TRANSFORMATION | The Butterfly Effect of Becoming Yourself | The MJ38 Show #123

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Matthew and Justin talk about entering into a “New” environment, Transforming into new seasons of life like caterpillars and butterflies & Creative personality types

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Transcript

0:11

Talking about being new. 123. Keep on pushing. But there is something going on. Whenever you are new in the sport and you have in the the hierarchy of the wolf competence expression that we're doing here, it's like, this is the narrative of that thing. Like we have this. This is our only shot. These rules are only shot at more higher order. That's very good. And then having someone new come into your spot and be like, hey, I'm trying to give me all the give me the control here. Because it takes time to develop. What is control here? Like, how does how does the future work here? And someone who's really good at predicting the scene around the corner of how the future works here and it's like, oh, there, you got this thing because they thought of this thing. They didn't even know it was going to happen. It's like, well, if someone's taking the lead on a party and they're able to establish it, well, they're like, oh, we're going to need plates or oh, we're going to need this. What's the narrative of what's happening in the story? Okay, now we're going to need this to be prepared for whenever this potentially happens. And then if it does happen we're going to do this. If it doesn't happen, I'm going to do this. So okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The person that could see the most like that the most into the future. And that's established over time, like just in any, any workplace, like you could be the most competent server in the world. But if you work at a new restaurant, you don't know where the restrooms are. You don't know how we handle certain things. You don't know what the standard is for this situation. You don't know your freedom of range of recovery. Whenever things are happen, like, do we give away? Do we give away anything? How's the how does that work? How's our slippage work whenever we do mess up, right, right. And all this is learned over time. So it could be the best, most competent person. But then if you're in a new spot, you need to adhere to the structural rule of the hierarchy. That is time based requirement. This is a time temple like you have zero experience in this temple like you have experience across all temples. So again, all temples are about the same, but there is an element to if it is truly new, you don't know what's really going on there. That's what makes it a new place. You know what I'm saying? Yes. So if you're going into a new place and you're like, overly egoic or overly expectant of certain results or certain situational outcomes, and you try to take the lead too early, it's like, nah, man needs to be socially agreed upon too. And we all kind of feel it. You know, you're a rookie, and even if you are getting the buckets, there's like a a really appreciated, much appreciated aspect of humility that we assign to that. Or like that's also necessary. Yes, that's for sure. Humility is yeah be humble. You can think about it in the NBA for sure. It's like any rookie comes on to a team. And just like it's like demanding the ball and then like, not even. And then once you have the ball, you can do several things like pass it to your teammates. But just like taking all the possessions for yourself, no matter like how good you're doing it, it's that's a disruptive behavior you know. And then you know like if it's going to work for you in the NBA like Kobe Bryant. Like there's still a little bit of what is like time what you call a time requirement. But you know you can have the kind of personality where you just like push through, push through. And if you have the time to back it up, like sure there's something to that because most people aren't very, able to have conflict, that most people are conflict avoidant. So like that's going to require conflict to like address that unless like you could just show up everybody every day, demand the rock over and over, not saying anything to you to stop. It's like how someone's going to have to have conflict with you to make you stop. The NBA is full of conflict, okay? People like that, they're not afraid to have contact. That's part of what makes them good at what they do. So it stops usually over there. Unless you're Kobe and you just keep dominating, you know? There's the aspect of being able to see around the corner and predict the future. Like that's even more profitable. Or, you know, it's like it doesn't really matter how Moses, how old Moses was, everyone was like, oh, the older people who are older than Moses, there's like this guy I can kind of see into the future, bro. This guy's got a crazy bro. Yeah, that's a that's his own thing for sure. Yeah. So I guess we're also saying that if you have been there long enough, you would have a better ability to be able to see around the corner and that we should trust that as a community and prioritize those people having the rock more. Yeah. And then even yeah, being new in a place because I remember it's funny when we mention this because it makes you think of a story that we were all there for a big party lunch or whatever, and then we're going to there's like five of us, maybe six of us, and like 50 people. And then most of the tables are set for like eight or like or seven or 6 to 8. And then there's one table set for like 13 or 14. And it was me, you and a couple of the events and then the other servers, like, yeah, I'll, I'll take the 13. And I was like, because I was like, I'll take a 13. It was like, that's like me or, you know, Matt, like, you know, one of the wolves higher, higher up in the hierarchy. I trust them to take this. 13 and then I just remember I didn't really think much of it. I was like, I would just fine. Whatever was just get them and get them out. Yeah. Which is execute when this game hit our blocks tackle on defense and we should win. Yeah, yeah. Easy money. And then during that party, that same server who was so willing to jump been like the newest in the in the building and then decides to go through this action or through this expression of, I think we should play the future like this. I think we should. This is this is the room. This is the this is the play. And then like that server ends up drenching the same customer a couple times and I seen I what if it weren't for the couple times per the couple times but the same guys crazy. That's tough. That's still about back to back. The second time would be like back to back then I did wrong. You did this vengeance of some kind like this offends you? Yeah, yeah. And then, that was just a funny moment in my story. And then I had to have him. Now it means way more or, like, has more significance. Just like the thing that we're talking about now. And then another funny, added extra depth of dimension of that story is that the second time it was still on the same guest? I was also on the same quest of retrieving said item for the guest, like I had tea in my hands or so or whatever it was. And I was on my way to complete the task, and I guess he asked both of us. Okay. And then, yeah, that's so funny. It just happens. And then boom, it happens. Then I look guilty and is in the way with the glass. Yeah, on a tray. Oh, that's funny, that's funny. Yeah. I was like, oh no. No. Like I was I did think that that happened to the first time for sure, because I just looked at I'm like, oh, sheesh. And then, yeah, me and my, my other co-hosts was to say this. And then when you told them it was a hand. Yeah. Nada. Yeah. So just a fumble. Come on doc Oklahoma City dog. Oh. Heads up. Yeah bro. That's another whole level. It's like yeah we're we're really locked in. I'm trying to be the best version of ourselves every day. So I can also see how this happens where it's like, you know, this person who is a rookie who thinks they ball hard. Most people are like, chill and it's hard to really know you by heart. You know, also, yeah, it gets, you know, there's lessons to be learned when you're young. Yeah for sure. Oh it's a it's a school of hard knocks like you're up for it for sure. You don't have wisdom. You have no wisdom. Yeah. And you think that's not a big deal. And then like, you get wisdom and you're like, oh my God. And decades worth of wisdom is a big thing. Yeah, it's a long time these 50 year old 60 year olds, I'm sure they see hallways. I don't see it, you know. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. My boss only has hopefully so much resolution. Yeah. Right. So it could be doing here. So yeah with the rookies I guess. Yeah. The thing is as a rookie I can see she's like give me responsibility. I'll take all the responsibility. And most people are like, oh I felt responsibility. Yeah you can have it. That's like not the culture that we have, which is good. So stage one is like get people to care you know. Yeah that's awesome. That's worth doing. But I can see how that personally personality arrives gets validated in enough times that it gets cemented and then becomes like what they're doing because it's like several times I've seen just people come in and be like, I want to run this bitch. And it's like, you know, they're not saying that, but they're saying like, I don't know what they're saying. I sometimes think it's just they're putting the best foot forward. They're trying hard and just want to like show that they that they care. It's like there's a if you don't carry a certain nuance with that, it's the it's dangerous. You know. Yeah I remember those things happening in that sequence you know like oh yeah I think that's what's going on there. But the perfect example of being new. Yeah. Yeah I say it's a perfect example of like if you take too much responsibility on in a place where there's too much uncertainty, you're doomed to have the matrix. Like you will make mistakes that are embarrassing. That's that's a truth. Yeah. Then you'll be less like abled and less practiced and skilled in handling whenever things don't go well as well. So you know you only handle conflict. Conflict. You're stable so many times it's like you don't really exercise that stat of like conflict. It's like, gosh, here we go. We don't have this thing. Or like this is a narrative blip in the story that's like negative reflects negatively either on me or the restaurant. Either way, I'm taking I'm taking it on the test. That's like kind of what our job is, right in times for sure. Like, I know if you never have tables that ever have anything go wrong with them, it's like, that's just butter hands. And this is butter. Just we're smooth, we're chilling. It's nice I love that. But then yeah, sometimes they're just things that are out of you. Control shipments, transportation, inventory, things just like natural or like whatever mistakes that happen from people making stuff and people not making stuff, people being people. Yeah, they'll apologize for that. Yeah. I sold something that we didn't have. It's like, oh my gosh, I had to go like, explain that there's a blip in the narrative. These things are not butter. So they're not potato butter. No matter. Yeah. That's it hurts. I mean, if it doesn't or you don't care, you're going to get better at handling it. Yes, sure. Yeah, you're making a point. But the way that you're able to act in a way to where we avoid those at all costs or avoid the unnecessary ones, for sure, and then whenever they then the random ones that do happen, you're able to handle them better. It's just more extra. Yeah. It's just one thing that you get for sure when you're do it for a long time. If you don't have, if you haven't done it for a long time, it's just experience and wisdom. Yeah. You can't have it. You can't manufacture it. No. There's just like a third. Yeah. It's just like but the, the conversation was good and effective. So I guess like trying to talk about it with that person as it's happening in real time, I guess is the right answer. You know, we're dealing with, if you have someone that's new and, like, go on to these problems, if you just talk to them directly about it, I think that's the best answer. It's just hard to know, like, how it works sometimes you just try to go on and make your money and leave, and it's like, if you're not in charge of conducting the ecosystem, you kind of just show up and you play one like, like solo player mode, and then you call up with your friends, but you don't like, right, the search and destroy rules. So then like then you're just kind of relying on how the game is structured by itself or like you're kind of relying on like the managers, I guess, in this instance to like have that conversation for you, but it's not necessarily not your job. If it's your problem that you're going through, there's probably a way for you to deal with it. That is like the most proper way to restore order. But it works. Sometimes you try and go and make your money. Leaf. Yeah. So. Oh, actually heard that. So that's the whole thing. Amen. I'm thinking about we're pretty phenomenal. Phenomenal at our job because we've been doing it for like ten years or something close to that. Definitely spent ten years like actively thinking the way we think. But then we're going to get really good at whatever we do for the next ten years. Yeah, whatever you water is going to grow for sure. Yeah, but we be growing like, oh, I'm like, what do I use this? This is like really good water on from these years long some years on. Yeah. They put that towards the end just getting better at editing, photo editing, Photoshop, photography, videography, getting better at that advertising and marketing and better at that business can better at that. Yeah for sure. That's a good part of the new stuff that we're incorporating. But been watering, working out for a long time, you know, since like, nothing, you know, just like looking at the Jim Henson or whatever. And it's like a big temple and it's like a hard, hard dragging display. I forget that sometimes. Yeah, yeah. Like I did that quest, like I've done Dragonslayer and. Yeah. So I got the room, the play chestplate whatever. Like, oh yeah, I've done that for. Oh yeah. Definitely. I'll, I'll be able to feel the perspective of someone who is just trying to go to the gym, like for the first couple times or. Yeah. This one guy, one of my homies at the gym, his name's Joseph Gomm. Joe. He's got his like his own barbecue business or he like, makes like, cooks me like brisket and stuff. Yeah, I was, I forget what it's called. I give him a proper shout out next time, but yeah, he's like, I haven't seen him go to the gym for, I would say at least like a year or so now maybe. Plus I would, I don't know, but I'm just completely guessing. But I was at your place and then, I saw him the other day, and then I guess part of the band seeing him and then hanging out or, like, I was giving him dap talking for a couple seconds, whenever, a couple minutes and engagement because he's like, probably he's lost like five, 50, 60 pounds and he's like in the 3 or 4 hundreds, I would say maybe ish. And yeah, I just, I just find for his life. Yeah, just he's going for it. You know, I'm saying like, yeah, seeing him in the gym is more motivational than seeing, like, Arnold in the gym. You know, in some aspects for him, it might be more inspiring to see Arnold than anything else where he's, you know, I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, but I for you to be in this place where. Yeah, that that moment will make me like. Well, because if they he had, like, a nice Instagram reel about it, you know, some inspiring music about how like, because at that point, you are, you're like, trying to make sure you don't get heart disease and stuff. You know, I really fighting for your life. That's hard as fuck. Just keep showing up and keep fucking. It's not easy. It can be simple, but it takes a long time to get there. If you're a rookie and playing that game, how do I incorporate this into my life? How do I incorporate this properly into my personality? Legitimately, yeah. How do I transform and how do I how do I butterfly into this thing that how it kind of there were butterflies in that thing. I was like, oh yeah, that's nice, thank god. Like going every day. Simple. Ten years to give yourself ten years. It's simple in theory, right? Go there four times a week. Simple as fuck. Simple request. But then like for some reason, it's like your behavior set doesn't let you go or you are not. It's like there's like a block there. There's like it's like it's simple. It's like we can agree. It's simple, but then like, execution doesn't happen. It's like what's happening there and it's like it's something about like you, you're what you really are trying to do is like, change your behavior or change your mind enough to be like in the place where you're making the right choices or like not making excuses, you know? And it's like that, that thing is hardest. That's like people get depressed and they're stuck like over here. And it's like to beat the depression is like, yeah, people go to like therapy and shit or anything. Some people go on anti-depressants, like just to get it back in the place where you're like executing and flowing with things that you want to do that you agree would be simple to do. It's like fucking levels and layers. It's crazy bro. But then he's in this path where you know sometimes you're like convinced or you have a moment where you can like take that and like light a fire with it, where you're like, I walked up the stairs and I ran out of breath. I need to get in shape. I'm getting in shape mode. And every day you're like, I'm getting in shape. That's cool. If you can commit to that. Sounds like he's kind of in that vibe. It's I forget what, what we brought that up in reference to. But I seen him as one motivational at that point for sure. It's like it's worth it giving this some energy and watering this you know watering him, watering this. This team was like that. I think it's tight bro. Keep doing that. Thank you. Water. And I think you got. Let's do. Yeah. Hook it there. Hook it to the point where it's more like yeah I don't know. That's what I feel like. Hook I don't know where I say, my perspective at the gyms is different than where his is, right. Yeah. And he'll get to this perspective eventually. If he, if he stays in the temple. Yeah. If you truly incorporate and make it a part of who you are and transform. Right, right. Because we all have these bodies and we all kind of take care of them. Yeah. And take care of it is a flexible term depending on person, the person to the degree that you want to and can and are willing to, but we all have to take care of it some degree for sure. You know, I yeah, wipe them cheeks. You know shower to see just being a person. Yeah, yeah. If you're a human you still have to. Yeah. Some of it. You're just picking up as you like beep boop around. Because I think we have a natural inclination to like, I don't know, like be a person, you know, and then eventually it's like gets to where it's like the same as, like freaking out because it's like you haven't showered in water, but. Or your fridge is empty eventually. Yeah, your sim is tripping and you're like, how do I do this? What do I need food in my fridge? So I have to buy food. It's like there's a lot of food here. I guess I buy enough food for like a week and you plan out your meals and then it's like. But some of that is just like as a result of going through life itself. But then some of it is like, you can sit down in a place and, realize you're taking care of yourself and then optimize those processes. But most people, I think, is there's something about like, you're just like going through life for a while before you realize you're going through life and you could, like, assess how you're doing it, you know? And being in that place is like the same perspective as the guy in the gym who just, like, barely got there. So, like, I have to remember what it's like to think like that and eventually have to think like this. That kind of ties into the wisdom thing we're talking about too. But there's something sweet about bourbon because now we're like, you gotta take care of yourself man. Come on. What are you doing. Because they're like, I don't know. I've figured it out. This thing's crazy. But I guess that's sweet. Sweet for sure. A level of grace to the to the new, to the immature part of us that we all had to grow through. Right? Right. Well, just babies, and then we kids, and then we teens. And then we get a girthy ten couple of years of development between the 20s, the 30s, the 30s and 40s. Those are two, I think, big ones. Yeah. I'm just saying, yeah. Going from being boop into hopefully you're trying to are starting to get some awareness and be able to analyze and. Put the put the brain on some more upward striving conscious and subconscious thoughts. Hopefully we're doing that and you get some years to do that. We develop as people for sure between the 20s and the 40s. It's like it's whenever you're a kid, you're kind of like a kid for a while, and then you're like a teenager for a while. But then whenever you like, become an adult, like 18 to 20, 21, around the time when you're like adult social, like societally or, you know, we're like, now you start to, like, hopefully become your own thing now. Yeah. You know. Yeah, pay your own rent. You can vote for you want you can buy alcohol when you want. Be careful with that. You can separate from even the the child part or like, hey, you can be born again. As far as like having a a new outlook on life because whenever you're it's all still the same thing. You're all still you are the same person literally that you were whenever you were a kid. But like, you can do the mental jujitsu to become a new person and then transform into a new thing that does, that does these certain things that has executed and implemented the thought patterns that are necessary to make the behavior adhere to the behavior consistently. And doing these things. It's like going from person to who does not work out to a person who works out like that's what we're doing. We're going from whatever mental synapses we had fired and habits we had established through our behaviors in the motions that those behaviors create, and then our response to those motions that the behaviors are creating, and then making those cycles like, you can change that, but it takes the mental jujitsu power and decades to do it in your willpower. But whenever it is done like it is like a legitimate transformation, like you are not that same thing anymore. It's like, I don't think I could ever go back to like, not working out, you know, say like it's like an old, old, old, smaller shell of my lobster or like of a a caterpillar in the past, past, past, past, past life. It's like if you are the butterfly or like the caterpillar, caterpillar, it's the butterfly. And then. But that that's a continuous process. And then maybe from butterfly to new caterpillar and then from new caterpillar to new butterfly and therefore butterfly, the new caterpillar, it's the same process where it's just like teared up incrementally. And then you become that thing legitimately. At some point you're like, oh yeah, I just I go to the gym like that's that's like what I do. Oh, I'm a runner now. I run like all the time as I run marathons. I don't know where or whatever I say, I do this thing or I don't do this thing now, like I don't smoke anymore or I don't watch porn, I don't drink anymore. Or it's like I'm becoming a new thing. I'm transforming away from that. So those thought patterns that are this is the tangible result of following thought patterns that exist in the abstract realm. You know, I'm saying it's like I'm able to maneuver that abstract realm better now as this whatever I am now, I have a better access and better control or better execution adherence, obedience. I can be I can be obedient to the thoughts that I deem proper and necessary and worth it. And then that typically would result in whatever then you could deem, if that's worth it, then say, okay, yeah, this is worth it. I'm gonna keep on fire on these neurons up here. If you find these battles or the way I the way I conceptualize these things. So it's awesome to see him like I going through that the early stages and like we're all doing that with like everything, you know, with everything. And to do it with the health aspect of your life, that's a big one. That's awesome. Yeah. First fact it's it's always up there. Yeah. It moves you. You're you're like, you'll be watching it. You're like, I'm moved right now. This is moving. And then like that, it's good to be aware of when you're moved and then evaluate what what is happening there. That's making me feel some. So I'll be like, I'll make you feel some. Like I say that as like, make you feel some. Yeah. Like somebody to tell me something and we're talking about it. I'll be like, hey, if it makes you feel something like that means something, you know what I'm saying? There's like, we see billions of shit every day, but we don't always feel like, whoa, you know, significant. Yeah. Yeah, that was significant. Yeah, that was super meaningful. Yeah. You got to like, you got to hold that. You know, you got to like, decipher. You got to be the oracle of yourself and be like, what did that mean? And then discern, like, am I imagining this? Or like, is this truly like what I'm reading here too? Yeah. Like the the motif in my life of like the butterfly lately. And I've been thinking about this since like the onboarding and then like the idea of the restaurant and I talking about the migration, talking about the Mariposa, whatever. I'm just like, this is crazy, this is crazy. And then to like, put that away and then to have it reoccur. This last day was like seeing the seeing the sign, the butterfly on the in the TV show. And then today I was coming up and then I saw the San Antonio Zoo, kind of like a ad they have on a side of a parking garage. And then there's butterflies on it. Never noticed until today. Drive by it. All the time I've been, I've driven by that literally hundreds of times in the last like year. So yeah, you know, I'm saying dozens at least. So it's presented itself as like significant. Yes, it is that that is the third one. I did say if it was a third one, I probably significant I 1 or 2. You can like one. You definitely brush it off. And then two is like okay, I'm noticing, you know, but then at three you're like, okay, this is the whole like a come on now, this is, I think, more than just like a random thing. Yeah, I've seen that today. And that's also my threshold for this is not random. That's like it didn't happen or it didn't happen all in the same day. So it doesn't count. Yeah. Right. Or whatever. It's not that significant. Right. And then I get here. Then you're telling me about this the monarch thing on this advertiser. And I was like, okay, that's inarguable. That's for like three is enough and four is like, oh, okay, that's good, that's good. That's the fourth wall breaking. That's so funny. I feel like I was supposed to tell you that. Or like help you have that one because it hit, oh for sure, I did. I put it away. I was like, nice. Not like this is if it makes you feel so like I feel so Mr. Krabs. Are you feeling it, Mr. Krabs? That's the thing too, is like, I will do that to you. Yeah, maybe I'm tripping. No, but then following that, you are? Yeah. There's also something I could be like. Oh, I'd be crying. I'd be crying from joy. It's like, okay. Yeah, that's, that's a that's like some good, like skit. The same people that have schizophrenia for sure. Oh, yeah. The same thing is happening where it's like significance. It's like meaning like and then the or when they derive oracle their meaning, a lot of times it's just like paranoia. So it's like it wasn't significant and you took it to make paranoia out of it. That's kind of like what's happening to them. So then sometimes with the people, I'll be like, you know, like if you're two into seeing triple numbers all the time or like, if it, like it consumes a part of you. And also it's like, do you have tangible to, like, support what that would have meant or like, was there already placement like you said, you start like four times before it made you feel like, yo, I'm trippin right now. I could definitely touch this. And this is like, this is real. Like I feel this. Yeah. Does it feel like DMT? That's another thing is like, do you know that feeling in your spine where you're like, maybe I'm tripping. Do something. Oh, yeah. Okay, I accept this. Yeah. That's different. Dude. It's like the song is also like, sometimes it's like I literally say something and then the song says it, like, right after me while I have that DMT feeling, and I'm just like, dude, I'm out of here right now. I'm out of here. I'm in the atmosphere guy. Yeah, that feels crazy, man. Like, yeah, that's the the coincidental nature of life. You're you're observation of the coincidence in life, people will call God talking to them. What are what's inciting, what's what's colliding, right? Yeah. Like the fourth wall or the extra abstract dimension that exists outside of this tangible result. And maybe that abstract dimension. Facts, facts you had to be careful of the of just like coincidence itself. Posing as significance but like the discernment because because that'll get you. That'll lead you down to something that might not be good. Or you may gamble chips into something thinking you have to read. And then you didn't have the read and you bust and you're going to lose those chips. Whatever that looks like manifest in your matrix is it's not good regardless. You know, I'm saying it's definitely Overcome rebel for sure. So it's being new and not being gracious, but like all these things are over comfortable. But there's something worthy about like playing your best game, getting a better out, the best outcome you know. But also yeah it's that it's like it's, it's hard not to want to use it as a guiding force. That's another thing that I feel like you're feeling when you're feeling these butterflies too. Some kind of like we're all trying to figure out where to go. That's some kind of compass. It's like, yeah that's valuable as hell. Yeah I think people I think life is average for everyone. And and if you start to look for it it's you gotta be careful because then we see it like schizophrenic or whatever, you know. Yeah. Lose lose lose lose your source. Develop discernment. That was the thing that you said that stuck out to me because that's the most important thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's what the word discernment had to have discernment like literally that. Right there and then I derive out to whatever you guys say. I'm like discernment. But like the place I have like bought into is like that right there. Just that's also what I'm trying to describe, what I'm like, how do you know if it's guy talking to you or the devil talking to you? It's like, because it could be like developing schizophrenia and the devil could just be using like the language of God, which is coincidence to like, drive you down the wrong paths, especially if, it's like negative in nature. Like if you think like that's the second time that person looked at me like that. Maybe that they are talking shit about me or like, you know, I that's the third time I saw a goblin on TV. I don't want to go outside today. So, like, that's you can fuck you up. But then if it's like, positive in nature, I think that's something else. Like discernment can help you figure out to you know. Yeah. We we talked on it I think last time. But then being able to hear God's voice that's, that's what develops you discernment. Yeah totally. Yeah totally. And these things happen for you right. Like you learn like you know the sound of God's voice like nobody knows your voice. You have to like, study voices to figure that out with you. So I think the same thing with us, with God, it's like we don't have to, like, think too hard on it. So, like, just just listen to that spirit is are you knows what's right. So like we're all we all know the frequency. We should be playing it. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like you can ask it like directly. You know what I'm saying is, like, I felt that whenever I was, I actually get my, my tattoo here in a couple weeks. By next month, nothing changes. Okay. Nice. And I was thinking about, like it's logistically best to do it, whatever. And then based on the availability that you had and then I was like Wednesday or Thursday, Wednesday or Thursday, Wednesday or Thursday or like try to project forward. I was like, how would my week look if I do this, if I do this one or the other, like, you know, just like simple, what should I do this thing? And like these are two different realities here. Hold on, man, I can't it's like it's like, give nothing to this. Yeah, maybe that's just me. No, but it's I was like, okay, Wednesday or Thursday. And then I just felt myself alley-oop to God be like, just film. Like, which one is like the most proper path? Like, I don't really care. Doesn't matter to me. And that's why whatever you think is is the most proper path. Like inform me, nudge me in that direction. And I just like Wednesday. I was like, okay, Wednesday it is. Yeah, that's big, you know? So yeah, that's big. You people be like, I wish that it happen for me again because then you can be still in if you still the self enough to like get the message of if, if it is that simple. And then it was like an asset, like a super, super big decision per se. Yeah. I feel like that idea can extrapolate out to the wider, you know, more meaningful, impactful, magnified situations. I was like, what's the right thing to do here? I think a lot of times people, because that's also like a developed wisdom within going to the church temple for long enough to get in church experience to like, know that. But the people that have never been to the church temple are like, some people say you call it the assumed like videos where the study is like calls out to God to like make it lightning. And God is like, boom, you know, big lightning strikes. And I seen this. There's just times that I've seen just like maybe 3 or 4 videos in my life where someone would be, like testing God. And then it's just like something insane happens right then. And then so I feel like that does happen sometimes where someone's like, legitimately trying to talk to God, even if it's like as a joke or like as a plea to discover if he's real or not. And they'll be like, boom, like I'm real. It's like, yo, he'd be doing that for sure. But then, the other side is like, I think sometimes we're just like, if you ever, like, have that signal at the gym. And it's like, I'm trying to, like, change my playlist or I'm trying to, like, do something online. Look at my email. I'm probably make a phone call and it's like, can someone like a dead zone? I think sometimes, like spiritually we're in a dead zone and then you just don't have signal, right now. But you can like migrate yourself into a place where you have a better signal. And then, like, I think you'll be able to hear God's voice more or like, you kind of knew that would happen more, or you are hoping or like the Aliyu felt like it was the right play. And so what did you assume someone was coming to dunk that on some level. And then it was there for you you know. Yeah. And it's not always going to be there all the time. Super obviously. You know. But I knew it was, it was a move. It was a move you could do. But yeah because I guess you can use the same move and would I feel any particular inclination. But yeah maybe I better signal at the moment. Yeah. Yeah I think we looked at it last time. See where it's like now it's on, you see. What do you want to do. Oh yeah. What do you think is the right decision. And it doesn't matter what you make because guys I think I can make it perfect anyway. But he gives you the shot when you have the bad service. Like, you kind of have to take that shot. Definitely. Definitely. But then. Yeah, but if you have to get service like Wednesday or Thursday anyway. Wednesday. Okay. Let's go. Yeah that's fine. I don't really care either way. Yeah. It's cool. That's the most proper path here. And we pray like for God's will on heaven to be done or to be done on earth as it is in heaven. It's like, whoa, what does that mean? It's like, we want God's will to happen here. Like you're praying for that, but then you can literally be like, for your will is like Wednesday or Thursday better? What do you what works with their schedule? You know, what do you. Say? Yeah. So that's that's good. That's that's nice. That's the way you should approach decisions. Right. It's like especially if you're like, there isn't a logical reason for me to pick X or Y. There's something you want to do here. What sort of. Yeah. What's the best thing here? How did you get the design for the tattoo? A day for the train to go for extended. Well, I gave him kind of just like position placement. And then I just one of these, like, a half sleeve on the right arm and only these, it's like pretty much the statue of David. But then, I'm not sure exactly the size and composition he's going to try to do that. Makes it best fit and flow on the arm. And I'm saying, but maybe for like, the chest up or the waist up David. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Got it. He's got a weenie sculpted on him. Yeah. You don't really want that on my own. I still see David looking at a statue of himself is a pretty good job. You like it, right? He's like, yeah, it's very realistic. You want to take it? Some creative liberties like yours is spot on. Dude, look at the size of my hands. Okay, so I'm going to say. Yeah. So, I was thinking maybe it would be more like, I don't really do the whole thing, so I think it's going to go on, like your back or your, like, maybe a rib cage or something that's like, you know, how it was tight in the full sleeves. It's just a lot. You can't do it all at once, really. But just, like, wrapping it around, like you're gonna do like David right here maybe. Or what's your placement position? I like the shoulder. Like the bicep. Yeah. So, like, then down here, and then you're getting stuff wrapped around on this side to maybe one day. Okay, okay. I thought you said when you said half sleeve. I thought you had it like, oh, no, you guys, it worked it out. And, this is just like the front part. Well, I know what they got to do. This one. He was like, I had this part figured out right here, but then I didn't have this stuff figured out. And then he was like, well, you need to pick like 4 or 5, like smaller tattoos or like 1 or 2 tattoos like that. I can give you I can give you tattoo right here. And then I could put stuff around it and then do like another tattoo here, another one here, and then I'll put stuff around it. So that's kind of how he was suggesting we build the sleeve is like pick like some bigger images and then he'll fill it in with like, you know, like you could do like vines or sky or water or I don't know what the fuck you whatever your touches are about, you know, I'm saying. Yeah. So I was thinking you had planned that out too. I was like, do you play? Oh, that's hard. It's a lot. That's a lot. That's sick though, dude. That's fucking sick, bro. You're going to end up bro. You're like dogs looking like freaking young. Justin. What? I was some parkour. The of Christ. Yeah, sick I do the Christ sets. I'm so about it. It's crazy if I have a conversation with my dad about like, what's really. Yeah. And he. Well, he is like once wanted tattoos but then was not scared. But like, apprehensive, disinclined maybe to get the tattoos. Okay. And then he was assigning his number one reason to like worthiness. I think he was more disinclined because it's like a lot, you know. But then we were just addressing like the worthiness part. And it's pretty much just like family or Jesus or like the only things if you're going to be very like conservative, like ultra conservative about it, it's one of the only things that are like tier one bracket worthiness. Also because he does he's a boomer or. No no no sorry. He's what is it Gen Y Gen X. No. Again. No no no we're Gen X now. We're millennials I think I don't know I know who talk about not the boomers. So under them. Yeah I think it's a nice. Yeah. He they're much more conservative with like you you have when you get a job, if you have any tattoos, it's going to be like a conversation like, oh, this is for my daughter. It's like, oh, cool. Yeah. That's cool. We support that kind of tattoo. It's like I used to be in a biker gang. It's like, we appreciate you interviewing with us. Thank you so much. Do you want to water for the road? So you think it's hot out there? You. It's cold world. I say it, it's like that. It's really not like that so much anymore. But not even close. His generation definitely views it more like that, for sure. So he's also remember the church. Subtle thing. But I think tattoos are dope. Oh no. Yeah, I'm right at the pulling the trigger point of getting the tattoos of the ladybugs. But then I'm just like a little bit nervous working in the restaurant with, with like, a face tattoo. Because the third one that I want to, like on my neck, right below my ear. And it's going to be dope. It is dope. People will think it's dope, but it's also a tattoo on my face from my head. And your neck. Yeah, he's that neck tats. This is part of me that's like I'm a rapper. Like I do things outside of the lines. I'm an ultra creative type care. I don't care. Yeah. It's like also it's like, just because I don't care attitude isn't good. But but you need ultra creative types at the top and they have to not care. And you need that. And I'm not saying that you need me. I like the Jordison piercing meme where he's like, I think he that you think that I need you, but in reality it's you that needs me. So how about I stop doing what you need me to do and we'll see how that goes for you? It's like, yo, I just I don't feel like that. But that is how it is with, like the ultra like Steve Jobs, ultra creative. It's like, do not want Steve Jobs. No, he wants Steve Jobs promise. Apple would not be Apple without Steve Jobs. Yeah a certain level of. The idea of pushing the limits but more accurately or more like. More tangibly presented as it's going against the rules, whatever the rules are, whether there's actual rules or just implied rules upon social agreement, you know, going against the rules or like push and try to step outside of the box of those rules. Right? Or. Yeah, the thought patterns that create them out of creative type can't help but explore that. Like you could also still play within the rules, but you're still exploring that at the same time. Harry Potter played in the rules, but same time he like disobeyed them when it was not the optimized. Yeah decision. It's like if you make music we all play by the music rules, you know, like there's fours and sixteens and 30 twos and bridges and hooks and verses and it has a rhyme to some degree. And like there are rules that we all adhere to. But then within that it's like, okay, well, how can I bend these, step outside of these, reorganize my thoughts about these rules to have a different output, you know, saying, yeah. And then when when someone does it in a way that's really, tasteful or like or like, oh, that was I love that. So that's, that's the thing with these ultra and artists are usually ultra creative types and it's like that. And then the game that they play within each other is who's going to tastefully bend the rules to create higher order, in a way that is going to make everybody say, wow, I'm tickled as I tattoo so dope. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a problem. It touches the Jesus of the dope. IStock I agree with you. And then you're an ultra creative type. So there are people who are not so creative that are like more constrained by the order and they're like, oh, touches or so I mean, it's like counterculture, you know, or like against the grain. And then like, yeah, they're not so much that now that they're not so much again, like in the 50s, I think it was a super different kind of orientation. I wear a shirt like a buttoned up collared shirt to work or you know, say like a shirt and tie. So it's like they're not visible. Strong male farmers in the 50s who you would agree where like positive testosterone energy carrying individuals would be like, the hell are you doing, boy? Well, I'll get tatted up. But at the same time, there would be an ultra creative farmer that helps build an irrigation system that makes everybody rich, you know? Okay. Yeah, well, that guy's got tattoos on. That's you. But yeah, I still but yeah, the the cultural feeling about tattoo is way different now. Two way different way different. Another dope is for the other type bro I love watching Ink Master that show. I just love that show. I just I was like, I don't even know how I maybe right out of high school or like second year of college or so, like 20. I was like, this shows though, and then we ended up picking it. Pick it. I was like, that's when it came out. And then I watched maybe a season, and then I had to wait for the next season, then like fell out of it and then eventually picked it back up later on, like probably 5 or 6 years ago. Sure. And watch every season since. Nice like this shows though bro. I think these are tide. Yeah, super tide tattoos are lit and there's like just like natural drama that is created with having people compete, you know? Yeah, like doing competitions and whatnot and the hierarchy that plays out there. You know, that's what makes me nervous. Get tattoos just because like sometimes you're like, they someone gets a tattoo and the guy's like, this is horrible. Let's say it exact, but it's off composition. Wrong. Blind work, dog crap. You done. You never work in the city again. Like if I get a tattoo, I almost want to, like, go to one of those judges and be like. So how'd they do? Like, I don't know, you know what I got here? Does it suck? Yeah. So then there's the aspect of, like, I don't care what you say about it or like the say like the, the significance you can assign to it abstractly, creatively. Yeah. That goes beyond the physical image itself. It's like, maybe I wouldn't get the same tattoo as somebody else. Then it's like, well, sometimes you would, but sometimes you wouldn't. As far as, yeah, if it is solely as a more meaningful to them, like if you wouldn't get something. Yeah. A portrait someone's daughter on you. Yeah. It's awesome. I had a back piece today in the gym and it was like, like, it looked like a memorial to his daughter. Her name, like, super big on his back and, like, a bunch of stuff. And it was like, crazy. It was a whole, like, from his shoulders down to his, like, waistline, back piece by piece. It was hard for sure. But yeah, I wouldn't. That's a whole thing. Well, it's, takes time. That's. Take some time. Yeah, bro, I, I can see how if you lost a kid, that would be the kind of thing. It would just be too much. You need some kind of tattoo. My whole body type of. I get it, you know what I'm saying? That's how. That's what a lot of R.I.P. tattoos. We don't know what to do with that. Oh, yeah, I'm saying, dude. Yeah, it's just like any I want. That's part of the dope thing about the idea of the tattoo. It's supposed to mean that permanent sign, you know? Yeah, there's supposed to be some reference with some weight on them things, you know? Yeah. It's therapeutic. There's there's a therapy to. When someone passes away and then you, like, commemorate permanently part of your body. It helps you like, I feel like I'm not not making this significant. It's significant. But like also helps you to be able to maybe like think to like start to move away from like the dark place of it, the significance. You know, I can look right here and remember, you know, yeah. There's some boys over at the, at the restaurant. I know that they lost a friend and then three of them got, like, the same tattoo that's also sparked this, like, oh, yeah, we're like, you got to do something, you know, even before tattoo machines, and you're just doing it by hand or with the whatever, like every needle. Is that the hammer or needle type? Whatever. Tattoos. Tribal. Tribal tattoos. For real? Yeah. It's like, yo, that's crazy. Yeah, it's a thing. It's all going on. Unless there's some. Yeah. Tattoo to go there. Died there live. Right. Well, yeah. I want these ladybug tattoo on my neck too. It's just I just know it's where it goes. How do you know that? The same way you know, the fucking I know this this drum goes right here. So, like, I know it's like, just wait until you hear the song. That's was like. I was like, move it. A quarter note to the left. It's like, there it is. Oh, that. Yeah, that was it. And I was a little too early is literally for the first or the second time or little too late whatever. Yeah. So we'll get there. We'll do it for sure because this. Yet I also like the idea of just going into it's nice to like we're going up and shooting outside. I'm trying to like know that to, you know, feel that to a degree. I had a weird moment. I said to a degree last night in the mirror, I was butterfly, my hair was like done to the side all week. This is really long because, like, I had to miss a haircut two weeks ago, and then Chris had to cancel last week. So we're just it's been like three weeks now or so. So I was doing a little to the side and I got home and it was like the gel had like fallen out, but it was still brushed like a comb over. And I just was like, I don't know what it was. I think I saw that Jordan Peterson, a bit about the falsehood thing. It's like you can't exist. You can't create a falsehood to extract resources from a society and not expect that falsehood to become something that your personality is actually becoming. It's like no one sophisticated enough to, like, wear a falsehood mask, and that mask doesn't leak into their skin. And like I and then I was like evaluating that within myself because I have created a persona where I'm less conflicted, worse and more go with the flow so that I can extract resources from the society, like make money at work. And I was just like, oh man. And I was just at this place where I was like, I feel the thing. I feel the calling of like just telling the truth and being honest and like being willing to like, say like, this is not okay with me versus like, oh, it's okay with me. I need to make money. It's like, nope, nope, can't do it. Don't know, can't do it. And I felt like the evolving of that coming out. And then I looked in the mirror and I was just like, who are you? And it was like, I know who I am. But like, in the mirror was like, I had my hair done to the side and I looked like a different version of me. And also I was like, evaluating this mask of just like being. It was like literally representative of me being like, oh, put my self to the side part. Yeah. So that way I can just look more like a corporate, you know, drone, go collect my paycheck and come home. And I was just like, oh my God. Oh, that's to stop. This has to stop. Oh, me. Oh yeah. That you owe that to me the best. I'm the best. Now on a positive definite. You know that's me. No, no to gain like a refund it. Yeah yeah yeah. Dude. So it was just like, I don't know. Yeah. That's another reason why I was like, I'm on a bed tonight. I'm at my clean my shit all the way up, eat healthy, go to bed like a healthy workout. Be me like that's got to do it. Got to do it. That's important. It's important. And tattoos I don't know. Oh yeah I guess I identify transformation sometimes. That's great. Yeah for sure. There's something about being yourself I guess looking at the mirror and seeing something different. It's like you can become something that's not you. These tattoos also help like reinforce you. You know your beliefs. It's it it release. Like, what do I believe is worthy, right. What do I do? What about to what I respect? Yeah, who am I? And this is who I am. Because this means this what this, this this made me. What do I think about life? Yeah, yeah. You got to be you. You got to express that you. Otherwise, it's like you're just a mom. I guess. Or you can hopefully be just God. Just Jesus. Let's see you. Let's see. Let's see for. Yeah. I've tattoos are saying transformation weird place or something about transformation two is like scientifically we go through like a as I say, a prefrontal cortex closes when you're 25. I'm talking about ten to 20 to 30 being like a big girthy gap of wisdom gaining or girthy. Yeah. Good experience. Experience gaining crazy. It is like helping. I think those are some formative years. That's a scientifically when it comes to. Yeah. When it comes to your mental evaluation of what's going on here, the prefrontal cortex closing is like significant. I don't know if everybody feels it as much as I felt it, but it was like the difference between like, yeah, just like caring about like, what am I eating and what's my schedule? And like, am I actually saving money? Okay. I am actually like my, my money system is working systems put in place. Yeah I felt it. I'll just like and also want to like read 12 rules for life like right before that. And then I was like trying to not lie. And then I found myself transferred into like the different the different realm you're in when you don't have like active lives going around and you're not really contributing lives to like the field you have going on. It's like a different field of like existence. So I was like, oh my gosh, if I'm a little butterfly, I feel like we freaking tied the shoe. So like, everything is like, oh my goodness, I can like running this now. And so I don't know if everybody feels that, but I definitely feel like that's when it will happen for me. Around 25. And then also we go through like a transformation every like 7 or 8 years or something like that. Just like a natural. Yeah. Like your cells are like regenerate or like every cell in your body's now been replaced. Yeah. That cycle is continue of the death and the regeneration of cells in your body. Yeah. There's something to that that happens with every system in our body, including our mental status. There's like a point where it's just like, you are becoming a new you. You could consciously use that to become the you that you need to be for your life. Or you could also, just like now I'm golfing and drinking a little more, a lot older. So what I do now, you know, or. Yeah, duh. That's what normally happens. A lot of guys as it happens. Yeah. Or hopefully you're like, oh I started cooking. You know I'm, I like cooking lately. And getting into have you seen that a lot or just like, cooking shows you know home cooks. It's like yeah let's cook a lot like guys play for the show more or less like now here I am, I'm just doing this thing I guess I'm like I quit my job not lawyer anymore. Yeah, yeah we have this opportunity I was tired that kind of change like it's happen that's going to occur. Also you could choose to be a different version of yourself, but I think it's nice when you get these momentum swings that come with you. I think my mental status was ready for a new blank slate, but as I was picking this up, it was like perfect to like, put that into that thing. I was breaking out of a cocoon. I wasn't sure what I was turning into. And the butterflies course, the revelations. Observations. The smallest, the screws. What it all really means. Like I don't know what it all really means. Yeah. No it's deeper than we can understand. But we're going to say it a little bit. So yeah. Yeah for sure I like I was just thinking about, there was a time where I was listening to certain podcasts and I was doing something I married specifically, and I just like. Like there was around the ice time, the ice days had this real specific feel to it, like February here in San Antonio. I knew where I was within that, you know, ice days. You remember where you were. I want to snow, bro. It's no big time. Like in 2021. I want to say 2021. It's not hard over here in Texas. And that was unprecedented. Unexpected. No one was ready for that getting hit with some snow. But we had an ice like a two ice days, like a legit 20 degree days. It was with, yes, a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Right. Yeah, a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah for sure. And you're saying that it had we feel to it or tangible like I remember just like the things that were going on. Like I was like watch it house. And I was eating this kind of dinner most nights. And I was talking to Derek on the phone lines like, had this real like, I don't know, comfortable feel to it or something, I'm not sure. And then like, the weather changed and like, I looked in the mirror last night and I was just thinking all these thoughts about like, right now, I was just like trying to, like, ground myself a little bit. And I was like, just feels weird now. Everything is weird now. I'm not sure if it's like the seasons changing. I thought the season just changed like a week or two ago. Maybe that was it. I don't know, I don't know. We've also been in a weird war for like two years. I'm just like, because we like America. I mean, you okay, okay, okay. Like our story transformation. Only since we, like, left a job to do a new type of job. More or less. Just been in, like a quest that's long as hell. And I don't know, it was just a lot. But now I was like where am I right now. Where am I right now. Fuck this there, I'm going to whip my hair down okay. I like this version of me. This is who you've been lately. Be this guy. So like, what else am I doing here? I'm talking these tattoos and that's like. That's part of the the thing. I was, like, grounding myself in whatever, whatever. I don't know where we're at, but, trust that it's for good. I trust that it's always been good. And I think it feels like that, like, ever moved to a new fucking city or something I like. I don't know what's going on right now. No. Anyways, I just gotta get up and go to school. I got stuff going on. I don't know what's going on. Try to figure out what's going on. Yeah, I'm. I've been to a lot of different new schools. Is a weird in a new place like this, social dynamic of, competence, dominance hierarchy. Is it weird being with all new people, all in a new place, all trying to figure out and adopt responsibility? Yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah, right. For sure. You got to be dealing with, like, personalities and stuff. Yeah, yeah. It at least takes conscious effort and discernment trying to figure out what's going on here, what's the hierarchy, what are the personality types, who's legitimately competent. Yeah. Yeah. It's like who's also I'm just analyzing everyone's analyzation. What are y'all doing here? What's going on here. The what do you think is happening here. And then let me try to figure out what I think is happening here. There are different questions. Wait. Hold on. How are we doing on time right now? You know, I think we're doing all right. And also fresh out here and maybe the next like 20, 30. Oh, nice. Yeah I'm super good for that okay. But yeah you go love it. Pick up the damage. Yeah. Later so I can leave is five. So I'm really comfortable now. The guitars. But yeah she's the best. We're going to try baby yoga this week. A little baby yoga. We stretched the baby. Now I'm going to do yoga of the baby on you. I work out sometimes and she loves it. I'll do like, crunches with her. Like holding her like the passive away. Okay. Yeah. And then she thinks it's, like, so fun, you know what I'm saying? Or, like, I'll do a plank or she's, like, riding on my back. She thinks it's so fun. So we could do that for sure. But, no, I'm going to set up two mats and then, like, probably put yoga on the TV like a slow yoga for like babies and then do the pose and then like, encourage her and invite her to, like, sit down with me and then, like, cross her legs like me, you know, and then see if she can, like, pick up that what she's doing is stopping you. Yeah. And then when she does it successfully, we'll be excited. And I think that she'll think it's a fun game, but we'll see. Yeah. This is this is a thing. I have heard about other babies will do yoga with their parents. And then I imagine, like, how would the how how would you do that with with what Demi is you know. Yeah. I'm like now she likes to play with me and sure, follow me anywhere I go and listen to me. So like, I think, I think she'll do it or you do it. Yeah. We'll see. Yeah. Because. Oh, the other thing is I see all these babies on Instagram like little kids, like practicing their sport. Like there's one kid is, like, playing baseball in this garage with his dad every night. He's gotta be like, for. And frickin band right and left handed and, like, it's a switch it up. Yeah, that's cool dude. And then I was just thinking this next level dog, how do you even, like, start that? You know, if I when they're super, super young. Yeah. For sure. So what. We'll see if she's interested or if it's only for like ten minutes. 20 minutes. It's a start of just like let's practice something, you know. Let's play the game of I show you something and you do it you know. And if she's into it that's cool. She does want to do it. I'm not gonna like make her I'm saying yeah, yeah okay. Yeah. So my dad was just kind of something we're gonna do this week. I'm trying to think of what else fits the baby. You were just talking about something before. We're talking about, I guess, dynamics, the personalities at work. It seems like a deep pool of, We're trying to figure out what people are doing. Even the action of being new. Yeah, yeah. What am I being new to for that a little bit? It's all right. It's something that you can do well or do poorly. That's definitely what I realized. Moving schools a lot. Yeah. Yeah we talk about that too. Yeah. If I figure out what's going on here what's the hierarchy. What's the truth. Yeah. There's a way to integrate yourself that like does you a favor more or less. Or you could like set yourself up for social ridicule and embarrassment. It's like being quiet. Humble is good, but also being too quiet, too humble is not good. Yeah. So you're at the moment of presenting yourself with some grace and humility. That's definitely always, but even more so when you're like new. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think, you know, it's admirable. Definitely. We see that being expressed for like what it be new guy. Good job new guy. Yeah. Just way to be new guy. Yeah for sure for sure. Yeah I remember it's like someone who's like kind of quiet and working hard. Gets a five star review and gets shout it out. We're all like, nice new guy. I got a buck. Nice. Good chatty. Let's go. Yeah, there's a way to frickin do it properly. So I do it properly and it looks beautiful. Yeah dude. Right I figured it out, I fell battling with it and then me battling with it to figure out how to make it happen, trying to figure out what's the right analysis and then after that what's the right action behavior. Ultimately it doesn't matter. What they do is this thing keeps marching on. You can act with poor proper function and still your flower still grows more or less. You're still getting water and oxygen, sunlight. So you're still growing. And that's one thing that I've definitely realized or like, feel up here or like away from the washing machine or like, especially with feeling just more broadness, just like, yeah, I like it. Managing how I feel about what's playing out around me is, like, more important than because I like playing out. What's around me is not hard. Like the first person mode of like, be kind, polite, be honest, work hard, be disciplined, dedicated, show hard grit. Play to the fourth quarter, play to the whistle. It's like, oh, this is so second nature. Now, you know what I'm saying though like now. Yeah. This must have feel like LeBron must feel when he's like it's more important. Like how I coach the the team around me. Then even how I coach the people around me is just like, predicated on it's like I know what that influence is going to be, and that's just whether they take to it or not. I can't control that on any level. So now that I know what's happening there, I know what's happening there. I'm like up here, like managing the system. But I'm still like, what am I doing? What am I doing all that good. So going to be like like you're so good. Yeah. So what about the what's the story of my career this year? I'm getting old. Am I gonna retire with a brownie? I put a brownie last year. That was story that season. Like, I don't know, I feel it feels weird to be in that place with stuff, but I think it's part a product of being like 30 years old. So having like, this life, it's like watching TV, watching TV. You're like, the meta story of the story is what's interesting to you. Then you understand my story. Story. So then it's just like you're just kind of evaluating quickly. It's like, oh, it's just soft. Because like, there was a crux in the protagonist. He wasn't acting like the ideal character. And it's like it didn't work out and none of that show was good. I don't know if you be feeling it. I feel like you're feeling that sometimes when I hear you're describing, like, your capacity to just give it up to God, you're like, this isn't just be playing out there. Just right now. I'm just asking God to hang out with me. The only thing so I can. Anything interesting? Yeah, things are happening and it's happening. They're going to happen with you, without you. It just just keeps on turn and it just keeps on churning. The wheel of life. Yeah. Can't stop it. No. Oh, it's rough. Yeah. It's so much, so much. It's like I get up to God, man. Other people are having rough, more rough seasons than we are. Like, if you broke your leg last week, rough season had. That sucks. We're doing better than them for sure. It's just weird. Not sure what's next. What's going to happen next? Okay, okay. That's how that is actually how I feel. Actually, I don't know what happens next in this book. I don't know I know what's going to happen in this book. I don't know how it's going to play out now. Chapter. Whatever we're on, I know how it ends. It's going to be great. We're going to be we're going to be great. Everything's going to play out. It's oh no, I feel like we're three quarters the way through. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire has my own game and tournament. A lot of kind of. I'm like, oh God, for my. But yeah, I feel that's a this is also how I felt halfway through Goblet of Fire. I'm just like, okay, so like he's going to win the tournament or what's happening here. It's like, and this book is book for sure. What are we doing here? Oh my gosh. Whoa. Hyper engaged. Yeah that's that's probably a it's like a lull of like where am I engaged? I'm actually right now I feel like going to be like life is going to be one boom right here. Like oh my gosh, that's the ultimate truth. As far as you know, God's ability to just get your story can, you know, we're trying to influence our story. And we do have influence and control over our story. But to a degree, that's a gift. The amount of that that we have and are able to actually fully harness is a gift and an option. You know, how to pursue that and develop that. But it's a gift, but it's given by someone who does have control of giving you that gift, of giving you your control of the narrative. So I believe that the thing that's are coming into the narrative are going to be given from someone who wants the best for the narrative and for what, myself. So like whenever that happens, like, yes, yes, let's have the faith. That's true, even regardless of the external outcome, as long as we're doing our best legitimately. Yeah, yeah, life be life. And sometimes the outcome is like still like your body gets shot while you're over overseas. So like that should just be happening. You know for sure. Grief for real. Yeah. That's interesting subject to church history. And go to their season. So yeah negative emotions exists here for sure. Yeah the season for everything. But even then. They definitely get closer to God when you go through hard times for sure. So I think pastor Nick and mentioned in one of his sermons one time he's like, where would I go? You know, so. Yeah. That's all. Yeah, for sure. When you get to that point of grief and sorrow, where else could I go that would be any better? You know, I'm saying there's nothing. This is the only option. Yeah. And it still hurts a lot. It's like, yeah, growing up mentally or, you know, whatever. Mentally going into nihilism or to into faith, it's like it's better to go there. It's not going to feel any better, but it is better to go there. Where else would you go? Yeah, that's literally what I said at my office, you know, so there's really just two options. Like when this happens so you can be afraid of life and then act nihilistic is what I, what I said or you can, like, double down on your faith and like, even through this, I still want to like, push for the positivity, for love, for the like the right, the right ideals is what I would have said if any of those words. Yeah, that's like the only thing of wisdom security is. So yeah, thanks. Thanks. But yeah, that's what that's all I felt in that moment. I was like, you either like crash down and hate everything or you like, like swallow a tough pill, I guess is like, I don't know what barrier cross. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Like, even through this, I still trust God. It's it's like those are the only two options. That's it. And it's hard because yeah, I like I get it in my free life and hopefully you're like, there's a part of you that just knows that's another thing too. It's like, you know, hopefully that's why you like this podcast. It's because it's a couple of voices that can help validate the voice that knows, you know. Well, no, you know, but you choose to withhold your own knowing from yourself to protect yourself from knowing that, you know, you have. There's a deep down, deep down, you know, that you're withholding it from the front door and the subconscious is down there. It's like a waiting waters. You can look into the water and you can see when the waters are still enough. You can kind of see down into the subconscious, but then the waters are always white water rafting. You'll never be able to see down there. So some people drink every night. They're trying to they don't even want to have the capacity to look down. They have to clear water to even have the opportunity to truly look down and see what's going on. Yeah. The deep down. Yeah. Or they've seen it before and it scares them. That's what therapy is for. Like it's like like psychiatry. You're like we're going into the deep down. Yeah. Get your scuba gear. Here we go. Yeah. Some of it's like general life advice I think. But then like most like the psychotherapy is that for sure. Sometimes I guess people just don't know how to have it figured out how to function. Or you don't have a parent that helps you with like a core problem that you're having. I'm like, deep down, you know, those watching movies, not learning most things that you see in life happen in movies. And you can be like, oh my gosh, I know deep down that that's what's going on. Yeah, yeah, I guess I could also be manipulated or I guess, I guess the idea of, maybe the deep down is always the things in there are in there and they're always there. And then just the sometimes we neglect the opportunity to withhold the wishy washy and it just gets wishy washy naturally, like the water's it takes some effort to consciously steal it, and then it takes some effort to consciously look into it and analyze for real. But then maybe, it's just easier to be wishy washy waters most of the time. All the time, especially if you're not actively trying to calm and seal the waters. You don't even know there's a there's a deep down, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting riled up intelligence. The thing to men, it's like IQ can I think for relatively we know. That's only have one life itself like the same way or be pooping around. It's like you don't always have like the conscious mind to like look into your subconscious about your problems. You're just like, going to the bar after work. You know, I'm not really, like, thinking about, like, what's going on here. But during the bar after work sometimes is nice, stressed out, know sounds super cliche. It's like this idea of like letting loose, taking that load off. You take the like that load off of me so much load all over me. Big old load on me. Check it off, please. Yeah for sure. There's there's that I just and also it's like, a moment for genuine authenticity happened to. So you could be you. So like, I could see how some people get stuck at work being like, the fake persona that they've had made for themselves to extract resources. And then you can take that off and just, like, be you. It's like very refreshing. Like, oh my gosh, this is how I feel. This is what I wear, this is what I drink, this is how I behave. Yeah, yeah, I felt that moment for sure. And like the beat that that's funny is like, yeah, I think of I'm becoming more of myself as I've been working more into this industry and like you're part of that, like the tattoo thing is also part of that. But also just like the idea and thinking of, I guess I wanted to bridge it too. I lost the, the the preface, but bridging it to like working at this new spot and then having a problem on Saturday night bar slammed unlimited staff for we're we're making do with three servers. We'll make them they're there's it's on the Saturday night and then bars is taking forever you know. Thanks. Ideally we're trying to have the drinks at the table before desserts or entrees or whatever. Hit the table so they can course either enjoy their food with their drink, you know. Sure. But then I bringing a dessert, bringing the drinks. It's just like a that's a dinner, dessert wine and a rum should be relatively quick. Bringing the drinks. Bringing the dessert. Dessert takes about ten, 15 minutes and then drinks never come get the dessert. I go to the bar to, like, be like, okay, like, where is. Come on, man. Like. And then there's. It's not there yet. It's like tickets are piling up at the ticket machine. It's like. Okay, how can I play this that I'm that I play this? Let's, Then I've had insight into, like, the some of the answers for that question from a perspective the not from the server from like the manager perspective. I was like, okay, how do you handle this? Like what's what's the right course of action here? And then that's like as a I was like, I just went to the table and asked them. I was like, can I I'm so sorry. The bar's a little bit behind or whatever. They're working as fast. They can't get it out. Can I get you? I can get you some wine. Would you give us, like, some sparkling wine or something to enjoy with your or whatever before you finish your dessert? Pretty much. And then, okay, let's I'll get, like, a little sparkling watch me would be nice. I bet there's one behind the bar. Who's got the bottle? Prosecco was like. It's like, which one do I get and which one do I get on? I was like, you know, you get the second or it's like, come on. Like I could see a rookie server who's like, doing this and this is this, this is the right course of action. But then you get them like the super expensive bottle or whatever. It's like, I came the champagne of the house. It's like, no, dude, this is like, you could easily have used it was the right intention. But did you went about it a little bit awfully. Yeah. I could have just done this, but chose the cheapest option. Yeah. This is a this is the lowest course of ramification to handle this negative consequence. You know, I'm saying like this is the right level of move. This is like just a regular water gun instead of like a hydro pump. Yeah. Yeah definitely. You don't need to do a hydro power moment right here. They're not. Yeah. They're not even expecting like they're not a big level monster. So going above and beyond right here a squirt gun is good. Yeah. Yeah for sure. This fire is like growing. It's there. There's there's a fire there. And I'm trying to put it out before it gets any bigger. Yeah. What's the most amount of water I need to do that. Yeah I was able to catch it fast enough and then like do it, give it a little split a glass, one glass per second. So 15 bucks. You know I'm saying it's whatever. So like we'll split that okay. It's not a bad move. But then yeah then like my manager was she expressed she was like, did you ask Angelo or like, did you come to the proper authority to like, run that move? You talked about authority, ma'am, and I was like, ma'am, I'm Harry Potter. Hundred points. The Griffith Sheriff Sullivan in the building, ma'am. I heard you a fire and a house. A lot of the videos. I put it out before you even knew it. Was there a male? Because 15 bucks. Let's see. What's she happy? Upset? She give you hundred points? Not 100 points, but no repercussions. Okay? Not even no negative energy. Because then she was like, you gonna let me know? Like, when things are getting to that level, when there's a fire. Pretty much. And I was like, okay, well, I held that one, but I do have two other fires that are in the same exact vein of Category of Fire, the bars I'm behind on my drinks up for this table. In this table, if you wanna go check on that. Yeah, yeah. She's like, okay, careful. Just for you. Okay, I get that. That's what. That's why you give me the put me in the hierarchy the way you do. Yeah. So I don't want it. I'm not doing that because I want to put her in the hierarchy. I just want to look around the corner and, like, solve the problem and be competent and have the pack run smoothly and have the experience of the gas, which are agreed upon. Objective. I want to accomplish the objective. Yeah, as well as possible. Legitimately, truthfully, with for everyone's benefit. I'm not going to try to screw over the restaurant trying to screw over the anybody the guest. Now you're being a transcendent player, which is a dangerous road to trap like as a manager. It's like kind of not okay, but at the same time, it's like, use your judgment to tell me what happened. And you did what? And then I to look at my judgment. I'm like, okay, yeah, that was like the right thing to do. So then I'm like, maybe I can trust his judgment, you know what I'm saying? And that is valuable if you can trust someone's judgment is super valuable. So then you know I don't think obviously hopefully in your case there wouldn't be ramifications because otherwise I'd be kind of like someone is like just want to control. Yeah, yeah yeah. And that's that's a rookie novice thing to do. You know, saying to want control regardless of the outcome. It's like, no, I think I handled that pretty much as well as we could have handled it. Like we could talk about it as far as what I could have said it would have done to make it any better, but like, okay, we'll take that and then run out the simulation and then we'll see if the result was like about the same. Right? Yeah. Yeah. It's just preference to it's all like okay, I'll do it your way. Yeah. So yeah okay. That's fine. Whatever. Yeah. Singing on my feet. We don't have a lot of offense figured out here, so it's just like cooking with what I got the heads across was good. Make it happen. This is the best of our ability. And then yeah, I can say the drinks are whatever. What should have been. Just like a pour and a pour something, a drink you have to create. It's just like a pour out of a bottle. Two times two different bottles. So you could do that really quickly. So it's like that I didn't go to do that far. So I was like, where are the bottles? But the employees myself. Yeah, right. Like I wish I could have like, you know, saying some spots. But then there's a yeah that the trust of the judgment. Yeah. That's manager agency which like you should have the authority to execute on some level, but also where you have to play, play the play. We're playing. And and I think this is, this is a worthy. And then we ended up taking off one of the, one of the drinks with a charge of the other drink. So it's like we just replace that drink with a whatever. It's fine. Yeah. It's always fun to do better. The rest of the company, both the drinks which become one of the drinks and you know. Yeah, that's a good day. There we go. Like that's a good tip. Everybody wins. Say yeah. We're not giving away the house, taking care of the guests. Make them feel taken care of. Yes. And apologizing and handling situation the best we can. Yes. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. Yeah. That's what we're doing here. But then. Yeah, trying to be so being more of myself. It's like that was that was a result of being more of myself. Instead of being someone who just like blindly adhering to the rules or blindly whatever. Yes. It's like people moving around. Yeah I like no I think the myself part can hopefully you can get that to a transcendent level for I think it's hope it. Yeah for sure. Is Oklahoma drilling this, expressing yourself like the wisdom you gained by expressing yourself would definitely like get you yoked up enough to win Oklahoma drone places. So like you got to really know who you are so you can really know who they are or who they're not being. You know what I'm saying. It's like how would you ever know if you didn't have like some kind of like going experience about that, you know, data. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's like this is all data. It's all experiment. Your data. That's how I'm so good. Also. Yeah, just like reading people. I'm crazy reading people right now. It was really cool on the poker table. But then also just like in a conversation I was having, I'm like, the argument that you're making is to justify the position that you've taken and you have to take that position because I'm arguing this subject right here, and instead of actually meeting me on this subject, you had to take a position which lead you to say this thing. So it's like, yes, you're presenting a fact that works well in this argument right here. But like you're presenting it from this place because you're in this place because you're in this place, because you're misaligned over here. And I'm like to be able to know that in my own head, I was like, it's not even worth having that gut. Like that's taking people to the rack rack. So like in the conversation, I'd rather just have the conversation. But it's imagine being in a court of law and you're going bar for bar with a lawyer. It's like, I know why you're saying what you're saying. It's you're saying it because you're lying about this over here, which puts you in a position to misrepresent this over here. And it's not you're not actually presenting that in the way. It's like you're you're saying, I'm standing on moral high ground right now, but you're moral high ground that you're presenting is stemmed from a lie that misaligned you because you initially were not on a moral high ground at all, like there was nothing truthful about the initial behavior that led you down this route to to make this statement right here. But I can't say all that to the judge. Maybe you could. But like in reality, you just have to like, object. Objection. Persuasion of the of the witness. It's like you can't you can't quite get down into the metaphysics of the why. Most of the time, people don't even know. But like, I'll be like seeing that because it would be like reading table so much so like. Yeah, everything's good. Yeah. Like things are not good like that, but like expounded to like another factor. It's like, yeah, yeah, you're saying that but that's not. And the way within you're saying that reflects what I'm trying to argue more, more representative Lee than like the moral high ground that you took through. Like calling out my mistake doesn't make your mistake. Right. And I'm saying it. Yeah. So regardless, begin, like, brought up here, you know what I'm saying? Trying to figure out what the fuck I do with that in brain I didn't brought up. You know, another thing was like, did my fingers are longer than they used to be. Okay? I was like, in the bathroom last night, and I'm like, I don't think my hand was this big. I really don't think growing, oh, growing. That was like, sure. I'm like, yeah, my middle finger is definitely this is new to me. Like, I'm not I don't know what's going on here. No, dude. And that's how I looked in the mirror. And I was like, oh, are you good hands? That means it's always been my hands. Not like, oh, stupid, that's a damn basketball. I caught the ball on like the short corner post. Like you call for it here. Got it here. And I just, like, held the ball like Kobe. Dude. Frickin Michael Jordan. One handed the ball and then like, crossed backwards and shot and I made it and I was like, that's what that was. That was cool. That was cool. Don't think about it too much. Don't think we'll think about it later. If that was cool, act normal. Cool. Why bruh. But yeah, that also kind of validate. Like my hands are bigger. I definitely couldn't just like pawn the ball and not like lose it. You know, I probably would lose it if I shook it too much but didn't lose it today. That's cool. So yeah, it be like grown, I guess. Still, I don't know. Changing transforming the butterfly thing is weird and weird effect. For real, I should Kutcher am I being pranked right now? Who knows what's going on? Dude, I could just be like, oh no, I'm a crazy person. Don't give that any meaning. And I try to not give it any meaning. No, I try to like bang bang was like, oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. That's something. That's something special of the use. It's not nothing important. We got to be this. Yes, it's a weird. It's at least not nothing. Too much of you make him almost unbearable. If the use that you're expressing isn't, like, responsible or disciplined or truly competent. Yeah, tasteful. He's walking around wearing, like, what you deem to be a good outfit is. And like, I don't know if like, your preconceived notions like, maybe you haven't built your you as an adaptation to society. Maybe you're just building you on your you on freeplay. So you get to walk round with like green hair, like never shower, play video games all day, like, not know how to talk about politics and stuff. It makes you like hard to like higher level. So, so yeah, there's like a some kind of like, I guess I think we aspire to be tasteful. And being tasteful means like aligning yourself with the society in such a way that it's then tasteful. So there's not really like a disrupt between like, being your expressive you. And I guess that's the thing with these ultra creative types, though, there are other types to be like the most inclined to break all the social rules. People get full body tattoos and stuff like that. Yeah, crazy piercings, counterculture for the sake of being counterculture. But I guess being counterculture, in essence, is being creative. But then it's like an extreme or unbalanced version of that, right? That's like being counterculture for counterculture purposes was like, not sometimes hippie counterculture or like go against the grain. And it's like the right thing to do, right? You know? Yeah, totally easy to get switched up, though. Yeah, for sure, for sure. But not just anti anti whenever you're talking about why. Because, you know, it's because there's something associated positively with being creative. Who are you. But yeah. No, but some people are just super creative. Like, I don't know, no one's hurt me. I just don't want to do with all this creativity I have. So I express it like this. But there's a bare minimum, a bare minimum social acceptance. We have to get into, like real rules that you have to live by or play by. It's like you got to do, even if you're not hirable to be your own boss. But then it's like, well, then you might need people to work for you in one day. And if you can't do it all by yourself, then you need people to work with you. Not for you, but with you in the sense of like, do commerce with you and like buy your product. It's like, you know, no matter how good your product is, people aren't going to want to buy it, I guess. Is that is that true? Do you think that no matter how good your product is, people will buy it if they hate you? What it takes to make a product that's socially undeniable? It's going to cost a lot more. It's like you be buying up more than you can chew for the most part, unless you're Steve Jobs or self say, Michael Joy, everyone must be Michael Jordan was like, you know what? It's like so many, so many things made Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan I like that was a sign that Chris Williamson and Joe Rogan talk about Tiger Woods. It's like his dad was on the golf course or someone who's like two years old, and then he like what harassed him on the golf course and like, call him racially derogatory stuff while he's, like, playing golf and, like, made a rule. It's like if it's ever too much, just tell me like enough. But I'm trying to, like, fortify your mind. So I'm going to do this until you tell me to stop. And I guess Tiger Woods, like, never did that, but also makes you so crazy that you, like, are so insecure that you can't keep a wife sleeping with like, 20 girls on one time and then, like, you know, you lose your marriage and then you end up on drugs a little bit, having to go to psychiatry and crashing your car and breaking your legs. So that's what Tiger Woods is. So like you say, like, I want to be like Tiger Woods. It's like, oh, so big cookie, you're biting. You know, tickle cookie. Girthy cookie. Because anything with these ultra creative types, they're like well I'll just be Steve Jobs like you're asking for a lot. Yeah. My own life is a lot. Sometimes I'm like dang I don't know what you wish for. Yeah. Well yeah. I know everybody though and everybody wants to be like that. I guess maybe creative types are more inclined to be like that. They have a problem where they have to integrate their desire to express beyond the boundary into something that can exist within the boundary. You're going to have to figure that out one way or another. I guess you could be a Bitcoin miner. I was thinking just like by yourself to want to work with anybody. You could do that, set up some bots. That's going to be your life though. Like some science. Like it's going to cost something. But you can't be a false version of yourself to extract resources from society. You just can't. That's why it's across the cross. So, you know, you get them and you have to bear that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There you get Steve. It's like, it's funny because the idea of expressing being like the true expression of yourself, it's like we can do that or not at work for sure. But then I feel like, yeah, trying to incorporate that into your work is like ideal for everyone, you know, hopefully, like the true expression of your authentic self and then doing that through the lens of whatever your job is currently and well, so enough and striving whatever to to whatever you would want to do anyway. Try to develop that future plan, and if not, then just at least keep pushing it and doing the best you can where you're at, because it's worth it. Why not say alternative? But then ideally, hopefully whenever you get to the fullest expression, authentic expression of yourself, I think that would include incorporating your work into like who you are so that yeah, whenever you're, you know, there's is that so much of a hat switch whenever you go from off the clock to on the clock, you know, saying like you're more or less the same person or at least within certain bounds. But then there's a minimum social interaction piece of your character to but then even, In your authentic self, I think that was expressed. I could like, look back at my own story over the last couple of weeks and see that that is more so the case for sure. Just like in metaphorical story playing out mode of that one night or one day. One day I went to work and I was like doing. I went to the training in the morning and I went to the other side in the evening. And then between that transition, I didn't have enough time to get my hairstyle and the way that I typically do my hairstyle. You know, I'm saying for, for, for work and then and then like, I just came in with all me, the, me curly cuz yeah, yeah. Sweaty people. A lot of people were like, what's going on here? This isn't the Justin I know. Who are you? We're so funny, aren't we? It trips everyone out, bro. Oh, an Jane you'll get like 20, 20. People ask you the same question. Like what is the what when ask you in their own way, you know, in your glasses today? Yeah. It was like I got contacts in. Yeah. Right. Like their own little like because they're like triggered on some level. Like, this isn't what I know it to be. Novelty. Yeah, yeah. So are you. This is new. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So funny bro. Because, yeah, it'll be something innocuous is just, like, not doing your hair. And it's just. Yeah, it's just the effect that I have also had that same moment applied within doing the podcast. Like having the glasses on the podcast, you know, saying because part of me ask my question to ask the question of like if you're gonna go on Joe Rogan, would you wear glasses on the podcast? Oh, how was I? Probably yeah. Okay. Overall. Sure. Yeah. Yes. Like presenting like, did you wear glasses when you got married? Yes. Yeah. That's deep. Yeah. You know, that's. Well, no. Yeah. We're deep. We're out here. The deep down. Did you ask yourself that that day or what do you think about it. Yeah, it crossed my mind. Right. Because I mean, I think I brought context. I'm pretty sure I brought context, maybe just in case, for pictures or something like that, but nothing ever put them there. Yes, I put them in. It's like sexy Justin has more glasses. You can have that going on for you, I guess. Yeah, right. Some different. But I do need these glasses. Like, it's like crazy. Yeah, I guess, and I'm not. I guess that would imply that anyone who's wearing contacts or not wearing the glasses isn't like fully being truly authentic. But that's not I don't think that's exactly the case. There's a season for everything. I don't know, man, because I definitely thought that my more authentic version of myself had the contacts when I was like growing up and being a teenager. Like I didn't have any contacts. I was like, no, I this is this is the more true, authentic me. And then I think now in the last year and a half or so, just like coming into like now, I think this is the more authentic version of me in this season or whatever you say. Season five years glasses. Yeah. Or whatever. He's at the game, he doesn't have the cane or he's got whatever replacement. Yeah, everything's going on. Got this tattooed on the head a tattoo. Yeah, yeah. It's deep. It's so deep. Right. I can it's like you're linear. Isn't God's linear? Yeah. Like the axioms that define authenticity for you aren't the same axioms that would define authenticity for someone else. It's just like defining authenticity through axioms is the important part. And then yeah those axioms aren't like straight linear sometimes like you know what I'm saying. Yeah I felt that like sometimes it's like having long hair means this to me now. But like having short hair was like the thing to me before. And then when I was a kid, I was like, there's something different, you know? I'm saying it's all. It's all changing all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Transformation being authentic self I think there is that authentic self path that's the optimal no. If it is you it's like ironically the easiest thing to do. Just be yourself. But it's also the hardest thing to do or like there's something preventing us from doing it. Being the stuff that we would want to be. If you could be anything, we need to be reminded for sure. Remember who you are. It's like a big motif in people's lives. It's like, be you. This was the time. How I told my daughter about school is just like, just be yourself. Like, you can't. You can't fail. You know, just the actually the best chance of succeeding have is just like being you. Be authentic. Like if you fail, fail being authentic and you'll pass. So do you understand these these times. Okay. That by your crazy. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta be Harry Potter sometimes. I'm sorry. That's hard. It's super backward advice, but it's the. I'm sorry. This is the best I got. Sit down and watch these seven movies. Could you I know, read the seven books, kid. Okay, don't get old enough. I got some John Snow. Do you, anything cool going on in your life and uncle stories now? Just been really the. The butterfly stuff has been really prevalent over the last couple weeks. With the new spot time change. I feel like it's a new chapter, that lots of things feel different now. Fucking get thrown in a loop. Time change played into it too. It's there. Yeah. Going through a new spot. New. It's new figuring it out. Figure out what's the new thing that makes it new. Something to be figured out. You're new there and it's new. Yeah. It's completely new squared. Come on New York Times. Yeah. Nothing really crazy. Crazy or nothing, I guess. No stories at the top of the dome, I guess the the the butterfly was the sort of thing I still do. Kind of on the part of than before. The part about. Yeah. Just seeing the butterflies on the TV show on the the wall was like, that was that was crazy. What does it mean to you? Because it's like on one hand, it could just mean that you are going through transformation. It can also be direction like pointing towards like the the branding of the thing. So it's like, you know, are both true at the same time. And that would make sense too, if it's just like dimensionally deep. Yeah. I mean, just true. I guess it within my story of the different, I guess, like transformation at the level of base like personality, which we which I guess you can call your personality, whatever it is, the thing or the lens that you like, filter your thoughts through. And it's like transforming that. We we talked about that earlier in the part about hopefully transforming that into someone who does work out or does the thing, or doesn't do the thing that you don't want to do. So we have the ability to transform that aspect of our, whatever, I guess at that level, but then outwards to so transformation at that level, that maybe outward expansion and transformation of maybe I'm not saying I'm looking like move, but like if you do move to a new place or like a new, a new thing, I have a new spot now, like a new job, a new way, making money. So that is like also a new thing. Level transformation. But then I guess also the implication is with the butterfly there's like beautiful transformation, you know, an upward transformation. There's more objectively transcendent transformation. Yeah. Yeah. Fly now. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Hopefully that means yeah I went to the expenses of the marketing in the 38, the music and the podcast and Understanding of whatever's going on maximizing my truth and authentic self. Yeah, hopefully getting more expression of that. But living in a reality where I am that thing and that reality, that's the one that we want. Yeah. I gotta remember that. Hold that. Keep the make it. Sure that's the one you want. That's the easiest thing. Yeah. Think so. The the the the doing marketing full time is like a scary thing. That's a scary job. But also I'm like evaluating when we're there and stuff like that too. Lately trying to figure out like monthly income and stuff like that. And then there's just like a point where it's like. And then I guess at that point right there, we would no longer work a day job, we would just work on the company and then like, I'm like, that would be fucking crazy. I can't even, like wrap my mind around it fully. So we've all we worked a job since we were like, out of college, you know, or out of my parent's house. You're working for that? Yeah, it's it's like working a job to, like, support. Sure. But then if we could just, like, do the marketing, like, schedule the meetings and on the computer and like, I'm like, that would be something I've never seen before. That'd be unchartered territory. Completely very new. Yeah. Yeah. Like ultra like that's it. And I'm like, okay, we gotta kind of like, let this, like, black hole, black hole time. Everything destroys for that. Just like, go to that, go to that, go to that. Don't get caught up in anything else. Get there. And then like, totally just like just sail to England. Like if you're a Viking, like, get in the complete water, complete chaos, and then make it to England and be like, oh my gosh, now I'm someone who, like, eats at Japan. Yeah. We come. Yeah. It's a different transform transformation. Oh evolve or transform. And I think always this was I think what we've referred to like the thing this keeps on churning this this the wheels of life is keep on moving. Yeah. It's like we are going through a constant transformation forever. Yeah. Every day. It's just a I think it's the ideal way to best transform for the most beautiful transformation that's beyond your comprehension is to die to self and try to give God the will. And it's like sometimes your reception isn't that great. It's really hard to do that. And then you have to you have to fall on your own character and your own willpower to try to truly make the right decision and then come to the like, analysis, film room of watching it afterwards objectively and trying to identify as I did. I do want your best. Okay. And and it didn't my did me doing my true best result in like a really good thing. There's like no it's like okay, well then was me doing my true best. Was my definition of true best truly aligned with the true best and was like, I believe so. Okay, well then regardless of the outcome is fine. Yeah, yeah. That's like failing without authenticity is passing. And you get true data. That's the other important thing. True data is critical. So like I actually know that this is actually true because I actually did something that was real. Yeah. We we can, we can, we can turn them, we can not break the matrix but we can definitely influence a matrix. You can change your story, you can transform. That's hard. And like I just can't do it I promise it's there. Yes. That you might a huge cookie. You might break your teeth. It's like that's true too. So it's just like I'm gonna lose 100 pounds right now. It's like you might not make it on this time on that goal, but also your capacity to transform is still there. It's like discouraged. It's like I was someone said that there's like a thousand people that died on the way to Mount Everest because they were trying to go too fast. It's like that happens to people, you know? But but getting to Mount Everest does exist. Getting to the top is real. But you could also die along the way. Most people do. Most people maybe not now, but I would say that most people fail to their goals than achieve their goals. And it's like for sure. Yeah for sure. Yeah that's super real. So you get to navigate those waters. It's like I'm playing a game that most people don't win. How do I play that? How do I do that? You know, how do I want a game? Most people don't win. So you get two levels deep. It's like someone's like. Executing tyranny over you. And you're like, But I'm terrorized. I'm like, yeah, they're playing the game of tyranny. It's like, do like shielding yourself from the terrorizing won't fix the fact that you're existing in tyranny. So, like, you're going to have to play like this if you want to, like, actually, like win or you want things to get better. It's like the game is like, it's like you're playing a game within a game. And then getting to the outermost level is like the most optimal way to operate in it. But it's hard to do that for sure. It's like being naive and like, yeah, realizing like, oh, I'm in a matrix. Oh fuck yeah. Yeah, we've been given some dominion in this matrix thing off of that. But yeah, dude, that's, that's, that's pretty much that's pretty much the on the forefront as far, far as, like things in life are about yourself. That's cool. Basketball is good to the notable good feel good colloquial good Monday or something else that happened in basketball. That was cool. This guy's just found the shit out of me yesterday or last week when I played, and then I just guarded him and locked him down. Nice. Felt good. I don't know what there's something about that. It's also just like I was more afraid in guarding him because I had place importance on stopping him versus like anything else I had done the entire time I played basketball. I was like, it's just because I put importance on it that drives anxiety. Significance. Yeah, yeah. And maybe it was significant. There was definitely like an authority assertion happening between that matchup. It's like somebody is going to come out as the dominant player here. And then I had a nice block, felt really good. Like, hey, I'm not on that guy. A different guy just like came across the block for help side and like jumped up to like stop a floater. And just like fully slapped it with the palm of my hand, like, throw that shit out of here, yo. Big guys get the feel that all the time. That's cool that I'm a half. That's gonna feel great. No my house. When Biyombo hit the Michael Jordan palm it was cool was fun. It was it was a fun time. There's something significant in there. Like it was also just fun times. Yeah I don't know I feel weird with the time change my fingers being long. Just change realities. It's like, what's that? Changed realities? Dude, you seen the butterfly in the TV show? Was like, so trippy. It's so trippy. And just talking to I had sworn in. I was like, that was like, extra weird, right? So, like, it's actually weird for me for sure. For sure, if I just watch it by myself because there was a like whenever I was single and like, like watching movies and stuff, like they were there'd be portions where I would like, just stand up off the couch and just like, salute you. I'm just salute God. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I was, I was, but I was like, okay. So that was really weird for me. Like, that's that tickle that felt the same with you as I was like kind of really out of place and really strange, like a significant moment that wasn't that was seemingly more than just random. Yeah. That's that's what I express in the question, but not with those words that she was like, yeah, super weird. Was like, okay, okay, for sure. I know what's going on. But like it, I like it happened and I, and I could smell link come coming. Yeah. So where did I, I don't know, I love it, I love the system where I think we're, We'll sign off for today. Anything else you wanted to talk to the beautiful people about? One last message of encouragement, you guys, on the form I got General Tony Robbins. Yeah. Me too. Yeah, you got nothing particular. Pray for somebody. That's a good one. Start praying for people. I've been feeling like a our story. It might not be in everyone's story, but everyone has a power to pray. Everyone has the authority. If you're like a true believer, and it's like, that's why it kind of defies truly. It's like, I got to talk with me and maybe it's a low level. I had the beginning, but at least if you're I want you step into like, okay, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll humor you in the start in this like, Jesus thing. Everybody have like, not as negative connotation, but it's like I'm, I'm doing this thing now for real. It's like, oh, I'll really pursue this. Then I give my life to Christ because you could, like, say you gave life to Christ, but then, you know, actions and actions and thousand words, whatever. But once you have the true heart of doing that, it's gonna be a low level perception phone call. But then eventually, after you go higher and higher and higher, you'll be able to feel as if you can, like take on the demons and like the demons are afraid of you. It's like, oh, I will add some power. The believers authority is like a there's a book that I was oh, I think she's just finished. Actually, I'm gonna read that one next. But you have the authority and I think everyone has the ability to pray. And some people are more articulate or less articulate. And even then, like, I consider myself to be moderately plus articulate and like sometimes I'm still like be saying prayers. I'm like, I wasn't. I didn't do the thing. I didn't do the thing. It's just like sometimes it's just it's hard to do the thing. It's worthy to try and pray out loud for people. Yeah. So if you ever have the opportunity to do that, yeah, for sure. If the Holy Spirit calling for you, yeah, you get around that. You could develop that over time if I'm pulling on. So pulling on your soul strings. Gotta go for it. Yeah. Anything for the people. Yeah. Thank God I let's say oh God I guess. Yeah. The, the expression of yourself is important. Especially something that's like in my heart lately it's like remember who you are. It's like Simba. There's something about like God made you. And then the best thing you can do is give it back to God. But like Jesus was a person in the store and like, you're not that person. So then you are something and it's like there are like express that express that. Like we needed Elijah to be Elijah, you know, like you need you got this. This ain't gonna work if you're not, like, trying to be a true expression of yourself. It's going to be a lot of like collateral back fall damage of just suffering, just extra suffering for no reason. I think that's part of maximizing God's glory is like Elijah or being your own version of you, which is the same thing Elijah did, is kind of like something that's in my like a parallel. I'm like, thank God he like, stood on something like, thank God he believed and had conviction and like was willing to stand on what he believed in and then he gets put into the Bible as like a reference point for that. It's like significant is, is it gets. So yeah. Fall guy and express yourself truly authentically to the best of your ability. We have limited interpretation of what is objectively true. But do your best to be objective, your best to be honest with your expression of that and your beliefs of that and how that influences your behavior. And be willing to be wrong and pray for people to follow God. Yeah, that's all we do till the end of time for the next billionaires. I see you soon.