Besides leaving us in stitches throughout the entire interview, Heather Shelton breaks down Authenticity—and, boy, does she walk her talk! In addition to being an on-camera talent, Heather also serves as a media coach with over 15+ years of experience in television and media as a corporate spokesperson, news anchor, MC, podcast host, and much more! Tune in as she walks us through her journey and offers practical advice on how folks can actually bring their most authentic selves to work.
More about Heather:
When Heather was a kid, people often asked her “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Without hesitation, it was always BE ON TV! Whether online, in person or on tv, she loves to connect with people. Her love for people has made her 15+ years in the media industry full of rich, life-changing experiences. In addition to a plethora of other titles, Heather currently serves as a media coach and specializes in building brand-personality through media for digital entrepreneurs, executives, and just about any career professional. To learn more about Heather, visit meetheather.com.
Besides leaving us in stitches throughout the entire interview, Heather Shelton breaks down Authenticity—and, boy, does she walk her talk! In addition to being an on-camera talent, Heather also serves as a media coach with over 15+ years of experience in television and media as a corporate spokesperson, news anchor, MC, podcast host, and much more! Tune in as she walks us through her journey and offers practical advice on how folks can actually bring their most authentic selves to work.
More about Heather:
When Heather was a kid, people often asked her “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Without hesitation, it was always BE ON TV! Whether online, in person or on tv, she loves to connect with people. Her love for people has made her 15+ years in the media industry full of rich, life-changing experiences. In addition to a plethora of other titles, Heather currently serves as a media coach and specializes in building brand-personality through media for digital entrepreneurs, executives, and just about any career professional. To learn more about Heather, visit meetheather.com.
Mike Cole 0:06
Hello everyone! Welcome to Season One of Peoplecast! Peoplecast is a production of Media Partners Corporation; providing best-in-class training content, technology, tools, and services. Media Partners will help your organization elevate workplace behaviors and culture. I'm your host Mike Cole and with me today as our co-host and producer extraordinaire: Jerrin Padre. Say hello, Jerrin.
Jerrin Padre 0:25
Hello!
Mike Cole 0:26
Today's episode is dealing with authenticity. And I think authenticity is something that—I don't know. Maybe it's misunderstood, or we don't talk enough about it, or it's just something that we struggle with. And I think our guest today is going to help us out with that. But, I did just a little bit of research before we came online here, and I've got the definition of authenticity. So the official definition of authenticity is being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. That's pretty simple definition. But then we've got this definition for conformity, right? So conformity, the official definition, is a type of social influence involving a change in belief or behavior in order to fit in with a group. So is conformity a bad thing? As humans, don't we crave to be accepted or to fit in? Do we really sacrifice authenticity when we conform?
Jerrin Padre 1:18
I have thoughts. I feel like authenticity is very woven into the fabric of my generation, and conformity is not. Technically I'm on the cusp of millennials and Gen Z. I feel like it's hard to navigate being your "authentic self" at work, or just in life, because they're two different personalities.
Mike Cole 1:40
Yeah, yeah, no. I would—I would agree. I'm kind of, I'm a hybrid, I guess. I'm a Gen X-er, and I think for a period of time, there were—there were conformity demands. I mean, in the corporate world, if you worked in the 80s, conformity was a big thing, because you wanted to take that next step. You want it to be in the know, and in the clique, and in the group. But, in the same respect, I mean, you had a lot of rebels in the 80's who were anti conformists; who were definitely all about authenticity. And if you—if you don't like me, that's fine. I am who I am. And so I kind of grew up on both sides of the fences.
Jerrin Padre 2:18
Well, here's a brain bender for you: I feel like authenticity already kind of has a brand attached to it, right? It's someone who's—someone who's extroverted and just kind of a free spirit. And then on the other side, you have conformist and then that has a specific connotation attached to it as well. And so really, I feel like it's hard to say, "Oh, I'm being my authentic self." Because there's an expectation of what being your authentic self means now, and it ends up kind of being a form of conformity.
Mike Cole 2:48
Yeah! It's become a trope. I mean, when you hear that term "be your authentic self." It's like, "live your best life." But what does that even—what does it even mean? I don't know.
Jerrin Padre 2:57
Like "be your authentic self." "You do you."
Mike Cole 3:00
It's interesting, which is why I think our guest today is going to be able to help us clear a lot of that up or help us maybe just steer us in a different direction maybe than what we're thinking?
Jerrin Padre 3:08
Thank goodness!
Mike Cole 3:10
Yes, thank goodness! Our guest today is Heather Shelton. Heather is a media and branding coach at Meet Heather Media. This is where she specializes in helping career professionals build their brand personality. She also hosts the Create channel for Downtown Media. That's in the fast growing area of Northwest Arkansas. And she also hosts her own podcast with her husband Mike; the podcast is titled Marriage Out Loud. Welcome, Heather!
Heather Shelton 3:36
Hello! What an intro guys! I was just like, oh, listening to you. I love your podcast voice too, Mike!
Jerrin Padre 3:44
I know, isn't it good?
Heather Shelton 3:45
Yeah! He's got a future, this guy. for sure.
Jerrin Padre 3:47
He's had a pass in it: he was a radio voice.
Heather Shelton 3:50
Wait a minute! I didn't do my research. Jerrin. I did not know that he was a radio disc jockey! Hello!
Jerrin Padre 3:58
Mhmm!
Mike Cole 3:58
Well, you know, I've also done a lot of computer based learning modules for this really big retailer. So...
Heather & Jerrin 4:07
*laughing*
Mike Cole 4:08
I have put in many, many retail associates to sleep with my voice. Yes I have.
Heather Shelton 4:15
You sound great.
Mike Cole 4:16
Thank you! I appreciate that. Glad to have you on the show. We've actually—we've been looking forward to this interview because we know it's going to be fun and exciting, because that's just who you are. I've known you for a bit of time and we've worked together some, and I know enough to know that this can be a good interview. I do want to do one thing though. I want our listeners to get to know you a little bit more, a little deeper, mkay?
Heather Shelton 4:36
Sweet. all right! I'm ready.
Mike Cole 4:37
So I'm going to ask you about 14 questions, okay?
Heather Shelton 4:41
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Mike Cole 4:42
14 questions.
Heather Shelton 4:44
Alright, alright.
Mike Cole 4:45
These are simple questions that typically will only require a short answer or a one word answer. Your goal on most of these is the one word answer, and you'll see what I mean. Are you ready?
Heather Shelton 4:56
I am ready Mike!
Mike Cole 4:57
Okay. Here's the first question: Star Wars or Star Trek?
Heather Shelton 5:01
Star Trek! Come on!
Jerrin Padre 5:02
Literally three for three! That's three for three, Mike.
Mike Cole 5:06
I know we're keeping tally on this, Heather, and every guest we have we're keeping tally. I'm in the Star Wars camp. And Jerrin, you're in Star Wars camp too, right?
Jerrin Padre 5:15
I, too, am in the Star Wars camp.
Mike Cole 5:17
Okay, so that's fine.
Heather Shelton 5:19
Doesn't sever the relationship? Okay. All right.
Mike Cole 5:21
No, it doesn't.
Heather Shelton 5:22
Good to know, good to know.
Mike Cole 5:24
We'll see how the rest of these answers go. And that'll be determined.
Heather & Jerrin 5:27
*laughing*
Jerrin Padre 5:27
So the podcast might be over.
Mike Cole 5:29
Yes. If we disconnect, then you know, you're answered incorrectly.
Heather Shelton 5:32
Okay!
Mike Cole 5:33
All right. So next question: texting or talking?
Heather Shelton 5:35
Talking!
Mike Cole 5:37
Hmm! Favorite day of the week?
Heather Shelton 5:40
I just like saying "Mon-yay!"
Mike Cole 5:41
*chuckles* "Mon-yay?"
Heather Shelton 5:43
It's not Monday, it's "Mon-yay!" It's like Mon-yay. "Let's go! It's the first day of the week. Let's go get it guys! Mon-yay! Come on!"
Mike Cole 5:52
But can't you do that with every day of the week?
Heather Shelton 5:54
And I do. "Tues-yay," "Wednes-yay"
Jerrin Padre 5:57
Wednes-yay is a vibe!
Heather Shelton 5:59
Wednes-yay. That's, like, I was gonna say that. But yeah, that's it. I literally have a list of to do's and it's always: Wednes-yay, Thurs-yay, Satur-yay. Yeah, all that.
Mike Cole 6:13
So your favorite day of the week are all of the ones ending in "yay?"
Heather Shelton 6:16
Yes. All of them!
Mike Cole 6:17
Okay! Alright. Good. Good. Glad we found that out. Last song you sang in the car at a stoplight?
Heather Shelton 6:23
"I'm a sucker for you!" *hums melody to Jonas Brothers' "Sucker"*
Jerrin Padre 6:26
Yes! Yes! Hit me with the Jonas Brothers!
Heather Shelton 6:32
Jo-Bros man, Jo-Bros!
Mike Cole 6:33
Okay, so now next question. How long does it take you to get ready?
Heather Shelton 6:38
Ah, am I putting my face on and eyebrows on or off?
Mike Cole 6:42
You're going on a date with Coach Mike.
Heather Shelton 6:44
Oh, Coach Mike uhhhh... Probably twenty-five minutes because the eyebrows situation. I have none. So I draw them on. So that is because sometimes you go out; one's up, one's down, and then you don't know till you're in the car because of the lighting. So yeah, about twenty-five minutes strong. Twenty of them on the eyebrows.
Mike Cole 7:03
Okay, moving right along. Next question. Heather. Have you ever worn socks with sandals?
Heather Shelton 7:09
Not on purpose! Not in the streets. No, no, I'm not gonna go outside like that. But at the house when your feet cold? Yeah, sure! Nobody's gonna see me. Sure! Not a problem. But out there in the streets? No, no, no, no, no, not a fan. I don't care what the kids do with the little slides? With the Birkenstocks. Not today. Not today. No, sir.
Mike Cole 7:31
What about you Jerrin? Ever done socks with sandals?
Jerrin Padre 7:33
Yes, I went to school in the Northwest. So I feel like socks with sandals was part of the Pacific Northwest uniform.
Heather Shelton 7:41
Wow.
Jerrin Padre 7:42
So it was socks with Tevas. Wool socks, usually like Costco/Kirkland brand wool socks, with your Tevas. Or your Chacos, or your Birkenstocks. And it was a look! Now people are doing it with their slides. Which you know what? You do you. Whatever sock sandal combo suits your fancy.
Heather Shelton 8:02
We're still friends, Jerrin.
Jerrin Padre 8:04
I hope so!
Heather Shelton 8:05
But that almost got me exiting off this podcast.
Mike Cole 8:07
Well, please don't hang up, Heather. That's fine. Don't hang up when I make this comment either. But see, I'm from the school of, let's see, tight-rolled Levi's with white socks and black penny loafers.
Heather Shelton 8:19
Ahhhhh!
Mike Cole 8:20
So there you go.
Jerrin Padre 8:20
That's actually a look though now, Mike!
Heather Shelton 8:22
It is now! Yeah, like it's recycled back, so...
Mike Cole 8:25
We were cool before cool was cool!
Heather Shelton 8:27
Come on.
Mike Cole 8:28
Alright, next question. Ask permission, or beg forgiveness?
Heather Shelton 8:32
I'm right in the middle. I am a rule foll ower. But it's like how—you know. But is it really a rule though? Like, is it really a rule is my thing. It's like, "ehhhh." You know, so I'm kinda in the middle.
Mike Cole 8:42
Does it really depend on the situation?
Heather Shelton 8:45
Yes, absolutely. 1,000%.
Mike Cole 8:48
So like, if it's work? For me, if it's work, I'm an "ask forgiveness" kind of guy. I'm gonna go ahead and do it. Because, you know, it's better to make a bad decision than just no decision at all. That's how I was trained.
Jerrin Padre 8:58
Yeah, I agree with that.
Mike Cole 8:59
Yeah, yeah. But you know, it changes a bit when it's a personal thing. So I agree. Hey, Heather, would you eat a day-old taquito from a 7-Eleven?
Heather Shelton 9:07
Mike, that's gross! The moment you said it to me my insides just kind of churned. So that would be a hard, no. Hard.
Jerrin Padre 9:16
But have you ever had taquito from 7-Eleven? They're surprisingly very good.
Heather Shelton 9:21
No, Jerrin! No! That's not real meat!
Jerrin Padre 9:24
I know, I know.
Heather Shelton 9:25
I've seen what the hot dogs and stuff looked like at the 7-Eleven!
Mike Cole 9:29
My question is how do you know if it's a day old or not? It's probably more than a day old, most likely.
Jerrin Padre 9:34
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
Mike Cole 9:35
Now I'll do a day old donut from Krispy Kreme any day. But when it's meat or something like that? No, I'm not quite there. But yeah, if I'm desperate enough, I probably would. So anyway.
Heather Shelton 9:46
We're a little older than Jerrin. I think, though, too. I think it's if you have asked me 20 years ago, I might've been like, "Yeah, girl! Gimme that taquito!"
Mike Cole 9:53
It depends on how much money is in my pocket, you know?
Heather Shelton 9:56
Right, right. Right, right, right.
Jerrin Padre 9:58
I just feel like if you're gonna walk into a 7-Eleven, you're hungry, and you're planning on getting a snack, you kind of know what you're getting yourself into. So mystery meat or not...
Heather Shelton 10:07
*laughing*
Jerrin Padre 10:07
I stand by the 7-Eleven taquito.
Mike Cole 10:10
Hey, as long as I got a Big Gulp to wash it down, I'm good.
Jerrin Padre 10:13
Yeah, there you go.
Heather Shelton 10:15
Ahh, mystery meat.
Mike Cole 10:15
The Big Gulp offsets everything. Okay, Heather. If you could push a button and make everyone in the world 7% happier, but it would also place a worldwide ban on all hairstyling products, would you push that button?
Heather Shelton 10:30
Absolutely. Happiness is the key to life. Absolutely. 1,000%. If it made him 2% happier I'd do it. And I have curly hair. I need a product!
Mike Cole 10:40
Right there with you! Right there with you.
Jerrin Padre 10:42
Mike does not have curly hair. But he is right there with her.
Mike Cole 10:45
I do! I do have curly hair! Look at that!
Jerrin Padre 10:47
You do?
Mike Cole 10:48
Yeah, it's it's curly/wavy. Yeah, my hair is naturally curly. If you saw a picture of me back in high school, I had a curly-hair mullet. It was Napoleon Dynamite if he had a mullet. So there you go.
Heather Shelton 10:58
Wow!
Mike Cole 10:59
So okay, next question. We're running long on these questions! Last question. Let's see if this one gets cut from the episode or not. You're on a boat: Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump fall overboard, and you can you can only save one. Who would it be?
Heather Shelton 11:15
Kimmy-cakes!
Jerrin Padre 11:16
Kimmy-cakes all the way!
Heather Shelton 11:19
Look, I got to get her back to Chris and Chloe and Courtney and Rob. I got to get her back to her kids. I got to get her back to the little North West, little baby. Chicago's still young! Family's the most important thing to the Kardashians, and I want to make sure that their show keeps going for the world.
Mike Cole 11:34
Mkay.
Jerrin Padre 11:34
*laughs*
Heather Shelton 11:34
So yeah, yes, I'm returning her.
Mike Cole 11:38
Okay, alright.
Heather Shelton 11:39
Now I'd throw something to Donald! I ain't trying to see nobody like not survive or something. So I'd be like, "Yo, is there something else we could do to get the dude?" Like I'll go get something. But I'm just not—but like, my first instinct is Kim because she got this whole big family that I've seen on TV and I know they want her back because Chris ain't gonna play. Like that's how I got started.
Mike Cole 11:58
Okay, so that's—I like that answer because you personally would take care of Kim. But you'd also be like, "Okay, somebody get the man."
Heather Shelton 12:05
Yeah! Like, "Somebody get Donald! Somebody go get him! I got my hands full here, but can we help him?"
Mike Cole 12:12
I like that. That is the best answer to that question, I think, I've ever heard.
Heather Shelton 12:16
You're welcome.
Mike Cole 12:17
Well, there you go. That's a rapid fire. So hopefully some folks learned a little bit about you, and us, and a lot of stuff. So let's talk about why we're—not why we're really here. I mean, that to me, that was authentic Heather right there. That was you. That's how you think, that's what you believe. But I want to talk a little bit more about, kind of, what your mission is right now. You're doing a lot of things. You've got your own business, Meet Heather Media. You teach people how to build their professional brand. Correct?
Heather Shelton 12:47
Mhmm!
Mike Cole 12:47
But what does that involve?
Heather Shelton 12:48
You know, people have trouble telling their story. They just don't really believe in themselves or believe that they have an interesting story to tell. And I've always been curious about people my whole life. So it's like, I was made to be a coach. I love cheering people on. I love hearing their stories. There's no detail about someone's life that I'm not interested in. So you kind of marry those two things together, and then this is how I became a media coach. I really enjoy just hearing stories, helping my clients craft what they want to say and how they want to say it. And I've seen improvements, like, they send me things like, "They love my breakout session the most!" Or, "I have more confidence when I'm speaking here," or this or that. And it's just been a joy to really see their personality come alive. Because my main thing in life is just I want everyone to feel like they are seen. I don't care who it is. If it's like, even if the waiter comes up and they're just rude or whatever, I still try to find something about them that makes them shine. And then I really like to amplify that. So I feel like I help people amplify the good things in their story. And I just enjoy doing it.
Jerrin Padre 14:03
You kind of sound like an actor. I feel like, typically, actors when they're playing villains; the rule is you're never supposed to villainize the villain because they always have something that they believe in, their own motivations, their own truths that they believe are very real. So that's a fun exercise that you play in real life, not as an actor.
Heather Shelton 14:25
Oh, thank you. I mean I don't mind acting. I mean throw me a script, girl!
Mike Cole 14:29
So let's go back just a little bit and let's find out what made Heather what you are today. So tell us a little bit about your childhood. Where did you grow up? And are there any, like, childhood memories that kind of sparked this interest in, you know, helping people be authentic and be able to tell their story?
Heather Shelton 14:47
I grew up in Hampton, Virginia, which is not that far from Virginia Beach. Two up, two down. East Coast girl through and through. And I have just always loved to people watch. And I think because I've just always been so curious about people, it always led me to ask questions. I was always interested in "Were people thinking about certain things?" Why was this? Why was that? And I think it was, like, around—I don't know. I think it might have been ninth grade. I told a joke—because I was really introverted, believe it or not when I was little.
But about ninth grade, I think I told a joke. And everybody laughed, and I was like, "Wait a minute, is this a thing?" Like people like jokes, and then they laugh? And so I looked for the funny in everything. In every situation, I just looked for the funny. I love improvisation. I was actually a part of the improvisation group, and took some classes around that. So throughout my life, it's just been a real genuine love for people. I didn't grow up saying I want to be a dentist, or I want to be a doctor, I want to do this or that.
I always said I want to be on TV. I want to be on TV. I want to talk to people. I used to practice kind of interviewing people and like hearing their stories, I would write articles about TLC, because you know, that was my group! Back in the day. *sings TLC's "Waterfalls"* I know Jerrin is right there with me. And so being curious about people loving to talk, then I find out this little "funny component," I guess, if you will. It kind of just led me on a career journey. When I went to college, I went to Old Dominion University for about two years. Then I transferred to University of North Carolina at Charlotte. And there I was just like communications all day, but no real goals, guys. It was more like, let's just get to the green for my mom. Right? And then I'm gonna move to Cali. And then I'm just gonna VJ (Video Jockey), right? I mean, I'm gonna be a VJ. So it's like, MTV was always the dream. And it didn't quite happen that way. But I think I ended up where I want to be.
I ended up working for this network. I was kind of an admin for a while. They said, "Hey, you're kind of funny! You want to do a screen test?" As soon as the red light came on, guys, I lit up. There was no nervousness! It was like, "And there's the camera where it should be looking at me!" Like that's how I felt like it was just, like, when you know who you are—you know what you're made to do—it just oozes out of you. So I ended up actually being kind of a VJ for a network for a while. I did talk shows and co hosting for a network once. And then I actually was on the local news in Charlotte for a couple years. And a personality like mine doing the traffic! Can you imagine guys? I literally said one time on air, "Don't go down 485. It's a hot mess. Back to you, Larry!"
Jerrin Padre 17:49
*laughs*
Heather Shelton 17:50
And I mean, the whole newscast, they just kind of rolled with it. I remember my news director—I had no experience in news. So all the anchors—Charlotte was a pretty big market. And I remember them going, "What market did you come from? What market did you come from?" And I kept asking them, "What do you mean? What do you mean a 'market'?" And then I asked my news director at the time, Corey, and he goes, "You just need to be on TV!" Like he hired me because he was just like, "I just have a gut feeling. I just love the energy that you bring." And so doing news, learning news, learning the graphics, and all the behind-the-scenes on news was interesting. But that was probably some of my fondest memories for being a personality ever.
Because talk about being your authentic self! I brought to the table who I am. And that did not come across well in the beginning, because you know how newscasters are normally right? It's like, "Hello, and welcome to 5pm!" You know really straight to the cam. And the thing about news is that the mail—the emails go to the whole newsroom. They don't just come to you. So if you get a viewer to don't like you, the WHOLE news room reads that email. I'll never forget getting emails flooding in Who is this girl? She's an idiot. They didn't like how I looked. They didn't like my hair. They didn't like anything about me. And so what it taught me was to stay authentic because—I remember this one guy called me an idiot. Then a year after, almost to the day—his name was Andrew—he sends an email and he says, "I want to apologize to Heather because when she first got here I said some really mean things to her. But what I've realized is that she's the best part of my day!"
Jerrin Padre 19:33
Okay!
Heather Shelton 19:33
I mean, he just went on to say, like, he was wrong. And so he made me feel the lowest I could possibly feel—I think I cried when I got that one. And then for a year later to, like, send a completely different email to the newsroom. I kind of felt good about that.
Mike Cole 19:48
So in that year; the year that, you know, that passed when that comment came through versus when the email came through saying, "Hey, you know, I screwed up. I was wrong," was there ever a time that drug you down and you had to pick yourself up? And if that was the case, how did you do that? So, I'm trying to talk to those listeners who may have experienced something like that; maybe they're that type of person who wants to be the fixer. They want to, you know, to please everyone. They want to make sure that everyone is accepting of them. And when you get something like that, that tears you down. How do you build yourself back up, all while still being yourself and being authentic?
Heather Shelton 20:27
Well for one, Mike, you really have no control over anyone but yourself. Like truly. So if you take away the power that other people have over you, and just realize that the only person you can change is you. Back then I really didn't know that. So of course, I tried to jump through all the hoops, and make myself a little bit more, you know, to the book. I tried on different personalities throughout the learnings at the news, right? Because it's like, well, I'm getting all this hate mail. They don't like me, like, what am I doing here? Why should I even be doing this? This is a bad decision. But pushing through and realizing, like, "No, I have something to offer." And my news director was such an encouraging, like, voice in my life. And just I looked at every day not as a loss, but as a learning opportunity. It's always a new show. Like in news you never really think about the old show, because it's just such a quick turn; every day is another opportunity. So if you kind of look at projects, or you know work as like, "Alright, I might have bombed on that one, but I have another opportunity to do something different or to show something different." I think you can handle it, but you cannot let one person or one project, define who you are. And you have to know who you are inside first. Knowing that my personality, and who I am, is unique to the world. Like there's no other me, just just like there's no other Jerrin and there's no other Mike. Like, we all bring something special to the table. So we need to always focus on that, more so then conforming to what people want us to do and be
Jerrin Padre 22:09
Well, it sounds like you had a really great, positive working environment, especially when you're talking about your boss. I think that's always so important, especially if you're working in media. Because you hear all the horror stories, right? So what would your advice be to the people who find themselves, you know, in a similar place? They have these big ambitions and big dreams, but perhaps their work environment is just maybe a little bit more toxic, or just blatantly toxic. But they feel like this is their only path to achieving whatever they want to achieve. What would you tell them in terms of authenticity if they feel beholden to the fear of retaliation?
Heather Shelton 22:49
Well, I think that thing is again—just going back to you only have control of you and how you respond in a situation. And I'm not the type of person to say, "Stay there and grind it out and endure, like, someone berating you," right? I'm just not. Like life is too short, we get one life. This is not a practice life, as one of my old friends used to say. This is not a practice life. So if you know that you are called to do something like, "This is what I want to do," but the cost is losing a part of who you are; there's got to be other options out there, bro. There just has to be. I'm never going to let a job make me come home and feel a certain way. Like, we all have to endure and do things we do not like at work.
You don't get a perfect job. No one does. Even my role right now; even though I'm the CEO of myself. It's not perfect. But, I wake up every day excited about doing my job. My best friend, who used to be my boss, she she always used this analogy about a butter knife. You can use a butter knife as a screwdriver all the time, but it's best used when it's cutting butter. Right? We've all tried to use a butter knife. We all know how it slips through. But boy, when you use a butter knife on butter, man, you can't get no better than that. And so, I want to live my life cutting versus being used as a screwdriver. And so, if I'm in a situation where I'm really losing a piece of me for the sake of my career, I'm going to reevaluate my career. I'm going to really make some decisions and do some pros and cons of like, "Alright, do I really want what I'm trying to achieve right now, at the expense of my mental health? At the expense of my family? At the expense of how I feel every day?" I just don't think it's worth it. We got one life. I know, I know. Look at Jerrin she's like, "I know."
Jerrin Padre 24:45
Yeah, feel like I needed that. I feel like you just dropped wisdom, and now I'm just gonna be blank stares for the rest of this interview. I have to like go journal or something.
Mike Cole 24:54
That was a truth bomb right there. That's what that was.
So Heather, let me ask you this. The climate that we're in now, you know, in the companies that we have and all the things that are going on, do you think it's easier for somebody to be authentic now versus maybe 10 years ago?
Heather Shelton 25:08
Oh, absolutely. I think companies want you to show up, more so than they did 10 years ago, as yourself. I think inclusivity is better now. Not perfect, but better. I think that you cannot afford not to be you. The world needs you. You are a solution in some way. So if you look at your life as "I'm a solution," you must show up as who you are. Now, do I mean coming in hot—all, you know. I'm saying you can't bring everything! You have to remember, like, you do work for a corporation, One of my clients, she was talking about how she couldn't lead a meeting. And so she let one of her team members lead it, and the team member was creative. And so in her deck, she was giving all the nitty gritty of the creative part, like just the production side of it. The things that you love about the edit, when the big boss just needed, like, "What's the ROI on that girl?"
Jerrin Padre 26:07
Right.
Heather Shelton 26:08
And so she was like saying, "Oh, man, I wish she had done x, y, and z." And I said, "All she needs is a mentor." She doesn't need anybody to come in and say, "You did this right or wrong." She just needs to know, "Oh, when I'm in meetings with these type of people, their time is limited. So I need to create a deck that gives this, this, this, this, this type of information." You can still insert who you are and why you love the piece, but you don't want to give all the background to how the video was created. Or your favorite part. "Look how the music swells here! Do you see it go with the beat?" You know, like all the things that we appreciate as creatives? And so I think it would be great, especially if you're in a leadership position, to think about being more of a mentor. Because a lot of times people just don't know. They're just, like, their right brain/left brain; they just have more of a bend towards this. But as a mentor in a mentoring relationship, it's a give and take. There's so much reciprocity going on there, that I think it would make the company better and make you a better leader.
Jerrin Padre 27:11
So I think just to break that down a little bit more practically, I guess we'll start with creatives. Because you just gave some really good advice for leaders. So maybe let's start with: what are a few tangible things that people can take away from this?
Heather Shelton 27:25
I think—well, I think as soon as you get to a company, you should find a mentor. I worked at a really big company. And I remember finding my mentor who—she wasn't super high on the leadership chain, you know, to me. I didn't go after like the VP of business and this and this. But she worked in a space that I wanted to work in. And so I was like, "Hey, how did you get here?" And so talking to her on a monthly basis was invaluable! Like she would see me, like, "I just don't think—why did they do this? Or why did they do that?" Because I'm so tied to the edit, right? Or I'm so tied to the piece that I created. And she's like, "But did you look at it from this perspective?"
And so I think as a creative, you have to be open to feedback, and know that it's not personal. I think a lot of times as creatives, we're like, "We put our heart and soul—we are artists, do you not see this spot? You know, like, this is so beautiful!" I don't care what you're talking about. I don't care if you're trying to sell band-aids, like, seriously. It's art in every single way. And so when you show your art to someone, it's vulnerable. It's super vulnerable. But being vulnerable just means having courage in the face of fear, right? So it's being open to a collaboration versus it just being your vision. So I always think it's a good idea to get outside perspective; especially someone who has no tie to the project. I think also, especially in presenting, we oftentimes like to present, like, someone else that looks like a rock star on our team. We're like, "Okay, I just need to do PowerPoint like her. I need say my words like her." When, again, you are the only you in this world! You have a fingerprint that is only yours. You know what I mean?
So I need Jerrin to show up as Jerrin. I need you to put your—if you have a quirky sense of humor, be quirky! If you don't, then don't. If you're dry, but you want to, like, say something funny in your own way. Do it. Like, again, that involves being vulnerable. And I think a lot of times people don't want to be, but anytime we see anybody being vulnerable, we're always like, "Man, they're courageous!" Not like, "Oh, they dumb." We're usually like—we're usually like taken aback like, "Wow, they really put themselves out there!" And then they inspire us to do the same thing. So it's kind of like, "Boo, do you!" Do you, but do you in a way that you're always looking to be a learner. And if you get feedback that you're kind of like, "Ah, that stings a little bit." Take it. Take the meat, spit out the bones. Apply the things you need to the next thing, and just remember: it's just one project. It's just one person. You'll have multiple opportunities to get better at something. But you can't do it if you show up as anyone else, because it's not even you.
Jerrin Padre 30:15
And what about the more introverted or analytical types? What would you—what advice would you give them?
Heather Shelton 30:22
I would say, if you're not a good public speaker, because you like kind of soft spoken, or maybe you keep to yourself, and you just don't want to present; I would do something that would push myself to get better. So like, I wasn't very good at reading prompter for a really long time. And I used to watch people and I used to say, "I'm never gonna do that. I'm never gonna do that."
Jerrin Padre 30:43
It's so hard!
Heather Shelton 30:45
It is one of the hardest things you could possibly ever do! You just see the words rolling. You're like, "What is happening?"
Mike Cole 30:52
Well, especially when somebody else is controlling it for you.
Heather Shelton 30:55
Oh, yeah!
Jerrin Padre 30:56
Or speaking in your ear while you're talking.
Heather Shelton 30:58
Yeah!
Mike Cole 30:58
I used to want the little slider that I could control my own prompter, but I didn't get that a lot so...
Heather Shelton 31:04
When I first started doing prompter, and I saw people that could do what I used to call "One-take Jake." Because I mean, they would, like, look at the camera, read the prompter, turn their head to the side, and you were, like, one small tear come down your face, you're like, "That was beautiful!" And so what I challenged myself to do was reading out loud. I would read everything out loud! I would take a magazine, if I got an email. Back in the day with newspapers, remember those? I would get used to hearing my voice out loud. And now you can put a prompt in front of me and I'm gonna kill it. I'm like 10 steps ahead of a prompter every single time, because I put in the work to practice.
I think if you're not good at something, and then you say, "Oh, well, I'm just not good at that," you're just settling. Your brain stops looking for solutions every time you say you can't do something. Instead, say, "You know what? The prompter is a little bit of a challenge, I need to push myself in different areas. So, I'm going to start reading things aloud, so that get used to the sound of my voice. I get used to loving myself and hearing my voice." Because a lot of times—if you're introverted, if you're not really around people, if you get your energy from being alone, that's fine. Like, that's what introvert is. But at the same time, if you work at a company, you're gonna have to change, just like an extrovert has to temper their outgoing personality, or always wanting to be with a group too. We all have to pivot, and we all have to be open to change. So it's "do the thing to make yourself better." And you can do that alone. I read alone. So practice alone, look in the mirror, and you'll see how far you'll get with that.
Mike Cole 32:37
So, Heather, you mentioned reading.
Heather Shelton 32:39
Mhmm, I can read.
Mike Cole 32:40
Okay, that's a good thing.
Heather Shelton 32:41
Thank you.
Mike Cole 32:42
That's good!
Heather & Jerrin 32:42
*laughing*
Mike Cole 32:43
So what about book recommendations? I mean, your thing is about building personal brand, and being authentic. Are there any books that you would recommend to any of our listeners, that if they're looking to—maybe they have a boss that's having trouble accepting them as their authentic self, and, in the vein of inclusivity and belonging: what are some book recommendations you might have?
Heather Shelton 33:06
Dude! So I would say Brené Brown is a great place to start. I also—I'm a Gary Vee fan! He hypes me up! So I have read some Gary Vee books. I've read some Tony Robbins books. I mean, in—what the common theme is, in all the books that I've read, is: believe in yourself. Believe in you first. The world is going to treat you the way you treat yourself. So it's like, you got to know who you are. You got to be okay with you. You got to love you first. And then you can go out in the world.
Now success leaves clues. So you should be looking at where you want to go and who you want to be. If you see someone and they're doing it well in the space that you're in—yeah, you should sit under them. You should notice what they do. You should take notes. You should kind of follow a pattern. But again, you're not going to do it exactly like they do it. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, Brené Brown. I'm not a researcher. But one day I want to write a book. Like, it won't be the same way and they won't have the same words, but it probably'll have a lot of the same content because I believe in what she says. And I mean, Mike. Real talk: TED talk. I mean, I'm—that will get you schooled. If you ain't got no time to read and it's not your thing, you better bust up a TED talk. And you're gonna find something right there.
Mike Cole 34:28
I agree with you. I'm a TED talk-watcher.
Jerrin Padre 34:30
Me too!
Mike Cole 34:31
Most definitely. Yeah, I think we're right there with you on that one.
Well, Heather, I tell you what. This has been a joy. This has been—well it has been one of my favorite episodes to record. And I want to thank you for all the work that you do, and specifically for your authenticity. People are around you. It's just—they pick it up. And, to me, being authentic is outwardly showing it so people can see it. And so you do that 100%. Jerrin, any last words?
Yeah. If there are any other resources or any projects that you're involved in that you want to plug, please tell us.
Heather Shelton 35:09
Listen, if anybody want to come holla at me, all you got to do is go to my website. Meetheather.com. And you'll find all the information about my coaching. And of course, I really need you guys to really go meet Mike Shelton. Okay? Because Mike Cole right here, he loves us. He listened to that podcast. But our podcast is called Marriage Out Loud. And you can go to marriageoutloud.com, and we've got about 55 episodes. Don't hold me to what we did a couple years ago. Because, I mean, that was a knockdown-drag out. I mean, when we say Marriage Out Loud—I mean, we really had our marriage out there for everybody. All the people. Y'all knew all the business, s o. But we enjoyed doing it, and we enjoy learning and sharing our learnings with others.
Jerrin Padre 35:53
I'm so excited.
Mike Cole 35:55
Well, Heather, thank you again for being on the show.
Heather Shelton 35:58
Oh, thank you guys. It's been a blast!
Mike Cole 36:00
And thanks everyone else for listening, and we will see you next time on Peoplecast.
Jerrin Padre 36:05
Bye!