Why Are We So Busy? | NBTL Revisited

RUNNING IT BACK: NBTL Revisited 🎙️

We say it constantly.. life goes so fast.

And then we turn around and fill every available inch of it.

This week I’m running it all the way back to Episode 3, Between the Minutes. I recorded this almost a year ago and apparently had nine minutes to discuss being busy, my son being born early, grief, my Grandma Sandy, how we spend our time AND the moon. I also talked approximately 400 words per minute.

But listening back, I realized I was asking a question then that I’m still asking now, Busy doing what?

After a summer that felt both really full and really good, I’m realizing I have more control over the pace of my life than I sometimes want to admit.

We can't slow down time. But maybe we can stop filling every damn minute of it.

Here’s Episode 3, with a little perspective from almost one year later.

The editing does not hold up. The moon does. 🌙

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to Navigating Between the Lines, you guys. My name is Maggie Fowle, your host. We are doing something a little different around here for the next few weeks. We are going to be running it back. I'm coming up on one year of this podcast, and there are almost 50 episodes sitting there that I have not listened to since I recorded them. So I thought it would be fun to go back to a few of them and see what I said, what I still believe, what has changed, and apparently how quickly I used to talk because episode three, you guys, between the minutes. Uh it is a nine-minute episode. And somehow I discussed being busy, William being born early, how fast time goes, my grandma Sandy, and looking at the moon. Nine minutes. And after the summer that I've had that we've all had, I know I am going to take some responsibility for this one. We talk all the time about how fast life goes. We say the kids are growing up way too fast. Summer flew by. Can't believe school is going to start. How was it already August? And then we turn around and we fill every available inch of our lives. Why don't we just like clear the schedule more? I was thinking about this so much this week because we had to be out of the house, I think, early morning, every single day. And there's probably two sides to this, but I think I'm in the camp that I've just been a little overwhelmed with everything that we have going on. And it's mostly because of me. If I just didn't even have anything for the morning, a slower morning, you know, I made bacon and pancakes this morning. I was like, we've had no time to do that. You know, you're just like grabbing something quickly and going. Anyway, why don't we clear our schedules more? Why am I always acting like everything needs to be done right this minute? I think one thing that changed for me since recording this is that Medi, you have control over that. Not over time moving that's gonna go fast no matter what's happening, whether we like it or not, but over how much I cram into these days. Let me ask you a question. What did this summer teach you about what actually deserves your time? And if you're sitting there being like, no, we had the best summer ever, it was great. I equally do feel like it was the best summer ever. I joke right now, this is the summer that my kids are going to be like, this is the summer that mom got us a donut every day, and I'm getting a donut too. I think in my mind, though, my calendar was filled every day. Even if it was a dentist appointment, it's like you're running from a camp to an appointment, or maybe you don't have a camp and you're doing whatever. I'm just saying I was like looking for more slower days consecutively, is what it is. Not just like one home day or one day to go to the beach or one day to go, you know, to the pool, whatever you want to do. I wanted like a week. Maybe I just need to take like a summer vacation and go up north. Maybe that's my problem talking out this out loud. I think I'm on a rambling session. I gotta stop. Okay, let's go back to the original question. What did the summer teach you about what actually deserves your time? Listen, we all know how fast it goes. I don't just want to keep talking about how fast it goes. And I hopefully I don't talk that fast anymore that I used to. In that episode, there's also a part where I talk about William being born early, which I completely forgot was in there. Again, how did that story fit into nine minutes? I'm not sure. And I talk about something my grandma Sandy said about those moments when you have so many thoughts and feelings that you feel like you need to figure them all out right now. That's just a feeling. You don't have to do that. That one still holds up. And so does the very last thing I say in this episode: look at the moon. The editing does not hold up, but the moon does. So here it is, episode three of Navigating Between the Lines, Between the Minutes. We are running it back. Hey there, happy Thursday. Welcome back to season one, episode three of Navigating Between the Lines. I'm your host, Maggie File. I don't know if you've listened to the other episodes. There are a lot more of you than I was anticipating. So to me, it's a little wild because I talked about this for so long, and it is a little hard to believe that it's the third episode already, just like that. I don't know even if it sucks. I think I'm learning and I'm getting through the uncomfortableness. So thanks for being here with me again. And funny because today we're gonna talk about time. Not like what time it is or how many hours until this, but how we spend it, what we spend it on, the way that it can go fast or move slow. Oh, the Justin Pieper song, you can move faster. Okay, how it slips away. It's not an infinite resource, you know. And I've been finding myself thinking about it so much more. Really sorry about that. I'm not a good singer, but that just came into my mind. Anyway, getting back on track. We only have so have so many hours in a day to do certain things, and there's so many distractions wherever you look. So have you ever checked your screen time? Have you looked at that little area on your phone? I'm not gonna lecture anyone, just maybe think about that with what you're spending your time on. Some days, you know, some days you have a list and that's how your day's recorded by how much you accomplished. And, you know, I once timed myself emptying the dishwasher and it was like 96 seconds. Why do we wait so long to do the little annoying things? Because they really don't even take that much time at all. We waste more time dreading it than doing the dumb task. And then on the other hand, sometimes I get sucked into a good book and I just read for hours on end. Is that time wasted? If it's nighttime hours, does it count? Because it's not taking away from family time. So does that count? If it's filling you up, I don't know, that's time you're giving to yourself. Time just slips quietly, invisibly. One year turns into three. We have birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, new years where new goals are made for the year. Most are never achieved. Each passing, recognizing the time passed for us. We say we're busy, but busy doing what? Actually, I was at the gym this morning and my friend is going to a little retreat tomorrow, wellness retreat. And I was asking her, I'm like, wait, what is this for? Again, I know it's like a wellness retreat, but explain it to me. And she's like, her friend that's putting it on is like, our schedules are so busy. We're always running from one thing to the next. And I'm like, oh, we're we are literally in a time in our life where we have to schedule time to take time to rest and relax. I mean, you get this, right? And sometimes you just have to remove yourself from the daily grind, the daily hustle, whatever it is, to kind of come back. This is, these are facts. This is a true thing. I mean, I'm a little kind of want to be invited because it kind of sounds great. Maybe next time. But don't worry, I'm not gonna go down a road about productivity or how to fit more into your day. And I'm very aware that there are seasons where we really are, quote, busy and, you know, there's work and nonstop sport schedules. And I'm not discounting any of that. This isn't a how-to podcast. It's how do we relate to all these things that we navigate together because there's somebody else that's in your same boat doing the same thing. You know, so I think I think my goal is just to be aware of about noticing the time before it slips away. And I think we could all do a better job at this. I know for me, by slowing down the last few weeks, you know, school started, we're staying in town more, we've got Saturday football games, and I find myself in a new schedule where I'm like, I feel like my time's balanced, if balance can be a thing. I've got a couple stories for you today. I was driving home from dinner last weekend, and you know, when you get the chance to meet up with an old friend and you're talking about the good days and laughing about how you used to be. Anyway, I was feeling, I was just happy, right? And I was driving home past the children's hospital. I passed it a lot, I guess, but it was nighttime. It was all lit up, and the thought just hit me. I'm like, there are so many kids in there, there's so many families in there. After visiting hours are over, like, are there kids alone? There's babies in there, I know, because my son was born at 31 weeks and he spent 38 days in there. It was my first baby in 38 days in the hospital. You can't bring your baby home. But, you know, the beeping monitors, the premi diapers, I can still smell the hand sanitizer in there. If you've been in there, you definitely know what I'm talking about. It's like the hand sanitizer has this distinct smell that you can never forget. Okay, anyway, but you know, one day you're worrying about lung growth and finished bottles, and now all of that's kind of a blur. Like survival time is strange. It crawls, but also rushes, takes everything from you. And then one day you wake up and you realize you aren't surviving anymore. You're like, oh, I'm back living. And now my tiny four-pound baby is a middle schooler. I say it every day, like, where did the time go? Why are you so big? You're almost as tall as me. Stop growing. And I know you feel the same way. We all watch our kids grow up right before our eyes. And then there's the ordinary markers of time. I get my hair done every seven weeks and blonde, so that's the deal. And before you're like, who cares how often you get your hair done? This was a marker of time for me because two years ago on July 17th, I went in for an appointment. It was two years after losing my mom. And I can tell you that I barely acknowledged the day that I was sick. I was traveling. I got back at 1 a.m. the night before, was up at six. I had to go drive to Detroit for a meeting and came back, did my hair appointment, went to dinner, and really I just I should have cleared the schedule. You know, I traded my health that day for what? Nothing that I had was that important. I could have traded it for a different day. But the week after, I crashed like completely, like a complete little depression spiral, not making light, but was going through all the motions. And then all of a sudden, I was like, boom, I have another hair appointment today. But it was a reminder that that time flew by and I didn't have anything to show for it. It was time that literally slipped away. And then there's a day like yesterday where I thrived, where it feels like you fit a whole week into a day. I had a 45-minute conference call, covered 36 topics. My friend and I, we said only if these phone calls could be recorded, I would never have to record a podcast again. But honestly, I don't think I carry enough liability insurance to release those phone calls. So maybe another day. But we had zero things on our calendar for the evening, zero. And time seemed to completely slow down. Space free, taking it all in. Busy doesn't always mean meaningful. And sometimes busy is just a way to avoid being still. And I get that I'll admit sometimes we need that too. There's always a cost. Time for money, money for time, brain space for exhaustion, rest for brain space. If someone asked you five years from now what you remember about the season, what would your answer be? It's rhetorical, by the way, but ebbs and flows on repeat. I think time feels different for everyone. All the dates that take us back make us miss the old days, make us grateful for the today's, the hope for tomorrow. They say we shouldn't look back because there's nothing in our past we can change. All the choices we made, the directions we took, the pain, the happiness, the friendships, the love, they're all a timestamp. I just got a card in the mail from my grandma, my mom's mom, which, by the way, if you've ever, side note, if you've ever given me a card, have it. 99% sure I could pull it up somewhere of a whole toe of cards from since like my fourth birthday. So anyway, don't ever be afraid to drop a card in the mail. And I try to do the same. That's not the point. But my grandma and I, we call it snail mail, and I love it. She filled three pages with her writing a note to me. It was the best. But one thing she said was, Did you ever feel so overwhelmed with thoughts of things you want to do? And you want to do them right now? I can hear her saying this to me too, by the way. And then she noted her list and the things that she got done with check marks. And I am like, Yes, grandma, every single day I feel like this. But she is 80 years old, and what a reminder that we're always gonna feel this way, right? So it begs the question, and I am being a little dramatic, but what are we doing with our lives? Like, are we happy? Are we fulfilled with what happens from sunup to sundown? And if not, what can you change? I think realigning with values and making sure our prior and making sure our priorities are in order is something we talk a lot about at our house. I feel like every week, what do you want to accomplish this week? Or what do you want to do? Again, I'm not trying to say what you should do. I'm just giving you what we do. It's how we can create the meaningful time in our family to sit down and connect because we can't stop the years from moving, but we can choose how to meet them. So maybe today, take one moment to stop, look around, notice something small. Did you catch a glimpse of that sliver moon this AM? Oh my gosh, she's been real pretty lately. Did you notice the warmth of your coffee on the way to work or the school drop-off? Stay awake later tonight. Catch the sunset if you can. It's been good. Maybe get the sunrise tomorrow. That's also been good. They feel like in those moments when your house is quiet, you can really slow everything down and I'm able to have a better day because of that. Ferris Bueller said it best. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Let's not miss it. This one was short and sweet, not to take up too much of your time, pun intended. So go make it a great day, okay? Over and out.