Mert Özer from Türkiye and Ann Ford from New Jersey are halfway through their year together as AFS exchange student and host mother. Living in a home with two very active dogs, they share an appreciation for music.
From afar, they may seem like a unique pair. Mert is blind and Ann was born with a hearing impairment. But this has not stopped them from forming a close relationship.
Tune in to hear about Mert’s experience in New Jersey, and the new experiences he has had on his AFS program- including dancing, living with dogs, and attending shows at Madison Square Garden!
Mert is a participant on the U.S. Department of State’s Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange and Study Program (YES Program) which partners with Mobility International USA (MIUSA) to support exchange students living with disabilities.
Guests:
Mert Özer
Ann Ford
YES Program: www.yesprograms.org
MIUSA: www.miusa.org
Host with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/host
Volunteer with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/volunteer
Contact us: podcast@afsusa.org
Mert Özer from Türkiye and Ann Ford from New Jersey are halfway through their year together as AFS exchange student and host mother. Living in a home with two very active dogs, they share an appreciation for music.
From afar, they may seem like a unique pair. Mert is blind and Ann was born with a hearing impairment. But this has not stopped them from forming a close relationship.
Tune in to hear about Mert’s experience in New Jersey, and the new experiences he has had on his AFS program- including dancing, living with dogs, and attending shows at Madison Square Garden!
Mert is a participant on the U.S. Department of State’s Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange and Study Program (YES Program) which partners with Mobility International USA (MIUSA) to support exchange students living with disabilities.
Guests:
Mert Özer
Ann Ford
YES Program: www.yesprograms.org
MIUSA: www.miusa.org
Host with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/host
Volunteer with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/volunteer
Contact us: podcast@afsusa.org
Kate M.
Hello and welcome to The AFS Exchange. I’m Kate Mulvihill. The AFS Exchange is a podcast by AFS-USA where we open the door to hear from members of our AFS family. This is a place to have conversations, or exchanges, with AFS host families, students, volunteers, and educators.
Kate M.
In today’s episode we will be talking with Mert Özer from Turkey, who is spending this year with AFS-USA in New Jersey, living with host mother Ann Ford.
Ann has hosted a number of students through AFS over the years, in addition to hosting exchange students, Ann enjoys spending time with her two dogs, seeing live music, and voyaging into nearby New York City. Something else about Ann? She was born with a hearing impairment.
Mert has a passion for music. Composing music, writing lyrics, and singing- both in Turkish and in English. He also plays the piano. Something else about Mert? He is totally blind.
So, how does a host mother with a hearing impairment and an exchange student who is blind cooperate to have a successful AFS year?
Honestly… pretty easily! As you will hear in this interview with Mert and Ann, they have quite a rapport and are very dynamic. We spoke for over an hour, and the two of them spent much of the time laughing and playfully teasing each other.
We will hear from Mert and Ann about their relationship and their shared love of music- I will be including some covers from Mert’s instagram and Youtube throughout this episode. Ann not only supports Mert's musical endeavors but also encourages him to step out of his comfort zone, like getting him to start dancing!
In December, Mert participated in a musical revue put on by his high school, where he performed a choreographed dance on stage with his classmates while singing! He credits Ann with giving him this sense of confidence. The two of them are even starting ballroom dancing classes together!
So a little bit more about Mert’s year in the U.S. He is a participant on the YES Program, or the U.S. Department of State’s Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange and Study Program. This program brings high school students to the U.S. for an academic year to advance the U.S. foreign policy goals of promoting civil society, youth leadership development, and lasting ties between Americans and the people of participating countries. All YES Program participants begin and end their years with orientations in Washington DC.
The YES program also partners with MIUSA, Mobility International USA, a nonprofit that advocates for disability rights and leadership globally.
In August, after Mert’s YES orientation in Washington DC and before meeting Ann in New Jersey, Mert flew to Eugene, Oregon, for a workshop with 22 other exchange students with disabilities. This five-day workshop included volunteering opportunities, exploring assistive technologies, a ropes course, and a tour of a local high school. You can learn more about the work MIUSA does at miusa.org.
Also, before we start the episode, I wanted to put out a little request. As we finish up the 3rd season of The AFS Exchange, we would love it if you could rate, leave a review, and/or subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. This will make it easier for other people to find us, so that more people can hear about the impact that AFS is having on the world. You will also be the first to hear once the show comes back for its 4th season!
[Music]
Kate M.
So officially, Mert and Ann are my only two guests for this episode. However, there are also some four legged friends who make an appearance.
Ann F.
You go first.
Mert Ö.
So I’m Mert Özer coming from Turkey.
Ann F.
I'm Ann Ford, and I'm Mert’s host mom, and I'm in Oakland, New Jersey. And if you hear bells, do you hear bells? Because of our dogs. We have a golden retriever puppy and a maltese and there are bells for him. Right. So there could be playtime and a lot of bells going on. So there we go.
Kate M.
Mert, did you grow up with dogs? Or is this a new experience?
Mert Ö.
It's my first experience ever. Because in Turkey, growing up, like we're not being grown with them, like the dogs or something like that. So. But it's a really, really good thing to have. Like, It's my sisters. They're my sisters.
Ann F.
Okay, yeah, yeah. It was something that he was quite nervous about before coming. Coming to a single placement and a single placement with dogs.
Kate M.
The golden retriever, Nellie, is younger but much larger than Erin, the maltese. Yet it’s the maltese who runs the show.
Ann F.
I try to do a visual, a description of everything that goes on. I feel like I'm a sportscaster. Right, “Erin has jumped off the bed. And she's chasing!” And he's just, he can't wrap his mind around that size does not matter. It's all attitude. And Erin has not a tooth in her head. But she will chase Nellie. And she bites her face. And he’s like, I just don't get it. Because she's 10 times the size. But Erin is the dominant and the master. And for someone who has no concept, it's a very, very strange thing. He’s like, “You got to tell me what's going on. What's going on?”
Mert Ö.
Yeah, I was really curious at first and yeah, it's almost impossible to watch. They're fighting because they're running, running, running.
Kate M.
So you really are practicing, Ann, as if you are retelling what's going on in football?
Mert Ö.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, really fun. Yeah.
Kate M.
Mert chose to study abroad in the U.S. because he wanted to push himself academically, and also have opportunities to work on his music. He also hoped that here, there would be better systems in place to support someone who is blind. We will definitely talk more about Mert’s interest in music- an interest he shares with Ann- later in this episode.
Mert Ö.
So I'm into music, I'm playing piano, I'm singing. And I’d really love to be really, really good at music, as well as academically. So I felt like the only way that I could do it would be to go to another country that has better possibilities for me. Because in Turkey, I encountered a lot of not good situations. Some teachers, you know, they just didn't know how to teach someone blind or something like that.
So I had a lot of friends that I know that studied abroad. And then that was a thing that I wanted to do. Also I will say I'm into some coding stuff.
Kate M.
I asked Mert if there was anything that really surprised him about the U.S., and he said… that there really wasn’t too much.
Mert Ö.
So American culture is really popular. So there were not a lot of surprising things for me, because I was living in Turkey and I had access to the internet. So I pretty much knew everything, like not everything, but like, every general thing that a standard tourist knows.
Ann F.
I keep on saying knowing things and experiencing them are two different things.
Kate M.
However, he really didn’t know what to expect when meeting Ann for the first time.
Mert Ö.
But like, then not a lot of things that make me surprised about America. For now, okay. When you talk about my host mom, yeah, but about America, no.
Kate M.
Okay, what about your host mom surprised you?
Mert Ö.
I've never seen a woman like her before. I'm not exaggerating.
Like, the first day that I got home. I was happy. But at the same time, I didn't know what to do. Like the dogs, the bells. I was so overwhelmed. And she was like, you know, she was never surprised.
Kate M.
So once you finally got from Turkey, to Washington to Oregon to New Jersey, and you met and I guess this is a question for both of you. What has it been like living together?
Mert Ö.
First you.
Ann F.
Well he's number eight. Right?
Kate M.
Right, but he’s one of a kind, right?
Ann F.
One of a kind. He's my first boy.
Kate M.
Okay.
Ann F.
And he's blind. And I was nervous because I was born with a hearing impairment. And I've never really forewarned any of my other kids, because if you look at me, then I’m okay. But for him for a while, I'm thinking, how are we going to do this? Because he's not going to know if he's looking at me directly.
So, I was nervous about how we would communicate. You know, and it's been, it's been very interesting. It's fun. I don't think we've really had any major issues. You know, some minor accommodations in the house, nothing major, like ceiling fans have things hanging from them, so he can find them. Take down side lamps, but nothing, you know, I don't think of him as my blind host son. I think of him as my host son.
You know, like funny things. Like last night, I was explaining a blind date. He was like, “What!” I was like “No, it’s if you haven't met someone.” I mean, so there's so many of the little things that you just go, oh.
Or, we spend a lot of time talking every night. And he's like, “You have to be saying something. So I know you're still there, right?”
Mert Ö.
Then because she's sometimes looking at her phone. And then, I'm saying something really long or important. And I said, “Oh, did you hear me?” And she says, “No, I was not looking at you.”
Ann F.
It's learning and you kind of figure out, you know, I don't change where things are. And if I do, if I'm washing the kitchen floor, and I move stuff, I tell him. Otherwise, nothing really that different than having any other kid. And I think, you know, people go, Oh, isn't that so nice? You took a blind kid, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay. So, you know, and I think that we're at that point with the school as well, that they're like, Okay, you know, that was blind. Initially, it was like, Oh, my God, we've never had a blind student. Now. It's like, ah, you know.
Mert Ö.
I think the school is gonna be way better for the upcoming blind kids, if there's any new ones. So I'm the first one. And the second blind student is going to be experiencing a way better, maybe, school environment.
Ann F.
I don't know way better, but an easier process in the beginning.
Mert Ö.
Yeah, especially with the aide.
Ann F.
You know the saying, you're killed by love. You know, and that's what they were doing initially with him like, oh, you know, what, they had someone with him all day and, and everything. He's not learning, because someone is taking that ability away, because they're so worried about him getting lost or falling. And, you know, he had to prove himself. And now he is completely independent.
Mert Ö.
Yeah.
Kate M.
So Mert is attending Indian Hills High School in Oakland, New Jersey, a school that has welcomed in many AFS students throughout the years. At the beginning of the year, there was an aide who accompanied Mert all throughout the school day. This was more support than he needed. While the school had the best of intentions, Mert felt that having someone around all day could sometimes feel like an invasion of privacy.
So, Mert took it upon himself to advocate before the administration. He articulated his needs and successfully got the thumbs up to navigate the school day independently, without having an aide around.
Ann F.
He went to the school and he said, Listen, give me a chance to do it class by class, do two or three classes a day, do a half day, do whatever, let me. If I get lost, if I fall, whatever, I will have the aide.
And so there was a month or so that the aide was within the building all day, and except for gym class, never did anything. The teachers never called for the aide, never needed the aide. So he had to prove himself.
Mert Ö.
It makes me so sad. Like I was really really having a hard time with that. Like, imagine that you're talking about a secret you're doing something like not you know, you're hanging out with your friend. Like, I don't know, it's just it's just not not it was not feeling me good.
Kate M.
Between school, home, and the community, Mert is very independent. Over the course of these past few months, much of the learning has been on the part of others… how to work with someone who has a disability, and how to avoid making assumptions about what accommodations- if any- they are going to need.
Ann F.
I mean, he is very independent around the house. Yeah, it's great. It's overall pretty easy. I mean, it's teaching. It's teaching others.
You know, I, as nicely as I can, will tell people, let him do it. You know, people like, oh, we went to a barbecue. Oh, does he need a seat? No, but I'll take one…
Kate M.
Mert, normally, I will ask, what have you been able to teach folks about Turkey and that part of the world, but it seems like, based on what we've talked about a lot, so far, you've been doing a lot more educating on? What is it like to interact with a person who is blind. Yeah.
Mert Ö.
Yeah, so I made a presentation about my country, I made a few presentations. I talked about my, you know, YES Program, AFS scholarships, and what it's like to be in Turkey. You know, what kind of food they're eating. But it's not that interesting. Like, when you because when a lot of kids can research about it? And then I'm not, you know, there are eight Turkish guys in our school, so I'm not that interesting.
Ann F.
Not exchange students, we just happen to live in an area that has Turkish people.
Kate M.
Oh, wow. Okay.
Ann F.
How you navigate your education, your education difference between here and there. You know, you're changing classrooms here. In Turkey, you're not. In Turkey, you're being read your education and testing is as good as the person who's reading the test. Here, it's online. And he has technology, the Commission for the Blind, rocks it out. His caseworkers are amazing. His physics teacher learned braille. Teachers in school here learn braille, because he was so interested in him. They found tactical devices and they contacted the commission. And the next day they'll bring up different ways that he can feel, maybe graphing or something. And not only does he get to experience that, but maybe the kid who doesn't, you know, totally get physics can feel it too and can get it. So the tactical devices, the support from the state organization, the technology that he has here. I was like, that's interesting to people, how you navigate and listen to voiceover to learn.
Kate M.
So, tools for folks who are blind or have low vision. To start, Braille. I’m sure our listeners are familiar with the concept of Braille, but for a quick overview… It allows individuals to read using their fingers on one or both hands. It’s a combination of raised dots arranged in a 3 x 2 matrix cell, representing letters and punctuation based on the Latin alphabet.
In Grade 1 English Braille, each letter has its own corresponding cell. In Grade 2 English Braille, a more advanced shorthand incorporates contractions for common words like 'very,' 'which,' 'will,' 'enough,' and prefixes such as 'be-,' 'dis-,' and 'con-.' This makes for quicker reading, and fewer pages.
Mert's first language is Turkish, which also employs the Latin alphabet. The basic cell structure remains the same between English Braille and Turkish Braille, such as the raised dot in the top left for the letter 'a.' But, each language uses different contractions.
So, in addition to learning to speak English before coming to the U.S., Mert also had to learn some basics in English Braille.
Other tools for individuals who are blind or have low vision? To name a few… screen reader software for computers and screen reading capabilities on most cell phones. There are Braille keyboards which enable note-taking in Braille. And as Ann mentioned, there are tactile graphics- so raised diagrams or images that can convey graphical information through touch, allowing blind students to comprehend charts, graphs, geometric shapes, and diagrams. And of course, many people use white canes, which help users scan their surroundings for obstacles and changes in terrain.
Anyway, hope you learned something new! Back to Mert and Ann. Ann is interested in music, and enjoys going to shows in nearby New York City as well as locally in New Jersey.
Ann F.
You know, I really want to introduce him to different types of music and he has never been to concerts. And we went to see Billy Joel and then we went to Bocelli last week.
Kate M.
Wow!
Ann F.
Someone said, was Bocelli born blind? And you were like wait, what? Bocelli is blind?
Mert Ö.
I didn't know that.
Ann F.
And isn't that the point that you want to get in life? That, you know, it's not Andrea Bocelli, the blind singer. It's just Andrea Bocelli. And it's Stevie Wonder, and it's whomever else with the disability, that it's not said their disability, it’s just said their talent.
Kate M.
Absolutely.
Ann F.
And he was like, Wait, why? Go? He had no idea. You know, so and as a note, he was not born blind. He went blind at 12.
Ann F.
And apparently in the world of blind, it's such an advantage. Because you have imagination.
Mert Ö.
But I would say it's an advantage, but also, it can be at this disadvantage, because you are losing your vision later. And then you can be really bad mentally because if you're born blind, then you will not have to get used to it or something like that.
Kate M.
So yes, Andrea Bocelli is an Italian singer, who performs opera as well as classical and pop music. And yes, he is also blind.
Kate M.
What did you think of the concert, both of you?
Ann F.
So the first half, it was really opera.
Mert Ö.
I was falling asleep.
Ann F.
But with that, during the intermission, he started doing a Bocelli impression that was pretty spot on. Have you heard him sing?
Kate M.
I have not, but I am familiar with his music.
Ann F.
And then all these people in you know, we're like, oh my God, you're amazing. And I was going. I didn't know that. They were listening. And we ended up meeting people like a couple rows behind that live in the next town. They gave us a ride home. Second half was way better because it does much more modern material.
Mert Ö.
There were a lot of other singers. There was a woman that had a really, really beautiful, strong voice. I'm not exaggerating, she was like Whitney Houston.
Kate M.
Ann has also gotten Mert into dancing. First in kind of a comical way…
Mert Ö.
She was trying to teach me some chicken dance. And I was like, let me tell the story. I was struggling with a math quiz. Because I was feeling nervous. It was gonna be my first quiz. And she said, Boy, you're feeling nervous. Let's get relaxed. And she said, Okay, we're gonna do some chicken dance. I was feeling like, you can feel my heartbeat. I was so nervous.
Ann F.
He got so like, like, crazed over testing and quizzes and, like self pressure and things like that. And I'm just I, we need to like, bring this down and relax. And we're gonna like, you know, chicken dance.
Kate M.
Then she supported Mert during a recent school musical revue he performed in. A revue is a type of musical theater that can combine singing, dancing, music and sketches.
Mert Ö.
Oh, yeah. So we just did a show. It was a lot of fun. Like, it was my first dancing ever. I've never done that before. I didn't do that before. And then there were a lot of things to learn. Like, it was brand new for me. So we are really involved with music at high school. We have a band and a choir concert tomorrow and I'm gonna, I'm gonna be performing with the other kids.
Ann F.
He did a solo, he was the pianist. But the dance number… and he came home and he said, I'm in a dance number. I went, Oh! Because we've been kind of trying to learn how to dance.
Mert Ö.
I'm telling you, I've learned a lot of stuff from her. Because like, no one ever told me that I could dance or be great, because I was really worried about how it would look, you know.
Ann F.
My thing is that, like, you know, there's always going to be people that say things, there's always going to be noise in your head, you're either not going to be good enough, because you're blind, or you're going to have to work doubly hard for your you might as well enjoy whatever it is.
Mert Ö.
Yeah.
Ann F.
So let's find something that we have fun with. And this dance at school, the camaraderie. Like, the way the director did it. I mean, you know, there was a kid, you know, he did his own walkout and things like that, but there was a kid that would tap and move him and like how they work together was just, you could hear a pin drop. I mean, first of all, his vocals are amazing. But I think for the most part, people in the audience were not expecting in this foursome of the Four Seasons to see a blind person come out, walk out.
[Oh What a Night Music]
Ann F.
I mean, I was so happy. And so this week, we're starting ballroom dancing.
Kate M.
Wow. That’s great!
Kate M.
Ann, across all of these experiences that you've had, what are some of the things that you have learned and taken away?
Ann F.
Yeah, it's kept me much younger than my friends. Don't tell them not to watch but it's totally true. You know, a different appreciation. I mean, I've hosted from Tanzania and from Sierra Leone and And, you know, and I hear from the girls, pretty much, I don't hear from everybody at least twice a month, if not every week. Wow. You know, no one's not in touch. And, you know, such an appreciation for what we have and their appreciation of coming here. Some of the questions that you'll ask, you know, my first host daughter, I said something like, is this your first time having your own room? And she said, It's my first time having my own bed. And you learn that a lot of times what you say is not necessarily what you mean.
Kate M.
For example, when Ann was speaking with her first host daughter before her arrival to the states, her daughter asked her if there was anything she should know about flying. It was going to be her first time on a plane. Ann told her to wear a lot of layers to take on and off in case it’s cold on a flight. Also, to wear pants without zippers.
Well, her host daughter grew up in a culture where women wear dresses and skirts, not pants. So before her flight to the U.S., she spent a bunch of time shopping around, trying to find pants without zippers. And she wasn’t able to find any! And she was very concerned, because she thought that this was some sort of well-known plane-related rule. That you can’t fly with zippers.
Ann F.
And what I meant to say is, I want you to be comfortable. Right?
Kate M.
Right.
Ann F.
So I think a lot of times in life, and it's something that I always go back to with the kids when someone says something. I'm like, well, that's literally what they said. But is that really what they meant? And I think when you deal with people with different languages, it's learning what you say versus what you mean. And to slow down to process that. And I always use that as an example because I'm just like, what? Can I you know, no, I should want you to be comfortable. She was like, I couldn't find pants without a zipper. I'm like, what?
Kate M.
Mert, do you have advice for other students with disabilities who are interested in coming to the U.S.?
Mert Ö.
I would say that, like, there is that reality that I always agreed with, like, it's kind of a little bit hard to accept it.
But so you always have to prove yourself to others because to do something on your own.
So I would say that it's not like, maybe to get used to it.
But especially for exchange students, maybe I would say communication is really, really important. For everyone, but especially for disabled people. Because maybe not everyone may not not necessarily know what you need. Or maybe they can ask some ridiculous questions. For example, when I got to the airport, I was just looking for food. And I said, can I get a burger? or something like that to the security guy. And he said, do you need a wheelchair? And I said, Oh, what is a wheelchair? And he was trying to bring one. I was like, Oh, no, I don't need a wheelchair. I was totally shocked.
But I would say I think it's really important, it’s crucial to get used to the kind of things and not hold your stuff back being equal as equals.
Then I would say I like pretty much everything for maybe, like, you know, I don't have any special advice for disabled people or exchange students, maybe pretty much everything that you would have to do in your life.
Ann F.
You're basically saying, you don't want to be treated any different.
Mert Ö.
I don't want to, but like, I know some people, some disabled people that are trying to make money with their disabilities, and I'm not appreciating it. But that is their preferences, like choices. But, I know, I know a lot of people that don't believe they can do anything. I'm sad about it. But you know, if you're disabled then please do not hold yourself back to try new things. Because I've never, I've never danced before, but I've tried.
Kate M.
Well, is there anything else that either of you would like to add?
Mert Ö.
Maybe I can talk a little bit about my goals. I want to study here at Berklee College of Music or Juilliard kind of prestigious schools, as musically, I'm really into music. I love performing. And like I can compose melodies for songs. And so people think that I can write songs. I've never tried it for English, but I'm gonna try it. So I'm really interested in music. And I would dedicate my life to music. I really love people's reactions. People sing along with me when I'm singing. So it's the thing that makes me really happy.
Kate M.
You can check out Mert’s music and his covers at mertozer_official on instagram, and by searching for his name on Youtube.
Kate M.
Okay, thank you, Mert. And Ann, is there anything you’d like to add?
Ann F.
I think that schools should learn from ours. And I think that once we all start looking at, you know, abilities, plural versus disability singular, it makes us all better. And I think that everyone in the school or the community has learned something, whether that is that a blind person can be independent, can be smart and funny and sarcastic, and we really banter a lot.
And you totally forget that it's anything but a person. And I think at the end of the day, that's it, right. So I would say to anyone, be open minded to accepting anyone with… You know, I don't even like the word disability because it's just, I guess you have to say it, but it's in my mind right now, it's a whatever. So that’s our story.
Mert Ö.
Thanks for listening to us.
Kate M.
It’s a great story. And it's a unique story.
Kate M.
That was Mert Özer from Turkey, and Ann Ford from New Jersey.
Mert came to the United States with the goals of being more challenged academically, and having the opportunity to pursue his passion for music in a school where he felt more supported. He has formed a real relationship with his host mother, Ann, and really gotten involved in the school community. Here, he’s had unique opportunities, such as participating in a dance performance at school. He will return to Turkey with newfound confidence in pushing himself to explore other new endeavors.
As I said at the top, Mert is a participant on the YES program. Every year, AFS-USA hosts over 200 exchange students on US Department of State high school programs, including YES.
I have actually chatted with a couple of YES participants over these three seasons of The AFS Exchange. One of my favorite episodes is called “AFSers in Schools: The Impact of Student Exchange,” where I speak with students from Palestine, Lebanon, and India as well as their teachers. If you’re interested in learning more about the YES program, check out yesprograms.org.
[Music]
Kate M.
Well, thank you for listening to The AFS Exchange! I’m Kate Mulvihill. Let us know what you thought of this episode by sending a message to podcast@afsusa.org. You can also rate and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe there as well so you don’t miss any episodes in the upcoming 4th season.
This podcast was created by Kate Mulvihill. Social media by Julie Ball and Nina Gaulin. Special thanks to Akemi Akaiwa and Sylvia Pertzborn.