If You Can’t Pivot, Life Gets a Lot Harder Than It Needs to Be

This week didn’t go as planned and that’s exactly the point.

In this episode, I’m talking about pivoting. The small, everyday kind and the bigger life shifts we don’t always see coming. What happens when the plan falls apart? When something throws off your week? When life doesn’t go the way you expected?

We’re getting into bounce back time, letting go of control, and why your ability to adjust might matter more than your ability to plan.

Plus answering a few of your questions on grief, connection, and what a really good day looks like right now.

If things feel a little off right now, like your plan isn’t really… planning... This one’s for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Okay, here we go. A last day in April. Here we are. Oh my gosh, I gotta get comfortable. Hey guys, welcome back, navigating between the lines. My name is Maggie File, and I am your host. I came into this week on a little bit of a high, had a really good weekend. I had four guests lined up. I was super pumped, feeling organized, feeling consistent, like, okay, you are a podcast. You are gonna like be serious about it. And the library, here we are, where I record, was dealing with a technical outage and was closed until further noticed. So it's nobody's fault. And I was instantly like, oh no, what am I gonna do? A little bit of a panic. I'm like, Maggie, this is why you need to have a makeshift studio at home. But then I remembered the pilot's audio and I was like, okay, you got a chill. We're not gonna do that. This isn't like, you know, a top 10 or top 100 show. Like nobody's gonna care. But you know who cares? You guys? Me. I care. Have you ever put your mind to something and you committed to a goal? So you're like gonna do anything you can do to achieve that. Achieving a goal is not easy, especially if you're making like a big goal or you're putting yourself out there. Think about like a marathon. You have to train. What if you get like a pulled hamstring or something? Anyway, I think as soon as I was over the disappointment hop, which takes not very long. I'm like, okay, what are we gonna do here? Let's work on plan B. And here I am, plan B, the library is reopened, so I'm excited. My washer broke this weekend. So I was like, perfect. I've got eight basket. I'm not exaggerating, like literally like eight baskets of dirty clothes that I'm just choosing not to look at right now. So new washers coming tomorrow. Everything's gonna be fine. And it's May next week, which is just chaos for everyone. Spring sports, spring cleaning, everything all at once. Like, what are we doing? We're doing everything. And it's always those weeks you feel the most on top of things that immediately humble you. And I'm not gonna pretend like I love that, but it's life. It is what it is. So we enter the pivot. And I think pivoting is an underrated life skill. Most people are hesitant to pivot, like, think of a career change or moving. Fear of change is very real. But what happens when you don't have a choice? And it doesn't have to be like something crazy, but but you've got a sick kid. Someone cancels your scheduled appointment that you've had booked for months. The flight got canceled and now you're stuck. Technical difficulties, here I am. I mean, you get it. And I think a lot of people panic, or maybe they don't have the coping skills, so they cancel or they become disappointed, and that's it. Also, dot, dot, dot, like I'm not out here saving lives. You guys, I'm a mom. I manage my house, I've got a full schedule, like everyone else. But I feel like I'm surrounded by people who just handle it. Life throws something at them and they adjust, they move things around, they keep going. And I love that energy. But then, you know, every once in a while, something small happens, like small in the grand scheme of things, and it turns into a whole week. And I don't mean that in like a harsh way. I know I'm probably guilty of hyperfocusing on something that does not matter. But I do think there's something to be said for building that muscle of like being able to go, okay, that's annoying, but I'm fine, or like this didn't go how I wanted. Now what? Because if every little thing throws you off, life is going to feel a lot harder than it needs to be. And I'm not saying that from a perfect place. I'm literally recording a different episode right now than I was going to because my plan A didn't work. But I do think there's a difference between something happening and letting it take you out for the rest of the week. Like we got to roll, you know? Sometimes I look at it as like a little challenge. Okay, life's challenging me. So how can I overcome this? Just like an attitude problem. You know, when you're in like a little bit of an attitude funk, I'm like, okay, you gotta flip the script. Maggie, you gotta turn the tube, girl. I mean, I say that to my kids too. But we're all really good at having a plan. I love a plan, you love a plan, I want a plan. I think we all feel better with a plan and a schedule. But no one really talks about what happens when the plan just doesn't happen. What's that? What's the saying? Make plans and God laughs. Yes, make plans and God laughs. If I've learned anything, I think this is very accurate. All of the good things in my life, well, a lot of them have actually come from not having a direct plan or being able to go with the flow and trusting in it that's all gonna work out the way that it's supposed to, pivoting, taking the right turn, taking the left turn, taking the unknown trail. It's gonna lead you somewhere good. Promise. The truth is every level of life requires a new version of you. I really don't want to get that deep because I'm not in the mood for that today, but things are going to disappoint us. People will disappoint you. Your job might feel unfulfilling someday. You will lose people you never thought you'd lose. And I think the only thing that really matters out of that, because we have no control over those things, is what we do next. Calling it the power of the pivot. It's literally all we're doing here. The whole navigating between the lines screw. Some of you are brand new moms trying to figure out who you are now. Some of you don't want to go back to work and you feel weird, even saying that out loud. Some of you do want to go back to work and maybe you feel weird about that too, because whatever society is telling you you should do. Some of you are sitting in corporate jobs thinking there has to be something else for me. Some of you are trying to figure out how to work part-time, full-time, mom full-time. Like, what is the actual balance here? And I mean, all of us were just in it in some sort of whatever we're in, like in that phase where you're like, I don't even know what this next version of my life looks like yet. And I think all of that, that's a pivot. Because we act like life is supposed to be this straight path where you just decide something and then follow it forever. No, you can decide something and then life goes, that's not the right path for you. And so now you have to adjust. And if you don't know how to adjust, you end up feeling stuck in a life that doesn't even fit anymore. Saying this out loud, like it's like this big dramatic like life pivot. I don't really think I've tried to be that dramatic. I just thinking about having a plan and having it go south. It's about being able to move with your life as it changes. You know, have you ever seen that study? It's like your ability to bounce back from like an argument or a disagreement with your spouse or someone. It's not about the argument or whatever the situation is. It's your ability to bounce back from it and get back on track. I think about that a lot. Like, think about how quickly you can bounce back. Like if I get like really angry about something, what's my bounce back time? Yeah, I don't know. I guess the thing for us all to think about, what is my bounce back time? And yeah, sometimes that looks like big things. But losing losing someone, something, something big in your life, you don't have to pick yourself up overnight from those things. Sometimes it looks like I mean, this is so stupid now, but like recording a different podcast episode than the one you originally had planned. But here we are. And now that we're here, I think it all worked out the way it's supposed to. This one fits for this week. It's real. Don't worry, I rescheduled my guest. I'm like still very excited about it. And something else I've been thinking about. I know I'm usually talking to a female dominant audience here. But I've had more men as of late say that they've been listening. And I'm like, okay, wait, what? Are you guys here for research? Like, what's happening? But also I kind of love it because even if I'm talking from my perspective, the feelings, the transitions, the what am I doing moments, they're not just mine. They're yours too. And if, you know, a guy is tuning in to see what the women are thinking, I think I'm here for that. Like it is an honor, you guys. Thank you. I'm not gonna shift the podcast here and do any directly for you. Like they make other podcasts for that. But I do think it's cool that more people are finding their way into these conversations because clearly we are all navigating something. So instead of forcing something that wasn't gonna happen, I'd figure I'd just meet you here in the middle of it. Also, I don't know if you follow Navigating Between the Lines on Instagram. Who knows what I'm putting up there? Like some days I'm like, just post your podcast. Other days I'm like, oh, here's some behind-the-scenes photos, whatever I'm like working through that. But I did put a question box out a few weeks back and ask me anything. At first, when I put that little question box, like at the very beginning, I was very nervous, but you guys keep showing up. So thank you for that. So I do have some questions I'm gonna run through today. The first one, what's something you've changed your mind about in the last year that has surprised you? I obviously knew that I had this question for the last couple of weeks. I've been thinking about it. But I think for me, it's this idea of needing closure from other people or feeling like if you just talk something through enough, you'll both land in the same place. I used to really believe that. Like, let's have a conversation, let's make sure nothing goes unsaid. Let's clear it up so we both understand it the same way. And now I just don't think that's how it works. I think people are gonna feel what they feel. And two people can walk away from the same situation with completely different versions of it. No matter how crazy that is, you can't force someone to see it the way you do. So I think I've gotten a lot more at peace with just knowing where I stand and letting other people have their version, even if it's not the same as mine. I know who I am, I know how I showed up, and that's kind of where it ends for me now. Until tomorrow, if I change my mind, but we're allowed to change our minds. Okay, next question. You talk about grief and love coexisting. What does that actually look like on a random Tuesday? Well, I love this question because I didn't always believe that grief and love could exist at the same time. I used to think it was one or the other, like like you're either really deep into grief or you're okay. But on a random Tuesday, it's definitely both. It's getting ready for the day and having that quick thought, like, I can't call my mom, like on my way to wherever I'm going. And then a few minutes later, getting a text that makes you smile. It's striving and a song hits you in that exact way. And then a cardinal flies in front of your windshield. That happens to me all the time. You guys, cardinals fly in front of my windshield all the time. And I'm like, okay, there's still grief there, like an abundance of it. But there's also this feeling of, okay, I'm okay, or I'm gonna be okay, or they're still still with me in some way. It's not one replacing the other, it's both happening at the same time. And I really do believe now that your grief is only as deep as your love. So the deeper you love someone, the deeper you're gonna feel it when they're gone. That's just the deal. It doesn't go away, it just kind of learns how to live alongside everything else. Okay, how was that answer? Does that make sense? Okay, what does a really good day look for you right now? Okay, I'm gonna say movements and connection. I could give you a play-by-play, but that feels boring. Like nobody really cares. I have been loving doing a quick house loop in the morning, you know, like making the beds, putting clothes away, just getting things in order. It takes me literally 20 minutes and it sets the whole tone for me for my whole day. I don't know why I didn't do this earlier. And then connection, but you know, not surface level. I actually just read something about how catching up isn't the same as connection, and it kind of rewired my brain a little because it's a hundred percent true. You can talk to someone all the time and still not feel connected. You can also not talk to somebody very often and feel super connected. I think it just must be like how you're communicating. I've always been a conference call girl. Like I love a phone call. That's my lane. But I think now I'm more aware of when it actually feels like real connection versus just going through the motions. And when I have both of those things in a day, it's a good day. Okay, last question, and we are gonna be done here today. What's something about you people would be surprised to know? Okay, I'm gonna tell you. I don't know why I just got nervous, but I'm gonna tell you. I something that you would probably be surprised to know about me, just like a random thing, is that I have bunions and they are genetic. Just so you know, they skip a couple generations. So my great-grandmother had them. And probably my great-grandchild will have them too. It's like a wild thing. And I'm not getting the surgery. I did get the bunion of the day award at the orthopedic's office. Um, but they don't cause me any pain yet. So we are gonna roll. And that's it for today, you guys. Not the episode I had planned, but I had fun recording this. So that's good. If you're pivoting too, welcome. Share it with someone who gets it. Come find me at Navigating Between the Lines. Send me your questions. As always, here to connect with you, and I will talk to you next week.