How To Get Others to Change Quick!
I want to point out a theological discovery I made once. I’ve never made many theological discoveries. I’m known more for my speaking than for deep theology. Maybe that’s because I spent the first thirty years of my life on a ranch and never thought about going back to school or being a preacher. But this theological discovery made me change the way I look at family relationships.
As I travel around the country, I speak a lot to families at family conferences. These talks are directed to husbands and wives and parents and various family relationships. But the theological discovery I found in Colossians 3. Verse 18 and following tells all about what wives and husbands should do. Here’s my discovery – Colossians 3:1-17 comes before verses 18-21.
You may not have thought deeply about that before. It suddenly dawned on my what Paul said in those verses were preparation for what came after. So, before we talk about husbands and wives, children and fathers, we need to discuss relationships of an individual with God. Personal holiness, that’s what this is about.
“So as those who have been chosen by God holy and dearly loved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other. Whoever has a complaint against another, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you forgive. And above all these things, put on love which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called in one body and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell richly within you with all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word and deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” (Colossians 3:12-17)
“Lord, I ask you lead us into your Word and show us how it applies to our lives. This I ask in Jesus Name, Amen.”
Wanting quick change for others sometimes dominates our relationships. I don't know about you, but I'm surrounded by imperfect people. My life would be so much better if only they'd straighten up. Here's some tips to make that happen from Colossians 3:12-17. How do you get others to change quick? Pay attention to these seven tips.
1. Get your heart re-designed.
A Spirit designer heart is a heart designed by Jesus. And we can put it on as we work out our faith in partnership with Him. It's the Jesus Touch.
Rate yourself from 1-10 on the following character traits. Ten denotes the ideal model of this virtue. One indicates no trace to be found. Quick change comes from a heart filled with these qualities. Compassion--instant help for the helpless. Kindness--goodness with true concern for others. Humility--having an accurate view of your strengths and weaknesses. Gentleness--always angry at the right time and never at the wrong time. Patience--dealing with others imperfections without vengeance, pettiness, and anger.
Think through both your strengths and weaknesses. Which one of these areas would those close to you appreciate your best effort in allowing God's help in change? How will you and others best recognize this change? We need a heart with the designer's touch.
2. Forget about others' failures.
Let forgiveness dominate daily relationships. That is, bear with one another's faults. Let go! A sign I saw one time in Bucky's Cafe in Cambridge, Idaho: "Forgiveness is a bridge over which you may have to pass again."
Do you find it easy to forgive? Why or why not? What is the hardest thing you've ever had to forgive? How long did it take? You know whether you've truly forgiven someone if you don't talk about the issue. Also, you don't meditate on it when alone.
What one thing would you'd very much like others to forgive of you? How do you feel when it dawns on you the Lord has completely forgiven you?
3. Show off quick change true love.
What do you love most about those closest to you? And like least? When you want others to feel loved, what do you do? What makes you most feel loved?
True love gives without demanding anything back. Put love on your To Do list.
4. Let the peace of Christ rule and control you.
Peace is not the absence of conflict. It's in the midst of conflict you find out who you are. You know how you respond before God.
What was the most difficult situation you had to face recently? How did you feel in the midst of it? Would you say the peace of Christ filled you? Why or why not? How can others close by help you experience this peace to get you through conflicts and turmoil?
5. Make it a quick change habit to give thanks.
To be a thankful person requires making a choice. A decision of the will shows in body language, such as the expression of the mouth. List ten things you've never given thanks to God before. Share this list with a family member or friend. Sink thankfulness little by little deep inside you. Get hooked on giving thanks.
6. Let God's Word daily motivate you.
When's the last time you got completely caught up in exuberance with your Bible reading? What's the most exciting thing you've ever read in the Bible? Why does that thrill you? Ask this question of someone else and discuss your spiritual insights together. Allow these words to settle deep within you.
7. Dedicate every word and act to the Lord.
When was the last time you wished you'd started the conversation with, "As Jesus would say ..." How would that have changed the situation? What event recently should you have dedicated to the Lord? Practice saying ahead of time, "I want to dedicate the following act to the Lord Jesus."
Conclusion
But, wait a minute. I promised to tell you how to get others to make a quick change. And all mentioned above only tells you how to change. But that's the kind of secrets the Bible reveals. Want to be great? Be a servant. You want to be first? Get in line last. Desire to be rich? Give it all away. If you want to live, you must die.
Want others to change? Then you change. Want others to do a quick change? Then you change quicker.
Stephen Bly, 1989