Robyn Valentine. Author, podcaster, and tarot reader to the STARS!

In this episode I talk to Robyn Valentine, author of Magickal Tarot, cohost of witchy podcast Coffee & Cauldrons, and yes, she really has done tarot readings for famous people. Robyn spins stories about her childhood, explains what it's like to be an Internet Personality, and tells a truly great story about cheese. 

As a reminder, it's podbirth month! Your Average Witch turns a year old in June and I'll be giving some neat packages away. Follow me on instagram @youraveragewitch, on facebook at Your Average Witch podcast, and on twitter @AverageWitchPod to find out how you can win things like a birthday candle spell kit with a handmade candle dish by Flora & Function, and a variety of items from Clever Kim's Curios.


https://tiredwitch.com/
instagram.com/atiredwitch
instagram.com/coffeeandcauldronspod 
Buy her book! https://tiredwitch.com/magickaltarot/
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Transcript

Welcome back to Your Average Witch, where we talk about witch life, witch stories, and sometimes a little witchcraft on the full and new moon every month. My guest this week is Robyn Valentine, author of Magical Tarot, co-host of Coffee and Cauldrons, blogger as A Tired Witch, and just a busy person all around. As a reminder, it's Podbirth Month. Your Average Witch turns a year old this month in June, and I'll be giving some neat packages away. Follow me on Instagram at Your Average Witch, on Facebook at Your Average Witch Podcast, and on Twitter at Average Witch Pod to find out how you can win things like a birthday candle spell kit with a handmade candle dish by Flora and Function, which is super cute, and a variety of other items from Clever Kim's Curios, aka me. Now let's get to the stories. 

Kim: Hi Robyn, welcome to the show.

Robyn: Hello! 

Kim: Would you please introduce yourself and let everybody know who you are and what you do and where they can find you? 

Robyn: Yeah, my name is Robyn, Robyn Valentine. I am the creator behind Tired Witch, which is a blog, a YouTube, social media, and a store, which is currently on hiatus because I've got stuff going on in my life that has me on pause. And I'm also the author of a book called Magical Tarot and the co-host of a podcast called Coffee and Cauldrons. So I do everything. 

Kim: That's a lot. 

Robyn: Yeah, I'm drowning. Thank you for asking. 

Kim: What made you want to start a podcast? 

Robyn: Well, when Maria and I started Coffee and Cauldrons, there weren't a ton of podcasts that were out there that basically ticked the boxes that we were looking for. And we had a Patreon that we had started six or seven months before we started the podcast. I think maybe five months, I don't know, somewhere in that window. And we just thought that it would be a good format to take what we were already doing, and making it making it a little bit more accessible for people. If that makes sense. It was a way to take the Patreon and also provide something that wasn't behind a paywall, I guess. Plus Maria and I both just really like talking. So... *laughs* So, it's been easy.

 Kim: What made you start the blog? 

Robyn: Oh, wow. Well, let's see. I started Tired Witch five or six years ago. I'm not really certain at this point. It's been a minute. It was either 2017 or 2018. But I've been a witch on the internet since I was a teenager and I'm in my 30s now and I was always a consumer and I really just enjoyed reading what other people were putting out there and I was like, I can do that. I can share what I am doing. And I never expected to like really have any success with it. I was just, I enjoy making content, you know what I mean? Yeah, I've just always been a person online and I felt like it was a natural transition for me, if that makes sense. And when I had started, I had just quit my job and moved to where we're living right now. And it just made sense. I was like, well, I'm not doing anything. So at this moment, like, why don't I do this for fun? And here we are. 

Kim: Surprise, it's a business. 

Robyn: Surprise! 

Kim: What does it mean to you when you call yourself a witch? 

Robyn: Oh, that's a complicated question. I know a lot of people have like these really like amazingly empowering self descriptors for what it means to be a witch, but for me, it... there's a lot of like debate on whether or not witchcraft can be considered a religion, because there isn't dogma and a book and, you know what I mean, like something that we follow specifically. But for me it is, in my opinion, a religion. Granted, it's a personal religion, not something that we all adhere to the same set of rules, right? And so for me, being a witch very much so is being dedicated to that. It is empowering, it is devotion, it is sacrifice and dedication and just kind of everything, you know? Does that make sense? 

Kim: Yeah, I'm comparing what you're saying to what I do. It's just interesting. Because I sort of have that, but also it's way more practical for me. 

Robyn: Yeah, well I mean don't misunderstand... like part of it being a religion, in my opinion, also has practicality in it. I have a background in herbalism so there is a lot of practicality that comes in that, and then we can get into conversations with things like hedge witchery etc. But yeah it is... to me it's it's my whole life. It's very, it's a dedicated practice and something I care a lot about. 

Kim: It's becoming that for me. 

Robyn: Yeah. 

Kim: Over the past, like, five years, it's... Just prior to COVID. Well, not just prior, like two to three years prior to COVID is when it just suddenly stood up real tall in my life.

Robyn: Yeah, for me... I've been practicing a serious, like I've been into witchcraft since I was an early teenager, but I didn't get into any form of serious practice until I was probably like 19 or 20. And, I mean, even then that's been 14 years, 13 years, 15 maybe, I guess. I don't really know, somewhere in that window. And I don't know who Robyn is at this point without witchcraft, if that makes sense. It's just, it's a huge part of my life. It is something that, you know, I wake up and I go directly to my altar and I start doing stuff there. So I don't know, I don't know who I would be without it. So you know what I mean? Like what a witch means to me is me being myself, I guess, and those kind of micro rituals and bigger rituals and just everything. 

Kim: Conspiracy theory about to hit you. 

Robyn: Oh, I love that. Let's go. I'm friends with Tenny. Let's do this. 

Kim: Do you... And I don't even know if it's really a conspiracy theory. really. But yeah, I'm a bit older than you and have been a witch pretty much the whole time, but I didn't really start to, yeah, like it didn't really... 

Robyn: Define yourself that way? 

Kim: Well, I did. It just wasn't really a huge part of my life until about the same time it was, when it jumped into your life. And I'm now, and I see all the articles about how people are leaving the Christian church and witchcraft and New Age spirituality is really growing... do you think there's, do you think it's some weird awakening, or is it just that we have the internet now?

Robyn: I think it's just because we have the internet. I'm actually... I'm like really against the idea of the witch wakening. 

Kim: Huh.

Robyn: Yeah, I'm actually super against it. And of course if people want to self-identify that way, that's totally okay and I respect that. I'm against it because I don't know if you've noticed, I've definitely noticed, and maybe it's just because I'm chronically online, but what I've noticed is the majority of the people that fall under this umbrella of the witch wakening are white women. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm a white woman. Yeah, I'm mixed race, but I'm a white woman. Anybody with eyes can see that. And to me, it becomes... You know, like the term white feminism, how is feminism only if it's serving white women? 

Kim: Like all the abortion stuff happening right now? 

Robyn: Yeah, totally. Totally.

Kim: "Hey, wait a minute..."

Robyn:  I've noticed a pattern that this wake the witches, witches awakening, etc. I personally have only seen it coming from white women. That does not mean, of course, that people of color are not doing it as well. I just haven't seen that personally. And that has always gotten my back up as a, "Oh, so *you're* doing this. So it must be something special." Do you know what I mean? 

Kim: Yeah.

Robyn: It can't just be that we have the internet, and also that we're, you know, exploring ourselves in a different way. Like quite frankly, 2022 is fucked. Can I swear on this podcast?

Kim: Fuck yes. 

Robyn: *laughing* It's our world is fucked, man. And we really want- 

Kim: It's a shit show/clown show baby. 

Robyn: Yeah. And a lot of us, I believe, are in this kind of rock and a hard place where, you know, we maybe believe in something bigger, something more, et cetera. But we're like, but that, you know, religion I was maybe raised in, I wasn't, but some people maybe were raised in, is not serving me. And so I still believe in a power, and magic, because quite frankly I don't care who you are, Christianity is occult as fuck. I still believe in these sort of things but this isn't working for me. You know, what does work for me? And so people are exploring I think spirituality in a different way. I think we have the internet, which allows people to explore and see different things, and I truly believe it's just a coincidence.
 I mean, most of the people that I've seen doing the Wake the Witches stuff also have like super appropriative hairstyles, and practice really appropriative things. And I'm just sat back like "Convenient that you would think you're special at this time. *laughing* Convenient." I do think that there's nothing wrong with feeling or even believing that you are, uh, you know, being rewoken as a witch. 'Cause there, there is also a whole separate conversation that involves that, which is when you like have awoken to the idea of witchcraft, which is a very different conversation and I believe in very heavily. But the witch awakening... I don't know, I feel like it's got a very Eurocentric view as well. Because the term witch specifically comes from England. And so in my opinion, it also just kind of whitewashes this whole, I don't know, global spiritualism as well. Not to get political. 

Kim: Every time I bring things up on here, I get smacked in the face with my own privilege. 

Robyn: Yeah, well I mean... 

Kim: I've lived such an insular lifestyle, like my whole life. It's just, I am astonished at how little I know and how little I've experienced. So when I say dumb things, I welcome getting called the fuck out. *laughs*

Robyn:  Well, I don't think I honestly don't think that what you said is dumb. I think that this is a really, really common conversation in our community. And I don't think that you asking that question is stupid. I think that you asking it is a reflection of, you know, the climate that we're living in right now. Because I've seen it said a lot, especially since COVID. So I don't think that's dumb. It's just this is my perspective on it. 

Kim: OK, yay. I like not feeling stupid. 

Robyn: Yeah, I mean, realistically, at the end of the day, we all have different lives that we've lived and therefore bring different perspectives to the table. And that's what makes the world a beautiful place. 

Kim: That makes me happy. Let's swerve back to the other stuff. 

Robyn: Yeah!

Kim: Do you have any daily rituals you'll share with us? 

Robyn: Yeah. Yeah, I have a lot of daily rituals. I wake up, like I just said, I wake up every morning, I go immediately to my altar. I make myself and I make my spirits coffee every single day. I refresh their water on my altar, I light incense, and I typically light a devotional candle, and I sit there and have just like mindful meditation for five minutes. Which, you know, some days are easier than others, depending if my child is awake and screaming at me. But yeah, I try to. I'm very fortunate I have a partner who is super supportive of me like as a witch and as a mother So if I'm like, "I'm gonna go do this, take your kid," it's not an issue.

Kim:  I didn't realize this was a controversial thing, but what are your thoughts on eating or drinking or drinking the offering?

Robyn: Okay, so what do I think about eating and drinking offerings? I do it. I don't drink offerings typically because who wants to drink a cup of water that's been sat next to incense all day? Who wants to drink a cup of coffee that has been there for 24 hours and might have a fly in it? That sounds disgusting. But I do eat offerings. I typically sit at my altar and share it with my spirits. I grew up really low income, so food waste is not something that I am a big believer in. I am literally the girl that will make dinner and if there's any leftovers, I'll have that shit for breakfast. Like it's not getting wasted. So for me, on a personal level, I struggle with wasting food. And so instead I usually leave it out for a few hours and then I share it.  I kind of think of it as an act of eating together because I just,  I personally cannot bring myself to waste the food. 

Kim: Me too. And now that I live in the desert, it's the water too. 

Robyn: Oh yeah, I couldn't even imagine. And I either drink it myself, I drink stale incense water the next day. *laughs*

Robyn: Hell yeah. 

Kim: Or I give it to one of the plants outside. Because I don't have any inside because I have a million animals. 

Robyn: Yeah, I put the coffee and the water into plants. So it still goes to something. I don't just toss it down the drain. But I personally, incense water is not for me. More power to you. A lot of respect for that. 

Kim: It's floral. 

Robyn: Couldn't do it personally. I like my water to not have grit in it. *laughs*

Kim: I keep it like two feet away. *laughs*

Robyn: I like a grit-free water personally, but you know, more power to you. 

Kim: It's like the first thing that I'll drink in the morning and at that point I'm just like, whatever. At that point you're just lost in sleep and you're just like, yeah, I'll just do my water. It's like literally not a full shot, so I just throw it back. 

Robyn: Oh my god. 

 Kim: It's the early morning. You can put anything in my mouth and I wouldn't know. 

Robyn: Yeah, I take shots. Why do you ask? You ever had incense water? Tastes like smoke and roses. It's delicious. 

Kim: Well, speaking of all the, well, for me, it's ancestors in that case. But do you have any family history with witchcraft or any, any, if they weren't actively witches or said they were witches, do you remember anything from childhood where you think, you know, that was pretty damn witchy? 

Robyn: Yeah, um, so I am mixed race. I grew up in a household with a Mexican mother and grandmother and my dad is a white guy. Freaking white guys. *laughs* Anyway, I'm only teasing. I am married to a white guy. So they're, they're everywhere. I can't escape them! 

*both laugh*

Robyn: But I grew up in a household that is Mexican, on one half of it, and while neither one of them will call themselves witches, I even referred to them as witches in the, like, about the author of my book, and my grandma was like, "Witches?!" She said something like "If I'm the big witch, then you must be the baby witch." And I went, "Sure, grandma." And she goes, "HahaHA!" She made fun of me for weeks. Anyway, but because of that, there, I mean, maybe this is my household, but it is also something that I have experienced with friends that are also of a Latin background, which is doing things like getting cleansed. You know, you'll have a demon on you, they say, or bad spirits or bad energy. Or let's say you've got an uncle who drinks a little too much. He goes and gets cleansed to get rid of the demon that is making him drink too much. So we'd do stuff like that. My mom would do like little things for protection. Like even to this day, she keeps iron in her car, like hanging from her mirror because it's, iron is protective. You would get like as a family, not as a fam- we didn't go as a family, but family members would go and get readings or have cleanses and stuff like that pretty regularly. And so, although they're all Catholic, um, that's how it is. 

Kim: That's witchy as hell though.

Robyn: Although listen, Catholicism is occult as fuck. It just is. Think about it. You all go sit down in this, this house. Okay. And these little chairs, you chant together like 15 times in an hour. They've got incense as an offering or cleansing or something. I don't know what the incense is for. It's gotta be, why the fuck else would you have incense if it wasn't for cleansing or an offering? They drink the *blood of their savior, and eat the flesh of their savior symbolically?* Hm, sounds pretty fuckin' witchy to me! Uh, it's occult as fuck, you can't change my mind. But yeah, we'd also do things like my grandma would pray to specific saints and light candles for them to like, you know, bring in money or whatever. Buy a house, sell a house, you bury, what is it? Saint... Is it Saint Anthony? 

Kim: Phillip? 

Robyn: No. I don't know. It's the Lord of the Animals. 

Kim: I don't retract everything I say. 

Robyn: It's the Lord of the Animals. 

Kim: Francis. That's the only one I know.

Robyn:  Francis, thank you. You put, you bury a statue of Saint Francis upside down in your yard to sell your house. And then when the house sells, you clean it off and you put it on your mantelpiece. In your new house. Just little things like that. You know, you'd lose something. You do a prayer to St. Expedite. Just so no, they would never describe that as witchcraft. They would describe that as Catholicism. But looking back, I'm like, y'all had novena candles and you're fucking leaving offerings to a saint because you can't find your keys. Like okay. Yeah, sure, and I'm the crazy one. *laughs*

Kim: That is so foreign to how I grew up. I just love, this is, that's why I love doing this, because I love hearing all the different ways that people live. 

Robyn: They, they, I know my grandma hasn't done a lot of that stuff in many years, um, because I don't know, she's old. She doesn't do things anymore. 

Kim: I know where my keys are myself. 

Robyn: Yeah, basically. And she also, like, she, she's drifted a lot from the church and stuff in the last like 10-15 years. She only goes on Christmas now, and I have to go with her, and she like donates money and just sits there quietly. Which is very different from when we were kids. So I think that there's something else going on there, you know what I mean? That I don't think she'll talk about, which is fine. But when we were little, definitely that's how it went. 

Kim: It always makes me sad when I hear about people's faith changing. 

Robyn: Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely not, I don't know how to feel about it. Like, we, I was baptized when I was little. We went to church every Sunday, and then one of the priests diddled a kid. Um, that's not good. And so, yeah, we stopped going because, because my dad just like was sick with the whole thing and we just stopped going. He was like, "I'm not going to put my kids at risk." Like, he's, it was like a weird, like, major shift for my parents on like questioning faith versus religion, if that makes sense. 

Kim: I just feel sad for people who go through major changes because changes make me physically ill. Like "Oh those poor people, something different happened and it makes them sick." 

Robyn: Yeah, yeah, no matter what it is. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what it is. It's Estelle.

Kim:  What would you say is your biggest motivator in witchcraft or your practice?

Robyn: My family. My family. Not even my extended family, but my immediate family. My husband, my child, my cat. Yeah, my family. I, honestly, it's so funny. When I was a kid, you know, your parents do these things for you to keep you safe, right? Maybe it's not magical, but any old little thing, you know, they get you the best car seat, they make sure that you have a safe ride home from school or whatever. And it wasn't until I had people that I wanted to keep safe that I really had a strong motivator that could keep me going, if that makes sense. In terms of magic, most of my magic is things like protection magic for my family. You know, daily ritual stuff. Not obviously like individual spell work like finances or moving or freaking, I don't know, uncrossing, whatever. But I would say my go-to magic, my biggest, I don't know, influence in my daily practice is protection magic. And I will do anything to keep them safe. I love them a lot. 

Kim: What would you say is your biggest struggle when it comes to witchcraft? 

Robyn: Other witches. *laughs* And I mean that. *laughs*Other witches.

Kim: *laughs* I mean, I didn't think about it until you said it, but then I immediately thought "Yes." 

Robyn: Yeah, other witches. Listen, these people have got way too much time on their hands. I think more people in our community need to take up a beautiful hobby like macrame, possibly puzzle making. Yeah, witches are fucking mean to each other. They're so mean and I don't even mean magically. It gets draining to constantly, like, you know... You have these... ugh, this is gonna sound really crotchety and I apologize for that in advance. But you have these people, in general, who tend to be new witches and there's nothing wrong with being a new witch. And I've met new witches that are so powerful and so smart and just like they've only been doing it for a year and a half and yet they really got their shit together and I love that. I love to see it. You have people that are just, you know, better at, you know, being brave for trial and error, let's say. Because that's really what it comes down to when you're a new witch, it's having the balls to try something, you know what I mean? 
And then you have these other new witches that have been doing it for like four minutes and they're the first ones to be like, "Well actually, this is how it's done." And I'm like, babe, I have been doing this longer than you have been alive. Like, if that's what it works for you, that's great. But you and I probably have very different traditions, very different paths. Like, you need to relax. You need to calm down. And then, you know, six months later, they've moved on to something else which is also fine, but I don't know. It's just, it's always these loud people that need to stay in their fucking lanes, or like the the type of people that like I'm, they don't like your attitude so they're gonna go and hex you. And I am listen I'm pro-hexing.

Kim: Oh gosh. 

Robyn: But who's got the time of day? I don't, listen, I'm raising a whole child. I do not have the time or energy to dedicate to a hex. *scoffs* Not right now, fuck with me in a couple years.

Kim:  Till they're at least in school. 

Robyn: Literally, wait till they're in like daycare or something and then have a problem. I just- I'm one of these people, I'm like, you need to go out into this world and make a single fucking friend. Like, one friend that you can, like, go bowling with or something, because you got way too much time on your hands. 

Kim: Well that covers what you dislike about the community, What do you like about it?

Robyn: *laughs* Oh gosh, you know what else, if we're gonna talk about what I dislike about the community, I also don't like how mean everyone is to me when I respond to anyone. Do you know how many times people will say to me, like, let's say I'm wearing a shirt. They're like, "Oh where'd you get that shirt?" I'm like, "Old Navy," right? That's my response, just Old Navy. And it's like, "You know, you don't have to take a fucking attitude about it." I'm like, I am not understanding what I've done here. You asked me a question and I answered it. 

Kim: You're the blinky face meme guy. 

Robyn: I'm like, what is happening? That happens to me like five times a day. I'm not even kidding you. I'll just like answer the question and people will be like, "You don't have to be so fucking rude." I'm like, bitch. If I don't respond, I get called a bitch, and I'm like, which one is it? Do I... I don't know how, do I need to say like "Thank you so much for asking" at the end of it? Cuz I'm not gonna do that. That's the other thing I don't like about the community- how mean people can be to me.

Kim: What the heck. 

Robyn: Goodness.

Kim:  I will say that I have not seen very many people have to post like things that I see in your story.

Robyn:  Oh my God, it's literally constant. It's literally, I had somebody, so Instagram specific, I only have this problem on Instagram and I think it's just because of how Instagram functions, because I don't have this sort of interactions on any other platform. Instagram will do this thing where if you, let's say, respond to a story of mine or you send me a message and the account is not that old, and I don't know what they equate as an old account, or if you don't, I don't know, you don't have many posts up, freaking whatever, right? They will put it in a hidden folder. 

Kim: Oh yeah. 

Robyn: And then I have to go through my hidden messages and I'll have like... hundreds of them. 

Kim: Yeah. 

Robyn: And granted, most of them will be scam accounts. I'd say 50% will be ones that'll be like, you know, Grand Rising, I got a great feeling from your name, would you like reading? And I'm like, no, you didn't know. And it's your entity. 

Kim: And it's from- 

Robyn: Yeah, it's from Blair Witch with like three H's, O3 at the end. Like, yeah, so... 

Kim: Fucking assholes. 

Robyn: I, a very large majority of my messages get sent there. And unless I like remember to go check that hidden folder, which is like, four clicks deep. It's not like I can just see it. 

Kim: Even when it'll say zero, you still have to click it and there's still some there. 

Robyn: Exactly. And so like, I most of them get sent there. I don't know why. And it's like five things deep. So I have to like purposely think about it. And I literally had a message where some lady was like responding to something I said. And I of course didn't see it because it was in hidden messages. So then she responds to something else I said. And then says to me, oh you're running this account like a business. Not like for friends. Ma'am, I have 80,000 followers. What made you think I was running this for friends? Like, do you think I have 80,000 friends?

*both laugh*  Like, she said that. 

Kim: That's a "First of all" situation. 

Robyn: And then she goes, it's fine. You sound like a fucking bitch anyway. That's what she said. And then unfollowed me. 

Kim: What the fuck?

Robyn: And I like...

Kim: Bye, bitch. 

Robyn: Hello? This whole conversation happened in like a less than 24 hour like time frame. I didn't respond to a total stranger in less than 24 hours and so that makes me a bitch. What? 

Kim: The internet made people real weird about communication. 

Robyn: Literally it just happens on Instagram like this. Like I post just hot garbage on Twitter all day, and I do not get the amount of insane hate that I get on Instagram. And I do not understand why. And I think I really do blame the hidden folder thing, because it almost all happens in there. 

Kim: Did you ever find the Crocs you wanted? 

Robyn: Hell yeah, I did. I'm wearing them right now. I'm wearing them right now. I literally am. They're the 2022 seasonal flower crocs. They tell everyone that I get lots of bitches, so... Sliding into your local Walmart. Sliding into your local Walmart letting people know that I've bought these off of Mercari, because that's the only place I can find them. 

Kim: I still can't find mine. 

Robyn: Try Mercari. 

Kim: Jesus. I'll have to because they just vanished again after like they reappear every like ten years. Anyway. 

Robyn: Oh yeah, I was supposed to answer what I like about the community, wasn't I? 

Kim: Oh yeah. *laughs*

Robyn: And then I just talked about people calling me a bitch on the internet. Whoops! 

Kim: Well I had completely forgotten so I'm glad you're with it.

Robyn: *laughs*  I like lots of things about our community. I actually love our community a lot. Listen, there's a lot of little micro issues and I think that those issues are not unique to witchcraft. I think, that is, anybody in any kind of niche sub-community experiences the exact same problems that our community has, right? Um, I just, I just, people are, people are know-it-all sometimes, and I think that that is not unique to witchcraft. Uh, but what I love about our community is I, for example, on my Discord, the one that's on my Patreon, I've watched these 40-something individuals, like, support each other, and grow together, and brainstorm, and ask each other questions that maybe in other environments in our community, because of the know-it-all shit, right? That they would be afraid to ask or whatever, and they get the questions answered. And they get to help each other grow. 
And this isn't unique, you know, to my Patreon discord or whatever, but it is unique to like little pockets of our community where I know that these other little pockets exist. You know what I mean? And I like that. I like that you have all these fringe people that are able to come together, and support each other, and help each other, and help each other grow, and say stuff that maybe you couldn't at maybe the Thanksgiving table without, you know, getting a few looks at minimum. And get to just say these things and share these experiences. And I just think it's really cool. 

Kim: I absolutely agree. And I love that you said it, because now I have words for it. But yeah, the little, the little, yeah, it's so great. I love my little patrons too. My little group. I love them!

Robyn:  I love my patrons. Listen, I would die for my patrons. Straight up. Like I don't even say that sarcastically. They're such amazing people. I love them so much. Our Discord Patreon members, I feel like a proud mother watching so many of them like grow, and expand, and be brave, you know what I mean? And ask questions that they like, will apologize like, oh, sorry, that's probably stupid. And you have three other people backing them up, being like, that's not stupid. I would have asked that question too. And I love it. I love it. I think it's amazing. 

Kim: Me too! Ours is a Marco Polo group, but yes. 

Robyn: That's cute.! 

Kim: Same, same, same. I love it so much. They're my little family. 

Robyn: Yeah. Yeah, I just, I don't know. I'm really, really proud of all of them. I'm proud of our Discord space. I'm proud of everybody in Patreon, of course, because they're wanting to take those steps to learn more and expand their horizons, etc. But in the Discord, of course, we talk to these people. Yeah. And so I get to know them, and see them grow, and watch them expand, and it's something that I really love. And I know that it's not something that is unique to our Patreon. There are so many other like groups, and settings out there that are more intimate, and I don't know, I really like that. I like the fact that people can come together and talk about crazy shit. Because realistically, if you were not a member of... a member, like we all have cards. If you were a person that is in our community and you were like, oh my god, I'm pretty sure that there was this ghost that's been like haunting my house, let's say, or I got a sign from this, you know, deity that, you know, I should be doing this, or I had a vision or whatever, if you were in any other setting, people would be like, all right. Sure you did.

 Kim: Have you taken your meds?

Robyn:  Sure, Jan. Yes. And I don't know. I think it's cool. I think it's cool that people can do that, and just build these little families. 

Kim: What brings you the most joy in your practice? 

Robyn: Probably just knowing that I get whatever I want whenever I want and nobody can stop me. 

Kim: What the hell? 

Robyn: I'm unstoppable. HA HA HA HA HAAAA! Yeah I get whatever I want. Listen, I manifested my entire husband. He's exactly the person that I wanted out of a partner, down to physical appearance even. If I'm in a financial crutch, I usually can do spell work to get me out of it so that way I'm not in a deficit. I'm safe. There have been multiple times where I've almost gotten into car accidents or whatever and I, somehow by like the skin of my teeth, gotten out of it where, no accident, safe. I thank all that to witchcraft. I'm unstoppable, is what I'm saying. I'm literally a force to be reckoned with. Please do not text me guys, I have a baby. Please, I don't have the energy for this. Don't do that. I mean, I will send it back to you and it will be a thousand times worse than anything you sent my way, but I just don't want to do that, so like, let's just not. This isn't a challenge. 

Kim: Do you know, I was thinking you meant actual men. 

Robyn: No. 

Kim: Dudes trying to hit it. 

Robyn: *shrieklaughs* God, no, absolutely not. I take up so much space in a room, men do not hit on me. Yeah, I take up a lot of space. Like, I don't mean even physically. Like, I'm really fucking loud. I have obnoxious blue hair. I dress obnoxiously. And if you're annoying me, I'll just tell you, and so that's not something that's pulling the gentleman in. 

*both laugh*

Kim: What would you say is the most surprising thing about being a witch?

Robyn:  I don't know. 

Kim: Or about your podcast? 

Robyn: Oh my podcast? My business. I think probably the most surprising thing about being a witch on the internet, well let's put it that way, about being a person online who does witchcraft, is the fact that I have found, you know how people are constantly, and I mean I am people. But we talk about, you get the hate messages from the people that are like, "You're gonna burn in hell, die!" I have found, the most surprising thing about being a person, a witch on the internet is actually how many friends that I've made since like coming out as a witch online that do not share my beliefs at all, but have enough respect for them that we're able to have a common ground and discuss things. Do you know what I mean? 

KIm: Yeah. Hmmm.

Robyn: I have like, I have a friend who's a priest. I have friends that are nuns. I have friends that are like super Christians. All that and I, I don't know, that's been my most surprising thing. 

Kim: Do you feel like you met them because of this?

Robyn:  I know I met them because of this.

Kim: That's so neat!

Robyn:  Yeah, isn't that wild? isn't that crazy? 

Kim: Yes. That's neat. Interesting.

Robyn:  I think when you kind of have this attitude that I try to take, I'm of course not perfect at it at all times, but I do try to take an attitude of, you know, put out into the world what you want to have back. And so I give people tolerance and patience and an ear about their beliefs, even if I don't believe in them. And I have found that when you approach people with kindness on their spiritual beliefs, they tend to reciprocate. I think our community in general has a genuine problem with projecting their own religious traumas onto all religious people. And I don't think that's fair. 

Kim: I am guilty of that but I also try to stay conscious of it and then shut my face.

Robyn:  Well, yeah, I think everybody has... not everybody, that's not fair to say. A lot of people have religious trauma that are in our community. I think that's a very common theme and there's so much validity in it. But we all we also have to remember sometimes that these strange individuals that we don't know aren't the people who caused our religious trauma. You know what I mean?

Kim:  Yes. Yes. 

Robyn: I don't know. I just it's something that has taking me a really long time to get here. I definitely am not perfect about it. I definitely didn't start this way. So like, don't think that I'm sat on a high horse being like, no, I've always been this way. No, I was the little asshole when I was like 21, 22, that was like, "Fuck Christians!" I still think there is some validity to that. But I also think that, I don't know, like, I personally have found that I've been met with so much understanding and patience when I meet people with that way, if I when I lead by example, if you will. 

Kim: Do you feel that social media affects your practice? And if so, how? 

Robyn: No. No, I don't think that social media affects my practice. Most of the stuff that I share on social media are, is examples, or demonstrative, to give people inspiration or a stepping stone for their own practice. It is not my actual practice. Not that it isn't a actual reflection of my practice, but my practice is not on the internet at all. I have never once shared actual spell work or similar on social media because that's private, that's for me. Now there Now, there have been times where I have shared spell work that is from several months back, right? 

Kim: Yeah. 

Robyn: You know, old spell work, etc. 

Kim: Stuff that's done. 

Robyn: Way done. Closed chapter. The book's closed. It's done. But I do not, I don't try to make up practice or spell work for myself under some social media pressure. Because I think that's really inauthentic. And I think that that is, uh, unfortunately a trap that a lot of people have fallen into, which I totally empathize with. Social media is a fricking rat race, man. But it's not something that I personally try to keep up with, if that makes sense. I will have like inspiration, if you will, for making content to help people, and I'll just film a whole bunch of it when I have those kind of inspiration strikes. But yeah, my practice is not affected at all by social media because I don't put it online. Or... I do put it online. That's not fair to say. I do not do it to put it online. Does that make sense? 

Kim: Yeah. 

Robyn: Like sometimes, yeah, sometimes it incidentally will go on to the internet, but I don't make it to go on to the internet. 

Kim: Yeah! Do you feel like you owe anything to your followers or listeners? 

Robyn: Yes and no. I feel like I owe them honesty. I feel like I owe them integrity. I feel like I owe them, you know, a safe space to be themselves. I don't feel like I owe anyone specific kind of content outside of not veering from the topic at which I am creating. If I were to suddenly be like, "And now I only make macrame," on social media, I feel like I'd be doing them a really big disservice, because they don't follow me to learn about macrame, they follow me because they want to see a witch living her life and maybe learn about tarot and spells. So, you know, incidentally, that might mean sometimes I post about macrame. By the way, I don't do macrame. I just love using that as an example. 

Kim: You know, I was wondering why that was coming up multiple times. 

Robyn: I love using it as an example because macrame is something nobody fucking does, and I love you as an example because it's like such a weird little niche fiber hobby. 

Kim: I think more people should, because knot magic? Also plant hangers. 

Robyn: Fully a thing. As well as we are FRINGE people, and macrame has FRINGE... You see what I'm doing there? 

Kim: Oh no. Bravo. 

Robyn: Thank you. But yeah, I feel like I owe people that. I don't feel like I owe people... I don't know. I think there's more I don't owe people, that I think people are not ready to hear. But I do think that I owe people honesty, and integrity, and the willingness to say things like, hey, I don't know. I don't know that. I don't know that. Why don't we look at it together? Or, hey, I do know that, but I don't know enough about it to comfortably talk about it. That sort of thing. Which I think is, again, one of those traps that people fall into with social media is they feel like they need to be this expert in everything. And that's not real life. 

Kim: You gotta always have the answer. 

Robyn: But that's just it. Sometimes the answer is, I don't know. And I think if more people got comfortable with saying that they don't know things as opposed to just opening their mouth and coming up with horseshit, um, I think our community would thrive. 

Kim: It's so freeing to be able to say, I don't know. I wish more people would realize it. 

Robyn: Listen, I've got a huge following and I say it all the time. I don't know. And there's like, I don't know, I think that people who either just ignore their followers instead of saying they don't know, or come up with bullshit, they do themselves a massive disservice, and the community. 

Kim: The reason I came up with this question, and I like hearing different how different people interpret it, is because I followed someone on YouTube and one of their other followers implied that they needed to change the way that they looked because it was owed. 

Robyn: Ha! Suck my dick! *laughs boisterously* Listen! Listen! 

Kim: And I like hearing the different interpretations of how people, and I don't give any parameters for the question. I like hearing people hear it.

Robyn:  Do I owe to look a certain way? Literally suck my whole asshole. Absolutely not. No. No no no no no. No no no no no no no no. That follower would get blocked so quick, isn't that even funny.

Kim: Yeah, we got into a little battle. 

Robyn: My friend Olivia, uh, Witch of Wonderlust? Olivia once said something in response to a follower that said something in a very similar vein. They said something like, I miss your witchcraft content or something like that. Which Olivia still posts witchcraft content literally constantly, but what the follower meant was, I don't like that you post other things that aren't just witchcraft content. And Olivia said, if you want my content, you get all my content, not just what you have decided I should or shouldn't post. And I think that's such a good mentality about it. You know, um, real people are behind these accounts. And yeah, I think, I think social media has created this conversation that I think a lot of people don't have the self-reflection to realize they're doing, which is that you have somebody like me who has 80,000 followers. So that's a big number. I fully respect that, right? 
But as soon as it's more than like 10,000, 20,000 followers, suddenly we get put into this mental bracket that is the same as a Kylie Jenner. And I am, first of all, I'm not a fucking Kylie Jenner. Your girl lives in a bus. But the problem is, you see the Kylie Jenner, you see the Tired Witch, let's say, and you put them in the same mental creator pocket. And the biggest difference between me and Kylie Jenner is I am one person, and I don't have a makeup team. I don't have a hair team. I don't have a social media manager. I don't have an assistant. I don't have, you know, all these kind of people assisting me to make it happen.

Kim:  Running your Instagram account. 

Robyn: Yeah, and I think a lot of people forget that like Tired Witch is literally Robin Valentine, and that's it. So when you are telling me, let's say, that I'm too fat-

Kim: Get fucked!

Robyn: ...to be posting a picture of myself on there nowadays. I'm not even joking. That literally got 12 comments about saying that. But it doesn't matter. 

Kim: I will punch a bitch in the face. 

Robyn: Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. When the thing that people seem to kind of forget is that you aren't telling that to my assistant or some AI program. You're telling that literally to me, a person. And I just, I think people forget that. And they do a lot of "You owe this to me," right? The consumer, which frankly is fine. Like it is fine that they feel that they are owed a certain type of content. You know, think of it like when you buy a book, you have an impression of what the book's going to have in it. You don't get that and you feel like, what the heck? Like I was misled. Fine. You know, people are allowed to have feedback that isn't all positive all the time, but then what they're not, they don't realize is that they go and they say, "Hey, you owe me this and you're not providing it." But then the consumer end of it is treating that person that they want certain stuff from like some sort of verbal punching bag. And, I don't know, it's a difficult little dance. Because on one hand I'm like, hey, you know, you're giving feedback. But on the other hand, maybe you don't need to do that feedback in such a mean way. Kim: Yeah, try not being a dick. 

Robyn: Consider not being an asshole. Try it out, it's real fun. Give it a shot, if you will. 

Kim: I want that to be one of the sound bites. *laughs*

Robyn: Try not being a piece of shit. Hint, they're not going to do it. The people who are assholes are going to do it no matter what. And if you tell them they're being an asshole, then you're cyber attacking them. 

Kim: They asshole even harder!

Robyn:  You know, it's crazy to me. Listen, this is the craziest thing that I've learned since being a content creator, is apparently somebody can come onto your page, publicly leave a comment. So it's not like even a private message. They commented on something where anyone can see, right? And say something horrible, like how I'm a shitty mom because I believe in abortion. Let's just start with that one.

Kim: The fuck?

Robyn: Oh yeah, that was one that happened. Uh, told me that I should be, what'd she say? She said that I should be... something like ashamed to call myself a mother or something like that. That was a small business by the way. They commented that on their small business account on my page. 

Kim: Oh, brilliant. 

Robyn: Fucking genius. But then I'm the asshole if I screenshot that and put it in my story. So I take their public comment and then I put it somewhere else. I am cyberbullying them. Ma'am, you commented this on a public page. 

Kim: Bitch! 

Robyn: This was not a private message. I'm not sharing your private message. I'm sharing a public comment. 

Kim: That you didn't ask for. 

Robyn: That I, not only did I not ask for, but you have not deleted. And I will put it somewhere else. 

Kim: Oh, she still didn't delete it? *laughs* 

 Robyn: No, she never deleted it. She blocked me. 

Kim: Oh well. 

Robyn: She blocked me because I said that I was really proud to be a mom actually, and that I wouldn't be the mom that I am if it wasn't for the abortions that I had before this. And she told me I was like stupid or something. And then blamed me. You showed me! You showed me! Yeah, that was on a small business. 

Kim: Oh my god. 

Robyn: Commented that. They had like 8 or 9 thousand followers too. So cool. 

Kim: People have to think that she was probably pretty public about her views. So they probably applauded her.

Robyn:  No. I went and looked, she had not posted about it anywhere. 

Kim: Oh! Brilliant.

Robyn:  she was just being a dirty little commenter. Just a little dirty comment. 

Kim: She thought she was on her sock account. 

Robyn: God, how embarrassing is that? So Like, imagine being like, I'm a business, buy from me. By the way, I don't like women. So funny. By the way, I hate women. Thought you guys should know. Anyway, you should buy from my small business. I sell crystals. I sell crystals. 

Kim: Oh no, it was a crystal person? 

Robyn: Yeah. 

Kim: What the? *sighs*

Robyn: Listen, I got a real big page. Yeah Listen I got a real big picture. I got a real big post that said, what did the post say, let me see it's that way.

Kim:  I saw it, I saw the post!

Robyn:  Yeah, the artwork one about the abortions, you can only ban safe abortions. Go ahead and scroll down, the comment's still there. She never deleted it Yeah, she's cool. That's really cool. I also hate women. Please delete that. *laughs* Oh lord. 

Kim: Do you ever feel like you have imposter syndrome? 

Robyn: Yeah, constantly. 

Kim: Really? 

Robyn: Literally, yeah. 

Kim: I really thought you were going to say no. 

Robyn: Yes and no. When it comes to my job, so like I am a professional tarot reader, that is my day job. That's yeah, I work like for services. I'm a psychic to the stars. I actually am. I've read for Megan Fox. 

Kim: Neat. 

Robyn: Anyway. Yeah, very neat. That's very cool for me. I love telling people that I'm a professional pet psychic and psychic to the stars and they're like, what? I'm like, I've done both one time. So... *laughs* anyway.

Kim: So what? It counts now. 

Robyn: Yeah. When it comes to my job, I am very confident in what I do. Um, so I don't have any imposter syndrome when it comes to that. When it comes to things like content creating, I do doubt myself a lot, especially when we have things like, for example, when we talked about appropriation of white women, with white women earlier, there are things that I have been sometimes ignorant to that I did not realize was appropriative. And then I later learned, and I of course had to correct myself and make addendums, etc. Because I now have this new information that I didn't know before. And so sometimes I have this imposter syndrome where I'm like, where did I learn this from? Did I learn this? Where does this come from? Am I maybe like giving people bad information and not realizing it? And it doesn't happen often, but it does happen enough that I think it's worth noting that I, psychic to the stars Robyn Valentine, sometimes even I like get imposter syndrome. It totally happens. Not all the time, you know, but I think it would be a lie if I said never. 

Kim: Who or what would you say are the three biggest influences on your practice? 

Robyn: I think, well, first of all, I think Maria, my co-host, is a huge influence on my practice, as well as Temperance Alden. They're two of my closest friends that are also happen to be witches, and I think that there's a lot of kind of feedback that we give each other and bounce ideas off of. I wouldn't say, you know, that we're a coven or anything like that. But I do think that we are friends who can talk and I will send them texts that'll be like, does this sound crazy? Is this, I'm going to do this thing. What do you think about that? So I think that they're a really big influence on my practice. Although our traditions and personal practices are so different. Like Maria and I could not have less similar practices. And Temp's, like, an Irish folk witch, but she's also an animist, and I'm not an animist. I mean, I know about it, but it's definitely not something that I would say I'm versed in. So we're all very, very different, and yeah, I think that their viewpoints on things, their feedback... It makes me a better witch. If that makes sense. 

Kim: Yeah. 

Robyn: And then I think that the other biggest influence on my practice is quite frankly, my husband, who is not a magical person at all. Um, he's, he's Catholic. And, but, but he's Catholic, but he comes from kind of a different background that isn't your traditional Catholic background. And he's got his own little superstitions and stuff like that. And we talk about things like the afterlife, and spirituality, and witchcraft. And he brings a perspective to things that... I don't even think he realizes has such an impact on me. And I don't know, I, I think it helped shape me. Not just as a witch, but just to be a better person, you know? 

Kim: Well, that's good. 

Robyn: Yeah. He's a good egg. We love him.  I'm gonna keep him. 

Kim: Who do you think it would be fun to hear from, answering questions like this? Like, could you recommend someone for me to approach? 

Robyn: I think either Maria or Temp would be amazing, amazing people to have on here. They're both so smart. I love them very much and I think that they, like I said, they have very different approaches and practices than me, but they're so concrete in what they do. I love them a lot. 

Kim: That makes me so happy. I love that! And now are the two surprise questions that I don't tell anybody what they are. First, please, and they're not even questions. Please recommend something to listeners. 

Robyn: Anything at all. Recommend anything at all?

Kim:  Yep. 

Robyn: Anything at all. I can recommend anything at all. 

Kim: Somebody said zebra cakes once. 

Robyn: Oh hell yeah that's such a good recommendation. First of all who was that? I want to be their friend. 

Kim: It was Charlye from the Witch Bitch Amateur Hour. 

Robyn: Oh god I love her. Okay so if I could recommend anything this... listen. I mean this very serious, so whoever's listening to this needs to sit down. They need to embrace what I'm about to say. You need to take your B12 vitamins and you need to take your D3 vitamins. You probably have seasonal depression and you don't even realize it. Listen, most people are deficient in vitamin D and B. Okay, get a B complex even. Obviously, of course, talk to your doctor first. I'm not trying to be that person, but you probably need both. At minimum, get a multivitamin. For real, it's going to change your life. 

Kim: I was literally just telling my husband literally last week that I need some B vitamins.

Robyn:  Yeah. I take B complex and a D3 every single day, as well as a prenatal vitamin. Um, but that's because I'm breastfeeding, the prenatal. But... now everyone's thinking about my mommy milkers. You're welcome. But for real, get B12. Get D3. Listen, everybody sits there and they say shit to vegans and they're like, what about your B12? Actually, almost every American is deficient to some degree on B12. It'll make your brain work better. Take it. 

Kim: Dang it. 

Robyn: And on top of that, both those vitamins, if you don't need as much as you take, obviously don't fucking take 12 pills at once. Take the prescribed amount on the bottle. But your body will  pee it...

Kim: Don't try to catch up.

Robyn:  Yeah. Your body will just pee out what it doesn't need, so you might have some neon green piss. Listen, we all have it. It's fine. I got neon pee. So what. It's not illegal. Take, take your vitamins guys. That's super important. 

Kim: That's the sound bite. That's the sound bite. 

Robyn: It makes your your brain work better.

Kim:  The last thing. Please tell me a story that you love to tell. It's you, generally one that when you get around people with whom you're very familiar and you just start talking and this story comes up. 

Robyn: Does it have to be about witchcraft? Nope anything at all. It's just whatever story you love telling. 

Robyn: Um, I love telling this story and if you listen to my podcast, you maybe have already heard it because I'm pretty sure I brought it up on there once. I have to have, because so many people have roasted me about this story that I have to have. Either that or I did it on Twitch. Um, I don't know. I told this story before but I'm going to tell it again. Okay, everybody's familiar with Babybel cheeses, right? We're all familiar with them, little red babybel cheeses. Well, like most children in the 90s, I was so afraid of not getting enough milk in my body. Listen, if you grew up in the 90s, you know what I'm talking about. 

Kim: It does your body good. 

Robyn: Yeah, it was the milk mustache commercials. They were constantly telling you that you were calcium deficient, you needed milk. 

Kim: You're going to fall down and your hip's just going to explode.

Robyn: You're literally going to, listen. If you do not drink a whole milk glass every single day, your hips will explode into dust by the time you're 30. That was the propaganda we were fed in the 90s. Now granted maybe it wasn't those exact words, but you know if you were alive in the 90s at a, you know, a cognitive level, you know what I'm talking about. Every bitch was like, every celebrity was on a got milk ad. 

Kim: Oh my gosh. 

Robyn: And they'd be like, "Happy cows come from California! Anyway, maybe that's just a California ad. I don't know. 

Kim:  I vaguely remember it. Yeah. I'm from the East coast. 

Robyn: So there you go. I remember that. Everyone was just so afraid of not getting enough calcium in their body because  Big Milk was working their propaganda. Um, it worked. We bought so much milk. Anyway, one of the milk products that my mom kept in the fridge at all times was those babybel cheeses. And she'd put like five of them in our lunches every day. 

Kim: Oh my god. 

Robyn: Okay. Yeah, she, listen, we were very afraid of milk, not getting enough, as well as I'm now incredibly lactose intolerant. 

Kim: Eyyyy. *laughs*

Robyn: Um, yeah. Anyway, so when I was like five or six, um, we, we, so I grew up in Sonoma County, which is just north of San Francisco. Like when I was little, I was in the Sonoma County area and there's a lot of cheese, like dairy places where they make cheese. And my parents were really big on taking us places where things were made. And one of them was a dairy where cheese was made, and I learned about like cheese being put in like rinds, like, like brie. And you know you can eat the rind of the cheese right of brie. 

Kim: Okay...

Robyn: So my dumb ass legitimately thought that the wax on the outside of babybels, you were supposed to eat. And this went on until I was like 14. I was eating cheese wax...

Kim: *laughs* Oh my god...

Robyn: ...until I was like 14 and I had a sleepover with my friend. Shout out to Christina. Hope you're doing well, babe. Um, had a sleepover and I was eating my cheese wax and she was "Like girlfriend what are you doing? and I was like "Eating a delicious babybel, why do you ask? she's like "No, I can see that... why are you eating the wax? and I was like "It's the cheese rind." and she's like "You're dumb as fuck." she's like "That is not cheese, that is wax." she's like "There is a piece of paper..."

Kim: *laughing* You ate the paper too?!?

Robyn: Girl I ate the whole thing! I ate the whole damn thing. I at the whole fucking thing to the point that I told this story before and people roast me for it so badly, I'm not even kidding you. So babybel recently came out with a vegan babybel.

Kim: Oh.

Robyn: I'm vegan. So it's dairy-free, comes in a little green wax flavor. And I posted something on twitter like "My therapist will be hearing about this" or something like, and my fucking friend commented on it and goes "So you're telling me you want to know what green tastes like now." I was like, I'll kill myself! So yeah, that is actually my 13th reason, is the fact that I was one of George Bush's children left behind, and I did eat the Babybel wax for a solid decade and a half. So you know, listen guys, influencers are just like you. There's...

*both laugh*

Kim: *laughing* oh my god...

Robyn:  Yeah, so I am gonna eat the green wax. I do want to know what it tastes like, what the flavor is. I'm not above trying a little bit of wax. I've done it before, for years. So, you know, I wonder what green tastes like. I did, I ate the paper as well. The whole shebang.

Kim: *stilll laughing* I was literally about to drive a car, that's how old I was, when I found out that you do not eat the wax. First of all, I have a lot of questions. Where was my mom? Why did she- *laughs* just LET me eat wax. She was just like, "Eh, she's dumb as shit, let her do it."

Kim:  But I also have this vision of you like secretly nibbling little round cheese in a corner where nobody could see you. And that's why nobody said anything. 

Robyn: Listen, here's the deal. I think there's something a lot of people can relate to. I'm about being really hashtag relatable, on main. I was raised by boomers. They did not pay attention to me at all. My ass was probably sat right next to them eating cheese and my mom was just like, don't look at her. 

Kim: "What are you doing, getting your calcium? Great."

Robyn: My mom was just like, "I don't know what she's doing. That's fucking crazy. But my stories are on the TV." Yeah. So... 

Kim: Oh my god. Oh Jesus H. *laughs*

Robyn: I love talking about the Babybel story because... 

Kim: Holy shit. *laughs*

Robyn: When I tell you... when I tell you probably would have been an early indicator that I was going to be a George Bush child left behind. Uh, shout out to 2005. Uh, love to see it. Yeah. I fully failed that test. I did not know the difference between a noun and a verb. I was a George Bush child left behind. I love saying that at all chances I can get because I am an author. I'm a published author now. And I did not know what a noun or a verb was. I was like, couldn't tell you. I've never seen that man in my life. I don't know who Verb is, but he sounds like a dick. 

Kim: *laughs* Alright. Let me get my shit together. 

Robyn: So what I am saying is if I suddenly get an uptick of Babybel memes being thrown my way, just know that I will assault you. I'm just kidding I won't. I told you this with the confidence that I know I'm gonna get memes thrown at me, and that's fine. I ate wax. Who can blame ya? Ya know? I will say the wax was very soft, and had no flavor to it. So maybe you guys should try it. Why don't we do like a little test? A little test. Everyone go try the Babybel cheese.

Kim:  It seems like it would be very satisfying to chew. 

Robyn: Try it and let me know what you think! Instagram challenge! Eat the babybel wax! 

Kim: I may, there may be a video of me eventually of me biting into it. 

Robyn: Please, and tag me. We'll make it a trend. Hashtag babybel challenge. 

Kim: Oh no. 

Robyn: Get the vegan one too. You can try both flavors. Let me know how it is. 

Kim: They have like five flavors. I'll get all the damn flavors. 

Robyn: No, no, no. I meant the wax color, not the cheese. Kim: Oh, I thought they were all different colors. 

Robyn: Are they?

Kim:  Isn't there a yellow one? I don't know. I haven't bought it in a long time, and I'll only go to Costco where they're coming with big ass packages. 

Robyn: Oh, I have a funny, I have a second, I have a sunny, second funny, just little idea. They are in different colors. You're right. I just Googled it. There's black, red, maroon, blue, and yellow, and now Green! 

Kim: Fancy. Fuckin' fancy. 

Robyn: Well, I have only tried the red flavor, so I'm gonna have to try all the flavors now. The buffet. My husband is gonna be like, what in the fuck is wrong with you? Um, there was a purple flavor as well! 

Kim: What? 

Robyn: Yeah. I don't know what the flavor of the actual cheese is. Oh, it's cheddar. Well there we have it.

Kim: Huh. I know we have like a Gouda. That's the one I want. Is it yellow? 

Robyn: Hold on, hold on. It's Bonbell? Light, Gouda, Gouda's brown. Cheddar, original. They've got... Oh, the cheddar used to be in yellow or purple. And now it's the other way around. So cheddar has switched colors. Wild times we're living in.

Kim: "This isn't grape!"

Robyn: "This is the worst grape product I've ever had." 

Kim: Well, thanks for being on the show. 

Robyn: You're welcome. I'm talking to me. Letting me talk about babybels. Really, babybel challenge needs to start. So, I'll be looking out for her. 

Kim: Next time we go to the store...

Robyn: take a nice little bite. Tell me what the brown one tastes like. I've only ever had the red one. 

Kim: Oh yeah, that's the kind, if I don't get the red one, then I get the Gouda. I like it. It doesn't taste like Gouda. 

Robyn: I'm sure it's delicious. I'm sure it's delicious. 

Kim: I've not tried the wax, though, so it's on. 

Robyn: Well, you're missing out when I tell you it really brings a little something, you know? A little something to the table. All right well thanks for having me.

Kim:  I guess it's time to go eat some cheese. 

Robyn: Yeah go tell me tell me about your babybel experience, I want to know about it. 

Kim: Bye! 

Robyn: Bye! It's time for another love letter. This one says, love this podcast. It's so informative yet super down to earth. I love learning about how each new person interviewed views and practices their craft. Thank you so much. I don't know what down to earth necessarily is, but I'm glad that I am it. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode of Your Average Witch. You can find us all around the internet on Instagram @ YourAverageWitchPodcast, Twitter at Average Witch Pod, Facebook at Facebook.com/youraveragewitchpodcast, at YourAverageWitch.com, and at your favorite podcast service. Want to help the podcast grow? Leave a review. You can review us on Amazon and Apple Podcasts, and now you can rate us on Spotify. You just might hear your review read at the end of the next episode. To rate your average which on Spotify, click the home key, click on Tour Average Witch pPodcast, and then leave a rating. You can also support the show by going to patreon.com/cleverkimscurios. If you'd like to recommend someone for the podcast, like to be on it yourself, or if you'd like to advertise on the podcast, send an email to youraveragewitchpodcast at gmail.com. Thanks for listening and I'll see you when the moon changes.