NEW YEAR, NEW ME? | Holiday Expectations, The Epstein Files & Resolutions | The MJ38 Show #112

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Matthew and Justin talk about Expectations during the holidays, The Epstein "Files" that were recently released & New Year’s Resolutions 

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Transcript

0:11

Talking about new year. New me. Talking about life. Hell, yeah. Last part of the year. You're watching this. Christmas just happened. Hopefully you're having a good post-Christmas chill with your new shirt, new clothes, new games, new toys, new whatever, bro. Oh, yeah. And you know, you're becoming an adult or starting to shift your focus into the maturity whenever you're like an excited about in like a fridge or a washer dryer. Underpants, socks. Oh my gosh. Yes. That's I'm talking about ice maker air fryer. Oh. And the presents of Navy here. Yeah. Change. Change the way you do things. Change the schedule and cycle of your routines and patterns. Yeah. Hell yeah. In a positive manner. It's like nice. Fuck yeah. Yeah. That's what's up. So, happy post-Christmas. Happy pre new year. New year, new me. We talked to talked about it before. Alluded to it. The resolution energy that's attached with the January New Year feeling. Yes. New year, new me. That's what's going on. You know that's what's up. Yeah. Tap on it. We want that. Right. Everyone agrees to it. I was conflicted if I wanted to record this today or Friday. Just in my own heart of hearts. Because it's not. It hasn't been Christmas yet for us. Just. Just to lay it out there. I'm not a post Christmas, Matthew. Right now. I'm still in anticipation. I'm dripping in it. So I can't wait, I can't wait. I hope that you guys, there was everything you ever wanted. Some sometimes expectation makes holidays difficult. And then if a holiday isn't, if a holiday is hurting you because it's not matching your expectation. First of all that's a veiled thing that's hard to conceptualize in the moment. And then you have to evaluate whether your expectation was fair. And sometimes you have a very fair, modest, humble expectation and people are letting you down. That sucks. And sometimes you're same, same scenario, but you're letting yourself down. You're betraying yourself out of these moments of just happiness. So try to avoid those ones because you could let yourself be happy. And then sometimes you have an unrealistic expectation that you're putting a little too much. And that can happen from a very authentic, genuine, unintentional place. It's like you don't realize that this has so much weight to it that you're accidentally thinking that this holiday could make all the stress okay. That it could, really make you feel like you're that family feeling you've been missing for a while. That I could give it to you all at once again. And then maybe when that's not happening, that's a little unsettling. These are things that I've noticed in my family over the last Christmases. So I always want to make a note, you know, like, I'm sorry if this isn't, if it's a little bit rubber after Christmas or if it, the moment doesn't hit exactly how you want it to hit. But I do believe that in the before, during or aftermath of Christmas that there is a meditated moment for you somewhere to find some peace along the way, through all those feelings that you had. That's one thing that I've always, found for myself, even if I'm having a rough Christmas morning for whatever reason. I remember I went to go visit my grandma after Christmas, and I was having a rough Christmas Day, and I actually didn't want to go visit my grandma on Christmas. I wanted to sit home and, like, get the hot cocoa Tony Hawk thing going because I'm chasing the dragon. But that's like, bruh, let's go see your grandma. And I'm like, I'm having like a disruptive Christmas expectation. And I'm like, oh, that's not on the schedule. So grandma come here. That's like, you're trippin, dude. I'm sorry. Let's go now. I was like, oh, fine. And then I like in the car, obviously I'm like, okay, let's go see my grandma or whatever. We hang out with my grandma for like a couple hours, and we'd like to have the best time. And she's like 96, so she's like, out of there. But then she, like, made a joke about her being so out of there that it must be hard to talk to her. That was so funny. I almost like I died laughing. And then she was like, yes, I got it. And then that was really cool. And then, then I then like driving home. I was like, oh, how silly am I to like, get wound up for no reason? And I felt much better after that. And then my grandma passed away like couple months later. Imagine if I didn't go see my grandma. I was like, fucking weirdo. That's when your dad was being a dad, you know what I'm saying. Like course correcting. He's like not oh go do this I'm sorry bro you fuck with your dog. Yeah. You're in my story. You're like the movie I'm watching you do this thing. Yeah, 100%. It was super, right, I needed it. But anyways, that's just me saying, like, oh, you're doing this thing. I'm a pretty grounded, I love Christmas. But even for me, it can be difficult sometimes to just, like, enjoy Christmas like that. You know, there's the expectation, like you were talking about in the beginning can be hard to manage. Yeah, but as an adult, I feel like that's less of a problem because I'm more like, I just want to be with you guys. I don't need something to happen for me to be happy. I can just be with you guys and I'm happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm sorry. You know Christmas is gonna be a lot. But for the rest of the podcast I'm just going to talk about how awesome it is. Yeah. Type it up. Love it. This is really Christmas. But anyways this is the this is the freaking. This is the last one of the year, bruh. This calendar year. You know what I'm saying? Breath of fresh air. Come on, keep on pushing. Another 52. Come on, come on now. Yeah, yeah. It's, But the lawyer alluding to earlier, they also like the resolution energy is there. I think I'm I've addressed that previously in the past. And I was saying that it's always there, but like, it's just more way more present and force for thought and like on the front of your mind during this, this little swing right here from December to January, whatever that is, it's another day, same 24 hours, same 24 hours. It just keeps on passing to pass it and passing. But then it's like, what is the now from the 31st of the first, we're all like, here we go. This is another year, another chapter in our stories. Yeah, we give it extra new. There's always new coming in. But we really feel the same thing all the time. But it's not the same thing every time because you can feel different emotions within it. Yeah, from time to time based on expectation and whatever. Totally. Yeah. Maybe it's just too much to always be assigning so much weight to the new lessons, like what's going on there once every 365 or like, yeah, I can embrace the new right here. So there's another time this past for me to rewatch this show. Yeah. Yeah. We go another one. Very true. And yeah the, the idea of the of the resolution. Right. I think some people just don't take that super literally or it's like it's fun to, it's a nice thought I don't know. It's like I really try to have a resolution every year. I like you know that's a game we're playing, right. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you. So let's, let's say okay, we agree we do want to take part in that resolution thing. And then when you watch other people play with that game and then they fold within two weeks or get the gym membership and then like in February, the right time, you know, I like Whataburger, bro. They're like, you're like, oh, that's not good. That's not if I want to do it, I don't want to do that. That's embarrassing. So it's like, yeah, I really got it commit here. And then it gets to like now that was hanging out the intelligent and wise people. Now we're gonna start talking about which things are worth doing here. You know, what's committing look like what's committing and what's worth committing to because it's like, oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah. You want to commit to eating broccoli? That's one level. You commit to running a mile a day. That's a different level. You commit to running a marathon by the end of the year. It's a different level. And then also are you going to fall through. So a lot of things going on there. So you have to there's like a optimum goal of optimum difficulty of optimum growth but not too much that you won't actually do it. And it's, it's got to matter to you on a level that's deeper than just like superficial. Let's do something new right now. Yeah. It's got to feel good right now. It's got to have been a thing. Yeah, that's going to have some set, some, duration, durability like depth, longevity. Longevity. That's a great word. Well, it takes perseverance because there's longevity. But you you're you're going to be able to persevere because it has some weight to you. It matters to you. That's what I think. Like the optimum goal is somewhere along those lines. Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes like you'll try to put it all online, you're like, I'm gonna lose that weight. Like the the big monkey on my back. I'm gonna kill that. I'm like, oh, of that. Strategically, that's a rough move. It might be better to use this to kill a smaller demon to get the XP, to buy the bigger sword before you go fight the big dragon. It's like strategically, you might actually succeed if you do that. And what does that look like? It's like saying, like, I want the promotion. But the thing that I currently struggle with is just like the perception that I'm not like a super on the ball person. So I'm going to just like two things. I'll show up on time, just fucking learn how to be on time. I'll be on time. And even if I fail, just like work on being on time. And then other than that, maybe just being a little bit more, composed on my presentation of myself, like, comb my hair really well, make sure I steam my shirts, that those two things if I could not asking too much might be hard to be on time. That is asking a lot relation to ask yourself to lose 50 pounds or telling yourself I must get the promotion. It's like these are building blocks you can use to help you get something bigger that you want. That's what I recommend the spirit of the resolution. What's your, you're, you're getting, getting on to get there you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I think that the spirit of the resolution is oh I can hear this. So many people think that that's going to be the stone that slays Goliath. The spirit of resolution. And Goliath does not die to the despair of resolution. It's not that like you have to use the spirit of resolution to help build yourself up to, to take on the bigger task, because a lot of people like Kevin trying to eat the broccoli on the office now, I don't want to do it. Don't make me do it. No it's not. It's like there's there's always some kind of, like, rocky road to it or turbulent, I don't know, there's like a turbulence into it that will make a lot of people just nosedive if the goal is too big or if it matters too much to you, you're like, get excited for one day. I'm going to I'm going to do P90x every day. You're trapping and it's one time and you get slaughtered, and then you don't know how to handle the fact that you've, like, set a goal too high. You can't continue on with, you know, yeah, the version of you that has that goal has to die. And then a new version has to like, like architect his own way to a different goal. Much easier to set a reasonable goal. Yeah, that's a better. It's a better thing to do there with it. Yeah. What's your what's your playbook for, New Year's resolutions. What kind of plays do you run? How do you handle that? It always comes down to breaking into chunks. Okay. But then doing something that you could do, you know, a certain small, like where I think you talked about the beginning. The last one was like, just hard to give ourselves. There are really two parts ago, like give yourself positive emotion, like the super small wins, like clipping your toenails. Good job. Where to fucking get in their way to do the thing. You know. Okay. Okay. Yeah. But then yeah I guess you need to and always is going to come down to you. You're 24 hours. What are you doing. Within a 24 hours. And trying to architect and schedule ways around whatever your small attainable goal is? I think there's like, literally within, personal training, like smart goals. It has to be I forget what the acronym is, exactly what they'll stand for. But it's like a small and like time based and like, quantifiable a couple things, you know, like, yeah, those ideas. Yeah. Behind like a goal that would make you like do it like break into manageable components. Yeah. But, Yeah. Start small to get one super small. One of those like fasting though, too, you know. So it's the same idea as fasting. Like, it's like giving something up or doing something extra. It's like, that's what that's what fasting is. Yes. You know, that's what we're doing there. It does have similar energy to it. But I feel like the New Year's one could be more fun than a fasting one. But the fasting is usually like a vice or like food or water, and those things are hard to give up. Whereas like of New Year's, like two years ago, I just told myself, like, every time I play basketball, every time I have to pick a person to guard, I'm going to pick the scariest part, the person I least want to guard, the person I'm like, we're just not him. Like that person. Yeah. I'm to like, confidently say I'm going to guard him. And if I get my ass kicked, that's fine. But like, they'll have to remove me. I'm going to take those wraps. I'm going to take that experience. I'm not going to play afraid. I'm going to like, embrace that. Then after like a year of doing that, I was such a better defender and I wasn't afraid of anybody. So and I'm still that way now where I still look for the best player on the court and I'm just like, I'll guard him unless someone says like, you take him because he's taller, like he's faster. I can keep up with him. But I just look for the scariest dude on the court, and I'm like, nah, you're getting shut down. I'm sorry. And then, like, changed my my physiology, you know, and, I rock with that one new Year's resolution. So much, like, really changed a lot of things for me. But it wasn't like, give up the booze, you know what I'm saying? It was just something. Something that I didn't like. The way I felt when I was like, I. I'm scared to do that. Like, I don't do that for anything. And you can't do that at work where we work. You'll fall off the Cirque du Soleil fly wire. You got to jump on every grenade, every dance move. You got to be ready to me, me, me I got it, I got it, you got it, you got it got I got I got to go got it. But in basketball I'm like I don't want to guard that guy. Shut the fuck up. But it's pretty in there. Yeah. Hell yeah. So that was a good one objectively for me that. But then it's like, that's what I'm trying to say is like, sometimes it can be something kind of out there like, I'm, I'm not going to curse in traffic or okay, you know. Yeah, I've had it like flossing, you know, I've had it. That's the regimen all over the like, like two, two resolutions ago probably. That's good. That's a good one. Like nice. Yeah. Cut that shit. And I give myself like 90%. It's like you get like miss like up to 10%. You still get a you know what I'm saying. Yeah. So like if even if you mess up for like an entire month out of the year, there's like 365 days, 10%, 365 is 36. So you think you spend a month fucking up and but you still did it the rest of the time like it's, you know, that's enough. Yeah. 90 the same grades 100. It's a four point. Oh yeah. Okay. So hell yeah, it's a good deal. We celebrated 91. Got that? That guy up. He made it. Yeah, yeah. You're in the A boat. You're like, yeah. What's up doc? Oh, yeah. Violated. Everyone's nice dude. You fucking did it. So. So start small and give yourself a little bit of grace. Yeah I think, like, go for a fast, get one where, like, working out four days a week is, that's a good goal. And you can miss three days a week. It's the other thing it's like. But if you worked out four days a week, that's really great. And it could be like 30 minutes if you're just getting started. Honestly, four days, 30 minutes would be incredible for, lifestyle change. Yeah. What do you think the most commonly set resolutions are? Just like among people have weight loss. Why do you just see so many people at the gym, you know? Yeah, go to the gym is definitely a it's a trope and cliche, but it's real. I've experienced it. You know, everybody wants to have a six pack at like in their heart of hearts. I think so, yeah. But it's just like, okay. It was just like a setting, like a yes no setting. Everyone would hit. Yes. Like nobody would hit no, except for maybe like old linemen. But I still think they'd probably Donald. Yeah, that's I guess defensive linemen either way. Yeah. So with that being said, I think that there's a certain thing in there where it's like, you want to see yourself as the beautiful version of yourself that you could be. So there's always this part of yourself, like maybe gets excited, like, this year, I'm just gonna work out. You work out? I should go with you or something. You know, I don't know. Maybe, like putting money, savings account or something. That's a really good one. Fuck. Like doing something? Yeah, like $20 worth of bitcoin every week. Yeah. I'm gonna limit my fast food out, input my, like, once a week. Oh that's good. Twice a week, Max. That's really good. You say something like that. Yeah. You got to just not fold too because there's going to be a point where it's like your system's disrupted. It's like you don't have food at home because you normally go get food right now, but you're not going to go to get food right now. But then that means that there's like no food at home and then there's a fork. Do I go old neurology, old paths, fire, just get the food I fucked up. Or do you like sticking the ground I suffer tonight, this is my responsibility. I learned today. We learn. Did you learn today to buy food for the fridge? It's like. That's a little dramatic, but I just think, like, what you're doing is wiping the old habits off of your neuron firing tracks. And to do that, you need to not fire, that disrupt. Yeah, you have to disrupt them. So then like what is disrupted, it's like, that's another problem is you've now created a new firing path that says, when I get disrupted, I re fire the whole path. That one's going to take some disrupting. So I'm saying sometimes it's easier just to say like, nope, fucking nope. The old path said, we'll do anything but the old path. I'm sorry. Disrupt. Yeah, there's there's the you that disrupts you know, I'm saying that has the free will, like a step into the neural pathway and block it. Say, no, you shall not. That's dog. I will not eat this oatmeal. Greenpath seen that guy come out. Oh, is yelling at it. Yeah, in the cupboard at three inches the morning. The it's what it was like. And then I went back to playing call duty with the boys. Okay. Yeah. That's good. That's from an old podcast. Have you seen it? You know what's up. So we good. But yeah, that's that thing is real. Like you have the power to like, put put the fucking fork in the sand or whatever. You know, that's not what it's. The fucking. This is the light of the thing. Do it. The fork. Yes. What do you. You can plant the flag. This is my domain. Oh, yes. You can put the phone to this. It was tough of, I don't know where you stand. That's the truth. I'm playing the fork in the same fucking, you know, taking the road less traveled. Okay? You're the with me. You're against me. I would take. Yeah, yeah. You you you, whatever the you is that is able to disrupt the neural pathway of firing something that is more in line with a resolution or the spirit of upward aim like that is. Hopefully what we can tap into, you know. Okay, I think you should let that guy drive most of the time. Like the person that's just like has conviction for what the right things are. But it's like, yeah, well, you should say there's like a four guy and a five guy means this is like a person animating me right now with my thoughts. But then there's like, seems like there's a Yugioh version of me that knows has more wisdom than me that can give me intuition, that knows the right thing to do. Even if right now I'm like, what's the right thing to do? It's like, you know the right thing to do, dude. It's like you're Jiminy Cricket almost. Yeah, I think watching the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Fuck or down the and that thing, for Guy five, guy they're talking about the other disrupts. Yeah. That maybe he should let that guy drive. I was saying like the you can't really let the Yugo guy drive. That doesn't seem to be the nature of the game. Like, if you watch Yu-Gi-Oh! He's like a kid, like a 12 year old most of the time. Then sometimes when she gets real, he's like like his ferro forever soul that exists within him, him as an avatar. It comes out and like says, like, I'm going to take over you. You're messing with the thing that's been around for a very long time, the true me or whatever. That's like, I think that that there's something to that, the metaphor of that, alluding to the person experiencing the experience of the person watching the person experience. Experience. Yes. And the both of you. And you can like, kind of let that higher version of yourself. Control some of your neural pathways and like, let it call you. I let it watch you and try to make you do the thing that you're trying to do and you align yourself with. And if you align yourself within the fourth thing and then like, line it up with the five thing you can like, try to let that thing take over more often than not. And we we've expressed that through our life is like doing these picks and shit. I'm like, I don't really know what I'm going to pick. So I'm just going to follow the picks that I'm trying to observe and let life show me what to pick. You know, it's like, yeah, you do have to you the both, you know, you're and you gear. It's a whole thing. Yeah. The whole thing man. So this podcast about man. Yes. And the pigs are great because it's a game that lets you explore that. It's so hard to explain verbally. I felt like there was a bit of time where I was trying to explain it to you verbally, and I was like, I the words are like lost to me. And then I felt you be like, I know the Pixies like this. And I'm like, that's what Pixies like. Yes. And then now we're playing on like a different level. And even this year, if we don't like, like last week was such a I don't even want to do the math. That's pivotal. I just don't know what's going to happen if it goes south. It's all I can do is get 24. That's all I can do. Like coffee. Did dog. It's all it's ever been done. Seven minutes. All of it, man. It's all it ever will be, you know what I'm saying? But it all just comes to a head, whatever that means. But it's the same thing every time. Yep. Yeah. Like the same 24 hours. But now we're like, yeah, here we go, January. Let's go. Can do, I'ma do it. I'ma get his votes. Someone's gotta get his fucking votes. Me tell him, dude say the looks tell dude fuck them, we'll move it. That's what we're doing. Yes. And we'd love to align with that right now. But like, that thing is always fucking there. It's always just get 12. Get 12. Yeah. It's well, do you guys do the best you could do? And now, yeah, my system has changed from letting my me try to figure out what I think logically makes sense to me, trying to look at and analyze and feel out if life is calling to me in some sort of directionally. Yeah, yeah, that's good, that's good. It's life's a feeling process, and I think we use that to our advantage because, it's like these teams represent things like when I see the Broncos, there's like an offense and a defense and a special teams, and they have unique identities and personalities, current struggles and, things are phenomenal and that they excel at. And so but but like the Broncos logo is just a representation of that. And I don't necessarily understand it fully that there's a narrative going on. And then whether like how true they are to the narrative, how every week I get a more higher resolution understanding of the representation of each team. But like my capacity to understand, represent, to understand, my capacity to develop a higher resolution based on my that I have an understanding of what's going on through the narrative and what I'm seeing. That thing has gotten stronger at a level to where, like my baseline, perception of what's good and safe and powerful is more aligned with the reality when the game actually happens and we get the results than it has been in the years past, too. So that thing is really cool too, because I'm reading the slate better. So when when someone says Philly and someone says bears my actual attunement to be excited by, it is more like likely to be an actual spark. Because because I'm more attuned to what's going on, my resolution is better than it's ever been in the past. Whereas like five years ago someone says like they say something. It excites me, but it probably it might excite me for the wrong reason. But now I usually get excited for the right reason about things. So my average peak baseline is just higher that things really cool. Like we're just getting better too. Yeah, but then we use our feeling process about life to navigate like most of the time it's just like, how does that make you feel when you see it? Like when I saw Patriots, Ravens. I'm like, why is why is Baltimore the favorite? Like I know, like where I have them in my head over the last four weeks, I have a really good HD clear resolution of them. They beat the Bengals, but the Bengals are barely anybody right now like they they crapped on the Dolphins, which was cool. But I don't even know if that was going to happen. That was a trap. Yeah. It's too good to be true. And I think part of that is because the Bengals have smelled fishy since Joe Burrow came back, and then they got smashed by the Ravens. But I was like, oh, I don't even know if I buy that. And it's a divisional game. It makes it more like variance, more heavy. So yeah, the Patriots the whole time just like felt powerful. Felt solid I should have. That's what I've been trusting this whole time. But then instead I was like I've been trusting that too much. I've been thinking I know too much. It's like part of it is just like we aren't getting better at, like, having powerful feelings about true things. So that's good. We should hold on to that. I don't want to get to like, lead with my picks, but at the same time, sometimes that's all I'm willing what it's all sometimes it's a perfect blend of both of them. And then, yeah, we're fighting Vegas, which is a powerful opponent. So sometimes I just winning no matter what. Or these are just crazy. If you can also kind of benefit from that in some way or I guess some, some games that it's crazy if you read them out. And sometimes they're trying to trick most of the time. And if you see the trap. Yeah Vegas is trying to trick most of the time the average consumer. And if you're sharp that means you can read how Vegas is tricking the average consumer. But then sometimes they go for the sharps too, I think I think they came for the sharps last week. The trap is no traps, no traps here. Okay, the sharps have started to weed out the traps and the patient traps. It happens. It happened. I remember it's happened before, but either way, this is the feeling process of life. The resolution energy. January coming up. So we wild. Have any. I said we were talking about what you think is are some common resolutions and resolutions you got brewing? No, no, no resolution for the new year. I don't know, like one of the resolutions that there's just times where it's hard because I'm still feeling kind of shitty, but I would love to be like, yeah, first of the year, we'll just go back to five days in the gym a week and just run that I like. Two years ago, I was like, decided to do that heavy when we were at J Prime. And then I just like crushed a whole year of working out straight. It was sick like all the way leading up to when we went to blueprint. Pretty much like from I don't know if it was that January and then we opened up in October. November. Yeah, November it probably was. But I worked out literally like I, yeah, I guess all the way up until blueprint and then blueprint, we got cut hard because we were working our ass off so many days. Dude, it's crazy doing what you gotta do for me and you. Are we a why the hell is you trip? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take in these chances. Okay. But yeah. Working out obviously. But I don't know I'm that's not really like a thing I need to that will happen for sure. That's not like I need to use this resolution energy to fuel that fire. Probably the Bible, dude. Probably just like I've been reading. I have, like, a spiritual ritual right now where I try to sit down and it's usually like there's like a point where I could waste time, play video games, go do something, watch some YouTube. It's not relevant. Instead, I'm just like, not go sit down, read like four pages of the Bible, and then get on my knees and pray on my knees and ask for help. And then just stand up. And then, like I've read this thing that it's like when you stand up and put your hands in the air and like you're seeing like this, there's something about like the physiology of having your hands above your head that changes the blood pressure in your brain, that would allegedly allow you to, have a more spiritual consciousness in that moment. Okay. With you, different kind of brainwaves. Yeah. And so I put my hands in there and then I sing this song called I surrender. All pretty much just say, like I surrender all. And then I feel like those three things can dramatically change my day. If I do them every day. So I probably commit to doing that every day. That is fucking righteous. Yeah, yeah, that's that's really the most beneficial thing I could add to my chemistry now. Yeah, yeah. Hell, yeah. What about you? You have anything grown up? Nothing quite yet. Been really? Yeah, because we started doing the, We added the Bible whenever we were doing, like, the prayer and fasting. Because it's the same kind of thing. Because. Yeah. Six and a start, prayer and fasting in January. Because I don't really do it for lent. Right. No. Yeah. Yeah. And then like, yeah, I've been doing it for lent for a while now and like, but that thing is a Catholic idea. Just like that thing is always present. But the thing is always there from January, the resolution energy right to the 21 days prayer and fasting. And then, yeah, let like the first four months of the of the new season where it's like, okay, here we go. We get some shit rocking. But yeah, we picked up the Bible. That's why this time. So if I want to keep that going as well. But. Yeah I don't know man. I try to the entire year. No point at all nice. You know. So porn is one of those things where it can creep up on you. It's part of a demon. Yeah, yeah. Powerful. Or I should feeling sorry. Continue, please. No. It's like the fucking Epstein files came out. You seen this? I went through some of the pictures because they're fucking just so crazy. They're so eerie, bro. And then you see these people like fuckin lots of people. Yeah, man. Like you remember the ones that I saw specifically? I was like, oh, Bill gates. And yeah, I'm pretty sure it's like Bill gates. Bill Clinton for sure. And fuckin celebrities like, it was a comedian, Chris Tucker. I think it just seemed like celebrities and like, people are just like, what the fuck, man? And then sometimes they're literally like, have their arms around. Like, I mean, they have, like, the faces blurred out, but they look like 16 year old girls, you know, it's like Bill Clinton. He's like gray haired and like, it's like, bro, what the fuck, man? Makes you wonder how evil it is. Like how how sick my spirit might want to get it that, you know. It's crazy. It's crazy to think about. But I think the thing I'm referring to specifically within those files is, like, all the blacked out lines. All right, let's maybe, so it's like false information that is floating around, but I guess, like, they're out and they have a whole bunch of some of the pages are like, fully, totally. Yeah. More often than not redacted throughout the entirety of the thing. So there's a hundred black lines. Yeah. It's like, wait, what's going on out here? The easiest thing is like somewhere in the inside, just like none. They don't need to hear this, like, give them files, but don't give them anything. So they just, like, redact everything. And the other thing is other things I've seen is like, sometimes it's like compromising information about, like, government agents, like the government might have been involved at some point trying to like, do something with something. And they can't let that get out to the public because then, like the underworld would know about their the government's whatever level of involvement or intrusion they do have. I'm just like, okay. But it doesn't seem like you're fucking doing much, dude. And this guy, well, he kills himself in jail before anything happens. Of course it does, bro. You guys aren't doing anything about this, man. What are we talking about for tomorrow? It's hard. More like a show I don't want to shit on. I don't want anybody coming for our YouTube channel. Nobody come from me. But the director of the FBI looks more and more like a shill. He's not really doing are saying anything silly. I don't like it. I don't like any of it. It's, Yeah, it's a wild energy. It's crazy. It's fucking woo. And the bigger, the bigger overall. It's a good dude. Okay. The thing is, is that and I think Tulsi Gabbard agree with me. We need the Epstein list so we can start to wrap our minds around what the fuck, this government wide conspiracy for pedophilia ring is just a just a start wrapper. That's why we want it so we can understand what the hell is going on here so that we can attack the bigger problem. That's a hand which is systemic pedophilia ring. It's like we're going to bury the Epstein list. So that we never get to the problem. It's like, that's fucking crazy to me, dude. It's like how somebody's not saying like, okay, fine, keep the Epstein list. Let's open some investigations on some other shit about what's going on here. Allegedly. That's happening, too powerful of a place where there's going to kill people. Okay, now I've got a big fucking problem on our hands. Guys like this is a big fucking problem. Now, you don't. Yeah. I don't know who. I don't know how we deal with that. I don't know what we're doing as people for that or the truth or for real. But I don't know what's going to happen how it's going to look. That's always the story truthfully in Scotland. Fuck fuck. Yeah Tim Tebow is out like crazy. He's doing the thing that like, if you feel super passionately, passionately about it, you can look at Tim Tebow and you could do what he does. Start a foundation, takes a lot of money, try to work for somebody like him, but like, he's legitimately trying to help with these, trafficking rings and all that stuff. You know, crazy shit, bro. Yeah. So, Timmy T, that is the real deal. He's a real deal. Legit. Super legit. Yeah, that's a champion like that. Makes sense to me that he was like a kid who played football and then, like, always knew he had a bigger calling and then pursued, like, he's like, how do I. It's like he leveled up in what I believe would be like his Christian calling from like athlete to like minister to like superstar athlete that put eyes on Jesus too. Like continuing to fight for Jesus on and like he's like a knight in the army, bro. For real. Like lieutenant. Like he really loves bro. He ain't right. I salute that man. Well, like, that's the thing I really respect about loot that man and God's army. I'm like, bro, you you're still. You're out on horseback, bro. Like for real? Yeah. You literally. You lead the Calvary, man. Fire. Yeah. He's crazy. I'm like, praying in a church building. That's kind of like my contribution. In a work building. Somewhat. My contribution sometimes to, like, God's kingdom. Right now, I'm trying to be like, someone that it's like an example of someone who's maybe successful in their life in that way. Like, that does work. I think that's kind of like what I'm doing right now. Tim's calling his different, bro. He's like out there, hot dude. Crazy man. It creates. Yeah, yeah. Love that guy. Yeah. That's I saying that Duncan Trussell quote that he said it wasn't from him, but it was a quote that he said of somebody else, I don't even know who was exactly. But he's ten. The part of the Guardian you can touch that's kind of like the grace I'm referring to when we're talking about the keep it small, the resolution give yourself like 90%. Yeah, it's like 90% is fucking good. That's way better than zero. Yeah, yeah. And, failure is a fatal like, if you miss or even 50% fucking for six months, six months out of it. This is the dance. I mean, like like if you get three, it's okay. But like, if your aim was for, you know, like, I got to get that fourth, I want that fourth, like, don't, don't crash the whole ship because you didn't get the fourth. And don't give up that fourth day because you didn't get the fourth. It's like push yourself, you know, like persevere through have endurance like it's it's like you don't hit every dance move when the song starts. But maybe by the end of it you might find rhythm. Yeah. The dance it takes a year you know like how about you know, how well was I dancing. How well have I been dancing with this thing. I'm so I'm, I'm doing that thing. Hell yeah. I still have that mental synapse. So I'm like I've developed that mental pathway or that pattern or that recognition or that whatever I'm doing. You know, so I think the legitimate, easiest way to make sure you do it is every night before you go to bed, have some kind of account. It should have, like a whiteboard next to your bed where you really put one x on the day. Like that's a good because at least like, yeah, get a calendar. Yeah. That's an opportunity to say you'll remember. And if you didn't do it, maybe have a little time to still do it somehow maybe can be like, now go floss right now. But having that little five, five minutes of accounting before you go to bed is like, did I do the thing? For my weightlifting friends, you can write down, like, back bys. I did, you know, rows pull downs, curls, reverse curls, 20 minutes, abs, am I right? Was this. Just write that down because the journal over here is like a check. Like, that's what I'm saying. I just built a calendar to. Yeah, that's that's super simple. Keep a journal or like. Yeah, the calendar check mark. Yeah, yeah. Just like you'd have to know you're lying. You know, saying it's like if you didn't do it. Oh, if you're, you don't betray that. You're not going to do it. Yeah. What are we talking about? It's just you that's a psychopath. They don't find. They're like, yeah, fuck yeah. Fuck. Anyone who tells me I didn't do I would do it. Yeah. Did it. Oh, oh. You lose people. Sometimes you lose people. Sometimes it's stuff like that. Right. I think that's that's crazy shit. That's maturity. Like that's like level one self accountability. You know. Yeah. You're definitely more likely to just not do anything. Not check it at all. Stop checking it continually versus like checking it without doing it. Yeah I agree with that sentiment a lot. You know, if you're true and psychopaths are like, nah, I can do everything I want. It's like, wow, I don't know what we're talking about. That's crazy shit. But yeah. So just that five seconds of accountability did a little check on a person. You're going to hurt somebody. Don't fucking be that kind of person for adult like that's that's the thing. It's not. It's not just that someone's going to depend on you at some point, you know what I'm saying? It's not just that you're hurting yourself at that point. It's like there is a you do have a responsibility to try to do baseline human things. Well. Or you going lose your relationships. That's just like what I think happens in this life. You know what that you know. No, no, I mean, the resolution energy is always aimed up. It's always at the better, you know, saying what we're doing to make it better around here. Yeah, we all agree. Like we all want a better, you know, a better next future. Yeah, totally. You know what? Less shit, man. Now we'd like a better future. Yeah, we would love that one thing that I'm at. This upward aiming thing that you're talking about. Yeah, naturally, we aim up, right? It's like, Yeah, that's the thing. I think part of it's in our nature for sure. Right? I think it's because it's the ability to identify truth. And then once you have that ability to identify truth, you can either be like, accepted or rejected. You know, and it's like maybe just 1 in 1 way or the other. Yeah. I think it's I want the truth. Yeah. Even if, if you have the values. Yeah. That's okay. I'm okay. I've lost a lot in my life. I've lost a lot of fucking games. So it's okay to lose. But for someone to win online is, I don't like that. I don't even want to win on the fly. Based on the principle of what it. Well, what it will do to me in my next chapter. I'd rather lose for truth and have a chance at the championship than win for lies and have my karma be in the Upside Down, you know, there's that. But then also just systematically, like on principle, I wouldn't want to watch that happen to another kid who's fighting his heart out, watch and lose on lies. So enough of that. So what I'm saying is I genuinely want truth or fairness, justice, the right thing to happen, the fair thing to happen. Like I don't, you know, I don't want all of the I don't even like let's it's like, shotgun. I don't want a shotgun every time. It's kind of fucked up. So to feel bad about that, you know, split it. Yeah, it totally was split up some some fair because then I can, like, sleep at night just knowing we got a fair system out there. You know, anytime I'm out of the front seat, it's okay, because it's like I'm a part of a system, so that's. But then. Yeah, okay, I'm saying that, but I don't think other people are necessarily axiom eyes the same way. And to them I'm like when we're in the field of like the the competitive arena with each other. Like I almost have Travis Scott energy for them, Travis Scott, Travis Scott the way you're like, yeah, okay. Yeah. Fucking REM that made of the room then? Yeah. It's like you want to cheat, you want to lie, you want to steal, and you want the championship to. Okay, I'll see you in the backfield. Like I don't know what the. Maybe. Maybe you'll win. Maybe you're right. Maybe. But like, that's the other thing about narrative. And like, God, sorry, truth and story is like, there's a thing in a, there's a literary tool that sometimes people will use, let's say, like you get into a fight, like you get into a verbal argument and then the lady pushes the guy and he stumbles backwards, and he falls on a sword like a spike in the ground. No shit. And then he dies. That spike in the ground is a literary tool. It's like she didn't mean to kill him and he wasn't going to kill her, but like, there was a thing in place. And then there was a moment that happened in that thing that was in place. Now defines the story as it goes forward like that, God is doing that all the time in our lives. Like we're not writing our stories. These literary tools are like things are going to happen and sit and wait for us. And then we come into these situations thinking we're causing the moment. It's like, but we're not. And then the next moment is defined by the tool that God put in there to like, course correct everybody for the right thing to happen, for justice to happen. You don't get away with evil forever. You just don't compound your sins. And you can be blessed by the devil long enough to hide from the authority, but they don't get you unless you fully convert into a full vampire for full evil. The only way to run from the law. And then eventually someone will drive a wooden spike through your heart because then you can fucking just black out some documents. You see, they're fully committed to full vampires over there, right? So I'm saying. And then. Just playing somebody. Well, it's just like, it's not me, though. That's what I'm saying. It's like there is a David who is tending to sheep right now, protecting them from a lion. And he doesn't know that. That's a grand metaphor for the fact that he's going to slay Goliath. He doesn't even know. You know what I'm saying? He's not even training to do that. So I think that that's like, ultimately, we don't even have to. I'm not the main character. I don't have to sharpen anything, bro. This is super cool. That's what. So yeah, I guess ultimately the back to this is the Fortify or my podcast. I don't have to do much other than just like the write the next right thing. But yes bro new years lady you do fireworks right. Fireworks on New Year's is tighter. I've talked about this before but it's all together now. Say 3 to 1. Happy new year. Yeah. 4th of July people be lighting them off whenever. You know I'm saying I'm just like sporadically scattered throughout I guess they do fireworks shows, you know, and we love that. But New Year's Eve is its own firework show all the same time. Yeah, totally. Everyone's like, let's go for line fireworks for the next at least. 10s. Yeah, totally. Here we go. Yeah, I remember that. The thing is lit Roman candles you whenever you're a kid, Roman candles are the shit. Roman candles are that yet? That's the one where you just like. Oh, it shoots off. Yeah. It's just like a long vertical tube and just blasts off like eight shots. Yeah. And you can like a vodka bar. That's the. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. It's super fun. Yeah. It's fucking cool. I've definitely jumped over one of those before. Oh God. Yeah. Dangerous fire was dangerous but fun. Summer. Dangerous beautiful. I'm not sure if they're good for our atmosphere, but they're fun, beautiful and dangerously. Let us play with them. Who? Listen, I running back in the NFL. Chargers running back. Steelers running back. Ovens know he used to be on the things on the Broncos. Yeah I think so. He used to be on the Steelers. Bigger fucking now massive guy John badass no I like last year he was on the Steelers. Steelers last year big guy. And now he's on the running backs. Yeah that's like I don't know. He's a scare man. He's he's this is hopefully fun for the viewers because when the the podcasters can't remember the football player and I've got to figure it out, I feel like a real genius. Chargers like second round or a second string running back. Fireworks injury, a running back. I. Number one Najee Harris. Najee Harris Steelers yes it's scary but scary man I got a huge fan. Oh no I don't like it. Shook my hand. But yeah I'm saying that he could be dangerous. But we all love fireworks and we hit them shits all in the same time. New year's to celebrate the idea of the coming story. You know these two guys. Okay, I think so, yeah. Okay. Let's go. I thought he lost it. Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Let's go bro. Yeah. Nice. Nice recovery. Doug, wait, wait. Hold in there. Yeah. So he can open it for a while, but, Well, that's okay, that's fine, that's fine. Getting together for this coming story. Some people don't take it seriously. Most people don't. Whether you take it seriously or not, it's a thing that happens. And I think like discipline is just such so attached to that, you know, it's like it's fucking all the brother, you know. So here we go. Like, all right, we're doing this every day now because that's just going to fade that like makeup and glitter and shit and the fireworks that's gonna go away. It's going to be September. It's going to be the holidays. It's going to be cold. Yeah. You had to push through that last quarter, kid. Yeah. It's a lot to even get there. Yeah. You might feel good for the first quarter. Preach before halftime. You might be feeling okay the first half. The might get you in the first half maybe. Oh they're having the first if you're lucky. They're having. But yeah it's a long year. It's a long year. Yeah. Yeah. But just 30 days. Like how many days per month can you fuck up. You know what I'm saying. It's a couple of days per month or couple days per week for this. Once a week, at least for the 52 days right there. So 365 minus. Oh no. Yeah. It was what, 36. Yeah. So every other week has 26. Yeah. You could take a week a day off every other Sunday. You could and honestly probably should. It's like that's the way. Do you really sustain a diet is by giving yourself days where you like integrate the whatever would met you if you were going to crash and burn. So can you integrate a small amount of what you'd crash and burn for into, like what would be like a recharge on that Sunday and lose a little bit of the month progress to gain more sustainability year to year. It's like that's a better way to do it because I've done six months of like tight diet. And then by the end of the six months, you've got the abs, you've got the tight stomach, and then you're when I was 16, I was like, haha, I've got abs. Now let's get back to eating what I like. And then I was like, what the fuck it like, you got to learn the hard way, you know? And then some people haven't even hit that step yet, which hurts me now because I'm like, oh man, it's a lot to learn you know. But the best thing to do would be to like give yourself pizza every other Sunday. It's like it's okay to have pizza and ranch dude. Like that way you don't binge on pizza and cookies for like two months, and then it's really hard to get it all back together. And you lost a lot of progress. Yeah. It's like a sign. It was like a thing. But then after that, after that phase is just going to become the habit or like the mental pathway that you fire, you know. So whenever you're in the, in the control center of the neurons, like the, in the mind that controls the brain, you know, so whatever's getting giving you that thing, you can fucking certain. It's firing those neurons. Yeah. Whenever that shit presents itself. I'm trying to watch that. Be aware of that. What? Like what your neurons are. You're talking about whenever, like the, the crash neurons. Yeah. Or the the disrupt. You know, I'm saying because you could see yourself and you fall into the same types of patterns. Yeah. Bring the disruptor out. What what are you doing. Yeah. Or Jelly roll or like use the metaphor of like going into the pantry. He's like stop. What are you doing here. Why are you in here. That's a disrupt you know. Yeah. Who's in here. Fire that shit. Yeah yeah yeah. Because you're the thing that's watching the thing and like or whatever in the control setting. Right. And got him bro. It wasn't like the person in the pantry is the 30 year old Matthew who. Or 31 year old Matthew, who's on the diet, who hasn't had sweets in two weeks that his craving something for sure. That to me right now, definitely. Maybe I can give myself something small and then I'm also maybe I'm hungry. So let me get something healthy. And then also maybe something like rewarding, you know, or like even there's like, 100 calorie freaking yogurt cups that you flip the top into. Okay? They're like Greek yogurt cups with pretzels and dark chocolate squares. Those things are good. They're like candy, basically. So what I'm saying, like that's other things you can learn to is like sometimes like your candy doesn't have to be like Reese's peanut butter cups. Yeah. And then like, but then people will be like, oh, I got to give it up. I'm like, can like, I don't crave fried chicken anymore. Like, I like grilled chicken more than I like fried chicken for the most part. Occasionally when I'm sick, I want some greasy fried chicken. I don't know why that's really about it. Some comfort baby. Yeah. Give you some of them. They've had chicken strips, but I was sick for sure. I don't know why, but yeah, it's because it is comfort. It's like you do crave stuff that. It's like when you're stressed out, your body craves things as like a stress reliever that's happening. And if you have like if you smoke sometimes release your stress, that's really close to eating. It's like almost the same thing with your hand, literally. Yeah. That's another common probably resolution to quit smoking. Yeah, yeah. Limit it. Slow down. Stop drinking money related porn related. Jim. Related. That covers most humans. Well, there's so many things. We're all struggling with. The same things. Yeah, this is demons and there's only so many demons and yeah, resolution energy broke that shit. Keep. And it's going to be for the rest of your life. Dick. Same thing with the Bible, same thing with working out. That's like the seeing it in one way. I can see it in multiple ways. Like working out. Yeah. Because once you stop doing the thing, once you start firing those neurons, the other results are going to start happening. Like the expectation is going to or the reality is going to shift. You know, it's like, all right, well, I at least have I expect for the reality to shift. I have to like sort of do something here. Yeah, that makes sense. In January. So like I started to start doing something here. You got to keep doing something here forever because whenever you stopped and the consequences of you not doing something is going to happen. And you know, it's like, well, I can at least try to shift at the best of my ability and then try to do that the best way I can do my interpretation of whatever the truth is, you know, the next right thing to do. Yeah. And your interpretation is not going to be lee wrong. Like doing your best or if you could feel as a spirit, it's just, you know, I'm saying the Holy Spirit gives you the discernment and truth. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like I'd almost I'd be prone to believe that you didn't really make the right choice or do your best. If you're like, I did the right thing and I got screwed for it, it's like, well, that does happen sometimes, but that's okay. Then you have faith. It's a longer game than today, bro. It's a yeah, it's a generational thing bro. And it's decades, bro. Decades at a time bro. Told me today. Yeah bro. General I'm saying generational neuron firing technique that you passed on to your kids is a bigger deal than taking it out today. Yeah, yeah. For real? Yeah. Dude. Oh my gosh. Okay, I think that's a good note. To end it all, we're going to have our Patreon real quick. We got life, you got life. New year's coming up when this is out. Hopefully had a great Christmas. We love you guys. Aim up start thinking about what you're going to do and that's it. Peace. Love you guys.