Introducing Craig Parks – Director of Youth Programming at Temple Solel in San Diego, CA. Multi-talented and filled with nuggets of wisdom, Craig touches on several topics including:
MORE ABOUT CRAIG
Camp Director, Musician, Parent Educator, Special Needs advocate, and Dad to two kids, Craig Parks wears many hats for the same goal: to bring more peace and joy to our world. He created Parks & Pals, a music channel on YouTube with his son, and a show with his young daughter called Parks Party Central where you can find two of the 62 episodes on Youtube! You can learn more about his work by writing to him at craigparks@parentingharmony.com.
CONNECT WITH CRAIG
Instagram | www.parentingharmony.com
CRAIG’S BOOK/SPEAKER RECOMMENDATIONS:
CONNECT WITH US
Website | LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Introducing Craig Parks – Director of Youth Programming at Temple Solel in San Diego, CA. Multi-talented and filled with nuggets of wisdom, Craig touches on several topics including:
MORE ABOUT CRAIG
Camp Director, Musician, Parent Educator, Special Needs advocate, and Dad to two kids, Craig Parks wears many hats for the same goal: to bring more peace and joy to our world. He created Parks & Pals, a music channel on YouTube with his son, and a show with his young daughter called Parks Party Central where you can find two of the 62 episodes on Youtube! You can learn more about his work by writing to him at craigparks@parentingharmony.com.
CONNECT WITH CRAIG
Instagram | www.parentingharmony.com
CRAIG’S BOOK/SPEAKER RECOMMENDATIONS:
CONNECT WITH US
Website | LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Mike Cole 0:06
Hello everyone and welcome back to Peoplecast. I'm your host Mike Cole and with me today is our co-host Jerrin Padre.
Jerrin Padre 0:13
Hello!
Mike Cole 0:15
And we also have with us today a new producer extraordinare we have Talia Goodman joining us today. Hello Talia.
Talia Goodman 0:22
Hello, hello!
Mike Cole 0:24
Great to have you today Talia. You're gonna be running with some technical stuff in the background, correct?
Talia Goodman 0:28
Yes, I am.
Mike Cole 0:30
Okay. You may notice that we have some different theme music today. Some music in the background. I really like this. I think, honestly, we could just have this all the time just a little bit of acoustic strumming in the whole show. Just a low music bed right. So our guest today very talented and I think we are going to let him kick us off here, so why don't you go ahead Craig!
Craig Parks 0:50
*sings* Giving and getting is what we do. In good times and bad times, it's what helps us all get through.
Craig Parks 1:10
Give and get that high five, give and get a smile. Give and get a listening ear. Give and get in your own style.
Craig Parks 1:37
Some of us wear glasses, some communicate with our hands. Others read with their fingers, and some need help with making plans. Yeah. Some of us use crutches. Some of us use a chair.
Craig Parks 1:59
It doesn't matter how we move along, because we all need love and care yeah. So check it out! We all work at different speeds. But every one of us. Every one of us. Every one of us has special needs Yeah. I said living, and loving. It's clear right to the end. We've got to live and love our best. Extend that circle of friends. Oh yeah now! Give and get that high five, give and get a smile. Give and get a listening ear. There's only one of you, so give and get. Give and get in your own style. Yeah, in your own style. Oh yeah your own style. Yeah in your own style (awesome guitar lick).
Mike Cole 3:29
Wow. That was the show, right? No questions needed.
Jerrin Padre 3:36
This is going to be Craig Park's Tiny Desk concert actually.
Mike Cole 3:40
Yep, we did—we sprung that on Craig at the last minute. And we greatly appreciate the fact that he pulled his guitar out and did a song for us. A song about inclusivity and inclusion, which I can't think of a better topic to talk about right? Yeah, that's the topic of Season Two is Inclusive Service. And that definitely hit the spot right there. So just go ahead and jump right into our guest that's with us today. Today we have Craig Parks. Craig is the director of youth programming at Temple Solel. Did I pronounce that correct?
Craig Parks 4:09
You did.
Mike Cole 4:11
I've been working on that. I really have. It's gonna be a really cool episode, I think because as I said—during the pre-show, Craig I jumped on the internet and kind of stalked you a bit just to see who were interviewing. And I know Talia knows you well. And I definitely saw the fact that you enjoy bringing joy to people. And it's a passion that you have. You couldn't run the camp that you do without passion, I know that for a fact. So welcome, Craig. Welcome to Peoplecast
Craig Parks 4:37
Thank you, Mike. It is really, really a pleasure to be here to be with you.
Mike Cole 4:41
I tell you what, we normally start our episodes with a few questions. So Craig, if you're up to it, I got a few questions for you.
Craig Parks 4:48
Yeah, lay em on me, Mike!
Mike Cole 4:50
Alright, first question: self checkout or real person?
Craig Parks 4:53
I kind of get torn with that one, right. There's a part of me that's like it's nice to connect with humanity. But there's also that other part of me that's like really introverted. It's like, "Can I just like sneak out of here?" But I also think that it's not really great for humanity when we can all avoid each other at all times. It's funny, you know, when I grew up—I'm gonna sound really old right now. It was like before ATMs, right? And you had to actually go into a bank and interact with a human being. And the way the technology has moved, it is easier now for human beings to go pretty much their entire day, and their entire lives without really ever having to interact with a human being. I'm not sure that that's really good for humanity.
Mike Cole 5:33
On last episode, I think, Jerrin, we're talking about banking and how it's definitely changed. Right? You know, everything is online. And we could potentially go without speaking to a human for days. So that probably will give me my answer to the next question. Chat bot or live technical help?
Craig Parks 5:53
Oh, live technical help. I—it's just fun to mess with people. I mean, I say it because I'm just not that techie. And so, you know, these poor people on the other end, when they have to deal with me, I feel bad for them. But I definitely need a human being to kind of guide me.
Mike Cole 6:09
All right, final question. digital book or turning pages?
Craig Parks 6:13
Oh, turning pages without—that is not even close. Because also, I read with a pen in my hand or a highlighter. So I'm like underlining on writing. So it's got to be real paper.
Mike Cole 6:24
So you're not a iPad, Apple Pencil user. it's paper and pen, and that way you know you don't—you're not relying on technology.
Craig Parks 6:32
Yeah. For books, especially. I mean, I do—obviously I do a lot online, but like when it comes to books and reading, definitely paper. Maybe I'm just very old school.
Mike Cole 6:42
No, not at all. I mean, to me, it's like cracking open that book and that new book smell. Or you go to a library. Libraries just have that, you know...
Jerrin Padre 6:50
Old book smell actually, very musty.
Mike Cole 6:52
Yeah, yeah. Old book smell. Like many pages were turned in here. What about you Jerrin? Are you digital or page turner?
Jerrin Padre 6:59
I go through seasons, it just depends on what I'm reading. I feel like for fiction books, I really like having the physical book in front of me. But then I think for like more nonfiction or self helpy type books, I don't mind reading it digitally. That's the general trend.
Mike Cole 7:15
Talia, what about you?
Talia Goodman 7:17
I am also cut from the same cloth as Craig for sure. I'm absolutely physical. I still journal and all that jazz.
Mike Cole 7:24
Cool. Well, that was it. That's the questions, three simple questions. And, you know, I think we learned a lot about Craig Parks and Talia and Jerrin as well. So kind of leads me into some of our questions that we're going to ask you. These really get more to kind of what the focus is for our episode, which is kind of cool, because you actually tied our intro questions into that as well. So the first question is what was your first job? The job that you got, you were making money and putting money in the bank?
Craig Parks 7:52
Well, I think first job I had was probably babysitting, you know. To some degree makes sense, given that I still professionally work with children, but it was probably babysitting. And then in terms of like an actual company, I worked for my dad who is a CPA and he actually just finally retired. And then after that, I worked for Sport Mart, which was a sporting goods store in the San Fernando Valley area. And that was really very formative. It was that job; that was the first time I dealt with, like, middle managers and bureaucracies and power trippers. And I remember getting suspended, and I was like, "What? I'm a 17 year old kid!" And while I was suspended for that week, I was thinking, "I don't really want to work for these people. I feel like I was treated really poorly, and really disrespectfully." And so I told the manager of the store, I was like, "Yeah, I think I'm gonna just not continue here. It doesn't feel good." And I remember walking out distinctly thinking, "If I am ever somebody's boss, I don't care how old they are, it doesn't matter. My goal is that anybody I'm ever supervising, I want them to feel respected and cared for." And, you know, it wasn't that many years later, I was a very young camp director. When I got my first chance to create a camp, I was 23 years old. And I took that lesson with me, and still to this day it is really, really important to me. You know, when you have hiring and firing power, there's a natural power imbalance at play. So I don't know if there's any listeners here who happen to be bosses, but I think owning your power imbalances and recognizing it is really important, you know. And I've got some CIT's (counselor in training) that are as young as 13 or 14 years old, and like I want them to feel really, really listened to, and cared for, and give them opportunities to be heard. So I think those early jobs can be really formative. They certainly were for me, and my own understanding of what does it mean to work with other people? And what does it mean when you are being supervised? Was it mean to be a supervisor and how do you navigate power structures in a way that feels real and authentic and good? To really help create the kind of world that I aspire to, that I want to help create.
Jerrin Padre 10:05
Just for our listeners, Craig, would you mind cluing us in on what CIT's are?
Craig Parks 10:09
Oh! Sorry. One of my many jobs is I direct a summer camp, it's a day camp for kindergarten to sixth graders. And a CIT is a counselor in training. So they're on the younger side, and they're not full on counselors, yet. Counselors tend to be a little bit older, like high school and college. And then I've got head counselors who are supervisors themselves, and they are college age and beyond. So I supervise a lot of levels. And for me, it's really, really important that people are not going to feel that they are ever being power tripped over. And really—and I think that there's a really great way to accomplish that. And that is a really clear mission. Like what is this place about? Whatever your place is, what is it about? So that way, any decision that gets made doesn't have to be personal. It can always speak to, "Does it serve this mission?" And if you have enough confidence in yourself that you hire people with gifts and talents, you have enough confidence in your own ability to hire well, and train well. Then if things aren't going well, you could own it and be like, "Okay, this is a reflection of what I need to change, not necessarily them." So, again, I think it all comes back that sense of purpose and mission. And if everybody who is in your purview is aligned with that mission, then I think that alignment lets you go forward in really beautiful ways. In fact, during staff training week, you know, that's the first thing we cover. Well, I do a song to get everybody connected. And then I go over the mission statement, and make sure that everybody understands what it is. And then I asked him like, "Are you aligning? Does this inspire you?" And I tell them, like, "Look, if it doesn't, that's totally cool. And this would be a good time to leave. And that's cool, too, if you need to. But if you're staying, and you're aligned with this mission, we are all in this together." And it's been a really amazing journey. I've directed and created two summer camps, the current one, we just completed our 22nd summer. And it's just an amazing, incredible place where people keep coming back, year after year, and even my assistant directors have been former campers. So that is the validation that people are feeling good, and they're feeling valued.
Jerrin Padre 12:13
Yeah, it's kind of like Mike was saying, I think you really hit on that inclusion piece really well. And something that we were thinking about when we were planning the season, when we thought of the words "inclusive service," what popped into mind for all of us was religious and spiritual service. Just because I know service is a huge part of most religions. So why don't you unpack what service means to you?
Craig Parks 12:37
Yeah, that's a really—that's a great question. That's a deep question. And, you know, when you talk about religion or spirituality, talk about the spirit of people. Like, the question becomes for me, like what crushes people's spirits, and what elevates them. And you know, in my tradition, which is Judaism, what guides it is this notion of—it's called the B'tzelem Elohim—which basically means that all of us are created in the image of the Divine, which means that every single human being is—it equals the playing field. Like, we're all part of this divine energy, right? And so we're all worthy of dignity. We're all worthy of respect at all times. Right? That's what eliminates the power trip, at least for me, it does. And having been on both sides of dealing with businesses, where I've been the customer, being in a business where I am, you know, the boss of a staff of people, but also I am the conduit in the communicator to parents who have their kids in my youth programs. There's a lot there. But if you always keep that spiritual—for me, what is the spiritual truth—is that every human being is worthy of dignity and respect and kindness. What that does is it allows me, even when there's hard moments, or you might be dealing with really upset or frustrated parents, it goes to another spiritual principle in our tradition, and I think it's the greatest wisdom that actually exists on earth. So here it comes everybody. So like the most powerful prayer in all Judaism is called the Sh'ma. And I think it's often perhaps misunderstood, but, you know, as I understand it, the Sh'ma actually means "listen." But I think it means more than listen, I think it means really, like, "Hey! Pay attention!" Really pay attention, really listen on the deepest of levels. Listen, listen to your own heart, your own soul, listen to other people what they're saying. But beyond surface of the words themselves, like what else are they communicating? And really pay attention to their body language, to their tone, and when you can key in and really pay attention, what's waiting on the other side is—in the last word in the Sh'ma is "echad," which is a Hebrew word meaning one, right? It's so interesting because this prayer doesn't start with oneness. It's like, "No, if you want to get there, you have to start with really, really paying attention." And so those are some of the spiritual principles that guide me. So when I've dealt with some parents who, at times, may have been really upset about something, I have to just breathe through it to not get defensive. And remember, just listen. Listen to them. And then I find that if you validate their experience, and—which is a different thing than agreeing with them—but if you validate and say, "I hear you. Like this has been your experience, and I can understand where you're coming from." And even checking in like, "Is this right?" Then it shows that, one, that you've really paid attention to them. One, they feel understood and listened to, and then what does is it opens up a space for connection. And then it opens up space for them to hear you maybe in a way that they wouldn't have, if you hadn't opened up that space. So those are some of the spiritual principles for me that that guide me.
Mike Cole 15:50
Craig I think what you said transitions really well to the next question that I have for you. And I think you'll be able to really tie in what you just said into this. So question for you is, what about community? What does that look like, you know, working in the community or kind of going above and beyond for your community? What does what you just talked about—what does that look like in the community?
Craig Parks 16:12
You know, in Jewish tradition, we understand that we are social creatures, and we actually need one another. The notion of just kind of rugged individuality. "Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps," is not really one that Judaism adheres to. It's more, "Actually, you know what? We need each other. And there are going to be times when we're in a place of strength. And when we are, you better be ready to help and help lift others up off the ground. And likewise, there's gonna be times when you are really hurting, and you're really struggling, and you're on the ground. And when that happens, you better let people help you up too, because everybody at times will up and there'll be times when everybody is down." And so that notion of community, that we can and should be there for one another through the really, really amazing celebratory times, and also to the really, really challenging difficult times. And really knowing that, in the end, we're better off for supporting one another. And when I think about building a community like camp—which, you know, it started small. The first summer back in the summer of 2000, we had 23 campers, and I had like seven staff, people who I trained that summer. And then we eventually built up to 100-150 kids a session, and I was training 60 people every summer. And that only—you can only serve that many people if you have a community. And so the level of joy that gets spread if you're just one person, it's just limited. But if you continue to build a community of people who are aligned with certain values, then it just ripples out everywhere.
Jerrin Padre 17:47
I think it's really—it's super, super evident that you are able to lead by example for all of your staff members, and the counselors in training. And I think all these philosophies—you know, they're not crazy complex. But I do think that they're big philosophies to instill, especially on young people. So do you have any, like, practical tips on incentivizing like the younger folks that you hire to deliver that same level of service and serving the community with a mission in mind, as you were saying, and with listening ears? Feel free to tell us any any practical tips you have on that.
Craig Parks 18:26
Yeah—you know, it's funny, you were saying, especially with young people, you know, I gotta say, Jerrin, that I think that in many ways, it's older people that these philosophies are harder to grant. I think one of the reasons why I'm so drawn to young people is because they're still in the inquiry, right? They're in the beginning phase of their young adulthood, where they're like, "Yeah, who am I? And what do I stand for? And what do I value. And am I living in a way that's consistent with my own values?" You know, one of the kind of—you were talking about religious principles—one that goes through all religions is the Golden Rule, right? And each religion has its own version of that. And you know, "treat others how you would like to be treated" is kind of the one that most people know. But like in Judaism, it's kind of flipped around a little bit. It is, "What is hateful to you, do not do to another." You used the word, "incentivize." I know, for me, the first time I ever worked at a day camp, I was so blown away with my connection with those campers. I'd never done it before. It was my first time ever being a camp counselor. And I just woke up every morning so excited. My incentive wasn't anything other than the pure love of the work. And so when I think about, like, what will incentivize people, like practical things, all I can do is train them to be themselves and work with young kids in a way that's really joyful. And I trust that, if they're doing that, the incentive is built in the connection of relationship building. When you have a little camper who just like they see you, and they light up. That's the incentive. You know, for me to work with a teenager, and they share with me a struggle, the incentive is knowing that you could be of service and help facilitate healing and joy and connection.
Mike Cole 20:17
I like what you just did, Craig. Because whether you realize it or not, you drew a lot of parallels between not just in religious service, but a lot of what you talked about crosses over to just treating people—like you said, "What is hateful to you, don't do to other people." And you're right, the Golden Rule definitely is permeated throughout our society. And I think there's really no better place than it plays out sometimes is in a retail or hospitality space, where maybe you've had a horrible day, you've got to come into work, and you have to put on that face that your leadership wants you to put on so that way you can represent the company well to customers, but just really don't feel like it. I think if we take some cues from what you just said, and remember that we all do need each other, and it is that human connection. And it is that deep. I mean, it's not a transaction, you're serving people, when you're in a service role like that. I know the company that we work for, we're launching a new course offering, it's called Fill The Glass: Taking the Ordinary to Extraordinary, and a lot of what you just said ties into some of the objectives of that offering. And one of them is to be positive. The other one is read the clues, which you mentioned, really, truly listening. And so I find that just really fascinating that you kind of just brought that around. So one more question here that I have. So in your role, right, you mentioned that you've served multiple age groups, right? You serve kids, you serve young adults, you serve older adults in the congregation. You know, even fellow staff members, right, it's internal service as well. How do you—how does Craig Parks balance all of that?
Craig Parks 21:57
You know, I think, to some degree, the variety of it creates its own balance. I get to work with young kids and teens, and I get to do music, but I also get to direct a camp. I also get to write curriculum, specifically just for eighth graders and for ninth graders. And when the pandemic started, I started a meditation group. And it's mostly older adults, and that has turned into an extraordinary group of human beings. There's a lot that I get to do and it's pretty amazing.
Talia Goodman 22:23
Can I cut in for a second?
Craig Parks 22:25
I would love it Talia!
Talia Goodman 22:28
I'm just over here convelling, because I'm one of those lucky, lucky young people that started with you in preschool, went to your camp, went through the ranks at camp, was a CIT, was a counselor, was a head counselor, and then finally had to, you know, fly and do life. But we have this thing at camp where we talk about the [unintelligible], which is like our—basically our heart of camp. It's nothing special, just the concrete slab and, you know, a little cover. But we talk about all the time how you know, it's a place of magic. And like this [unintelliglbe] is magnetic. And we all come back, and it's this thing, but you know what, it's just a concrete slab. And I think that what's so important and kind of the narrative throughout is Craig created this space of leadership, of example, to where I learned as a tiny boss, or as a 13 year old, as an 18 year old, as a 20 year old that, you know, I was safe and respected and my voice was heard. And I think I really carried that through into who I am now, who I am as a professional, who I am just as like a human being. Just wanted to add that.
Craig Parks 23:44
Well, you know, Talia, first of all, thank you so much for like those really kind words and you are a shining example of exactly everything we are talking about. The way you move around this world and everybody you interact with, there's a power in your kindness, there's a power in your creativity. There's a power in your intention with everything that you do. And you know, I'm like, really I'm convelling also that you're a Camp Simcha alumni. You're part of the campus, of the family.
Talia Goodman 24:14
Thank you. I think I learned a lot about owning that from you.
Jerrin Padre 24:18
So special! I'm so glad we were able to have both of you on the show.
Mike Cole 24:22
Yeah, I think I see now where Talia's—her demeanor, her light that she has, I see where that comes from. And it's really cool that, you know, to have someone who has had that much of an influence on her and to be able to see that without knowing that. For me personally, I think is really cool.
Jerrin Padre 24:42
And I feel like it's very aspirational. When we put it in the framework of like corporate America. How great would it be if leaders, managers, could make their staff members, and employees, and colleagues feel as empowered as you make your staff members, colleagues, and friends feel, Craig. I think the idea of wanting to make everyone feel validated, heard and respected. It's so simple. But it's something that falls short a lot of the time, and it would be great if aspirationally like companies could aspire to that.
Craig Parks 25:17
Totally agree. And you know, it doesn't have to take that much. Here's a practical thing that I do in terms of that—like staff meetings, right? So we have staff meetings, all staff meetings, once a week, and the agenda is set by them first. So I'm like, "What's on your mind? What can we help you with?" We go around to everybody that's there first. And then after everybody has said theirs, then us directors put what we have on the agenda. So I think that's just a practical example of, "Oh, wow, the directors really do care. Like they're dealing with our stuff first, they're not just about their agenda."
Mike Cole 25:52
Speaking of dealing with stuff, I mean, we're all dealing with stuff, whether you show it or not, whether it's visible outward. I used to have a pastor whose his comment was, "You're either going into a storm or coming out of a storm at any point in your life." And that's anybody. So my question to you is do you have any book recommendations or any speakers that have influenced you that might be good for someone who's looking to practice some of those tenants who mentioned, and to just really work on honing their ability to have that connection?
Craig Parks 26:25
There's a really great book. And it's written by a rabbi, but it's not written necessarily just for Jewish people. It's written for kind of everybody. Her name is Rabbi Naomi Levy, and she's in Los Angeles. And she wrote a book called Einstein And The Rabbi: Searching For The Soul. And she's gone through her storm, like she witnessed her father being murdered in a very, very intense trauma. And she now she's a very, very inspirational rabbi in Los Angeles. And that really is a great read. You know, almost anything by Abraham Joshua Heschel, he was an incredible rabbi. He actually marched with Martin Luther King, Jr. One of his famous quotes is, "I felt as if I'm praying with my feet." His stuff is pretty deep, but anything by him is really incredible. And aside from gurus, or books, or speakers, the one thing I would highly recommend, more than anything, is cut out all the distractions. It's something that I've recently tried to do, and it's very confronting, but take time to actually listen. Take time to actually pay attention. Take time to do with the sh'ma. Take time. Some people call it meditation, some people call it sitting, but try to sit every day. There's one other book that I will recommend, and it's called Everyday Holiness. And it's a Jewish practice of Musar. But it's—again, it can be for anybody, whether they're Jewish or not, because these character traits that they talk about, they're for all humanity, right. Some of the character traits around humility, and patience, and gratitude, compassion, equanimity, honor, simplicity, enthusiasm, generosity, truth, loving, kindness. It's a really, really great book. So there's a couple of recommendations. But really, I think the best thing to do is to be able to just be with yourself, and everything that that brings up. It's hard, it's confronting, but what I find is, at least for me, it's helped get to a place of greater clarity and courage. And you know, Mike, I love what you said about what your pastor said, "You're either going into a storm, or you're coming out of one." And oftentimes what we've seen in our society is when people are in a storm, the coping mechanisms aren't always so healthy. Like it—you know, so that's what I would say, you know. Again, like I read all the time, and there's a lot of inspiring people that are out there, without a doubt. But I really think that—can you sit with yourself for 10-15 minutes a day and just breathe?
Mike Cole 28:46
Thank you, Craig. Definitely. I mean, you're sharing your heart, we can definitely feel that. And I think we have a lot to walk away with today. I think our listeners have a lot to walk away with today. And I truly just want to thank you for being on the show, and giving us a nice little intro to use for the episode as well. But in all seriousness, Craig, thank you so much for being on the show today.
Craig Parks 29:10
Oh, it's my pleasure. And if it's okay, that song is called "Give and Get." And if anybody's listening that wants to get in touch with me—I have a whole slew of songs as well—and if you go to www.parentingharmony.com, sign up, you can get a free song that you could do with your own young kids, if you've got young kids. But you can also—it's a way to get in touch with me, too, if anything I've said resonates with you. So I really appreciate the opportunity, Jerrin, thank you so much. I so appreciate it. Talia, you're just such an amazing human being. I'm always inspired by things that you're up to. And Mike. Really just wonderful questions and the heart and soul of what you guys are producing, in terms of this podcast, is really beautiful—what you're putting out into the world. So thank you. It really is an honor to be with you today.
Mike Cole 29:55
Oh, thank you, Craig, definitely. And just also want to thank the listeners for spending time some time with us today and we will include the web address that Craig just mentioned, as well as the resources in our show notes. Until next time, though, thanks everyone for listening! This has been Peoplecast.
Jerrin Padre 30:10
See ya!