EP1. What Is Your Golfing Story & Why Does Your Story Determine Your Golf

What is a golfing story and why are they important? Well, as human beings, we are a collection of stories. Some have been given to you by parents, teachers or coaches, and some you have told yourself.

Think about it, how many times do we say to ourselves on the golf course, "I've got to hole this putt" or "Don't mess this shot up" or "I am awful on the greens."

All of these are the stories we carry around with us and in this episode, Karl will introduce the concept of a story and why they are so powerful.

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Transcript

Ben Hacker: 0:03

Welcome to the Mind Caddie Podcast, the show that helps you improve your golf by improving the way you think. All of the ideas you hear in this podcast have been used by major champions and golfers at all levels, and brought to you by the coach who taught them Karl Morris. We bring you some of the most popular lessons found in the Mind Caddie app, as well as discussions with professional and amateur golfers about how they use their mental game to shoot better scores so you can learn from others and apply to your own game. I'm Ben, the co-founder of Mind Caddie, along with Karl Morris, who has spent the past 30 years working with golfers on their mental games. If you want to learn more, you can download the Mind Caddy app from the app store and access over a hundred audio lessons as well as scorecards and guided programs. Search Mind Caddy on the App Store today. In this week's episode, we talk about a golfing story. What is a golfing story and why they're important? Well, as human beings, we are a collection of stories. Some of them have been given to you by your parents, teachers or coaches, and some of them you've told yourself. Think about it. How many times do we say to ourselves on the golf course, I've got to hold this part, or don't mess this shot up, or, I am awful on the greens, or I've got a terrible slice. All of these are stories we carry around with us and in this episode, Carl will introduce the concept of a story, why they're so powerful, and what you can do to start changing your story to make sure you're carrying one that you want rather than one that's been given to you. So what is your golfing story and, and how does it play out? Is your story, the, the, the narrative that you carry around with you want of progress and success? Or is it, is it that a lot of people encounter on a frustration stalling and, and, and pretty much setbacks? The reason why I'm asking you about your story, Is in the past 30 years or so of coaching for me, the single most important concept that I've found that people need to understand if you're gonna make real progress with your game, any game, in fact, is to actually understand the power of your own story. What is a story and, and how can it possibly have such a big impact? Well, as human beings, we are basically just a collection of stories. It's how, it's how we as individuals, how we interpret what happens to us in the world, and, and then the narrative that we carry around with us about who we are and, and, and more importantly, what we're actually capable of. Some of the stories that you carry around with you will have been given to you by other people, perhaps parents, teachers, coaches. Also, a lot of their stories that we have, that we carry around, we ourselves will have been, will have been central in constructing the way that we see and the way that we interpret the world. So what is the power of a story? Well, if, if you hear a story enough times, guess what happens? It actually becomes your reality. It becomes your belief about you and the way you are interacting with the world at all levels. Now, specific to golf, your, your story is, is often. A, a, an unconscious perception of what you're capable of achieving out on the golf course and your levels of performance just to try and change your downswing or your impact position is, is gonna really have little. Long-term impact. If, if you can't change the underlying story and the underlying narrative about yourself and and your own capabilities, the, the story is kinda like the glue that holds performances together over a period of time. Now, with our time together here, what I'm gonna endeavor to do is to show you how to go about actually changing your story and creating a narrative that you want. As opposed to a narrative that's been given to you. All of the ideas that you're going to hear in this program have a, the base, a really good, solid ground grounding in science. The, the work of, of the very, very eminent Professor Timothy Wilson is central to this. And I, I'd recommend all of you, uh, all of you listening to this, to, to read. What I consider to be probably the most important book on the change process, which is called Redirect by, by Timothy Wilson, changing the stories that that, that we live by, I mean no less an authority than Daniel Gill, but actually says on the cover of this book, this may well be the single most important psychology book ever written. And that's from, from a very, very high, high authority. But for me, the premise is simple. That the stories that you carry around about yourself are either gonna be supportive or detrimental, and it's actually up to you. It's up to us to become the author of your own story as opposed to blindly acting out the script like a, like a kinda big part actor. Now as part of this, I, I want to introduce,'cause this is very, very important to make progress. I want you to, to introduce you to the concept of what I call the thinker and the prover with the premise that what the thinker thinks the prover proves. Think about that, what the thinker thinks the prove or prove. So in a, in a specific golfing context, let's imagine, let's imagine my putting story is one of, I can't put, or I'm, I'm poor on the greens. Poor putter. That's, that's the kind of underlying story. It's what, it's what I think about my capability, albeit at a, a sub, a subconscious level. So my thinker thinks, and my prover aims to prove. So what does my prover constantly go in search of evidence to support the story of my putting inability. Every three putt, every missed short put every uncomfortable feeling is an opportunity for my prover to prove that I can't do this. The story then grows legs and, and, and, and the law of expectancy kicks in. Even if I begin to put, well at the beginning of a round, the old thinker improver, a lurking stage left, ready to direct the play in a different direction. The psychological thermostat is always wanting to reset back to room temperature in effect, and get me back to where I normally am. I e missing puts, putting pooling. I put in badly. Now, if I then want to really cement this story even further, well probably a good idea would be to talk on and every available opportunity with other people of how bad the putting is, how bad my putting is. Only I've missed today, and how good I could be. If only I could put the story gets stronger and stronger, and then I start to build a shrine to bad ping. I mean, we're looking here specifically at Putin, but of course this principle applies to, to all areas of your game, all aspects, and and, and the overall story about your capability. Great anecdote. I've, I've repeated it many times on, on other programs, but it always was worth, it always is worth repeating the, the story of Harvey Pennick as he sat at the dinner table with two of his, uh, his students, Ben Crenshaw and Tom and Tom Kind both about to, to embark on a career on the p g a tour, if there was one single piece of advice, Mr. Pennick, that you'd give us to be successful on tour, what would it be? Tom Kit asked, The wise old coach thought for a moment then replied succinctly, make sure you go to dinner with good putters. Now what seems a flippant comment add at the heart of it's some genius in that Mr. Pennick knew that if you spent all of your time with people who believed they couldn't port, then listening to their story would inta would, would inevitably contaminate your story. Misery does indeed love company and it is very, very powerful. Just be so, just begin to think how much your own story, how much your own story has held you back. How often are you, you, you, how often do you, you can't wait to confirm your current story or existing story to other people. How, how eager are you to share your story with other people? Exchanging your story is not just about positive thinking. Because in my experience, positive thinking actually doesn't work. I'm gonna hold this, put, I'm gonna hold this, put, I'm gonna hold this put, oh dear. I've missed it. Often positive thinking is about trying to convince yourself of something that you don't really believe. Positive thinking is in effect, a prediction of something that you think is gonna happen in the future that you've really got no control over. We don't have control over. The ball stays on the green of, goes in the cup any more than we have of the ball actually ending up in the hole. There's too many variables, but what we'll see and what we'll explore, changing your story or editing your story is, is about something far more, far more robust, far stronger than just positive thinking. You, you'll have a set of principles that will actually keep you going through thick and thin re regardless of the outcome of a shot, regardless of the outcome of a hole, a port, or around editing. Your story is about taking control over the direction of your golf, but the very same principles apply. Apply just as strongly in in your life. Taking control of your life and, and basically your future destiny. The, the principle of the story doesn't just apply to your, your golf game. It applies to literally every aspect. The bigger game, the, the, the game of life. If we look to the power of a story in the, in, in the 1950s, the story of the, of the four minute Mile was, was a, was a powerful one. It, it sounds ridiculous now to hear it, but in the fifties it was called The Impossible Dream. And apparently a lot of people had heard the story that if a human being run a mile in less than four minutes, then there's a possibility that the heart could explode. Now imagine if you are an athlete in the 1950s and you're a mile runner. And you a, a very good one at that, and you are flying around the track faster than you've ever gone before so fast. In fact, there's a possibility that you could actually run the mile in less than four minutes. But somewhere in the recesses of your mind is a story that if you do that, your heart's gonna explode. What do your chances look like now, thinker and prover? The very fact that the four minute mile was called the impossible dream. What does that actually suggest that most people bought into the idea of now of course we know what happened to that impossible dream. On the, on the 6th of May, 1954 at iFLY Road, the, the track at Oxford University, a young, a young medical student, Roger Bannister, ran the mile in a time, three minutes, 59.4 seconds, and forever he changed the story of what was possible in that blue ribbon athletic pursuit. After Banister forever changed the story of the Mile really quickly. Numerous other athletes had actually achieved the impossible feat. The impossible dream was, was shattered in August, 1975. John Walker in New Zealander actually became the first man to run a mile in sub three minutes, 50 seconds. John Walker ran 135 sub four minute miles in his career. The current, the current record holder, El Guru from Morocco, it's actually three minutes, 43 seconds, three minutes, 43 seconds. How far away is that from the impossible? Now, when Banister had done the impossible, Did all, all the other runners suddenly get faster and fitter and stronger? Well, maybe they did, but, but surely what had fundamentally changed forever with the Mile was the story. The story had changed, and that is the power of changing your story and creating a space for, for future possibility. There's the old story, and then you get chance to create. The new story. So as we understand this, what we need to really look at is that before you get the chance to change your story, we actually need to be very, very clear what the current story actually is. The SAT nav system on your car's a great metaphor for this to get to get to where you want to go. It's vital that you punch in the right destination. Be really clear, giving precise instructions to that system. No good punching in Stockport when you want. Stockport Golf Club punch in the postcard for Stockport Golf Club and now we have a better, a much better chance of getting there. However, for the current Satnav technology to work, it has to know for it to work at all, it has to know what its current location is. Nothing else works. And then unless that is established, Once the current locations established are route towards the desired direction, the desired destination can actually be put together. It can be formulated. Now, you as a human being are no different. To create a new story, we have to be really clear on where we currently are. Now, this is where the practical side comes in. The real important part, and there's a bit of effort on your part, and you need to give yourself time to do this, but it is vitally important. What I want you to do is give yourself some time, once you've listened to this track, quiet place, get to a quiet place, get a pen and a couple of sheets of paper, and I want you to write out what your current story is. Just let the pen flow. What is the current story that you carry around with you about your golfing ability, about your capability? How do you talk to others about your game? How do you describe the aspects of your game? What are your, what are your current patterns? What are your habits? Which parts of your game are strong, and which parts of your game keep letting you down? What are your practice habits? Do you practice at all? And, and, and if you do, just be honest with yourself and, and ask yourself just, is your practice productive? Does it really transfer? What are you like in tournaments? Is there a big difference between friendly play, social golf, golfing, tournament play? How do you currently deal with the feelings that, of discomfort that the game gives you? How do you react when your game is less than its best? Yeah. What are your routines like when it comes to playing your shots? How much? How much do you think about your swing when you play? Do you think about it at all? Do you have loads of swing thoughts? How often, how often do you have golf lessons, and how do you react to those golf lessons? Just put, you can see the principle of this. I want you to put as much detail down about the current situation. It, it, it really is a, a, a vital exercise to write it out, put the detail down, and, and believe me, it, for me, as I said at the beginning, after over 30 years of working with, with this in the change process, in the excellent process, it's the biggest, this exercise is the biggest single lever in the process of beginning to change, beginning to improve, beginning to get where you want to go. So, Take that information. What I want you to do now is actually stop the program. Don't continue. Stop the program, get a piece of paper, get a pen, quiet area some time, and I want you to get this process done. You've established, you've done the exercise, you've established what your current story is, and the key question to ask yourself is, If you carry on with this current story, nothing changes. What is your golf gonna be like in the future? What is your golfing experience likely to turn out as? Just be honest and just take a moment to just go into the future and, and see what will happen. See how it will play out if you maintain this current story. As we said in track one, that the story that we run and the, and the script that we're following mostly is a, a subconscious level. We, we, we actually only see the, the effect of the story as the story binds us. It, it, it holds us to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. So now we've actually drawn that out. We've made ourselves aware of it. We've made it very clear and very conscious after that first exercise of what the, of what the current story is. Even by doing that, it actually loses some of its power because you've made yourself aware of it. You've made yourself aware of the narrative. But now let's, let's. Begin the process of creating the new story, the story that you actually want as opposed to the story that you've been given This. This next exercise is, As critical as the first one. This, this is the bit that now will, will hold everything else in place because after the first exercise about the current story, if we don't create a new story, there's the kind of a void emerges. We, we, we know that the, the existing story isn't what we want with our life, with our golf, but unless your brain has a map, Your brain needs a map to give it a direction to, to, to, unless there's a new map, the pull of the familiar will will be far too strong. We, we need to create a new map, a new direction for the brain to follow. Otherwise, all of the good intentions will, will lead nowhere. This is why most goal setting, most New Year's resolutions have little or no impact because they don't uncover, they don't dig deep enough to uncover the old story. Get it out on, on paper, write it out. It's the writing that, it's the, the vital thing. The research on this is very strong. So then what we need to do now is to create this new story. You then become the author, the director. Of your own story, you're taking control of, of, of the direction that you're moving in your life. You're taking control of, of what you want to achieve with your game. And when you start to see this happen, when you start to see progress, you'll get momentum that can build really, really quickly. It's amazing what can happen. When you break the old patterns and establish this map in the brain, and we'll talk about maps in the brain later when we talk about specifics of of golf shots, you'll see it through this entire breakthrough program. So, What I want you to do. Now, the next exercise, there is a bit of work in this program, but my goodness, unless we put some effort into this, we just keep repeating the same old stuff, you know, and looking for quick fixes. Going on YouTube, just hoping somebody can give us the answer. We need to stop all of that. You know this, this little bit of effort, this little bit of work can just make such a huge difference if you do it. So what we're gonna do now, Is, it's called the best possible self exercise. Again, the science is strong on it. And what happens with the best possible self exercise you're now gonna write out in detail again, as in the first exercise you're gonna write out in detail the golfer that you want to be the person that you want to and intend to be on the golf course. Be really clear on what you want from the game and what you'll need to do to actually get there. Again, go into, go into detail about how you, you, how are you gonna be different in, in ways that you deem to be important. What are you gonna do to build these skills? What are you gonna do, actually do physically to support this new narrative? How will you train differently? This whole program is about a breakthrough. You'll be training diff training differently, very differently than probably you've ever done before. So just go through each, each department of your game and, and, and set yourself a different direction. How, how are you gonna, how will you be on the golf course as a person? How will you, how will you carry yourself? How will you, how will you react to the inevitable bad shots? What kind of person are you gonna be for others to play golf with? How will, how will you deal with a poor score? How will you deal with a good score? How are you gonna react differently when you're playing well and you want to keep that score going? Write it down. Create that map, create that direction. What, what habits do you need to keep going with? What habits are currently good that support you? Write them down as part of the new story. And then what habits do you need to start to have perhaps more importantly, list the things that you need to do to start making progress. And again, equally importantly, what habits do you need to stop doing the more, the more detail that you put into this document? And you'll have this guidance, this template from me. But basically the best way to do this exercise is just to let the pen flow. As you did with the first exercise, when you let the pen flow about the current story, let the pla let the pen flow with the new story, create rich images, create this template for the brain to work, work towards. So you now, basically what you'll have is two sets of images in your brain. You'll have the image of the old story, and now you have the image of the new story. And then this is the key. What you now have is the chance to step out of the autopilot response, where you get to choose the way that you behave. You get, you get the choice in how you spend your day or your days. You get much, much clearer on what, on what a best possible future would look like. It's no different than an individual golf shot. It's the same principle you get. You get really clear on what you intend to do with a golf ball. You create the shot first in your mind, and then with this really crystal clear intention, your body has a, has a, has. Your body then has a chance to organize the movement to produce the shot, but the body can only organize movement when you've told it what to do. Clear intention is a very, very powerful force. Clear intention of the person you aim to become is just the same as clear intention on a shot. So you'll begin with this clear intention of the person you intend to become. You can then begin to organize movement, organize actions around that clarity of intent. Now in an ideal world, and this is a challenge with the, with the new story, in an ideal world, what I would want you to do is, is do this for five consecutive nights. You might not go into as the whole detail for five consecutive nights, but but aim after you've listened to this to write out the new story for five consecutive nights, really ingrain the detail. Really, really create the vividness of the map. Now, each time that you do this, you, you actually, you scratch a, a deeper groove in, into the structure of your brain. You create, you create a powerful, powerful vision. Uh, it, it is a, it is a, a challenging exercise to do this, but you think to write out a document for five nights that could actually influence a huge amount of your future enjoyment in life, would it be worth making that effort? I think so. If you, if you can't find the time to write it out, at the very, very least, Do it, do it one time and read over the document at night. Preferably write it out. But, but the very least, read over the document at night. Night is a nighttime is a, it powerful. It's a powerful time to do this because as you read, it's at night, you, you fall, you fall asleep. Having programmed, it's kind of like a self-hypnosis, you program a better direction for yourself in the future again. Research on this is pretty strong that doing this at night increases the potential of realization. It increases, you're hedging your betts. When, when I look at this and, and, and I, and I step back and I think, how crazy is it that we've not been taught how to do this? We were taught lots of things in school. Yeah. Many of them useful. We were taught, we were, we were taught how to design things in woodwork and metalwork and school. But what about designing your own life? Why would you, why would you not take the time to actually challenge a story that's holding you back? We don't, because it's far too easy to just keep the status quo going to not change anything to stay as you are. The homeostasis of familiarity, the mire of mediocrity, but challenge that, be active with this. You've invested in this program. Yeah. We'll get to the cool stuff about what you do in practice later and what you're gonna do out on the golf course and all that nice stuff. But this exercise is vital. The editing, the story, editing is such a vital part of this process. So once you've done this, You'll have this clearer roadmap in your brain. The new story, what the old story will do if you continue with it, but the new story, the description, the direction of who you are going to be in the future, the person that you want to be on the golf course, and that person being different than the old story.