{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":0.18,"endTime":2.73,"body":"Okay, today's"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":0.18,"endTime":2.73,"body":"episode is one Hell of a Ride."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2.79,"endTime":8.4,"body":"I am joined by Jeff Hudson, a six"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2.79,"endTime":8.4,"body":"time Emmy nominated TV producer,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":8.79,"endTime":12.09,"body":"who's spent decades helping"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":8.79,"endTime":12.09,"body":"other people tell their stories."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":12.54,"endTime":18.39,"body":"But this time the story is"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":12.54,"endTime":18.39,"body":"his, uh, Jeff's new memoir."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":18.75,"endTime":19.47,"body":"Oh, here it is."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":20.52,"endTime":21.78,"body":"Deconstructing us."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":22.11,"endTime":23.52,"body":"It's probably backward, but that's okay."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":23.94,"endTime":26.605,"body":"Uh, my trouble with a throuple."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":27.63,"endTime":32.1,"body":"Uh, this story dives into the"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":27.63,"endTime":32.1,"body":"real, like raw, messy, beautiful"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":32.1,"endTime":37.379,"body":"complexity of falling into and"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":32.1,"endTime":37.379,"body":"out of a triad relationship."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":37.8,"endTime":41.879,"body":"So we talk about the myths of"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":37.8,"endTime":41.879,"body":"non-monogamy, why throuple are"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":41.879,"endTime":45.84,"body":"emotional rocket fuel, and what"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":41.879,"endTime":45.84,"body":"happens when love stretches you"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":45.9,"endTime":48.3,"body":"beyond who you thought you were."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":49.29,"endTime":52.56,"body":"Uh, so this isn't just a story about"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":49.29,"endTime":52.56,"body":"relationships, it's a story about."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":52.935,"endTime":53.985,"body":"Humanity, really."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":54.255,"endTime":59.625,"body":"Uh, some heartbreak, some healing, uh, and"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":54.255,"endTime":59.625,"body":"some real talk about jealousy and identity"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":59.625,"endTime":62.025,"body":"and why sometimes three is a crowd"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":64.065,"endTime":64.545,"body":"enjoy."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":65.895,"endTime":69.735,"body":"So first, welcome to know"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":65.895,"endTime":69.735,"body":"if we're not monogamous."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":69.74,"endTime":70.875,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":70.875,"endTime":71.565,"body":"Thank you for having me."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":73.035,"endTime":74.145,"body":"Of course, of course."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":74.145,"endTime":76.065,"body":"I'm, I am really happy that you're here."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":76.425,"endTime":77.745,"body":"Um, I started reading your book."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":77.745,"endTime":79.965,"body":"I haven't finished it yet"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":77.745,"endTime":79.965,"body":"though, but I'm really loving it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":79.965,"endTime":82.245,"body":"I like your, uh, style."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":82.59,"endTime":84.15,"body":"I like your storytelling style."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":85.35,"endTime":90.66,"body":"I, you know, I very much"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":85.35,"endTime":90.66,"body":"just sort of tell everything from my heart"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":91.41,"endTime":98.13,"body":"and sometimes that actually gets me into"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":91.41,"endTime":98.13,"body":"a lot of trouble and it has in my life."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":99.21,"endTime":103.35,"body":"Um-huh Uh, I feel like"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":99.21,"endTime":103.35,"body":"honesty is the best policy."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":103.35,"endTime":104.88,"body":"So that's where I went with this book."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":107.1,"endTime":107.101,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":107.55,"endTime":107.94,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":108.119,"endTime":109.35,"body":"It really is."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":110.49,"endTime":111.78,"body":"I mean, in all the things, right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":111.78,"endTime":111.839,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":113.64,"endTime":114.03,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":114.27,"endTime":114.78,"body":"Amazing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":115.199,"endTime":115.8,"body":"Amazing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":115.83,"endTime":116.25,"body":"Cool."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":116.55,"endTime":121.259,"body":"Well, um, I would you"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":116.55,"endTime":121.259,"body":"just like real brief Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":121.259,"endTime":126.81,"body":"Just for the listeners, let 'em know, um,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":121.259,"endTime":126.81,"body":"let kind who you are, what you do, what's"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":126.81,"endTime":129.6,"body":"your, what's your what, what's your story?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":129.6,"endTime":129.9,"body":"Sure."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":130.5,"endTime":132.84,"body":"Um, my name is Jeff and I."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":134.715,"endTime":139.485,"body":"Was a television producer"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":134.715,"endTime":139.485,"body":"for about 25 years."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":139.995,"endTime":145.845,"body":"Um, I started way back in the day"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":139.995,"endTime":145.845,"body":"at the old talk shows, Sally, Jesse,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":145.845,"endTime":150.885,"body":"Raphael, Montel Williams, Ricky"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":145.845,"endTime":150.885,"body":"Lake, the original Ricky Lake."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":151.62,"endTime":153.27,"body":"And then I kind of"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":151.62,"endTime":153.27,"body":"moved out to California."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":153.27,"endTime":155.52,"body":"I started doing a lot of dating shows."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":155.52,"endTime":158.31,"body":"I don't know if you remember the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":155.52,"endTime":158.31,"body":"show Eliminate Where like one guy"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":158.61,"endTime":163.47,"body":"went on a date with four women or"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":158.61,"endTime":163.47,"body":"vice versa and then eliminated him"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":163.47,"endTime":165.36,"body":"throughout the date until one was left."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":166.08,"endTime":167.46,"body":"I did some design shows."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":167.46,"endTime":171.48,"body":"My big claim to fame was a show called"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":167.46,"endTime":171.48,"body":"The Doctors, which was a medical talk"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":171.48,"endTime":174.45,"body":"show, uh, with four doctors on the panel."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":174.81,"endTime":175.89,"body":"I actually got an Emmy for that."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":175.89,"endTime":176.64,"body":"I'm very proud of."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":177.03,"endTime":184.709,"body":"And now I am predominantly spending"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":177.03,"endTime":184.709,"body":"my time writing, uh, which I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":184.799,"endTime":187.709,"body":"obviously got my first book out"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":184.799,"endTime":187.709,"body":"and I'm working on my second book."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":187.709,"endTime":193.26,"body":"My partner is very excited that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":187.709,"endTime":193.26,"body":"it's, my second book is, uh, fiction."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":193.769,"endTime":195.929,"body":"Um, and it's horror."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":195.959,"endTime":196.89,"body":"It's a horror book."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":196.95,"endTime":198.989,"body":"'cause that's really where I love horror."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":198.989,"endTime":200.73,"body":"Like I'm obsessed with horror."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":200.79,"endTime":200.88,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":201.39,"endTime":204.48,"body":"Uh, and I also work at a"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":201.39,"endTime":204.48,"body":"resort here in Palm Springs."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":204.48,"endTime":206.07,"body":"I live in Palm Springs, California."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":207.12,"endTime":210.645,"body":"I'm kind of living the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":207.12,"endTime":210.645,"body":"midlife life right now."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":212.565,"endTime":213.315,"body":"That's amazing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":213.435,"endTime":216.675,"body":"I went to Palm Springs a couple"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":213.435,"endTime":216.675,"body":"of years ago for a retreat and"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":216.675,"endTime":218.145,"body":"I like fell in love with it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":218.145,"endTime":219.375,"body":"It was so fricking nice."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":219.375,"endTime":219.735,"body":"It is"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":219.735,"endTime":221.385,"body":"so brilliant here."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":221.625,"endTime":226.965,"body":"I will say that I've been, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":221.625,"endTime":226.965,"body":"I've been out here since 2004, back"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":226.965,"endTime":234.195,"body":"and forth between LA and here, and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":226.965,"endTime":234.195,"body":"every time my friends come from la."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":235.185,"endTime":240.375,"body":"They enter the Palm Springs zone,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":235.185,"endTime":240.375,"body":"they all immediately just zen out."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":240.375,"endTime":243.465,"body":"There's something that trigger, I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":240.375,"endTime":243.465,"body":"don't know if it's the big mountain"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":243.465,"endTime":247.245,"body":"or whatever the case may be, but I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":243.465,"endTime":247.245,"body":"could have like the most stress case"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":247.245,"endTime":251.985,"body":"friends and as soon as they come"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":247.245,"endTime":251.985,"body":"into town it's like it's all good."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":252.315,"endTime":254.715,"body":"And that's the only time I wanna"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":252.315,"endTime":254.715,"body":"see them now is in Palm Springs."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":254.715,"endTime":256.065,"body":"I don't wanna see them in LA anymore."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":256.065,"endTime":257.295,"body":"I'm not going back to LA anymore."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":257.805,"endTime":258.945,"body":"This is too stressful."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":259.095,"endTime":260.774,"body":"That damn 4 0 5, fuck that."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":261.285,"endTime":261.975,"body":"No way."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":263.405,"endTime":263.695,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":263.925,"endTime":264.215,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":264.22,"endTime":264.33,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":264.45,"endTime":264.75,"body":"Good."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":265.26,"endTime":267.6,"body":"Yeah, it was, I like, when"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":265.26,"endTime":267.6,"body":"I was there, I was so happy."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":267.6,"endTime":271.59,"body":"I was like, God, this is just,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":267.6,"endTime":271.59,"body":"uh, like, it just felt so good."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":271.595,"endTime":271.885,"body":"It's a good"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":271.885,"endTime":272.005,"body":"place."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":272.005,"endTime":273.09,"body":"And it's very sexual too."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":273.09,"endTime":274.29,"body":"It's a very sexual town."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":275.58,"endTime":276.21,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":276.45,"endTime":276.9,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":279.75,"endTime":280.23,"body":"We, we"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":280.23,"endTime":281.04,"body":"do like that."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":282.63,"endTime":282.87,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":284.22,"endTime":284.73,"body":"Amazing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":284.73,"endTime":287.73,"body":"Okay, let's, let's, um, let's"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":284.73,"endTime":287.73,"body":"start with something simple."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":288.03,"endTime":291.0,"body":"Uh, what, what is non-monogamy?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":291.735,"endTime":292.155,"body":"Mean to you?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":292.155,"endTime":293.385,"body":"Or what does it look like for you?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":294.285,"endTime":299.865,"body":"For me, it's, it's two"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":294.285,"endTime":299.865,"body":"people who are in a relationship"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":299.865,"endTime":306.285,"body":"that have agreed to open up the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":299.865,"endTime":306.285,"body":"gates and allow each other to have"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":306.285,"endTime":308.685,"body":"sexual relations with other people."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":309.195,"endTime":313.725,"body":"Uh, and that comes in many forms, and it"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":309.195,"endTime":313.725,"body":"comes in many forms for different people."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":314.265,"endTime":315.465,"body":"For some people it could be."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":316.17,"endTime":319.77,"body":"Oh, you could kiss other people,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":316.17,"endTime":319.77,"body":"you could cuddle with other people."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":319.77,"endTime":325.08,"body":"For some people it could be, uh, foreplay,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":319.77,"endTime":325.08,"body":"it could be oral sex or whatever."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":325.53,"endTime":327.3,"body":"And then it could be intercourse."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":327.66,"endTime":332.19,"body":"For some people, it could be like, oh, we"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":327.66,"endTime":332.19,"body":"could only do it if we're with each other."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":333.0,"endTime":335.76,"body":"And for others it could"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":333.0,"endTime":335.76,"body":"be don't ask, don't tell."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":336.18,"endTime":342.72,"body":"There's very many degrees of open"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":336.18,"endTime":342.72,"body":"relationships and, and polyamory, and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":342.72,"endTime":345.36,"body":"I've been through almost all the stages."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":345.36,"endTime":351.63,"body":"I. I think going into my throuple"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":345.36,"endTime":351.63,"body":"kind of elevated it to a whole new"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":351.63,"endTime":354.3,"body":"level that I was not prepared for."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":357.045,"endTime":357.465,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":357.55,"endTime":365.82,"body":"Because with that comes that, I think"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":357.55,"endTime":365.82,"body":"it comes with a set of emotional"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":365.82,"endTime":372.06,"body":"stuff, you know, it's, it's, for me,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":365.82,"endTime":372.06,"body":"polyamory and open relationship has,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":372.33,"endTime":374.37,"body":"and non-monogamy has always been."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":375.33,"endTime":376.68,"body":"I'm gonna go fuck this guy."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":376.95,"endTime":379.44,"body":"I'm gonna go have sex with this"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":376.95,"endTime":379.44,"body":"person and I come home to my"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":379.44,"endTime":381.87,"body":"pers my, my person, you know?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":382.41,"endTime":383.28,"body":"And that was okay."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":383.97,"endTime":392.1,"body":"Uh, getting involved in a throuple, you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":383.97,"endTime":392.1,"body":"allow the person sort of a co equality"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":392.16,"endTime":397.2,"body":"in the relationship where feelings are"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":392.16,"endTime":397.2,"body":"now involved, decisions are now involved,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":397.71,"endTime":403.875,"body":"choices are now involved, and that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":397.71,"endTime":403.875,"body":"I wasn't so sure I was ready for it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":404.385,"endTime":407.234,"body":"Even though I actually truly"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":404.385,"endTime":407.234,"body":"believed at the end of the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":407.234,"endTime":409.965,"body":"day that I was ready for it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":411.435,"endTime":411.554,"body":"Uhhuh."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":412.065,"endTime":413.715,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":413.715,"endTime":413.719,"body":"Uhhuh Uhhuh."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":413.83,"endTime":414.12,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":414.825,"endTime":419.924,"body":"I feel like that's, that's most"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":414.825,"endTime":419.924,"body":"people who have an established"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":420.284,"endTime":425.174,"body":"relationship, like an established"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":420.284,"endTime":425.174,"body":"couple, think have this idea that a"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":425.174,"endTime":427.34,"body":"third person is the easiest way to go."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":427.409,"endTime":427.7,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":429.285,"endTime":433.455,"body":"When really it's like the hardest as,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":429.285,"endTime":433.455,"body":"as a parent of three children, I know"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":433.455,"endTime":437.025,"body":"that anytime you have uneven numbers,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":433.455,"endTime":437.025,"body":"somebody's always feeling left out."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":437.655,"endTime":438.165,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":438.555,"endTime":445.395,"body":"You know, I didn't realize it until"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":438.555,"endTime":445.395,"body":"it was actually happening, but you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":445.395,"endTime":449.691,"body":"go from a, a two person relationship,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":445.395,"endTime":449.691,"body":"just me and my per my person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":450.615,"endTime":455.175,"body":"And then when you actually"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":450.615,"endTime":455.175,"body":"declare the throuple, you have"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":456.105,"endTime":457.545,"body":"four relationships going in."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":458.609,"endTime":461.34,"body":"There's the relationship"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":458.609,"endTime":461.34,"body":"between me and my my person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":461.669,"endTime":464.76,"body":"There's the relationship"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":461.669,"endTime":464.76,"body":"between me and the new person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":465.06,"endTime":468.63,"body":"There's the relationship between the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":465.06,"endTime":468.63,"body":"new person and my partner, and then"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":468.63,"endTime":472.14,"body":"there's the relationship between"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":468.63,"endTime":472.14,"body":"all four of us, three of us, right?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":472.349,"endTime":477.09,"body":"There's four relationships going"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":472.349,"endTime":477.09,"body":"on, and that is mind boggling that,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":477.299,"endTime":484.109,"body":"that to me was, I don't know how"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":477.299,"endTime":484.109,"body":"the third person managed it all."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":484.92,"endTime":489.21,"body":"Because he actually had the most"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":484.92,"endTime":489.21,"body":"work to do, if you think about it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":489.45,"endTime":489.66,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":489.66,"endTime":495.48,"body":"You know, and I call him the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":489.66,"endTime":495.48,"body":"magician in my book, the Master Magician."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":497.305,"endTime":497.725,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":498.265,"endTime":498.685,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":498.825,"endTime":499.245,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":499.325,"endTime":499.605,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":500.28,"endTime":500.79,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":501.15,"endTime":501.57,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":501.84,"endTime":504.06,"body":"That's, that's so much"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":505.44,"endTime":506.07,"body":"For sure."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":506.19,"endTime":507.09,"body":"It's so much."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":507.84,"endTime":508.35,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":508.53,"endTime":508.86,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":509.1,"endTime":511.71,"body":"What was the, what was"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":509.1,"endTime":511.71,"body":"the most surprising."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":512.505,"endTime":514.725,"body":"Like, like that couldn't have been"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":512.505,"endTime":514.725,"body":"the most surprising thing for you?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":514.725,"endTime":516.165,"body":"Just how, how many relationships"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":516.165,"endTime":516.375,"body":"it was?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":516.38,"endTime":517.04,"body":"No, no, no,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":519.345,"endTime":519.346,"body":"no."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":520.065,"endTime":524.055,"body":"Uh, surprising what, what,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":520.065,"endTime":524.055,"body":"what, what's your question?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":525.585,"endTime":529.845,"body":"What wa what was"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":525.585,"endTime":529.845,"body":"the most surprising thing"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":529.845,"endTime":531.135,"body":"that you learned about that?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":531.135,"endTime":532.875,"body":"Like, what did you not expect?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":533.805,"endTime":540.495,"body":"Well, first off, I will"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":533.805,"endTime":540.495,"body":"tell you that I have never in my life."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":541.23,"endTime":552.24,"body":"Not even with my former guy of 22"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":541.23,"endTime":552.24,"body":"years, I was swept by this third person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":553.11,"endTime":560.55,"body":"I have never fallen so quickly, so"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":553.11,"endTime":560.55,"body":"hard for anybody as I did this third"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":560.55,"endTime":564.12,"body":"person, and even though like my."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":564.705,"endTime":568.785,"body":"Guy of 22 years, I, I fell pretty"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":564.705,"endTime":568.785,"body":"quickly, but like, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":568.785,"endTime":575.145,"body":"what it was that this guy had"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":568.785,"endTime":575.145,"body":"over me, but I was immediately"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":575.535,"endTime":577.335,"body":"entranced by everything about him."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":577.965,"endTime":585.105,"body":"So I was in living in this bubble"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":577.965,"endTime":585.105,"body":"of, oh my God, this is amazing."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":585.105,"endTime":585.675,"body":"This is amazing."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":585.675,"endTime":586.785,"body":"This is amazing."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":587.445,"endTime":591.555,"body":"And then I actually met this guy first,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":587.445,"endTime":591.555,"body":"and then I introduced him to my partner."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":592.694,"endTime":601.635,"body":"I, my partner and I never actually had"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":592.694,"endTime":601.635,"body":"threesomes together off, so we never"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":602.145,"endTime":604.155,"body":"agreed upon who he wanted to be with."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":604.425,"endTime":611.444,"body":"This guy was very much my type,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":604.425,"endTime":611.444,"body":"but he had a very soft demeanor."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":611.865,"endTime":614.625,"body":"He had a very pretty demeanor about 'em."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":614.895,"endTime":615.944,"body":"So I was like, you know what?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":616.005,"endTime":617.265,"body":"I think that they're gonna get along."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":617.595,"endTime":619.605,"body":"And sure enough they"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":617.595,"endTime":619.605,"body":"got, they got along well."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":620.1,"endTime":624.42,"body":"And they immediately hit it"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":620.1,"endTime":624.42,"body":"off, which is what I expected."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":624.42,"endTime":633.21,"body":"So it all happened really fast and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":624.42,"endTime":633.21,"body":"he, what surprised me is that my"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":633.21,"endTime":636.27,"body":"partner fell as quickly as I did."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":637.59,"endTime":643.86,"body":"And yeah, we, within"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":637.59,"endTime":643.86,"body":"weeks of meeting this guy."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":644.745,"endTime":646.905,"body":"Who was from the middle"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":644.745,"endTime":646.905,"body":"of nowhere, Canada."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":647.084,"endTime":648.704,"body":"We were in Southern California."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":648.704,"endTime":656.714,"body":"We meet in Mexico, we open the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":648.704,"endTime":656.714,"body":"gates and we just let this guy in."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":657.074,"endTime":662.025,"body":"And I never in a million years ever"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":657.074,"endTime":662.025,"body":"thought that I would do it, but it felt"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":662.925,"endTime":670.245,"body":"extremely good and right at the beginning,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":662.925,"endTime":670.245,"body":"so all I could do was go with it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":673.125,"endTime":673.515,"body":"Wow."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":674.85,"endTime":675.21,"body":"Who?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":676.32,"endTime":676.89,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":678.12,"endTime":678.66,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":679.17,"endTime":683.16,"body":"Um, and, and all those good"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":679.17,"endTime":683.16,"body":"feelings you had in the beginning."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":683.28,"endTime":687.42,"body":"Did they, um, did you feel"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":683.28,"endTime":687.42,"body":"good about following those?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":688.08,"endTime":689.13,"body":"I did in the beginning."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":689.28,"endTime":690.09,"body":"Um,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":692.28,"endTime":697.41,"body":"I, I should, and I talk about this in"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":692.28,"endTime":697.41,"body":"the book as well, I should have listened."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":697.68,"endTime":703.83,"body":"I, I'm a firm believer in listening"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":697.68,"endTime":703.83,"body":"to your body's inner whisper."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":704.505,"endTime":709.005,"body":"Um, and I generally do, but"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":704.505,"endTime":709.005,"body":"for some reason I didn't"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":709.035,"endTime":710.655,"body":"do it in this circumstance."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":710.714,"endTime":714.525,"body":"Like there were signs and things happening"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":710.714,"endTime":714.525,"body":"that I should have been, I should have"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":714.525,"endTime":719.714,"body":"said to myself, uh, I need to put, I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":714.525,"endTime":719.714,"body":"need to think about this for a second."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":720.464,"endTime":725.954,"body":"Right at the, right, at the beginning"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":720.464,"endTime":725.954,"body":"of our throuple, uh, especially when,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":726.525,"endTime":731.745,"body":"uh, his name, I'll call him Lucas 'cause"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":726.525,"endTime":731.745,"body":"that's what I call him in the book, he."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":732.81,"endTime":742.08,"body":"Incessantly was FaceTiming us, texting us,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":732.81,"endTime":742.08,"body":"communicating with us electronically to"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":742.08,"endTime":745.89,"body":"an extent that I have never done before."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":746.01,"endTime":749.73,"body":"I don't even, I'm, I'm not, I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":746.01,"endTime":749.73,"body":"don't like talking on the phone."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":749.82,"endTime":750.78,"body":"I don't like texting."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":750.84,"endTime":751.53,"body":"It's not me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":752.22,"endTime":756.0,"body":"But every time that WhatsApp"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":752.22,"endTime":756.0,"body":"ping happened, or every time"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":756.0,"endTime":760.59,"body":"I heard like his name being"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":756.0,"endTime":760.59,"body":"announced, I, my body just like."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":761.4,"endTime":763.17,"body":"I got the tingles, you know?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":763.709,"endTime":763.8,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":764.04,"endTime":770.61,"body":"But it was so obsessive that I look"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":764.04,"endTime":770.61,"body":"back at a noun and I think that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":771.0,"endTime":775.62,"body":"it was definitely something that I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":771.0,"endTime":775.62,"body":"should have paid more attention to."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":776.175,"endTime":776.395,"body":"It."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":776.4,"endTime":782.67,"body":"It wasn't, nor, I don't think it was"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":776.4,"endTime":782.67,"body":"normal, uh, the amount of time that we"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":782.67,"endTime":788.13,"body":"were all communicating on, on the phone,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":782.67,"endTime":788.13,"body":"it just, it didn't, it, as I look back"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":788.13,"endTime":789.689,"body":"at it now, it just doesn't feel right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":789.689,"endTime":801.135,"body":"I. Um, and then as we progressed,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":789.689,"endTime":801.135,"body":"I started to notice that there"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":801.135,"endTime":806.325,"body":"were things sort of occurring"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":801.135,"endTime":806.325,"body":"between the two of them, uh, that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":806.325,"endTime":808.665,"body":"I was watching from the sidelines."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":808.905,"endTime":810.975,"body":"I, I could see the way they"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":808.905,"endTime":810.975,"body":"were holding each other."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":810.975,"endTime":813.015,"body":"I could see the way they"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":810.975,"endTime":813.015,"body":"were looking at each other."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":813.615,"endTime":818.325,"body":"I often spent, uh, the nights"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":813.615,"endTime":818.325,"body":"in the adjacent bedroom because."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":818.655,"endTime":821.535,"body":"There were three of us, there"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":818.655,"endTime":821.535,"body":"were three golden retrievers,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":821.895,"endTime":823.755,"body":"too many bodies in the bed."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":824.835,"endTime":826.605,"body":"And I was the one that left."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":826.845,"endTime":831.855,"body":"And I started to realize that okay, nobody"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":826.845,"endTime":831.855,"body":"really cares that I'm in the other room."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":832.665,"endTime":840.855,"body":"Uh, and but at that point, by the time"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":832.665,"endTime":840.855,"body":"I got to that point, I also realized"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":840.855,"endTime":845.595,"body":"that my partner had very much fallen"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":840.855,"endTime":845.595,"body":"in love with this guy as much as I did."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":845.895,"endTime":846.345,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":846.855,"endTime":847.185,"body":"So."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":849.24,"endTime":853.23,"body":"There was a part of me that wanted"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":849.24,"endTime":853.23,"body":"to call quits, but then there was"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":853.23,"endTime":857.55,"body":"the other side of me that said,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":853.23,"endTime":857.55,"body":"okay, I could lose my partner."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":857.97,"endTime":865.05,"body":"He could just go be with this guy and, and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":857.97,"endTime":865.05,"body":"leave me if I, if I really pushed this."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":865.29,"endTime":869.19,"body":"So I was kind of really caught"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":865.29,"endTime":869.19,"body":"in a catch 22 situation."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":870.99,"endTime":872.19,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":872.64,"endTime":872.88,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":872.88,"endTime":876.06,"body":"I feel like that's a super, super common."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":877.065,"endTime":878.265,"body":"Concern that happens."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":878.325,"endTime":878.655,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":878.715,"endTime":881.055,"body":"When people are like,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":878.715,"endTime":881.055,"body":"Ooh, there's something about this"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":881.055,"endTime":882.585,"body":"relationship that isn't working for me."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":882.585,"endTime":886.815,"body":"But if I call it, I could lose"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":882.585,"endTime":886.815,"body":"the up parts that I do want."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":886.995,"endTime":887.415,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":888.675,"endTime":890.415,"body":"And then people just keep going."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":890.565,"endTime":890.925,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":891.525,"endTime":892.095,"body":"Until,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":894.135,"endTime":895.155,"body":"listen, until the next step."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":895.155,"endTime":895.185,"body":"I,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":896.445,"endTime":896.685,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":896.685,"endTime":897.165,"body":"Totally."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":897.165,"endTime":897.585,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":897.645,"endTime":899.055,"body":"I am, I'm a, yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":899.055,"endTime":902.295,"body":"I'm a firm believer in non-monogamy."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":902.81,"endTime":906.975,"body":"I, I think that, um, I. Most people."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":908.355,"endTime":912.255,"body":"Truly, I think most people will do it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":912.525,"endTime":919.035,"body":"I think most people wanna do it, or"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":912.525,"endTime":919.035,"body":"most people are lying about it, period."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":919.965,"endTime":922.215,"body":"And when they're lying about it,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":919.965,"endTime":922.215,"body":"they're probably just cheated."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":922.905,"endTime":929.475,"body":"So it's, it's why are we not"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":922.905,"endTime":929.475,"body":"opening up this conversation and."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":931.079,"endTime":934.439,"body":"Making people feel comfortable with"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":931.079,"endTime":934.439,"body":"talking to their spouses or their"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":934.439,"endTime":938.459,"body":"boyfriends or their girlfriends and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":934.439,"endTime":938.459,"body":"saying, this is what I'm interested in."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":938.459,"endTime":939.24,"body":"This is what I want."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":939.42,"endTime":942.75,"body":"Instead of, Hey, I'm, or"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":939.42,"endTime":942.75,"body":"going out and cheating."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":942.75,"endTime":944.819,"body":"Like, what's the point of cheating?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":944.819,"endTime":945.93,"body":"I don't get it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":945.959,"endTime":947.219,"body":"I don't understand it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":947.67,"endTime":952.26,"body":"Just talk to your partner and listen,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":947.67,"endTime":952.26,"body":"even if your partner's not into it,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":952.26,"endTime":956.31,"body":"when you first have that conversation,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":952.26,"endTime":956.31,"body":"you have now opened the door and I can"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":956.31,"endTime":959.49,"body":"guarantee you, or, or I'm pretty sure."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":959.895,"endTime":961.395,"body":"That it's on their mind as well."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":961.694,"endTime":962.055,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":962.145,"endTime":966.525,"body":"And as soon as you open that conversation"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":962.145,"endTime":966.525,"body":"up, even if that partner says, no, I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":966.525,"endTime":970.725,"body":"don't wanna do it, I guarantee you in"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":966.525,"endTime":970.725,"body":"a year or two years down the road they"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":970.725,"endTime":973.964,"body":"might say, Hey, remember that conver,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":970.725,"endTime":973.964,"body":"remember when you asked me that question?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":974.265,"endTime":976.635,"body":"I've been thinking about about it, right?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":977.055,"endTime":979.78,"body":"We're human beings,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":977.055,"endTime":979.78,"body":"we're sexual creatures."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":979.964,"endTime":981.675,"body":"It's like it's part of, yep."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":981.915,"endTime":983.385,"body":"It's part of who we are."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":984.285,"endTime":987.795,"body":"I don't believe in, um."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":988.17,"endTime":990.48,"body":"Sex with the same person"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":988.17,"endTime":990.48,"body":"for the rest of my life."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":990.84,"endTime":993.48,"body":"A, I don't want to do that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":990.84,"endTime":993.48,"body":"for the rest of my life."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":993.57,"endTime":999.78,"body":"And b, I just think not only does"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":993.57,"endTime":999.78,"body":"it actually hurt you as a person,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1000.05,"endTime":1001.46,"body":"I think it hurts your relationship."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1001.85,"endTime":1010.34,"body":"I think being open and being, uh, poly"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1001.85,"endTime":1010.34,"body":"or, or being non-monogamous actually helps"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1010.4,"endTime":1012.295,"body":"your current relationship that you're in."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1013.52,"endTime":1018.41,"body":"Things about the person that you're"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1013.52,"endTime":1018.41,"body":"dating or married to or whatever"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1018.71,"endTime":1023.36,"body":"that maybe you wouldn't have known"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1018.71,"endTime":1023.36,"body":"just from sex with each other."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1023.51,"endTime":1027.26,"body":"They might come back and tell your story"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1023.51,"endTime":1027.26,"body":"and they might say, Hey, when I met"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1027.26,"endTime":1030.35,"body":"with this person, this is what happened"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1027.26,"endTime":1030.35,"body":"and I actually really enjoyed it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1030.35,"endTime":1034.52,"body":"And maybe that was something that you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1030.35,"endTime":1034.52,"body":"were uncomfortable with talking with"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1034.52,"endTime":1039.92,"body":"your partner, but when you know you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1034.52,"endTime":1039.92,"body":"open the gate to the third person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1040.31,"endTime":1042.77,"body":"It sort of allows a"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1045.02,"endTime":1048.38,"body":"more things to happen"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1045.02,"endTime":1048.38,"body":"and I think it's amazing."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1048.38,"endTime":1049.76,"body":"I think it's just an amazing thing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1051.53,"endTime":1052.07,"body":"I agree."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1052.28,"endTime":1053.3,"body":"I, yeah, I agree."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1053.6,"endTime":1057.77,"body":"There's something one, one thing is, you"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1053.6,"endTime":1057.77,"body":"know, just in long-term relationships, we"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1057.77,"endTime":1060.62,"body":"kind of get into these patterns of like, I"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1057.77,"endTime":1060.62,"body":"already know what my partner's gonna say."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1060.62,"endTime":1062.57,"body":"I'm not even talk about things"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1060.62,"endTime":1062.57,"body":"'cause I know how they feel."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1062.57,"endTime":1063.41,"body":"Yeah, right."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1063.41,"endTime":1067.04,"body":"And then when you have something"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1063.41,"endTime":1067.04,"body":"new where you're learning about them"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1067.04,"endTime":1068.93,"body":"and they're learning about you, you."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1069.334,"endTime":1072.395,"body":"Show different parts of yourself"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1069.334,"endTime":1072.395,"body":"and you expose different parts of"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1072.395,"endTime":1075.935,"body":"yourself, whether not even just"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1072.395,"endTime":1075.935,"body":"to that newer person, but to, to"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1075.935,"endTime":1077.435,"body":"your existing partners as well."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1077.885,"endTime":1082.205,"body":"And then you get to like, have"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1077.885,"endTime":1082.205,"body":"experiences that you get to bring home."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1082.294,"endTime":1082.445,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1082.985,"endTime":1084.274,"body":"Do things in new ways."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1084.365,"endTime":1084.814,"body":"Exactly."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1084.814,"endTime":1085.415,"body":"Be novel,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1085.804,"endTime":1086.284,"body":"Ryan."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1086.915,"endTime":1088.865,"body":"Like why would, why"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1086.915,"endTime":1088.865,"body":"wouldn't you wanna do that?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1090.004,"endTime":1095.375,"body":"I think, yeah, I think that, like"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1090.004,"endTime":1095.375,"body":"I said, I think most people, what"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1095.375,"endTime":1098.885,"body":"I have found really interesting"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1095.375,"endTime":1098.885,"body":"over the course of my, uh."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1099.274,"endTime":1104.495,"body":"Non-monogamous life, which has"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1099.274,"endTime":1104.495,"body":"probably been about 15 years, around"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1104.495,"endTime":1111.305,"body":"15 years, is that when I first"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1104.495,"endTime":1111.305,"body":"started, I was very apprehensive"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1111.455,"endTime":1113.254,"body":"about discussing it with anybody."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1113.254,"endTime":1118.145,"body":"I did it, my partner and I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1113.254,"endTime":1118.145,"body":"agreed upon it, and we just it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1119.014,"endTime":1125.165,"body":"Then I was like, I am really enjoying"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1119.014,"endTime":1125.165,"body":"this and I'm gonna start talking"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1125.165,"endTime":1127.955,"body":"about it, and I started talking"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1125.165,"endTime":1127.955,"body":"about it with my gay friends."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1128.314,"endTime":1131.645,"body":"I started talking about it with my"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1128.314,"endTime":1131.645,"body":"straight friends and I started talking"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1131.645,"endTime":1136.865,"body":"about it with my family and what was,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1131.645,"endTime":1136.865,"body":"what I found really interesting is that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1137.915,"endTime":1145.745,"body":"almost all the time, the conversations"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1137.915,"endTime":1145.745,"body":"actually lasted for a while and it"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1145.745,"endTime":1151.804,"body":"wasn't like, oh, this is what I do,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1145.745,"endTime":1151.804,"body":"and they got Squamish and backed off."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1152.225,"endTime":1157.655,"body":"They started asking questions"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1152.225,"endTime":1157.655,"body":"because they were interested."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1157.745,"endTime":1158.405,"body":"Because, yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1159.844,"endTime":1164.225,"body":"Oh, this is something I've thought"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1159.844,"endTime":1164.225,"body":"about or this is something I wanna do."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1164.945,"endTime":1171.004,"body":"And I think that we live in a time"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1164.945,"endTime":1171.004,"body":"now that it's, it's all over movies."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1171.004,"endTime":1172.205,"body":"It's all over tv."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1173.135,"endTime":1175.235,"body":"We're not in the year 2000 anymore."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1175.235,"endTime":1177.064,"body":"There's so many Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1177.094,"endTime":1183.064,"body":"TV shows and films that have explored"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1177.094,"endTime":1183.064,"body":"this and, and, and people are open to it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1183.064,"endTime":1184.685,"body":"And I think people want to know about it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1184.685,"endTime":1185.764,"body":"And what I've learned is."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1186.26,"endTime":1191.929,"body":"That the more people ask questions,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1186.26,"endTime":1191.929,"body":"it's because they're into it, period."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1192.05,"endTime":1193.429,"body":"They wanna know they wanna do it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1195.169,"endTime":1195.919,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1195.919,"endTime":1198.2,"body":"They're curious about"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1195.919,"endTime":1198.2,"body":"something that interests them."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1198.23,"endTime":1198.47,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1199.19,"endTime":1199.429,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1199.429,"endTime":1205.55,"body":"And chances are like there's, I think"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1199.429,"endTime":1205.55,"body":"you and me, and some of us are the brave"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1205.58,"endTime":1209.99,"body":"ones who really push the envelope and we"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1205.58,"endTime":1209.99,"body":"really talk about it, and we really go"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1209.99,"endTime":1215.27,"body":"that extra mile and take this important"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1209.99,"endTime":1215.27,"body":"subject and bring it out in the open."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1215.899,"endTime":1221.27,"body":"Um, but I applaud anybody"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1215.899,"endTime":1221.27,"body":"at any level of this."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1221.54,"endTime":1224.899,"body":"Uh, even if you're just thinking about"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1221.54,"endTime":1224.899,"body":"it, there's nothing wrong with it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1225.26,"endTime":1227.99,"body":"Uh, absolutely nothing wrong with it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1228.139,"endTime":1232.699,"body":"And they should never think that,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1228.139,"endTime":1232.699,"body":"uh, it's actually a very natural"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1232.76,"endTime":1238.28,"body":"and human thing to occur in your,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1232.76,"endTime":1238.28,"body":"in your, in your soul, you know?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1239.389,"endTime":1240.59,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1241.189,"endTime":1241.73,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1242.405,"endTime":1243.064,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1243.754,"endTime":1247.835,"body":"Um, you know, I, I used to, before I,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1243.754,"endTime":1247.835,"body":"before I did this, uh, I used to own a"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1247.835,"endTime":1251.794,"body":"salon and, um, I would talk to my clients."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1251.794,"endTime":1253.685,"body":"There were some clients I was"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1251.794,"endTime":1253.685,"body":"just open with and we would tell"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1253.685,"endTime":1254.735,"body":"'em what was going on in my life."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1254.735,"endTime":1254.945,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1254.945,"endTime":1257.135,"body":"Me and my husband were, went"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1254.945,"endTime":1257.135,"body":"to a swingers' club, whatever."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1257.675,"endTime":1259.895,"body":"Um, and then there were others"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1257.675,"endTime":1259.895,"body":"that I was scared to talk to."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1259.895,"endTime":1263.705,"body":"Like, you know, I'm like, oh, she's"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1259.895,"endTime":1263.705,"body":"a very proper real estate agent."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1263.705,"endTime":1268.205,"body":"And, but then I would, and those were"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1263.705,"endTime":1268.205,"body":"always the ones that were like, oh yeah,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1268.205,"endTime":1269.645,"body":"my husband and I used to do that too."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1269.794,"endTime":1270.544,"body":"Tell me more."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1270.605,"endTime":1271.235,"body":"Yeah, I'm like."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1272.585,"endTime":1275.555,"body":"It's always the ones"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1272.585,"endTime":1275.555,"body":"that you, you're not expecting"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1275.555,"endTime":1277.44,"body":"that really, like, do that every"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1277.44,"endTime":1277.68,"body":"time."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1277.78,"endTime":1278.001,"body":"And you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1278.006,"endTime":1282.455,"body":"know what, the ones"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1278.006,"endTime":1282.455,"body":"that like sh poo poo you or sh"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1282.665,"endTime":1285.065,"body":"shush you up, fuck, go fuck off."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1285.065,"endTime":1285.425,"body":"I don't know."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1285.425,"endTime":1289.055,"body":"Like I'm, I can't be bothered"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1285.425,"endTime":1289.055,"body":"with you at this point in my life."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1289.535,"endTime":1289.925,"body":"You know?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1289.955,"endTime":1291.155,"body":"It's like those aren't my people."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1291.155,"endTime":1291.335,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1291.335,"endTime":1295.355,"body":"But not my, not my people either"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1291.335,"endTime":1295.355,"body":"are, am I allowed to swear on this?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1295.355,"endTime":1295.415,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1295.475,"endTime":1295.985,"body":"Sorry."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1296.045,"endTime":1297.305,"body":"Okay, good."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1297.365,"endTime":1298.355,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1299.06,"endTime":1299.615,"body":"I tend, I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1299.615,"endTime":1301.265,"body":"tend to curse a lot, so,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1302.045,"endTime":1302.585,"body":"yeah, me too."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1302.615,"endTime":1303.095,"body":"Okay, good."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1306.725,"endTime":1310.535,"body":"Uh, what, so what, what led"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1306.725,"endTime":1310.535,"body":"you to explore non-monogamy?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1310.535,"endTime":1315.875,"body":"Like was there, um, like a defining"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1310.535,"endTime":1315.875,"body":"moment or like a slow opening?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1315.875,"endTime":1316.025,"body":"This"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1316.025,"endTime":1318.695,"body":"is a very interesting"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1316.025,"endTime":1318.695,"body":"question that you ask and you're"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1318.695,"endTime":1321.605,"body":"gonna be, I think you might"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1318.695,"endTime":1321.605,"body":"be surprised by this answer."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1322.57,"endTime":1323.061,"body":"Alright, so."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1325.145,"endTime":1325.504,"body":"Eight."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1325.655,"endTime":1335.524,"body":"My non-monogamy actually came, not"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1325.655,"endTime":1335.524,"body":"really by interest, eight years"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1335.524,"endTime":1341.735,"body":"to the day that my partner and I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1335.524,"endTime":1341.735,"body":"were together, we were monogamous."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1342.8,"endTime":1343.219,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1343.534,"endTime":1345.365,"body":"And I found"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1343.534,"endTime":1345.365,"body":"out that he cheated on me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1347.39,"endTime":1353.72,"body":"And we split up for a little while"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1347.39,"endTime":1353.72,"body":"because I was flushed, like beyond belief."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1353.72,"endTime":1353.81,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1354.05,"endTime":1359.99,"body":"You know, this is in a world as a"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1354.05,"endTime":1359.99,"body":"gay man where prep wasn't around."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1359.99,"endTime":1363.11,"body":"We, like, we couldn't protect"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1359.99,"endTime":1363.11,"body":"each other from, protect ourselves"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1363.71,"endTime":1366.05,"body":"from HIV, from prep or whatever."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1366.32,"endTime":1371.15,"body":"So we were, I was still using"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1366.32,"endTime":1371.15,"body":"condoms at the time and he was"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1371.15,"endTime":1373.55,"body":"off fucking people on the shrouds."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1373.55,"endTime":1373.64,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1374.54,"endTime":1377.84,"body":"I was devastated."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1378.41,"endTime":1379.1,"body":"We broke up"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1379.52,"endTime":1379.76,"body":"I bet."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1380.12,"endTime":1386.84,"body":"And, um, we got back"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1380.12,"endTime":1386.84,"body":"together a few months later and he, you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1386.84,"endTime":1389.84,"body":"know, he came, we met at a bar one day"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1386.84,"endTime":1389.84,"body":"and he said, why don't you come home?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1389.84,"endTime":1390.92,"body":"Let's give this another shot."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1392.96,"endTime":1396.65,"body":"And I decided that I was gonna do it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1396.65,"endTime":1400.55,"body":"I, I loved him immensely and,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1396.65,"endTime":1400.55,"body":"but the only way that I could"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1400.55,"endTime":1402.11,"body":"do get back together with him."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1403.1,"endTime":1408.38,"body":"Was if I open the relationship and I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1403.1,"endTime":1408.38,"body":"said to him, if we get back together,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1408.44,"endTime":1409.79,"body":"the relationship needs to be open."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1410.51,"endTime":1419.21,"body":"And I did that in a weird way to"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1410.51,"endTime":1419.21,"body":"have some control over his cheating"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1420.05,"endTime":1426.11,"body":"because I knew that he needed that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1420.05,"endTime":1426.11,"body":"and I knew that like he would never."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1426.71,"endTime":1432.32,"body":"Keep a stick in his pants, so I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1426.71,"endTime":1432.32,"body":"knew that I had to open it up."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1432.53,"endTime":1436.37,"body":"I knew that I had to allow him"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1432.53,"endTime":1436.37,"body":"where he could safely come home"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1436.37,"endTime":1439.28,"body":"and tell me stories, and I could"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1436.37,"endTime":1439.28,"body":"go do my own thing as well."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1439.85,"endTime":1445.52,"body":"That being said, it turned out to be"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1439.85,"endTime":1445.52,"body":"the best thing that ever happened to us."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1446.21,"endTime":1451.7,"body":"I, it worked out, even though"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1446.21,"endTime":1451.7,"body":"the decision of why it happened."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1452.284,"endTime":1454.235,"body":"Was sort of weird."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1454.235,"endTime":1457.745,"body":"It, it, it became a really"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1454.235,"endTime":1457.745,"body":"good thing for both of us."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1458.165,"endTime":1460.024,"body":"It strengthened our relationship."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1460.294,"endTime":1464.044,"body":"It opened up my sexuality,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1460.294,"endTime":1464.044,"body":"probably his as well."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1464.615,"endTime":1471.935,"body":"Um, and that's kind of how it, it"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1464.615,"endTime":1471.935,"body":"happened, it happened in a way where"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1471.935,"endTime":1476.524,"body":"I thought by opening, I was sort of"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1471.935,"endTime":1476.524,"body":"just keeping tabs on his cheating."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1477.034,"endTime":1480.635,"body":"Uh, but then it mm-hmm actually turned"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1477.034,"endTime":1480.635,"body":"out to be something much better than."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1483.02,"endTime":1483.31,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1484.715,"endTime":1485.794,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1485.794,"endTime":1485.975,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1485.975,"endTime":1489.125,"body":"It's really funny that you say it felt"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1485.975,"endTime":1489.125,"body":"like a way to like control his cheating."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1489.155,"endTime":1492.784,"body":"'cause I, I, I think that that is"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1489.155,"endTime":1492.784,"body":"what a lot of people do is they have"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1492.784,"endTime":1498.845,"body":"this, like, if, if I know, if I know"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1492.784,"endTime":1498.845,"body":"all the things, then I can stay safe."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1498.845,"endTime":1499.31,"body":"If I mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1499.395,"endTime":1504.004,"body":"If I can set the right rules in"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1499.395,"endTime":1504.004,"body":"place, if I can make sure that I"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1504.095,"endTime":1506.87,"body":"have my hands in all the things Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1507.304,"endTime":1508.985,"body":"Then I can feel emotionally"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1508.985,"endTime":1509.465,"body":"safe."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1509.465,"endTime":1509.524,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1510.035,"endTime":1511.115,"body":"Let me ask you a question."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1511.175,"endTime":1511.475,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1511.505,"endTime":1520.025,"body":"Lemme ask you because, um,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1511.505,"endTime":1520.025,"body":"like for me, I need to know, like with"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1520.025,"endTime":1524.975,"body":"my current guy, like even though we're,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1520.025,"endTime":1524.975,"body":"he is more apprehensive about always"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1524.975,"endTime":1528.275,"body":"telling me everything, I always ask him,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1524.975,"endTime":1528.275,"body":"I'm like, tell me exactly what happened."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1528.725,"endTime":1532.205,"body":"There's something about not"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1528.725,"endTime":1532.205,"body":"knowing that bothers me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1532.835,"endTime":1535.025,"body":"I need to know what you did."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1535.595,"endTime":1539.015,"body":"I need to know, like either that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1535.595,"endTime":1539.015,"body":"you're gonna go do it, that you're"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1539.015,"endTime":1540.905,"body":"doing it, or that you did it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1541.055,"endTime":1546.305,"body":"But I wanna know the details and,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1541.055,"endTime":1546.305,"body":"and I don't know why that is, but a,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1546.365,"endTime":1551.945,"body":"I think it makes me feel that, A, we"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1546.365,"endTime":1551.945,"body":"are completely communicating and we're"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1551.945,"endTime":1557.165,"body":"open, but I also just like, I just need"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1551.945,"endTime":1557.165,"body":"to know, like I, I love, I actually"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1557.165,"endTime":1560.525,"body":"like hearing it, the thought of."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1561.635,"endTime":1562.775,"body":"Not quite."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1562.775,"endTime":1568.865,"body":"Knowing that something that may have"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1562.775,"endTime":1568.865,"body":"gone on makes me, makes me crazy."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1570.455,"endTime":1571.235,"body":"What about you?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1571.295,"endTime":1572.345,"body":"How do you feel about that"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1572.795,"endTime":1573.035,"body":"Uhhuh?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1573.695,"endTime":1577.415,"body":"I, I have had both experiences actually."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1577.715,"endTime":1581.525,"body":"Um, so when, so I've always"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1577.715,"endTime":1581.525,"body":"been a pretty like jealous and"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1581.525,"endTime":1583.085,"body":"possessive person my whole life."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1583.085,"endTime":1586.775,"body":"And so when I decided I wasn't gonna be"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1583.085,"endTime":1586.775,"body":"monogamous, I was like, well, that's."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1587.105,"endTime":1588.065,"body":"Gonna cause a problem."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1588.065,"endTime":1588.82,"body":"I gotta figure that out."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1588.89,"endTime":1589.86,"body":"Yeah, you gotta figure that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1589.86,"endTime":1590.825,"body":"out for sure."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1591.185,"endTime":1592.295,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1592.535,"endTime":1595.625,"body":"And um, so my first thing"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1592.535,"endTime":1595.625,"body":"was like, I wanna know everything."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1595.625,"endTime":1597.755,"body":"I wanna know the"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1595.625,"endTime":1597.755,"body":"conversations you're having."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1597.755,"endTime":1599.015,"body":"I wanna know the sex you're having."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1599.015,"endTime":1600.155,"body":"I wanna know everything."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1600.455,"endTime":1605.465,"body":"Because I thought that that part of that"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1600.455,"endTime":1605.465,"body":"was like, my imagination is gonna make"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1605.465,"endTime":1607.715,"body":"everything so much worse than the reality."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1607.745,"endTime":1608.255,"body":"Exactly."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1608.525,"endTime":1608.945,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1609.635,"endTime":1610.055,"body":"Um."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1610.909,"endTime":1615.889,"body":"Yet, even though I knew all the things,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1610.909,"endTime":1615.889,"body":"I would still fixate on some of it and be"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1615.889,"endTime":1619.699,"body":"like, well, you know, was it the left side"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1615.889,"endTime":1619.699,"body":"of the bed or the right side of the bed?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1619.699,"endTime":1622.25,"body":"Like I really, I would just like,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1619.699,"endTime":1622.25,"body":"I, like, there was a, it was like"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1622.25,"endTime":1626.6,"body":"a net, a bottomless pit of, of"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1622.25,"endTime":1626.6,"body":"information that I needed, right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1626.6,"endTime":1630.35,"body":"Like my partner was like, I, I can't"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1626.6,"endTime":1630.35,"body":"tell you enough to make you feel secure."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1630.5,"endTime":1630.77,"body":"Like."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1631.1,"endTime":1632.314,"body":"You know?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1632.544,"endTime":1632.834,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1632.905,"endTime":1636.53,"body":"Well you, and so, so then I"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1632.905,"endTime":1636.53,"body":"go, started going, well, okay, maybe"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1636.53,"endTime":1637.459,"body":"I don't need to know everything."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1637.459,"endTime":1640.399,"body":"Maybe there's certain aspects of"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1637.459,"endTime":1640.399,"body":"it that I need to know, right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1640.399,"endTime":1640.73,"body":"Like,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1642.74,"endTime":1645.35,"body":"not every little detail,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1642.74,"endTime":1645.35,"body":"but enough to know like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1645.379,"endTime":1646.73,"body":"you're, you're doing a thing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1646.76,"endTime":1647.149,"body":"Cool."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1647.149,"endTime":1647.24,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1647.57,"endTime":1648.05,"body":"Have fun."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1648.26,"endTime":1649.429,"body":"Are you enjoying it?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1649.459,"endTime":1652.28,"body":"Can I feel maybe a little bit"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1649.459,"endTime":1652.28,"body":"co of conversion for that?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1652.34,"endTime":1657.29,"body":"You know, it, for me, it always came"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1652.34,"endTime":1657.29,"body":"down to were they better than me?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1658.429,"endTime":1659.149,"body":"Like that."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1659.179,"endTime":1662.51,"body":"Like just the things that triggered"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1659.179,"endTime":1662.51,"body":"my insecurities and now I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1662.51,"endTime":1666.409,"body":"okay, I would just like to know that"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1662.51,"endTime":1666.409,"body":"you came home and you still love me."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1666.8,"endTime":1669.649,"body":"So I've gone through a"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1666.8,"endTime":1669.649,"body":"whole like exactly spectrum."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1671.179,"endTime":1674.48,"body":"And a lot of it I think came down to"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1671.179,"endTime":1674.48,"body":"my own internal sense of security."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1674.6,"endTime":1674.659,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1674.659,"endTime":1677.179,"body":"Like just keep kept"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1674.659,"endTime":1677.179,"body":"working on my self-esteem."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1677.99,"endTime":1682.129,"body":"So that like now if I wanna know details,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1677.99,"endTime":1682.129,"body":"it's 'cause like I'm real curious and"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1682.129,"endTime":1684.56,"body":"actually interested in the details like."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1685.1,"endTime":1687.47,"body":"Did something hot happen"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1685.1,"endTime":1687.47,"body":"that I can be excited about?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1687.53,"endTime":1687.679,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1687.679,"endTime":1688.159,"body":"I love that."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1688.22,"endTime":1689.87,"body":"Is there"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1688.22,"endTime":1689.87,"body":"something I can learn from?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1690.169,"endTime":1690.379,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1690.379,"endTime":1690.71,"body":"Um,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1690.71,"endTime":1693.77,"body":"but in the beginning it"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1690.71,"endTime":1693.77,"body":"was very much like, just give me"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1693.77,"endTime":1696.29,"body":"anything to make me not feel insecure."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1697.37,"endTime":1697.639,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1697.639,"endTime":1697.7,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1697.879,"endTime":1700.34,"body":"I, I totally, I totally,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1697.879,"endTime":1700.34,"body":"I totally understand that."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1700.34,"endTime":1705.95,"body":"And, you know, I don't think, um, and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1700.34,"endTime":1705.95,"body":"what I've learned, and probably you have"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1706.01,"endTime":1709.159,"body":"as well, is like, they're never better."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1709.399,"endTime":1712.01,"body":"Those people are, are"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1709.399,"endTime":1712.01,"body":"never better than you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1712.01,"endTime":1713.72,"body":"It is just different, you know."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1713.75,"endTime":1713.78,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1714.395,"endTime":1715.355,"body":"Different is okay."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1715.565,"endTime":1718.565,"body":"And they're never gonna,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1715.565,"endTime":1718.565,"body":"they're never gonna be you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1718.565,"endTime":1719.855,"body":"They're never gonna match you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1719.855,"endTime":1722.735,"body":"They're never gonna be"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1719.855,"endTime":1722.735,"body":"better than you or outdo you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1722.735,"endTime":1726.274,"body":"They're just different and sometimes"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1722.735,"endTime":1726.274,"body":"different is okay, you know?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1726.695,"endTime":1734.284,"body":"And like you said, I think that there's"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1726.695,"endTime":1734.284,"body":"something to be said about hearing"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1734.284,"endTime":1739.655,"body":"the story and being turned on by it"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1734.284,"endTime":1739.655,"body":"and learning from it, and maybe like"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1739.655,"endTime":1743.254,"body":"incorporating some of that into your own"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1739.655,"endTime":1743.254,"body":"sex life or whatever the case may be."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1743.3,"endTime":1752.57,"body":"You know, I, after this rep ended, uh,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1743.3,"endTime":1752.57,"body":"in December, 2022 in a catastrophic way."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1752.93,"endTime":1754.909,"body":"I don't know if you've got"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1752.93,"endTime":1754.909,"body":"that part in the book yet."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1754.909,"endTime":1756.284,"body":"Um, we haven't gotten there yet."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1756.29,"endTime":1758.69,"body":"Yeah, it's pretty, my"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1756.29,"endTime":1758.69,"body":"parents get involved."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1758.87,"endTime":1759.68,"body":"It's a whole thing."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1760.43,"endTime":1761.0,"body":"Um,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1761.149,"endTime":1761.48,"body":"oh"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1761.75,"endTime":1762.169,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1762.47,"endTime":1765.11,"body":"He did it in front of"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1762.47,"endTime":1765.11,"body":"my parents at Christmas."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1765.83,"endTime":1767.51,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1768.445,"endTime":1768.794,"body":"Uhhuh."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1769.34,"endTime":1770.96,"body":"So, uh."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1772.58,"endTime":1774.89,"body":"I'm not bitter anymore at all."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1775.19,"endTime":1780.29,"body":"'cause I truly believe the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1775.19,"endTime":1780.29,"body":"universe actually set this"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1780.29,"endTime":1782.21,"body":"third person into my life."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1783.05,"endTime":1791.72,"body":"A, to bring the two of them together"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1783.05,"endTime":1791.72,"body":"and B, to get me out of what I was in."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1792.38,"endTime":1796.13,"body":"And I, I gotta tell you,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1792.38,"endTime":1796.13,"body":"I loved what I was in."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1796.82,"endTime":1797.36,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1797.81,"endTime":1804.35,"body":"But I also think that even though I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1797.81,"endTime":1804.35,"body":"didn't want to face it, I think it was"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1804.35,"endTime":1811.22,"body":"time for when I was in to end and it"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1804.35,"endTime":1811.22,"body":"was time for me to grow as a person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1811.82,"endTime":1816.86,"body":"And like, I'm an artist, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1811.82,"endTime":1816.86,"body":"I, I've always been sort of one a"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1816.86,"endTime":1819.77,"body":"person that is always trying new"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1816.86,"endTime":1819.77,"body":"things and, and doing new things."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1819.77,"endTime":1825.29,"body":"And he was very more, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1819.77,"endTime":1825.29,"body":"very business minded type of guy."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1826.264,"endTime":1832.115,"body":"And what, what The point I'm"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1826.264,"endTime":1832.115,"body":"trying to get at is my sex life"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1832.504,"endTime":1840.754,"body":"in the past two years transcends"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1832.504,"endTime":1840.754,"body":"my entire existence prior to it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1841.024,"endTime":1848.825,"body":"Like what has happened with the person"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1841.024,"endTime":1848.825,"body":"I've met is off the charts, and it"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1848.825,"endTime":1853.504,"body":"would've never happened if Lucas"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1848.825,"endTime":1853.504,"body":"Walker did not walk into my life."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1855.169,"endTime":1855.71,"body":"Uh huh."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1855.715,"endTime":1855.905,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1856.034,"endTime":1857.345,"body":"Uhhuh, Uhhuh, Uhhuh."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1857.87,"endTime":1859.19,"body":"That makes so much sense."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1859.22,"endTime":1861.62,"body":"I, my partner says there's no"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1859.22,"endTime":1861.62,"body":"such thing as a bad breakup."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1861.62,"endTime":1863.99,"body":"I mean, even if it's, you"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1861.62,"endTime":1863.99,"body":"know, painful or whatever."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1864.02,"endTime":1864.26,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1864.35,"endTime":1867.35,"body":"Like, nobody should be in a relationship"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1864.35,"endTime":1867.35,"body":"with someone who doesn't wanna"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1867.35,"endTime":1868.49,"body":"be in a relationship with them."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1868.49,"endTime":1868.7,"body":"A hundred"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1868.7,"endTime":1869.06,"body":"percent."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1869.205,"endTime":1870.985,"body":"And like, right."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1871.639,"endTime":1873.44,"body":"And, and when things."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1874.49,"endTime":1875.78,"body":"Shift and change."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1875.78,"endTime":1878.78,"body":"Like there's so many opportunities"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1875.78,"endTime":1878.78,"body":"that open up to you that you"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1878.78,"endTime":1880.64,"body":"don't know are opportunities."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1880.64,"endTime":1884.27,"body":"You don't know that there what's available"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1880.64,"endTime":1884.27,"body":"to you if you're, if you're in this box,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1884.27,"endTime":1885.95,"body":"you don't know what other boxes there are."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1886.16,"endTime":1886.46,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1886.91,"endTime":1890.69,"body":"And I, and I, you know, it's cliche and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1886.91,"endTime":1890.69,"body":"people talk about it all the time, but"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1890.69,"endTime":1893.75,"body":"I actually really do believe, and that's"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1890.69,"endTime":1893.75,"body":"what I talk about in the book as well,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1893.75,"endTime":1895.85,"body":"it's like listening to your inner whisper."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1895.85,"endTime":1898.94,"body":"And I really do believe in"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1895.85,"endTime":1898.94,"body":"the unit protecting you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1899.09,"endTime":1899.54,"body":"You know?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1899.54,"endTime":1902.78,"body":"And I believe that the universe"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1899.54,"endTime":1902.78,"body":"guides you and you gotta."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1903.274,"endTime":1908.075,"body":"You have to watch the signs and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1903.274,"endTime":1908.075,"body":"you have to be, you know, weary,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1909.245,"endTime":1911.585,"body":"cognizant of, of what those signs are."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1912.365,"endTime":1918.305,"body":"After this breakup, so many people"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1912.365,"endTime":1918.305,"body":"kept saying to me, karma, karma, karma."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1918.335,"endTime":1920.225,"body":"Karma's gonna get 'em,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1918.335,"endTime":1920.225,"body":"Karma's gonna get 'em."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1921.095,"endTime":1924.995,"body":"And every time someone said that to me,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1921.095,"endTime":1924.995,"body":"I was like, I don't want term together."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1925.32,"endTime":1927.635,"body":"I, I didn't want that for him and."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1929.51,"endTime":1933.711,"body":"I truly mean that I never, I don't"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1929.51,"endTime":1933.711,"body":"want karma to get him, and I don't,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1933.711,"endTime":1939.89,"body":"I, I even though like I hated them"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1933.711,"endTime":1939.89,"body":"so much for the time that I was"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1939.89,"endTime":1948.56,"body":"going through, I am thankful that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1939.89,"endTime":1948.56,"body":"it happened and I am thankful that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1948.74,"endTime":1952.07,"body":"they have each other, um, because."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1952.775,"endTime":1953.405,"body":"There's no point."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1953.405,"endTime":1961.325,"body":"Like if I dwell my whole life on"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1953.405,"endTime":1961.325,"body":"why, why, why, how, how, how, it's"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1961.325,"endTime":1963.785,"body":"only going to hurt me moving forward."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1963.785,"endTime":1965.285,"body":"It's only gonna hurt my mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1965.495,"endTime":1966.845,"body":"Relationships moving forward."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1967.205,"endTime":1971.045,"body":"Like your, your boyfriend is"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1967.205,"endTime":1971.045,"body":"your, your boyfriend or partner?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1972.215,"endTime":1972.545,"body":"That's my"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1972.545,"endTime":1972.965,"body":"boyfriend."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1972.965,"endTime":1973.145,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1973.175,"endTime":1973.295,"body":"Your"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1973.295,"endTime":1973.775,"body":"boyfriend."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1974.015,"endTime":1974.675,"body":"He's very right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1974.765,"endTime":1979.655,"body":"There's, I don't, I actually,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1974.765,"endTime":1979.655,"body":"I haven't heard that."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1980.165,"endTime":1983.105,"body":"Phrase often, but I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1980.165,"endTime":1983.105,"body":"really agree with that."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1983.105,"endTime":1986.315,"body":"I don't think they're really"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":1983.105,"endTime":1986.315,"body":"breakup that, you know, isnt"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1986.705,"endTime":1986.945,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1988.145,"endTime":1989.105,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1989.855,"endTime":1990.095,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1990.095,"endTime":1990.935,"body":"I think it's really good."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1991.085,"endTime":1994.205,"body":"I like who you're talking about,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1991.085,"endTime":1994.205,"body":"about, um, the universe protecting you."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1994.205,"endTime":1998.284,"body":"I, I like to think of our brain"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1994.205,"endTime":1998.284,"body":"as like, we have these really"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":1998.435,"endTime":1999.965,"body":"smart, but really dumb computers."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2000.294,"endTime":2000.385,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2000.415,"endTime":2004.794,"body":"Um, but the a the algorithm is,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2000.415,"endTime":2004.794,"body":"is designed to pick up on the"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2004.794,"endTime":2007.225,"body":"clues to put you in the direction"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2004.794,"endTime":2007.225,"body":"that you should be going."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2007.225,"endTime":2007.284,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2007.705,"endTime":2007.794,"body":"The"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2007.794,"endTime":2008.905,"body":"algorithm that your brain."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2009.61,"endTime":2010.84,"body":"Uh, uses."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2010.9,"endTime":2010.99,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2011.26,"endTime":2011.59,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2011.59,"endTime":2014.38,"body":"If you're paying attention to"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2011.59,"endTime":2014.38,"body":"it, it will be like, Hey, turn"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2014.38,"endTime":2015.82,"body":"left here, turn right here."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2015.88,"endTime":2015.97,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2016.21,"endTime":2016.99,"body":"Open that door."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2017.08,"endTime":2018.55,"body":"Don't go anywhere near that door."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2018.55,"endTime":2018.64,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2018.88,"endTime":2022.27,"body":"And if you're paying attention to"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2018.88,"endTime":2022.27,"body":"it, where you wind up is like, great."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2022.27,"endTime":2023.83,"body":"That was exactly what"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2022.27,"endTime":2023.83,"body":"I was supposed to be."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2023.835,"endTime":2023.985,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2024.31,"endTime":2025.21,"body":"That all worked out."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2025.33,"endTime":2029.68,"body":"I mean, how many times do"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2025.33,"endTime":2029.68,"body":"you look back and everyone experiences"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2029.68,"endTime":2034.96,"body":"this all the time where you say,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2029.68,"endTime":2034.96,"body":"oh, I knew I should have done that."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2035.05,"endTime":2037.12,"body":"I like, I, I felt it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2037.42,"endTime":2038.08,"body":"I didn't do it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2038.889,"endTime":2039.879,"body":"We do it all the time."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2039.879,"endTime":2039.969,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2040.6,"endTime":2046.24,"body":"And the one thing that I am really"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2040.6,"endTime":2046.24,"body":"committing to now at this point in"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2046.24,"endTime":2049.06,"body":"my life, is not doing that anymore."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2049.06,"endTime":2050.29,"body":"Like, I'm not doing that."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2050.29,"endTime":2054.88,"body":"Like, oh, something said to me,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2050.29,"endTime":2054.88,"body":"do this, but I didn't do it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2055.029,"endTime":2055.54,"body":"I'm not doing it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2055.554,"endTime":2061.179,"body":"If, if I feel innately in that moment,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2055.554,"endTime":2061.179,"body":"like something is not right, then I'm"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2061.179,"endTime":2062.799,"body":"going to, I'm gonna go with that feeling."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2063.339,"endTime":2065.83,"body":"If I feel like something is"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2063.339,"endTime":2065.83,"body":"right in that moment, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2065.83,"endTime":2067.509,"body":"go with that feeling as well."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2067.75,"endTime":2070.54,"body":"If I'm confused, I'm just"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2067.75,"endTime":2070.54,"body":"gonna pour myself a vodka."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2074.83,"endTime":2075.279,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2075.46,"endTime":2075.67,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2075.67,"endTime":2078.879,"body":"We've been, we've been so"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2075.67,"endTime":2078.879,"body":"conditioned to ignore our intuition."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2078.94,"endTime":2079.21,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2079.239,"endTime":2080.35,"body":"So conditioned."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2080.83,"endTime":2085.81,"body":"I went to a thing, um, a few years ago"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2080.83,"endTime":2085.81,"body":"where it was a, like a weekend with a"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2085.81,"endTime":2090.429,"body":"bunch of women learning about intuition"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2085.81,"endTime":2090.429,"body":"and how to like, pay attention to it and."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2090.97,"endTime":2093.4,"body":"I was like, I don't, she was like, you"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2090.97,"endTime":2093.4,"body":"know that gut feeling that you have?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2093.4,"endTime":2094.84,"body":"And I was like, no, I don't"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2093.4,"endTime":2094.84,"body":"know what you're talking about."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2094.84,"endTime":2096.37,"body":"I don't know what feeling"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2094.84,"endTime":2096.37,"body":"you're talking about."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2096.699,"endTime":2098.86,"body":"And so what she had me do, she"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2096.699,"endTime":2098.86,"body":"was like, just flip a quarter."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2098.86,"endTime":2102.82,"body":"Anytime you're making a decision, you"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2098.86,"endTime":2102.82,"body":"know I'm gonna wear the red shoes."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2102.82,"endTime":2105.43,"body":"If it's on heads, I'm gonna wear"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2102.82,"endTime":2105.43,"body":"the black shoes if it's on tails."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2105.64,"endTime":2108.67,"body":"She was like, you flip a"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2105.64,"endTime":2108.67,"body":"quarter, it lands on heads."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2109.06,"endTime":2111.97,"body":"If you're like, ah, if you"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2109.06,"endTime":2111.97,"body":"feel disappointed, you don't"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2111.97,"endTime":2113.08,"body":"have to do the thing it said."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2113.08,"endTime":2114.73,"body":"But now you know what your gut feeling is."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2114.73,"endTime":2114.82,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2115.06,"endTime":2117.49,"body":"It wanted, you really"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2115.06,"endTime":2117.49,"body":"wanna wear the black shoes?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2118.225,"endTime":2121.285,"body":"Doesn't matter what the quarter"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2118.225,"endTime":2121.285,"body":"said, but you get, learn what"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2121.285,"endTime":2122.755,"body":"your intuition is saying."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2122.785,"endTime":2123.415,"body":"Exactly."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2123.415,"endTime":2123.715,"body":"I was like,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2123.715,"endTime":2124.585,"body":"that's brilliant."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2124.585,"endTime":2125.515,"body":"We started doing that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2125.605,"endTime":2129.025,"body":"and the, and that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2125.605,"endTime":2129.025,"body":"kind of stuff happens all day,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2129.025,"endTime":2130.975,"body":"every day, every minute of the day."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2131.035,"endTime":2139.765,"body":"It's, it's those little things"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2131.035,"endTime":2139.765,"body":"that even now, if I think that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2140.005,"endTime":2146.185,"body":"I'm supposed to make a left turn"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2140.005,"endTime":2146.185,"body":"and I'm gonna make that left turn."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2146.605,"endTime":2151.915,"body":"I just, I follow what I'm, I feel"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2146.605,"endTime":2151.915,"body":"like I'm supposed to do hope."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2152.125,"endTime":2153.444,"body":"I hope it doesn't kill me, but"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2157.915,"endTime":2158.575,"body":"guess we'll see."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2158.935,"endTime":2161.665,"body":"Well as the, as the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2158.935,"endTime":2161.665,"body":"universe is telling me, it's my time."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2164.995,"endTime":2169.194,"body":"You know, that's, I think"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2164.995,"endTime":2169.194,"body":"that's kind of, uh, everyone who"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2169.194,"endTime":2172.345,"body":"opens a monogamous relationship is"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2169.194,"endTime":2172.345,"body":"like, I, I hope this doesn't kill me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2172.345,"endTime":2172.915,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2173.365,"endTime":2173.815,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2174.265,"endTime":2175.555,"body":"I so."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2175.975,"endTime":2178.345,"body":"Um, let me ask you a question."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2178.345,"endTime":2184.765,"body":"So do you think that most people are"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2178.345,"endTime":2184.765,"body":"interested in this subject matter?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2185.064,"endTime":2189.024,"body":"Like do you think that am my, like,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2185.064,"endTime":2189.024,"body":"'cause I really actually believe that most"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2189.024,"endTime":2194.964,"body":"people, like I said, are either interested"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2189.024,"endTime":2194.964,"body":"in it, wanna do it, or are lying about it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2194.964,"endTime":2196.165,"body":"And that's just cheating."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2197.035,"endTime":2198.475,"body":"Like how mu I mean, do, I would say"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2198.56,"endTime":2198.919,"body":"about half."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2199.314,"endTime":2200.064,"body":"About half."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2200.125,"endTime":2200.604,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2200.604,"endTime":2201.265,"body":"That's fair."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2201.564,"endTime":2205.104,"body":"I mean, do, does it really exist where."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2205.585,"endTime":2206.875,"body":"Maybe it does, and I'm sure it does."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2206.935,"endTime":2209.425,"body":"'cause my parents are"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2206.935,"endTime":2209.425,"body":"a living proof of it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2209.845,"endTime":2213.265,"body":"They were together like 60"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2209.845,"endTime":2213.265,"body":"years and they're committed"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2213.265,"endTime":2215.485,"body":"and they're lovebirds still."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2215.485,"endTime":2218.395,"body":"And I love it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2218.395,"endTime":2223.435,"body":"But at the same time, it's like,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2218.395,"endTime":2223.435,"body":"how often does that really,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2223.495,"endTime":2225.235,"body":"really, really truly happen?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2225.595,"endTime":2227.515,"body":"Does it really, really, really happen?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2228.415,"endTime":2229.165,"body":"I don't think so."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2230.065,"endTime":2231.115,"body":"Maybe I'm wrong."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2231.295,"endTime":2234.775,"body":"I God bless my parents for it, and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2231.295,"endTime":2234.775,"body":"that's why I always strived for it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2234.924,"endTime":2239.245,"body":"And I think that they're a little"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2234.924,"endTime":2239.245,"body":"disappointed that I've gone far"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2239.245,"endTime":2240.745,"body":"away from what they believed in."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2241.615,"endTime":2243.685,"body":"But I don't know."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2244.345,"endTime":2251.095,"body":"I just feel like it's just not, it's"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2244.345,"endTime":2251.095,"body":"just not something that is there"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2251.245,"endTime":2253.555,"body":"anymore or maybe it never was there."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2253.555,"endTime":2254.43,"body":"I don't, I don't,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2256.795,"endTime":2257.214,"body":"I think."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2257.845,"endTime":2261.265,"body":"First of all, out of the billions"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2257.845,"endTime":2261.265,"body":"of people in the world, right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2261.265,"endTime":2266.335,"body":"Like the chances that you're gonna work"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2261.265,"endTime":2266.335,"body":"with or live next door to the one person"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2266.335,"endTime":2270.145,"body":"you're gonna fall in love with, like"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2266.335,"endTime":2270.145,"body":"really that that's, that's so far fetched."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2271.675,"endTime":2274.255,"body":"And we have so many people who"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2271.675,"endTime":2274.255,"body":"are like serial monogamous, right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2274.255,"endTime":2276.805,"body":"They go from one relat to five"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2274.255,"endTime":2276.805,"body":"years in this relationship, 10"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2276.805,"endTime":2279.565,"body":"years in this relationship, a"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2276.805,"endTime":2279.565,"body":"year in this relationship, right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2279.565,"endTime":2281.875,"body":"And every time they're in"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2279.565,"endTime":2281.875,"body":"love, every time it's real."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2282.235,"endTime":2284.995,"body":"Or maybe they look back and go,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2282.235,"endTime":2284.995,"body":"oh, we may, it really wasn't."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2284.995,"endTime":2286.315,"body":"But I mean, at the time it was."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2286.975,"endTime":2289.765,"body":"Um, so, so monogamy for life?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2290.005,"endTime":2293.785,"body":"No, I don't think that is really"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2290.005,"endTime":2293.785,"body":"what we're, we're wired for."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2293.875,"endTime":2293.965,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2294.235,"endTime":2294.565,"body":"Um,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2294.565,"endTime":2298.825,"body":"but some people, monogamy is"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2294.565,"endTime":2298.825,"body":"what works for them because of their"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2299.095,"endTime":2304.315,"body":"emotional capacity or their sexual"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2299.095,"endTime":2304.315,"body":"capacity or just, you know, life being"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2304.315,"endTime":2308.995,"body":"life and, and what they're actually able"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2304.315,"endTime":2308.995,"body":"to do or what they, um, can conceive of."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2309.685,"endTime":2311.155,"body":"But I would say about half are like."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2311.86,"endTime":2314.23,"body":"If the opportunity were"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2311.86,"endTime":2314.23,"body":"there, I'd probably take it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2314.38,"endTime":2314.59,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2314.59,"endTime":2317.47,"body":"If I didn't think I'd lose the life"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2314.59,"endTime":2317.47,"body":"that I have, I'd probably take it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2317.5,"endTime":2317.74,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2317.74,"endTime":2318.58,"body":"Hall pass."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2318.67,"endTime":2319.12,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2320.17,"endTime":2320.47,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2320.47,"endTime":2322.54,"body":"And I think that has a"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2320.47,"endTime":2322.54,"body":"lot to do with it too."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2322.54,"endTime":2328.06,"body":"It's like if it ends catastrophically"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2322.54,"endTime":2328.06,"body":"like it did with me, but even"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2328.06,"endTime":2334.54,"body":"though I don't consider this, I was"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2328.06,"endTime":2334.54,"body":"always not monogamous with, um, him."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2335.38,"endTime":2339.67,"body":"It was the throuple aspect"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2335.38,"endTime":2339.67,"body":"that sort of crashed it all."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2340.03,"endTime":2340.93,"body":"But you do."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2341.995,"endTime":2346.105,"body":"There is that element of you could"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2341.995,"endTime":2346.105,"body":"potentially lose everything in your life."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2346.105,"endTime":2348.325,"body":"Like your whole life"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2346.105,"endTime":2348.325,"body":"gets from upside down."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2348.325,"endTime":2353.785,"body":"You know, I, I lost my home"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2348.325,"endTime":2353.785,"body":"and there's, I lost family."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2353.785,"endTime":2354.715,"body":"I lost friends."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2355.735,"endTime":2364.975,"body":"But like I said, um, again, there"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2355.735,"endTime":2364.975,"body":"are my people and my places or"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2364.975,"endTime":2367.045,"body":"whatever that have not left me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2367.465,"endTime":2370.675,"body":"And those are my, that's"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2367.465,"endTime":2370.675,"body":"my constant, you know."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2371.095,"endTime":2378.685,"body":"And I, my friend reminded me after the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2371.095,"endTime":2378.685,"body":"split that really sort of resonated with"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2378.685,"endTime":2388.915,"body":"me is that the people that always loved me"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2378.685,"endTime":2388.915,"body":"and stood by me were still standing by me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2389.485,"endTime":2392.245,"body":"The people that weren't there"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2389.485,"endTime":2392.245,"body":"anymore were meant to go."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2393.985,"endTime":2394.255,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2394.38,"endTime":2394.8,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2394.885,"endTime":2395.245,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2395.845,"endTime":2396.115,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2396.355,"endTime":2396.955,"body":"Exactly."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2397.075,"endTime":2397.705,"body":"Yeah, exactly."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2398.155,"endTime":2399.835,"body":"Which I think is great."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2399.865,"endTime":2404.455,"body":"You know, we, we evolve and change"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2399.865,"endTime":2404.455,"body":"throughout our lives and the people that"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2404.515,"endTime":2408.925,"body":"are, that we're in relationship with and"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2404.515,"endTime":2408.925,"body":"in community with also grow and change."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2409.105,"endTime":2411.685,"body":"So it makes sense that,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2409.105,"endTime":2411.685,"body":"you know, we'll, we'll have"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2411.685,"endTime":2412.84,"body":"different people with us mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2412.965,"endTime":2414.445,"body":"In different parts of our lives."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2414.535,"endTime":2414.745,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2415.405,"endTime":2416.635,"body":"It makes so much sense."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2416.64,"endTime":2416.72,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2417.59,"endTime":2417.88,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2419.185,"endTime":2427.375,"body":"Um, I'm curious, before and after the"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2419.185,"endTime":2427.375,"body":"throuple, was jealousy an issue for you?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2428.755,"endTime":2429.265,"body":"No."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2429.475,"endTime":2430.465,"body":"So I,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2433.405,"endTime":2436.645,"body":"I was, and, and that's why like"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2433.405,"endTime":2436.645,"body":"I actually walked into this ruple"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2436.645,"endTime":2439.555,"body":"thinking that I could really do it"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2436.645,"endTime":2439.555,"body":"because I was not a jealous person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2440.395,"endTime":2442.855,"body":"He was definitely not a jealous person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2443.305,"endTime":2446.935,"body":"If, if you had to pick outta the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2443.305,"endTime":2446.935,"body":"two of us, who was the more jealous?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2447.265,"endTime":2448.585,"body":"It would probably me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2449.005,"endTime":2452.875,"body":"It was just because I needed to know"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2449.005,"endTime":2452.875,"body":"everything he was doing as long as"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2452.875,"endTime":2455.935,"body":"he was telling me what he was doing,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2452.875,"endTime":2455.935,"body":"when he was doing it, how he was"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2455.935,"endTime":2457.735,"body":"doing it, all that kind of stuff."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2457.735,"endTime":2462.055,"body":"As long as I could have the picture"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2457.735,"endTime":2462.055,"body":"painted in my head, I was good."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2462.055,"endTime":2463.255,"body":"I wasn't not a jealous person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2463.765,"endTime":2470.455,"body":"Um, because I knew at the end of his"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2463.765,"endTime":2470.455,"body":"vacation or work trip or night out"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2470.455,"endTime":2474.235,"body":"with his friends, if he went home with"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2470.455,"endTime":2474.235,"body":"somebody that he was coming home to me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2474.235,"endTime":2476.575,"body":"He was getting in my bed,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2474.235,"endTime":2476.575,"body":"you know, he was mine."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2476.965,"endTime":2478.405,"body":"We're, we're waking up together."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2478.795,"endTime":2482.995,"body":"You know, we're spending Christmas"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2478.795,"endTime":2482.995,"body":"together, we're moving, you know, we do"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2482.995,"endTime":2484.435,"body":"every, we make the decisions together."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2484.435,"endTime":2488.215,"body":"He was my person, so jealousy"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2484.435,"endTime":2488.215,"body":"was not an issue for me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2489.205,"endTime":2498.415,"body":"Um, but as soon as the emotions got"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2489.205,"endTime":2498.415,"body":"involved, as soon as I gave that third"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2498.415,"endTime":2507.205,"body":"person equality in a relationship"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2498.415,"endTime":2507.205,"body":"that I had cultivated for 22 years."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2507.565,"endTime":2509.964,"body":"Jealousy became a big factor."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2510.685,"endTime":2515.365,"body":"And after, uh, there's a part in the"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2510.685,"endTime":2515.365,"body":"book that I talk about after the breakup."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2516.085,"endTime":2520.585,"body":"Lucas, the third guy, um,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2516.085,"endTime":2520.585,"body":"it was Christmas time."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2520.615,"endTime":2522.265,"body":"It was a couple days after Christmas."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2522.654,"endTime":2524.725,"body":"He was in Palm Springs"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2522.654,"endTime":2524.725,"body":"as well at that time."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2524.725,"endTime":2530.275,"body":"'cause long story, but he came to"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2524.725,"endTime":2530.275,"body":"the house with the gifts that he"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2530.305,"endTime":2532.855,"body":"intended to give me over for Christmas."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2533.694,"endTime":2535.495,"body":"I had all of his wrapped as well."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2535.87,"endTime":2539.95,"body":"Don't ask me why we decided to exchange"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2535.87,"endTime":2539.95,"body":"them at that point, but we did."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2540.43,"endTime":2541.81,"body":"So he comes into the house."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2541.81,"endTime":2543.25,"body":"My partner's long gone out."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2543.37,"endTime":2544.39,"body":"I don't know where the fuck he is."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2545.259,"endTime":2551.259,"body":"Lucas comes into the house, sits across"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2545.259,"endTime":2551.259,"body":"this table in my dining room that's 10"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2551.259,"endTime":2557.14,"body":"feet across all of his gifts that were"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2551.259,"endTime":2557.14,"body":"geared to me or unwrapped, and he starts"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2557.14,"endTime":2559.75,"body":"tossing them to me like I was a dog."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2560.529,"endTime":2564.73,"body":"He was like, this one was meant"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2560.529,"endTime":2564.73,"body":"for when we were gonna be in."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2565.795,"endTime":2570.625,"body":"Uh, Canada at New Year's,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2565.795,"endTime":2570.625,"body":"this one was, and he just,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2570.685,"endTime":2574.83,"body":"and I was like, what the fuck?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2575.785,"endTime":2578.305,"body":"Like, why are you treating"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2575.785,"endTime":2578.305,"body":"me like this right now?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2579.115,"endTime":2590.935,"body":"And I realized that, oh, so he says"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2579.115,"endTime":2590.935,"body":"to me during this altercation, your"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2590.935,"endTime":2593.215,"body":"jealousy got in the way of everything."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2595.6,"endTime":2598.63,"body":"And I, I couldn't, I could barely breathe."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2598.69,"endTime":2603.64,"body":"And I said to myself later, when"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2598.69,"endTime":2603.64,"body":"I could actually process what"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2603.64,"endTime":2605.14,"body":"had happened in this moment."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2606.07,"endTime":2606.58,"body":"Damn right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2606.58,"endTime":2607.42,"body":"I was jealous."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2608.08,"endTime":2608.74,"body":"Damn right."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2608.74,"endTime":2609.73,"body":"I was jealous."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2609.97,"endTime":2613.93,"body":"I was in a 22 year relationship and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2609.97,"endTime":2613.93,"body":"there were things going beyond my"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2613.93,"endTime":2616.42,"body":"back and things were formulating."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2616.51,"endTime":2618.52,"body":"I had every right to be"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2616.51,"endTime":2618.52,"body":"jealous at that point."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2619.63,"endTime":2624.79,"body":"Because things were happening, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2619.63,"endTime":2624.79,"body":"five days later after this all happened,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2625.42,"endTime":2630.52,"body":"I'm on Grindr and I found the two of"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2625.42,"endTime":2630.52,"body":"them in Miami on in Miami Beach together."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2631.81,"endTime":2635.14,"body":"So you're gonna tell, right, so"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2631.81,"endTime":2635.14,"body":"you're gonna tell me that there"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2635.14,"endTime":2636.37,"body":"wasn't something happening?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2636.43,"endTime":2638.715,"body":"Damn, Brian, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2636.43,"endTime":2638.715,"body":"be jealous just saying"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2640.585,"endTime":2640.935,"body":"Uhhuh."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2641.385,"endTime":2641.735,"body":"Uhhuh."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2641.835,"endTime":2642.055,"body":"Uh."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2644.305,"endTime":2644.665,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2644.694,"endTime":2645.055,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2645.265,"endTime":2650.725,"body":"You know, I talk a a lot about jealousy on"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2645.265,"endTime":2650.725,"body":"the podcast because it's this thing that"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2650.725,"endTime":2656.575,"body":"we use as like an insult or like, there's"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2650.725,"endTime":2656.575,"body":"something wrong with you if you're, if"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2656.575,"endTime":2660.865,"body":"you experience jealousy, like, oh, you're"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2656.575,"endTime":2660.865,"body":"just jealous, like that, that takes"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2660.865,"endTime":2665.154,"body":"away everything else that you're feeling"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2660.865,"endTime":2665.154,"body":"like, that excuses it, like it's fine."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2665.154,"endTime":2665.964,"body":"You're just jealous."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2665.97,"endTime":2666.06,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2666.205,"endTime":2670.194,"body":"Like, wait, no, this is not the real"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2666.205,"endTime":2670.194,"body":"feeling that is coming from a real place."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2671.47,"endTime":2672.52,"body":"Jealousy is, and it may"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2672.52,"endTime":2677.109,"body":"not be exactly what I"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2672.52,"endTime":2677.109,"body":"think it is, but something is,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2677.109,"endTime":2678.43,"body":"is here that I need to address."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2678.46,"endTime":2678.609,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2678.669,"endTime":2685.72,"body":"Jealousy is a very real feeling and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2678.669,"endTime":2685.72,"body":"nobody should ever feel ashamed or"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2685.72,"endTime":2688.75,"body":"smaller because they feel jealous."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2689.41,"endTime":2696.64,"body":"Jealousy comes with the fact"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2689.41,"endTime":2696.64,"body":"that you care that you love."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2698.339,"endTime":2703.915,"body":"And if you weren't jealous, some"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2698.339,"endTime":2703.915,"body":"the degree that could be a maybe you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2703.915,"endTime":2705.504,"body":"don't really care or love that person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2705.895,"endTime":2712.345,"body":"Jealousy is just another"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2705.895,"endTime":2712.345,"body":"facet of loving somebody."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2714.024,"endTime":2716.484,"body":"Hmm hmm."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2716.964,"endTime":2720.924,"body":"I would say that's a, can be a part of"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2716.964,"endTime":2720.924,"body":"it, but there's plenty of people who don't"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2720.924,"endTime":2722.665,"body":"get really jealous when they love someone."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2722.964,"endTime":2723.475,"body":"I think."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2723.625,"endTime":2726.475,"body":"I think it is one signal."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2728.125,"endTime":2728.755,"body":"Often,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2731.125,"endTime":2737.365,"body":"often it's a signal of, um, loving"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2731.125,"endTime":2737.365,"body":"someone more than you love yourself."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2739.645,"endTime":2740.305,"body":"That was me"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2741.6,"endTime":2741.95,"body":"Uhhuh."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2743.11,"endTime":2747.205,"body":"I, and I did, I, I, I, I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2743.11,"endTime":2747.205,"body":"think I actually, I know for a fact that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2747.205,"endTime":2751.855,"body":"I loved my partner more than I love myself"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2747.205,"endTime":2751.855,"body":"as I look back and reflect everything."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2751.855,"endTime":2751.915,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2752.575,"endTime":2753.444,"body":"And."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2754.134,"endTime":2759.444,"body":"I think I actually wanted to love"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2754.134,"endTime":2759.444,"body":"the new person as much as well,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2759.774,"endTime":2761.395,"body":"more than I love myself as well."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2761.395,"endTime":2761.455,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2762.115,"endTime":2769.674,"body":"Um, and just up until recently I've"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2762.115,"endTime":2769.674,"body":"realized that, again, I know this sounds"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2769.674,"endTime":2777.384,"body":"cliche, but I really, I think people."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2777.73,"endTime":2781.54,"body":"Whether it's your mom, your dad,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2777.73,"endTime":2781.54,"body":"your partner, your husband, your"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2781.54,"endTime":2788.62,"body":"wife, your best friend, or whatever,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2781.54,"endTime":2788.62,"body":"I think people that are in your"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2788.62,"endTime":2793.24,"body":"life love you in different ways"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2788.62,"endTime":2793.24,"body":"and on different levels, right?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2793.24,"endTime":2793.33,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2794.049,"endTime":2798.37,"body":"So you have this pool of people"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2794.049,"endTime":2798.37,"body":"that love you in all these different"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2798.37,"endTime":2803.29,"body":"ways that sort of make this full"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2798.37,"endTime":2803.29,"body":"thing globe around you, right?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2805.015,"endTime":2809.335,"body":"You are the only person"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2805.015,"endTime":2809.335,"body":"that can love you yourself."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2809.335,"endTime":2812.275,"body":"In all totality, you're the only person."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2812.365,"endTime":2812.485,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2812.725,"endTime":2813.295,"body":"Me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2813.355,"endTime":2818.785,"body":"I'm the only person that I have"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2813.355,"endTime":2818.785,"body":"that will love me in all totality."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2819.895,"endTime":2820.525,"body":"Completely."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2820.53,"endTime":2820.69,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2822.325,"endTime":2823.705,"body":"Yes, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2823.705,"endTime":2824.27,"body":"A hundred percent agree."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2825.21,"endTime":2825.5,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2826.404,"endTime":2829.194,"body":"It's that, that unconditional"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2826.404,"endTime":2829.194,"body":"love we're always looking for."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2829.765,"endTime":2832.765,"body":"We are the only one who can"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2829.765,"endTime":2832.765,"body":"love us unconditionally."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2832.795,"endTime":2832.944,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2832.975,"endTime":2834.535,"body":"The good, the bad, the ugly, whatever."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2835.495,"endTime":2836.395,"body":"We get to love it all."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2837.475,"endTime":2837.685,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2838.645,"endTime":2840.055,"body":"And then that"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2838.645,"endTime":2840.055,"body":"just makes us more lovable."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2841.194,"endTime":2842.154,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2842.634,"endTime":2843.955,"body":"It's also just real hot."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2844.795,"endTime":2845.785,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2850.105,"endTime":2850.944,"body":"That's amazing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2850.944,"endTime":2851.815,"body":"That's so good."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2853.944,"endTime":2854.455,"body":"Um."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2859.24,"endTime":2863.44,"body":"If you had the chance to do"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2859.24,"endTime":2863.44,"body":"something differently in your, uh,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2863.44,"endTime":2865.12,"body":"relationship journey, what would it be?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2871.165,"endTime":2873.04,"body":"In the, in my whole life?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2873.04,"endTime":2874.96,"body":"Or just like what"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2873.04,"endTime":2874.96,"body":"happened with the throuple"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2876.7,"endTime":2877.15,"body":"whole life?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2881.165,"endTime":2881.385,"body":"Uh."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2884.035,"endTime":2889.524,"body":"I don't know if my partner's"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2884.035,"endTime":2889.524,"body":"home, but I think that, I think I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2889.524,"endTime":2891.415,"body":"would've had more sex with women."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2892.404,"endTime":2899.365,"body":"I think I miss out on having sex with"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2892.404,"endTime":2899.365,"body":"women 'cause I like, I, yeah, I love"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2899.365,"endTime":2910.735,"body":"straight porn and it's something that I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2899.365,"endTime":2910.735,"body":"fantasize about a lot and I. Cut it off so"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2910.735,"endTime":2915.715,"body":"early in my life because I just thought I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2910.735,"endTime":2915.715,"body":"had to be gay and I was gay and I didn't"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2916.015,"endTime":2919.255,"body":"really explore my sexuality with women."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2919.255,"endTime":2926.215,"body":"And I, I miss I, so that might, that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2919.255,"endTime":2926.215,"body":"chapter, that might be my next book."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2927.835,"endTime":2928.525,"body":"There you go."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2928.585,"endTime":2929.035,"body":"There you go."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2929.035,"endTime":2929.845,"body":"That's amazing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2930.055,"endTime":2933.535,"body":"You know, we did, we grew up in a"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2930.055,"endTime":2933.535,"body":"time where like, like we all know bi"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2933.535,"endTime":2937.075,"body":"erasure is a thing, but we grew up in"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2933.535,"endTime":2937.075,"body":"a time when it was like really a thing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2937.075,"endTime":2938.005,"body":"Like you had to pick"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2938.185,"endTime":2939.295,"body":"Right, exactly."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2939.865,"endTime":2940.855,"body":"You one or the other."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2940.855,"endTime":2941.185,"body":"Like, I was"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2941.185,"endTime":2943.105,"body":"in high school"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2941.185,"endTime":2943.105,"body":"knowing I was bi and then I was"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2943.105,"endTime":2944.245,"body":"like, well, I'm straight now."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2944.245,"endTime":2945.654,"body":"I'm in, I'm, I'm in love with a man."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2945.685,"endTime":2945.955,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2946.255,"endTime":2947.245,"body":"And I all, yes, I'm straight."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2947.245,"endTime":2952.225,"body":"And I also chose, 'cause you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2947.245,"endTime":2952.225,"body":"know, I came out, uh, in 1995,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2952.555,"endTime":2954.835,"body":"and again, it was before prep."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2955.6,"endTime":2961.09,"body":"HIV was very prevalent, so I also"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2955.6,"endTime":2961.09,"body":"felt that like it wasn't right for"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2961.09,"endTime":2963.31,"body":"me to sort of cross that bridge."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2963.31,"endTime":2968.35,"body":"'cause I was always afraid of"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2963.31,"endTime":2968.35,"body":"like, what if I got HIV and then"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2968.74,"endTime":2971.77,"body":"I got the woman sick, or whatever"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2968.74,"endTime":2971.77,"body":"the case may be, you know?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2971.77,"endTime":2975.22,"body":"So I was just like, I'm gonna go this way."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2975.25,"endTime":2978.61,"body":"This is the lifestyle I'm choosing"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2975.25,"endTime":2978.61,"body":"and that's what I'm gonna do."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2979.15,"endTime":2979.81,"body":"And now."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2980.23,"endTime":2982.66,"body":"It's, it's a different"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2980.23,"endTime":2982.66,"body":"ball game, you know?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2982.66,"endTime":2983.68,"body":"Prep is here."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2983.68,"endTime":2985.27,"body":"I've been on prep for many years now."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2985.45,"endTime":2986.65,"body":"It has changed my life."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2987.069,"endTime":2989.589,"body":"Like, I mean so much."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2989.589,"endTime":2992.109,"body":"I love not having to use condoms anymore."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":2992.109,"endTime":2992.529,"body":"It's like,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2996.43,"endTime":2998.859,"body":"I can't imagine that"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":2996.43,"endTime":2998.859,"body":"because I'm still fertile."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3001.95,"endTime":3002.4,"body":"Three kids."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3002.4,"endTime":3003.21,"body":"How old are your kids?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3003.21,"endTime":3003.33,"body":"I"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3003.33,"endTime":3004.47,"body":"don't want those."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3005.1,"endTime":3006.359,"body":"I have three teenagers."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3006.569,"endTime":3007.08,"body":"Oh geez."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3007.29,"endTime":3007.95,"body":"Really?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3008.865,"endTime":3011.085,"body":"You like practically a teenager yourself."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3012.525,"endTime":3012.975,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3015.015,"endTime":3016.095,"body":"You have really good skin."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3016.245,"endTime":3016.515,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3018.435,"endTime":3018.795,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3018.795,"endTime":3019.665,"body":"I'm moisturized."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3019.665,"endTime":3020.175,"body":"Yeah, you dip."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3020.39,"endTime":3023.115,"body":"Do you, do you do the mommy"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3020.39,"endTime":3023.115,"body":"dearest thing where you dip your"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3023.115,"endTime":3025.335,"body":"head in the bowl of ice water?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3025.545,"endTime":3026.625,"body":"Do you ever see mommy dearest?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3026.625,"endTime":3026.835,"body":"Oh God,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3026.835,"endTime":3026.985,"body":"no."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3026.985,"endTime":3027.675,"body":"That's too much work."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3030.65,"endTime":3032.385,"body":"I, I am really lazy."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3032.7,"endTime":3033.96,"body":"With my, with my skin."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3033.96,"endTime":3036.015,"body":"I, you know, pump, pump,"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3033.96,"endTime":3036.015,"body":"I am too good to go."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3036.115,"endTime":3036.335,"body":"And"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3036.335,"endTime":3039.06,"body":"I may be better 'cause"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3036.335,"endTime":3039.06,"body":"the desert just dries you out."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3039.06,"endTime":3043.859,"body":"And I don't, I don't put anything"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3039.06,"endTime":3043.859,"body":"on, but I sure, like, I gotta"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3043.859,"endTime":3044.7,"body":"wear that sunscreen."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3047.7,"endTime":3050.79,"body":"I'm gonna get wrinkled,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3047.7,"endTime":3050.79,"body":"real wrinkled like Robert Redford did."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3050.79,"endTime":3051.93,"body":"So I'm, I'm all good."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3051.93,"endTime":3054.54,"body":"I'm never, I'm never gonna"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3051.93,"endTime":3054.54,"body":"put anything in my face."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3054.54,"endTime":3056.19,"body":"I'm never doing fillers, none of that."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3057.96,"endTime":3060.839,"body":"Starts with guys, with guys,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3057.96,"endTime":3060.839,"body":"it starts to look weird."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3060.839,"endTime":3062.94,"body":"There's a lot of guys out here that"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3060.839,"endTime":3062.94,"body":"put all this stuff in their face"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3062.94,"endTime":3067.649,"body":"and there's, you know, it's like"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3062.94,"endTime":3067.649,"body":"they go, yeah, hey, liberal culture"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3071.91,"endTime":3072.24,"body":"shit."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3072.48,"endTime":3073.319,"body":"That's amazing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3073.919,"endTime":3077.609,"body":"Um, where can people find your book?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3078.029,"endTime":3080.04,"body":"Uh, you go, all"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3078.029,"endTime":3080.04,"body":"you gotta do is Google it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3080.04,"endTime":3080.91,"body":"It's pretty much everywhere."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3080.91,"endTime":3084.299,"body":"It's on Amazon, it's on Barnes"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3080.91,"endTime":3084.299,"body":"and no, uh, Barnes and Noble."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3084.855,"endTime":3086.115,"body":"Uh, deconstructing us."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3086.115,"endTime":3090.765,"body":"My trouble with the throuple, uh, you"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3086.115,"endTime":3090.765,"body":"could also go to my, there there is,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3090.765,"endTime":3095.625,"body":"you could also go to my Instagram,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3090.765,"endTime":3095.625,"body":"uh, j hud Golden on Instagram, and"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3095.625,"endTime":3099.975,"body":"there's a link there, but if you Google"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3095.625,"endTime":3099.975,"body":"it, it's, there's like 15 different"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3099.975,"endTime":3104.595,"body":"avenues, whether it's print or ebook"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3099.975,"endTime":3104.595,"body":"that you could, you could find it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3106.575,"endTime":3107.055,"body":"Amazing."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3107.055,"endTime":3107.265,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3107.265,"endTime":3108.975,"body":"I, like I said, I'm really enjoying it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3109.334,"endTime":3112.334,"body":"Um, I, when are you gonna"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3109.334,"endTime":3112.334,"body":"record an audio book?"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3113.49,"endTime":3114.6,"body":"Everyone"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3113.49,"endTime":3114.6,"body":"keeps asking me this."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3115.89,"endTime":3117.66,"body":"I hate listening to my voice."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3117.78,"endTime":3117.84,"body":"My"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3117.84,"endTime":3118.98,"body":"problem is this, right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3118.98,"endTime":3120.15,"body":"Like sitting down and reading."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3120.15,"endTime":3120.6,"body":"I get it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3120.6,"endTime":3121.26,"body":"I get it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3121.56,"endTime":3123.9,"body":"I hate listening to my voice."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3124.14,"endTime":3130.35,"body":"Um, if I listen back to this, I'll"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3124.14,"endTime":3130.35,"body":"probably turn it off after like a minute"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3130.35,"endTime":3132.12,"body":"'cause I just, I hate hearing my voice."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3132.12,"endTime":3136.32,"body":"So chances are I'm not gonna"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3132.12,"endTime":3136.32,"body":"record an audio book on this one."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3136.74,"endTime":3141.27,"body":"Um, but my next book,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3136.74,"endTime":3141.27,"body":"which is fiction, uh."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3141.93,"endTime":3145.17,"body":"I probably will, but I'll"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3141.93,"endTime":3145.17,"body":"probably hire something to do it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3145.47,"endTime":3149.43,"body":"I'm, I'm just, you know, I have a, I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3145.47,"endTime":3149.43,"body":"have a weird, like, I don't know, I"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3149.43,"endTime":3153.12,"body":"had, like, I had a speech impediment"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3149.43,"endTime":3153.12,"body":"when I was a kid and my, I was sent"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3153.12,"endTime":3158.97,"body":"to speech class and I did the Ws wrong"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3153.12,"endTime":3158.97,"body":"with the RS and all that kind of stuff."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3158.97,"endTime":3165.15,"body":"And I still have issues with"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3158.97,"endTime":3165.15,"body":"like, maring my words and so I,"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3165.21,"endTime":3166.8,"body":"I'm very self-conscious about it."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3167.01,"endTime":3170.13,"body":"I definitely don't want anyone"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3167.01,"endTime":3170.13,"body":"to have to listen to a whole."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3170.25,"endTime":3171.66,"body":"A whole book."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3174.54,"endTime":3175.86,"body":"No, you have a great voice."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3176.07,"endTime":3176.76,"body":"Oh, it would be lovely."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3176.82,"endTime":3177.72,"body":"I appreciate you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3177.72,"endTime":3178.41,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3180.75,"endTime":3183.18,"body":"Um, I'm gonna put all"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3180.75,"endTime":3183.18,"body":"the stuff in the show notes so"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3183.18,"endTime":3184.62,"body":"that, so that people can find you."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3185.07,"endTime":3185.7,"body":"Um, okay."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3185.7,"endTime":3186.81,"body":"I have one more question for you."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3186.81,"endTime":3186.9,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3186.9,"endTime":3188.58,"body":"And this one does not"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3186.9,"endTime":3188.58,"body":"go on the main episode."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3188.67,"endTime":3193.02,"body":"It's for my Patreon"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3188.67,"endTime":3193.02,"body":"supporters@patreon.com /notmonogamous."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3193.68,"endTime":3195.42,"body":"And this segment's called just the Tip."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3195.72,"endTime":3196.11,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3197.67,"endTime":3198.9,"body":"What is your give?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3198.9,"endTime":3201.299,"body":"Give us a, a favorite or best sex tip."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3212.58,"endTime":3214.23,"body":"Hey, it was"},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3212.58,"endTime":3214.23,"body":"so great meeting you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3214.235,"endTime":3214.365,"body":"Thanks"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3214.365,"endTime":3214.565,"body":"notes."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3214.83,"endTime":3215.88,"body":"Thank you for having me."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3215.88,"endTime":3216.766,"body":"I so appreciate you."},{"speaker":"Jeff Hudson","startTime":3217.44,"endTime":3218.279,"body":"Uh, thank you."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3218.759,"endTime":3219.12,"body":"All right."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3219.12,"endTime":3221.58,"body":"That was Jeff Hudson's just the tip."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3221.58,"endTime":3223.65,"body":"If you missed it."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3224.055,"endTime":3228.165,"body":"You can get all the juicy stuff"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3224.055,"endTime":3228.165,"body":"at patreon.com/not monogamous."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3228.735,"endTime":3232.515,"body":"And in the meantime, if you enjoyed the"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3228.735,"endTime":3232.515,"body":"episode, hit all the buttons, right?"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3232.515,"endTime":3238.545,"body":"Like, like it, review it, say"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3232.515,"endTime":3238.545,"body":"subscribe, follow whatever."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3238.545,"endTime":3241.665,"body":"Wherever you're watching this or wherever"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3238.545,"endTime":3241.665,"body":"you're listening to this, hit all the"},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3241.665,"endTime":3243.855,"body":"good buttons, but ignore the bad buttons."},{"speaker":"Ellecia","startTime":3244.335,"endTime":3244.605,"body":"Thanks."}]}