An Evolving Man Podcast

The First Night: Boarding School Separation and the Psychology of Attachment

Piers Cross

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0:00 | 13:39

In this episode, Piers Cross explores the psychological impact of a child’s first night at boarding school and why it often becomes a lifelong emotional imprint.

Drawing on accounts from Richard Branson, Sebastian Faulks, and Peter Sykes, we examine what happens when children are separated from their families at a young age. Many remember intense fear, others remember nothing at all — a sign of dissociation.

Psychotherapist Joy Schaverien describes this moment as a “threshold experience.” It is not simple homesickness. It is a sudden loss of attachment figures, familiarity, identity, and safety.

This episode discusses:
 • separation and attachment
 • dissociation in childhood
 • why some memories are vivid and others blank
 • adult relationship difficulties
 • emotional disconnection in high achievers

Many adults who attended boarding school later become capable, resilient, and successful — yet struggle with intimacy, vulnerability, and feeling truly at home.

Understanding the beginning helps explain the adult patterns.

Website: https://compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast: An Evolving Man

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 


Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/