6 years ago, Fen left Bangkok, Thailand to begin his AFS year outside of Houston, Texas. In this episode, Fen shares his insights on his exchange year with 6 years’ worth of distance. He shares the skills he took away from his time in the US, and we hear his advice for future exchange students.
In honor of AFS’s 75th anniversary, The AFS Exchange is releasing 4 episodes this month! That’s 4 times the stories of the impact AFS has had over the years.
Guest: Fen Namwat
Study Abroad with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/study-abroad
Host with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/host
Contact us: podcast@afsusa.org
6 years ago, Fen left Bangkok, Thailand to begin his AFS year outside of Houston, Texas. In this episode, Fen shares his insights on his exchange year with 6 years’ worth of distance. He shares the skills he took away from his time in the US, and we hear his advice for future exchange students.
In honor of AFS’s 75th anniversary, The AFS Exchange is releasing 4 episodes this month! That’s 4 times the stories of the impact AFS has had over the years.
Guest: Fen Namwat
Study Abroad with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/study-abroad
Host with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/host
Contact us: podcast@afsusa.org
Kate M.
Hello and welcome to The AFS Exchange. I’m Kate Mulvihill. In honor of the 75th Anniversary of AFS, founded in 1947, we will be releasing 4 episodes this month! That’s 4 times the stories of the impact AFS has had on the lives of its participants over the years.
And yes, if we think about 75 years of AFS exchange students… host families… volunteers… sending families… that’s a lot of people. There’s also the friends that students make while on program, their connections with their teachers and other members of their community… How many lives have been affected by AFS at this point? Really? It’s in the millions. I can’t get more exact than that, because there really is no way to measure it. But I’m glad I get to hear a few of them, and share them with you!
So, what’s the goal of AFS? Passing Peace Forward. AFS empowers people to become globally engaged citizens by delivering meaningful intercultural experiences. AFSers help create a more just and peaceful world. And they’ve been doing it for 75 years now!
[Music]
Fen N.
Hey! How’s it going?
Kate M.
Hi!
Fen N.
How’s it going?
Kate M.
I want to say good morning, but it's not. It's not morning. Good evening. Hello. How was your day?
Fen N.
It's great.
Kate M.
So to kick off this month of stories, I am sharing an interview with Fen Namwat from Thailand.
I guess we can get started. Could you please introduce yourself and tell me where you're from?
Fen N.
Hi. My name is Fen. I am from Thailand.
Kate M.
Fen came to the US in Fall of 2016. Actually, the day we talked, it was a special anniversary for him. We spoke 2 days before his 6 year anniversary of departing Bangkok, Thailand for Houston, Texas. That was 3 flights.
Fen N.
And now we’re recording this podcast, so this is sort of like a memorable moment to look back on. So I'm glad to be joining you here today at our interview.
Kate M.
Fen was placed in Sugar Land, Texas. And what did he know about Texas before coming on program?
Fen N.
Cowboys! Cowboys, for sure. I think that's the main thing that I thought about.
Kate M.
Did you ride a horse at all while you were there?
Fen N.
No but I went to see the rodeos and no, not that. I went to the ranch and stuff. So basically, I saw people with, you know, the horses and stuff.
Kate M.
You never ended up riding a horse to school?
Fen N.
No, no, that’d probably be against that health insurance policy?
Kate M.
Yeah, yeah. Well, great. And so what were your first impressions of the United States and of Texas when you got here? Like, what do you remember feeling right away?
Fen N.
Right? Um, I was in Fort Bend County. And Fort Bend County is considered to be one of the most diverse counties in the United States, I'd say top 10, I don't know what it is right now. But once I realized that, oh, it's very diverse. So that's, that's what sort of gave me a real picture on how diverse America is.
Kate M.
So yes, Sugar Land is in Fort Bend County, which is one of the 10 most ethnically diverse counties in the United States, as of the 2020 census. What does that mean? Fort Bend county comes closer than almost any other county to having an equal division among the nation’s four major ethnic communities- Asian, black, Latino and white residents.
Every AFSer’s experience is going to be different. Students coming to the United States aren’t able to pick which city or state they’re going to live in. Are there many students who apply to AFS-USA with hopes of getting placed in New York City or Los Angeles? Yes, there are. But… that’s not where most AFS students end up spending their exchange year. They live with families in Texas, Arizona, Wisconsin, Maine, Pennsylvania, and pretty much every other US state, including Alaska.
AFS students could be placed in small towns with not a lot of racial and ethnic diversity. In these cases, they may stand out more as “The Exchange Student.”
AFS students could also be placed in highly diverse areas, where they might fly under the radar a bit more.
In addition to not standing out as “The Exchange Student” when he was walking down the hallways, Fen’s good accent in English was also sort of a hindrance at first.
Kate M.
Your English is very good. You speak very well, I don't know how much of that is AFS, but you speak very well, just to say.
Fen N.
Thank you. And one thing I want to say is, that was what made my exchange year very hard. Now, this might sound weird, but that's the truth. Because when I talked to my coordinator, they said Fen, you need to tell other people that you're an exchange student, because they can't distinguish you, among other people. When they don't know you're an exchange student, they start giving you assignments. They start, they start treating you like native speaking people. But that's the problem because my vocabulary was bad. I didn't learn English for a very long time. So that's basically a challenge for me to sort of adapt. You know, I think that I had challenges in my own ways. And also, other exchange students also have their challenges in their own ways, as well.
Kate M.
So as you were talking about how Houston and its area was so diverse, you're saying that you were kind of read as someone who’d been here for years and years and years, you didn't just get off a plane. So it was making the distinction between “No, my family lives here now” versus “I just got here.”
Fen N.
That's right. That's right. And that's the challenge. That's right.
Kate M.
Were there a lot of other exchange students in your area?
Fen N.
Yes, there were exchange students in Houston. Actually, more than 20.
Kate M.
Okay, that's, that's a good size. What sorts of activities would you do together?
Fen N.
Well, during that time, it was before COVID and a lot of things now are done via Zoom, right. But okay. And back then we would have to travel but that was the highlight because physical proximity is very, very, you know, intimate. You meet with people, physically, you engage with their activities. For example, like AFS used to have gatherings. Just like a dinner gathering, Halloween party, Christmas party. That was what made all the exchange students come together. And I think that's the highlight for an exchange student is that you get to know your friends.
We are different from other people like in our schools because we come to America alone. You know, without our natural parents, and we're like 16 17 18. Coming from that sort of start gives you an understanding of how your friends are. Because when you, you're gonna go through the stage where they say, you know, you're gonna be homesick during Christmas, you want to go back home, you missed your parents, you miss your dog, you miss your cat, but the only person or the person who would understand your situation, it would be, you know, your friends who came from another country, or if your host parents was a former exchange student, that would also help.
Kate M.
Fen spent a lot of time actively reflecting on his program, how it was going, while he was still in Texas. Every day he would walk his host family’s dog and use that time to process how he was feeling.
Fen N.
Going on an exchange really gave me time to reflect on myself. For example, I'm in Thailand, I'm a very active person back then. But as soon as I went to America, number one, you're there a lot. Now. I mean, like your parents is not with you, your natural parents is not with you. And you know, number two is your acquaintances. Like your friends from middle school or from primary school. There's no one there. It's basically like you starting over in this different community.
So my host family had a dog and I was very attached to that dog. And I would walk her every evening. And I would say that was what really changed my life. I come from the capital city, so it's very crowded, there’s a lot of things going on. But where I stayed… it's tranquil, it's peace, it's calm.
So the more you do that, the more you have, you know, you, there's thoughts flowing into your mind, like, oh my gosh, I've been here for like, five months already, I'm going back soon, what do I do with my friends, you know, there's that thought process of you growing, to be like that stronger version of yourself or a better version of yourself. Because, you know, at some point, you're gonna look back, and you're gonna be so proud that, oh, you've done this, you've done that, you know, you've made a lot of valuable connections, you have a place in the hearts of the people you know.
And then that weird place will start to become like your home, you're gonna feel attached. Saying goodbye was what made me really stronger. Because my host mom said, transition happens all the time in life. You just have to accept it, you know, and I learned that nothing's permanent, everything changes. And that was my cycle of life as an exchange student. So really just walking the dog every evening, really had that thought process flowing. And then, you know, it's sort of gave me a life philosophy, I'd say. So yeah, that was, that was one thing that I don't think I would get in Thailand, no.
Kate M.
Fen mentioned three of the key skills he took away from his time on program. Critical thinking, engaging with his community- wherever that may be, and learning to be with himself.
He shared with me that a big highlight for him was dinner conversations with his host family. Through his program he had 3 different host families, which gave him a more well rounded picture of what an American family can look like.
Fen N.
Well, number one is critical thinking, I guess, because like I said, engaging in dinner conversations with your host family was really a brain exercise. I think that, sure, you could engage in sports, you could do that. I mean, that's also good. I mean, every single person has their own favorite activities. You know, for me, I thought that really learning with the people close to you, you know, people who you're staying with, how, what are they? What are their thoughts? What do they think, you know, like, share with me about your life experiences and try to challenge your thoughts like, how do you know this thing is right, what is right, what is wrong? How do you know that thing is wrong? You know, those questions that sort of, that you can pick up when you engage in conversations with them. So I think critical thinking really sort of shaped, you know, I learned a lot from that.
Kate M.
And number two, engaging with the members of his new community.
Fen N.
Me coming from an Asian background… and I could say this on behalf of, I'd say a lot of Asian people, is that we don't talk to strangers. We don't go for a walk and then see a stranger and say, “Hi, how are you? Hi, how's your day?” and then just walk away.
Especially me coming from a capital city, you don't get that because everybody's just too busy doing their stuff. Going to work, getting back home, going through traffic. You know, it's very, very different. When you go there, you see how open the people are, you see how engaged the community is, you know, so. So that's what sort of like, what I perceive when I lived in the United States. How open the communications are.
I think that really helped me to come back when I was in college for four years. So basically, when I was at my dorm I engaged with the street food vendors that I had for four years, the barber, the dorm security. You don't see people do that. You don't see people talk to strangers that much. But as soon as I learned and picked up how to engage with the community, I don't think it hurts to just, you know, say hi, or like, how was your day? You're like, are you happy? Or or, you know, talk about life, talk about the rain, whatever.
So, I think that sort of changed how I was. And one of the things that I wanted to talk about on this podcast was that when you come on exchange every single day counts, because you're here for a limited amount of time. And I'd say this, that you're representative of your country, because you're basically coming from another country and you should engage with the people you know.
So I always put my days at 200%. That means if I had to do something 100%, I do it at 200%. And by this I mean engage with the people, go do stuff, just be that super active exchange student so that when you go back, you wouldn't regret the things that you didn't do.
Kate M.
And three, how to be with himself, prioritize himself, and be responsible.
Fen N.
When you're on an exchange, it's survival. For me, it's survival, you have to survive throughout the program. So you think about yourself like, Okay, I don't want to break the rules. Okay, my friends invited me to a party, should I go? Would there be anything that should be a yellow flag, red flag? You know, you sort of care more about yourself in a way that you've never thought about before. Because back in Thailand, you could basically do this and do that. But then you didn't think about yourself because life responsibilities were different.
Kate M.
So when AFSers are talking about breaking the rules, they’re referring to the big 3 AFS rules that are underlined at orientations: No drugs, no driving, and no hitchhiking. Yes, these have been around for a while and yes, some do get broken more frequently than others…
For Fen, it was a priority to leave a good impression on his host community.
Fen N.
Now, when you're on exchange, you have to sort of carry out your whole life through the end of the program, go back home safely, but at the same time, leave a good impression on your host family. Leave a good impression on your school, on your community, you belong to that community. So that one day when you come back, which I did, because I went back before I joined work, yes. And I did return back five years after everything was the same. You know, like I knew that when I returned, I performed so well that I had a place in their hearts, you know, people came from other cities to visit and stuff like that. So I think that was what really shaped me to be the person who I am today.
Kate M.
Can you talk a little bit about that? So you've been back to Texas?
Fen N.
I knew from the day I left, that this is not permanent. I'm going to come back, like, I am going to come back. I just don't know when. But I had to go through college for sure. I had to study, I went through law school and stuff like that. And I figured that after I graduate, if I jump into work, I'm not gonna have time to do all of this stuff. So I decided that okay, I'm gonna go back to the States, which I did.
So I went back, and my host family told me, “Was it really five years? Because it felt like only two.” And I'm like, you do have a point. Because if time went by really fast, you know, five years, and as soon as I went back, and I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't feel anything different. I mean, like, sure. I'm more adult now. I'm above 21. I can drink. But the people there, the community, even the teachers, they're still there. So going back to see them again was very heartwarming to me.
Kate M.
So the skills Fen picked up? Critical thinking, engaging with his community in Houston and other exchange students, and how to reflect and be with himself while on program.
So what advice do you have for other students from Thailand, or elsewhere, considering coming to the US?
Fen N.
I never thought that going to America was going to be very challenging for me, especially during the beginning. So I don't know how it's like for other people, but I think as Asians we are very family oriented. We have a lot of respect for elders. I'm not saying that other people don't, but I'm just giving you a picture. Of course, coming from an Asian background has a lot of attachments in terms of the family, you know. They're very polite, they’re respectful. And that's the challenge for a lot of Asian kids to go abroad. Because the mentality is different, you know, like, to let your kid go abroad alone. That's just not the typical thing an ordinary Asian parent would do. There's always memes on the internet, like, when a kid wants to go out, the Asian mom is gonna be like, “Who are you going with? When are you gonna come back? You know, don't come back late. Always be this, be that.” So there's basically that sort of vibe, I guess.
Kate M.
It was tough being away from his family, his friends in Thailand, and his Thai friends doing AFS programs in different parts of the world. Fen needed to rely on himself, but also the other exchange students on program in the US with him. This group really helped him get through his exchange year.
Fen N.
That's the challenge because when you go to another country, and I'm not saying in America, but I could say in any other country, When you're feeling down with something, you've been depressed, they're asleep, there it's 4am. In Thailand, you can't call back. Even you can't call your parents because they're asleep. So who are you going to rely on? It's basically your friends.
So the advice I want to give is that it's a life chapter. It's a life event. And there will be struggles during the program, that's for sure. But no one forced you to join the program, you volunteered to join it. So if you're going to back down and blame all this stuff, I'd ask, I would say you have to ask yourself first, like, why did you choose to come on an exchange program in the first place?
[Ding]
Fen N.
Life is not always like in the movies, you're not going to be that typical celebrity girl and all this stuff like that every single person has different experiences throughout their program, 50 states 50 experiences or more, in one state, there's so many cities.
Because there's so many things for you to explore. So, gotta keep an open mind to do the things that will occur. Sometimes you might do things that you don't like, sometimes you're going to miss home a lot. But I think that's what makes you stronger in the end, that’s what makes you become a better person, and who you will be.
[Ding]
Fen N.
What they say is an exchange year is not a year in the life, but it's a life in a year. Now, that word, there's a problem with that is because when you say it's a life in a year, when the year ends, you're gonna feel so hurt, you know, you're so tormented, because you're leaving your host country. And now you feel like it's home, because the whole life was in one year. And that's true. So for me, in order to deal with it means accepting the change, like you're going through that transition period, just like what my host mother said- transition happens all the time in life. So that life in a year would shape the person of who you will be in the years ahead. So the exchange year is a foundation that I would say that would shape you to be a better person and who you are for the days ahead.
[Ding]
Kate M.
So Fen’s advice for students considering doing an AFS program?
FIrst, ask yourself why you want to go on exchange…
Second, keep an open mind and try new things…
And third, accept that things will change! You’ve left your home country to come to the US, that’s a huge change. And then after nearly a year of living in a new community, forming connections, you will go back home. That is also a change. So see the year as a learning experience and accept that transition is a part of that.
Oh and and lastly, remember that your decisions have consequences.
Fen N.
I encourage them to take that opportunity, because you will not get that experience of being a 16-18 year old, going abroad alone. And then know that your decisions have consequences, not good or bad, but I'm saying in general, neutral, that they have consequences.That is the foundation that I would encourage exchange or future exchange students to participate in.
Kate M.
And then I asked Fen about the positive consequences of intercultural exchange.
Why would you say that intercultural exchange is important?
Fen N.
I think that now the world is more connected than ever, even more connected than back when I was an exchange student in 2016. We have Zoom now.
But that doesn't mean physical proximity doesn't matter. It does. So that's why I think now is a very critical and challenging moment for all exchange students more than ever, because we can't learn about other cultures just on YouTube or reading books. Sure, it gives you a perspective on one aspect. But like I said earlier, physical proximity, engaging with that exchange student, you know, that's just a unique experience.
And that's why I would encourage host families to open their doors, to accept exchange students to their house. When I left my host family, my host mom wrote me a letter, and she said, and I still remember her words is that ‘We thank you for being here, you have been a blessing to us and our family, and we owe you a huge hug and huge thanks for your time being here.’ That's the farewell note she wrote to me, and that wording was very touching.
Intercultural is not just about the society as a whole, but I think it's about intimacy, you know, the people, you know, connecting with them. I don't think you would have to be an exchange student and change the world. That's just too difficult. But let's start from something simple. Start changing from the people around you.
Be that person where they’re like, oh, I knew this boy or this girl who she was or he was on an AFS exchange program. He came from Colombia, he came from Chile, he came from Argentina, and that, really, really changed the way I look towards this country, that country.
I think that's the practical thing you can do rather than giving buzzwords like we have to change the world. Okay, how? Okay, for me, I'd say start by changing the communities around you, the people who are close to you.
Kate M.
So intercultural exchange… is more about intimacy than single handedly changing the world. Yes, I would say that would be a lot of pressure for a teenager- or anyone- to put on themselves. How about starting by passing peace forward in your community- engaging with people from different backgrounds than you, opening yourself up to seeing the world in a different way. Fen is a great example of this and I really enjoyed talking with him.
Kate M.
Thank you so much. Have a good day.
Fen N.
Thank you, have a great day. Bye bye.
[Music]
Kate M.
And that was Fen Namwat, an AFS exchange student from Thailand who spent the 2016-17 school year in Sugar Land, Texas. Fen is now working as a lawyer for a law firm in Bangkok.
So, fun fact, Fen is actually the furthest interview I have conducted- I am in Brooklyn, New York, and he is in Bangkok, Thailand- so about 8600 miles or 14,000 kilometers apart. But oddly enough, he is also one of the only guests I have ever met in person! It was just… 5 ½ years ago. Before the idea of an AFS podcast was even thought of. A local staff member got him in touch with me and I gave him a tour around the AFS-USA office. On AFS-USA’s Instagram you can see a picture from 2017 when I gave Fen a tour… and another pic I snapped while recording this interview!
[Music]
Kate M.
Well, thank you for listening to The AFS Exchange. I’m Kate Mulvihill. Remember, in honor of the 75th Anniversary of AFS, we will be releasing 4 episodes this month! That’s 4 times the stories of the impact AFS has had on the lives of its participants over the years.
Let us know what you thought of this episode by sending a message to podcast@afsusa.org. You can also rate and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe there as well! Season 2 of The AFS Exchange will bring you conversations with hosted students, educators, host families, volunteers, and more.
This podcast was created by Kate Mulvihill. Social media by Julie Ball. Editing support by Nina Gaulin.