The Worship and Leadership Podcast

Family, Ministry, and the Rhythms That Hold It Together

• LifePoint Church • Season 4 • Episode 9

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Ever feel the tug-of-war between leading well at church and showing up well at home? We take that tension head-on, starting with 1 Timothy 3 and moving through real stories, practical tools, and the kind of honesty that helps you build rhythms instead of chasing “balance.” With Pastor Beau and Tiffany at the table, we look at why family is your first ministry, how character at home inevitably shapes leadership in public, and what it means to serve together so church becomes a shared joy, not an obligation.

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SPEAKER_04:

Hey, what's going on, everyone, and welcome to the Worship and Leadership Podcast. My name is Elmer Cunhas Jr., and like always, we're so glad that you are joining us right now for this moment. And like always, my friend Willie C. Simpson Jr.

SPEAKER_02:

Yo, what is it?

SPEAKER_04:

Hey, you're always excited. It's like all the time. All the time. All the time. All the time. It's always a party. It's always a party. It's always a party. And we got we got new friends in the room. Yes, we do. We got one of our co-hosts.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. They call her Tiffy Toe. They call her Tiffy the grocery store princess. They call her uh the the glitter gal, the glitter gangster y'all giving up.

SPEAKER_00:

Glitter gangster?

SPEAKER_02:

Come on now.

SPEAKER_04:

Team San Francisco here.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, I got glitter gangster. Y'all giving up for Tiffany. Hey. Good to see you again, Tiff. Yeah. And we got a special guest today in the room. He's super tall. He's six foot. Keep going. He is an avid hunter. He's a fisher of men. Hey. He is our tiny town campus pastor. Let's go. Y'all give it up. Pastor Bo Jensen. What up?

SPEAKER_04:

Hey. What's up? What's up? Come on. We're glad you're on, man. Well, thank you. So before we start, let's talk about your lunch. I haven't ate yet.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't want to talk about food.

SPEAKER_04:

I know me neither. I haven't ate yet either.

SPEAKER_01:

What did you eat today? Like today. Breakfast. For lunch, for lunch. Oh, chicken salad. Chicken salad. Chicken salad.

SPEAKER_04:

Like from he's an avid hunter. He's an avid hunter. He eats chicken salad. But he eats chicken salad.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I make it. I can tell you why I chose chicken salad for lunch. Because I did have some venison tenderloin that I considered bringing to the office and cooking in my skillet.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

But then I thought to myself, that's a lot to pack up and bring. But I didn't want to cook it at the house this morning and then have to warm it up because it's only, in my opinion, the best when it's fresh right off the blackstone or the smoker. So I decided that I would eat it later. All right. Okay. Cook it later.

SPEAKER_04:

You got dinner waiting for you. Man, that sounds delicious.

SPEAKER_01:

Kinda, sorta. It's still got to be cooked, but right.

SPEAKER_04:

Tiffany, do you like eating like deer and stuff?

SPEAKER_00:

I have never.

SPEAKER_04:

You've never.

SPEAKER_01:

Never had deer? That will change.

SPEAKER_00:

I have never.

SPEAKER_01:

That will change. You will take a bite. I have to say this. Every person that says they don't like deer meat, it's my mission to make them a piece of deer meat and let them try it and see if that can change their mind.

SPEAKER_00:

It's possible I've had deer jerky. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_01:

Deer jerky is not necessarily the same as having like a backstrap. Backstrap or tenderloin or something like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Backstrap.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. That's the fillet of a deer. So if you think of a of a beef and you would have a fillet, that's the fillet.

SPEAKER_00:

Very appetizing.

SPEAKER_01:

It's delicious. It's actually it's surprisingly, depending on how it's prepared, it's all about the cook and the chef and how you prepare it. Yep. You know.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm not knocking it. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01:

It's also how you again, there's an aging process that goes into the meat just like you do beef as well. But for more of that, you can check out the meat eater podcast for anything like that.

SPEAKER_02:

We're talking about Jesus here and the things that are in coming trimming soon. Like this is like inception, a podcast within a podcast.

SPEAKER_04:

And if you're vegetarian, you could join the vegetarian podcast.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. And call it sad and lonely. I'm excited today. Man, this is gonna be good. You got three Enneagram sevens in the room. Tiff, what are you gonna do with us?

SPEAKER_00:

Look, I think it's the only reason I'm here is because I'm not.

SPEAKER_02:

You're gonna keep us regulated. Oh man. You're gonna keep us regulated.

SPEAKER_04:

Or this would go really long.

SPEAKER_02:

It really would. This would be a four-hour episode. So today we're talking about. Elmer, what are we talking about? We're talking about family? Family. Ministry. And leadership attention. Yep. Yeah. Which is, I think, very apropos in this day and age because the opportunities to shepherd people have increased. Therefore, the navigating that pressure, the pressure that we navigate has also increased as well. So, Pastor Bo, I'm going to start with you just reading this scripture, and then I want us to unpack this. 1 Timothy chapter 3, starting at verse 4. This is the Apostle Paul, he's mentoring Timothy, a young pastor, and he's giving him some qualifications for leaders, for church leadership. He says he, I mean, that's gender specific, but really it's they, it's men or women that are leading, must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? So, but we'll start with you. Why is it important for us to really think about the home front first before we think about ministry outside the home and then we'll throw it to you, Tim?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, first, your family is your first ministry. And I may come across across as cliche, but I mean it's true. And so if you're not reaching your own family, if they are, I mean, if your wife is not submissive to God, then and this if she's not going to be submissive to you, and I think it's mutually like we mutually submit to one another. And then I think because you have shared values because of the love that you have for Jesus, then you create a culture in your home and your children are raised in this culture that hopefully it doesn't always because they have a mind of their own and they can make choices, they have personal responsibility, but hopefully you're setting the culture to where they're following Jesus as well. Yeah. I I personally believe that they're gonna follow Jesus because they live in my house, and then when you exit my house, the the the goal is that you'll continue to follow Jesus, but you live in my house, you're gonna follow Jesus. There's not a choice in the matter. So I don't know if I answered that appropriately or not, but your ministry is your family first, and then after that. But I also think we do ministry together as a family as well. So it's not just segregated, you know, it's we do it together. So our kids serve here together. They they don't look at being at church all day long as like a like a chore. Right. Like we, you know, our oldest, again, you didn't necessarily ask me to go to this direction, but our oldest is 16, probably speaking for her right now, but she can correct me if she watches this later. But she drives, but what we have kind of said is like, man, we're together as a family on a Sunday. We also live across town. We live in Woodlawn, which is where all God's people should live. Actually, let me re-write, let me scratch that from the record. Actually, everybody should not live there because I want to keep it a little bit rural. I like having a little space out there.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

But, you know, we drive in together as a family. Sometimes on Sunday mornings, it can be a struggle depending on, you know, how the rhythms of your kids getting ready and everything. But as a family, we come to church. And as a family, most Sundays we leave as a family from church. And our older girls, they serve, they sit a service and then they serve the rest of the services. My son, if he ever, he's our youngest, if he ever misses like all day long, he he actually kind of gets upset and he's like, I missed, you know, going to staff kids, or I missed, you know, going to small group, or I miss getting, you know, to get a snack. So it's never like it's never been a thing of can we not go to church on a Sunday. Again, I went off on a tangent here, so I'll pause and hopefully that helps. Yeah, it's great reflection.

SPEAKER_04:

No, and it's cool because it's not a punishment to them to come to church. And and we see them, we see them around here serving and and they're joyful and excited to be here. And so that that's that's a testament to both you and your wife and and just investing into them. And and they're not just coming because mom and dad said so. Like, you know, a lot a lot of kids just do that, and sure, up to adulthood, like you said earlier, when they get to make decisions for themselves, and you see a lot of young adults step away from the faith in the church because they've just lived through a relationship through their parents, you know, with the Lord, and you know, coming to church was just something they did with their family. But what you're instilling in your kids is like the value of coming to church, the value of their relationship with Jesus. Yep. And so it's really cool to see that.

SPEAKER_02:

So I love that. Tiffany, uh, you know, again, thinking through that passage, right? Paul says to Timothy, hey, anybody that wants to lead God's people must. Can you kind of speak to that? Because we don't think about it, we we we think of it as optional, like it's okay, like if my home's kind of in disarray, but can you just kind of draw the parallel between how you lead at home and how you're gonna lead God's people?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think what Pastor Bo said is great. And I think just that consistency. What you know you expect at home. Like, I'm not one person at home and one person at church and one person at the grocery store. Like, right. God is the Lord of my life, no matter where I am. And and they're the He's the Lord of my children's lives. Like, and they need to, it's it's my responsibility to teach them and train them in that. And I also think another important part of that is as you grow in leadership, the enemy is going to attack your household. And he's gonna come after your household. And I don't want my children to be unprepared for that and to know that that they have victory in the Lord, that their identity is in the Lord, that, you know, all of those things, it's it's our job to prepare that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So I I, you know, I think the further you get in leadership, that is very important.

SPEAKER_02:

That's good. Yeah. It really is a pattern. The way you lead at home. A a buddy of mine, he's a former Marine, he would he would say, Willie, the way you do anything is the way you do everything. So the way I communicate at home, right, the way I lead at home, the way I pray, the way I read the Bible, the way I encourage people, even the way I behave when I'm stressed, all of that's gonna leak out. Like you can't you can't hide that for long anyway. Like if I am seriously, if I'm a grump and just like a curmudgeon at home, that will leak out.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

To to to to God's people externally for sure.

SPEAKER_04:

And I do wanted to differentiate though, like, and I'm saying this because I'm very much this way, just a little bit, yeah, a little inside information. It's easier for me to clean up my office at at work at church than it would be for to for me to maintain my space at home. Even though I'm like, I want to keep both spaces clean. Right, but it's also like I'll I'll probably tend to invest a lot more time here. I I don't know if it's because I'm here a lot or what. But there's people that, and that's why I want to mention this so we don't get it confused, where your your personality is, and we're saying lead at home as you would in other places, you know, but there's times where you feel so much safer at home where it's like where you just let your hair down and I'll do the laundry later, I'll wash the dishes later, you know, I'll put on my clothes later. And then so things are a little bit more chaotic at home. And then you go into workspaces and with other people, your relationships, and it's a lot more tidy and cleaned up and you know, in order. And and so we're not saying that that's a bad thing. We're we're we're not talking about like your uh your your patterns of your hygiene and hopefully you're taking showers and brushing your teeth, you know. But we're we are talking about leadership, the tension and leader and how you're leading at home, leading your family, leading, leading yourself. You can have a messy bedroom, yeah, but still seek the Lord, you know, and stuff. And so those are the things that we're trying to address.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and since I think there's something that the Lord kind of showed me last night is kind of odd how he kind of showed this to me, but I got really convicted. I think conviction is from the Lord. Yesterday I was having a conversation with somebody. I asked him if he ever felt convicted from the Lord. I think conviction from the Lord is where the Lord is leading you through speaking to you and course correcting you, right? Right. And so last night uh we were at the ballpark, and my in-laws came to the game and they brought our niece as well, or it's our oldest niece from Rachel's side of the family. And you know, I was really excited to see her, you know, and she always is so over the top, joyful to see us. And so I was like greeting her and everything. And Joanna goes, You don't greet me like that. And I was like, Well, I feel like I grabbed you the other day and hugged you in the world. And she's like, But you don't go over the top like that, you know. And I was, and I have always, you know, ever since I was Rachel and I have been married with kids as they've gotten older, like it's so refreshing when you come inside and you know, your kids greet you and get excited that you're there. But as we have gotten busier in our life, we've just kind of at least I have, you know, we're coming in, we're trying to get supper ready, we're trying to get the next thing going. You know, my mom is my neighbor, so she's helping with our kids with homework, and then we come in. My mom's like, I'm out. And so we're trying to get homework going or get, you know, kids' lunches going. So we get into this like practical mode. And so I got really convicted last night with Joanna saying that to me. So I was like, I need to be better at greeting my whole entire family when I get home instead of going into just complete practical mode, take a moment to greet them, you know. Not that we I don't do that, I just need to be more intentional of greeting them.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, and they and they learn that and they pick up on it and stuff. I I'm very much the same way. I'll walk in as tired as I feel, whatever, I put my bag down, walk in. Hey, you want to know how everyone's day went and stuff. Right. And so, and I and we do that with our kids because we want them to do it to us and stuff. And but as they grow older, they realize, oh, like you you don't really care, you know, then they don't care. And so come on, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Praise the Lord. Another example from scripture, this is an interesting passage here, uh, Pastor Elmer, that that you chose. I was reading over it earlier, but I uh it does speak to the care that he has for those that he's leaving, even while he's on mission. So it's John chapter 19, starting at verse 26. So Jesus is on the cross and he is actively dying, like he's literally dying. Verse 26, when Jesus saw his mother, Mary, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, that's the apostle John, he said to his mother, Woman, behold your son. Then he said to the disciple, Behold your mother. And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. So even Jesus is he's living on mission, actively dying, literally dying, not just figuratively, but literally dying for the sins of humanity. And he his thought is directed towards his mother and towards his disciple. Uh-huh. And he's he's ensuring that his mother's cared for. And I just think that is just such a powerful example of it's two tensions. It's living on mission. It's like he has listen, nobody can obey for Jesus. So he's called to that. But at the same time, he's like, I I don't want to leave others in in in the fray. So I'm just gonna throw this on whoever wants to jump into that. I mean, can we just talk about Jesus' example and what can we learn from that on living on mission but also caring for others?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. I when I when I first moved to Texas when I was 20 years old, I I was asked to go and help a for a pastor friend who just taken over a church. And uh it was supposed to be six months, ended up being 13, 14 years in Texas. And I remember going there. I grew up with a really close family, close-knit family, loving Jesus and everything. And I remember moving to Texas, learning how to live on my own, and then I transitioned from actually like move living with a roommate to living with a church family. There was a family in the church, their son was off at Bible college, and he was just coming back, and they had a nice spare bedroom. They're like, Hey, why don't you just live with us? And that was weird at the beginning. But I I remember at the same time my parents would make room for missionaries. As when I was a kid, I remember that there would be you know missionaries that would stay with us, and so then I'm like, I guess this is what it feels like. Yeah, and then I I grew up with church being away from home where church family actually became family. And I remember when I got married with my wife, she's like, No, like that's not your family, like they're not blood, and this and that. And then when we moved to Australia, then she realized, you know, the importance that church family actually makes. Because the community that we had in in Australia and Sydney, they became our family. We were thousands of miles away from our actual family, biological families, and now you know, those that we were doing life with, community with, worshiping with, they became our family. We cried with them, we laughed with them, we partied with them, you know. And and that's the thing that when you view people the people of God, the church, sorry as I'm sorry, both laughing when you said you party with them. I was like, We partied, we partied. It was a holy party. Alsies know how to party. And down under, you know, and and it was it was powerful to see my wife realize, like, oh, now I understand what you meant that you know they are family. And it just took a you know, a whole journey down under, you know, for her to realize it. But it there there is power in when we re when we see those that we get to worship and do life with together in community in our church environment, that they are actually family. A lot of times we just interact with people and it's real transactional because we just go to church, we're not involved in the community in the life of our church, and so we miss that aspect that the reason Jesus was able to tell this disciple, hey, this is your mom. Yeah, how many interactions did he have with her already? Like they were probably in community already. Yeah, and he had he had shown her love, and you know, and she's shown him love, and it was probably an easy, you know, transaction in the sense of like, oh, I got you, I got you, you know. And so I I think it's just powerful for people to take that moment and realize, hey, okay, is it possible for other people to actually be family? And everyone has their own perspective of family, everyone's real protect. Some people are real protective, so some people everyone's family, you know, and depending on your culture, you know, and and so I don't know. I just that's been my experience.

SPEAKER_02:

That's powerful there. Uh Tiff, I'm gonna throw it to you and then you, Pastor.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think that does speak to the perspective of family because thinking about that verse, Jesus had brothers and sisters that that, you know, so I think he cared for his mom so much, knowing what she was witnessing and about to witness, that he wanted her to have a son that was gonna, you know, continue to comfort her and care for her and and follow Jesus and keep her, you know, on that path. So he not only cared for her physically, he cared for her spiritually. And and in that changing that perspective of what family looks like, yeah, you know, because he cared for her spirit as well, you know, not just her physical needs and and the culture at the time, you know, would have been maybe his brother or sister would have taken taken care.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's a good point. Just real quick if I thought with the Ubo. I mean, because it says, you know, the disciple whom Jesus loved took, took the mother home. So we don't know if she actually physically saw her own son die on the cross. And and and so what what a measure of grace Jesus has for his own mother. Because I mean, I mean, imagine a parent, you're watching your own child get crucified.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That's just what I mean, you know. So yeah, that I'm glad you you you brought that out there. Just the wisdom and the mercy that Jesus had. No, I gotta care for my mother spiritually as well. So, Pastor Bo, uh again, what about you, sir?

SPEAKER_01:

Ton of thoughts that go through my head. First, you see the humanity and the deity of Christ in that moment. So he's dying for the sins of the world, but at the same time, he's like, Ain't no woman like my mama. I gotta take care of my mama.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, it's so sometimes when you read scripture, you could read it a billion times, and then somebody might would read it like you just did, and you're like, Man, he had a mama that he was concerned about, uh, her well-being and her future. And man, it's just it's really just it makes you to me, it draws me even closer to Jesus, it makes me love Jesus more, it makes me want to serve Jesus more because of something that I feel like the other day, because of the adoption that we have in Christ, we've been grafted in as sons and daughters of God, that that adoption piece into this family makes it, even though you joke about this all the time, but you're like, I'm cousin Willie, I'm cousin Willie. Well, you're everybody's cousin. You, you know, you joke about that from stage, you you know, joke about it with people that you meet. Yeah, but the reality is you are we are brothers and sisters in Christ. And when I was growing up in church, you called everybody brother and sister. Come on. Really? Brother Lanham, brother, you know, brother Amen. Brother Amen. You know, there's just a lot of brothers and sisters out there, right? Yeah. And I think the the origins of that is the adoption piece in that we are, you know, brothers and sisters in Christ, right? So we're not just friends. I'm you are y'all are not just my friends, you're my brothers in Christ. She's my sister in Christ. And that helps me in my relationship with you approach you as a brother. Yeah. And I, you know, when and then when you're interacting with sisters in Christ, if you see them as your sister, you'll treat them appropriately. Come on, that's good, man. So that's kind of where my thought press goes to. And it also, because adoption is so close to my family, my grandparents were foster parents. They adopted my uncle, and huge shout out to my uncle Bobby. He's like my favorite uncle. Come on. You know, he got me tickets to the Vikings, you know, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on.

SPEAKER_01:

But, you know, I was talking to somebody the other day and I said, I would have missed out on the blessing of having my uncle Bobby in my life if two people didn't make a conscious decision, or actually three people. My grandparents, my biological grandparents that adopted him, made a conscious decision to adopt him. But also his mother made a conscious decision that she felt was right at the time of her life to give him to adoption. And her decision of a biological loss was my blessing. Her decision, 12 years prior to my birth, blessed me with a relationship and we're not blood related. Yeah. But yet, he's my uncle. Like he is my uncle. I text him all the time. Like we are tight. Yeah. And so when I think about the family of God, it's just so much deeper. It's so much deeper than the surface sometimes that we think through, and we we just casually sometimes we come to church, like you were saying earlier. No, it's a whole lot deeper than that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

If you see people as your brother and your sister, you see people as part of the family of God. And I don't know, it just it changes the way you behave, it changes the way you be you're interact with people.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, it's and it's something I like I I've been witnessing it in my men's small group that the guys that come in and they can they've they've embraced us as brothers, they allow us to speak into the issues that they're going to going through, I'm sorry. Oh and vice versa, and they can speak into they feel the liberty to hey, have you ever thought of this, or hey, can I pray for that? You know, but when when you don't when you don't see each other that way, the fact that we're called to be hold each other accountable and as brothers and sisters, you know, all these things, it's easy for us just to like, oh hey, they're they're none of my business. Right. They got their own thing going, you know, and so it becomes like I don't want to interfere with their life. No, but but as brothers and sisters, we have a right to just hey, hey, as your big brother, really, because I'm older than you, yeah, a few months, you know. I just want to speak into your life. And so, you know, it it's just a different dynamic. Yeah, and it it might sound like you you brought it up, it might sound old school, right? You know, or real children's.

SPEAKER_02:

Or traditional, traditional, yeah, yeah, kind of old-fashioned. You're right. And that's a good point. The the the the other side of that coin is I'm not offendable when my brother speaks into my life. Yeah, right? Yeah. Because you're my brother. It's not, man, who are you? You're some stranger. You know, you don't live in my house. Yeah, yeah, actually, we're in the family of God. So we're actually all in the same house. And it's funny, just one quick example, then a family example. So one of the men in my small group, uh, you know who he is. He just had a baby. And so he reached out, and so we have a, you know, it's a married small group, but then I have a men's chat, you know, for all the husbands. And so he hit us all up and he's like, brothers, this sleep deprivation is real. Help a brother out. And to his credit, he's recognizing, hey, there's some tension, and I want to love my wife well. And before I could respond, you know, typically I'm like the chief responder or whatever, right? All the guys are in there and they're just they're brutal. They're like, hey man, number one, suck it up. Your wife carried this baby for nine months. The trade-off is you lose a little hours of sleep. And then they were like, seriously, like I'm just telling you. And then one of the guys was like, put on some running shoes, man. Get out there and exercise. Make you like make yourself exhausted so you're not giving into the flesh. Like, seriously, they just told them, you're just gonna have to endure this. And I loved every bit of it. It was awesome. They were like, no, you're gonna have to endure it. We're like, yeah, man, you're just gonna have to. And I said, Maybe the Lord's just this is a grace area. Yeah, I'm trying to be pastoral. They're like, nah, they're like straight, brother. Like, nah, bruh. Embrace the suck. This too shall pass. And he's like, Oh, it's gonna pass. It's gonna pass, but but he said, but listen, he's grateful. It's like, man, I thank y'all so much. And we're like, hey man, we're in your corner, we're letting you know. And there's another guy who's got a baby on the way in our small group, and he's like, This is good, it's good for me to know what to anticipate. Let me and so he's like, so when I asked this question, I'm gonna know what to expect. So I ain't gonna ask it now.

SPEAKER_01:

Hey, let me tell you something. That's the easiest part of raising kids, right there. Right there, brother. I thought it was the hardest. Right. That was the easiest.

SPEAKER_02:

And I look back and I'm like, my, I miss those days.

SPEAKER_01:

Right? Right? It's crazy to think about that.

SPEAKER_02:

It is, it is.

SPEAKER_01:

But it was it was so much easier.

SPEAKER_02:

But a family example is, and I really appreciate that, but you were just talking through like growing up, you know, again, I'm a I'm a PK, and and and so when we pastor's kid, preacher's kid.

SPEAKER_00:

I thought he was gonna say a preschooler.

SPEAKER_02:

Preschooler. Yeah, I'm a I'm a pre-K. Sometimes I act like I'm in pre-K. It's the joy of the Lord. He said, hey, he said you got to be like a child into the kingdom. Like a child. In Jesus' name. Child that speaks or doesn't speak. He just said be a child. Goo goo. So you know what? Google Gaga. By the spirit. Goo goo gaga. Shut it by the Honda. Shut up. But I got a Kia. So actually a Chevy. Oh, GMT. You got a Ford. GMC. I got a GMC, yeah. I do have a GMC. But I'm looking at a Ford today. Hey. Praise God. Praise God. So growing up, your ministry family. I remember when when we PCS'd here in the late 80s. So my dad's in the army, but then he's also a pastor. And so he he connects with a pastor at Bolin Springs Baptist Church off a tiny town road.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh he gets installed as the associate pastor. Like in, you know, in our faith tradition, we didn't use like executive pastor, but he's an associate pastor. And so he's got preaching duties, leadership duties. And every fifth Sunday was communion Sunday. Every fifth Sunday was communion Sunday. And we, you know, we I remember the church program. This is old school. We had church programs, remember they had the board on the side of the wall with attendance and tithe and who gave all of that. This old school Tiff. Well, we had a we printed paper bulletins and we had what's called the sick and shut in list.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And those are the folks that was. Members of the church, but they couldn't physically get to the church. And so my dad would go visit. And I just remember my dad would preach. And I mean, you know, we had one service, but that service was three and a half hours long. We'd have one service, and there'd be 12 people on that list, and we would drive all around town, on post, off post, all around town, and we'd visit everybody on the sick and shedding list. And on that fifth Sunday, we'd give them communion. We would go do communion with them.

SPEAKER_04:

That was awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

And I mean, so that Sunday, I mean, we wouldn't get home to probably like 10:30, almost 11 o'clock. But I just remember, especially from my mother, the patience and the tenderness that she had.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, we're, you know, we'd be in in people's homes, we'd be in a convalescence, they call a convalescent home. We didn't call a nurse home, convalescent home. You know, and and she would just sit and and it was more than just, hey, we're here to give you communion. It's no, we're here to sit with you.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And we're here to visit you. And I just, my dad would say sometimes, you know, son, son, some things are taught, most things are caught. And I just, I just caught that, that spirit of, I'm gonna sit with you, the ministry of presence. I'm just gonna sit, God bless you. I'm I'm just gonna sit with you. And I just learned that from my parents, just sitting the importance of just sitting with people. And she would sit with people that were probably on the verge of death. I mean, this is like this is the home that you're gonna die in. But for for them, it was everything. And what I'm the point I'm making is my dad would live on mission during the service because his mission was to preach the gospel. But he still had the bandwidth to care for those that might have been forgotten. You know what I mean? And so that that's just what I think of. It's deep, it's deep and it's wide. It's deep and it's wide. Lord Jesus, don't you trip now on hearphones? She escaped. She escaped.

SPEAKER_01:

She got raptured.

SPEAKER_04:

No, I I I I love that, dude. And again, it's easy for us to see that as old school. And but probably have I I think the three of us now that Tiffany stepped out, because she's having a coughing fit. Yeah. All the allergies. I think we've we both all all three of us have have witnessed that the way church used to be, and the way, you know, the modern church, you know, mega church, whatever you want to call it. And there's just something beautiful. It doesn't matter the size of the church. When you make it about others, it it allows you to to uh embrace others as your own family. Yes. You know, and I think about like James 5, like confess your sins to one another. It's hard just to confess to a random stranger. Yeah. You know, but when you're doing life with others and they're your brothers and sisters, it's easy to to share your hurts and pains and the things you're dealing with because now you you're not just going to them expecting nothing in return, but you know that they love you just as much. Yeah. That they're gonna they're gonna speak life over you and they're not gonna judge you, they're gonna be there to support you and encourage you. And so um, there's just something powerful about step.

SPEAKER_01:

Well then there's there's also in in the context of the family of God heard this at a like a breakout session at a conference one time, and I think it's my experience and what I've observed is that from people that are all in, they're a part of our whole entire vision, right? They're they come on Sundays, they're in a small group, they've gone through growth track and they serve on a dream team, and they're consistent in their service to a dream team. Right when Tiffany's back. She didn't get raptured. We're good.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm here. I got a drink of water.

SPEAKER_01:

If she's here, I know I'm good. What I've observed is that most of those people they'll never leave that church. And if and when they leave that church, it's most likely it's because a a brother or a sister or a friend that they're very close with left that church to go potentially move to go plant a church. Sometimes it's missional, but they'll they'll be there for the life of for their whole life. Yeah. And I've kind of observed that even with my mother, you know, took her forever. I mean, I I was trying to bribe her to come to Life Point. I mean, I tried everything, you know. And it was literally a church that I grew up in until they actually just closed their doors. It wasn't until she actually made that transition to come here. And it's because she was all in on the mission. She was there on Sundays. And back then, we were there on Sundays, Sunday evenings, Wednesday nights. I mean, we had church all the time. We had foot washing and communion. Y'all don't even know about that foot wash communion. Come on now. Let them know about that foot wash, man. Did y'all do foot washing?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, we did foot wash, man.

SPEAKER_01:

That's when you really know. Yes, sir. That you're a brother and you imagine these right here, buddy. I got a I had a trick on that though. I had a trick on that. This is this is funny. I don't know if we need to put it in the podcast, but I'm just can I just say that I'm grateful and thankful we don't do foot washing here at Life One Church. Thank you, Lord. But we would have foot washing and communion, and you would take communion upstairs, and you'd have worship service upstairs, you take communion. Then you would go downstairs in the basement, and the men would go into one room or one side of the basement, the women would go another, and you would have to go wash another. And that's but when you're a teenager, I'm like, I don't want to wash no man's feet. So then I had this broad idea. I was like, brother Bill only got one foot. Let me wash his foot.

SPEAKER_02:

It's foot washing, bro. Not feet washing, by the way.

SPEAKER_04:

He's gotta pick one.

SPEAKER_02:

So I chose him because he only had one.

SPEAKER_01:

Bad part is he had to wash mine. My Lord. And I had to. You had to.

SPEAKER_03:

That doesn't seem fair.

SPEAKER_02:

Brother, you got to be at the end of the deal.

SPEAKER_01:

Smart on that one. My problems come back. Shout out to Brother Bill. He was my Sunday school teacher.

SPEAKER_04:

You like Brother Bill, all the way up to your ankle.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, but I still I'm thank God we don't do that here at Life Point Shrek.

SPEAKER_02:

That would be a crazy dream team. Foot the foot washing team. It'd be a stinky one. My low one.

SPEAKER_04:

But nothing wrong with footwashing. No, Jesus did it in scripture. Sorry, I don't mean to make light of that. But it it's different. We're talking different. We're talking about old school and just the things we grew up with. And yeah, it is different.

SPEAKER_01:

But I tell you, I'll tell you this. It connected those people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And those people, those are the people that stayed and never left, and they were faithful and man, they were committed, and that's the family of God.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Praise the Lord. So I'm trying to bring it back full circle here.

SPEAKER_02:

Let's go. So so thinking through that, you know, we're again we're talking through leading well. Uh so inevitably we have to talk about boundaries.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Right? I mean, it it's it's wise to set up boundaries. So so often, this buzzword, it's it's used in we talk about work life balance. But I I think we all would agree balance is that's a pipe dream. Balance says everything has equal priority, and that's that's just that's a pipe dream. I think it's better to talk through rhythms. So let's just go around the room here and talk about what rhythms do you employ in your life so that you're able to live on mission and still value and prioritize your own family and your own household. Whoever wants to go first. Then everybody go at once. Meeny, meeny, miny.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, dang, dang.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I read a book a while back. It was a real estate book, and he was talking about a teeter totter, and he said it's almost impossible to have balance on a teeter totter. No, hold on. What's a teeter totter? You don't know what a teeter totter is. You from Alabama?

SPEAKER_02:

You don't know what a teeter totter is? Brother, because we call it a seesaw. It's a sea.

SPEAKER_01:

They don't have that no more. And they don't even you don't see them in the middle. Yeah. There ain't no teeter totter. But you know my name.

SPEAKER_04:

What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Those things are death machines. Oh no. Anyways, he said the analogy was that it's almost impossible to get balance in your life, you know. That was the first time I kind of ever heard that. And it was in a real estate book that I was reading because I was just curious about it, you know. And then he was just saying, you're trying your best to balance, but inevitably, there at some point in your life, there's going to be overbalance, right? You're going to just be loaded up. And so I do think there's seasons of your life that feel busy, there's seasons, there's rhythms. And I think you just have to acknowledge those seasons and you have to acknowledge it with your kids. Obviously, like the summertime for us slows down, or at least sometimes it seems like it, you know, July maybe slows down for us, you know, and so that's when we go on vacation. You know, and then, you know, Christmas time after our Christmas services, it's just a really nice time to be with family. So there's just we pick up these pockets, you know, spring break, you know, fall break. There's just different rhythms of the year with ministry and with, you know, and our kids just they've just this is all they've known. So I don't know. I again I think you just have to take the moments that you have and make the best of all the moments that you're in. Yeah. So when we're at the ballpark and we're busy, we're trying to be a witness for Christ. When we are, you know, in a season of our life where again, every season we're trying to be Christ-like, obviously. Yeah. But we just have to make the most of all the seasons that we found ourselves in. We don't get it right all the time. My wife gets it better than I do. But you know, it makes life fun, it makes life enjoyable. I'd rather, I'd almost rather, again, I'd rather be busy for the mission of God than be static or even like what we've heard or what we're gonna hear, you know, this coming up Sunday. I don't want to be a part of a church that's sleepy or asleep. Yeah, I want to be a part of church that's moving forward. And if you're a church that's moving forward, that means you have rhythms and you have seasons where you're you find yourself. I don't know if I like the term busy. Sure. Cause I don't ever want to be too busy for someone. Because people will make that comment. I know you're a busy person. No, I'm not too busy to help you.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01:

So, or I'm not too busy to to help disciple you, or I'm not too busy, you know, like I don't want to be too busy for people. I might be in a situation where I may have to call you back, I may have to take you back in an hour, right? But I I'm my goal is to always get back with people. Now I don't get it right every time, but that's my goal. Yeah. And I don't know if I'm making complete this complete sense here, but again, I think there's rhythms. I think there's times in our life where we're just gonna be busy and I may not get to see my kids as much as I would want to. But then I make up for it. And I've heard other people in other different careers, and I'm I've been in ministry for most of my adult life, so that's all my kids know, and that's all I know. But I've even heard, like, you know, we live in a military town, you know, they have to, they're gone for like if it's a fifth group guy, they're gone 90 days, however long. But when they come back, there's a guy, there's a guy, um, there's two kids, two brothers on our baseball team. His dad last season was deployed the whole season. He missed the whole season. But this season, he's here and man, he's present. He's at the games, he's cheering his kids on, like he's fully present, right? He's he's actively involved, even helped us in the dugout the first game, you know. And then I heard another podcast, I heard a podcast yesterday from a guy that's in a different business, and and he said, I'm pretty much gone six months out of the year, but he's he said I work six months out of the year away from my home and away from my wife and away from my kids. But he said, But when I'm home, I am fully present. Yeah. He said, I cook, I clean, I try to be super intentional with my time with my kids. And he said, I had to make a conscious decision when I chose this career field that yes, it sucks to leave my kids and my wife. Yeah, but when I do come back home, I'm fully engaged. And he just talked about all the different rhythms that they have when he's home. He's like, Man, we don't, we're not on TV. We're doing things, we're going on hikes as a family, we're just super engaged. And then he said, as my kids have actually grown up, he said, I've actually been able to take them with me when I've been able to go out and do business. And he said, that's a new rhythm that um I find myself in that I haven't ever been in since his kids have been born. He's got like his oldest was 15. So he said he just took his son with him for a whole week business trip. And he said, and he's in a business that he can afford to do that, right? But I just thought, I mean, this wasn't even a Christian podcast, but I thought, man, that's really, really good. That when he's home, he's fully present, fully engaged. And that is sometimes very challenging because when I go home, like well, when it was Monday night football night, you know, we come home from the ballpark. I'm like, let me see what these dolphins and jets are doing, even though that's the like the worst game, right? Or, you know, it's just so easy to disengage. It's so easy to just relax. Yeah. But, you know, my kids, I mean, I still need to go in and lay down and talk to them when they're about to go to bed, pray with them. I don't need to, I need to be fully engaged. So I took a really long time to do that, and I apologize.

SPEAKER_04:

But there's my yeah, my daughter says, she goes, I spend more time at school with my teachers than I do with you sometimes. Yeah. And just just in this reality, there's some days that I'm at I'm at church from like seven to nine o'clock at night, you know. Right. And so they're long days. And so that there are the days that we do have with our children and our spouses and our family are are few at times. And so we do have being present, and and you said you said the word, man, intentional. Yes, yeah. Like that has to be something that we we grasp on to being intentional, you know, with with our time.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. Even at the dinner table or you know, before school, we found sitting at the dinner table is great, but it was kind of like, so how was your day? And when you ask teenagers that, sometimes you get a one, sometimes you'll get a very long answer. But sometimes you'll get kind of like, it's good.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And then so we bought little conversation cards. Yeah. And they're in the middle of our table. And we'll pick we'll pick a card, you know, and it's just random questions that you hadn't thought about. But like, you know, we were kind of lacking in the okay, but like, you know, how's this? How is that? So it, I mean, just being intentional with that time, asking your kids questions, you wouldn't even think. I'm like, I'm finding things out about my kids. Like, I didn't know because I wouldn't have even thought to ask this question, you know? Just finding little spots to be intentional and they know we're listening. Our phones are not, you know, we are not looking at our phones or they're not at the table if you think you're gonna be tempted, you know, just whatever that looks like, be intentional. I I love that word. Just intention and always be re-evaluating. And ask your spouse because they'll see things you're not seeing, you know. Allow others to kind of speak into that and kind of just always be, we'll never have it all figured out. And as soon as you think you do, it's gonna change.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So always kind of be reevaluating what your time looks like, where you can be more intentional, what can be more flexible, what can be taken off your schedule. Yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Just always kind of, you know.

SPEAKER_02:

No, that's great. I love that. And I'm I'm really I love the two things you said that number one, always be reevaluating and and ask your spouse, ask your children because our families are mirrors, right? I mean, they they reflect to us. So it's like, man, if if it feels tense in the home and it feels like people are kind of, you know, grump, that might be a reflection of just a lack of intentionality for sure. Yet yesterday I was, you know, my wife and I, we were texting, and you know, she's a a school teacher, and you I could just tell that it was just it was just a hard day. It just was. And so I texted her, I said, hey, listen, I said, you can't say no to this, but I said, I'm taking you on a date. Just middle of the week, just random. Middle of the week, hey, we're going on a date. Told the kids, don't burn the house down. We'll be back. And it was great. We just, you know, we went out for sushi, and just midway through, Carolyn, she looks at me, she was like, Thank you. Just thank you for this. And so to your point, it's just recognizing. Let me just say that too, like you know, be creative with that time. When when I was in college, you know, Carolyn and I, we were we were dating, then we were engaged, and our college pastor, uh, Pastor Mark uh Welch, he just said, Willie, just you I know you don't need this advice now because we didn't have kids, but he said for kids, he said L-O-V-E equals T-I-M-E. Uh-uh. Like you just there's he's like, there's just no substitute for being there, for being present. Like you were just saying with that, you know, that that businessman. There's just no substitute for being present, and that's how kids interpret interpret that. Also, our children, our families, they're they're way more forgiving and understanding sometimes than we give them credit for. Like if I know that it's gonna be an extended stay away from the family, I just communicate that to them and they understand it. You're managing the expectations, but they know that the follow-up is gonna be, hey, when I'm back home, man, I'm taking you guys on a date, it's gonna be awesome. And so, you know, having two teenagers personally, what they're and your household's different. That's why you you have to know what season you're in. So the season for me now, having two teenagers is it's individualized conversation.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And they love staying up, they love to talk at night, especially my daughter Destiny. She, so I have to give her a bandwidth of 20 to 30 minutes. Go to bed. It's are you oh oh, I can tell you want to talk. And I learned that from Marianne on our team. And so just giving her space to just 20 or 30 minutes to just process and talk, but that's good for her. So we do the daddy-daughter dates, and then with Trey, it's it's our it's our guy time. And so either that's like going out, you know, to dinner or something like that, or we're we're playing, you know, Xbox and we're playing Madden, but as we're playing, he's just he's talking and he's processing. And the kids, they they appreciate that. They they feel like a priority, you know what I mean? And I'll just say this missionally, what's been impressive is to see the kids coming to me and Carolyn for the prayer needs of others. There was a young man in high school who Carolyn, uh, who destiny knows who got a severe brain injury and it it impacted her, and she's letting us know, can you pray for him? And then my son texts me yesterday, Dad, one of my classmates had a seizure. I need you to pray for him, you know? And it's like, man, thank God. I mean, he's leaving his his thought wasn't to panic, it was to pray.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Hey, and that's what he texted me, pray with me. And I'm like, let's pray, come on. So, you know, I text him a tongue, pray, come on, say this, he come on shaka. So that is the benefit of like, it's almost like living on mission, you can include your family in it. It that it's not compartmentalized, like, no, we're acting like you said earlier, man, we're we're on mission at the baseball field, wherever we're at. So I just but I love hearing all the different answers there.

SPEAKER_04:

I think like my wife has always been real intentional of when the kids are like, where are you going, dad? Like, oh, he's going to church. And obviously, the context in which you know I I serve at the church, work at the church. And so it's never been work. Like that's that's been like when people ask, Why do you say that? It's because it's not work. Like, I'm not leaving, I'm not doing this because I need to make money for a paycheck and this and that. No, we're called to serve people. So we've been teaching our kids from the beginning, like there's a calling on our lives, and we're we're called to serve people. We have, and and this is really hard nowadays, it doesn't happen a lot, but we've opened up our home. We have events in our home, like, and we welcome people into our home. And our kids, our kids, hey, go clean the bathrooms, go make sure there's no dirty underwear on the floor on the floor, you know, all these things. Go get get the house ready because people are coming over. Yeah, and and we pray over our home. God, make this a safe place for people where they feel your presence, all these things. Yeah. And then, like, but this is our house. No, this is a house God's given us, you know, and when people come over, we want them to feel how you feel. Like you feel welcomed, you feel safe. And so just our our journey with our own children has been, hey, we're called as a family to serve others. And it's looked different. Obviously, every season is different, right? Yeah, and but just exposing them to that to that intentionality, even when I leave to go to to come to church, you know, they they know, oh, I'm not just I'm not here because I'm trying to stay away from home, just killing time, you know. No, I'm here because there's people to reach through everything that we do. And so they again, like you were talking about, my kids love coming during the week. Like, can you just pick me up from school and just can we just go to church instead of taking them home? And there's times that yeah, and then they'll come and they'll ask, How can I help? And and kid point, how can I help? And uh, it's it's it's a way of uh of uh bringing them up. Excuse me. And I understand everyone listening, it this might not be your context, like you you might not work at a church in a ministry, but uh but it I think this the same heart behind it, right? You know, where where your ministry isn't necessarily the workplace, it's it's the people, it's the the engagement, what you do, you're it's an extension of your walk with Jesus. And so a lot of times it's easy for us to say, Well, I'm not a pastor, right? I'm not on staff at a church, but that's not God didn't say you could you could help people if you're a pastor. Right. He calls us all to make disciples, he calls us all to make a difference, to to love on people. And so when we're leading our family, again, we we can't latch on to the excuses of, oh, but that's not my title, my position. No, you're a child of God, you're a son and daughter of God. You know, and so as his children, we have to we have to put at the forefront the things that are important to God, and that's people. And so as we're leading our kids, as we're leading our families, as we're leading ourselves, because we keep saying kids, but there's some of you that are listening that you might not have children. Yeah, you might be you know a single parent, you might not be married at all right now. And so everyone's season looks different, but it but it what does come into you know what's related in all these fronts is that it's always about other people, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. And even the perspective of that, you know, teaching your kids, even your own sometimes, you know, you need your own little perspective shift, whether that's having a small group in your home on Tuesday, Tuesday nights. We have small group, you know. I don't want my kids to be like, oh, small, you know, like we get to have people in our house, you know, like you were saying about having people in your home. It's it's a perspective. And I think it's our job to to kind of guide our family in how things are seen in that perspective by example, by correction, by, you know, just in a bunch of different ways because your perspective on things, you know, it shapes a lot.

SPEAKER_04:

And you just said you said something that we believe and love around here, small groups.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, 100%. Like, come on. I mean, you you want to talk about being able to live on mission and also care for others. I would say if you're wondering, well, hey, where do I start? Start with community. Either a joining a small group, because sometimes it has to be modeled and patterned for you, right? Like uh Pastor Emma and I were talking yesterday about, you know, just small groups we run here, and you had asked me, hey, do we, you know, do we can somebody join midway through? And I said, absolutely. If somebody like newly gets saved, hey, put them in alpha, put them in rooted, because they have some community, right? That's better than zero community, but it you're patterning community life for them. So some of you, you need that life, you need you need that rhythm balance patterned and modeled for you. And some of you need to step up and lead a small group. Maybe that's how you you can live on mission in helping to disciple people and also care for them as as well. And I was gonna ask that question. I'm I'm glad that you you you broached that subject. I was gonna say, if somebody is saying, Man, I realize I'm out of alignment with my priorities, I was gonna go around the room and say, Can you give them like a note of practical encouragement? What what's a first step? We talked about smoke, but what are some other things that people can do to kind of right size these uh missional priorities? Oh, let's start with you, brother. Practically, yeah, just practical. Like, what's a practical next step?

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, you gotta put it in your calendar.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

I think if it's not in the calendar, you're gonna forget.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Just like even if it is in your calendar, you might forget. Just like this podcast. We were scheduled for one o'clock. Yeah. I thought it was 1 30, you know? So even if it's in your calendar, like I typically, you know, Rachel and I were having this conversation last night about our calendars. She's like, when do you look at your calendar? I'm like, typically the night before I look at the the next day and just review it. And then the next morning I'm looking at it over again, just double checking. I text you last night because we had something on our calendar, and I was like, is this accurate? Right. But I again, I just think, man, if your rhythm of your life is you're a high capacity leader, and honestly, even if you're not yet, but you aspire to be, and I think everybody should aspire to be a leader and should be aspire to be a high capacity leader because I think that's what Jesus actually calls us to do. I think you should get in the rhythm of using your calendar. And it is a very hard rhythm to get into. And if you need to, get a paper calendar, you know, carry around a full focus planner. Huge shout out to Michael Hyatt and his whole team. Like that helped me tremendously in a season of my life. And you can go online and order one of those and try it out. They got a bunch of videos that you can watch. That's a practical way that you can prioritize ministry and the health of your family.

SPEAKER_02:

That's good.

SPEAKER_01:

That's great. Tiff, what about you?

SPEAKER_00:

I think just have a list of questions that you regularly ask yourself, you know, and and what are what are your priorities? Is God, family, church, you know, like how how is that going? When is the last time I I've shared about Jesus with somebody? Because that's a good one. That's a good temperature about, you know, where you're at. Just just have a list of whether it's in a notebook, whether it's in make it personal to yourself, but just have a list of things that you regularly kind of can go through by yourself with your spouse, you know, like have some that you do on your own reflection, have some that you do together as a couple, and just spend time reflecting on that and and just knowing like these are things that I know. Yeah, sometimes I'll get off track with that I need a check-in.

unknown:

That's good.

SPEAKER_00:

And and just do it regularly.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on, I appreciate that. I love yeah, so just start with an assess, just do self-reflection. Come on now.

SPEAKER_00:

Because it's easy to just go and just think you're fine and you're just you know one degree off and you just keep on going that way. Come on, and you never stop and check.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's good. That's so good. Pastor Elmer, what about you, sir?

SPEAKER_04:

Just a man. Yeah, I'm with Bo. The calendar has been incredible. I it's something a discipline that has helped me tremendously. It it also helps my family know my rhythms when it comes to the things I I do in ministry and at home. So I have my own, I have a you know, we use Google around here, so I have my Google calendar and everything's on there. Yeah, but then at home we we we looked into all those digital fancy you know calendars that are available now. But we're like, you know what, let's just get a like a dry race calendar. Old school. So we have one in our kitchen. Yeah, yeah, and and we put everything like when our kids are leading here at church, serving at church, when when we have family things, when we have church things, friends coming over, you know, all we ever it's all their football games, practices, it's all on the calendar. And so then the kids, including chores and all that, so then the kids get to see the all right, this is the rhythm for this month. And so so not only are my wife and I aware of what's happening, but as a family, we know like we we give value to each of their events, yeah. So all of our even Levi, he's five years old, but he's excited because on the calendar it says he has a field trip at the end of the month. Yeah, it's like my name's out there, you know, and so he's like, Yeah, I got I'm valued. That's good. And so our calendar has become this thing, and sometimes when it's all just one person, we're like, oh, it's all about so-and-so, you know, and and but then it also helps recalibrate because then when when the kids are like, Oh, I really want to go to this thing, but I'm realizing you guys have really been helping me, you know, a lot of football or like a lot of hanging out with my friends, and so they they they're able to re-evaluate. Oh, I'm actually doing you guys as a family, I'm doing a lot, and let me make it more about my brother or my sister or us as a family. So it's been a real tool where we're able to calibrate, you know, what what should we do be doing together as a family and are we doing too much and things like that. So that's been that's been a great tool for us.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on. I love that. Yeah, we yeah, we've got two calendars. Yeah, it the the work calendar, and then we call it an all-family or Simpson family calendar. Yeah, but I like the idea of going to old school and write it down. Yeah, this is helpful.

SPEAKER_04:

That's really sometimes people will be racist. I'm like, who touched it?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we have a big giant one. And even like the kids seeing like they've got a date night with you know, mom or dad coming up, like if they feel like you're not being intentional with them, just seeing that on the calendar, knowing like you you're making time.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I might shift to that.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a great that's a great, that's that's really powerful. It's a conversational piece for later on. With my wife, like, hey, should we do that?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's that's right. I I like that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Because you can put, I mean, if you have it on there, you can't it was on the gallery. Which I mean, it's supposed to be on the digital one too, but it definitely gives you a practical way that you can't miss it if it's somewhere in the city.

SPEAKER_04:

And it gets you away from this thing. Like you know, obviously. Absolutely. Around the dinner table, we talked about getting away away from our phones and stuff like that. And we do the same. We don't use our phones at the table. Sometimes it's easy for someone to slip a phone. We're like, hey, they just throw it on the counter. But and it helps us stay away from the digital. We're so consumed by digital world.

SPEAKER_01:

And so it it just how big is that calendar? Like practically how big is it?

SPEAKER_04:

Probably about what's this?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's about right. About three by two foot. Three by two.

SPEAKER_02:

About three by two, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

We got a big giant. I can I can send you a link. Put a link in the description.

SPEAKER_02:

Put a link in the in the Slack channel over.

SPEAKER_04:

I know. And it's crazy how a simple calendar, and this is why I think it's important, and the reason I shared it, it's crazy how a simple simple calendar can help align the values of your home. It helps communication. Yep. You know, you're communicating, you're just not assuming things. Because if it's not on the calendar, then it's not gonna happen. And then so then your kids are like, but I had this. Well, you got to communicate, right? You know, so you're teaching them to communicate with the rest of the family, and and again, what's important and what's important, you look at your calendar, like you said, self-reflection. Look at your calendar and what is important. And I know there's a lot of people that you know, we our kids do sports, yeah, but you probably see more of serving at the church than you would, you know, sports and and practices and stuff. And so it's just a great way to reflect on like what is what is at the top of my life. Yeah, what am I what am I really investing myself into? And so the calendar just helps recalibrate and just evaluate all the stuff.

SPEAKER_01:

Where's that located in your home?

SPEAKER_04:

Right next to our refrigerator, right next to me.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's good. I like that. But yeah, and I was gonna say the one word I was thinking to was it's collaborative. Everybody has input. Yeah, even little Leah. I was like, hey, there's my name. Yeah, so I like that piece too. Yeah, that which you know the collaboration speaks to value. Hey, everybody's voice matters, all your rhythms matter. Yeah, so that's that's good. I really do want you to put that in the Slack channel for us.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, I'll say that's you.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, praise the Lord, man. Yes, sir. I enjoyed this conversation. Yeah, this was fantastic.

SPEAKER_04:

It's there's practical conversations that we need to have. Yeah, this is cool. And so for those of you that are listening, I know we're we're kind of having fun here talking, but just if there's any any way we can help, yeah. You know, there's the we we talked about small groups. Yes, we talked about practical things that in our own families and our own spaces have really worked. And so we're we're here to help you out. 100%. And so we're we're excited that we get to do this together, and so you'll you'll have the ability to just connect with our team and and uh we want to be a resource to you.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on. Yeah, hey, listen, thank you, Tiff and Pastor Bo. Seriously, thank y'all so much for coming on.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks for the invite.

SPEAKER_02:

We really did enjoy this conversation, man. Just so much good wisdom and and practical and encouragement going forth for sure. See ya. All right, peace out. Peace out, see ya.

Head Shot

Elmer Cañas Jr.

Host
Head Shot

Willie Simpson

Host
Contributor

Emily Himes

Co-host
Contributor

Tiffany Tackett

Co-host
Contributor

Beau Jensen

Guest

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