bermudian pips and 10 am. Friday, Brisbane, Australia time for my Australian friends. Thank you for being here today on the Merging Life and Money Show. I am your host, Marie Jo Caesar. I will be back again next week until then continue merging life and money.

Bye for now.