The AFS Exchange

Hosting an Exchange Student: Insights from Host Siblings and Families

April 10, 2023 AFS-USA Season 3 Episode 3
The AFS Exchange
Hosting an Exchange Student: Insights from Host Siblings and Families
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Hosting an exchange student can bring a variety of benefits to host families, especially those with children, as it can change the way children perceive and interact with the world. In this episode we hear from several guests who have been either host siblings or host families with AFS-USA. Discover the benefits that hosting an exchange student can bring to your family, including teaching your children patience, compassion, and curiosity. Hear from our guests about their experiences bonding with young people from other cultures and the lasting impact it had on them. 

We will hear from two host fathers and their son about their experience hosting a student from Germany last year. Next, we will hear from a former AFS-USA student from Norway about his time becoming an older brother. We will then talk to one of his host brothers in the U.S. about his experiences having multiple host brothers from different countries as he was growing up.

Learn more about hosting and meet the types of students you could welcome at www.afsusa.org/host.

Guests:
Jim Walker
Ethan Taylor
Juan Carlos Walker
Erik Knutsen
Chris Kowalski

Study Abroad with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/study-abroad
Volunteer with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/volunteer
Host with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/host
Educator Resources: www.afsusa.org/educators
Contact us: podcast@afsusa.org

Kate M.
Hello and welcome to The AFS Exchange. I’m Kate Mulvihill. The AFS Exchange is a podcast by AFS-USA where we open the door to hear from members of our AFS family. This is a place to have conversations, or exchanges, with AFS host families, students, volunteers, and educators.

In this episode, we will explore the experiences of several guests who have been either host siblings or host families with AFS.

Hosting an exchange student can bring a variety of benefits to host families with children, as it can change the way children perceive and interact with the world. Connecting with a young person from another culture can teach patience, compassion, and curiosity. It can inspire children to grow up with an open mind and cultural awareness. It's an essential skill that will benefit them throughout their lives and allow them to connect with people of diverse backgrounds and cultures. Host siblings are also likely to study abroad themselves and develop a passion for understanding the world beyond their own borders. We hope you'll enjoy hearing the stories of our guests and gain insights into the impact of hosting an exchange student.

First, we will hear from two host fathers and their son about their experience hosting a student from Germany last year.

Next, we will hear from a former AFS student from Norway about his time becoming an older brother to two 8 year old twins. I will then talk to one of those twins (who is now in his 20s) about his experiences having multiple host brothers from different countries as he was growing up.

We hope the stories and experiences of our guests will shed light on the impact of hosting an exchange student, and encourage you to consider the benefits it could bring to your own family. Remember, hosting a student is not just a cultural exchange, it's also an opportunity to form lasting connections and broaden your perspective about the world.

[Music]

Kate M.
To start, I’m chatting with Jim Walker and Ethan Taylor.

Jim W.
Hello!

Kate M.
HI! Hey Jim.

Jim W.
This is Ethan.

Ethan T.
Hi.

Kate M.
Hi Ethan, I’m Kate. Nice to meet you.

Kate M.
Jim and Ethan were host parents to a student from Germany last year. Separately, I spoke with their son, Juan Carlos. Juan Carlos was adopted from Colombia a few years before Jim and Ethan hosted with AFS. Juan Carlos appreciated the opportunity to have a sibling to tease and play pranks on, while also gaining a deeper understanding of German culture and sharing his own Colombian heritage.

Jim W.
We have two kids, a girl and a boy. 17 year old son, Juan Carlos, and 15 year old Bella. And so we decided to welcome another teenager into the house. We hosted Till from Germany, a 15 year old, and it worked out great. I was sort of surprised that both kids were super excited about it. They looked at his profile and were interested in him and it worked out great. That's sort of I don't know, we have an extra bedroom in the house. And we said why not?

Kate M.
Jim and Ethan had already each had experiences that highlighted the value of intercultural exchange.

Jim W.
I was an exchange student in Indonesia, between high school and college, sort of as a fifth year of high school and I volunteered for a long time in the Washington D.C. area and in Michigan, and hosted short term. But we as a family had only had a student like for the weekend when kids from New York would come or a student was moving or something like that we hosted. But never for the intended, you know, longer term period. So we decided to try it.

Kate M.
Ethan had you had experience studying abroad or working abroad before?

Ethan T.  
I had. Both Jim and I were Peace Corps volunteers in Central America back in the early 90s. That's actually where we first met, we think. Jim served in Costa Rica and I served in Panama, again in Central America, but I also studied abroad in Spain, and I have traveled internationally for most of my adult life. So hosting an international exchange student just made a lot of sense, especially given the fact that our son is originally from Colombia, South America, we adopted him in 2019, when he was 13, just about to turn 14. And we had hosted him through a program called Kidsave the year before that for five weeks, so we got an opportunity to get to know him a little bit better. He got to know us. And then we proceeded with the international adoption paperwork and brought him home the following April of 2019.

Juan Carlos W.
Hello, my name is Juan Carlos. I was born in Colombia and I live in Silver Springs, Maryland.

Kate M.
Juan Carlos, as well as his sister Bella, welcomed in Till as a host sibling.

Juan Carlos W.
He was a nice person. He was a really good soccer player and also he was very smart.

Kate M.
I asked Jim and Ethan what they expected when they decided to welcome in an exchange student.

Ethan T.
Well, to be honest with you, I didn't necessarily know what to expect, Jim had had much more experience and exposure to exchange students, given his long tenure of volunteering, and now he's with the board. But I was going into this as a way to support Jim but also because I thought it would be a good opportunity for our two kids to be exposed to other cultures. So I was excited and a little nervous because we have a lot going on. And I wasn't sure how much more additional work it would be to host and have somebody live with us. And he wasn't just living with us like a renter. He was part of our family. And when we traveled together, we drove down to North Carolina and stayed with my family for a week. We vacationed in Key West, Florida together over Christmas, for example. So he was an integral member of our family, which I appreciated. I thought it was a great way to really get a full sort of idea of what it meant to have this sort of international exchange experience or opportunity. So I was excited about it. Albeit a bit nervous at first, but once we met Till we knew right away that it was a good fit, and that we didn't have anything to worry about.

Jim W.   

Well, I was really hoping that both kids would bond with Till and they really did. It was fun to see the three of them watching movies downstairs or playing video games together. Or even talking separately, you know, Bella would have time with Till and talk with him or go to 7-11 or walk around the neighborhood.

Juan Carlos W.  
We used to go to Sky Zone and jump together. We used to go out with my sister and his friend and my friend.

Kate M.
What is Sky Zone?

Juan Carlos W.  
Sky Zone is a place where you go and jump on trampolines.

Kate M. 
Oh, okay. Oh cool. Okay, so it's just like a bunch of trampolines and people are just bouncing around. Jim or Ethan also mentioned laser tag. Did you guys do some laser tag?

Juan Carlos W.  
We did it twice and we also did paintball.

Kate M.
Paintball. Okay. Okay. Um, how was it? How were you guys in paintball? Was he pretty good at paintball?

Juan Carlos W.  
And I was a little bit mean, I'm not gonna lie. But yeah, he was pretty good.

Kate M.
Jim, Ethan, and Juan Carlos all shared examples of pranks that they would pull on each other. One that stands out is when Ethan and Juan Carlos tricked Till into thinking he was late for school.

Jim W.
They told Till “Time to go to school, get up, get up” and he and Juan Carlos ran to the bus stop. Well, it was seven o'clock at night, instead of seven o'clock in the morning. He had taken a nap.

Juan Carlos W.
That was pretty funny.

Ethan T.
And I knocked on the door all frantic and said you gotta get up, get up, get up. And he looked at his watch, and it said seven o'clock. It was dark outside because it was in the winter, etc, etc. And I was down here making eggs and bacon for breakfast, pretending like it was breakfast time. And Juan Carlos got his backpack out, and they walked to the bus stop. And Juan Carlos said, Oh, I forgot my cell phone, ran back home and left Till there at the bus stop for the bus that wouldn't be there for another 12 hours. So it was kind of fun.

Kate M.
In addition to the pranks, Juan Carlos introduced Till to some Colombian food.

Juan Carlos W.
Yeah, we went a couple times to a Colombian store that is nearby here. And we used to eat empanadas, which is a famous snack from Colombia. We also used to, like, eat some chips and some food and he really liked it.

Kate M.
They took advantage of living close to an amusement park and a new roller coaster companion for Juan Carlos.

Jim W.
There’s a Six Flags so you know we go every once in a while. We got Till an annual pass and you know they like to ride Superman, the big roller coaster. Juan Carlos really likes that. So it was fun for him to have somebody else to go on that together with.

Ethan T.  
Because our daughter refuses to go on the roller coaster.

Kate M.
Okay, how about you two? Do you do the roller coasters?

Ethan T.  
Do you guys do the roller coaster because he has to do it or he'll tolerate it, but he doesn't. That's not his preference, but got it up on the merry go round, the swings.

Kate M.
The swings are a lot of fun.

Ethan T.
But one thing that I was surprised about with Till is just an addition to his English, but how sort of tuned in he was to international affairs and politics. He knew more about U.S. politics and Trump and everything else than a lot of students here in Montgomery County. We always hear about how Europeans in particular tend to be more literate when it comes to these sorts of issues. But I was really pleasantly surprised. He would rattle off names of famous authors and presidents and artists and things, musicians from the United States. He knows more about American music than I do, certainly. And I just thought that was very interesting.

Kate M.
How did he learn English so well before he came? Was he really into reading and watching TV shows and movies in English? Seems like he was pretty tapped in.

Jim W.   
While he took English in school for a long time in Germany, and then I think he took some other language I think he took maybe French and he said he wasn't so good at French, he had more interest in English, partly because, you know, you can listen to music and English and movies in English. And his family travels a little bit. So you know, that's one of the international languages so it was fun to watch him when he first got here speaking English, and he would struggle with some words and then by the time he left, he was just like a typical American teenager. Anything he wanted to talk about, he could rattle it off with Juan Carlos and Bella or any friend at school.

Kate M.
That's great. Did he pick up on any U.S. teenager slang?

Ethan T.   
He used to say bro all the time like all the kids do now, bro bro. Bro. Every other word out of his mouth was bro bro with a German accent so that was fun.
 
Kate M.
Other than Till's English improving during his year and his learning of the word bro, what other skills did you notice him gain throughout the year?

Ethan T. 
I don't know if confidence can be considered a skill, but yeah, definitely felt like he grew more confident with his language ability, but also just his presence within the family. I mean, he at first was, very, very deferential, and very respectful, and sort of just did whatever we asked him to. But then as he became more comfortable with us, he started acting like a typical teenage kid, his room was a disaster, you know, etc etc etc.
So in that sense, I guess, confidence for sure. But also just the comfort level, I noticed a big change. And in terms of his academic ability, he commented throughout the months he was with us, that the classes in the United States were much less challenging for him than they were in Germany. So I don't think he necessarily became book-smarter here, because he had taken a lot of the course material already back in Germany. Chemistry and Geography and Geometry, etc, etc. So those were some big observations I had.

Jim W.  
But yeah, it was, it was fun to sort of see him grow through this time and be more interested in keeping up the relations with us, making friends here in the U.S., and sort of being interested in the culture in the United States. Like he really loved the after school activities, he went to the homecoming dance. And that was really cool for him.

Ethan T.
He would often go into D.C. on the metro, and he would meet some of the other AFS exchange students in D.C., and walk around Chinatown or go to the museums or memorials or the zoo, or the monuments, whatever it may be. And he took a real interest in that instead of just staying home all day and playing on his phone or playing video games.

Kate M.  
That's great that he got involved, and that there was such a community there. The Capital team is pretty strong. And there's always a good number of students in the team. So that's great that he got to meet other fellow exchange students and kind of explore together and also commiserate when needed.

Jim W.
Yeah. And he made some good friends of the other exchange students like, there was another family that hosted two Sponsored Program students. And the family invited Till to go with them to the beach and throughout the experience they would do things together. So Till from Germany only got to experience life in the United States, and bond with us, but he bonded with students from India, Tanzania, and all over the world, which I thought was cool. And then in our team we occasionally have a Deaf student. And I don't think the exchange students ever think about, you know, they'll also maybe learn some sign language or be exposed to students that are Deaf or Hard of Hearing or a little bit different in those ways than they are. And so it's a huge learning experience for the students, for the host siblings, and for the host families.

Kate M.   
Absolutely. I mean, a student coming from Germany, studying in the United States with AFS. They're not just learning about American culture, they're learning about the cultures of all the other students in the team who they interact with and the thing about AFS and orientations, students are encouraged to share their experiences and I think that just adds a depth to the program. Absolutely.

Kate M.
So, in these interviews I often ask host parents “What was the thing that most surprised you?” about their hosting experience. This was the first time I received this as an answer.

Jim W.  
Well, I think the biggest thing that shocked us through this whole process, and it shouldn't be a shock, but you know, we're a same-sex couple and his parents and Till, they couldn't care less. They knew that we would take good care of him, that he would be in good hands. And there's a whole network of AFS activities that we have in Washington, D.C., where he gets to meet other students. So he was super excited to be with us to be in the area.
You talk about hosting a German exchange student, but he was actually a 15 year old boy that lives in Germany. Maybe that's what surprised me a little bit, because sometimes you think, wow, they're gonna be so different. But he was a lot like our kids. I think he ate pretty much all the food that we had here. And he seemed to fit in a well.

Kate M.  
So the surprise was kind of how little it mattered to him and his family that he was with the same-sex family.

Ethan T.  
It was a non issue and never even came up. I mean, it was completely irrelevant to the family structure, which was kind of refreshing. That's great. Thank you for knowing that, obviously, going into the experience that we were a same-sex couple. But again, there was absolutely zero concern on either end, this family came and visited after Till returned to Germany, they returned to the United States for vacation last July. And we threw a little party for the family, Till and his two siblings and their mother and father. It was just such a delightful experience to get to meet the family, we could sort of swap war stories and commiserate and that kind of thing. So that was a lot of fun.

Kate M.
I asked Jim and Ethan what they would say to same-sex couples that are interested in hosting?

Jim W.  
Well, I think people should ask about it, get think about it, or get more information don't just think because you're a same-sex couple that a student one wouldn't want to live with you because they do they want to experience what life is like for us and go to the local high school and do things together. And so it was really a non-issue for hosting Till for any of the volunteers for the organization. We may do it again soon. We’re talking about it but we're certainly still helping out with AFS in the D.C. area.

Ethan T.  
We have neighbors up the street. Two blocks from same-sex couple who are currently hosting an exchange student through AFS from Switzerland. And again, the fact that there are two dads and two other sons in the family, and now two Chihuahua puppies, means absolute. I mean, it means something to him, obviously. But the fact that they're same-sex couple is just a non-issue.
It’s been kind of nice, because I think Andy and Andrew got excited about the possibility of hosting because of their sort of observations of Till living with our family, and we had many meals together, we went back and forth to each other's houses, etc. So it was kind of a neat thing that they then, in turn, decided to host somebody from AFS in their house right up the street.

Kate M.
Absolutely. So, why is intercultural exchange important?

Jim W.
I feel like there's a lot of misunderstandings, miscommunications in the world. And if you know somebody personally, you will try to work out those misunderstandings. If you know somebody personally, you're not gonna jump to be angry at them for whatever reason, you're going to hopefully talk it through. I feel like if more leaders in the world would have personal experiences with Americans, maybe some of the issues we have in the world would be resolved or wouldn't be as extreme.

So, and I also liken it to, you know, both Ethan and I were in the Peace Corps. We speak Spanish, we learned Spanish by being overseas, and that opens up a whole realm in my mind, because I can communicate with people that maybe don't speak English, I understand the culture a little bit differently. And I understand the differences in economics. You know, in the U.S., we have a high level of standard of living. And now being in the Peace Corps, of course, we were there to help people that needed more economic development. And so cultural understanding happens through exchange, happens through communication, and it's an important part to, you know, promote peace in the world, I think.

Kate M.
So, AFS-USA's mission is "to empower people to become globally engaged citizens by delivering meaningful intercultural experiences that provide the knowledge and skills needed to help create a more just and peaceful world." As AFS-USA celebrates its 75th anniversary this year, I asked Jim and Ethan why they think this mission is just as relevant today as it was 75 years ago.

Jim W.
Again, we as Americans, don't often have the chance to interact with people from other cultures. And so having this kind of an exchange, especially bringing the student into our home is a great way to learn about that. And I love it, because our kids now think about another place, about Germany that there's, you know, another there's a person in Europe that knows them that they, you know, truly want to be around and love.

And the school too, I noticed that we talk about AFS to parents and teachers. And they say, “Wow, AFS is still around?” Yes,  it's still around. And we have an exchange student in this high school. And so we try to share that information that there's opportunities to host an exchange student, there's opportunities to go abroad, and there's tons of opportunities to volunteer.

Kate M.
Okay. Well, thank you so much. It was nice to meet you, Ethan. Thank you, Jim. And have a good afternoon. All right. See you later.

Jim W.  
Bye.

Juan Carlos W.
All right. Thank you. Bye bye.

Kate M.
That was Jim Walker, Ethan Taylor, and their son Juan Carlos. Till from Germany was a valued member of their family, and Jim and Ethan really appreciated how well he clicked with their children. While Jim and Ethan are the first same-sex couple I have spoken to for the podcast, they are absolutely not the only same-sex couple hosting students in the U.S. Across the country, many AFS students live with kind, caring, and supportive American families who also happen to be a part of the LGBTQ community. Last year there were 44 same-sex families hosting with AFS-USA. This year it is up to 50.

[Music]

Kate M.
Next, we have Erik from Norway, who spent a year in Ohio in the early 2000s. Our last episode, funny enough, featured a student named Erika from a nearby part of Norway who is spending this year in Ohio. This was a complete coincidence.

So, Erik from Norway took on the role of an older brother to two 8 year old twin boys, a role that was new for him but that he adapted well to.
During his stay, Erik had the opportunity to travel extensively, visiting 17 states and gaining a better understanding of the diverse cultures, beliefs, and values of the United States. He also had a profound experience visiting the 9/11 site in Manhattan, just weeks after the attacks.

One quick note, before we get started, there's a bit of a name overlap as one of the twins is also named Chris, but in this interview, we're referring to the host mother who is also named Chris.

Erik K.
So my name is Erik Knutsen. I'm 39. I live in the northern part of Norway above the Arctic Circle. So in the polar regions.

Kate M.
And where were you hosted in the United States?

Erik K.
So I was hosted in Cleveland, Ohio, or in a suburb of Cleveland, that is called Independence with only 8,000 people.

Kate M.
Okay. Could you talk a bit about your host family, what was it like living with your host family?

Erik K.
So, my host parents had two twin sons and they were turning eight that year. So, all of a sudden, I got young siblings. I had been raised in a family where I was the youngest one, and I had a six year older sister. So it was new to me to become like a big brother. And having someone else that was younger, that was more loud than I was in the home. But I came to a very warm and welcoming home and it was so easy, becoming a part of the family, because from day one, they were treating me as a member of the family. I was also their second AFS student. So they had already kind of been through it the year before with their first. So I think the kids were kind of just expecting the replacement of their new older brother. So they were so used to having someone else living in the house. So it was super easy, adapting to them.

Kate M.
So what activities would you do with your host family?

Erik K.
The twin brothers were really into sports. So whenever they had a possibility, they would go to a baseball game or a soccer game. So we went, or a basketball game. They were huge basketball fans as well and wrestling and you name it, everything. I think I've been to every sporting arena in Cleveland, at least, and many other cities as well. So that was something that we did. And me and my host mom, we also really love to go to the movies. So going into the movies was something that we did, probably once a week. And during this time, the Lord of the Rings movies were coming out. And I was a huge Lord of the Rings fan because I had read all of the books before. So being able to see that in cinema in the US. That was really fun.

I'm not a big sports person. So we weren't in agreement there. But kind of being in this, or joking a lot with each other. That is something I remembered, they hated being taking picture of, they would always do funny faces whenever Chris would try and take a picture of us and, and we, I kind of felt like we got a really, really brotherly connection, where they were always kind of like, nagging on me a little bit on getting to know stuff, or asking my comments. And then I would kind of tell them a joke or something that wasn't true. And they would believe it first, and then they got so mad afterwards when I told them it was a joke. So we kind of had this more big brother, younger brother relationship where we're teasing each other. In a way I feel that is where we had our strongest connection. Because we didn't have that much common interest but we were playing around monkeying around like they would probably say. They would be stealing my stuff or hiding things in kind of a brotherly love fashion.

Kate M.
And very, you know, if you grew up with an older sister that is very likely not the type of dynamic you had with her at all.

Erik K.
Right? No, but I could understand all of the sudden all of the things that I did to her and how she was feeling about it.

Kate M.
Yeah, lots of lots of new experiences when you go abroad, including, you know, learning what it's like to be an older sibling.

Kate M.
Erik had the opportunity to do a lot of traveling while he was in the U.S.

Erik K.
But my mom was also working at that time in a bank. With that job, she had to visit different parts of the bank throughout the country. And whenever she was going somewhere, she was usually driving. And if she was driving, she would ask me if I wanted to go along with her. So I got to visit so many places during my stay in the US. So I went to 17 states while I was there. I got to see a lot of the country and that was really all so amazing. And such an opportunity when you're living in the U.S. to really see so many of the cities and states.

Kate M.
Did any of the trips really stand out to you? Or were there any favorite states that you visited?

Erik K.
One trip is, of course, something I will remember forever. It's so easy to remember the year that I was living in the U.S. because this was the same year as 9/11. My birthday is September 12. Not the best day to have your one birthday in the U.S. during that time here.
We drove there on Halloween evening. And so we were probably in the city by the first of November. And just walking through that city and in the windowsills, there were layers of dust that were interesting.Truly amazing to see the devastation in such a city. I was never able to see the twin towers before they fell down. So sorry, I kind of never got to see the view like that. But seeing that the rubble piles, we got really close as well. Just a few months after this had happened, that was a strong impression.

Kate M.
That's incredible.

Erik K.
One of the last trips we had is also a trip I think I will always remember. We were going to drive out to Colorado to go camping out there. And Chris had a large van. When we're driving out there, we had so much camping equipment. I don't think we had room for anything else in that van.
And when we're driving out of the driveway, and we were starting on the route, the air conditioner broke. And it was the summer. So what we had to do is we were driving with the windows down all the time. And we had bags of ice cubes that were sitting in actually throwing at each other to kind of cool down. It was so hot driving out.
But once we came out there in the mountains, the air was cool and nice. I also remember driving on those roads, where it goes straight forward for hours and hours. And all you see on the sides are cornfields. That's also quite amazing to see how flat and straight the middle of the U.S. is.

Kate M.
Absolutely. Yeah.

Erik K.
But once we were out there again, we were living in these huge tents. And of course, Chris had even brought pancake makers. So these big trays where you can fry pancakes. I think we had everything we had everything. And then just sitting around the bonfire with the kids making s'mores there were so many chipmunks. So we were fighting with the chipmunks all the time for the food and that. It was such an amazing experience going kind of like this rural camping quite different. Getting into the mountain range a little bit more like I probably felt at home with that sort of scenery, mountains colder air but also being out in nature and just hiking everyday with the kids and my host mom. That was a really really nice trip.

Kate M.
This past January, host mother Chris and host brother Chris went to Norway to see the Northern Lights and to see Erik.

Erik K.
I guess Christopher had the opportunity to kind of go almost anywhere in the world. And he said he wanted to see the northern lights. So then my host mom said, Okay, there's one place in the world, you have to do that. And that's my city. But it's really funny now to see the two eight year olds, in their mid or late 20s, they're starting to become successful business people and, and really are growing into adults. So getting a new relationship with them, because they understand also so much about the things that we're talking about because of their family way of living. So we can always talk about how that will be a common thing.

Kate M.
Erik returned to the United States years later as a researcher.

Erik K.  
So when you're working in the research field, it's very common that you do a research exchange. So I was working at a cancer center that is called MD Anderson Cancer Center as part of the University of Texas. It's ranked as the world's leading cancer hospital. So at that hospital, I was then working on multiple different types of cancer. My main project is on breast cancer. That's what I'm studying here in Norway, trying to understand how cancer cells are spreading throughout the body.
But when I was working in Houston I also was able to get to use core facilities that we could only dream about here in Norway. You had service people helping us and assisting us with all of our research projects.

Kate M.
I bet. That's great that you had that opportunity, though, right? To not just see what it's like to go to a high school in another country after knowing high school in Norway, living it in the U.S. after doing research in Norway, you get to see the way that people do things here in the United States, that's great. That must have been a really valuable experience.

Erik K.  
I think also my high school exchange really made me prepared for what was coming. So I knew the culture. I knew the type of shops, I knew how to get around and how to behave with people. So nothing of this was kind of felt foreign to me, I felt in a way that I was coming back to a place that I already knew. And that was a nice feeling, being able to navigate through society from day one. In a way, I don't think I would have been able to if it hadn't been for that high school exchange. And I think that also made me probably more prone to going back to the U.S. instead of because we have the possibility to kind of go to almost any country that we want. But I chose to go back again to the U.S.
You also know that you have such good research institutions, and it was so easy for me to think, yep, a year in the U.S. That's easy. And I think all of that is due to the exchange I had before.

Kate M.
Okay so it is the 75th anniversary of AFS-USA. Why do you think its mission is just as important now as it was 75 years ago?

Erik K.
So I really feel that the exchange program is so important for us to be able to learn about the other cultures, but also to kind of feel that they are our extended family and with having families in different countries. The whole idea behind this exchange is to create  peace between nations. And in order to have this peace we need to have an understanding of who the other people are in their culture.

Kate M.
Between the traveling Erik did while an AFS student, and his time based in Houston, he has seen a lot of the country. As a result, he has gained a better understanding of the diverse cultures, beliefs, and values that can be found in the United States.

Erik K.
For me, who has lived in the U.S., I can totally understand why Trump would be elected in a whole different way than someone that had never been to the U.S. or someone who doesn't understand the huge differences in demographics in the States.

Many people only know about the U.S. also from the perspectives of the media with New York City and California. But there's so many other things to know about the States that you wouldn't know unless you had been there and probably lived there in order to understand the culture. So you can put everything that is happening in the country in a whole new perspective by understanding their culture. So it's, today we're seeing things happening in Europe that we have never seen in many, many years. So it's just highlighting, again, the importance of us as humans, being tolerant of each other. And the best way of doing that is knowing your neighbor, you wouldn't like to go to war with your neighbor, if you know them properly, and you understand them. So AFS was started after World War II. We're seeing some horrible things in Europe and in the world today. So I kind of feel that this year or last year, the mission became even more important.

Kate M.
That was Erik Knutsen of Norway, who spent his AFS year outside of Cleveland, Ohio. Erik formed a deep relationship with his host family, including the 8 year old twins. We are actually going to now speak to one of those twins- Christopher, or Chris, Kowalski.

Chris has been a host brother many times over. He  and his twin brother David quickly got used to having another brother around, usually to mess with. They learned a lot about different cultures thanks to these experiences. As Erik mentioned in the last interview, Chris and his mother went to Norway to visit him and see the Northern Lights just a few months ago!

So, fyi, this interview with Chris- from February 2023- is actually the first full interview I have done in person for the podcast. Yeah, like over 50 interviews done via Zoom! Anyway, here’s Chris.

Chris K.
Yep. So my name is Chris Kowalski. I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, which is where we hosted most of our exchange students, but I'm currently living in New York, getting my MBA at NYU.

Kate M.
Nice. How long have you been at NYU?

Chris K.
So I started school in 2021. I graduate this May of 2023.

Kate M.  
Wow, almost done.

Chris K.
Yep.

Kate M.   
Congrats. Couple of months left.

Kate M.
So Chris, how did you first hear about AFS?

Chris K.
So I guess I first heard about it when I was probably like seven years old. And we had hosted Reno from Indonesia. And then my mom had kind of also briefly talked about it because she was an exchange student in Barbados, but that was kind of like my first interaction. I think the full year hosting experience was six times. So four while I was in primary and middle school. And then two, while I was working full time in Philly. So it was actually a little bit less of an interaction that I had with Kosuke and Mint.

Kate M.  
Okay. Do you have any siblings of your own?

Chris K.
Yep. So I have one brother. We're actually twins. And then we're both living in New York City right now with each other.

Kate M.  
Oh wow. So you grew up with a brother, a twin, I'm sure is a very special relationship, but just one brother. What was it like introducing other family members from different countries into that dynamic?

Chris K.
I think especially when we were young, like I remember being pretty shy so I think it was hard to kind of really open up and like get to know the person when they first got here. But then like, as soon as we kind of, like, spent a lot more time with them they really became part of the family. It was kind of like an older brother, despite us being like in primary school and him being in high school like he felt a lot bigger brother. But then they’d still make time to kind of play like video games or like sports with us. It was kind of like a true big brother experience.

Kate M.  
What did you think it would be like to have a host sibling before they arrived?

Chris K.
Yeah, so I don't really know if I had expectations because it was kind of like randomly, I think my mom, like, called us into the kitchen, like, kind of put three names in front of us. And it's just like, pick one. So we didn't really know much about what was gonna happen. I think really the big thing was we just kind of thought, originally, somebody was gonna be staying with us for nine months. We didn't really understand they were actually going to be part of the family and eating dinner and spending time together.

Kate M.
Were there any things about your host siblings that really surprised you? For good or for bad?

Chris K.
Yeah, so like, I guess, like, the biggest one was how much they kind of lived their own lives, but they would still make sure to spend time with me and my brother. They all kind of really came in here and tried to fully immerse themselves into the American culture, as opposed to being always on their phone, with friends back home or family. And then it's like you've never really become part of the new family. And it's not like the best way to get the most out of an exchange experience.

Kate M.  
So you mentioned that you went to Chicago and saw a lot of Starbucks. Were there any other trips that you took with your hosted students?

Chris K.
Yeah, so we used to go out west every year when we were growing up. So we have a family. I guess they've moved now. But we had family in Utah and California. So we would always do a West Coast trip, or we would go from like, Utah to Vegas, LA and then somewhere else like along the way. We've done the Grand Canyon, San Francisco with host siblings.

Kate M.
That's great that you've been able to show them so much of the United States.

Chris K.

I guess one experience with Rino when we went to Canada. And we got in pretty late at night. And then the next morning he went to go bring in the cooler and then couldn't find the car. And we realized that our car got stolen while we were in Canada with all the passports in it. So it was a pretty interesting experience. Us being U.S. citizens, it's easier to get back in the U.S. but him being on the exchange program where you go to like the Indonesian Embassy to kind of try to figure that out. And I remember, I guess it was like a Komodo dragon and the entrance and like being like seven years old though. It's kind of cool seeing like the replica Komodo dragon, which is kind of pretty interesting like cultural Indonesian.

Kate M.  
That's, uh, that sounds really unfortunate. Yeah, you're here now and he was obviously able to get back and then leave again. But um, that sounds terrible. 
So you've had host siblings from a number of different countries. Was there anything that's really stuck out to you about, you know, facts or things you've learned about different cultures, different people?

Chris K.
Yeah, so a couple of them. So like, I guess, one big one was Greg, who was from Hungary, like how big soccer actually is outside of the U.S. like I remember playing all the time in the front yard with him. I remember Erik from Norway who would kind of tell stories about that there's no blue M&Ms in Norway.

Kate M.
Why?

Chris K.
I think it's like, actually, like a health thing. The dye that's used in blue M&Ms is not gonna be good for you.

Kate M.
Who knew?

Kate M.
To clarify, there are blue M&Ms in Norway, they’re just made with a natural dye instead of Blue #2 which is what many companies here in the U.S. use here to color food.

Chris K.
He would always kind of talk about that. And like how people were, cross country skiing all the time. And how Sundays are a day to go outside and get a sense of activity. And so he would talk about how like those people cross country skiing. And like when I went to Norway, and this past January to visit him, like I kind of saw that firsthand. People as young as five or six cross country skiing out on the open roads.

I remember what Erik how he would kind of talk about like, like in Norway, like they were trolls like living in new bridges. And like, if you go to Epcot and ride the Norwegian ride, that's kind of like a staple and like a centerpiece of the Norwegian culture that they experience. So being like, pretty young, it was kind of like, interesting to just hear stories like that. Like a whole Santa Claus or fantasy type thing that you go through.

Kate M.
It’s like a myth that they have?

Chris K.
Yeah.

Kate M.  
So you did say that you just got back, or you went to Norway last month? Last January? Was that your first time there?

Chris K.
Yeah. So it's actually my first time in Europe. So yeah. So like, a lot of people travel during business school, because it's like your last time to before you get back in the workforce to kind of go off and like you have a lot of free time to do stuff.
I've always wanted to see the Northern Lights. Erik, who stayed with us, was from Tromsø which is actually one of the best places in the world to see the Northern Lights. So within a weekend my mom Facebook messaged Erik, and we got the trip planned. Booked airfare, then we stayed with them for two weeks. And we actually saw the Northern Lights three times.

Kate M.  
Wow. That's also pretty lucky, I feel that people will take a trip up to, you know, the northern part of Norway or Finland or Sweden and not see them at all.

Chris K.
Yeah, so my mom was saying that it was her fourth time there. And the first three times she had not seen them. So it's like you need a combination of solar activity, and then clear skies. You can predict solar activity but you're always trying to move around to get the clear skies.

Kate M.
What advice do you have for families who are considering hosting an exchange student?

Chris K.
I would say the biggest thing like you don't, you don't need a teenage sibling to kind of have a good experience like we did when we were like seven or eight. Now that me and my brother are out of the house, my mom still kind of hosts on a short term basis. I think the biggest thing is that you can make a lifelong friend out of it. Because like, for example, I went back to Norway probably 20 years later to visit.

Kate M.
Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us. Thank you for coming down to Wall Street.

Chris K.
Yup, thanks for having me.

Kate M.
That was Chris Kowalski, a host brother many times over through AFS. Growing up with host siblings Chris and his twin brother about the world outside of Ohio, and created lifelong friendships. 

Hosting an exchange student can be a life-changing experience for both the host family and the student. As we've heard, it can provide a unique opportunity for the whole family to learn about different cultures and gain a new perspective on the world. Connecting with someone from a different background can teach patience, compassion, and curiosity. Host siblings can inspire your children to grow up with an open mind and learn lessons that are not often found in a classroom.

We hope you enjoyed hearing the stories and experiences of our guests and have learned a bit more about the impact of hosting an exchange student. Did the stories shared in this episode inspire you to consider welcoming a student into your home? Check out afsusa.org/host for more information. There, you can learn more about the students from over 80 countries coming to the U.S. this fall. You can search for students who are specifically interested in sports or in the arts, you can also look for students who are vegetarian or who like to spend time outdoors. If you are interested in hosting a student from a certain part of the world, you can filter for specific countries as well. That is afsusa.org/host.

[ Music]

Kate M.
Well, thank you for listening to The AFS Exchange! I’m Kate Mulvihill. Let us know what you thought of this episode by sending a message to podcast@afsusa.org. You can also rate and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe there as well so you don’t miss any episodes in this 3rd season.

This podcast was created by Kate Mulvihill. Social media by Julie Ball and Nina Gaulin. Special thanks to Christina Kowalski. 


Jim Walker / Ethan Taylor / Juan Carlos Walker
Erik Knutsen
Chris Kowalski