Get A Jesus Heart

FAMILY, Season 3, Episode 3, "Get A Jesus Heart" audio podcast by award-winning western author Stephen Bly. Your family challenges, issues, and problems improve when you get a Jesus heart. Recorded at Fillmore Bible Church, Fillmore, California, 1984. Sponsored by BlyBooks.com Legacy Series. 
"Save Your Family. Get a Jesus Heart." blog post article found here:  https://www.blybooks.com/2023/01/jesus-heart-re-design/ 

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Transcript

FAMILY LIFE FOUNDATIONS
Stephen Bly
Recorded at Fillmore Bible Church, Fillmore, California
1982 

Based on Isaiah 61:1-3, 10,11 and Colossians 3:12-17

Mary came into my office and said, “Pastor, I just have to speak to you about my husband. You know, he’s really impossible to live with. He doesn’t get home until late and he never lets me know where he is. He’s always yelling at the kids. He refuses to invite my folks over for lunch. He watches every football game on TV and listens to that horrible country-western music. He drives like a maniac on the freeway. He makes me mow the lawn. He has to have meat and potatoes at every meal and he ripped the ‘Honk if You Love Jesus’ sticker off his pickup. And he won’t shave that ridiculous mustache. More than that, you ought to see what he does with his soup.”
“Oh, does he pick it up and drink it?”
“Oh, no, he draws the spoon across the bowl this way instead of across the bowl the right way. That’s what I’ve had to put up with all of these years. That’s why I came to you. You’re just going to have to straighten him out.”
“Me? Well, I’d be happy to visit with your husband but for someone who’s not ready to receive advice, it’s very difficult to give it.”
“If I waited until he wanted to receive advice, I’ll be through the pearly gates. I planned on your coming out this evening. He has to have dinner right at straight up 6:00 but if you came at 7:00, I could work you in between the national news and The Price Is Right.”
“Mary, let me ask you some personal questions. How is your prayer life going?”
She said, “I’ve been praying about him for years.”
“Well, how about other things?”
“Everything else is just fine.”
“Are you still involved with that Bible study?”
“No,” she said, “Everything’s been such a hassle lately, I just haven’t had time. But as soon as I get this straightened out, I plan to get started again.”
“Mary, how about worship? Do you enjoy yourself when you go to worship and get caught up in the presence of God. Are you rejoicing in what He’s doing in the midst of your fellowship?”
“Well, no, how can I rejoice when I’m living with such a louse?”
“I think I can give you some advice. How about working very diligently for the next six months in growth in personal holiness in your own life.”
“You mean you’re saying it’s been my fault?”
“No, it’s not about placing fault. It’s about laying the proper foundation for working on this other problem you have.” 
She said, “Well, I don’t think that will help.”
“I believe it’s going to help a lot.”
“But I didn’t come here for that. I came here for you to straighten things out with my husband. You just don’t understand.”

But I did understand because I’d talked to many people in the same condition. It seems everyone wants to have marriage and family help, but no one wants to do the difficult things it takes to get it done.  

But that’s our nature. As I listened to Beth the pianist play that beautiful music I thought, “Now how many people here would love to be able to play the piano?”
Many of you would say, “I want to! I want to!”
“So how many of you’d like to sign up for hours a day of practice for fifteen years?”
“Oh, I don’t want to do that.”

Some people are that way when they look at their marriage and family life. They want it to be all beautiful but aren’t willing to put in what it takes to work year after year to establish that.

Sometimes folks come up to me and say, “I’m going to write a book someday.” So, they ask me, “How long did it take you to write your first book?” 
“It took me three months.”
“Okay, I’ve got three months. I think I’ll write a book.”
“But it took me ten years of living the Christian life before I could write the book.”

People don’t want to do the foundational work before they get to the problem at hand. 

FAMILIES COME IN DIFFERENT SIZES 

There are physical families and church families as well. 

Colossians 3:12-17 holds the teaching for the basis of family relationships. Then, starting verse 18 Paul states all the ways husbands and wives ought to be. But before that he tells everyone what they should do concerning their own personal holiness. 

So, I believe strongly that personal holiness is the foundation for any kind of family happiness. Personal means this applies to you. But I can guarantee someone will come up to me afterward and say, “I agree with you but I still wish so-and-so would change.” Or “It was great but so-and-so wasn’t here.”

But this sermon isn’t for so-and-so. Guess who it’s for? For you. Okay? You can’t sic personal holiness on someone else like a punishment. You begin to live it in your own life. It’s about the moral quality, character, and actions for those who share Christ’s nature.

1. We need our heart redesigned.

Colossians 3:12, “Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

We are not born by nature with a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. In fact, just the opposite. Those things are extremely difficult. They don’t come easy. Paul said, “Put this on. Clothe yourself in these things. Get your heart redesigned.”

The heart is the source of motive, seat of passion, center of thought, the spring of conscience. We should have a Jesus kind of heart. His heart enabled Him to get through all sorts of difficult situations.  

A Jesus Heart 

A heart of compassion—instant help for the helpless. 
A heart of kindness, which is goodness with true concern. You really want to help. 
A heart of humility, having a proper view of who you are.
A heart of gentleness, knowing the right time to be angry and right time to never be angry. 
A heart of patience—dealing with human limitations without letting it drive you to cynicism or despair.
None of this comes easy. It takes hard work.  

Some helpful Clues 

a) Question every natural reaction. 

Sometimes we justify our responses by saying we’re only doing what comes naturally. 
When we get upset, we raise our voice and scream at it. But by nature, we’re sinful people. Maybe that’s the wrong way.

b) Quit playing to the crowd. 

Sometimes our reaction is because other people expect us to be that way. And so we give them what they expect.  You get together every Friday with the other ladies in the neighborhood and they expect you to tell them what that young divorcee next door is doing. So, you play to the crowd. But that’s not a Jesus kind of heart. 

c) Quickly act on the changes God puts in our life.

Let those changes take place. For instance, if you are Mr. Macho and you can control every situation and never shed a tear. You can handle any kind of heartache. But then, God changes your heart. You’re sitting there watching a movie about a creature from outer space named E.T. As you get down towards the end of the movie, tears start flowing from your eyes and you try hard to stay Mr. Macho. No, let the tears flow. God is changing your heart. He’s instilling compassion. Act quickly on that and allow God’s changes to take place.   

2. We need to bear with another.

We should try to put up with each other, especially other Christians. The Greek word for bear has four parts. It means to receive, take up, to bear, and endure. That could be progressive steps. 

a) To receive means to instantly accept them, their looks and speech and actions. It’s to make them feel at home in your presence. This church has always been one to make international students feel at home, despite the different culture and language. We open up our hearts. But sometimes it’s easier to do with folks who look just like us, who have our language and culture.

b) Whenever possible, we are to take up their cause and their side. Walk with them. See things from their point of view. To be with them together, to be publicly counted among them. We support them. 

This might not be parallel to ours, but it matters to them. We endure their successes and failures. No matter what, we put up with them, even if they don’t put up with us. 

3.  We should forgive each other. 

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). Forgiveness needs to dominate our daily lives.  

What are the marks of God’s forgiveness? 

We see in the story of the prodigal son what God’s forgiveness really looks like. 

~~ His forgiveness is anxious. 

We see the father peering down the road day after day, looking for the son to come back. If we have offended someone or they offended us, when there’s a conflict in a relationship, we have a tendency not to want to confront that anymore, especially if it’s been going on for a long time. We’d rather forget it. 

But we see a picture of God anxious, waiting for a meeting again to take place, for that missing one to be there. 

~~ God’s forgiveness is also motivated by love. We’ll be concerned about what the other person struggled with. The father waited for the son with love.

~~ God’s forgiveness is a physical kind of thing. 

The father put his arms around the son, embraced him, hugged him close. It’s still true that forgiveness comes with a pat on the shoulder, handshake, or an embrace. 

~~ God’s kind of forgiveness ignores the past. 

Have any of you ever had breakfast at Bucky’s in Cambridge, Idaho? On the wall you’ll find all kinds of signs with wise sayings. One of them says, “Forgiveness is a bridge over which you might have to pass.” We need to build those bridges of forgiveness.  

~~ God’s kind of forgiveness is more than just words.

The father placed a coat on the son’s shoulder, a ring on his finger, and sandals on his feet. Forgiveness wasn’t just a “Yeah, I forgive you, now get over there in the bunkhouse and get to work.” 

~~ God’s forgiveness withstands other’s criticism.

The older son said to the father, “Why do you treat him like this? It’s not fair.” Any time we’re involved in conflict with other people and we grant them godly forgiveness, someone will come along and say, “You shouldn’t forgive them in that way.” But godly forgiveness bears all the criticism and keeps on forgiving.  

4. We should show love.

“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:14).

We should wear love on our shirtsleeve. To put on means to clothe. 

Let me remind you that we’re commanded to love. Paul’s not saying, “Wait for that loving feeling.” Just begin to love. Ask yourself, “How would I act with this one if I were really loving them?” Then, do that thing. Love must be seen as well as spoken. 

There’s a saying in the wilderness that a whisper’s as good as a shout to the deaf ear. If you’re deaf, someone can yell all they want but they’ve got to see action. Sometimes love is a verb. You must do more than just say it. 

True love is doing good for other people with no thought of anything in return. 

I have witnessed one of the most loving deeds done on the face of the earth. And it’s done by mothers changing diapers, especially really gross, dirty ones. That’s the most loving deed I can think of. And once in a while, fathers do it, if they have to. That little one gives nothing back in return, not even cooperation. And yet the mother does it out of love. She’ll keep doing it as long as she needs to. That’s what showing love is all about, right out in the open so all can see it. 

5. Take His peace.

Paul says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace” (Colossians 3:15).

Let the peace of Christ put you at peace with other people. We have peace with God (Romans 1:5) because of our faith. We also need the peace of Christ, which He leaves with us, not as the world gives it, and not like anything else known. We need to let that rule and constantly dominate our life every day in our relationships. 

Though important, doctrinal purity does not rule in your life, nor does the style of worship. Instead, the peace of Christ should rule every day, at all times. 

How can we do that? 

First of all, you probably need to get involved in conflict. When things go well, you wouldn’t recognize genuine peace anyway. But in the midst of turmoil, you’d discern God’s peace. He told us about His peace for that very reason. He knew we’d go through all sorts of things. It’s going to be tough. But His peace will be right there with you in the midst of hard times. 

So, how do we do that? We need to deal with our past, our present, and our future. We give them to the Lord so we can have His peace. 

Things in Our Past 

For instance, some things in our past may be keeping us from experiencing Christ’s peace.  

Think of five things in your past that you’d really like to do away with—5 mistakes or relationships that you really blew. And you wished for a way to erase all of that, especially as it concerns relationships. Write them down. Pray about them. Give them to God. Draw a line in the dirt and say, “From this very point forward, those five things are not going to rob of Christ’s peace.” Confess them to the Lord. He will not bring them up to you again. 

Maybe do like the Old Testament people and use rocks for memorials. Put five stones in a significant place. Those things are taken care of as of this day forward.  

Our Present 

Commit your days to Him. “Lord, I’m planning to do these things, but only according to your constant approval.” Make sure to not put anything on your To Do List that He could not change immediately, if He wanted to. Give Him your present to find His peace.  

And Our Future 

Many people are robbed of peace because they fear the future. For instance, you may be afraid of where God will lead you. And because of that, you’re not at ease with God. Any time you hear about a missionary going out in the jungle among headhunters and living in huts for years with nothing but a cup of rice every day, you say, “Lord, I’ll do anything but that.”  

We all have those situations that make us shudder when it comes to fully trusting God. What if He would lead here or ask us to go there or do this? We need to find His peace.  

6. Be thankful.

Get hooked on giving thanks. Make thanksgiving a real part of your life. Giving thanks is a state of mind. It’s being conscious of the many benefits that come from God. Giving thanks affects your spirit too, filling you with gladness. It helps you experience delight in the Lord.

a) Every evening spend some time when you don’t ask God for anything. Thank Him for all the great things He did that day. 

But someone will say, “I can’t do that right now. I had a really bad day.” Think a bit longer. What about the nice, warm piece of huckleberry pie you had for lunch? And you didn’t have to eat mud instead? Take some time to be conscious of what God did in little things.

b) Verbalize your thanks to others around you. Remember what you’re grateful for to share with those in your home, at school, or on the job. 

c) Tell God in the moment, “Lord, I really enjoyed that!” 

I’ve been praying this summer about one of my books coming out in October named God’s Angry Side. It’s not the kind of title that would attract a lot of readers so I’ve been praying about the cover of the book, which I don’t have any control over at all. The publisher decides. 

So, I’ve been praying, “Lord, make this cover something that people would pick up and look at.”

Then, I got an ad in a paper from the publisher and it showed a picture of the cover. And let me tell you, it looked great. They did a good job. And I can thank the Lord and say, “I really like it!” I experienced delight and that’s a part of giving thanks. 

In fact, if you don’t have delight, it’s kind of a mindless a, b, c, and d exercise. But He wants the praise of our lips and the delight of our hearts in what He’s done. Let thanksgiving be a part of our lives, Paul says.

d) Let the Word of God be vibrant within us.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God” (Colossians 3:16).

Let the Word of God settle in your inner life and control your every thought. I can tell if a person has the Word of God dwelling richly within them. 

Three Signs 

Apply these to yourself. First, compare the newness of the Bible to how worn out it is. If you have a 35-year-old Bible in immaculate condition, you aren’t letting the Word of God dwell within you. You might have a rare antique, but look at the frayed corners of the pages, the underlining. Look at how the beautiful leather’s starting to wear out.

Another way is to listen to the songs and see how much you put yourself into the singing. When the Word of God is richly within us it bubbles out in the midst of singing.

A third sign is to look at those around you, your children and family or whoever’s close to you at work. Look at them to see if God’s Word seems to be overflowing and happening in their lives too. If it’s richly dwelling within you that means it’s boiling out of you and can’t help affect those around you.  

7. Dedicate every word and act to the Lord.

Paul gives one another thing for personal holiness. “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17).  

Since I was a child whenever I heard someone talk about Christianity, it went along this line, to do everything as unto to the Lord. We need to dedicate our every word and every act to the Lord. Here’s some handles that helped me. 

a) Before you say anything else, when caught up in the midst of any situation, say this first, “As Jesus would say …” then go ahead with the rest. 

Here’s how that works. Suppose you’re sitting in the house and you hear a car come up the driveway and then a crunch! And there’s a scream and a slam of a door. And you hear your wife’s footsteps coming across the driveway. She opens the door and looks rather sheepishly as she says, “Honey, I did it again, I ran into the garage, for the sixth time.”
And you respond to her, “As Jesus would say … did you get hurt?”
See how that suddenly controls your speech. You have to say something different. 

It’s the same thing with your actions. 
Suppose you’re playing in a golf tournament and you’re doing quite well that day. You’re about to win the tournament and you’re on the eighteenth green and putting extremely well. All you have left is a three foot putt. So you plumb the putt. You hold up your putter to line it up. You look at the green to make sure which way the blades and breeze are blowing. You pick up all the little rocks and pebbles in the way. You carefully adjust yourself and take your grip. You relax yourself to stroke the ball. And just before the ball gets to the hole, it jumps sideways and you miss. As you think of some appropriate response, what to do with your putter and a few other things, you look around at the crowd and then you say, “I would like to dedicate the following act to the Lord Jesus Christ.” 
What would you do? You’d probably go over and congratulate the winner. 

b) Take Jesus with you wherever you go.

Whenever I open the door, I let Him go through first. It might be a little thing, but it reminds me He’s with me. You’d be surprised when you remember He’s with you how many more things you do according to His will. 

One time I traveled to Oklahoma City. It was the first time I’d been on a 727 jet with three seats on each side of the aisle and it made me a little nervous. I sat next to the window and invited the Lord to sit with me. As I stared at the runway waiting for the plane to take off, I turned next to me to a very attractive blonde lady. I thought that maybe this ride wouldn’t be too bad after all. 

I turned to say something and there in the seat between us was Jesus. So, I decided to turn back to look out the window some more. Finally, I thought, no, I’m going to visit with this lady. And there was Jesus smiling and saying, “By the way, how’s your wife?” 

Take Jesus along with you. Dedicate every action to Him. But how does this really help family life? Here’s a hypothetical situation.

Suppose tomorrow your husband takes off early to go fishing and you’re awakened a little later by young Cindy who comes running into your room and cries out, “Mommy, mommy, I just barfed all over Buffy.” 

You get up and notice Buffy the cat scrambled up and down the curtains. You start to clean all that and notice hubby fixed himself some bacon. He got grease all over the stove, back wall, and it drips down the front of oven. Finally, you clean that mess, but just as you do, a neighbor knocks on the door. “I hate to tell you but our dogs got in a fight and your dog got the worst of it. It looks like he needs to go to the vet.”

So, you throw on some clothes and fix yourself up and run out to the garage with Rover and his hanging, torn ear. At that moment you notice the hot water heater’s broken in the garage leaving six inches of water soaking your handmade Christmas ornaments in the corner. But you back out of the garage and realize hubby didn’t take all his gear and you ran over it. A young gal at you’ve never seen before flags you down from your front door, yelling, “You need some help?” You shake your head. Before you reach the stop sign, there’s a flat tire. 

Then you remember auto club dues expired last Friday so for the next couple hours you wait for the slowest service station attendant to come then you go to the most expensive vet in the country to fix poor Rover. Finally, you drive home, only to notice that son Bobby Junior invited his friends over and they’re spray painting their bicycles, as they lean against the side of the house.

So, it’s about 2:00 in the afternoon and you try to rescue the Christmas ornaments but you slip in the water and fall flat on your face. You’re about ready to cry but you look out the garage door and see your new pastor and his wife coming for a visit. You quickly tell them about the McNally’s down the road and send them off. That same gal you saw earlier is at your door again, asking with an accent, “I’m from the agency. Need help? Need help today?” You quickly got rid of her.

Just as you got everything cleaned up, it’s five o’clock, time for your husband to be home. But he doesn’t arrive by 6:30 so you send Junior to get some pizzas at the shopping center but he has an accident on the way home and brings home two boxes full of gravel and sand. 

But this time, you put all the kids in the family room, tell them they can’t leave no matter what, and go to the master bathroom in order to take a long, hot bath. And it’s not until you put your toes in the water that you remember that the hot water doesn’t work and it’s all cold.

So, you sit down with tears in your eyes in the middle of the bathroom and you hear hubby’s voice in the other room. You wonder how long he’s been there, and you haven’t really straightened yourself up today. But there he is at the door. He greets you with, “Hi, beautiful!” And he’s carrying a great big 3-gallon camp coffee pot. He says, “Forgive me for being late but I stopped on the freeway to help the Tracey’s. Their car broke down and we’ve been meaning to get to know them better and wanting to invite them to church. Well, they invited us to dinner next Friday night. And I caught a 35-pound fish today but I didn’t want to stink up the house so I had Mario filet it for us. It’s in the freezer now. And Bobby was so worried about how he broke my golf club today. But he needn’t worry. After all, as Jesus would say, it’s no big thing. Say, did you get any help out of that agency girl?”

“What?” you say.

“Well, you see, I was reading through Proverbs 31 all about the godly wife and I thought you have everything that old gal has but you don’t have any servants like she had. I thought you need some help with the housework once a week so I called an agency this morning. They were going to send a gal named Maria. Did she come by?”

Trying to change the subject you ask him, “Why do you have that coffee pot?”

“Oh, I thought you’d like some hot water. I boiled it on the stove to pour into your tub.”

You finally ease into the warm water and hubby turns around. “Honey, have I told you lately how crazy I am about you?”

You finally smile. “I believe you just did.” 

We’ve all had days like that woman. But the husband’s heart had been redesigned. He had a forgiveness dominated life. He wore his love on his shirtsleeve. He was hooked on giving thanks. The Word of God lived vibrantly within him. And he dedicated every word and action to the Lord.  

Now, does personal holiness cure every marriage and family problem? No, it doesn’t. But it sets the arena for where the problems can be worked out. Personal holiness, the foundation for family happiness.  

“Dear Father, I thank you for your word. I thank you for how you speak to us. Sometimes your word is so full and rich as the things in this one passage. Open our eyes that we may see you and how you want us to respond to your word. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”