303. Day 9: Divorce & the Holidays | Why Asking For Help Feels So Threatening

Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce
303. Day 9: Divorce & the Holidays | Why Asking For Help Feels So Threatening
Dec 30, 2025 Season 4 Episode 303
My Coach Dawn

The holidays after divorce don’t hurt because you’re single.
They hurt because they force you to confront how unsafe it feels to need support.

In this Day 9 episode of 12 Days of Divorce Christmas, we talk about the hidden, hardest part of life after divorce—asking for help. Not logistically, but emotionally. Not politely, but vulnerably.

If feeling safe, seen, and supported came naturally to you, this wouldn’t be the relationship you ended up in—and it wouldn’t be how it ended. So when the holidays raise the volume on need, asking for support can feel threatening, activating, or even shame-inducing.

Producer Joy joins me to explore what keeps so many women stuck in invisibility—especially during the holidays and heading into the New Year. We talk about worthiness, vulnerability, and the very real fear that comes with letting yourself be witnessed after divorce.

This episode invites you to slow down and ask:
 – What do I actually need right now?
 – Who has shown me they’re safe enough to ask?
 – What would it look like to make one honest, aligned request?

This isn’t about forcing vulnerability or asking people to give what they’ve never shown they can.
 It’s about reclaiming your right to matter—and letting it begin with you.

If the holidays after divorce are making it painfully clear how hard it is to need support, this episode will help you understand why—without judgment, pressure, or pretending you’re ready for more than you are.

You’re allowed to feel the fear.
 And you’re allowed to ask anyway.

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Episode Artwork 303. Day 9: Divorce & the Holidays | Why Asking For Help Feels So Threatening 9:46 Episode Artwork Ep. 302 - Day 8 - Divorce, Holidays & New Years: Why Recreating Traditions After Divorce Backfires 3:08 Episode Artwork Ep. 301 - Day 7: Loneliness After Divorce | When the Wave Hits 3:06 Episode Artwork Ep. 300 - Day 6: Feeling Like an Outsider After Divorce | Christmas Cards & Comparison 3:03 Episode Artwork Ep. 299 Day 5: Missing My Kids During the Holidays After Divorce 3:13 Episode Artwork Ep. 298 Day 4: Christmas + Divorce | A Quantum Meditation to Shift Loneliness in Your Nervous System 3:12 Episode Artwork Ep. 297 - Day 3: Going to the Holiday Party Alone After Divorce | How to Prepare Without Losing Yourself 3:17 Episode Artwork 296. Day 2: Quiet House After Divorce | Nervous System Relief When the Silence Feels Too Loud 8:05 Episode Artwork 295. Day 1: Divorce During the Holidays | Nervous System Support When You Feel Like You Can’t Do This 15:45 Episode Artwork Ep. 294 - Divorce Anxiety 😟 Calming an Overloaded Nervous System with EFT Tapping and IFS 3:49 Episode Artwork 293. Feeling Stuck After Divorce — Nervous System Patterns That Leave You Scattered and Unsafe 38:07 Episode Artwork Ep. 292 - Behind the Mic: My Recent Miscarriage, Masculine Energy & Learning to Receive 3:40 Episode Artwork 291. Holiday Decision Fatigue After Divorce And The Hidden Reason You’re So Overwhelmed 35:12 Episode Artwork Ep. 290 - Why Cord Cutting Doesn’t Work After Divorce (And the Practice That Actually Breaks the Nervous-System Grip) 3:46 Episode Artwork 289. Trauma Bond After Divorce — Nervous System Signs and What to Do When Your Body Wants Him Back 41:02 Episode Artwork Ep. 288 - Calming Public Grief After Divorce: A Quick Nervous-System Reset (Grocery Store or Family Bathroom Edition) 3:17 Episode Artwork 287. Loneliness After Divorce — Why Everyday Moments (Like the Grocery Store) Hurt So Much 33:38 Episode Artwork Ep. 286 - A Holiday Loneliness Reset: A Nervous-System Ritual for Divorce Nights That Feel Too Quiet 3:28 Episode Artwork 285. Holiday Grief During Divorce — Nervous System Support When You Feel Alone & They Look Happy 35:46 Episode Artwork Ep. 284 - You Can’t Heal From Divorce Without This Kind of Forgiveness 4:23 Episode Artwork 283. When Divorce Resentment Won’t Let You Breathe 38:50 Episode Artwork 282. The Missing Link in Perimenopause & Divorce Recovery 27:42 Episode Artwork 281. When Menopause Meets Divorce: Hot Flashes, Heartbreak & Rebuilding Your Identity 37:23 Episode Artwork Ep. 280. The Ache of Alone: A Guided EFT Practice to Remember You Belong After Divorce 4:28 Episode Artwork 279. Single in a Couple’s World: Healing the Lonely, Left-Out Feeling After Divorce 31:16