Episode 203: Find the Right People, Learn the Right Things, Become the Right Person

Somewhere between setting the goal and achieving it, something breaks down. And it's almost never what you think it is.

In this conversation, Jamie sits down with Bren Ward for an honest look at what it actually takes to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be, and why the answer is simpler than most people think.

✅ Why the knowledge gap is the real reason people stay stuck, and where to go find it 
✅ How surrounding yourself with the right people shortcuts years of costly trial and error 
✅ Why motivation is overrated and what replaces it when you get this right 
✅ The three-step framework behind every person who has ever made lasting change 
✅ How to stop managing your goals and start becoming the person who already has them 
✅ Why your calendar is the truest reflection of what you actually want from your life

If you have been working hard and still wondering why things aren't moving, this episode is your reminder that the right knowledge, the right people, and the right identity can change the trajectory of your life faster than you think.

________________  

PS: Whenever you’re ready… here are the fastest 4 ways we can help you fix and grow your accounting firm:  

 1. Download our famous Wize Freedom Map for FREE - Find out the 96 projects every firm owner must implement to build a $5M+ firm that can run without them - Download here 

2. Need to Hire right now? Book a 1:1 FREE discovery call with our WizeTalent hiring coaches to help find your next team member the Wize Way – Click Here 

3. Work with Jamie and our mentors for 8 weeks - Build a custom business plan for your firm - Apply here

Transcript

Welcome And The Freedom Goal

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to The Wise Way, the show for accounting and bookkeeping firm owners who want more time, profit, and freedom in a business that can run without them. I'm Brendan Ward, your host, and each week we deep dive into the real stories, proven strategies, and battle-tested tools from successful firm owners just like you. Our wise mentors want to share their journey of how they've scaled and systemized their way to freedom so you can too. If you're stuck in the grind or you're ready to scale smarter, this is your blueprint. Let's get into the episode. Jamie, welcome. Thanks, friend. The Wise Way Podcast coming to you live again from Law. Welcome everyone, if you're watching this on YouTube. I uh put you on the spot for this podcast. 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Probably not. No one. Just where you'd want to be, I'd say. But I did a a little workout in your home gym this morning. And my mind, my marketing mind was racing, thinking that there was some great content to be captured here. But more importantly, I I couldn't help but find that wherever I go in this beautiful house that you've created from scratch, I'm surrounded by little reminders of your dreams and your goals. And I I don't think that's a a coincidence or a fluke. I think that's designed. So I wanted to talk to you about dreams and goals and bringing those things to life because we are uh we're in the midst of putting our workshop presentation together for our wise intensive in Brisbane. Um and a lot of that conversation has been around what it actually means to turn goals into reality because you know we're we're heavily invested in helping people achieve their own goals, but sometimes you know, there's so much noise around it that um it's hard to see, you know, the the forest for the trees. Um so I want to start by asking where is your like when you look at your journey of setting goals and and and bringing those goals to life, what's worked, what hasn't? What did you learn that you had to unlearn? Where like what comes to mind when we talk about goals?

Knowledge And The Grit To Persist

SPEAKER_05 2:42

Yeah, the first thing that comes to mind I think is like just lacking knowledge. Like without the knowledge of how to get there, that's the most difficult bit because you know, we're born into the world, we don't really have an instruction book. Like you could we don't have any book to work out how do we actually get the best out of ourselves. So, you know, that's part of the problem is not having the knowledge to work out, you know, how to get from from A to Z. But uh, you know, once you get once you get the knowledge and you know, you gotta you gotta overlay that with consistency and persistency. Um, I think most people can tend to give up. We can tend to give up too early. Um you know, like when I bought my first business, really without much help or any guidance, like I lost a truckload of money. You know. So um I could have given up. I could have given up at that point and said, Oh, this, you know, oh this doesn't work. So I'm not gonna do that again. But, you know, thank goodness went to went on to buy probably, you know, nine to ten other businesses and you know, majority all them worked out. So I I think we like give up too early once we once we do find the knowledge, is I think most of us give up too early. So it's probably the 80-20 year rule. You might have 20% of you know failures, um, but if you don't give up, the other 80% are gonna weigh out way like what failures you do have. So, you know, I think the sort of two big factors is one, you've got to find the knowledge of how to get to your goals and fulfill your dreams. And that's gonna be a journey, like it's not gonna be a short-term quick fix. Um but the other one is just like dog and persistency, you know. It's like you know, the Winston Churchill never surrender, like you've got to have that mentality. Um and the way to have that persistency, consistency is to tie the destination, is to tie the journey to the destination. So, you know, if if your why is big enough and you know why you want to get there, um, you just won't stop. Because whatever your goals are, like, you know, whether it's building software, uh whether it's changing careers or whatever, if that's part of your why, like, and you align that almost to your DNA, like you don't need motivation. You know, like everyone talks about being motivated, but I found after well, I I don't even need motivation because you become, in essence, like the what you want. So you'll find that what happens is when you're in the right zone, your work becomes your fun. You know, because a lot of people say about work life balance, yeah, and I've got to have work life balance. Uh, you move away beyond that, your work um becomes your life, but not in a bad way. Like, because it comes back to the old saying, um, you know, if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. And it's and I think that's probably the goal that people need to say, well, you know, I I love what I do and I'll never work a day in my life. And that's where that's where the motivation just exits out, you know, the back door, and then you're just pulled along because you love what you do. You've got that pulling force rather than having to like brute force. Yeah.

Build A Why That Pulls You

SPEAKER_05 6:22

Well, it's you know, it's sort of like the chat this morning we have with um, you know, a chap in the US, he's thinking about, you know, a massive commitment to building some software. And, you know, I I always sort of like really go back to basic principles. Is this part of your why? You know, and not just flippantly saying it, because building software can get difficult or achieving any goal can get difficult. So if it's not actually attached to your why, you'll like you'll give up. But you know, the other part of it, as I said earlier, is getting the knowledge, and I think I think that's a big part of um the problem is that we don't have the knowledge. Like school teaches us a certain thing to probably be an employee, um, but it doesn't really get you to think for yourself and imagine and create um like what you actually want to do or who you want to become. Who you want to be. Yeah, like who you want to be. So it's sort of more school probably focuses more on just oh, what your strengths are, you know, you're good at chemistry, you're good at maths, or you might be good with your hands. Um but I think your career and your life is much bigger than that. So like it's like who you want to become, who do you want to influence, and probably how do you want to be remembered, you know, um at least by your immediate family. Um so yeah, and in essence, it's to uh we're only here for a short amount of time. So why not do something you love? Because you know, one or two or three generations from now, no one's gonna remember you. Yeah. No one's even gonna care.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

You know, like I heard something yesterday where he was talking about, you know, everyone preaching, we have to have purpose and know exactly what your purpose is. And and then he's like, but sometimes I think I'm a tiny little pinprick on this rock that's spinning around the sun at a million miles an hour in a universe that's like one galaxy of a hundred million galaxies. So I think we can take ourselves a little bit too seriously sometimes and then lose perspective of yeah, you know, like you said, and we were talking about dogs yesterday, and we're like, why are dogs so happy? Because they they know they've got 12 to 14 years on this planet and they squeeze every ounce of it out.

SPEAKER_05 8:43

It's like every time you come out and see the dog again half an hour later, it's like, oh, I haven't seen you for years, and they jump all over and they're and they're so happy. Yeah, they they've got a pack all their life down in just a you know 10 years.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

So I find this like a dog. Absolutely. I find it's interesting, right? I I like asking people, um, and you know, all different uh colours of life, old people, young people, what their theme is for the year, what their goals are, and um what I uh what I've noticed is people are very quick to tell you what they don't want. They're really quick to tell you what they don't want, but struggle to tell you what they do want. And then when they have the choice between surviving and thriving, they're they're sort of they resort to you know, I just want to survive. Yeah, yeah. I just want you to talk to that because I I find that yeah really interesting, and whether that's a biological thing or you know, are we hardwired that way and we have to overcome that? What's your thoughts?

Values First Then Long-Term Choices

SPEAKER_05 9:47

Yeah, I think it's just a psychological uh point that you make there. And the fact that a lot of people make short-term decisions is is because they don't know like what their values are. So that so they don't know what their values are. They're not clear on what they actually believe, um, they're not clear on like who they want to become. And they're also not clear on sort of like the really strategic goals of, you know, say, for example, when they're 60, what they want their life to actually be like. I mean, these days, when you're 60, I mean, you know, my the average lifespan's 80, but the way we're going, I think, you know, it keeps getting uh extended. And so you've got another 20 or 30 years to live, and that's a long time. Yeah. So I think is it I think it's a lack of clarity. So unless you're unless you're clear on your values, your purpose, your meaning, your why, your beliefs, um, you will tend to make short-term, you'll absolutely make short short-term decisions that aren't in alignment with what you really want long term. So, you know, it's um it always fascinates me, Brent, that you know, when we go on a holiday, you know, like last year we were like we're getting a holiday, first family holiday ever to Europe, and everything was mapped out like where we're stopped, um, how long we'd stay, uh, what transportation would take. And when you think about it with our lives, we don't do any of that. Like, we don't do any of that. So we're not half the time we're not really clear on what we value. Like it's not it, it's never in writing. Whereas when you plan a holiday, like in writing, everyone's got a copy, so everyone's got a copy of that plan. Other people know about it. Other people know about it. You know, that's just your holiday. Yeah, like isn't your life so much more important? Yeah, like, you know, if you've got a partner, do they know what you actually want and who you want to become, what your values are, what your beliefs are. Like it's sort of, we might call it the inner work, but unless you have that, you know, your circumstances will pull you here, pull you there, and it's all short-term thinking. And it's a bit like I think, you know, social media and society, it's always instant gratification, isn't it? It's like always instant.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

But yeah, that's the interesting thing, right? At the moment, right? It's like the things that come to mind for me is like the protein bars and the the Ozempic fat loss drugs and the AI. It's like every every one of these things is trying to shortcut the work or the journey.

SPEAKER_05 12:28

Well, it's like hiring people say, Oh, I just want to hire someone. They say, I just want to hire someone who can do the job. You know, I don't want to invest in them. Um, I don't want to have to train them, you know, and they're looking for a superstar. You know, it doesn't work like that. Like I I can think of half a dozen things right now that I've literally been working on for 10 years. Not not one year, not five years. It's like Dan Martell says, you know, have you got a 10-year plan? Heaps of things I've done, I started thinking about when I was like in my 30s, yeah, you know, 40s, I'm you know, in the 50s now. But, you know, um, if you ask people these days, probably just in the street, oh have have you got a 10-year goal? You know, imagine if you did a you'll probably find no one, you know, to one percent would actually say, Yeah, I've actually got a 10-year written plan. I know what that is. Yeah. And here it is. And and and here it is. So I I think that's sort of a big part of the problem, is that um everything's so short-sighted.

Instant Gratification Versus Real Progress

SPEAKER_05 13:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

You know, instant gratification. One of the things I love that you said over the last couple of days when we've been mapping this presentation out is um if if you don't have that plan, you'll fall into someone else's. Someone else will make a plan for you. And you know, in the context of our our work, you said, you know, I didn't have a plan, and then the government gave me my plan because it was you do the next tax return. My plan was do the next tax return back, that's right.

SPEAKER_05 14:00

Back back when I was on the tools, if you like.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Yeah, I thought that was really interesting. And I I want to talk to you about it in the context of the youth and our next generation coming through, because um, for anyone who knows you, you're not shy of sparking up a conversation with a stranger in the street, uh, which I think is a great quality. Um, but I I just could if I look back over the last year, you've probably had a dozen conversations with parents of you know youth or young young adults, and when you talk to them about what you do, their immediate reaction is, can you do something with my kids? Because they have no idea what they want to do in their life, and you know, they're totally lost. And yeah, you know, we talk about this often. It's fascinating because you know, we're sitting here in May 2026 in this revolution of AI, and every social media company in the world, their mission is to connect everyone and you know to empower everyone. Yeah, yes, the everyday parent is so concerned about their kids.

SPEAKER_05 15:06

Yeah, it's that's a whole nother topic, but yeah, it's a it's an interesting one because yeah, parents do ask me, they say, Well, how can I get my kids to find like what they should be doing and what they enjoy doing? And like, you know, often it's like someone who's like 25, uh even 30, still living at home. Yeah. Um, you know, they say, Well, we can't afford um, you know, the house they want. But, you know, the the fact the fact is I think with the uh that generation or potentially the younger generation, they want to go like from A to Z straight away. You know. Um to get into my dream home, you know, over my lifetime, I think I had six or seven different houses. So, you know, you've got to think about is it the instant gratification the problem? Is it the economy's a problem? Is it the is is you know, is the weather the problem? Is the government the problem? Like you can you can blame everything, but unless you learn that you've gotta like buy a little house, start really small, renovate it, run down, and then take another step instead of buying a brand new house with all brand new furniture. That's going A to Z. That's not reality. Like that's not reality. You know, part of the problem is that I think the younger generation has just been brought up with you know the iPhone and it's like an instant click. Yeah, you know, it's like bang, I've got it, you know. I've got it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:39

Like reality doesn't work like that.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

You know, told by their parents and everything that they're a winner all the time and that they can they can have things instantly. And yeah, yeah, so you can see from their perspective, it's almost like their programming's been programmed in a certain way, but then they set up failure when it comes to actual living in the world. Yeah, I mean that it's it's a whole topic, but um, you know, I I think what would you say to someone who's in their sort of mid-20s, even in you know, thinking about in their their their foray into the accounting world, um, because everyone listening, most listening are entrepreneurial accountants. What would you say to that mid-20-year-old on this topic of goal planning?

The Seven Stories Career Clarity Tool

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Like, where do they start?

SPEAKER_05 17:30

Yeah, well, look, the first step is really understanding what it is you want. And, you know, one of the greatest tools we ever do is what we call the seven stories. Um, so with the seven stories process, um, in essence, you've really got to determine, you know, probably seven of your greatest, memorable, proudest moments you've ever had. And when once you document that um and take that and sort of again, you can use AI because it is good, you can sort of put your seven stories in the your AI and basically say, you know, what are the what you know, based on my traits, based on my character strength, um, what are the top three professions that would suit me? You know, or even further, get get your actual position description. So, you know, if you listen to this and you've got your position description and you do the seven stories, put that in AI and say, you know, based on my seven stories, uh, which are my top life and professional achievements, does this, you know, does this role I have actually suit that? And if you know, and then you can say, give me a one to ten, and it will tell you, you know, if it's a good fit or not. Like that's that's one of the best places to start. Um the key to the seven stories is in the details. So so for each most memorable, proudest moment, you know, if you can write about 200 words, uh always saying five areas, what, when, where, how, why, and who. Like, yeah. So the more detail you can put to that, feed that into the AI, um, you'll really get to understand what you're good at and um what your character traits are, and then from that, you know, the AI will help you really match. Yes, you should be in this role, and it's a nine out of ten or it's a ten out of ten match, versus, no, look, this role really doesn't suit you for whatever reason you've landed on your feet in this career, and so you need to take another path. Um, you know, I'm told it's one of the things that Harvard University and Yale, Yale uh in the US use to help, you know, help their graduates determine or their students what they should be doing.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

That's really interesting. I've seen the process firsthand, and it's it's fascinating from uh an employer perspective to get an insight into that. You're a team member, but for a team member to have that tool to kind of cut again, cut through that noise and give them perspective on what what their career pathway could look like if they were to lean into their strengths.

SPEAKER_05 20:04

And the the thing on that too is like as people, our personalities, we uh it's a bit like an iceberg, that analogy of an iceberg, like we only really see the 10% at the top of the iceberg. Like that's what people are like. Um we don't actually see the 90% that sits under the water. So what you want to do as a as an individual or an employer is to find out the 90%, because it's actually the 90% that will count in the most difficult times in the career, yeah, and whether you move forward or not. Yeah. Dr. Stephen Cubby calls it, he calls it the personality versus the character ethic. So he did he did like a 200-year study of what success and happiness means, and he found that um a lot of people can just focus on the personality ethic, um, which is sort of driven by your ego, status, social media, sort of the external, yeah. Yeah, and but often it's like unfulfilling, and and like that's why you tend you tend to see a lot of very famous and rich and wealthy people who you know are probably some of the most unhappiest people um you admit because they focus on the personality ethic and not the not the character ethic, not not who they really should be and what they value.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Yeah. So under this sort of umbrella of goals, goal setting, yeah, there's a spectrum of spiritual, um, spiritual knowledge, so the law of attraction and and things like that, and then all the way over to neuroscience where we're talking about uh the brain and um the reticular activating system, which I want to touch on in a second. So there's there's all these different facets of uh how people think about goals across all of them. What have what's resonated most with you? Like what's really clicked in terms of ah, I get it. Yeah.

The Three Rs Of Lasting Change

SPEAKER_05 22:01

Yeah, I think there's two or three frameworks that sort of come to mind that really um click for me. Um, I would say the first one would be the three R's. So a few years ago I read a book called Bait, you know, because I knew that I I wanted to change. Like the first realization is take responsibility, responsibility for yourself. That's sort of like the first realization. Like, no one's coming to save me. No one's coming to save us, Brent. Like, it's me. And I'm out in this ocean by myself. That's that's what you have to realize. Once you realize that, you've got to you've got to say to yourself, well, in order to get to where I want to go, get to my dreams and goals, like, what do I need? And and so, in essence, change or die, um, it's a it's a deep dive into how to actually change yourself. And the book's really fascinating, right? Because it talks about hardened criminals, um, you know, people who are about to die. And either the correctional system says, look, if you keep doing this, you're gonna get shot, or if you keep doing this, you're gonna have a heart attack in six months. Um, and it and it's really scary because the the the author says, and based on his research, that only about 10% of people actually uh implement sustained change. And so I sort of I use that on myself for like business purposes and business coaching. But the solution is the three R's, and it's really fascinating. And so he so he talks about if you actually want to have sustained change, you need three R's. And the first R is relation, the second R is repeat, and the third R is review. Um, and so what the author says is that in order to have sustained change, you've got to relate to someone at a an emotional and an intellectual level, like a tribe or a community or a person um who's got what you want. That's the important bit. So that that tribe, if you like, or that community, that person who's got what you want. And so you can use that for uh you can use that if you want to be a triathlon or a triathlete, if you want to be a sprinter, if you want to be, you know, um like a top class swimmer. So again, if you want to be a really good business person, you have to find your tribe. You know, we've spoken about this, like we've analysed this, like you have to find your tribe. You've got to be surrounding yourself with people who have got what you want, because they've got the knowledge, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:39

I even think of because sometimes we fall into the trap and go, that's fine for those roles, because I can go and easily find a lead swimmer or whatever. But even if you're in an admin role or a customer service role or an accountant role, it still applies, right? Like you can still jump onto LinkedIn and find amazing customer service, you know, successful professionals, yeah, reach out to them and and build that relationship. Exactly. Nothing's off limits. There's no boundaries.

SPEAKER_05 25:10

There's no boundaries to it. No. So that's the first art. And then the second art is repeat. You have to repeat the skill or the knowledge that they tell you, but over the long term, not like just, oh, I'll do this for a month, or you know, I'll do this, uh, I'll do this for three months. You've you you in essence you've got to commit to it until the their way of thinking and the skills uh and the knowledge that they give you is ingrained in your DNA, is ingrained in your habits. So whether that's one year or three years, um, it's really up to you. What I have found is about three years on average is the time that it takes like to maintain sustainable change. And if you think about it, like everyone, you know, a lot of people will do some sort of apprenticeship, right? I'll do a university undergraduate degree. All of those are three or four years. Yeah. So this whole process is just like like that uh university of life changed myself. So you've you've got to repeat um what they do. And the beautiful thing about it is that when you get involved in a community, uh even a community like WISE, what happens straight away? You get to meet everyone, um, and all the events go in your calendar. It's no different with a personal trainer or or that tribe, it goes in your calendar. And when it goes in the calendar, 80% of it's just turning up. Like it's literally just turn up, just get out of bed and just don't overthink it, you know, be and turn up because when you're there, you know, the the other 20% will happen. And then the last change is is is to review or reflect. The last hour of the three hours is to, you know, once a week at least, I actually have in my own calendar on a Sunday up. So yeah, how did I go this week? And just spend five, ten minutes saying, you know, was I a better version of myself today than I was a week ago? Like, did I behave, did I conduct myself, and did I actually put things into action that actually improve my situation and didn't make it go backwards? Because the fact is, every every thought, every situation, every interaction you have with someone every day, it's either moving you forward or it's moving you backwards. And that's the reality and the brutality of life. Like what you think um will help you, will determine like your decisions on how you interact with people. Your decisions then will determine your actions, your actions then will determine um, in essence, your character, and then your character will determine your destiny, you know. So you we come down from really high level goals, dreams, how do we get them? You know, personal mission statement development, and then you get down to the reality of just applying the three R's, and then um that's practical because a lot of because you always say to me, Hey do you mean I know all this theory, but how do I actually use that today? Yeah, what does it mean? What does it mean to me right now? And you know, you don't want to overthink this. What it means right now is uh that if I look at my calendar now and it says that at 5 30 I'm gonna go do sprint training, I'm gonna do sprint training. That's where that's where transformation

Put Transformation In Your Calendar

SPEAKER_05 28:34

lives. People want transformation, it lives in your calendar. So if I if I see anyone's calendar, and if I look at your calendar, right, and I know you've just begun the journey and you're not on automation, I'll say, hey Brent, where's your exercise in your calendar? Where's the family time in your calendar? Where's uh delegating in your calendar? Where's where's helping others in your calendar? Where's picking up rubbish in your calendar? Right? So once that's in your calendar and you're living that right, then you're creating new habits. And then you're sort of firing, firing and connecting, making those new connections. Yeah. That's right, because then you get to the point where I think I'm at is like what I call unconscious in uh competency, you know. So we then this is the other framework I was talking about, right? Is on this whole journey we go through four levels of learning, you know. So the first level is you don't know what you don't know. You just you literally don't know what you don't know. So get rid of the ego, you know, you haven't got your dreams and goals, so get rid of your ego and never say, Oh, I'm different. You know, a lot of time we hear, oh, I'm different, Jamie. My business is um different. And it's this won't work for me because this won't work for me because we have X, Y, and Z. I've heard it a million times now, right? But in essence, people have to get rid of the ego and say, I don't know what I don't know. And what that means is you're unconscious of your incompetency. So you're at stage one. Stage two is you've dropped the ego and you're willing to listen to the tribe, you're willing to listen to the community, right? And then you go, Oh, I've been doing this wrong. I've been following this procedure, or I don't have a procedure, or haven't been following that process, but the tribe says, This is how we do it. And then you drop the ego, and then all of a sudden the light bulb goes on, and you're conscious of your incompetency. So you're aware. You know, great leadership is having aware of where you're stuffing up. So that's like stage two. And then and then what happens at uh at stage three is um you go to another level of learning, and you're then what is you're you become conscious or aware of your competency. So you so you start developing new habits, and you're just like, oh, if I do this, I get that result, right? And but you're sort of like you have to you actually have to think it through a lot more. It's like, oh, I've got to remember to follow that process. I've got to remember to follow this and whatever. So that's like conscious of your competency. And then the last level learning, once you've once you've ingrained this new way of life, this new way of thinking, this new way of doing business, um, then you move to like stage four, which is like uh, you know, like when Luke Skywalker, you know, he becomes a Jedi Knight master, he graduates, you know, and you remember in the start when he's trying to get the sword out of the snow, yeah, and it's a real struggle. And then when he's a Jedi Knight Master, he just like thinks it and that's when it happens. Just happens. And that and that's what we call unconscious competency. So you're unconscious, it's ingrained in you of your competency. So you so you don't need all that stuff in your calendar, right? So you just remove all that because you're on you're on autopilot.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

But then but then also there's levels to the game, so it's like a repeating loop, isn't it? That four phases, because then you go to that next level of what now what am I on you know, unconsciously uh unconscious incompetence. Like it's that next layer of thinking where your frequency kind of goes up.

SPEAKER_05 32:17

So that just repeats. It just repeats, particularly in the context of another goal. So it's like me, say, wanting to play drums. So same four levels. I don't know what I don't know. I wouldn't even know how to play a drum. So you get rid of the ego, you've got to get rid of the the ego is the enemy in this stuff. Like, you know, uh, it's there's a lot of discussion about what the ego and and like who you should be and all that sort of thing. So if I wanted to play drums, I'm gonna start at this four, I'm gonna go through the four levels again. If I want to build a big business, I'm gonna go through the four levels again. It just repeats itself. And you know, probably the last framework that comes to mind from your question a few minutes ago was the rule of 33.

Coaching Peers And Paying It Forward

SPEAKER_05 33:00

You know, the rule of 33 is it's very much related to the three R's, but in essence, it's learn, share, teach. And so uh anyone who really wants to achieve their goal should spend a third of their time with their mentor, with a coach. You know, how often do we see in a sporting world, even young kids, we all have coaches? You know, and and this is what fascinates me at business. So many people are in small businesses like all over the globe. Yeah, millions. And do they have a coach?

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Very, very few, less than 1%.

SPEAKER_05 33:32

Like, how much time do they spend there? More time with their family, more time than they thought they were going to. Yeah, like um, how much do they invest in their business? Yeah, there's a mortgage against the house normally. Get a coach for crying out loud. Like, so you know, spend a third of your time with someone who can who's who's got what you want, who's done it, who's been there, and can a rock, you know, can uh avoid all the robots. And then the other thing is um share that knowledge with your peers or small business people or um you know in your industry, in your community, your tribe. In your tribe, because you know, like you either need one little percent of idea, oh we use this software to do this. And so just ideas is is so much better than time. Um and then that and then so that's the other that's the other 33%. And the last 33% is to give back. And when what we mean by that is like um teach other people or pay it forward. So what you learn from you know that mentor that you're hanging out with, or third, teach other people that become the mentor. Become the mentor. I know in our workshops I love that question. I'll I'll say to everyone, like, and it doesn't matter if it's a 50 people or a hundred people, Brian, I'll say uh everyone, put in the chat the one person who gave you an opportunity, put in the chat the one person who had an impact to you on you, gave you a chance. And like almost instantly, everyone will go, they'll just know exactly how it is, right? And it's like because they had an impact, and then and then I'll reverse it and I say, okay, who are you gonna be the hero for? And they're like, Yeah, it's it's like, yeah, uh, I don't know. Like, you know, they don't know. You you should know. You should know, like, you know, I'm intentional. Yeah, I know, I know right now instantly, probably five or six people that I've had like a definitive 100% impact on their lives and how they think, you know, like you and you know, ten years ago I didn't think like that, but that's what I'm saying. Like, pay it back, you know, and a lot of the time too, um you you know, there's you want to sort of do it in private. You don't have to tell the world about, you know, oh, you know, I'm helping a guy from Spain who I met, you know, just out of the goodness of my heart. That's just that's just something that you want to do to to help. And um, you know, so it doesn't need to be public, it can be private or whatever, whoever you want to help, you just do it because you know what? It's bloody good for you. You know, if you're if you're seeking down and out and sitting at home alone, go to a nursing home and go and see some old people. You know, bring some flowers.

SPEAKER_04 36:18

Like go and talk to a stranger, sitting on the park bench or whatever. That's how you you know, you get out of that rut by helping others. Help others.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

It's always something worse off. Get away from yourself and overhouse others.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

Yeah,

RAS How Your Brain Filters Opportunity

SPEAKER_03 36:33

yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

So on that spectrum that I mentioned, uh one of the things that we've kind of locked onto recently and become quite fascinated with is uh the RAS system or the reticular activate system. That's which is very fascinating. And for for me, there's a lot of things that have clicked into place since discovering what this system is. So talk talk us through your your version of what it is and and what impact it can have on this goal setting process. Yeah, the goal setting process, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:06

Well, sort of probably to give everyone context, uh, when I was about 17, went through a really difficult patch, uh, as most of us do in the teenage years. And um, so at that particular time, I think it was 1988, I wrote down like some, just wrote down some goals, like really big, heartfelt, like emotional goals of what I wanted to achieve. Little did I know at the time that I was reprogramming myself. Looking back now, knowing this like psychological or so You're very advanced for a 17-year-old. Yeah, like yeah, I was like a deep figure. But little did I know I was actually reprograming, reprogramming, reprogramming my brain. And uh there's this thing in our brain called the the RAS, the reticular activating um system. And so what behavioral scientists have found is that uh at any point in time, I think it's 11 billion million. Oh sorry, eleven million bits of information per second that our five senses are taking in. Um but this this RAS it's the main thing in your brain that uh filters like what you want to uh notice or have attention to or or or actually be aware of. It's it's like a filter. And so when I wrote down my goals at 17, all of a sudden, there's a filter. I'm starting to put a filter because our mind and brain and physical senses can only take in about 40 to 50 bits per second. So you're looking at 40 to 50 bits per second versus 11 million that were actually hit with, and it's the RAS that filters it. So what actually happens is when you write down um your beliefs, your values, and who you want to become, and you do that like in a very emotional and a personal sense, it then uh reprograms your RAS. So all of a sudden, uh in your life and in circumstances, you start noticing the person that can help you. It's fascinating. So you've you've hardwired your brain to say, oh, that person can help me with who I want to become. That person aligns with my beliefs, and that person aligns with my values. So all of a sudden, you'll get back to the office and you'll send that person an email and say, Hey, look, there was a couple of things you said that caught my attention. How often have we heard that? There was a couple of things you said that caught my attention. That's your as. Yeah. Right? And then you reach out and say, Hey, can you help me with this? And then they go, Yeah, I can help you with that. And then you're on your journey. Like you're fulfilling all the other frameworks, you know, the the three R's, the rule of 33. Um, and then there'll be also other circumstances, for example, like where you'll do something, you'll fail. Right? And then in that and fail is only fail if you give up, but you'll do something and you'll say, Oh, um, I'm gonna try again because my RAS, you know, my my values, my beliefs is consistency and persistency. And I want to be remembered um as a person who didn't give up, or you know, I want to be remembered by my family as someone who is determined. So, what's determined? Try again. So you you're you're already building it in there. You know, you know, you don't want to be remembered in your eulogy as oh, Jamie gave up at every every you know, every second little thing that happened, he just gave up. Yeah. Right. That's not in my Raz. Like your Raz is the opposite. You never give up. Yeah. Right. It's like Elon Musk, you know, the guy interviewing, he says, um, what if you failed? And then Elon Musk goes, I'd rather be dead than give up. You know, that that guy's Raz is like locked off. He's his Raz is like programming. He would sacrifice, you know, probably too much, yeah, people would say, for the goal, you know. So but it but in in history's hindsight, it is people like that that uh are willing to sacrifice everything, actually move the human race forward.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

Yeah, and we need those people, and I think sometimes judgment creeps in a little too quickly with those people who criticize. Yeah, we have to remove that.

SPEAKER_05 41:32

Um so yeah, that this reticular uh activating system is scientifically basically proven. And so if you're not programming a brain, like if you're not programming your filter, then guess what is gonna come in? Everything. You know, it's a bit like when you go into the service station and there's ten chocolate buttons there, like you just go, oh, it was a bottom lot, you know, I'll just have one of them. Yeah. You know, there's no it's a bit you know, another analogy, everyone, it's like, you know, you're on that ocean out there and you're on a nice, most valuable ship, it's worth millions of dollars, it's a really f fasisticated ship, and it's got no rudder, it's got no compass. So that this you know, this beautiful ship, which is yourself, you know, most important thing in the world, which a human being is, it's got no direction. Yeah. And you but the sea the seed will take you where it wants to take you. It'll take you where it wants, yeah. So you've gotta you've got to reprogram yourself and get that RAS into shape. And uh we've got tools to do that.

SPEAKER_00 42:38

So let's bring this to a close with our one thing.

Write Your Eulogy Then Your Mission

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Um, based on the conversation that we've had, what's what's the one thing that you'd like someone to take away from this conversation around goals? Do we want a an easy one or a hard one?

SPEAKER_05 42:55

The right one. The right one. Yeah, the right is the one you think of first. Yeah, the right one is to be honest with everyone, is to write your own eulogy and then convert that to a personal missing statement. And if you take the time to do that, you can reach out to us to get a copy of how actually how to do that. You're gonna reprogram yourself and you're gonna you're gonna adjust that RAS. And then the people, the circumstances, the tools, the resources, the support will all start turning up in your life because your RAS uh will will notice it. It's it's yeah, everything that we need's already there. I love how we talk about this. Like everything that we need, it's already there. It's this if we've got to get another torch, a light that's a bit different, and shine it on where the solution actually is in the dark room. So that's the the takeaway. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

Well, thank you. Great conversation, as always. Hope everyone listening can take away something from that. Um that light's gone nice and dark there, so Hope you could see us during that conversation, but uh see you next time, Jim. Cheers. Thanks, mate. Thanks

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SPEAKER_00 44:05

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