Kelly Quinn on Craft, Courage, and Building a Life in Acting

In this episode of The Private Lounge, Carmen sits down with actor Kelly Quinn for a candid, funny, and deeply honest conversation about the realities of building an acting career outside of Hollywood. Kelly opens up about her unexpected path from law enforcement to acting — including undercover work that required her to “blend in everywhere,” a skill she now recognizes as early training for the craft. 

Carmen and Kelly revisit their time studying with renowned acting coach Howard Fine, reflect on the shift from Los Angeles to Chicago’s more intimate casting landscape, and break down the surprising differences between the two markets. Kelly shares what it’s like to audition from anywhere — even a Disney hotel hallway while trying to film a full‑body slate — and how Chicago’s smaller community helped her gain traction and build meaningful creative relationships. 

They dive into the unglamorous truth of the industry, the emotional stamina required to face constant rejection, and the importance of creating your own work. Kelly talks about producing her first short, discovering sketch comedy, and learning to trust her instincts as an actor — especially after years of being told to tone herself down. She explains how embracing her authentic self transformed her auditions and made the work more joyful and alive. 

This episode is a grounded, generous look at the craft, the hustle, and the heart behind acting — perfect for anyone curious about the industry or navigating their own creative path.

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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth


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Transcript

[00:00:00] Carmen: Hey, Kelly. How you doing?

[00:00:02] Kelly: Good. How are you?

[00:00:03] Carmen: I'm so happy to have you here on this show. Welcome everybody to the private lounge. In the house is Kelly Quinn, actress, or should I say actor?

[00:00:12] Is that the appropriate term?

[00:00:14] Kelly: I, I don't care.

[00:00:15] Carmen: Yeah, I know. Okay. so we had you hang out with us. You had visited with us a while back, but we never did a proper interview. And so I wanted to touch base with you now that your career is at a whole other level and you've moved away from LA and I'm just dying to ask you like 15 questions.

[00:00:36] You ready?

[00:00:36] Kelly: Yeah, sure.

[00:00:37] Carmen: Okay. I know. I'm like, I, I'm not even like, how are you doing? What's up? I'm like, we need to get these questions through, but 

[00:00:44] Okay. All right. All right. So you've been acting now for how long? Uh, is it 10 years already?

[00:00:52] Kelly: no. Well, that's a complicated question, right? Because if you count like what I was doing in my law enforcement career as a type of acting, then it's a lot longer. But, um, uh.

[00:01:02] Carmen: Well, you know, you can't just bypass that. You gotta tell people now that you were

[00:01:06] Kelly: Uh, well, yeah, I did, I got to do some undercover stuff and stuff. That's like a form of undercover, but not like the deep, deep undercover, like, you know, not like that. But, um. It was a lot of acting because I had to blend in everywhere. Um, and you kind of had to come up with personas that fit your look or whatever, that were believable to talk your way into places, um, that you had no business being.

[00:01:33] So it was sort of a, it was a form of acting, I argue, but I think official acting classes, I didn't start those until 2018.

[00:01:43] Carmen: and that's when we met. We were in the same acting class together with Howard. Fine.

[00:01:48] Kelly: like, and of course right before the pandemic I was like, perfect timing.

[00:01:52] Carmen: It was right before the, the pandemic. And can I just say this, have you seen that they're going to Paris or something?

[00:01:58] Kelly: Yeah. Or Italy. I

[00:02:00] Carmen: Italy. Italy.

[00:02:01] Kelly: I was like, yeah, sign me up. If somebody will sponsor me, I'll, yeah. I'm like, I'll go. Does somebody wanna sort of GoFundMe? Can you pay for my Italy retreat? Thanks.

[00:02:12] Carmen: I was laughing because I was like, all of a sudden I'm back in the acting game. I'm like, I'm going with Howard flying to Italy. I was so excited.

[00:02:20] Kelly: was like, oh my gosh. I would, if, if, I mean, I don't know how in the world I could make, and I don't think it's badly priced for what they're doing. I just am like, yeah, I don't have that money lying

[00:02:30] Carmen: I would do it. If I had the money, I would totally do it. 'cause it seemed and and, okay, so we're talking about Howard Fine, who I will still say is one of the best. Instructors, coaches, acting coaches, uh, in the country. Uh, but he also teaches in Australia. I mean, he teaches all over the place. And there are many Oscar winners, award winners that he has worked with.

[00:02:53] Not that that even matters seriously. 'cause he, he doesn't name drop really, but.

[00:02:57] Kelly: No. He really not. Not that

[00:02:59] Carmen: doesn't really name drop, but we know. and he's a brilliant, brilliant teacher. And, and that's why you and I connected.

[00:03:07] Kelly: Yeah.

[00:03:08] Carmen: we were in the same class. Yeah. That's so weird. Uh, I kind of, it feels like it was just yesterday, but then it also feels like it wasn't, it feels like it was a long time ago.

[00:03:18] Kelly: yeah, it is. I mean, it is weird.

[00:03:20] Carmen: I do have some questions though about, um, I mean, I look it, I. Everyone knows I have my issues with cops, but, but is she a different kind of cop? And it's not all cops 'cause Kelly's cool. But you are no longer that you made this transition. You decided to become an actor. I think it's one of the best things you've ever done knowing that I've known you for as long as I have now.

[00:03:43] Kelly: I wish I could have done it sooner, I guess is

[00:03:47] Carmen: yeah. But you know, I, I think the trajectory of our lives does what it does. And you couldn't have done it sooner.

[00:03:54] Kelly: Yeah,

[00:03:55] Carmen: You weren't ready to. That's just the way the world, that's how I look at it. If not, you're gonna just go down that rabbit hole of sadness, you know? But here's my question. You left Los Angeles, you moved to Chicago.

[00:04:06] What is that difference like for an actor

[00:04:10] Kelly: Okay. Well, it's interesting because of course Chicago is still a medium big market, but it's not la LA is just. Huge, you know, thousands of casting directors. Um, it was an interesting place. You're just very much a very small fish in the ocean. Um, you know, a minnow in the ocean, if you will, just like the tiniest fish.

[00:04:38] Um, and then Chicago, there's like, there's about five main casting directors

[00:04:44] Carmen: I didn't know that. Really?

[00:04:45] Kelly: Yeah, it's really interesting, especially for commercials and stuff. There's like, there's five now there's a couple casting directors who are actually based out of LA who are casting the Chicago one shows and stuff.

[00:04:58] Obviously I don't, I mean, I, that to me doesn't count as a Chicago casting director, but they are casting the bigger shows, um, which is really interesting because. They used to be that the Chicago one shows were cast by Chicago casting directors,

[00:05:15] Carmen: Oh wow. So now that's

[00:05:17] Kelly: and now that's shifted. Um, but they still want, especially for the costars, they, they still predominantly want locals.

[00:05:27] And so it's interesting because. The, it's a big casting director, obviously, you know, there's a little bit of a sometimes dissonance of you're not knowing all your locals because you're not local to Chicago. But it's still been a great experience. I've been just, you know, fortunate enough to get to audition for those shows a fair few times.

[00:05:45] So the fact they even throw me an audition is like, thank you.

[00:05:49] Carmen: but do you like it? I mean. Besides the family thing and the work thing and the, you know, the family thing. Just as an actor, do you like it better in Chicago as an actor? Who's up and coming? Or would you rather be here? If you could make your choice, because I know you text me or something. We were texting and you were auditioning in Florida, like you happened to be in Florida, right?

[00:06:16] Wasn't that you Who was

[00:06:17] Kelly: Oh yeah. Well, yeah. I wasn't, I was auditioning, you know, like a self tape. I had self

[00:06:23] Carmen: Right, right, right.

[00:06:24] Kelly: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So.

[00:06:26] Carmen: but you're constantly like, it doesn't matter where you are, is what I'm saying. You're an actor. Actor and it doesn't, I mean, there, there's differences of being in Chicago from la, but what I'm saying is, is like you get an audition, you were in Florida, you're like, I need to stop.

[00:06:39] Oh, I need to do my audition. It.

[00:06:42] Kelly: That was, I mean, I had a, well, I didn't stop in the middle of the day. We were at Disney World, so I just didn't, you know, I went to sleep at midnight, um, and I literally was doing because. Of course they want the bane of all actors' existence. They wanted a full body slate. And I'm at a Disney hotel in the fricking hallway with the elevator, like trying.

[00:07:05] I'm like, okay, this is the widest wall with the best lighting, you know, to get this full body slate because you guys hate us. Um, like just ask for a picture, man. Um, anyway, but it, yeah, I think there's, to me, I didn't feel like I really. Maybe got a foothold until I got here. And I think because it's a slightly smaller, smaller market, um, and agents were like, oh, you have decent reels.

[00:07:35] You, yeah, we can work with that. Um, and so it just became initially just auditioning just for people. I think the big difference is the main casting directors here, they kind of wanna get to know you first. And so it's like. You might get all these auditions and then it's sort of as crickets, and you're, you're going, okay, was that good?

[00:07:57] Was that bad? And then finally it starts, they, they're used to you, so then they start calling you back again and you're, you're going, I, the first agent I was with, I was, I said, you know. It's been six months. Am I doing poorly? Should I take a class? How are these tapes looking to you? I just feel that I'm getting an audition.

[00:08:16] Then I don't get a call back. And they were very, they said, look, they don't know you yet. And I, and I'm going, coming from la I'm like, nobody knows you. What does that mean? Like, do I need to go down to the office and like, bring cookies? Like what? And they're like, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. It's just they're trying to see that you're, yeah, that you're consistent over time.

[00:08:34] With your performances because it's a smaller market, it's sort of a building of trust. And I was like, oh,

[00:08:40] Carmen: Yeah. And it's also just the, there's an amount of actors here that is ridiculous. I mean, you go to an audition here, there's easily 50 people, and it's one like 50 people of that one day of the week they're going to be auditioning. It's ridiculous. You know what I mean?

[00:08:57] Kelly: Yeah. So, and there's an interesting mix here too, with people who are making indies. So, you know, smaller and then bigger

[00:09:05] Carmen: people know what indies are. Independent

[00:09:08] Kelly: Oh, independent films. So you have, which I've, you know, I've literally, today after this, I'm going to film for a pilot for a local Chicago, which I'm really excited about.

[00:09:20] Um, that would be a Chicago, like local, independent pilot, you know, so it's, it's, it's like, oh, that's exciting. Um, and so you have a really, I think as an actor, I really love that there's that mix. I was fortunate enough to get to do a couple small shorts and indies with, um, pride. Pierce, who's a director out in, in, you know, la which I still love.

[00:09:45] Uh, um, I just wanna get back sometimes and we talk on the phone like, Hey, I just wanna come back and do another film with you. But, um, he really gave me my, in LA gave me my first role. Um, so that does exist out in Cali, but I think

[00:10:00] Carmen: Did you just do the, did you just call California, Cali? You been in Chicago too long? Oh.

[00:10:08] Kelly: I called Callie, Callie forever though. Um, but here I think it's a little bit easier to find opportunities and networking is easier. It's not quite as, uh, I wanna be careful with what I say, but it's easier in that the events are really people who wanna make, you know, it's like, well, yeah, let's make it, let's figure it out.

[00:10:32] Carmen: I'll say it because I'm in a different part of the industry. It's, it's pretty fake out here. There's a lot of, um. I, I think people mean well, but it's also just part of the verbiage, right? Like, oh, let's meet for lunch, definitely interested, blah, blah, blah. And then you call them, you reach out to them. They don't, so the networking thing isn't real out here.

[00:10:55] It feels That's

[00:10:57] Kelly: what I found out there is it was much more about. I'm gonna throw at you all the things I've done, and then I wanna see who you're connected with. Because really they're trying to see if you can move their career forward. It really had nothing to do about actually interfacing and being like, Hey, you seem like an interesting fellow, creative.

[00:11:14] Do you wanna make something? Do you wanna just try to make something together? Because I think that's such a huge thing now too, is while I'm auditioning, like I've had a lot of auditions this week, which is great, but also. Haven't booked anything, right? The, the bane of an actor. So you have to make your own stuff, which is the whole point of networking is trying to meet people to, okay, let's see if we can make a short together, can we put that together, um, something that we care about that we are writing, and at least just get it out there into the ether.

[00:11:45] Obviously, it's not gonna be an Oscar winner, but you know,

[00:11:48] Carmen: you don't know. There's a lot of shorts that, I mean, you know, they have that category you

[00:11:52] Kelly: Maybe we can get it into some film festivals. And here it was immediate, the first, the first networking thing I went to, which seemed small, and I'm doing this because I didn't realize the people that were there because they were so just real and down to earth and nobody was trying to be whatever.

[00:12:12] Um, I immediately connected with the writer. He sent me three scripts, and then I've made two of them now. Um, and one, the one of them he's forwarding to some people because he was so excited about the product, which of course wasn't just me. There was another lead actor and a whole production crew involved that were awesome.

[00:12:34] Um, and then I got from that, I also got another audition for a film with one of, and it was just sort of a immediate, and they just wanted to know about you. Like, who are you, you know, what are,

[00:12:44] Carmen: like just to safeguard it a little bit just to I, because I am gonna defend Hollywood like you do. I know you love this town. It's also, there's just, there is a lot of people here and everybody wants something from somebody. So it does, because knowing the people that I know, 'cause people know I work or have worked for some, um, let's just say a-list people, a-list, celebrities.

[00:13:06] The truth of the matter is, is at those other levels, even that midsection level. Those things actually do happen, right? People are creating, and, and I, I just think it's a hard business. I think what I love about you is that you are like, you know what? I'm not gonna let this defeat me. I'm going to do what I need to do to find my way through it.

[00:13:27] And that's why you are successful. That's why you are doing so well. You know what I mean?

[00:13:32] Kelly: Yeah. And I don't know if that's just a little bit of delusion, you know, like any actor like you, you're going, I'm gonna make it work 'cause I think it's gonna work. And you just sort of convince yourself that it's gonna happen.

[00:13:43] Carmen: But isn't that the whole, I mean, don't you kind of have to do that?

[00:13:48] Kelly: I think so. I think part of the delusion is. You realize, if you realize you love it. And I, I, I'm kind of thinking of, um, a clip of an interview that was with Don Cheadle and he said, anytime I talk to actors, I said, well, do you wanna be an actor or do you wanna be famous? Because if you wanna be an actor, there's a lot of stuff you can be doing.

[00:14:09] What, what question are you really asking me? Essentially is what he's saying. And I think what a, i, I don't have an interest in being famous. I actually think a lot of the stuff that comes with fame is. Difficult. Um,

[00:14:21] Carmen: really hard and people don't get that. People do not get

[00:14:24] Kelly: yeah. The more I've gotten into. Studying and just doing craft, you know, working on my craft, whether I'm in a conservatory or actually I've, you know, now delved into writing, which is like a whole different world and try and I produced my first short, which I'm not, it was not great because it was the first I was, I wasn't trying to be the producer and then everyone dropped out and I was like, oh, I guess I'm doing it.

[00:14:48] Um, which I don't recommend for your first co producer like

[00:14:52] Carmen: Hey, but it's experience. All

[00:14:53] Kelly: I, I was like, this isn't how I wanted to make my entrance in this way. Um, but I just have been more about, oh wow, this is all I wanna do, so any way I can do it. I, regardless of whether or not I'm gonna ever be on a big screen right now, I think I, I've had a, like this year I met as, again, somebody I met through a networking thing here.

[00:15:16] Um, she is part of a sketch comedy group that does live performances. I just mentioned to her, I was like, you know, that would be something I'm so interested in. 'cause I never got to do my stage acting bug because it got poo-pooed when I was a kid. And I actually, that's where I fell in love with acting. I loved the theater, I loved Tech Week.

[00:15:35] I loved the people, I loved the rehearsals and all that stuff. And I just never got to get into that part, which is where most people

[00:15:41] Carmen: I think theater is like, this is my thing. As much as I love Howard fine and I love a lot of people I've worked with as far as coaches, at the end of the day, I always tell people, I don't care how many acting classes you take, if you don't get on stage in theater and do something. Just, it doesn't matter.

[00:15:57] Community theater, whatever, you're, you're never going to know what that feels like. You gotta do it, you gotta do the work. At some point you have to stop studying it and you have to do the work and that's what you are doing.

[00:16:07] Kelly: So I just mentioned to her, I was like, that's so cool. And she was like, oh. Or we, you know, you could be a part of this group. We just gotta see a sample of your writing and then we can audition you. And I was, I go, I was like, what? So.

[00:16:21] Carmen: exciting.

[00:16:21] Kelly: I mean, I, my audition won't be till March, my in-person audition, but I was, it was also like, oh, I gotta write, like I show that I can write a sketch, right?

[00:16:29] What? Can't I write a sketch? I don't know. Um, you know, people take classes for that stuff. So anyway, I, I, I'm excited about that because I think it will be so fun. And it's obviously, this is small beans, right? This is gonna be in a small venue and we're not talking about second

[00:16:44] Carmen: You need to. Okay. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna step in now because you're doing what you always do. Stop it. Stop belittling it.

[00:16:51] Kelly: It's not,

[00:16:52] Carmen: it. Small venue, it's not gonna matter. And then

[00:16:55] Kelly: yeah. And it don't matter to me because it'll be so exciting to be with this group of people on stage in a totally different format

[00:17:02] Carmen: I know, but isn't this what we need to, because again, we, we want to inspire other young actors, other people, right. This is what we do. This is how we do it. I mean, so what would you say is the myth? About the acting world that maybe somebody who is up and coming may not realize,

[00:17:24] Kelly: That it's glamorous.

[00:17:25] Carmen: ah, you know?

[00:17:26] Kelly: It's, it's like the most unglamorous thing I think, because people are seeing a award. I'm like, if you've been in the nitty gritty in a scene, it, the last thing that's going on is glamorous and I've got to work background on a couple big sets, like dark matter, you know. That's not, it's not glamorous in any way.

[00:17:46] Like you are in an environment that was not ideal. Um, these people are doing these takes over and over again, and these are outstanding actors.

[00:17:57] Carmen: Ugh. I think that, I think that's the thing about film acting. I can't stand, I really, I mean, it's hard. Yeah.

[00:18:03] Kelly: It's, which is sort of goes to what Don Cheadle is saying, do you love acting or do you just think you wanna be cool? Because it's not about that.

[00:18:12] It's, it's about you're trying to discover, almost like you're trying to find, which might not make sense. You're trying to discover new parts of yourself and, and allow it to come up somehow, which is terrifying. Um. And it can, some people see it as a high, for me. The vulnerability can be scary, but you're sort of trying to chase that in the flavor of whatever the character is.

[00:18:39] And to do that, you have to be just completely open to what's gonna happen. You can't

[00:18:44] Carmen: So why do you like that so much?

[00:18:47] Kelly: I think because I spent so much of my first part of my life pushing everything down and not integrating my emotions,

[00:18:55] Carmen: Yeah.

[00:18:56] Kelly: like just going, oh, I'm just gonna ignore everything. So now it's almost, I mean, I, I do think I went to therapy first and I'm still go to therapy like you should be doing a

[00:19:07] Carmen: be in if you're an actor. For sure.

[00:19:10] Kelly: which has been helpful. And also just allowing me to not be afraid of having emotions. As weird as that sounds, um, trying to help my nervous system heal. Uh, but it's, it's almost like, oh wow, this is a much fuller way of living life. Not trying to suppress things all the times or allowing something to move through you and realize that's what it's supposed to do.

[00:19:33] It's supposed to come up and then it's gone. It's not supposed to be just sort of, although depending on the character you're playing, you might be playing a character that's kind of

[00:19:41] Carmen: Right, but that's still you investigating the feelings and the background and the information of that character in order to do that, so you're still actually working on that part of it. I think the thing that people get confused about when it comes to fame, 'cause I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing.

[00:19:57] I mean, people wanna be famous, that's fine. But you can do that anywhere. You can do that on social media, you can do

[00:20:02] Kelly: I'll be a social media influencer. Way easier in my opinion. Not that that's easy, but what I'm saying is if you enjoy making videos and things, that is not going to be quite as torturous as what I think some forms of acting

[00:20:18] Carmen: But here's what I was gonna say is I know a lot of people who were nobody. Whatever. They were just starting out and then they became who they are. And I tell you, the fame part is the part they hate the most. It kills them every day. You know what I mean? It, it, it is the most bothers and it's, you would think like, wait, what do you mean?

[00:20:40] And of course if, if we mention who they are, 'cause I know, you know, some of them like you. You would think, oh no, they love fame. No, they don't. They are acting when they are in front of that camera, whether it's an interview or, but it torches them. And I'm not saying everyone, I'm not saying everyone has some big issue with fame.

[00:20:55] I'm just saying it's not what you think it is. And if you wanna be an actor, you're completely right, Kelly. It is a, it, it's an art, it's a skill. It's all of these things, you know, it's

[00:21:07] Kelly: Yeah. And to me with

[00:21:09] Carmen: and.

[00:21:10] Kelly: it, it's some of the most exciting times I've had, have always been with another actor in a scene. Where there's, even if it's in class where you're going, oh, this is a really, like, there's some like third level your brain is going, this is really interesting connection we're having.

[00:21:30] And it's always sort of a back and forth where I've only had a couple times where I felt like I had very good chemistry with somebody. It was not a romantic thing at all. It was just a, whoa, we're like on the same. FM channel in this scene. And it was such a cool feeling. And I feel like to me sometimes, like almost that's what I'm chasing if I'm in a scene with somebody.

[00:21:53] It's just trying to get to how are we connecting in this? And it, it, it's all, you can't plan that, I guess, is what I'm

[00:22:05] Carmen: Well, I mean, I think that also has a lot to do with casting as well. And a good director can you, you can't

[00:22:11] Kelly: A good director? Yes, a good director. I think like this last short I did, the director, it was so interesting. He had us do a rehearsal and he only had us do it for an hour. And the couple exercises he put us through, I just was like, oh wow, this is interesting. I haven't done this before, but both of us were like, okay, we're game.

[00:22:29] And he was a younger director, uh, you know, comparatively to us, but we were both like, we're, you know, we're gonna respect what you're telling us. And it was so interesting. And he got us probably just to right where we were getting somewhere, and he was like, all right, we're done. Because I don't want you guys to have your best moments in rehearsal.

[00:22:48] I just wanted you guys to sort of start building that connection and then, you know, next week we're filming and I was like, to me that was a very good director because it was sort of just getting us to exercise it maybe and just make sure we're connecting and, and then, oh, okay, now we're gonna wait.

[00:23:06] Carmen: I, I, I think that's what people don't understand is, and they forget the film, television theater is a collaborative art form. So we may cast Kelly in something and then, you know, cast Brad or whoever. And a good caching director can tell chemistry, you know what I mean? Kind of. But sometimes it doesn't work, even if you initially think it is.

[00:23:29] And then the director has to come in and do something like what you're just talking about. And I think, to me, that's the fascinating part. And then all the other stuff that's happening around, you know, the lighting, the makeup, the, there's just so much happening. Even when it is a, a small film or an independent film or stage or whatever it is, you

[00:23:47] Kelly: Mm-hmm.

[00:23:48] Carmen: That's so fascinating. Um, what's the hardest part of the industry that nobody prepares you for?

[00:23:57] Kelly: I think it gets talked about a lot, actually, but I think the reality of it. People don't take seriously until they're sort of experiencing. They're experiencing it is you need to have a life outside of acting.

[00:24:13] Carmen: Hmm. Hmm.

[00:24:14] Kelly: You need to be able to understand that just because you don't book the role or you don't get the callback, you have to have the ability to let it go.

[00:24:26] And not marinate on it and go, oh my gosh, they hate me because I, the more success I've had has always come when I made a choice and I was just like, you know what? This is my version of it. Like, I am not gonna try to keep fitting into, you know, when you were in the. Oh, okay. This is the product you want.

[00:24:50] Okay, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna try to do this product. And it's not even that necessarily that comes across, it just comes across stale because it's like, here's the version and it's not. Even when I watched some of those self tapes, I'm like, I get it. It, it was, here was a generic example of this character, but it wasn't personal.

[00:25:08] When I decided to go, you know what, like, there's been a couple where I didn't even read the character breakdown. I'm not recommending this by the way, but I didn't, I just thought I read the script and was like, oh, I'm doing it this way because this is the way for me that it will work. I know that I'm strong in this.

[00:25:25] This is my take on this script and I'm gonna do it. I did it and then I ended up reading the character and I submitted it like it was out, and then I read the character breakdown. I was like, oh my gosh. I did exactly what they asked for, but I didn't even look at it ahead of time. And that was just me making a choice of, I'm gonna do it this way because this is where it hits me when I'm reading it.

[00:25:48] It's hitting me here. This is what I'm gonna lean into and I'm not gonna think about it too much and then I'm not gonna worry about it. Like, because if you. It will eat you alive every day. You'll just go, I didn't get a callback. I didn't get, I didn't book that role. I really wanted that role. And especially the more

[00:26:06] Carmen: hurt your feelings, though. I mean, it does,

[00:26:09] Kelly: course.

[00:26:09] Well, and sometimes what I think also, nobody talks about, and I, I've had this experience too with casting directors. It's not always the best actor that books.

[00:26:21] Carmen: It's never the best actor that

[00:26:23] Kelly: Um, sometimes, and most of the time it has to do with all these other factors that are completely unrelated to the actual

[00:26:30] Carmen: course. I'll give you an example of how I know that's exactly true because when I worked at a company where we cast a lot of commercials, you know, um, even in that, because there's a story, if it's a good director or whatever. Like if they're trying to sell something and they want it to be to a certain community, like let's say they, they wanna make sure that they get the Latin flavor or whatever.

[00:26:54] You, Kelly, could be the best actress on the planet. They're not gonna cast you because you don't look like Jennifer Lopez or whatever. You know what I mean? Like it doesn't matter if you come in with the accent and everything, which, but I mean, that's an extreme example, but that's just to give people a little bit of a breakdown.

[00:27:10] But yeah, you're absolutely right. Um, it's not always the best actor.

[00:27:14] Kelly: yeah, so I think those two things dealing with rejection, but to me it's not even rejection. It's just, oh, we needed a different flavor. You know? If you think about it, like cereals, we needed Frosted Flakes and you were Cheerios.

[00:27:27] Carmen: Right.

[00:27:28] Kelly: Or you know, are we gonna argue about what cereals better? It's, it depends, right?

[00:27:32] It depends on what you like, so,

[00:27:34] Carmen: I, I remember doing like a great audition and thinking there's, they are so calling me back. I know. I remember leaving the studio like, and, and I, I think I was in Burbank and I was like, I know I'm getting a call. Nothing cricket. And then I remember going in and doing like the worst. I was like, oh my God, I was horrible.

[00:27:55] And getting a callback and being like.

[00:27:58] Kelly: Yeah, I, I've had that and I've even had my agent be like, this is ama, like, which my agent. Here, or I have two agents here, but the one of them, she's, she does not give praise lightly. So normally she'll, she'll just say submitted. And so if she gives you like, this was great. It's like, because she just doesn't normally say that and she's like, this was amazing.

[00:28:18] Or, and, and then nothing. And I was like, okay. You know, like was like you said, like, I was like, oh, I got that. I'm for sure getting a call back. Nope. And then ones that you're like. You know where I did a self taped one for a commercial that was a, it's movement without sound, which those are hard to do. I always find those hard.

[00:28:38] And I was like, there's just no way I'm getting a callback on this. I don't know, whatever. And then the next week callback, I was like for the, for the one where I just, you know what? So you're just going, what? I dunno anymore. So you have, I think that's the part of trying to analyze. Why you did or didn't, you gotta let it go.

[00:28:58] I think it's good to look at it from a constructive, I'm gonna take three things from this self tape or this audition that I did well, and maybe two things that I could improve on. That could be your own self-analysis. Just to kind of give yourself something and then let it go. Like try to let it go because you just have, you don't have any control over what they're, and you don't know either.

[00:29:20] They might, that person or casting director might be like. We love her. She's not right for this, but this other project coming up

[00:29:28] Carmen: Right. Well, that's what you always hope. I mean, that's always the hope, you know what I mean? That even if you, you're not right for this project that you might be for something else. Um,

[00:29:37] Kelly: you don't know. Yeah.

[00:29:38] Carmen: well, we're talking about re relationships with rejection, right? So. How do you think you've grown dealing with rejection?

[00:29:47] I mean, I think you kind of just said it, but what was it like when you were here versus now that you're, you said five years you've been in Chica, you have

[00:29:55] Kelly: Yeah, this is year five.

[00:29:57] Carmen: come on.

[00:29:59] Kelly: No.

[00:29:59] Carmen: That's weird to me. Okay. All right.

[00:30:02] Kelly: Um, what I think in LA I was much more still in the, I'm trying to give you the perfect product. And whether that's technically with self-tapes. And to be fair, I was also learning a lot. I was just learning how to even, what, what is a good self-tape? I

[00:30:20] Carmen: They've really changed to all self tape now. Huh?

[00:30:23] Kelly: Yeah.

[00:30:24] And the couple in-person auditions I did, it was actually nice to, like, I actually, I, I, everybody has different feelings. I liked it. I was like, oh, I have a real reader. Like I just have somebody to look at, um, not my computer screen or

[00:30:37] Carmen: it's, it's, it's, I think it can go either way because I was, in the time period of where it was, there was no self tapes. You had to go. I think the problem wasn't act. I mean, yes, I loved being in the room when you got in the room, but when you're going to five or six auditions a week and you're working full time and you're driving in traffic and, and then you'd get there even if you had a minute to take a breath or whatever, you just weren't.

[00:31:04] Like I totally can see why self-tapes, at least the initial, but if you get the callback, they bring you in now. Right.

[00:31:09] Kelly: No, it's Zoom most of the time, dude. Don't even get me started on Zoom callback.

[00:31:14] Carmen: Wait, wait, wait, wait. So it's really, God, it's not been that long since I haven't auditioned, but,

[00:31:19] Kelly: on the pro. I'll say this, it depends on the project and it depends on the casting director and how big the project is. Like some of 'em, they're just gonna book you straight from the self tape. Like it's not, they're not even gonna do a callback. It'll just be, we'll book you from here. Others, like the one commercial that I got a call back on, the reason it was virtual is because of how they had to pair people and the.

[00:31:43] Director was not physically in Chicago. They were physically somewhere else. And so they, they, that's why it was Zoom callback because they were pairing specific people together who might not actually both be in Chicago. And then the actual commercial director was like, I don't know, in an, in Detroit or something.

[00:32:01] And so it was over Zoom, but a lot of the stuff is Zoom callbacks, which is just, I have to take a, like, you have to take classes on this stuff because

[00:32:12] Carmen: are.

[00:32:13] Kelly: Well for me, because it's the idea of, okay, I'm generating chemistry with the box of the person. Do you see what I'm saying?

[00:32:23] Carmen: Yeah. Yeah. It's

[00:32:24] Kelly: now, can you do that?

[00:32:25] Of course. Uh, and I think once you get to a certain level of acting, you have to be able to do, you have to be able to do it. You need to be able to find a way to connect with people, regardless of

[00:32:34] Carmen: So, so we do a zoom callback, and then do you come in in person or do they book you from that now?

[00:32:41] Kelly: So then depending, again, it depends on the product. They might book you from that, or especially if it's commercial or something, they'll probably book you from that. Um, if it's a film, then you're probably gonna have an actual, like either chemistry read or they wanna see you. They want the producers to see you like in

[00:32:59] Carmen: In person. Yeah,

[00:33:00] Kelly: Um, so then you're gonna come in for that. But they're kind of. Producers would still be on the Zoom callback too, but it would be like, let's see now what happens in the room? How, you know, because again, some people might perform very well over Zoom and then get in the room and

[00:33:15] Carmen: My anxiety, as you're saying this is like, this is why I'm so glad I've stepped away. Like, I love acting, I love performing, but I, I'm gonna just create my own stuff. 'cause I, it's so much work and you still haven't booked the job

[00:33:28] Kelly: Correct. And you could get all to that level and get like. Pinned check, availed everything. And then they're like, oh, you know what? We're gonna go with Soandso. Who's,

[00:33:38] Carmen: You have to explain to people what that means. People don't know what

[00:33:41] Kelly: oh. So like check avail, you know, is just them checking your availability, which is a good sign. It means they really wanna, probably wanna book you and they wanna double check that you're actually available.

[00:33:51] Carmen: for the film dates that they're shooting and blah, blah, blah.

[00:33:53] Kelly: And then pinned is like, you are one of the top

[00:33:57] Carmen: three. Yeah.

[00:33:58] Kelly: Um, and so at that point you're sort of waiting to hear if you officially got it or not, but you can get to that. And then they're like, no. And there's still the, oh, we're gonna cast the producer's friend's daughter. That still happens where you're going, oh, the one who didn't have to audition for anything.

[00:34:21] Carmen: right.

[00:34:21] Kelly: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. But, but that's, I'm not saying that happens all the time, but I'm just saying you can get to. Get through all those hurdles and still not be cast. And you just, and the other part of it I think that is so hard is you just don't, like, there is no feedback of

[00:34:38] Carmen: Well, there's okay. That, that was a big deal when I was auditioning all the time. I hate, and that's here in la, in the LA market. No feedback whatsoever. Just doesn't help you at all because you don't know what you could have done. If there was anything,

[00:34:53] Kelly: I've still asked my Chicago director on a, uh, director agent on a couple things that were like for feature films where it was for a lead. And I asked her, I said, can you ask for feedback? Or is, how do you feel? Do you think that would look bad? I just curious. And she's like, we just, we're gonna just let it.

[00:35:12] And I'm like, okay. You know, so I take her, obviously I'm not gonna go and reach out to them on my own. So that's always sort of. I think for me as somebody coming from like an intensive athletic, you know, background, you know, just in law enforcement there was lots of training where you're getting feedback and you can perfect certain things.

[00:35:34] It's, I want the feedback to get better. It's not to ha, I think everybody wants feedback for different reasons. I don't want feedback because I need somebody to tell me I did a great job, I want feedback so I can improve. So the

[00:35:47] Carmen: I tell you what is worse than not getting feedback, okay, worse, and

[00:35:52] Kelly: told you suck.

[00:35:54] Carmen: What, what, what? What?

[00:35:55] Kelly: Getting told you suck. That

[00:35:56] Carmen: No, no, because no one will really do that. I mean, I, I mean, I hope not, but, uh, no, no, no. Booking the job and I booked a big movie. It's on my IMDB. I'm not gonna, I booked a huge job. Did the, you know, went and filmed it or whatever, and then you get cut from the movie

[00:36:13] Kelly: Right.

[00:36:13] Carmen: that,

[00:36:14] Kelly: all the time.

[00:36:15] Carmen: always be like.

[00:36:18] And you know, like you can ask whatever questions you want. And I remember, I mean, at the time I booked that on my own. I didn't even have an agent, big time movie. And, and you know, it was a different time period, but it was so. Odd, and the only feedback I got from the producer was it was a editing timing thing.

[00:36:37] We didn't need it when we, and I was like, and now that I do all this editing for this show and it's not the same, but now I understand it in a different way. Like there are just sometimes I cut things out that don't need to be there. It's not because it's not important, it's just you only have so much time.

[00:36:53] So it's, yeah, that will always be, I would rather get rejected. At the beginning of the process,

[00:37:00] Kelly: I agree.

[00:37:01] Carmen: and get cut out. So I'm

[00:37:02] Kelly: Yeah. Especially if you're having like a watch party with friends or whatever, and it's like, oh. Oh, actually, I'm not on it anymore.

[00:37:10] Carmen: so yeah, you never do that either. You learn that lesson really quick. Like you never tell people that you are gonna be in a show. Yeah, I've never done, thank God. I never told people like I waited. I knew that 'cause someone told me that right at the beginning. Don't ever, ever, ever tell people you're in a movie or in a TV show unless you absolutely know. Like unless you're the main character

[00:37:35] Kelly: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like, you know, you're not getting cut. Yeah,

[00:37:39] Carmen: You're the lead actor, don't, because you could get cut if you're just a guest starring role or whatever, you know?

[00:37:43] Uh, so, but yeah. Um, okay. What is the best piece of feedback you've ever gotten? Or maybe what's the worst? Mm-hmm.

[00:37:53] Kelly: I think the best, which I felt like, and it sort of circles back to the differences in how I felt as an actor in LA versus here, is I felt like in LA I, not with Howard, but with other people, it was not being myself there. It was more like, oh, well you come across this way, and it was like, oh, okay. Not with Howard, fine, but with some other coaches.

[00:38:16] And I felt like when I got here. The best advice through all. And it was sort of through all the different, the, the two main studios that I went to, they were like, every time they, I got the best feedback, it was like, oh, see, when you're yourself, we all buy it. And I was like, my brain was like, I was told that I was too intense.

[00:38:37] I was too whatever. I was too. And you're saying that's actually working and they're going, who told you that? You know, and it was such an interesting. Well, I'm not gonna, you know, they're going No, no, no, no. The, the more of yourself that you access and allowed it to organically come forward

[00:38:58] Carmen: Mm-hmm.

[00:38:59] Kelly: and you can't be thinking about how you look.

[00:39:02] You know, you can't be going, did I make a weird face? Did I move my eyebrows too much? You know? All the things that actors tend to do. I mean, that we do, that totally sabotage us being able to be in the moment and have the performance If you're just allowing your true self to come forward, um, o obviously if you have a character, you're sort of, you know, in the confines of that, that's what's gonna set you apart because nobody can be you.

[00:39:26] Nobody can be you. We're the only you. And that's when people go, whoa, that was interesting. What

[00:39:31] Carmen: Well, it's so interesting that you're talking about some, um, 'cause I know some of the classes you've taken, I know the coaches you're talking about, and I'll say for myself, there's a reason why and I went to another acting, huge acting studio here in Los Angeles and I ended up leaving because there were coaches. Howard fine. You love and thrive on your success as an actor because he's not in any regret mode that he's not a famous actor. Like, 'cause that's not his thing, you know? And, and, and I think that's, I'm just saying this for people who may be starting out as actors or whatever. 'cause I wanna try to make this also a service for other people.

[00:40:14] When you are working with an acting coach. You don't wanna be working with somebody whose real vain is that they didn't make it as an actor. I'm sorry. And it's a tough one because you are not gonna notice it until you're in the class, unless someone else tells you. But yeah, that's kind of what you're talking about.

[00:40:35] They're not, look, they're telling everything that's wrong with you. 'cause they're like projecting.

[00:40:39] Kelly: Yep. And once I started to actually believe it, 'cause it took me a while to believe it, that's when I started having the most fun. You have to enjoy auditioning because that's most of what you do. And then I started to really enjoy auditioning because I started to really lean in to the parts of me that I felt were the most connected to the character in that scene or whatever.

[00:41:03] Or even commercials, which are totally not necessarily a character. Um, and it was just, how do I have fun with breaking the rules of this audition? Actually, can I come in the camera this way and

[00:41:14] Carmen: is why you're better than I will ever be as an actor. 'cause I hate, I hate auditioning on every I, I, I, that's why I no longer do it. I, and, and, and you have to be honest with who you are. Like, if you can't get to the place that you're at, then you shouldn't be an actor because it's, auditioning is hard work.

[00:41:33] It's

[00:41:33] Kelly: lemme tell you, I mean. I've had a lot of auditions come in this week, which is amazing, but it's also, I have a day job today, thankfully, because most of the people I work with work for the federal government. It's a holiday for them. So I can work, work from home. Um,

[00:41:48] Carmen: What federal holiday is it?

[00:41:50] Kelly: it's the, it's before what's next Monday?

[00:41:52] Me, Monday is President's Day, I think.

[00:41:54] Carmen: Oh, is it? Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right, you're

[00:41:56] Kelly: Um, so they also give them the Friday off.

[00:41:59] Carmen: Oh, got it. Okay. Okay. I was so confused. I'm like, am I supposed to be at work? Okay. I was confused. Okay.

[00:42:04] Kelly: Yeah. And then I have three kids that are young, and so it's like as soon as I get home from my dead job, I got my second job. I mean, I love them,

[00:42:14] Carmen: so now, so I wasn't gonna bring up her children like, but that's what makes it even more incredible that you're doing

[00:42:20] Kelly: So then it's, you know, anytime, A lot of times self tapes are, you know, nine 30 at night and I, and they come in, felt like I, I had, yeah.

[00:42:30] Anyway, I had an episode for a pilot come in. It was five scenes. And they were like, we need you to do this as fast as possible. I was like, okay.

[00:42:38] Carmen: I think it's incredible that you do it with the three kids and they're all young. Um, but I think that shows you also your dedication and, uh, and your whole family's in on it. Like your husband's supportive, everybody, your in-laws.

[00:42:52] Kelly: Much better than a lot of people have. I have a lot of support who are cheering me on. My husband's amazing with it. He's, he's the one that told me he, he's the one, I mean, if I ever win an award ever, it will be the first thing outta my mouth. Like, remember

[00:43:06] Carmen: After Carmen, after thanking Carmen,

[00:43:08] Kelly: exactly.

[00:43:09] Remember? Remember when you told me what do you wanna do? And I said, I wanna take acting classes. And here we are, you know. He's, he, he sees all the work, he sees all the nos and he's just like, I don't get it. I'm like, honey, you can't, you gotta let it go. I was like, you gotta let it go for me 'cause I

[00:43:25] Carmen: hurting for you. Yeah, I love

[00:43:27] Kelly: Um, so, you know, it's, and it's also, you have to be, know that some of, maybe some of your close people won't understand. There's always gonna be be people in your family or maybe your close circle of friends who are like. What's the point? You know? And I think that's sort of the difference between do you really wanna act and do you wanna be famous?

[00:43:47] If you really love acting, I don't know that you can not do it. I feel like you're just gonna find a way to do it regardless of what it looks like. Um, which I sort of argue I even did in my career. Like I, I still did it somehow. And then after I retired I was like, oh, I'll take actual acting classes. Um. I don't know.

[00:44:06] I'll be 90 and still like, let's do a sketch comedy group. Like I don't know that I'll be able to like kick it, you know? Um,

[00:44:13] Carmen: I love it. What, what would be kind of just, um, your advice for anyone that's up and coming.

[00:44:28] Kelly: definitely take. If you have the means and resources to take classes, do that, but try to do it in in a bunch of formats. So definitely take self taping, but also take technique. Take a theater class. If you think I just wanna do TV and film, it doesn't matter. Start off with basic theater because so much of the discipline of theater is so helpful when you're approaching a character.

[00:44:55] But if you don't ever even venture into taking that, because acting is about. Being comfortable in the uncomfortable,

[00:45:04] Carmen: Look at how much I love you right now.

[00:45:07] Kelly: So it's like the more you can get used to, I might not know what to do, and allowing yourself to sit and be okay with that and continue to push through it for acting. That's kind of the weird sweet spot in a scene, is you're allowing it to surprise you, even though you've memorized the words and everything.

[00:45:28] It's still. Coming up in a way that you weren't expecting and you're like, wow, that went, that made a hard left and I wasn't expecting that left to happen. And that's where director of, he's like, yeah, you guys both went off the edge, so we're gonna do it again and bring you both back in. That's the director's job.

[00:45:43] But your job is to sort of allow it to come through you, which means you might not feel so get used to feeling uncomfortable study, but then get out there and do something. Just do something. It's okay if it's for no one. You know, it's okay if you're like, Hey, I'm just going to self tape myself doing a monologue that I'm really passionate about.

[00:46:04] Carmen: right.

[00:46:05] Kelly: it. Just do it because

[00:46:07] Carmen: out there.

[00:46:08] Kelly: that's how you kind of get going and find one or two other people that are in the same journey with you that are gonna be your cheerleaders. Um, and

[00:46:20] Carmen: I'm your cheerleader.

[00:46:21] Kelly: I know, and you've been my cheerleader this whole time, but

[00:46:26] Carmen: happy for you.

[00:46:27] Kelly: there's, there's not, there are people who are genuine about that.

[00:46:31] And then there are people who are only gonna be your cheerleader if they feel like you're doing something for them, or

[00:46:36] Carmen: you.

[00:46:36] Kelly: they're trying, they're like, oh, she's actually, or he's actually good. I'm gonna, I don't wanna compete with them. Stay away from those

[00:46:43] Carmen: Yeah, you're not competing with other people by

[00:46:45] Kelly: You're not.

[00:46:46] Carmen: that's that weird thing that people think, but oh my God. Kelly, thank you so much for being on this show. I feel like this is so, like we have to do a part two now.

[00:46:55] Kelly: I feel like I'm like, did I even answer her question? Help?

[00:46:58] Carmen: Did you think I wasn't coming with a lot of questions.

[00:47:01] Kelly: No, I just, I'm like, oh my gosh. I feel like I don't have time to answer it. Well.

[00:47:04] Carmen: No, you answered everything beautifully and perfectly. I just think this might be another, we might have to do another conversation and go down into the weeds, um, on the business end of acting. 'cause I think there's that other part of it that I think you might be able to bring some light to if you're willing in the future.

[00:47:21] If that'd be

[00:47:21] Kelly: I am willing, I'm not gonna sit here and say that I have all the answers for that. 'cause I think I'm still

[00:47:27] Carmen: You have the answers

[00:47:28] Kelly: learning some of the business side. Yeah.

[00:47:31] Carmen: God. So if you haven't figured out yet, one of my things is always trying to like smack her upside the head to stop always like she's fantastic and great and I love her, and I'm, I'm so glad you were here. Thank you so much for hanging out with us,

[00:47:44] Kelly: Yes. Thank you. It's so nice to see you. See your face.

[00:47:48] Carmen: too.

[00:47:49] Um, but um, everyone remember at the end of the day it really is all about the joy. So thank you for hanging out and we'll see you again next time. Bye everyone.

[00:47:57] Kelly: Bye.