{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.57,"endTime":3.12,"body":"Why do we keep having the"},{"startTime":0.57,"endTime":3.12,"body":"same fight over and over?"},{"startTime":3.96,"endTime":6.84,"body":"If you've just asked yourself that,"},{"startTime":3.96,"endTime":6.84,"body":"if you've ever asked yourself that"},{"startTime":6.84,"endTime":11.25,"body":"question or felt like you're trapped"},{"startTime":6.84,"endTime":11.25,"body":"in this never ending loop of the same"},{"startTime":11.25,"endTime":13.2,"body":"argument, then this episode is for you."},{"startTime":14.19,"endTime":17.04,"body":"Hey friends, welcome back to"},{"startTime":14.19,"endTime":17.04,"body":"Nope, We're not monogamous."},{"startTime":17.1,"endTime":22.29,"body":"If you're feeling stuck or confused or"},{"startTime":17.1,"endTime":22.29,"body":"just over it, take a breath with me."},{"startTime":23.29,"endTime":24.22,"body":"You're not broken."},{"startTime":24.279,"endTime":25.15,"body":"You're in a pattern."},{"startTime":25.659,"endTime":27.279,"body":"And those patterns, they're sneaky."},{"startTime":27.669,"endTime":31.809,"body":"Especially in non-monogamous relationships"},{"startTime":27.669,"endTime":31.809,"body":"where your past wounds can show"},{"startTime":31.809,"endTime":34.66,"body":"up dressed as everyday conflict."},{"startTime":34.96,"endTime":35.32,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":35.65,"endTime":40.99,"body":"So today we're pulling back the curtain"},{"startTime":35.65,"endTime":40.99,"body":"on trauma loops, what they are, how"},{"startTime":40.99,"endTime":44.74,"body":"they work, and most importantly,"},{"startTime":40.99,"endTime":44.74,"body":"how you can break free from them."},{"startTime":45.48,"endTime":49.62,"body":"Because clarity isn't just"},{"startTime":45.48,"endTime":49.62,"body":"helpful, it's your way out."},{"startTime":50.62,"endTime":51.97,"body":"So let's break this down together."},{"startTime":52.97,"endTime":57.23,"body":"A trauma loop is what happens"},{"startTime":52.97,"endTime":57.23,"body":"when your old pain hijacks"},{"startTime":57.23,"endTime":58.52,"body":"the present moment, right?"},{"startTime":58.55,"endTime":61.55,"body":"It's your nervous system reacting"},{"startTime":58.55,"endTime":61.55,"body":"not just to what's happening now,"},{"startTime":61.76,"endTime":63.53,"body":"but to what happened back then."},{"startTime":64.53,"endTime":71.134,"body":"So these reactions can feel completely"},{"startTime":64.53,"endTime":71.134,"body":"overwhelming and they're confusing, right?"},{"startTime":71.134,"endTime":74.285,"body":"Because a lot of times they don't"},{"startTime":71.134,"endTime":74.285,"body":"seem to match up with the situation"},{"startTime":74.285,"endTime":76.265,"body":"that's happening, like on the surface."},{"startTime":77.39,"endTime":79.58,"body":"Like you're like, I, I don't"},{"startTime":77.39,"endTime":79.58,"body":"know how many times I've heard."},{"startTime":79.759,"endTime":81.71,"body":"I don't know why I keep reacting that way."},{"startTime":82.16,"endTime":85.58,"body":"And in non-monogamous relationships,"},{"startTime":82.16,"endTime":85.58,"body":"trauma loops tend to have like"},{"startTime":85.58,"endTime":87.56,"body":"this very specific texture."},{"startTime":87.92,"endTime":92.81,"body":"Maybe it's an unexpected wave of jealousy"},{"startTime":87.92,"endTime":92.81,"body":"when your partner gets a text from"},{"startTime":92.81,"endTime":97.28,"body":"someone else or a sudden drop in your"},{"startTime":92.81,"endTime":97.28,"body":"stomach when they leave for a date."},{"startTime":97.43,"endTime":100.009,"body":"Like your body thinks it's"},{"startTime":97.43,"endTime":100.009,"body":"gonna be left behind forever."},{"startTime":101.009,"endTime":107.37,"body":"Or maybe it's like intense emotional"},{"startTime":101.009,"endTime":107.37,"body":"shutdown when you hear about an intimate"},{"startTime":107.37,"endTime":108.87,"body":"moment they had with someone else."},{"startTime":109.87,"endTime":114.85,"body":"And so like your logical brain"},{"startTime":109.87,"endTime":114.85,"body":"might know that nothing is wrong."},{"startTime":114.97,"endTime":116.41,"body":"Like we agreed on all this."},{"startTime":116.41,"endTime":120.495,"body":"It's all good, but your body is sounding"},{"startTime":116.41,"endTime":120.495,"body":"alarm bells, and that's the trauma loop."},{"startTime":120.88,"endTime":122.829,"body":"It's overriding your logic."},{"startTime":122.829,"endTime":126.729,"body":"It pulls you into fight, flight,"},{"startTime":122.829,"endTime":126.729,"body":"freeze, or fawn before you even"},{"startTime":126.729,"endTime":127.9,"body":"realize that it's happening."},{"startTime":128.695,"endTime":130.285,"body":"So I wanna tell you about"},{"startTime":128.695,"endTime":130.285,"body":"one of my clients, Emily."},{"startTime":130.705,"endTime":136.915,"body":"Um, every time her partner made plans with"},{"startTime":130.705,"endTime":136.915,"body":"someone new, she started spiraling, right?"},{"startTime":136.915,"endTime":137.965,"body":"Her chest got tight."},{"startTime":137.965,"endTime":140.065,"body":"Her thought her thoughts were racing."},{"startTime":140.065,"endTime":142.285,"body":"She was convinced that it"},{"startTime":140.065,"endTime":142.285,"body":"meant she wasn't enough."},{"startTime":142.825,"endTime":147.115,"body":"She started picking fights and pulling"},{"startTime":142.825,"endTime":147.115,"body":"away and then blaming herself afterward."},{"startTime":147.235,"endTime":150.235,"body":"And on the outside it"},{"startTime":147.235,"endTime":150.235,"body":"looked like just jealousy."},{"startTime":150.385,"endTime":152.125,"body":"It's just jealousy, right?"},{"startTime":152.125,"endTime":153.055,"body":"But underneath."},{"startTime":153.505,"endTime":157.465,"body":"She was caught in this trauma loop that"},{"startTime":153.505,"endTime":157.465,"body":"echoed early abandonment wounds from her"},{"startTime":157.465,"endTime":162.535,"body":"childhood, and when we named it, when she"},{"startTime":157.465,"endTime":162.535,"body":"realized that this wasn't the sign that"},{"startTime":162.535,"endTime":167.365,"body":"her relationship was broken, but that"},{"startTime":162.535,"endTime":167.365,"body":"something old was literally asking to be"},{"startTime":167.365,"endTime":170.245,"body":"healed, then everything started to shift."},{"startTime":171.244,"endTime":174.544,"body":"And honestly, genuinely trauma"},{"startTime":171.244,"endTime":174.544,"body":"loops don't mean that you're broken."},{"startTime":174.755,"endTime":176.524,"body":"They mean you've been hurt."},{"startTime":176.734,"endTime":179.255,"body":"And that the moment you become"},{"startTime":176.734,"endTime":179.255,"body":"aware of the loop is the moment"},{"startTime":179.255,"endTime":182.164,"body":"you start to reclaim your"},{"startTime":179.255,"endTime":182.164,"body":"power and start making changes."},{"startTime":182.435,"endTime":188.044,"body":"Because awareness and clarity is the first"},{"startTime":182.435,"endTime":188.044,"body":"step to liberating yourself from this."},{"startTime":188.044,"endTime":191.554,"body":"You can't choose a different path"},{"startTime":188.044,"endTime":191.554,"body":"until you can see the one that"},{"startTime":191.554,"endTime":195.755,"body":"you're on, and then you can start"},{"startTime":191.554,"endTime":195.755,"body":"rewriting your story, right."},{"startTime":196.505,"endTime":199.894,"body":"So if this resonates for you,"},{"startTime":196.505,"endTime":199.894,"body":"I wanna offer you a moment"},{"startTime":199.894,"endTime":202.174,"body":"of like gentle reflection."},{"startTime":203.174,"endTime":208.885,"body":"Find a quiet space, place a hand on"},{"startTime":203.174,"endTime":208.885,"body":"your heart and ask yourself, when have"},{"startTime":208.885,"endTime":211.075,"body":"I reacted strongly in my relationship?"},{"startTime":211.104,"endTime":214.284,"body":"And then later wondered,"},{"startTime":211.104,"endTime":214.284,"body":"where did that even come from?"},{"startTime":215.454,"endTime":215.754,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":215.754,"endTime":216.774,"body":"What was the trigger?"},{"startTime":218.244,"endTime":221.124,"body":"What emotions rose up"},{"startTime":218.244,"endTime":221.124,"body":"really quickly in me?"},{"startTime":221.799,"endTime":226.359,"body":"And can you trace them back to an"},{"startTime":221.799,"endTime":226.359,"body":"earlier pain or fear or unmet need"},{"startTime":226.719,"endTime":231.399,"body":"anytime in your life, and this"},{"startTime":226.719,"endTime":231.399,"body":"isn't about judging yourself, okay?"},{"startTime":231.399,"endTime":234.939,"body":"This is about noticing what's"},{"startTime":231.399,"endTime":234.939,"body":"happening, getting curious and creating"},{"startTime":234.939,"endTime":240.009,"body":"space between your reaction, your"},{"startTime":234.939,"endTime":240.009,"body":"emotional reaction, and your truth."},{"startTime":240.339,"endTime":245.469,"body":"Because every loop that you can name is,"},{"startTime":240.339,"endTime":245.469,"body":"is a loop that you can start to untangle."},{"startTime":245.979,"endTime":249.999,"body":"And awareness of it like really"},{"startTime":245.979,"endTime":249.999,"body":"softens the grip of the subconscious."},{"startTime":249.999,"endTime":254.229,"body":"It gives you power to like pause"},{"startTime":249.999,"endTime":254.229,"body":"and reflect and choose differently,"},{"startTime":254.229,"endTime":257.89,"body":"different reactions, and you don't"},{"startTime":254.229,"endTime":257.89,"body":"have to fix everything at once."},{"startTime":257.89,"endTime":261.729,"body":"But naming your patterns is"},{"startTime":257.89,"endTime":261.729,"body":"how you start healing, and"},{"startTime":261.729,"endTime":263.469,"body":"you don't have to do it alone."},{"startTime":264.469,"endTime":269.96,"body":"So let's pause and really sit with"},{"startTime":264.469,"endTime":269.96,"body":"what this ongoing confusion and"},{"startTime":269.96,"endTime":271.46,"body":"spiraling is actually costing you."},{"startTime":271.46,"endTime":273.139,"body":"Because it's not small, right?"},{"startTime":273.139,"endTime":274.249,"body":"It drains your energy."},{"startTime":274.249,"endTime":275.78,"body":"It chips away at your joy."},{"startTime":276.02,"endTime":281.059,"body":"It keeps you on edge, and second"},{"startTime":276.02,"endTime":281.059,"body":"guessing, your every move, every argument"},{"startTime":281.059,"endTime":283.34,"body":"that circles back to the same place."},{"startTime":283.34,"endTime":286.849,"body":"You just keep having that same"},{"startTime":283.34,"endTime":286.849,"body":"argument over and over, and it's"},{"startTime":286.849,"endTime":290.449,"body":"leaving a mark and not just on your"},{"startTime":286.849,"endTime":290.449,"body":"relationship, but your sense of self."},{"startTime":291.449,"endTime":294.629,"body":"You start wondering, am I too much?"},{"startTime":295.589,"endTime":296.939,"body":"Am I too emotional?"},{"startTime":297.659,"endTime":299.009,"body":"Am I too insecure?"},{"startTime":299.624,"endTime":300.494,"body":"Am I too jealous?"},{"startTime":300.494,"endTime":301.364,"body":"Am I not enough?"},{"startTime":301.364,"endTime":303.644,"body":"Is something wrong with"},{"startTime":301.364,"endTime":303.644,"body":"me for feeling this way?"},{"startTime":303.794,"endTime":305.744,"body":"Am I just not cut out for this?"},{"startTime":305.744,"endTime":307.155,"body":"Am I wired differently?"},{"startTime":307.484,"endTime":307.814,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":307.814,"endTime":312.194,"body":"This loop that we, that you go"},{"startTime":307.814,"endTime":312.194,"body":"into starts to erode your trust in"},{"startTime":312.194,"endTime":313.664,"body":"yourself, your trust in your partner."},{"startTime":313.905,"endTime":315.194,"body":"It feels isolating."},{"startTime":315.194,"endTime":316.394,"body":"You feel unseen."},{"startTime":316.844,"endTime":317.655,"body":"It like."},{"startTime":317.669,"endTime":322.769,"body":"It has a grip on your throat, like you're"},{"startTime":317.669,"endTime":322.769,"body":"silenced by fear that if you name what's"},{"startTime":322.769,"endTime":324.839,"body":"really going on, it might push them away."},{"startTime":325.289,"endTime":328.139,"body":"But what I want you to know,"},{"startTime":325.289,"endTime":328.139,"body":"the really important thing here"},{"startTime":328.139,"endTime":329.849,"body":"is that you're not the problem."},{"startTime":329.879,"endTime":330.419,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":331.139,"endTime":332.639,"body":"We all have patterns."},{"startTime":333.209,"endTime":336.359,"body":"It's the pattern, and you have the"},{"startTime":333.209,"endTime":336.359,"body":"power to interrupt that pattern."},{"startTime":337.359,"endTime":343.999,"body":"So take a deep breath and ask yourself,"},{"startTime":337.359,"endTime":343.999,"body":"what is this cycle costing me emotionally?"},{"startTime":344.749,"endTime":348.199,"body":"What am I sacrificing in"},{"startTime":344.749,"endTime":348.199,"body":"order to stay in this loop?"},{"startTime":348.484,"endTime":351.304,"body":"In order to stay in this pattern"},{"startTime":348.484,"endTime":351.304,"body":"and let what whatever comes"},{"startTime":351.304,"endTime":353.014,"body":"up, just let it be what it is."},{"startTime":353.164,"endTime":354.964,"body":"You don't have to make"},{"startTime":353.164,"endTime":354.964,"body":"sense of it right now."},{"startTime":354.964,"endTime":356.044,"body":"You don't have to justify it."},{"startTime":356.044,"endTime":357.034,"body":"You just notice it."},{"startTime":357.094,"endTime":357.514,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":357.784,"endTime":361.984,"body":"Because sometimes even just like putting"},{"startTime":357.784,"endTime":361.984,"body":"words, just naming the weight that you've"},{"startTime":361.984,"endTime":364.354,"body":"been carrying starts to lighten that load."},{"startTime":365.354,"endTime":365.654,"body":"Alright?"},{"startTime":365.654,"endTime":367.544,"body":"So how do you break the loop?"},{"startTime":368.144,"endTime":369.434,"body":"I have one word for you."},{"startTime":370.064,"endTime":370.784,"body":"Clarity."},{"startTime":371.984,"endTime":375.464,"body":"And clarity isn't just like this"},{"startTime":371.984,"endTime":375.464,"body":"cognitive realization, right?"},{"startTime":375.674,"endTime":376.934,"body":"It's a deeper kind of knowing."},{"startTime":376.934,"endTime":380.594,"body":"It's when you stop being ruled by"},{"startTime":376.934,"endTime":380.594,"body":"your subconscious and you start"},{"startTime":380.594,"endTime":382.964,"body":"leading your life with intention."},{"startTime":383.804,"endTime":385.274,"body":"Those inner stories."},{"startTime":385.919,"endTime":387.899,"body":"The reflexive reactions."},{"startTime":388.139,"endTime":390.269,"body":"A lot of times they're"},{"startTime":388.139,"endTime":390.269,"body":"just echoes from the past."},{"startTime":390.269,"endTime":392.219,"body":"They're not conscious"},{"startTime":390.269,"endTime":392.219,"body":"choices in your present."},{"startTime":392.579,"endTime":398.189,"body":"Our brains are really cute and they"},{"startTime":392.579,"endTime":398.189,"body":"do really dumb things, and that's why"},{"startTime":398.189,"endTime":401.819,"body":"clarity matters so much because this"},{"startTime":398.189,"endTime":401.819,"body":"kind of gives you a north star to follow."},{"startTime":401.819,"endTime":403.079,"body":"It's something to guide you."},{"startTime":403.409,"endTime":407.849,"body":"And when you're in these moments of"},{"startTime":403.409,"endTime":407.849,"body":"like emotional turbulence, right?"},{"startTime":407.849,"endTime":411.059,"body":"Jealousy has a grip on you or"},{"startTime":407.849,"endTime":411.059,"body":"fears clouding your thoughts,"},{"startTime":411.359,"endTime":413.669,"body":"clarity is what keeps you anchored."},{"startTime":414.239,"endTime":414.689,"body":"It's."},{"startTime":415.334,"endTime":420.464,"body":"The, the quiet truth beneath the noise, it"},{"startTime":415.334,"endTime":420.464,"body":"reminds you who you are, what you value,"},{"startTime":420.464,"endTime":422.354,"body":"what kind of love you're here to create."},{"startTime":422.684,"endTime":426.674,"body":"And without it, your subconscious,"},{"startTime":422.684,"endTime":426.674,"body":"your primal brain's just running"},{"startTime":426.674,"endTime":430.214,"body":"the show, pulling you into these"},{"startTime":426.674,"endTime":430.214,"body":"loops of defensiveness, projection,"},{"startTime":430.214,"endTime":433.604,"body":"disconnection, uh, but with clarity."},{"startTime":434.414,"endTime":438.104,"body":"You get to reclaim your"},{"startTime":434.414,"endTime":438.104,"body":"power, your authorship."},{"startTime":438.344,"endTime":440.714,"body":"You stop operating on autopilot."},{"startTime":440.714,"endTime":443.834,"body":"You stop operating on autopilot"},{"startTime":440.714,"endTime":443.834,"body":"and start living in alignment."},{"startTime":444.834,"endTime":451.824,"body":"One client told me once I realized my"},{"startTime":444.834,"endTime":451.824,"body":"North Star was truth over having control."},{"startTime":452.244,"endTime":456.324,"body":"I was able to pause and breathe"},{"startTime":452.244,"endTime":456.324,"body":"and respond to my partner from"},{"startTime":456.324,"endTime":460.464,"body":"a place of self-respect instead"},{"startTime":456.324,"endTime":460.464,"body":"of out of panic and fear."},{"startTime":461.394,"endTime":462.864,"body":"That's huge, guys."},{"startTime":462.894,"endTime":464.814,"body":"That's the gift of clarity."},{"startTime":465.204,"endTime":468.654,"body":"It doesn't make you suppress"},{"startTime":465.204,"endTime":468.654,"body":"your emotions, it guides them."},{"startTime":468.654,"endTime":470.004,"body":"You don't have to be perfect."},{"startTime":470.004,"endTime":472.794,"body":"You just need like the"},{"startTime":470.004,"endTime":472.794,"body":"right direction to go in."},{"startTime":473.694,"endTime":476.514,"body":"Clarity helps you have"},{"startTime":473.694,"endTime":476.514,"body":"language for your needs."},{"startTime":476.514,"endTime":478.404,"body":"It creates space for compassion."},{"startTime":478.734,"endTime":483.774,"body":"It transforms your reactions"},{"startTime":478.734,"endTime":483.774,"body":"into intentional responses"},{"startTime":484.584,"endTime":486.474,"body":"and confusion into calm,"},{"startTime":487.474,"endTime":491.014,"body":"and more importantly, it reconnects"},{"startTime":487.474,"endTime":491.014,"body":"you with yourself, with the part"},{"startTime":491.014,"endTime":494.864,"body":"of you that's always known the"},{"startTime":491.014,"endTime":494.864,"body":"way you have that, I promise."},{"startTime":495.644,"endTime":498.194,"body":"So can you find clarity on your own?"},{"startTime":498.854,"endTime":500.054,"body":"Yeah, sure."},{"startTime":500.534,"endTime":507.074,"body":"Eventually, but honestly, that solo"},{"startTime":500.534,"endTime":507.074,"body":"path is slow and it's overwhelming"},{"startTime":507.074,"endTime":508.634,"body":"and it's full of blind spots."},{"startTime":508.664,"endTime":512.714,"body":"And you might spend hours like spiraling"},{"startTime":508.664,"endTime":512.714,"body":"in your head, reading advice threads,"},{"startTime":512.714,"endTime":514.304,"body":"journaling until your hand cramps."},{"startTime":514.604,"endTime":519.014,"body":"You're trying to logic your way"},{"startTime":514.604,"endTime":519.014,"body":"out of emotional quicksand, and"},{"startTime":519.014,"endTime":520.634,"body":"yet that pattern keeps repeating."},{"startTime":521.399,"endTime":521.849,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":521.879,"endTime":526.169,"body":"You keep having the same fights and"},{"startTime":521.879,"endTime":526.169,"body":"to make it even harder, most of your"},{"startTime":526.169,"endTime":527.699,"body":"friends are probably monogamous."},{"startTime":527.699,"endTime":530.969,"body":"And even though they might mean well,"},{"startTime":527.699,"endTime":530.969,"body":"their advice comes through that lens."},{"startTime":530.969,"endTime":536.369,"body":"So when you share your struggles,"},{"startTime":530.969,"endTime":536.369,"body":"you share your challenges."},{"startTime":536.369,"endTime":539.579,"body":"They say things like, oh, maybe"},{"startTime":536.369,"endTime":539.579,"body":"you're just not wired for this,"},{"startTime":539.639,"endTime":543.629,"body":"or, I could never share my"},{"startTime":539.639,"endTime":543.629,"body":"partner, either I don't blame you."},{"startTime":544.169,"endTime":547.259,"body":"And suddenly you feel like you're"},{"startTime":544.169,"endTime":547.259,"body":"even more broken, even more alone,"},{"startTime":547.259,"endTime":549.389,"body":"and like you're making really"},{"startTime":547.259,"endTime":549.389,"body":"weird choices with your life."},{"startTime":550.439,"endTime":551.699,"body":"But you're not broken."},{"startTime":551.999,"endTime":554.369,"body":"You're just unsupported"},{"startTime":555.369,"endTime":560.139,"body":"because support isn't about having"},{"startTime":555.369,"endTime":560.139,"body":"someone give you a generic answer, right?"},{"startTime":560.139,"endTime":563.654,"body":"It's about having someone who like"},{"startTime":560.139,"endTime":563.654,"body":"gets it, someone who understands"},{"startTime":563.654,"endTime":568.294,"body":"the complexity of non-monogamy and"},{"startTime":563.654,"endTime":568.294,"body":"can hold your experience without"},{"startTime":568.534,"endTime":570.854,"body":"judgment or oversimplifying it."},{"startTime":571.854,"endTime":576.175,"body":"Support is someone who helps you"},{"startTime":571.854,"endTime":576.175,"body":"connect the dots between your reactions"},{"startTime":576.175,"endTime":582.765,"body":"and your history, your programming,"},{"startTime":576.175,"endTime":582.765,"body":"your conditioning, someone who sees"},{"startTime":582.765,"endTime":587.204,"body":"the subconscious patterns that you're"},{"startTime":582.765,"endTime":587.204,"body":"swimming in, and then helps you name"},{"startTime":587.204,"endTime":589.515,"body":"them and navigate them and shift them."},{"startTime":590.515,"endTime":595.435,"body":"I've watched people transform in days,"},{"startTime":590.515,"endTime":595.435,"body":"not because they suddenly like fixed"},{"startTime":595.435,"endTime":598.915,"body":"themselves, right, because we don't"},{"startTime":595.435,"endTime":598.915,"body":"need to be fixed, but because they"},{"startTime":598.915,"endTime":604.405,"body":"were finally being held in a space"},{"startTime":598.915,"endTime":604.405,"body":"where their whole truth was welcome,"},{"startTime":604.405,"endTime":607.195,"body":"like their whole authenticity, like"},{"startTime":604.405,"endTime":607.195,"body":"what was really true at their core"},{"startTime":607.555,"endTime":609.655,"body":"and that safety, that understanding."},{"startTime":610.655,"endTime":615.725,"body":"It accelerates healing way faster"},{"startTime":610.655,"endTime":615.725,"body":"than any self-help book ever could."},{"startTime":615.965,"endTime":616.415,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":617.415,"endTime":621.42,"body":"Take Mm. Some clients of mine,"},{"startTime":617.415,"endTime":621.42,"body":"Sarah and Tom, those aren't"},{"startTime":621.579,"endTime":622.604,"body":"their real names, don't worry."},{"startTime":622.995,"endTime":626.324,"body":"Uh, they spent years in the"},{"startTime":622.995,"endTime":626.324,"body":"same jealousy spiral, right?"},{"startTime":626.324,"endTime":627.915,"body":"They were always walking on eggshells."},{"startTime":627.915,"endTime":629.954,"body":"They were blaming"},{"startTime":627.915,"endTime":629.954,"body":"themselves or each other."},{"startTime":630.194,"endTime":631.005,"body":"It's constant."},{"startTime":631.35,"endTime":633.9,"body":"Right, and their friends kept"},{"startTime":631.35,"endTime":633.9,"body":"saying, maybe you're just"},{"startTime":633.9,"endTime":635.28,"body":"not cut out for polyamory."},{"startTime":635.55,"endTime":637.53,"body":"Maybe this isn't for you."},{"startTime":638.53,"endTime":642.999,"body":"But in just one week of like really"},{"startTime":638.53,"endTime":642.999,"body":"focused coaching, they uncovered"},{"startTime":642.999,"endTime":646.27,"body":"the real wound, the thing that"},{"startTime":642.999,"endTime":646.27,"body":"was really causing all of this."},{"startTime":646.27,"endTime":650.829,"body":"And it was this deep, deep fear"},{"startTime":646.27,"endTime":650.829,"body":"of being replaceable and unseen."},{"startTime":651.829,"endTime":656.66,"body":"And they learned how to respond to"},{"startTime":651.829,"endTime":656.66,"body":"those fears with compassion and clarity,"},{"startTime":657.66,"endTime":660.149,"body":"and that's what aligned"},{"startTime":657.66,"endTime":660.149,"body":"support does, right?"},{"startTime":660.149,"endTime":662.999,"body":"It cuts through the noise,"},{"startTime":660.149,"endTime":662.999,"body":"it collapses the timeline."},{"startTime":663.359,"endTime":665.91,"body":"It gives you tools that actually work."},{"startTime":666.329,"endTime":670.349,"body":"For your relationship, not everyone"},{"startTime":666.329,"endTime":670.349,"body":"else's, for your relationship"},{"startTime":670.349,"endTime":674.819,"body":"structure, your values, your"},{"startTime":670.349,"endTime":674.819,"body":"healing path, and more importantly,"},{"startTime":675.819,"endTime":678.519,"body":"and more importantly, it reminds"},{"startTime":675.819,"endTime":678.519,"body":"you that you aren't alone."},{"startTime":678.699,"endTime":680.499,"body":"You don't have to do this alone."},{"startTime":680.859,"endTime":684.189,"body":"You aren't some weirdo standing"},{"startTime":680.859,"endTime":684.189,"body":"out in a field all by yourself,"},{"startTime":684.339,"endTime":685.809,"body":"like you don't have to do it alone."},{"startTime":685.959,"endTime":686.379,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":687.549,"endTime":690.189,"body":"And you don't have to be the"},{"startTime":687.549,"endTime":690.189,"body":"only support person for your"},{"startTime":690.189,"endTime":692.199,"body":"partner in all areas of your life."},{"startTime":693.069,"endTime":699.65,"body":"That's just as hard if you're realizing"},{"startTime":693.069,"endTime":699.65,"body":"right now that it's time for support, but"},{"startTime":699.65,"endTime":703.1,"body":"you're not sure what kind, uh, you don't"},{"startTime":699.65,"endTime":703.1,"body":"have to figure that out alone either."},{"startTime":704.1,"endTime":708.545,"body":"So I offer, uh, 30 minute clarity"},{"startTime":704.1,"endTime":708.545,"body":"chats for exactly this reason."},{"startTime":709.505,"endTime":711.185,"body":"It's a chance for us to connect."},{"startTime":711.439,"endTime":714.65,"body":"And get clear on what's coming"},{"startTime":711.439,"endTime":714.65,"body":"up for you and explore whether"},{"startTime":714.65,"endTime":716.03,"body":"working together is a right fit."},{"startTime":717.03,"endTime":721.41,"body":"So, yes, this is a sales call, but it's"},{"startTime":717.03,"endTime":721.41,"body":"not pressy, no pressure whatsoever."},{"startTime":721.62,"endTime":725.25,"body":"This is a conversation that's"},{"startTime":721.62,"endTime":725.25,"body":"rooted in honesty and respect"},{"startTime":725.55,"endTime":728.905,"body":"and your autonomy, your, your"},{"startTime":725.55,"endTime":728.905,"body":"ability to make your own choices."},{"startTime":729.18,"endTime":729.48,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":729.689,"endTime":732.87,"body":"So if, if my coaching is"},{"startTime":729.689,"endTime":732.87,"body":"aligned with what you need."},{"startTime":733.38,"endTime":733.89,"body":"Amazing."},{"startTime":734.04,"endTime":734.37,"body":"Dope."},{"startTime":734.4,"endTime":734.91,"body":"I love that."},{"startTime":734.939,"endTime":736.23,"body":"We'll talk about what's next."},{"startTime":737.23,"endTime":740.8,"body":"And if it's not, you'll still"},{"startTime":737.23,"endTime":740.8,"body":"walk away with more clarity"},{"startTime":741.8,"endTime":744.949,"body":"and and more direction than"},{"startTime":741.8,"endTime":744.949,"body":"you came into the call with."},{"startTime":745.949,"endTime":748.739,"body":"So if you've been sitting"},{"startTime":745.949,"endTime":748.739,"body":"with a quiet, like maybe."},{"startTime":749.849,"endTime":751.529,"body":"Consider this your little gentle nudge."},{"startTime":751.589,"endTime":751.829,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":751.829,"endTime":753.899,"body":"The links in the show notes,"},{"startTime":751.829,"endTime":753.899,"body":"I'd love to connect with you."},{"startTime":754.904,"endTime":758.669,"body":"Uh, you go to my website,"},{"startTime":754.904,"endTime":758.669,"body":"Ellecia payne.com/chat."},{"startTime":759.669,"endTime":759.849,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":759.849,"endTime":762.339,"body":"So let's bring it back to now,"},{"startTime":759.849,"endTime":762.339,"body":"because you're not powerless here."},{"startTime":763.339,"endTime":767.959,"body":"These patterns might feel really"},{"startTime":763.339,"endTime":767.959,"body":"overwhelming, but there's tools"},{"startTime":767.959,"endTime":768.949,"body":"you have, tools you can use."},{"startTime":768.949,"endTime":769.159,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":769.159,"endTime":773.179,"body":"Simple grounding, effective"},{"startTime":769.159,"endTime":773.179,"body":"tools that can start shifting"},{"startTime":773.179,"endTime":774.619,"body":"things today, maybe tomorrow."},{"startTime":774.889,"endTime":778.849,"body":"But like not someday in the future,"},{"startTime":774.889,"endTime":778.849,"body":"not after everything's figured out"},{"startTime":778.849,"endTime":782.479,"body":"and calmed down, but right now in"},{"startTime":778.849,"endTime":782.479,"body":"the middle of the mess, in the middle"},{"startTime":782.479,"endTime":784.399,"body":"of the whole world's mess, right?"},{"startTime":785.389,"endTime":788.869,"body":"So a couple of practical, powerful"},{"startTime":785.389,"endTime":788.869,"body":"starting points, mindfulness"},{"startTime":788.869,"endTime":792.469,"body":"practices to calm your nervous"},{"startTime":788.869,"endTime":792.469,"body":"system when the emotions flood in."},{"startTime":792.919,"endTime":796.129,"body":"And these don't have to be long or"},{"startTime":792.919,"endTime":796.129,"body":"fancy, just taking a few conscious"},{"startTime":796.129,"endTime":801.919,"body":"breaths, a grounding touch, a gentle"},{"startTime":796.129,"endTime":801.919,"body":"reminder that you're safe in this moment."},{"startTime":802.919,"endTime":806.459,"body":"Uh, compassionate communication"},{"startTime":802.919,"endTime":806.459,"body":"scripts that can help you"},{"startTime":806.459,"endTime":807.779,"body":"speak your truth without blame."},{"startTime":807.989,"endTime":811.799,"body":"So the kinda language that lets you"},{"startTime":807.989,"endTime":811.799,"body":"say what you need clearly without"},{"startTime":811.799,"endTime":813.809,"body":"burning bridges or betraying yourself."},{"startTime":814.199,"endTime":815.399,"body":"I've got a free download for that."},{"startTime":815.399,"endTime":816.509,"body":"You can find it on my website."},{"startTime":817.079,"endTime":820.649,"body":"Um, you can use reflection"},{"startTime":817.079,"endTime":820.649,"body":"prompts like the ones that"},{"startTime":820.799,"endTime":822.809,"body":"you've explored in this episode."},{"startTime":823.379,"endTime":826.529,"body":"Um, being able to reflect"},{"startTime":823.379,"endTime":826.529,"body":"helps you uncover what's living"},{"startTime":826.559,"endTime":830.009,"body":"underneath the surface of your"},{"startTime":826.559,"endTime":830.009,"body":"emotions and your reactions."},{"startTime":830.339,"endTime":835.779,"body":"Those like subconscious stories that"},{"startTime":830.339,"endTime":835.779,"body":"are, are creating those reactions and"},{"startTime":835.779,"endTime":838.629,"body":"you can find some supportive spaces"},{"startTime":835.779,"endTime":838.629,"body":"like coaching with me or someone"},{"startTime":838.629,"endTime":843.709,"body":"else, therapy community mentorship,"},{"startTime":838.629,"endTime":843.709,"body":"somewhere where your experience isn't"},{"startTime":843.709,"endTime":848.81,"body":"too much or too complicated or too"},{"startTime":843.709,"endTime":848.81,"body":"outside of the norm, somewhere that"},{"startTime":848.81,"endTime":851.54,"body":"you're not just seen, but understood."},{"startTime":852.54,"endTime":853.74,"body":"Find some community."},{"startTime":854.444,"endTime":857.504,"body":"That is, that are some non-monogamous"},{"startTime":854.444,"endTime":857.504,"body":"community or support that way."},{"startTime":858.164,"endTime":860.594,"body":"Um, because, you know, here's the thing."},{"startTime":860.594,"endTime":862.874,"body":"These tools aren't just techniques."},{"startTime":863.264,"endTime":867.014,"body":"They're not a thing that you put in your"},{"startTime":863.264,"endTime":867.014,"body":"back pocket and save up for a rainy day."},{"startTime":867.434,"endTime":869.234,"body":"Uh, these are are things to do daily."},{"startTime":869.234,"endTime":872.444,"body":"They're reconnections, they're ways to"},{"startTime":869.234,"endTime":872.444,"body":"come back to yourself, your body, your"},{"startTime":872.444,"endTime":876.764,"body":"needs to stay connected to your clarity,"},{"startTime":872.444,"endTime":876.764,"body":"to your north star, to your values."},{"startTime":877.334,"endTime":878.534,"body":"So here's what I want you to try."},{"startTime":879.794,"endTime":881.084,"body":"Choose a moment this week."},{"startTime":881.474,"endTime":886.094,"body":"Where you would normally just react"},{"startTime":881.474,"endTime":886.094,"body":"on autopilot and just slow down."},{"startTime":887.094,"endTime":892.464,"body":"And when that tension rises in your"},{"startTime":887.094,"endTime":892.464,"body":"chest, when that old feeling shows"},{"startTime":892.464,"endTime":897.124,"body":"up again, pause, take three breaths"},{"startTime":898.124,"endTime":899.444,"body":"and ask yourself."},{"startTime":899.789,"endTime":902.549,"body":"What am I actually feeling right now?"},{"startTime":902.639,"endTime":905.279,"body":"Not what am I thinking, not"},{"startTime":902.639,"endTime":905.279,"body":"what is the story I'm creating,"},{"startTime":905.279,"endTime":906.689,"body":"but what am I actually feeling?"},{"startTime":907.079,"endTime":911.039,"body":"What do I need in this moment to"},{"startTime":907.079,"endTime":911.039,"body":"feel just a little bit more grounded?"},{"startTime":912.039,"endTime":914.109,"body":"It sounds too easy, but it's not."},{"startTime":914.499,"endTime":914.919,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":915.609,"endTime":918.939,"body":"This is powerful and it's effective, and"},{"startTime":915.609,"endTime":918.939,"body":"you don't need to have a perfect answer."},{"startTime":919.209,"endTime":920.979,"body":"You don't need to like get it right."},{"startTime":921.279,"endTime":922.299,"body":"There is no getting it right."},{"startTime":922.299,"endTime":923.349,"body":"You can't fuck this up."},{"startTime":924.349,"endTime":927.499,"body":"You just like need to ask"},{"startTime":924.349,"endTime":927.499,"body":"yourself better questions."},{"startTime":928.549,"endTime":931.219,"body":"That's how you start to loosen that loop."},{"startTime":932.629,"endTime":935.809,"body":"That's how you start to create"},{"startTime":932.629,"endTime":935.809,"body":"new pathways in your brain"},{"startTime":935.809,"endTime":937.039,"body":"and in your nervous system."},{"startTime":938.024,"endTime":941.124,"body":"I, and remember, you don't"},{"startTime":938.024,"endTime":941.124,"body":"have to do this alone."},{"startTime":942.124,"endTime":945.274,"body":"The right support doesn't just"},{"startTime":942.124,"endTime":945.274,"body":"make your healing possible."},{"startTime":945.274,"endTime":950.474,"body":"It makes it sustainable,"},{"startTime":945.274,"endTime":950.474,"body":"expansive, powerful,"},{"startTime":951.474,"endTime":954.219,"body":"and you're allowed to"},{"startTime":951.474,"endTime":954.219,"body":"outgrow your patterns."},{"startTime":954.459,"endTime":958.869,"body":"You're allowed to grow"},{"startTime":954.459,"endTime":958.869,"body":"and become different and."},{"startTime":959.544,"endTime":964.134,"body":"Behave and react in new ways, to"},{"startTime":959.544,"endTime":964.134,"body":"have new thoughts, to have new ideas,"},{"startTime":964.524,"endTime":966.474,"body":"and not be stuck in that same loop."},{"startTime":966.624,"endTime":969.714,"body":"You're worthy of everything that's"},{"startTime":966.624,"endTime":969.714,"body":"waiting for you on the other side."},{"startTime":970.714,"endTime":970.804,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":971.804,"endTime":974.924,"body":"So here's what I want you to"},{"startTime":971.804,"endTime":974.924,"body":"remember as we close up this episode."},{"startTime":975.344,"endTime":976.214,"body":"You're not broken."},{"startTime":976.739,"endTime":977.819,"body":"You're not too much."},{"startTime":978.359,"endTime":979.769,"body":"You're not failing at this."},{"startTime":980.769,"endTime":981.609,"body":"You're human."},{"startTime":982.029,"endTime":983.319,"body":"You've lived through things."},{"startTime":983.709,"endTime":987.219,"body":"You've learned to protect yourself"},{"startTime":983.709,"endTime":987.219,"body":"in ways that made sense at the"},{"startTime":987.219,"endTime":993.969,"body":"time, and now those patterns are"},{"startTime":987.219,"endTime":993.969,"body":"just trying to protect you again."},{"startTime":993.969,"endTime":999.249,"body":"They're trying to be seen and understood"},{"startTime":993.969,"endTime":999.249,"body":"and are ready to be gently rewritten."},{"startTime":1000.249,"endTime":1004.749,"body":"You deserve peace, and not just"},{"startTime":1000.249,"endTime":1004.749,"body":"moments of it, but a relationship with"},{"startTime":1004.749,"endTime":1011.139,"body":"yourself and with your partners that"},{"startTime":1004.749,"endTime":1011.139,"body":"feels steady and nourishing and true."},{"startTime":1012.099,"endTime":1017.529,"body":"You deserve clarity that cuts through the"},{"startTime":1012.099,"endTime":1017.529,"body":"noise and reconnects you to your values."},{"startTime":1018.279,"endTime":1020.469,"body":"Your North star, your guiding light,"},{"startTime":1021.469,"endTime":1024.319,"body":"and you deserve support that"},{"startTime":1021.469,"endTime":1024.319,"body":"actually fits the kind of love"},{"startTime":1024.319,"endTime":1027.649,"body":"that you're building, the kind of"},{"startTime":1024.319,"endTime":1027.649,"body":"relationships that you're building."},{"startTime":1028.649,"endTime":1033.089,"body":"If this episode stirred something in"},{"startTime":1028.649,"endTime":1033.089,"body":"you, if you're ready to stop looping, if"},{"startTime":1033.089,"endTime":1038.549,"body":"you're ready to stop looping and start"},{"startTime":1033.089,"endTime":1038.549,"body":"living more fully, I'd love to invite"},{"startTime":1038.549,"endTime":1040.619,"body":"you to take one small but powerful step."},{"startTime":1040.619,"endTime":1040.949,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":1041.969,"endTime":1043.529,"body":"Book a 30 minute clarity chat with me."},{"startTime":1044.529,"endTime":1047.624,"body":"We will talk honestly about what's"},{"startTime":1044.529,"endTime":1047.624,"body":"been feeling stuck, what you're"},{"startTime":1047.624,"endTime":1050.429,"body":"craving, and whether working"},{"startTime":1047.624,"endTime":1050.429,"body":"together would be a good fit."},{"startTime":1050.529,"endTime":1055.904,"body":"No pressure, no hard sale, just a"},{"startTime":1050.529,"endTime":1055.904,"body":"spacious, supportive conversation."},{"startTime":1056.904,"endTime":1060.019,"body":"It just a spacious, supportive"},{"startTime":1056.904,"endTime":1060.019,"body":"conversation that'll help you get"},{"startTime":1060.019,"endTime":1061.819,"body":"clear on your next right step."},{"startTime":1062.819,"endTime":1065.939,"body":"You'll find the link to book in"},{"startTime":1062.819,"endTime":1065.939,"body":"the show notes, uh, or go to my"},{"startTime":1065.939,"endTime":1069.841,"body":"website, Elleciapaine.com/chat"},{"startTime":1065.939,"endTime":1069.841,"body":"Should get you there."},{"startTime":1070.841,"endTime":1072.251,"body":"I'd be honored to connect with you."},{"startTime":1073.251,"endTime":1075.321,"body":"And until next time,"},{"startTime":1073.251,"endTime":1075.321,"body":"take care of your heart."},{"startTime":1075.321,"endTime":1076.731,"body":"Take care of your partners, take care of."},{"startTime":1077.511,"endTime":1080.031,"body":"Your whole world, like really"},{"startTime":1077.511,"endTime":1080.031,"body":"be gentle with yourself."},{"startTime":1080.541,"endTime":1080.871,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":1081.591,"endTime":1082.221,"body":"You're not broken."},{"startTime":1082.251,"endTime":1083.721,"body":"You're good, I promise."},{"startTime":1084.831,"endTime":1084.951,"body":"Bye."}]}