Inspired Budget

#133: Walli Miller's Steps to Financial Consciousness and Freedom

November 23, 2023 Allison Baggerly Episode 133
Inspired Budget
#133: Walli Miller's Steps to Financial Consciousness and Freedom
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever found yourself wondering where all your earnings are vanishing? Our guest, Walli Miller, a financial coach and spreadsheet enthusiast, shares her personal journey from being an impulsive spender to becoming a mindful, intentional shopper.

Harnessing her personal experiences, Walli unlocks the secrets of overcoming impulsive shopping habits and discusses the 'aha' moment that led her to a path of financial consciousness. This episode is packed with anecdotes and wisdom from Walli's journey to financial freedom, and her story is an inspiration to anyone who's struggling with managing their finances.

In the latter part of our episode, Walli shares an intriguing challenge that changed her perspective on spending - the seven-day no spend challenge. With this enlightening experience, she became more aware of her triggers, leading to more mindful spending habits.

We also dive into the importance of aligning our spending with our personal values, a lesson she gathered from her adventures in couponing. Gear up for an insightful discussion on personal finance, impulsive shopping, and the power of intentional spending.

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Speaker 1:

And I realized that every single day I somehow would end up spending money. Now, sometimes it was just buying a candy bar at the vending machine, right. But then sometimes it was going to target and picking up a candle that I had no intention of buying. Or going to the pharmacy and picking up a magazine, right. Or buying a shirt that I hadn't planned for and, quite frankly, didn't need. And when I kept sort of restarting the clock on that seven day no spend challenge was when I realized that I was having these like sort of shopping compulsions, almost.

Speaker 1:

Hey, this is Allison, and welcome to the Inspire Budget podcast, where we talk all things budgeting, debt and saving money. I am beyond excited to introduce our guest for today's episode, wally Miller. She is a financial coach, money nerd and spreadsheet enthusiast. Wally is on a mission to empower young professionals to become work optional without giving up their lattes and brunches. As a first gen college graduate and daughter of an immigrant, wally has a unique and insightful perspective on personal finance. Today we'll hear about her journey from being an impulsive shopper to an intentional spender and the strategies she has been using to do so. So let's dive right in, wally. Welcome to the Inspired Budget podcast. I'm glad you're here today. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me. We are both money nerds and I'm excited to have this conversation. Oh, my gosh, me too. So I would love for you to start by sharing your personal journey from a first gen college graduate to becoming a financial coach, spreadsheet lover and just money nerd in general.

Speaker 1:

I always had a little bit of interest in numbers and money. I was one of those people who would watch the Susie Orman retirement PBS specials even though I didn't really know what she was talking about. But I was like, oh there's, like I think this could be useful. In my mind I always thought I was like pretty good with money. And that has nothing to do with the way that I grew up. As you mentioned, I'm a first gen college graduate, daughter of an immigrant, born and raised in New York City, and we didn't really talk about money in our household. We didn't really have like those sit down conversations about earning or saving or budgeting. So most of what I knew about money was really things that I learned indirectly. Right, it was sort of the behaviors, the situations that were sort of observed, rather than like those direct conversations.

Speaker 1:

It wasn't until in my late 20s, as I graduated school and got my first couple of jobs, and I remember receiving a statement from the Social Security Administration. Now they no longer mail these out, but back in the day, like a decade ago, what they would do is that they would send you an earning statement of like all of the money that you've made throughout your life, so like my job, my summer job, when I was like 14. And I remember adding up all of those numbers, adding up every single dollar I had ever earned throughout the years. And I remember when I added up those numbers, I was like there's no way, because it didn't feel like I had made that much money, because I had nothing to show for it, and that was sort of the realization that my idea of being good with money I maybe was missing a thing or two. It's almost like you were good enough that you weren't going into the red each month, right, like you weren't going negative. Exactly, I stayed. I knew that credit card debt was something that you didn't want to have. So, even though I did have a credit card, I made sure to pay every single month not pay interest, avoid bank fees and credit card fees but I was spending every single dollar that I had. So I didn't go in the red, I paid all my bills and then I just kind of spent money on everything else, yeah, and really was missing that saving component.

Speaker 1:

But you had mentioned, I think, somewhere on your website that you were an impulsive shopper. Is that correct? Yes, ok. So when was that in this time of your life Did you realize that? After you had this kind of aha moment? And I didn't even notice, how do you go from being someone who just impulsively shops to spending intentionally? When I realized that I had made that amount of money and I didn't have anything to show for it, what I looked at was well, what have I purchased? Like, where did that money go? And I had a closet full of clothes that didn't even fit, with tags on them. I had all of these shoes that I probably wore once in my life, or maybe none at all, and I just realized that all of my money was going to close in shoes.

Speaker 1:

During that time I realized, okay, I'm doing a lot of shopping, right? You know how they say tell me, you know, show me your bank statement and I'll tell you what you value. And so, really, what would have been if somebody would have looked at my bank statement. It would have shown that I valued Burlington Coat Factory, target, marshalls, ross. And again in my mind, I was good with money because I would never buy a pair of jeans that cost two or $300, like never, right. But then I would spend dozens and buy dozens and dozens of pairs of jeans that cost 20, 30, 40, $50, even though I didn't wear them right. So it was sort of that mentality of like, oh, but I don't buy, like expensive things.

Speaker 1:

But I was spending a lot of money, and part of that happened as I went to college. I worked throughout college and then, once I had my first full-time job and I was able to move out on my own and again pay the bills, I didn't really know what to do with what was left over. Right, I was in a fortunate situation that, yes, I did have student loans. It never occurred to me that I could, like pay more than what I know. Right, I was like, okay, I could pay my student loan payment, I could pay my rent, I have food on the table, and so I just spent money and I became a very impulsive shopper. Right, I would be in my car on my way to the gas station and like pull over and like somehow just magically, right, automagically ended up in the mall, right? Or I would go to Target to pick up laundry detergent and body wash and leave with candles and throw pillows. Oh, I know, I know that life.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was one of those things, but I didn't really understand it and during this time I was like, okay, I need to figure out. Like what am I doing wrong? And I somehow heard of something called the no spend challenge. Yum, which I think you're familiar with. Yes, and to this day, I've never been able to complete one.

Speaker 1:

But what it made me do was that and basically, for those who may not have heard of a no spend challenge, it's when you set a certain amount of time sometimes it's a week or month and you make a list of things that you can spend money on, so most of the time is those most essential things like rent and mortgage and keeping the lights on right, and then you don't spend money on anything else that's not on the list. If it's not on the list, you can't buy it, you can't pay for it, and so I try to do a seven seven day no spend challenge, where I only spend money on the things that were on the list, and I realized that every single day I somehow would end up spending money. Now, sometimes it was just buying a candy bar at the vending machine, right, but then sometimes it was going to target and picking up a candle that I had no intention of buying, or going to the pharmacy and picking up a magazine, right. Or buying a shirt that I hadn't planned for and, quite frankly, didn't need. And when I kept sort of restarting the clock on that seven day no spend challenge was when I realized that I was having these like sort of shopping compulsions, almost, where I just continued to buy things without. I was sort of a mindless spender rather than an intentional shopper. Wow, okay.

Speaker 1:

So you hit on a couple of things that I want to talk about, the first being the idea of being good with money was just essentially paying your bills, covering your expenses and not necessarily going further into debt, not being hit with overdraft fees, right. Where do you think you learned that from? Because then this could be like a whole tangent but and we don't need it to be but I feel like, where are people learning what good with money looks like Because you and I have a very similar story in the sense that I was just spending money. I considered it good if I just made it to payday without a negative balance and I'm just like, great, I'm good, this is good. But looking now, I'm like, well, is that good, or is that just barely getting by? So where do you think you I don't know, and this is obviously like we can't solve the world's problems how do you think, just theoretically, we change that? Yeah, I don't know where I necessarily heard that. I will say that, as I mentioned, I remember sort of being interested in people talk about money and a lot of the financial gurus out there really talked about debt and in my mind I was like, well, I don't have credit card debt, so then I am good, and that was my definition.

Speaker 1:

A lot of the personal finance information out there really harped on people who were overspending and I wasn't overspending, right, because I wasn't in the red and I wasn't necessarily I wasn't getting those late fees and overdraft fees and things like that. So I was like, yes, those personal finance, like I get an A in their class or not going into the red and not having to pay credit card interest or not being able, you know, having my lights turned off or anything like that. So that was where I sort of picked that up. There was also I did learn a little bit about if you didn't pay your bills you would have a bad credit score. Now I didn't know what a credit score was for right, but I was like kind of type A personality and I was like, ooh, a score, let me win this game. And the way that you get a good credit score whatever that is and whatever you need that for is by making sure you pay your bills on time. And so I think those were some of those again a little bit of not. I had just enough to help me, but I didn't quite always understand it.

Speaker 1:

I want to introduce the idea to anyone listening. This just came to me from what you were saying is your version of good. It seems like it changed over time. Right At that time in your life when you were first learning and just being introduced and kind of just practicing with money and engaging and experimenting with your money, your idea of good was not what your idea of good would be now. So it's OK for that to grow and change.

Speaker 1:

Another thing you said was that when you were doing your seven day no spend challenge, that you had to keep restarting every day. Right, I feel like and maybe this is just like the perfectionist in me I feel like that would be really hard and I would almost like harp on myself or feel bad, like gosh, you can't even do this. But it seems like you used it, you kind of looked at it differently and you saw it as like inspiring. How did you do that? And then what is your advice to someone who says, like, ok, I want to do what Wally did, I want to do a seven day no spend challenge. How do they walk out of that feeling inspired and not frustrated with themselves?

Speaker 1:

I don't think it started off as frustration. Right In the beginning it was like oh, I just made a mistake, right, right. But then, as I continued to restart it, I did become frustrated, and because of what it did was sort of show me something that I didn't realize I wasn't paying attention to. Right, it made me aware to a problem that I didn't really think I had, and again I tried to justify it with oh, it was just a $5 splurge, right, right, those $5, $10, $20 splurges every day, or even a few times a week, was what was causing me to not have anything to show for the amount of money that I was making. And so it did go from oops to like wait a minute, like you really can't do this. Now I will say and I'm sort of joked about this I ended up giving up on this no spend challenge. Right, I have never since completed one. I will say today I go days and days without spending money, just because I've become an intentional person when it comes to spending money. But calling it a no spend challenge I haven't really done.

Speaker 1:

But it was just again, some of that awareness, having that awareness of like, wow, every time you see something, that shiny object syndrome, every time you see something, you have to purchase it. And then the question was why, right? Why did you just buy that? Was it out of boredom? Was it out of impulsivity? Was it because you didn't care? And trying to figure out what your spending triggers are are really important. And that was what it was for me.

Speaker 1:

I shopped to celebrate, I shopped out of boredom, I shopped just because right. So I had a lot of spending triggers. I shopped if I had a bad day, I had a shot, I shopped. If I had a good day, that was the way I rewarded myself. And so I had many spending triggers and slowly, as I began to identify them, I tried to see what could I do as an alternative to that. What could I do rather than spend the money? Right, and you know, even sitting with your feelings or people could do this with shopping or even with food. Like, sitting with your feelings can sometimes suck right. Yes, oh, my gosh, yes, I. It's crazy, because you're saying all this and I'm like that is me, like that is exactly what I went through.

Speaker 1:

I would spend money when I was happy, mad, sad, glad, bored, angry, celebrating, and it's not wanting to sit with your feelings and then also wanting to celebrate happy feelings. So it's hard and it's sometimes I think, like, well, what do you replace this with? What do I replace spending money with? Because there's lots of options and sometimes I think, well, there are some options that are worse, like drinking alcohol. I could drink alcohol whenever I'm sad and frustrated and stressed, or I could spend money. Well, what's the better of the two evils? But then it's the question of do you have to do anything? Do you have to do either of those. And it's because of the avoidance, right, like we want to avoid, whether it's overspending, overeating, overdrinking, whatever the case might be. So sitting with those feelings can really be challenging sometimes, but we have to find healthier ways, right? If we want to be physically healthy, financially healthy, mentally healthy, like we need to make sure that we, number one, have an awareness and understand what those spending triggers are, what the triggers are for whatever the habit, behavior that you're trying to change is. And then how can you sit with those feelings? Right? And usually, if you sit with those feelings, then you don't need something to sort of cope.

Speaker 1:

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Speaker 1:

I could always justify a purchase. I was one of those people that when I learned how to coupon oh my goodness. I loved couponing because I loved how to find a good deal and a discount, but I wasn't really saving money, because I would save money on six rolls or six packs of toilet paper, but then I would just spend money on something else, and so there was also this disconnect of what saving money meant. Like I love the game, like game of fine money, right, and so I love the couponing and trying to get a good deal on a hotel or travel, and I still love that to this day. But what I was saying was that I was saving money and I was just spending less money in one category so that I could spend more money in another category. That didn't even matter to me. What mattered to me was things like traveling, but I wasn't even spending the money that I saved on toilet paper to put it to travel. I was just spending it on other stuff, other stuff that you can't even remember because it doesn't have any value in your life.

Speaker 1:

I want you to think Anyone who's listening, I want you to think about that. When you think about how much money and it sounds like you did this, wally, when you got that, bringing it all the way back to that social security statement and you totaled up all the money you made and you couldn't even remember what you spent it on it's because you spent it on things you don't value, and when you can spend money on things that you value. You remember it. It's exciting to cut back in other areas because you know you're going to get to spend it on a trip with your loved ones or go see and do something that you've always wanted to do, right? Yeah, exactly, and I will say this is a challenge, or maybe something that I urge everyone to do.

Speaker 1:

Today I don't think the Social Security Administration mails out those earnings statements anymore, but that's because you can go online to the Social Security Administration website and there is a button that says Create an account. And you want to create an account to see your earnings income statement and I challenge you to see how much money you've made over your lifetime and to see whether or not that amount, the amount of money that you made, if you look at your account balances, if you look at your net worth, if it's reflected in that amount, right, is that a number that you feel comfortable with? And that can be hard for some people, right? Because it's sort of the realization when we say, oh, I don't make any money, oh, I don't have any money, well, you've made money, right, but what have you done with it? Is it what you've done with it something that makes you happy? Is it something that you're proud of? Or were you like me, where you didn't even know where you've spent your money?

Speaker 1:

And, as you mentioned, allison, it was a situation where I was spending money on things that I didn't even value. Yes, oh my gosh, I love that challenge. I love that challenge, and what a wonderful action step after this episode is to do that. And don't get down on yourself, because what's amazing is, while you are like a testament, you are a testimonial to the fact that you can look at that number, kind of be frustrated with your actions and then just say, okay, well, I have years ahead of me of earning money. Just because I did that in the past doesn't mean that that has to be my present or my future. And so you made specific changes, starting with that no spend challenge and being mindful of your spending, so that way you can go from kind of an impulsive spender to an intentional spender. So, oh my gosh, I love it.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so before we jump into three questions that I ask every guest, I want you to tell listeners where they can learn more about you and hear your story and see what you're putting out there in the world. Yeah, I'm most active on Instagram so you can find me at financially underscore thriving, or you can just go to my website and you'll see a little bit more about me, which is financially thrivingcom. Okay, I'll link to those. And then, wally, at the end of every episode I love to ask our guests three questions just to get to know you a little bit better outside sometimes of this money spending world. The first question is what's one thing you're looking forward to?

Speaker 1:

I am looking forward to my last day at my corporate job forever, because I'm also an early retiree. So right around that time I'm going to be spending about a month in Florida with friends and family through the holidays. So I'm really looking forward to being able to do that. Oh my goodness. So when are you retiring? I officially put in my notice about a month ago. My last day was supposed to be in September, but I had some vacation planned and there was a hiring freeze so I didn't want to leave my office down a person, so I decided to stay a little bit longer, just so that until the hiring freeze lifted. So I'm kind of in that mindset already of like I'm gone, I'm out of here, yes, I'm headed to Iceland soon and then spending time again once the holidays come up. Being able to just spend time with family and friends during the holidays is something I'm really looking forward to.

Speaker 1:

Oh my goodness, I feel like we could do a whole other episode about how you made that happen and, just financially, the moves you took and what you're going to be doing from here on out to have more money come in. That's a whole other thing. So maybe we'll have to schedule that. That's incredible Congratulations. Thank you so much. It was actually. We met at our money, our power and I got some coaching during one of the sessions there and sort of maybe question like, why am I still at my ninth to five? And I didn't really have an answer because financially, I was able to walk away. That's a really great reason to make sure you surround yourself with like-minded people, get the accountability and support and people who will really push you, because it really changed my life. That's awesome. Oh my gosh, that's so good to hear.

Speaker 1:

So the second question is what's one money mistake you've made that you would tell everybody to avoid Buying a time share? Do not buy a timeshare, girl, we are the same person. I have also kind of bought a timeshare, so I was lucky enough that I always knew timeshares were horrible. I never bought into this as an investment, but there was a presentation and there was a piece of the presentation that you know when they sit with you one on one and sort of hold you hostage for like 90 minutes or sometimes I've heard people being held hostage for like four hours and one of the things that he told me was basically sold me on something that didn't exist. And one of the best things that I did was when we went back to sign and they said, ok, we record this. I'm going to read all the like rules and regulations and things like that. And he did not mention the piece that he told me. So while we were in the room and being recorded, I mentioned that thing. I said I just want to clarify that this is the because I again, I didn't buy into that. It was an investment.

Speaker 1:

But one of the things that he mentioned was you could rent the. You could rent a room I don't remember if it was a one bedroom or two bedroom for X amount of dollars, except during high season, like Christmas and like Fourth of July weekend for a set fee and it was like I think it was like $250. Ok, ok, that sounds too good to be true. But I was like, oh, wow, for $250, I could like any time, that sounds great. Well, because I did that, because I sort of made sure to list that, when I tried to book the room under those conditions and they were like, oh, we don't have that, that doesn't exist. I asked for the recording, oh, and I was able to get 100 percent and nobody like does this, and it took months. But I threatened them with a lawsuit because I asked them for recording of that conversation, of the signing, and because of that I was able to get every single dollar. I didn't, they didn't stay, not with a penny, but it's again, it was.

Speaker 1:

It's one of those things where it's just like I guess this could be any sales. But time shares in particular can be so predatory and they try to sell you on a dream and it's not worth it. Just pay for the vacation. Time shares are not an investment. You can buy them if you really wanted them. You could buy them for pennies on the dollar. Yes, Second market, but yes, so that is a money mistake that, thankfully, I was able to remedy. But most people do not. Some people get stuck with them for years and are out thousands of dollars. So, oh my gosh, that's a good one for everyone to know, really. So my last question isn't a question at all. Just finish this sentence.

Speaker 1:

My favorite thing I've ever spent money on is I had two wedding dresses on my wedding. Oh, that's a fun one. Oh, my goodness, tell me about it. Okay, so I would have said travel, but I feel like a lot of people say travel and I've talked about traveling is something that I love to do, so any trip that I've ever done has been that. But I think a lot of sometimes people will regret the amount of money that they spent on weddings and things like that. I don't have a regret on that, and one of the things that I did was that I had a ceremony dress and I had a reception dress, and the reason why it was one of the best decisions that I made was my wedding dress. I knew I wanted it to be like big and fluffy and frufru, but I didn't want to spend hours in it, so I bought another dress that was simpler, and I know people think that that's crazy and a waste. Actually, I sold both of those dresses afterwards. Really, yes, I did so, but it was the best money that I ever spent on. I felt beautiful, I had two different looks, I felt comfortable and I don't have any regrets doing that. Oh, I love it. Well, this was so great.

Speaker 1:

Wally, thank you so much for sharing your journey and opening up and getting personal about your spending patterns and just kind of understanding yourself better. Yes, thank you so much for having me. I love having this conversation with you. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and if you want to listen to another podcast that particularly covers impulse spending in detail, go listen to episode number 72. And, as always, if you're enjoying the Inspire Budget podcast, please leave a rating or review. I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. See you then.

Overcoming Impulsive Shopping Habits
Building Financial Awareness, Overcoming Spending Triggers
Saving Money and Making Financial Changes