The Ambitious Bookkeeper Podcast

196 ⎸ The Comeback Blueprint: What Every Ambitious Man Needs to Hear with Cletus Coffey

• Serena Shoup, CPA • Episode 196

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In this powerful episode of The Ambitious Bookkeeper Podcast, Serena Shoup chats with Cletus Coffey, former pro athlete, single dad, and founder of Torch Training. Cletus shares his remarkable journey from professional sports to entrepreneurial failures to finding his authentic purpose through personal transformation.


In this episode you’ll hear:

  • Cletus's journey from pro athlete to struggling entrepreneur to finding true alignment
  • Practical frameworks for balancing ambition, family, and personal growth
  • How to break free from achievement addiction and redefine success beyond the "scoreboard"
  • The importance of mastering your mornings and creating structure that prioritizes self-care

Resources mentioned in this episode:

  • Cletus Coffey's website: CletusCoffey.com
  • Be The Torch Podcast
  • Morning Mastery Challenge - includes downloadable cheat sheet and video tutorial
  • BBD Live with James Wedmore (event where Serena and Cletus met)


Meet Cletus Coffey

Cletus Coffey is a former professional and world champion athlete turned founder of Be The Torch Academy. After losing his first business and navigating the challenges of divorce and being a single dad, Cletus struggled silently through a long period of pain and darkness. Through an unwavering devotion to self-mastery, he unlocked a path to greater personal power, purpose and passion, which included helping men—specifically single fathers and entrepreneurs—master their lives and businesses. Combining self-mastery with business and personal development, Cletus helps single dads who own a business, master their true authentic self so that they can finally become a man capable of experiencing happiness, fulfillment and freedom in their business and life.


Connect with Cletus Coffey

https://www.linkedin.com/in/cletuscoffey/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/torchtraining/

@cletuscoffey

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Hey, and welcome back to the Ambitious Bookkeeper Podcast. I am Serena Shoup, . And today's episode is one that I know is going to hit home for especially the men in your life or for anyone who is walking the line between ambition and overwhelm. I'm joined today by Cletus Coffey, former pro athlete, single dad, and founder of Torch Training, who brings the heat in this conversation about rebuilding your life after setbacks, mastering your mornings. And creating real structure and accountability in your personal and professional life. K Clus gets real about. Life after sports, navigating the 2008 recession, toxic partnerships, and what it really takes to rise again. He breaks down his five key pillars that he teaches, focus, family, fitness, fortune, and foundation, and how men can build a life that's aligned, energized, and on purpose. So whether you're looking to sharpen your self-discipline, build stronger habits, or just wanna hear a powerful story of resilience and reinvention, this episode is a must listen. So let's dive in. Hello and welcome back to the Ambitious Bookkeeper Podcast. Today we have a guest on, his name is Cletus Coffey, and we met. Last December at, an event called BBD Live, with James Wedmore, and I think we ended up at lunch in the same vicinity. I don't quite remember how we ended up meeting, but we. Started chatting about, you know, building a business, being single parents and all that good stuff. So I thought it would be really cool to have you on, especially because I know a lot of my audience are moms, but I also have a subset of audience who are dads trying to build a, you know, accounting business or fractional CFO business. And I thought it would be really great to have more of a. A male or masculine perspective around all of that on the show today.'cause normally I have women guesting on about that kinda stuff, so welcome to the podcast. Serena's, such a pleasure to be here. And yes, just the way the universe works. We, we ended up at lunch and just, I just valued your perspective on life and business which obviously fostered further conversations and love what you're doing. So I, I obviously couldn't wait to to join you here. Thank you for having me. Yeah. Of course. So give give our listener kind of a background of who you are and how you help people in a little bit of your journey getting there. Yeah, totally. And, and shout out to the moms and the dads who are out there trying to both follow a dream and a passion, and yet be present for those little ones. Out there. I know it's a juggle and but it's a, it's a beautiful juggle. And you know, for me, Serena, I, I, I grew up in the San Francisco Bay area, north Bay wine country, and I was a, I was the oldest of five and, and all, all girls other than me and I. Was an athlete like that. I grew up in a single parent household. my father went on, had to go on his own little journey of recovery battling alcoholism and, you know, by, by the grace of of all that is holy he's 38 years sober Wow. uh, we couldn't be more tighter, but he, he wasn't around when, when I was growing up. And so sports is what really. Was my, my safe haven. And that's where I was able to find men who were mentors or father figures. Three sport athlete in high school, went to college, played two sports in college, both football and I was a decathlete on the track and field team. And it was like, you know, sir, I don't know if it was because I always had dreams of being a professional athlete or desperation because I'd been an athlete for 85% of my life and now my college career is coming to an end. That I didn't want it to end. And so it was like, what is it? Because I'm desperate for another season or because I really want to do, go and be a pro athlete. I ended up after graduation just promoting the heck outta myself signed a contract to go play football in the Canadian Football League and then came back in the States and played four years in the Arena Football League, which in the heydays of the league in the late nineties, early two thousands, uh, it was, uh, a very, very popular league. And so I got to be a professional athlete. Until I break my leg and at the ripe age of 28, I'm quote unquote retired. And you know, it's not like, you know, being an athlete, a professional athlete is very entrepreneurial. I'm in charge of fuel in my body. I'm in charge of training it. I'm in charge of marketing and promoting myself. You know, even when having an agent, you know, it's still like getting in their ears, being like, Hey, I, this is who I know. This is who I can network with. I know this coaching staff. So it, it was very entrepreneurial. So I. I retire. And it's not like there's a little misconception about professional athletes. Yes, there are some that are making very, very good money, but the vast majority are like, Hey, I need to go get a job once I'm done. And so going from this kind of entrepreneur every day was about training and eating and practicing. I. I had a resume that said degree and football player, and I really struggled with finding work and so I found some odds and ends jobs and working in a business for three years, parking cars, and it was just like, this is not, I went from being on ESPN and people calling me asking for tickets, and how was the game to crickets? No one's calling me, no one's trying to get tickets. And I'm parking cars and I'm going, this is not the way I'm supposed to be. So I then was introduced to entrepreneurship and I was hooked, like, yes, this feels like being an athlete. So I went all in. I didn't know any entrepreneurs. I didn't know any business owners that I could talk to. My parents were not either, and so I. I just completely went in cold and was with the ego in mind thinking like, I got this, I, uh, sucked big time. Really was not a very good business owner. And I tell you what, I actually got into it during it and I realized, and I got into doing commercial finance. So I would bring the, the banks and the people wanting to buy office space, office buildings or you know, so forth. I'd bring them together. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I was like, this can make some money. And I realized that not the time, but looking back, I, I was chasing money. I was like, I just need to make some money. I gotta make some money. And if you've ever chased money before, you know, that generally leads to some, some dead ends. Uh, some really challenging times. And I ended up starting a business over time, over a span of about three, two and a half years. I had attracted. What I didn't know at the time, but later learned three convicted felons into my world who were scammers and what do you call it? Ponzi scheme type people. And it was a reflection of who I was at that time. I was desperate. I was lost. I was, my ego was all about the money and I was attracting that kinda lower frequency type people into my world, and it scared the hell out of me. This, if this is what business is about, like I don't wanna do this. Mm-hmm. I got saved the 2000, 2009 recession that we went through here in the us. I lost my business, lost everything. I lost my brokerage. I lost connections. Everything was gone. And although at the time it was a painful process of losing everything, I had just gotten married. I had already a child, and I was in a fetal position. However. It was the biggest blessing 'cause it got me out of that, that mindset and that world that I was in and sent me onto a new trajectory, if you will, in my life. So, and that trajectory was okay, now what the hell do I do? But what it did was, is I actually, for the first time, I went back into my past and said, okay, success leaves clues. There's something about being an athlete. That I'm just stuffed in the drawer and said, I don't wanna deal with this anymore. I'm, I'm a business person. I wanna, I wanna go do business. So I opened that drawer, I pulled back out the athletic Me and started to apply the things that, that I knew that I was good at, and started kind of taking opportunities and starting things that were more in alignment with that versus this finance world that I didn't know anything about. And so. I continued to struggle, you know, starting little things here. I let the speed and agility training, I started coaching and, each iteration got me closer to who I really was and what I was passionate about. But it was just like, crash and burn, crash and burn. Well, my wife at the time you know, was more than enough that she could handle and I. Not having communication skills, tools, a, a framework, any type of playbooks on how to navigate. I just was so. Embarrassed and feeling shame that I kept losing. I kept taking these big Ls and I was so frustrated and then guilty that my wife at the time had then she had to go back to work and start making money for us, and I just was just, I was full of shame and guilt and just, and it's not that I, for lack of effort and trying, I just was lost, but I didn't know how to raise my hand. So if anyone's listening who's been through these or is going through something like this. I just didn't know how to say I'm lost. I need help somebody. I, I, I mean, well, I wanna take care of my responsibilities. I just don't know where to go. But the ego in me said, no, no, no. You got this. You're the man, and you don't ask for help. So that really dug myself into a deeper hole. So, ended up going through divorce, becoming a single father and was angry. I had to close my business. I ended up just taking a job, just doing some sales. I was resentful and just quickly got into another relationship thinking like that was the answer. And that didn't serve me, uh, very well, uh, that we ended up having a child together. So I have three children with, with two co-parents, and they're, you know, looking back on it as much as. The challenges that I've gone through with them, it's, they're wonderful teachers for me. They're wonderful lessons that I've learned that finally I said, alright, enough is enough. I gotta go in on me. And so my journey to entrepreneurship now started with me getting to the truth about who I am and. Because what I've made a commitment to is the next thing I start isn't going to be chasing money, isn't gonna try to heal some unhealed part of me, or to follow some trend. It's gonna be something that's in alignment with who I really am, but I gotta discover that first. So that led me to start my, my company torch training. I have all programs called Be the Torch, really in alignment with men, entrepreneur minded, those kind of driven individuals that want to become the highest versions of themselves and to basically chart the path that I went through being a, a single father, being driven to, to generate, to create business, but going inward. to manifest the the, the, the marketing and the strategy and the, and the culture on their team, their leadership, and in their families, and most importantly for, for them own their own selves. So there you go. There it all, it is just in a, in a quick whirlwind. Uh, Wow. don't think I knew half of those things, even from our conversations at yeah. but we didn't have that long to chit chat in between sessions, so, Yeah. um, wow. Yeah, that's, that's a crazy awesome journey. And I was ha I had like little questions pop up throughout and now I'm trying to remember what some of them were but just like, congratulations and like, good job for finally like, looking inward Yeah. and finding, and that was one of my questions too, is like. How did you find your, like your purpose, you know, like what is that thing that, I'm sure it wasn't just like one, it wasn't just one session with your journal. Like it probably took years to really uncover like what you think you really should be doing and where your passion is and, purpose. But if you could give somebody a piece of advice on locating that, Yeah. maybe. Yeah. So, and, and I, I, I love this question 'cause I got so much to say on this, and yeah, I got out of a very toxic relationship. I had completely lost myself. I, I had lost my. My North Star, I was so upside down and in, in a lot. I mean, I, I take responsibility for putting myself in that, in that situation, not being healed, not being my, my true authentic self. Still struggling with guilt and shame and, you know, negative self-talk and really just not in a solid place. And I attracted someone who also was not in a solid place and, you know, so together we were just, and it just was not a good mix. Two great people, just not a good mix. And I just, I had lost my North Star to the point where I was really, I was, so, and I'll give you a quick story. So I, I'm, I live in Seattle and it was a dark, rainy Seattle night. I had just dropped off my sons to their mother and I just, I don't know, I, we had kind of this middle point meeting place and so I just kind of pulled over to this hotel and I literally just sat there and I didn't know what I was going to do. Meaning I was so, I had lost myself so much in this toxicity of this relationship in the, the, the businesses that I was trying to do and trying to create, and the now having three children and then running all different directions. I was, I sat there and I just remember the very first time going, someone, please come open my door right now and save me. I, I need someone to come save me. It was literally, it was in a flash. As soon as I said that, it just hit me and I thought, no one's coming. No one's literally gonna come save me. Even those that, that, you know, love me, I gotta do it. And, and it's, look, and Serena, I've studied personal development for decades. I've read the books, I've gone to the seminars. I've gone to the courses and hired the coaches, and it's, it's all wonderful content. Just none of it really clicked for me. Talk to me. And so, but in that moment I thought, I, I'm the only one that can save me. I gotta do this. And the competitor in me, the athlete in me said, alright, I got, that's a purpose. I'm gonna go focus on me. Let me figure this out. And so the more I went down that, you know, I'm in this dark place, but the more I went down this hole of how can I become the man capable of having. Successful business become the man capable of having a, a loving, intimate, sexual relationship with a, with a woman. How can I be man capable of, of leading my children in the way that I know the legacy I wanna leave with them. So thankfully, you know, I just, with my kids kind of part-time for little, yeah, about two and a half years, I just, I didn't date, I didn't do anything. I just locked in on every, you know, every night. Every morning I developed a morning routine. What do I need to do for me right now? How can I become the better version of myself? And that that's where purpose came for me. Purpose for me became and is to know myself truthfully. Get to know who I really am authentically.'cause I was a really good or Serena, like I go to networking events and I'd show up as the version that I thought people wanted me to be. So I'd put on the suit and tie and the cuff links, and I'd show up as if I got all my stuff together, Mm-hmm. I was scared. I needed clients, I needed partners, but I was too afraid to ask for that. So I said, no, I'm gonna show up authentically as me and I am, but I gotta know who that is. And then I gotta take ownership and responsibility for where I'm at in the present moment. So that became purpose for me. And the more I did that, the more what do you know? Like things started to shift outside of me as I shift, and I've heard that over and over again. I was just in my own way. I didn't know how to get out until I locked in on truth, ownership responsibility for me. And then things began to shift externally outside of me. Yeah, I think a lot of times. Because, yeah, we hear all of that. It's like you've gotta work on yourself before anything else will fall into place, and you don't really understand that until you see it happen. But it's really hard to get over that hump of like making that happen and just trusting it will all come in time. I think one of the things that a lot of people struggle with, and I don't know if it's. It probably goes for both men and women, but that fear, especially depending on how you were brought up that fear of focusing too much on yourself and becoming self-centered Hmm. Mm-hmm. versus, I'm really focusing on myself so that I can be a better version and I. And I know that it can be a fine line if you obsess over the personal development and obsess on, you know, making all these like routines and, and, and things versus, because like, you can get sucked into using that as. Your current addiction, you know, where it's like, well, I'm like just so into personal development and you just take it too far. And so I think some people might be a little bit afraid of that. So what words of wisdom do you have for someone that is kind of in that, like teetering on like, I wanna be a better person, but I don't wanna become self-centered. Like, where's the balance? Yeah, I, I, and I love that you brought this up 'cause this is really important and I, I believe that focusing on me is not selfish. It's in my best self interest. So I think if, if we reframe it from it's, it's my best interest to, to focus on me. It's the whole in the airplane, put the mask on you first before you put it on. Anyone else, like, I gotta make sure I'm solid. Because the old me would get up, rip, go to work, and just crush all day, come home, exhausted, tired, worn out, not present, worrying about the next thing. And so now what version of me are my kids getting? What version of me is my partner getting? It wasn't the version that they deserve and it wasn't the leader that I wanted to be in all these areas of my life. And so. What I believe is we can focus on ourselves from a place of power, not ego. Where I am, you know, we've all seen 'em. People, you know, I'm more holier than thou, or I'm more evolved in the universal laws than anyone else. It is not about that. It's about being grounded in I know who I am and I know how to set the right boundaries and I know how to communicate openly about, especially from, you know, women on the call are gonna be like, yeah, no, this is easy. But for us men to actually say like, this is what I'm feeling and being okay with that. Not worry about judgment. I'm worrying about what someone's gonna say back to us because I know myself. And what came up for me so often were triggers. I get triggered by my, my ex, and as in co-parenting, I get triggered by new people, women that I'm, I'm meeting. I, you know, I'm like, what the heck is going on? Realizing that it wasn't about them. It was about me. So I gotta figure out that part of me. I gotta heal that part of me because it's in my best interest to ensure that I'm not showing up as this. Version of myself that's not aligned with me. And I really feel that to lead our fam, I feel that we're cheating our partners. We're cheating our children, we're cheating our friends if we do not show up authentically as ourselves. And when doing so, we can give them exactly who we are. And I think that's the benefit to everybody. What about the person that is like, well, this is me and You get what you see because you, we all know those people, right? That they're like, well, this is who I am. You, what you see is what you get, and I'm not gonna change. So there's the flip side of that too, where it's like, how do you, I mean, do you even break through to those people or do you have to just make a decision and a boundary within yourself that you're, you know, everyone can get, become a better person like, and everyone is inherently good. I believe some people have just been through some**** that is kind of preventing them from. Breaking down that shell and myself included, you know, we've all, we've all got that side of ourselves that it's like, it's, it's gonna be really hard to change and you're gonna backslide, there, you know, it's not something that you have to do alone either. I. Absolutely not. No. You know, I've got, so, like right now I have some men that I'm working with who are divorced, they've, or separated, and they're starting this new life of, I'd like to go out and meet someone that I. You know, is someone who I want to be with called a cellmate, you know, whatever. And I, I tell 'em, I'm like, you need to go on a date with yourself first. Like, just take yourself out. Go grab a bite to eat, go to a concert, go to whatever. Like go do something that you wanna do for you. Like go take yourself out there and just see what comes up. And I feel like the people that have these guards up have not taken a. Taken time to just sit with themselves and just listen and feel and connect with them. And because what often happens is, you know, the insecurities are there, the fears are there, which we all got 'em. And, the ego is there to protect it and protect us. So I think that, you know, those that are, might be struggling with that. You know, awareness is the first step and our patterns are the things that we need to become aware of. So, you know, for someone who does have that feeling, that boundary can become aware. Like, okay, hold on a second. That feeling of wanting to like, I got this on my own, or I don't need anybody, or. That hardened part of them. Just becoming aware of it is the first step. I mean, that's the diffusion of the ego when we can just become aware of it. And because I see it all the time in business, especially in men, I see it so much that, and, and here's the thing, once you, once you get it for yourself, you start to see it like you can't unsee it. And I start to see it in people going, man, he's got his. His facade up and doesn't even, he's not even aware of it, and he's got this facade up and he's trying to play the tough guy because here's what they, here's what they'll do. They'll throw out, well, this is the degrees that I have and these are certifications and this is how much money I've made, and this is the Lamborghini I have, and this is how much I sold this company for. They just, they wanna go to the scoreboard of life Mm-hmm. here's my results, versus like, who are you outside of your results? Outside the scoreboard. We can't control. Tell me about you. That's where I want to get to. So I don't know if I even answered the question, but, you know, getting a alignment with the, being part of, of being a human being is, is important piece. as a. High achiever. I, I have, I definitely have that like masculine energy of the achieving the score. Not necessarily like the scoreboard type of thing. I'm not very competitive, but I am with myself really. and when you've led a life where you've just been going to for the next goal or the Hmm. achievement, sometimes it's really hard to. This is where it comes down to like go on a date with yourself, figure out what you want and what you like. It was really hard when I sat down and I was trying to figure out what do I want and what are my hobbies and what do I like to do outside of achievement, like outside of going to school, making good grades, going right into my career, rising up the ranks quicker than humanly possible. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. when you've led a life like that, It's funny, not funny, but you know, I've had this conversation with several people close to me. Now everybody gets to hear it. Addiction looks different for everybody, but sure. something up, like it may not be drugs, it may not be alcohol, but it could be achievement, it could be, you know, working. And that was, that was me. I, anytime I felt uncomfortable about what was going on in life, just go to work. Or I would just start working. So true. And so starting my own business was a huge exercise in undoing that and catching myself when I started defaulting to that. And sometimes I, I still come back to it and I'm like, okay, I can see myself over to the computer because I feel uncomfortable about something and trying to like, distract myself from work. So, Yeah, it's, it's a constant exercise I Let me, let me give you a, a, a breakdown. I'm gonna use this from a sports perspective because in this society, yes, the masculine energy is achieving accomplished, and based on those achieve achievements and accomplishments will determine our self-worth and. From a sports perspective, think about it. And I, I, you know, I've got three, not two, not so little anymore, but I got three kids and you know, as a parent, and I've got my guys in sports. And here's the thing. Let's say you have your child goes to a game that you don't make it. Maybe you're going to your other kids' festivities or games, or you're just at home and you didn't go to your child's. Game or race or whatever, when they come home from it and you didn't go, what's the first question you ask them when they walk in the door? Did you win? Did you win? Right? We go straight to the scoreboard or we say something covert like, how'd you do? Which we we're trying to get to the outcome, and so what we've done is, and parents who's listening, give yourself some grace. I've had to give myself some grace. What we're doing is we're conditioning our young people that what's most important is one thing they cannot control. Is that achieving and accomplishing? So you walk in the door, we go straight to and, and if they win, it's hugs and kisses and high fives and popsicles all around. If they lose, it's, oh, no hugs, no kisses. What happened? Did you not play very good? Did you know? Did you, did you make any mistakes? We go to that. So now we're conditioning our young people that my love is conditional. When you win, you get my love and you don't win. Same thing when they come with the, with the grapes. You got an a high fives popsicles, you're amazing. Oh, you got a C minus. What's wrong? You're not working hard enough. You didn't turn in your homework. You didn't. And so. Achieving and accomplishing is something that we have us We're, we're, we're trained very early on. And now what happens is, you know, Serena, you and I are in the summer, we're in the backyard having a barbecue, and you invite a neighbor over and your neighbor says, ah, the Jones is down the street. They're really successful. What are they referring to? Money. The, the sweet cars in the driveway, the house. And so here we go. It, it's carried into adulthood. That success. Is something outside of us monetarily, scoreboard related, and the scoreboard we cannot control. We can have the best intention. We're can put ourselves in the greatest position to generate the results we want, but we can control our customers and how much they're gonna pay and what the market is saying. And, but we can control our, there's I think, three things we can control. Our attitude, our effort, and our response. That's it. Everything else out of our control. So this, this high achieving, high accomplishing mentality that so many of us have, especially entrepreneurs, was ingrained in us very early on that our, your and I, you know, I still struggled with my mom with this because my mother is still in. Oh, great. How much money do you, are you making? How much? You know, she just goes straight to the scoreboard and. I say, Hey, lados more to me than just the money aspect mom. And, but we find that in our partners and that our self-worth is attached to the scoreboard. The problem is the scoreboard is not gonna give us happiness, joy, fulfillment, whole wholeness. It doesn't live there. Yeah. Yes, it makes us up as being human, but all the happiness, joy for fulfillment, all that lives in the being aspect of, you know, who, who we really deeply are. When we connect to that part of us, and here's the key, then you can actually experience and enjoy the things on the human plane, the outcomes, the vacations, the relationships the monitor, the material things. You actually enjoy 'em.'cause how many men that don't actually get to enjoy their nice car in their house and because they're just so locked in and achieving, accomplishing. So what it comes down to is, and I, this was the, in the next phase of my business, I said, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna create the lifestyle that I want, and then I'm gonna fit my business into it. Versus my old way was, I'm just gonna create this business. I'm gonna scale it, and then I'll make the money and figure out how to take care of my broken relationship and take care of the fact that I haven't worked out in three months. And Yeah. so lifestyle, battle though. it totally is. It's never gonna be enough, and you're never gonna make the time. So that's one thing I work on with, you know, the students I work with, people building their businesses is like, let's figure out what kind of life you actually want, how much time you want to be working, what do you wanna be doing with your time when you're not working, so that we can build the business around that. And it might happen slower than you want, but. you'll appreciate it.'cause you can't get, you can't get that time back with your kids and no one ever, I mean, this has been overused for sure, but like no one is ever on their deathbed wishing they worked more Mm. So true. Mm-hmm. I love that you take that approach. I, I, I think your students benefit greatly just from that foundation, that perspective to build a business. Yeah. Albeit a little bit slower, but intentional. I, I think is, is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I know before we hopped on and started recording, you were talking about a challenge that you're putting on right now. And by the time this airs, your challenge will be over, but there will be a new one scheduled, I'm sure. And if not, I'm sure you have a wait list or something, but give us a kind of a little breakdown of what you're doing these days and and then where people can connect with you if they wanna Yeah. No, yeah, definitely. I, I really believe in the, the, and where we're at, at least for me in my business is I, I got, I wanted to get outta the transactional game. Get into the transformational game and sure, yes, we could get together and I could, you know, show you how, you know, marketing and sales. And for me, I come from the team culture, what I call personal culture, which is investing itself first. We can set up your leadership team and all that. Yet it starts with, with you the individual. So. I run cohorts of prime. Traditionally men is, has been my demographic, who I attract, I attract people like me, the entrepreneur that oftentimes the single father. But you know, I'm, I'm open to all people that wanna be able to to grow in this way. But you know that, that that male single father entrepreneur who's like, I. The way I've done it is not working. I need something different. So I run in cohorts where, you know, I bring, we men like to run in packs and we work in teams and we get, it's important for us to see what other guys are doing and collaborate. So I run 'em in, in groups. So we, we do virtual and then we get together live. I. It's, it's a process going through five key areas that I feel that are most important to us in this, this given time. And it's mastering those five key areas. It's the master of focus, which is our, essentially our emotional intelligence, mastering our family and our relationships, our fitness, our health and our body, our fortune, our money, and our business. And then foundation, which is a connection to a source and a higher power. So those five key areas. Focus, family Fitness, fortune Foundation. We, we tap in each one of those and we, we tap into it from, from self first. So it's all about self-mastery. Self-mastery. It's not about knowledge, in my opinion, it's about action. I. So I hold these men accountable and just like an an old ball coach, it's just like, look, I'm here to get us to the championship. I'm here to help you get there. So we run in groups. I'm, I'm very it's very intimate, it's very accountable and getting guys to see actual change. So that's in the personal growth side. And then they, they have the opportunity to, to kind of grow with me. So then we got a whole program and an academy based on their business. We dive into the marketing, their sales, and their leadership to help them within their business. But what I'm doing is I've splintered off a challenge, and this was something that I, I can say with true confidence transformed my life. And in this version of me for two and a half years sitting in my, in my oftentimes quiet alone home, I had to figure out how to master my morning because I, again, would just get up and rip and. You know, the carnage at the end of the day of like, where am I, I haven't worked out, I haven't connected with my kids. So I actually, and I, I just ran the challenge earlier, so I actually have my cheat sheet right here. But what my attendees do is they, this is a weekly cheat sheet here, and they have within each five of those categories, they have two things to do. So there's 10 tasks to do every morning for ourselves. Something that, that someone can wake up and do for themselves before they try to produce, perform, and provide for everybody else. So we lock in on me and it's every, it's things from writing in a gratitude journal. You know, something like this, uh, where, you know what I'm grateful for, just quick affirmations. This, you know, a meditation a quick journal, fueling our bodies, doing a quick little movement of the body, whether it's a walk outside or a full gym workout or anything in between. And, and then connecting with loved ones, whether it's a text message or a little note on the mirror or a little card by the bedside, or texting my kid at college, you know, things like that. What can I do for me that allows me to show up as, as the, the, the man that I know I am, I wanna become.

Before 9:

00 AM or whatever, that's arbitrary number. But whatever time before they start their day, I'm gonna do all this for me so that at the end of the day I don't show up after work going, I haven't worked out, I haven't done any reading for myself. I haven't, now I'm present. I took care of me. I can lock in on the kids, I can be there for them or for my partner, whatever it may be. So my, it was a five day challenge about mastering your morning, and we go through each one of those components. So they can develop the freedom, and self-mastery to become the man capable of having success in all areas of life. Oh, I love that. Man, challenge. let's do it. Oh, that's awesome. so where do people go to connect with you and learn about the next time you're holding this challenge or any of the other ways that they can work with you? I. Yeah, definitely. So we're, we're obviously in the flow of it right now, but we'll, we'll have, if you simply just go to my website, it's cletus coffee.com and coffee is C-O-F-F-E-Y. Cletus coffee.com. It's got links. You can actually just download the cheat sheet yourself. I have a video tutorial that can take you through it or you can join us live in the challenge where I'm gonna hold you accountable to getting it done. The challenge is on there where you can register for. Our next one is on there, so cletus coffee.com. Uh, and all my stuff is on there for my Be The Torch podcast to, um, way to get in part of my ecosystem. Awesome. And I will link all of that in the show notes. Thank you so Yeah. for sharing your journey with us and I know there's gonna be a few people listening that really vibe with what you have to say and they will be so grateful that they finally found a guy that can relate to them. So thank you again so much. I really appreciate your time. Well, thank you for the platform and to connect with your community. So grateful I. We'll talk to you soon.

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