Life as an Exchange Student in the US

In this episode we hear from three of the 1000+ students that AFS-USA welcomed for the 2021-22 school year. 

Samira from Germany, Toby from Sweden, and Mira from Austria share about their host families, schools, and what life is like for a teenager in the U.S. These three teenagers have gained confidence, maturity, and problem-solving skills during their AFS program. 

They have also become cultural ambassadors, sharing their home culture with their communities in the U.S. And once they’re back home? They will be Passing Peace Forward, spreading messages of intercultural understanding across typical divides, to create a more just and peaceful world. That’s the #AFSEffect.

Guests: Samira Saduzei, Toby Bern, Paul Krzyzaniak, Mira Hargassner
Host with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/host
Contact us: podcast@afsusa.org

Transcript

Kate M.
Hello and welcome to The AFS Exchange. My name is Kate Mulvihill. The AFS Exchange is a podcast by AFS-USA where we open the door to hear from members of our AFS family. This is a place to have conversations, or exchanges, with AFS host families, students, volunteers, and educators.

During these exchanges, we will hear from our guests on how their lives have been impacted by AFS. What lessons have they taken away from their experience abroad, or their experience with hosted students in the United States?

[Music]

Kate M.
We thought it was time for an episode just focusing on host students. AFS-USA welcomed over 1000 students to the United States for the 2021-2022 school year. I talk to Samira from Germany, Toby from Sweden and Mira from Austria about their host families, schools, and what life is like for a teenager in the United States. We hear about how they’ve gained confidence, maturity, and problem-solving skills.

And in my interview with Toby, in the 2nd segment of the episode, there will be a surprise guest whose story highlights the small world we live in.

Kate M.
Now to start, I’m talking with…

Samira S.
My name is Samira. I'm from Germany. And I'm right now spending my year abroad in Arkansas.

Kate M.
Samira wanted to study abroad because she wanted to experience a new culture. Her parents are from Afghanistan and she was raised in Germany, and she was excited to explore life in another part of the world.

Samira S. 
And as well just understand the world a lot more.

Kate M.
She had heard some things about the US prior to coming here, of course. For example, US high schools as they’re portrayed in the movies. But also…

Samira S. 
So I heard that. A lot of people here eat fast food. And it's like a really big thing, a big deal here. And then I came here, it was true. It's more common that you eat out. But also, a lot of people told me that Americans are lazy and just sit in front of TV the whole day. And just like watching TV, and especially football, and I think it's kind of true. I don't think Americans are lazy, I think they work more, like sometimes they work a bunch, like 10 hours a day. Which is more than I think in Europe. I think we just have different definitions of work. But with football, that's true. Like a lot of Americans are just watching football and sports the whole day.

Kate M.
Well, not football, but Samira has participated in other sports while she’s been in the US.

Samira S.
Yes. I love sports. I love basketball. I played basketball here at my high school.

Kate M. 
That's cool. Had you played in Germany?

Samira S. 
Yes. Yes, I did in Germany, like for two years, but then I came here. I was so glad that my host family has the same interests. So that was really cool.

In Germany, we just have a club and you don't really travel that much. And the games, like almost no one came to our games. But here the whole school comes and it's a big deal. There are cheerleaders and all that. So it's so much fun here.

Kate M.
Basketball is an interest she has in common with her host family in Arkansas.

Samira S.
Oh, my host family. So I have a host dad, I have a host mom, also host brother who is one year younger than I am. And a host sister. She's one year older than I am. My host sister and I go to the same school, same grades. And yes, it's so much fun. I love them a lot. We share an interest in basketball a lot. We are really similar in the way we think and all that and it's just so nice to be around them.

Kate M. 
That's great. What, what sorts of activities do you do with your host family?

Samira S.
We often watch basketball, of course. But we often like to travel a lot. For example, we travel to New York or to Denver and we will travel in a few days to Orlando which is very exciting. We also often play card games and just talk a lot.

Kate M.
Nice. What did you think of New York?

Samira S.
I love New York. It was so much fun. They had really good food. Very good pizza. Pizza was really good. It was very impressive. I'm from Frankfurt. So that's very similar with the towers in New York. But I really enjoyed the food.

Kate M.
When Samira isn’t playing basketball, in school, or traveling with her host family, she does normal US teenager things.

Samira S.
Yes, we often go shopping at a mall. There's also a place called Dave & Busters or Fast Lanes where you can go play video games. That's a lot of fun. We also like to just go somewhere and eat ice cream. My host sister and my host brother- we love to go to Cold Stone. They have really good Butter Pecan ice cream. It’s so good. And we also just love to just go to some movie theaters. We watched Top Gun. It was really good.

Kate M.
Cold Stone Creamery is a chain of ice cream parlors. You can choose from tons of different ice cream mix-ins, and the employees will kind of cut together your ice cream on a cold stone- get it?- in front of you. A staple of many an American mall. Anyway.

Kate M.
Samira attributes this year to helping her grow in her communication skills.

Samira S.
I think I'm able to just approach people much more easily. I can just literally go to a person and be like, “Hey, how are you? Tell me something about yourself!”
I also think I improved my problem-solving skills. Because I had some challenges during my exchange year. And I just had to overcome them by myself. Because my natural parents aren't home. So I had to, like, look for solutions. Just approach people first, to try to solve that problem.

I have to just think I became more mature in general. I'm not the same person as when I came here. I'm just a completely different person. I think that's what every single exchange student can say about their exchange year. When I'm talking to friends in Germany, I can kind of seem sometimes more mature in some things than they are. Because I lived without my parents when I was 15 or 16 years old for 10 months.
And I just think all those skills- like communication skills, problem solving skills, social skills- they’re going to impact my job and my future. Those are skills you need for jobs, those are really good skills.

Kate M.
At AFS-USA we like the slogan “Pass Peace Forward” I asked Samira what Pass Peace Forward meant to her.

Samira S.
You can also Pass Peace Forward with kindness. So many people here are like, they're so nice. They're like, always, “How are you doing? Hello, thank you, how's your day been?” And I'm not used to that in Germany. It’s not like the German people are mean, it's just a different culture. And they're just different. Well I will go back to Germany, and I'm just gonna smile. It’s going to be “How was your day?” with every single person. Because I love how Americans really care about each other.

Kate M.
Samira believes in the power of intercultural exchange to combat prejudice.

Samira S. 
I think there's a lot of prejudice in the world. A lot of people have prejudices here about German people.
I gave a presentation here about Germany and one person said, I asked him Do you have any question at the end of the presentation, they were like, “Are all German people Nazis?”

Also in Germany a lot of people think all Americans are lazy And I think those prejudices can also hurt a lot of people. As an exchange student, you can, you can serve as a cultural ambassador and just like, represent Germany here and tell them about the real Germany.

But then after your exchange year you go back to Germany and tell them about the US. How if it's true, if it's not. And, for example, me, I'll take the positive energy I get from those American people here every single day.  I'll take it back to Germany, because those people here are so friendly, and I'll just bring it back to Germany.

Kate M.
You know, this is what we talk about at AFS when we talk about being a Cultural Ambassador. As an exchange student in the US, you are taking the cultures of your home country, community, your family… you’re sharing those with your community in the US.
And after your exchange program, you will take what you’ve learned from your time in the United States and bring it back to your home country. You will be able to dismiss false stereotypes about the US, and share the stories of the people you’ve met. There is not just 1 way to be an American, there are millions. And as a cultural ambassador, you can provide a dose of reality to the image of American life that is portrayed on TV and in the news.
I asked Samira what advice she would give to future AFS students in the US.

Samira S. 
Just be open for anything or everything. Try new food. Just, if a person asks you to go out with them, just go out, you will enjoy the time. Also, just try the activities. For example, softball, if you don't know what softball is, it's like a sport here in the US- try it out. You’ll probably like it.
Just be open, have fun and enjoy every single moment of your exchange year. And just also don't compare your exchange year to other exchange students because every single one is different. Every single person experiences different things, and everyone has problems. But AFS is all there to help you.

Kate M.   
And I think this is really good advice. Especially just looking at social media, for example, people are just going to post the highlights of their exchange year and the fun things and the fun activities, and they may not show necessarily “Okay, well, I had a fight with my host brother or I'm failing math” or something like that. They just kind of show the fun things.
One more piece of advice from Samira.

Samira S.
Look at me, in two weeks, I'm leaving. And the time just went by so fast. And if there's something like you want to do, and you're like, Mmm, I don’t want to do it… Just do it! Because at the end of the day, time goes by so fast. Just enjoy every single moment.

Kate M.
Well, thank you, and I hope you enjoy these next two weeks in Orlando. That's awesome. That's gonna be a lot of fun.

Samira S
We're going to Disney. So I'm going to have fun.

Kate M. 
That's great. Well, have a great afternoon and have a great rest of your program! 

Samira S. 
Thank you.

Kate M.   
Have a good afternoon.

Samira S. 
Have a good afternoon. Bye.

Kate M.
That was Samira from Germany, who spent her exchange year in Arkansas.

Kate M.
Now, we are going to hear from Toby from Sweden.

Toby B.
Hi!

Kate M.
Toby spent her exchange year in Wisconsin.
I actually reached out to Toby directly after seeing an article online written about her and a teacher from her school. We’ll hear about that- and hear from them together- later in the interview.

So, Toby knew she wanted to study abroad after hearing stories of many family members who had valuable experiences outside of Sweden.

Toby B.   
Both of my siblings went with AFS, my sister went to Indiana, and my brother went to Australia.

It was very clear from a young age that I was going to study abroad. Since my dad has done it, his brothers have done it as well. And it's such a great experience. For a while I was thinking about going to France. Although I don't think my French skills would allow me to do that efficiently. I know they would have been great after that year. But I wouldn't be able to understand as many of the cultural differences as I would in a language that I know better. So it was pretty clear early on that I was going to an English-speaking country. And my sister had such a great experience in the US that I was like, “Yes, this is where I'm going.” And I ended up in a great place.

Kate M.
And she ended up in a place not too far from where her dad spent his year abroad. Like many students- exchange students or not- Toby was nervous on her first day.

Toby B.
Oh, I was so nervous. Like the first few days of school I remember being like, “Oh, where do I sit at lunch? And like when I walk into a classroom do I stand by my chair first until I sit down? Or do I just sit down? Do I talk to people? Am I quiet?” I don't know. It was really nerve-wracking. But exciting. Like, if I could relive my first day of school again and again. I would. I definitely would. And that's where I met my first friends, and now I feel like I couldn't live without them.

Kate M.
Something else that was new to Toby in the Untied States…

Toby B.
The Pledge of Allegiance every morning… nobody told me! I didn't know what to expect. Suddenly everybody was standing up and facing the back of the classroom. I was like, Oh, what's going on? But I caught on pretty quickly. It was just those couple of few days, like the very beginning where I was like, I'm not even sure what we're doing.

Kate M.
In addition to the pledge, Toby remarked on other differences between her US school and her Swedish school. At Plymouth, she has the opportunity to take a much wider variety of classes.

Toby B. 
I take a lot of classes that I can’t take in Sweden. So since this year doesn't count for me academically, I have signed up for many art, choir, and those kinds of classes that I can’t take in Sweden. Because in school, we have just academics. All other kinds of extracurriculars or ‘fun classes,’ those you take outside of school.

I think my favorite class is Choir class. It's so nice, because I've never been able to sing in that way. And I feel like my singing has gotten so much better. It's really fun.

Kate M.
Plymouth High School hosted 10 AFS students last year. In addition to Toby from Sweden, there were also students from 9 different countries.

Toby B. 
And it brings so much to the community here. And also like, for me, I've been learning so much about other cultures as well, through them. So this year there's such a diverse group. I have met people from South Africa, the Philippines, Suriname. It's all over the place. And it brings my experience here. as well as that of other people here, to so much more than I could have ever expected.

Kate M.
So, how I said that I would introduce someone else in this interview? Well this is Paul Krzyzaniak, a physics teacher at Plymouth High School.

Paul K.
…First of all, Kate, my name is Paul.

Kate M.
One day a few months ago, Paul was standing in the cafeteria during lunch.

Paul K. 
Toby came up and talked to me in lunch that day.

Kate M.
Toby didn’t have Mr. K as a teacher, and they hadn’t met before.

Paul K.
She asked me, you know, what's your first name?
I said, Paul,
She goes, what's your last name?
Krzyzaniak.
And then she was like, “Well, my dad says hi.” And initially, I was thinking, you know, her host family dad, and I'm like, “So your host dad?”, and she's like, “No, my real dad.”

And I had never thought… I've been teaching at Plymouth for over 30 years. And we've had lots of AFS students that I've met throughout the years. And we've had other ones from Sweden and I had never thought about the fact that one of those students could be from my high school friend that I had.

And so all of a sudden, it just all sudden, I got this rush of emotion as I was looking, I'm sure at Toby with a blank stare. Like “What do you mean your real dad?” and then all of a sudden it hit me. I just looked at her and I'm like, “You mean to tell me your dad's name is Mats Bern?” And she gave this big grin. And she's like, “Yep.”

I mean, it was just a mind blowing event for me. You know, 30 years of emotions came back, because it's been over 30 years since I've talked with Mats.

I was just walking on cloud nine, the rest of the day, I just couldn't think about nothing but how this event happened, and how shocked I was.

She instantly took a picture of us, and she sent it to him. And when I talked with Mats, he said he started crying when he saw it. And it was just kind of the same emotion that I had. It's just so cool to reconnect with someone that you haven't seen or talked with in over 35 years.

Kate M.
So, before leaving Sweden Toby received some papers in the mail about registering for classes.

Toby B. 
Everything was such a rush when I had to pack up. So I kind of just left the sheet on the table when I left.

Kate M.
A few months later…

Toby B.
I got a text from my dad. And he says, “Is there a Paul Krzyzaniak teaching at your school?” And so I asked my friend, my best friend, Sophia. And she says, “I think that’s a physics teacher and a softball coach, I'm pretty sure. “

So I said to her, “Okay, can you show me who that is?” And she pointed him out in the cafeteria. And I was like, “Okay, it's now or never. It could be either the wrong person. Or it could be a fun conversation. And it might be a little bit awkward, but I'll take that.”

Kate M.
After Toby says hi and confirms that she’s talking to the right Paul Krzyzaniak, she says…

Toby B.
I think you knew my dad. And he was like, “Um.” And I said, like, “Oh, it's Mats the exchange student from… “what was it? The class of…?

Paul K.
‘82

Toby B.
‘82. Yeah. And he was like, his eyes lit up. And I was like, yup, this is the person.

Paul K. 
We FaceTimed about a week and a half ago. And it was a Sunday morning for me. It was a Sunday afternoon for them, obviously, it's a seven hour time difference. But yeah, to sit and do the same type of conversation that we're doing right now with someone that's halfway across the world. And it was just such a great experience.
I had not met Toby's mom, Sara, and Mats had not met my wife Lisa. We ended up talking for about an hour and a half. And it was just so much fun to see him and to listen to him. And again, it just brings back all those great memories that I have, you know, from us being together for that year at school. They are planning to come to Plymouth in June to visit Toby’s host family. But obviously now that I'm here, you know, part of that is going to be time for us to be able to spend time together as well and to reconnect.

Kate M.
By the time you listen to this, June will have passed. When I asked Toby about what she will take away from her time in Wisconsin, this is how she responded. I hope it still holds true!

Toby B.
I will never say water fountain again, I will say bubbler because that's the Wisconsin thing. And it's just now it's just coming out automatically for me. And I feel like I am a part of this community.

Kate M.
Yes, in case you did not know, in Wisconsin and randomly parts of New England they say ‘bubbler’ instead of ‘water fountain.’

[Bubbles]

Toby B.
In the beginning, I felt like I had to like, oh, twist and like, turn and listen in to make sure that I was fitting in. But now I feel like I've understood so much more. And that, of course, I always have more things to learn. But now I'm learning together with everybody else instead of standing outside and watching in.

Kate M.
It was great to hear about Toby’s year, and to chat with her and Paul about this coincidence of international proportions.

Paul K.
I'm glad we get a chance to share this story. I think it's a crazy way all this all connected together. But it's something that I think needs to be shared. And I hope people kind of enjoy how this all worked out.

Kate M.
Yes, with AFS, it’s a small world after all. That was Toby from Sweden, who spent her year in Wisconsin. Also, Paul Krzyzaniak, Physics teacher at Plymouth High School.

Kate M.
For the last interview of this episode I am talking with…

Mira H. 
So my name is Mira. And I'm from Austria.

Kate M. 
Mira is living in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. Before learning that she would be spending her AFS year in Ohio, she didn’t know a whole lot about it.

Mira H. 
I didn't know that much. Like, when I read about it, I obviously looked it up. And I know that my grandfather told me that there's the Cleveland Orchestra and it's really good. If he was really excited about that.

[Orchestra music]

Kate M.
Mira went on exchange because she had always wanted to travel and see new places.

Mira H. 
I thought to myself that if you go somewhere as a tourist, it's very different than actually than to live in a place. And that's why I wanted to do an exchange in general. And then I just, I just thought of the US as kind of, because it's always portrayed in the movies, and I wanted to see what it's really like.

Kate M.
And Mira’s classmates had preconceived notions about Austria as well. Or… something like Austria.

Mira H.
Um, yeah. Many people mentioned Australia instead of Austria.

Kate M.
So… Austria and Australia, not the same thing. Australia is the country / continent in the south Pacific Ocean.
Austria, however, is a country in Europe that is about the size of South Carolina.

Mira H. 
Sound of Music, definitely. Everybody mentions Sound of Music. Some people mentioned Motzart or schnitzel.

I tell them that actually, barely anybody watches The Sound of Music. I've seen it, but many people haven’t. And also that it's like, not all mountains and small towns and snow everywhere. Where I live we get snow, maybe like one or two times a year. And only very little. I live close to Vienna. But it's not all mountains. It's not all snow. And it's not all lederhosen and dirndl.

Kate M.
One of the first things that Mira noticed was that we make a lot of small-talk here in the US.

Mira H. 
Um, so the first thing that I noticed was that people make a lot of small talk. And that they ask you, “How are you? How's your day?” even. And I was so confused when it first happened. Because I guess people in Austria are very dry compared to American people. Or not dry, but they take longer to warm up. And that was really confusing. Like a guy walked past us on the street and said, “Hi, how are you?” And I was like, “Who was this? Do you know him?” to my host family.
But, I kind of got used to it, I guess. And then the other thing is that everybody is super open and friendly. And it's like, “Yeah, we're friends you should hang out.” Which is really sweet because it's easy. It's easier to make friends than it would be in Austria.

Here when I have a few conversations with somebody, I call them a friend. But in Austria, it takes a few months to really call somebody a friend. And you usually have less friends because of that. And then you have a lot of acquaintances. But yeah, but then it's also American friendships are sometimes a little less. Like my friendships here, are a little less deep, because I haven't known them for that long. And because I have more. While in Austria, I literally know everything about all my closer friends.

Kate M.
In addition to Mira hanging out with her friends in Cleveland, she also spends time with her host family.
She has two host patients and two siblings.

Mira H.
I live with two host parents and two host siblings. My host siblings are nine and six. So they're really small. They're really cute. I get along with my host family very well with all of them. I've never had any issues or big fights, none of that. And, yeah, we get along so well. They're like a second family almost.

Me and my host parents play their kids stuff, like playing tag, hide and seek, video games. And my host dad, we watch a lot of movies at night together. Which was kind of fun. We have, me and him, we have the same humor basically. So we like to joke around a lot, which is nice. And with my host mom, I often go work out in the gym and we get coffee after.
Um, so my host mom is Thai. So I've had a lot of Asian food which was really cool. My host dad loves to do barbecues. So he has the American barbecues with ribs and brisket and everything. Which sounds good. So I'm like, I just like food. Doesn't really matter what.

Kate M.
And Mira doesn’t really miss any food from home, except…

Mira H. 
I would say candy and chocolate. I feel like in general in Europe, the chocolate is kind of better than here.

Kate M.
I think that’s a pretty common option.

Mira H. 
You can't really compare it.

Kate M.
Mira has taken away a lot of skills from her year abroad.

Mira H.
Definitely independence. Although I'm living with my host family and they support me, I still learn to do a lot of stuff on my own. I always keep my own room. I always do my laundry. If there's any problems, I try to solve them by myself, like with documents or flights. I feel like that independence really got created because I just had to, my parents weren't there anymore.
And also just a lot of personal development, and I think it can be very inspiring for myself, but also for other people to maybe travel more and see other places and meet new people.

Kate M.
Her advice is…

Mira H. 
I would say just stay open, talk to people, like, don't be scared to talk to people. Everybody's super friendly. And people love meeting exchange students. Everybody was like, “Oh, my God, Your accent is so cool.” Just try to not be scared. Although it is scary. It is scary. But just try to kind of shut that out.

Kate M.
That was Mira from Austria, who spent her AFS year outside of Cleveland, Ohio.

[Music]

Kate M.
Well, I hope that you’ve learned a little bit about the lives of AFS students here in Arkansas, Wisconsin and Ohio. How they have gotten involved in their high schools, how they spend time with their host families… Also, how they’ve shared their home cultures with their new communities in the U.S.
Once they’re back in Germany, Sweden, and Austria? We know they will be passing forward AFS’s message of intercultural understanding and combating harmful stereotypes.

[Music]

Kate M.
Well, thank you for listening to The AFS Exchange! I’m Kate Mulvihill. 

We will be taking next month off of The AFS Exchange to focus on… finding host families for students arriving this fall! Are you interested in hosting a student with AFS? Head over to afsusa.org/host to learn more about what it means to be an AFS host parent! In addition to families for the full school year, AFS is also looking for temporary families who can welcome students at the beginning of their stay. 

We will be back in August. Keep an eye out. And let us know what you thought of this episode by sending a message to podcast@afsusa.org. You can also rate and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can subscribe there as well! 

This podcast was created by Kate Mulvihill. Social media by Julie Ball. A thank you to our guests and to Pat Gafney for getting us in touch with Toby and Paul.