An Evolving Man Podcast

Boarding School Syndrome in Women: Trauma, Hyper-Independence & Healing | Kara Blackmore | AEM #147

Piers Cross Episode 147

In this episode of An Evolving Man, Piers speaks with Kara Blackmore — a trauma-informed coach specialising in the long-term emotional and nervous system impacts of boarding school experiences, especially for women.

Kara shares her personal story: choosing boarding school at age 10, the shock of early separation, and the reality of living in an environment with minimal adult supervision, rigid control, and peer-led power dynamics. Together, Piers and Kara explore how emotional neglect and chronic stress can shape adulthood — from hyper-independence and people-pleasing to perfectionism, difficulty resting, and challenges with intimacy, trust, and receiving support.

This conversation is honest, powerful, and at times harrowing — but it also offers hope. Kara speaks about the healing journey: awareness, learning emotional language, inner child work, nervous system safety, and building a life that makes your “soul sing.”

Key themes include:

  • “I chose to go” and why childhood “choice” isn’t true consent
  • emotional neglect, lack of nurturing, and chronic loneliness
  • puberty, privacy, and missing maternal support
  • perfectionism/control as a survival strategy
  • why ex-boarders struggle to rest, receive, and ask for help
  • healing through awareness, compassion, and nervous system repair

Find Kara: https://karablackmorecoach.com/
https://www.facebook.com/kara.thompson.589

https://www.instagram.com/kara__blackmore_coach/ 

If you found this episode meaningful, please share it — these stories stay hidden for decades, and speaking them is how change happens.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community


Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/