Six words that will change your life with Dane Sanders

Dane Sanders is a leader! He’s the CEO of Tell Me Your Dreams and an in-demand facilitator for workshops across the continent. Fun little fact, we found out that we spent some of our early years in the same rural area that no one has ever heard of! Dane was a pleasure to chat with and you’ll be able to put his concept into play right away!

Here’s a glance at what you’ll learn from our discussion in this episode:

• The six words that will change the way you think about things
• How to make changes to your life and business quickly and with confidence
• How do we “get unhooked” so we can move ahead

If you can find out more about Dane Sanders and  Tell Me Your Dreams by simply clicking on the links

If you’re ready to transform your entrepreneurial frustrations into freedoms by cutting through the chaos and using frameworks that help you run an even better business and enjoy an even better life, simply go to:   www.Mohr.Coach

Take the free assessment on the top right-hand side of my website and we’ll set up a time to chat!

I'd love to connect with you on my social channels

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Are you looking to make some changes in your business and your life in 2024?  Head over to speaktopete.com and book a chat with me to see if we're the right fit!

Transcript

Dane Sanders  00:00

I'm going to give you two little phrases that might just transform your life. The point is simply, whenever you have a complaint and you're stuck, and you're just convinced life is wrong, just say life is wrong, up until now. And the reason you want to do that is you want to draw a line in the sand, you want to give yourself the freedom to be existentially honest, and draw the line. But don't stop there. In drawing the line, you then have a second phrase that you get to start a sentence and finish it. And the second sentence is from now on. So all of the things that were going wrong in your life might be so up until now, but from now on, who knows? Who knows what could open up?

Pete Mohr  00:45

Hey, it's Pete, and welcome to another edition of the simplifying entrepreneurship podcast helping you cut through the chaos of running a business and transforming your frustrations into freedoms. And today, I had the great opportunity to speak with Dane Sanders and Dane really brings it today with six words, up until now. And then from now on, and I'm really pumped really about what he has talked about and how he's going to help you through those phrases and what they can mean for your business and life as an entrepreneur as a parent and as a person. Let's get right into it with Dane Sanders. Dane Welcome to the simplifying entrepreneurship podcast. It's a pleasure to have you here.

Dane Sanders  01:31

Thank you, Pete. Thanks for having me on.

Pete Mohr  01:33

Yeah, and before we hopped on, we found we have some deep rooted Ottawa Valley connections.

Dane Sanders  01:39

Oh my gosh. And you get how how ridiculously rare like most people, I live in the US now and to get someone to notice a province let alone a city, let alone a county, let alone a town. And we know the same general store. Yes, ridiculous. We must must be related. I'm sure we are lady.

Pete Mohr  02:03

I was just saying I've snowmobile across Clayton Lake. Incredible. Yeah, it's so cool. When we when we get a chance to meet, have a couple of words outside of sort of normal business, how things can act. And it's great to be here with you and have you here on the on simplifying entrepreneurship.

Dane Sanders  02:20

So So appreciate, by the way, Pete, I not just appreciate you in this moment, and Clayton, but I appreciate what you're doing. I just so wish I had resources like this in my ears, especially early on, but like, like all the time, there's just we need encouragement, we need good voices, we need insight into how to navigate the complexity of business, it is for you to generously invite simplicity and clarity to that environment, man, you're giving a gift to so many. So thanks for what you do.

Pete Mohr  02:51

Thank you and I that those are very kind words, I'm really looking forward to our conversation. And what sparked the conversation was when we were on a webinar together not too long ago, at a conference, you sort of brought out this concept around, up until now and from now on and how we look and use those phrases within our leadership and our businesses and want to explore a little bit about that.

Dane Sanders  03:14

Yeah, I found both whether I'm thinking about life through the lens of me just as an individual person, or whether I'm leading a collective group of people, a team of some sort, it could be anything from a family to a big organization. Inevitably, challenge comes your way. And we are victim to life and circumstance. I mean, the entire planet was interrupted with COVID. A couple years back, obviously, and and when those circumstances happen, when our complaints show up when things just are not going our way. It's really easy to get caught in the drift of of life. There's one poet who called it, the whirlwind of being human. And when we're stuck in that whirlwind, and we're going down in a direction that we don't want to go. And we're kind of hooked into it, like we bought into the narrative that everything's wrong, bad and broken. How do we both hold the truth of our experience on the one hand, but also get on hooked from this nasty spiral that's taking us to the pit of hell. And I'm trying to paint a vivid picture because I want your listeners to like really get get into a moment and I hope I hope folks are actually tuning into an experience there. They've had recently maybe they're in the middle of it right now. And they they're interested in finding a way to be honest with themselves, but also hopeful. If that's you friend, and you're listening, I'm going to give you two little phrases that might just transform your life. These were gifts to me I didn't invent these. First time I heard it from was from a guy named Dan dakini. And I'm confident Dan stole it from somebody else. But the point is simply whenever You have a complaint and you're stuck, think a complaint about your partner or your kids or a client or a co worker. And you're just convinced life is wrong. Just say life is wrong, up until now. And the reason you want to do that is you want to draw a line in the sand, you want to give yourself the freedom to be existentially honest, and draw the line. But don't stop there. In drawing the line, you then have a second phrase that you get to start a sentence and finish it. And the second sentence is from now on. So all of the things that were going wrong in your life might be so up until now, but from now on, who knows, who knows what could open up, and just that that mental and linguistic trick of interrupting state of changing the channel of opening up a new lane to go, what it does, is it on a physiological level, it's just it's the same as like a kid whose like, picture a three year old in a grocery store, losing everything, and a good parent tries to talk to the kid, a great parent just picks the kid up and take him to another aisle. Because when the kid gets to the other aisle, they just relax, they change their state. And in a sense, that's what we're talking about, you have to interrupt state. And up until now from now on, has a potency and if if you don't believe me, if you're listening right now, I dare you to just say to yourself, mumble it into your breath, no one's listening. We're you're listening to us, we're not listening to you. So when you have a complaint about X up until now, from now on, what could be true? What could be asked her more true. And as you do that, you will see a new

Pete Mohr  06:37

reality. Yeah, I love that. And I mean, I love the visual, I'm a visual kind of person as well, I love that visual of drawing the line in the sand. And I can see sort of on the left hand side, this is where we were. And on the right hand side, this is where we're going. And I think that's the beauty of this when we can start thinking about the idea of a better future. Yeah. And, you know, the past is the past, the present is now what are we going to do about it in the future, and whether from our lives as a leadership perspective, whether that's our business, or our family, or the relationships that we have, or health or wealth, all of those buckets of life, as I call them, what have we done? Doesn't matter nearly as much as one, we're drawing this line in the sand, and we're saying, what are we going to do?

Dane Sanders  07:21

Yeah, I mentor to so many, and I'm one of them is Seth Godin. And Seth likes to encourage people to always ignore sunk costs, ignore sunk costs. And there's a kind of a business connotation for that. But there's also relational connotation for sure. And if you have a sunk cost, and by the way, the complaint can be not just about others, or your circumstances, that complaint could be about you. Maybe you've wronged somebody, maybe you are in a bad rut. And that's might be true up until now, but from now on, what could be Esther more true. It's amazing what can open up. But and if you don't mind, indulge me, I want to go one more step. Yeah. What if it isn't just someone else? And what if it isn't just you, but what if it's a collective? What if it's a group of people, like let's say you're leading a team or a family, and it just like we've been leading the charge going headstrong into the wrong direction, and you realize you painted yourself into a corner, you got no way out? Or it seems there's no way out. If you could just say there's no way out up until now. But from now on, if there is a way out, you're giving yourself a chance to see it. But you actually can't even see it. The more that you rinse and repeat the same old narrative that got you in that corner in the first place. Yeah,

Pete Mohr  08:34

I think that's a great framework and a great way to look at that. And sort of understand that the power of six words can transform it all. Yeah, I love that.

08:50

I'm excited to announce a new assessment on my website are you feeling like you're killing it in some of the areas of your business in life

Pete Mohr  08:57

as an entrepreneur yet maybe not up to your potential and a few others slide on over to simplifying entrepreneurship.com and take the assessment to see what you're excelling at. And some of the areas that you can put a plan together to work on so that you'll have an even better future. It only takes about 12 minutes and will open up some ideas to grow your business and entrepreneurial life you'll find the take the Assessment button in the upper right hand corner of simplifying entrepreneurship.com So take the assessment and start building your plan for growth Tell me a few other ways how you've used this phrase and how you've helped other people through and and some of the changes that they've made with the use of this

Dane Sanders  09:39

the immediate example that comes to mind are folks that let's say they have individual like health challenges, they're right or severely overweight or they have a bad habit with you know, drinking or or or smoking or, or spending or whatever their thing is, and they just feel so stuck like this is just the way it is Even that phrase, it's just the way it is. If you can say up until now, you open the door. And I think those practical applications, you know, I'm really stressed all the time. And I'm just always anxious, I'm always lonely. And I'm always well, up until now. And and it's not like it can't, it could keep extending if you want it to. But if you want to shift it, you're giving yourself a chance that that could happen by the phrase, as long as you pick up the second sentence. And it's kind of key, it's kind of a big deal. On the team level, it's kind of amazing to if you're leading a team, and they and folks have a legitimate gripe, and you're, you want to make sure that their space, like you're not being Pollyanna and pretending everything's awesome, when it's not, right, it's really helpful to say, look, we're going to put, we're going to start a timer, and we're going to run the clock for two minutes. And as much as you want to complain about everything, get it all on the table, just barf your lungs out right now, like get it all there, as long as you're willing at the end of it as a collective for us to say up until now. And then when that happens, you've had this kind of release, like it's like a muffler in a car, you gotta got all the smog out. And and now you can turn a corner and go. Okay, so now we're going to put air in the lungs instead of co2. If there was air to find, where would it be? What would it be? And it triggers possibility and curiosity in a way that physiologically we're stuck in this other lane before. And we just have a new open highway. Sometimes people on a team will say, Well, I don't know from now on i From now on, I don't know, if that's the case, I got a little bonus for your for your listeners. And this, I do this all the time with my kids. Oh, ask him a question. They say don't know. And I'll say, Well, if you did know, what would you know? And they kind of look at me sideways for a second. But almost every time they say I just said Dad, I don't know. And I said I know. But if you did know, what would you know, but oftentimes, they don't even have to say the second time. And they almost always have an answer, which tells me there's an answer to be had. There is a front, there is possibility. But oftentimes, it's just easier to cut it off, as opposed to do a little heavy lifting, and it's so little heavy lifting to get creative. So little I love

Pete Mohr  12:17

that answer and that question, because how many times for our listeners out there leading businesses? Have people come to you asking questions with that simple sort of retort. And then what happens is they don't ask you the questions anymore, because they already know they can find the answers, right?

Dane Sanders  12:34

Well, it's pretty thrilling if they get that far. It doesn't always happen that way. But I guess I just I so respect people who are willing to go that extra couple inches that most people won't, won't normally go.

Pete Mohr  12:49

Tell us a little bit about proactive mental health and all the stuff that you do with your business. Tell me your dreams, Dane.

Dane Sanders  12:57

Sure, yeah, I'll be brief on this. But you know how people are at work, and they're thinking about getting another job, or they're, they're just not bringing, they're all there, they're a little discouraged, especially if they're working from home, they feel a little lonely in their job, tell me your dreams helps organizational people's like team members, employees love their job. And we do that through a couple key initiatives. Most owners of companies they want to, they want to, of course, have a great healthy bottom line. But they also, if they're honest, they want to build a great company, where not only people are thriving, but so is the bottom line. And we have found that the reason people don't build great companies and they settle for making money, or trying to make money is they don't know how. And we have found that there's three ingredients, it's fostering the individual helping the individuals on your team thrive. Because when they thrive, they'll they'll move forward. Second, helping your teams be highly productive and engaged. And then third, really tap into people's dreams. And that might sound kind of odd or altruistic, even. But it turns out is highly strategic. But what happens is, most owners, they'll say things like I just want my employees to care about the business as much as I do. Which is such an unfair statement, because they're not owners. Yeah, rightly, what we try to suggest is, well, why don't you if you want your owner, your people to care about your dreams, maybe you should care about theirs. And when the employee begins to internalize deeply that you care as much about them as you want them to care about you. They transform, they discover a motivation and a drive they didn't know they had access to. And we have some mechanisms to do that, that are pretty effective. And it's been a thrill to actually watch the light bulb turn on for people and have them get after it and really help their team but really help themselves create meaning at work and ultimately, help people not just survive at work, but really thrive.

Pete Mohr  14:52

Such an important piece and that big one that is such a problem all the time is your people right and it's the one that keeps on owners are up at night worrying about what's going to transpire here and what's going to happen, and are they going to stay? And who are we going to hire and all the things around your people. And when you have a system in place, like the one you're talking about, boy, do things get better and alleviate so much stress from the entire organization that allows them to go ahead and propel and gain momentum. Right?

Dane Sanders  15:23

That's right. That's right. And, and honestly, like, what are we working for anyways? Like, even if we're not trying to create a world where individuals and groups flourish? What what are we doing? Even if we had all the money in the world, what would you spend it on? If we had it? I think we'd probably spend it on these things. So it is it's a, it's a thrill to be a part of this work. It's a total honor. And you mentioned the productive mental health thing. The way we do it is we offer it in seminars and workshops, individual work, the coaches that we hire are actually certified therapists. And we train them our coaching modality. So as people inevitably get under the hood of their lives, and increase their self awareness, we try to do that very responsibly. And it really fosters this super investment, we kind of Trojan horse mental health into the conversation, without calling it therapy. Yeah, but it's really not therapy. It's just therapeutically generous. And it gives people space to be real, but also get after it.

Pete Mohr  16:21

That's great, Dane, thanks so much. I really appreciate your words of wisdom here today. They're six great words. And I want you to repeat them again for all of our listeners, because when they get off this podcast, we want them to go ahead and think about one thing that they can use these six words on.

Dane Sanders  16:37

Yeah, if nothing else, at the end of every complaint, add the simple three words, up until now, and then follow up with the next three words from now on and finish the sentence you finish that sentence, you might just reset the entire trajectory of your day.

Pete Mohr  16:51

And I love that. I love that. Thanks so much for spending some time with me here on the simplifying entrepreneurship, podcasting. love to have you back sometime down the road.

Dane Sanders  16:59

Happy a pleasure. Thanks, Pete. Thanks for all you do.

Pete Mohr  17:04

Well, thanks so much for spending some time with Dean and I here today and think about how you can apply those six words up until now and from now on, what are you going to do to put it into action and think about what have you done up until now? And what are you going to do from now on, think about all of those different areas of your business that you can look at this framework and put in actionable steps to make a difference. Every quarter, we're looking at these things every year. We're looking at these things up until now from now on. Pretty powerful. Always remember clarity creates confidence and confidence ignites momentum. And I think those words are real clarity builders here today. So if you liked the podcast, please share it with your friends and subscribe to our simplifying entrepreneurship YouTube channel. I'd love your feedbacks in the comment section over there on YouTube, and will personally respond to each one. I'm interested to hear about future topics that you'd like me to cover or maybe having future guests that you'd like to hear from. You can help me out also by subscribing to the podcast on Spotify or Apple and rating and reviewing the episode on Apple by leaving us up to a five star review. If you like the podcast and would like to support it, I have a Patreon and patreon.com/pete Mohr mo HR where you can support the podcast at whichever level you like so connect with me on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, the links are in the show notes as well. Lastly, you can check out a little bit more about my coaching and systems on my website at www.mohr.coach .  And until next time, make it a great day

18:50

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