Season 8 Episode 7: Future Me With Coach Mummabear

Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Chances are, you’re not! Maybe not even 5 years ago, or even last year. Yet we tend to think that who we are now is who we will be in the future. Not necessarily! Especially if you invest in future self science work!   Grab a cuppa and listen in as Master Certified Life Coach Melissa Wiggins explains how to add this very important tool to your tool kit, and how it helps you make better decisions TODAY.

PLUS, Melissa leads you through a short BONUS meditation to connect you with your future self. (20:33)

VISIT Danielgilbert.com to learn more about Dan Gilbert and find links to his books

WATCH his TED Talk: The Psychology of Your Future Self

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#futureself #decisions

#retreat #mastercoaching #beliefs #masterlifecoach

Find the FULL Transcript Here: Season 8 Episode 7: Future Me with Coach Mummabear

Transcript

Melissa Wiggins  00:05

For living your favorite version of your life, your empowered version of your life, your best version, whatever one of those works for you, you need to add future self science to your practice to your toolbox. I'm going to ask you to not so much think about your future self, but connect with your future self. Want to make better decisions, you want to save more, you want to move your body more, you want to eat better, you want to invest in your future?  Do this work.

Hello, lassies and lads. Welcome to another episode of Coaching and a Cup of Tea with Mummabear. I'm finally doing a solo podcast. If you have been a fan of the podcast, you know that I love doing solo podcasts, I feel like it is me just putting my brains out on the table for everybody to listen to. Today, I have a really important topic that I wanted to enter it season II and bring this to you. We are recording this in real time. This literally will go out in a couple of days. And the reason why I decided to do it was I was working on this with my mastermind, Empowered Life. And it was having such a big impact that I decided I have to do something on the podcast to try to change your mind about this topic. And I'm like hesitant to see the topic name only because I think instantly when I see it, people think it's woowoo. So today, I'm going to convince you that future self science needs to be a part of your strategy for living, your favorite version of your life, your empowered version of your life, your best version, whatever one of those works for you. You need to add future self science to your practice to your toolbox. Okay, lassies this is what I need you to promise me. Are we in agreement? Okay, I'm going to take that as a yes.

Okay. The first time I heard about a future self stuff, I for sure was like, wow, that's woowoo like, why would I visualize like myself and the future. And I really have done a lot of research on why you should do that. And why it needs to be a part of your practice, why it needs to be in your toolbox. So what I'm going to do today and this solo podcast, I'm going to give you some background to Well, if you've been listening long enough, you know, I'm a little bit of a nerd. I love research. I love psychology, I love neuroscience. And I try to with every episode, especially the solo episodes, give you my reasoning and research and background on why this is an important topic or why it's important to be a part of your strategy for living your favorite life. So I'm going to go into all of that. Not in too much depth, but really just sort of giving you an understanding of where future self science came from. And then I'm going to do a visualization exercise with you. So stay listening lassies this episode is super important to do especially at the turn of the year. So we're in December you're going to listen to this in real time. It's literally going to come out on Christmas Day. What could be a better episode for Christmas D than you know, you cooking the turkey listening to Melissa Wiggins, Coach Mummabear, your wee Scottish pal about future sell. So I hope that I'm making you smile. I know that there are probably children running around and most of my listeners are self made mummabears who are trying to run their business on their family and do it to the best of their ability. And you are all my flippin heroes. So if you're listening to this in real time on Christmas day 2022 This episode, I believe, could change everything.

So where did this idea of future selves come from? There is a very famous philosopher called Derek Parfit. And if you listen to any TED talks by Harvard psychologist or read any articles in Psychology Today, or Harvard review, like NFN, like that you will see this guy's name mentioned always when it comes to future self work, why? He said, that's a very important thing. And everybody quotes it. So I wrote it down so that I hopefully didn't get it wrong. But Derek Parfit, he said, we neglect our future self, because of some sort of failure of belief, or imagination. Lack of. Okay, so I'm going to repeat it, we neglect our future self because of some sort of failure, belief, or lack of imagination. You know, that beliefs are created inside of us, those core beliefs we have about ourselves are created by practicing certain thoughts. I have explained this in earlier seasons where I've said, our most practice thought becomes our belief. So I believe that I'm smart, because over and over and over, I think I'm smart. That was great, good job that was intelligent. You did research on that. And when I feed myself, with these type of thoughts, my belief becomes I'm smart. The opposite is also true. I think I'm fat because I think all of these thoughts about myself that are not caned about my body are not good about my eating, or binging or whatever. And then all of a sudden, my belief is unpacked. So what Derek parfait was saying is our inability to look at the future can often be because we have a lack of belief, lasses. This is why thought work, self coaching tools, working on your thoughts. And I teach this in my mastermind, I have an entire tool where I teach my clients how to self coach themselves, because I understand the significance of the thought work, because the thought work last ease is the belief work. And here it is, yet again, and future self work, showing its head. And if you don't have under control, then best part is not going to work. So if you are here listening to this episode, and you're like, What is she talking about? What's thought work? What's belief work, go back to previous episodes, and look into your thoughts, why you have to examine them and question them and how they impact your belief

 Because it is almost going to be impossible for you to think about this future version of yourself. Not only think about it, but connect to it, if you don't have belief, and the other thing he said was a lack of imagination. So that is a little harder to push into. And in my experience as a master life coach, I would say that belief is the biggest reason why we're not pushing into our future self worth.

The next individual who is a Harvard psychologist who has had a big impact in the future self science is Daniel Gilbert, I recommend you go if you're a TED Talk fan like I am, I love them. If you go on and watch his TED talk, he talks about the importance of it. But one of the things that he really pushes into is that we have this bias. And there is a lot of research around it, where they have done studies on individuals on the impact of this future self science. And basically what he says is, we think that the person that we are to D is the person we will always be Let me repeat that. We think that the person that we are today is the person we will always be. Right. So when I think about that, I think wow, that makes sense. Yes, 100%. I understand that. But he says when we ask people the opposite question

Let me ask you this question while you're cooking your Christmas dinner if you're listening in real time. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? And I know right now, lastly, you are shaking your head and you're,you're like ‘heck no, ABsolutely not, I am not even close to the same person I was 10 years ago.’ In fact, you might even feel that about five years ago or one year ago, especially if you're in growth work, especially if you're an empowered life, or you're a client of mines. And I know all of my clients listen to this podcast, because they send me text messages on Sundays about it, and it makes me so happy. But if you're working with a coach, or pushing into growth, or working with a therapist, or in a program or a group, then you're probably thinking, 'Coach, Mummabear, I'm not even the same as I was a year ago.' And thank God, right? So it is easy for us to see 100% 10 years ago, I was not the same person as I am to date. And yet to think of 10 years in the future, that is very difficult for us. Now, I've sort of explained where some of these concepts of future science have came from the future self science, it is science, there are psychologists, clinical psychologists doing a lot of research on it, there are different groups taking research. But why is this work so important? That's what you want to know. That's what I wanted to know. Because anytime I invest in any two lassies, I must, for my brain, make sure that the ROI and the work is worth it. There is so much noise out there. There are so many people, especially in design, but good grief, like the number of emails and workshops and all the things like it's so much. And on top of it, we have kids off school, we have one or two businesses on the side, if you're a coach, you have your coaching business and your podcast and your social media. And most of the time, you know, we're entrepreneurs, but we have small, tiny teams. And so there's a lot of noise. And so I want you to know that I have made sure that the return on investment on future self science work is worth it, I promise you. And I'm going to go into why I believe it is worth it, why you should do it. And then like I say, follow up with a meditation visualization really, of helping you see what your future self looks like, so that you can reap the benefits of this work. So before we move on to the reason, you're gonna get a massive return on investment for using this tool and doing this work. And if you can lassies with a coach, I want to talk about how I want you to think about it.

So I think often when you listen about future self work, there is a lot of emphasis on thinking about future self. I'm going to turn that on its head lassies and ask you, not just so much, think about your future self. But connect with your future self. Let me say that again. I'm going to ask you to not so much think about your future self. But connect with your future self. I believe that this is the big difference between the way I teach this concept, this tool than most people who are teaching this, I want you to connect to heart. I don't want you to just think about her. I want you to connect with her. So I've already mentioned Daniel Gilbert, the Harvard psychologist one quote that he says that I love so much is human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think the are thin. Dan Gilbert says human beings are working progresses that mistakenly think the our finish what? Like drop, right? Like, oh my gosh, we think we're finished. We can't see the future. We can't connect to that version of ourselves. We can imagine it our beliefs don't let us and so we stay in this arena of making decisions with our current brains. No, no Oh, we already agreed earlier while you're cooking your mashed potatoes, that you are not the same person you were a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago. And because of that, we know, we need to be tapping in and connecting to the future self bearish. And why? Because it's going to help us make better decisions. Number one reason, last Ease of Doing this moving out of subconscious autopilot of using neural plasticity of staying on the beam of following best future self science that clinical psychologists have done for us, as it's going to help us make better decisions. Right? We have to tap into that version of ourselves. I'm thinking right now about my adoption of my little girl, Charlie, Michael, and I adopted Charlie and brought her home three years ago, this will be our third Christmas with us, she is no five. And I'm thinking about how neither of us, in that moment, had the ability to see the parents that we would become to an adopted little girl who have to have, you know, her head opened up from ear to ear and have several neural surgeries. The other issues that come up with a child of adoption, when you already have biological children, neither of us were able to imagine that. But for thinking about our future self, I knew I didn't have what I needed in the moment, but I knew I worked. That's what helped me make the decision. A decision that no, I'm seeing the fruits of labor Three years later, because I have this incredible daughter who I absolutely have the inner resources to parent and love. Because I tapped into that future self version of myself three years ago, that allowed me to make that Bader decision. It allows us to make bolder decisions, beggar decisions. There is research to show that when we tap into that we do better with our saving, we look more to the future. We do better with what we eat, because we're looking to the future. Do you want to tie your laces when you're older? lassies Do you want to run around with the grandchildren? If we think about that, if we connect with that Lassie who's running around with the grandchildren, if we connect with the Lassie who's maybe doing a marathon at 50 years old, or climbing some mountain most likely for me at 50 years old, or the Lassie who's traveling with her children? If we connect to her, we make better decisions. No, we see, we eat better we move our body why lasses? This future self science work is the biggest investment and your future that you can do. It is one of the most underused tools with one of the biggest return on investments. As I said, at the start of this episode, what did I say? I say, I want to convince you by the end of this episode, that you need to be doing this work, that this needs to be a part of your practice a tool that you use, I am so serious Latsis if you have listened to lots of my episodes, and you are like which one is the most important, I would tell you this one right now. This one. All right. I love you. lassies. I hope that this has convinced you. Message me talk to me share this with your friends. Do it together. We're about to move into now a visualization exercise that I want to help you be able to see that version of yourself. Coaching and a Cup of Tea with Mummabear is supposed to feel like I'm giving you a week heck not ours with a big warm hug, do not undervalue future self science. It has been a game changer for me and a game changer for my clients every single time I retreat at the magical Lake coasts, we do future self work, you want to make better decisions, you want to save more, you want to move your body more, you want to eat better, you want to invest in your future, do this work. Okay? I love you lots, coaching a cup of tea with Mama Bear, you guys are amazeballs.

(MUSIC)
We're going to move now into a beautiful visualization exercise that you can do anytime you like. All right, last season, this is the part of the podcast that you are going to save for when you have the ability to be on your own, be comfortable, be relaxed and poor. And this is not to be listened to while you're mixing the butter and the mashed potatoes on Christmas day if you're listening in. Okay, this part of the podcast is just for you. It is not to be multitask. It is super important that you do this. When you're alone. Maybe everybody's in bed, and you put your earplugs in and you're ready to go. This part of the podcast losses is only for you. Okay, I want you to have a new pad and a pencil a side of wherever you lie down and relax because things aren't going to come up. And when they do, I want you to write it down. Okay.

We're going to begin by just placing your hands the sight of where you are feeling the baby that you're on the floor that you're setting on just really getting intentional with our grazing situation where we are, what smells are around us just really becoming focused on our awareness. And we're going to begin with a couple of simple brackets. We're going to breathe in through our nose and out through our mouth. When you're blow out of your mouth blow out like you're blowing through a small straw let's continue for three and deeping with each breath until you feel a sensation of relaxation over your body want you to remember a time when you were standing a side of a lake. Notice how calm and peaceful and quiet it is. You can hear birds chirping in the background. Chipmunks chasing each other small rustles in the leaves I want you to know imagine dropping a stone into the water. And as you do so, you notice the ripples rippling out one after another farther and farther away. The ripples are now starting to slow down I want you to imagine that your body is like that body of water you can feel the ripples up through your chest. They are debris by fire debris you should be feeling completely relaxed now. There is now time to go into our future self 10 years from today. I want you to think about what age you will be in 10 years. Knowing that this tool will help make better decisions. Help you eat better, move better, save better Now that we are going Tang years in the future for those answers What do you look like in 10 years? What is your posture? Like? Are your shoulders back? Or the hump? Is your hair shiny? Is it dull? Are you glowing? Or do you look tired and burned out? Where do you live? Is it small? Is it back? Is it remote? Does it in a city? I want you to imagine that you go to the door of the home you live in and 10 years and you knock the door and the door is opened by you in 10 years. Are you smiling? And happy? Is the energy joyful? Is it sad? Your future self welcomes you into the home who is in the home with you? Are there children or grandchildren? Are you alone? Is there a spouse or partner a friend? Is it busy or quiet? What kind of furniture Do you have? Are there paintings on the wall? Your future selves set you down and offers you a drink? What does she offer you tea coffee, iced tea lemonade. And you get a chance to ask her some questions. And you ask her what can you take back to today? What advice does she give you? What things does she tell you to delete from your life? What things does she tell you to highlight in your life? What things does she tell you your intentions need to go toward today? You ask her some questions. And she gives you the wisdom of her 10 years in the future it is time for you to leave and she hands you a gift you thank her for her wisdom for the advice she gave for the refocusing of your intention. The knowledge she gave you to make better decisions today. What gift did she give you? What advice did she give you slowly start to come back around moving your fingers and your toes feeling the surface below you and get your paper and pain and write down everything she told you. This last piece is investing in future sale science. This lassies is investing in you hope that this was helpful. Merry Christmas.